• Jennifer Hudson will sing for President Obama, Michelle Obama and their guests at a state dinner tonight.

I love that the Obamas love their Chicago gal. She should always be at the White House. For some reason, I am imagining a scenario in which JHud sings "And I am telling you… I'm not going…" And then actually refuses to leave. [ET]

• Miley Cyrus went for burgers, and when the counter person asked her name to mark the order, the teen dream said: ""Are you serious? You don't recognize me? I'm Miley Cyrus." The counterperson shrugged, having no idea what that meant, and replied: "That's nice for you. Here is your order. Have a good day." [Page Six]
• Wow, Carla Bruni is going to be in a Woody Allen movie! "I don't know for what role but I said yes," she explains. And she admits she lacks experience as an actress: Perhaps I will be very bad." [WSJ]
• Judi Dench was filming a Christmas special set in the 1840s when she lost a crown on her tooth. ''There wasn't time for me to change,'' she says. ''So I was in my wig and bonnet and all my clothes. I went into the waiting room and sat and registered, and everyone kept looking at me. When I got in to see the dentist, he said: 'Are you busy working at the moment?' I was wearing a full wig with curls." [Telegraph]
• BREAKING: Amber Tamblyn got eyelash extensions. [Page Six]
• Jon and Kate might be over, but the Jon Gosselin drama lives on! The breach of contract suit against him — in which TLC claims be took on unauthorized work — persists. Now there are — you guessed it — phone call recordings between Gosselin's manager and (who else?) Michael Lohan. [MSNBC Scoop]
• At the link, you can listen to a recorded Jon Gosselin rant about TLC and say: "I put my kids out there to every pedophile on the planet and they never got paid for it." [Radar Online]
• Mariah Carey was on GMTV in the UK, and the host of the show says: "She had two people to lower her on to the GMTV sofa, in case her dress got crushed, one person to walk in front of her backwards at all times in case she fell over and several people behind the camera making sure she was going to be filmed from the right angle! Oh, and she brought her own toilet roll as well." [The Sun]
• Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds partied all night for ScarJo's birthday, and ScarJo and RyRen looked so in love and everything was wonderful and their life is perfect. [Page Six]
• Regis Philbin will be away from Live with Regis & Kelly for a month while he recovers from hip replacement surgery. Be well Reege! [NY Post]
• Emma Watson has a new boyfriend, Spanish rock star Rafael Cebrian. Allegedly. [Page Six]
• Amy Winehouse spent thousands on "saucy" underwear, perfume and a rhinestone-enrcusted whip over the weekend. According to a source, "Amy loves showing off her new boobs and wanted to get sexy underwear to make the most of them. She couldn't resist getting a few other bits and pieces, like the whip." [The Sun]
• Remember when Nicole Kidman said she'd "explored obsession" and "strange sexual fetish stuff"? She takes it back, sorta: She meant when acting! "That's what I said in relation to my work. In terms of my work, yeah, I'm interested in exploring love and so that comes in all different forms. In terms of my private life, I'd never reveal what I've explored in my private life." [Daily Express]
• Just because Taylor Lautner is on the cover of Men's Health and Taylor Swift was on the cover of Women's Health doesn't mean they're in competition with each other. Jeez. [Page Six]
• A film about Lil' Wayne is controversial? You don't say. [CNN]
• For some reason I hallucinated that Cougar Town was cancelled. Instead it was just on a break while Courteney Cox dealt with a "family matter" and will be back filming on November 30. I would love to do a "when do you think Cougar Town will get cancelled" pool, though. [People]
  
• Neve Campbell talks about living in London, getting ready to film Scream 4, her "terrible" fashion mistakes in the past, her work with an orphanage in African and "working the Sidney bob" for the Scream flicks. [BlackBook]
• Timbaland says he did not delete Chris Brown's vocal from a track called "The One I Love" due to the drama in Chris' life — "Chris is a friend to us," a rep for Timbaland claims. But Chris is missing from the song. [E!]
• 50 Cent settled the lawsuit he filed against Taco Bell after the fast-food chain used his name without permission. The dollar amount has not been disclosed, but 50 was asking for $4 million, which buys a lot of 99¢ tacos. [NY Post]
• Tyler Perry has donate $1 million to the NAACP. [WaPo]
• Spencer Pratt bet some DJs that Heidi Montag's performance at the Miss Universe pageant was the most-watched performance of all time and now he wants his money. [TMZ]
• Jeez, the Aerosmith dramz is never-ending. Joe Perry is not speaking to Steven Tyler and seems generally hostile about the situation. [MTV News]
• It appears that Pulp Fiction writer Roger Avary is updating his Twitter account and Tweeting. From JAIL. [The Wrap]
• Rosie O'Donnell raised money for her Rosie's Broadway Kids charity not by offering trips or prizes or dinners — but by working the room. [Showbiz 411]
• Poor Kirk Cameron. Going to a UCLA to convince students that Darwin's theory of evolution is wrong really backfired on you, huh? The students totally know what they're talking about when they say Darwin had evidence. [TMZ]
• Tila Tequila claims a sex video that recently popped up on a porn site was stolen from her laptop two years ago. She's planning to sue. [TMZ]
• There will be a Susan Boyle documentary on the TV Guide Network? Isn't that the one where the channels scroll all day long? [NY Post]
• Little Richard is recovering from surgery and asks for your wop bop a loo bops and prayers. [USA Today]
• Whatshername would like to apologize for her behavior since her divorce. [BBC News]
• "I knew what tone I wanted for the book, and it was a matter first of coming up with an outline, getting the characters, the ending, and then figuring out how to get from one point to the next. I'd send [a chapter] to [my collaborator]. He'd come back with some notes. If there was something I felt strongly enough about, then we'd talk about it to see if it would work. The book had to sound like I wrote it." — Al Roker, on his new mystery novel, The Morning Show Murders. [The Daily Beast]
• "The difference between you and me is that even when I wash my hands, I can't get it out of my mind that they're not clean. I have to go back to the sink, I can't even continue with my day. I have to leave the party, leave work. Those thoughts are so intrusive and on a continual loop that I can't inhibit it. Everybody has irregular thoughts, but not like this… I'm probably the only guy set up for these book signings hoping no one will show up. I don't want to face anyone, look anyone in the eye. Who, with my condition, would do a book tour right in the middle of H1N1 flu season?" — Howie Mandel, whose book, Here's the Deal: Don't Touch Me, hits stores today. [USA Today]
• "Why are people embarrassed about elderly sex? I hate it when I'm given a script in which the guy's wife is dead. That's just an easy way to dispense with having sex. Audiences don't want to see Big Daddy and Big Mama in bed – but I like to talk about it." — James Earl Jones, who plays Big Daddy in the all-black stage version of Cat On A Hot Tin Roof, now in London. [Guardian]
• "We have gotten ourselves into a big, deep hole in the way that we look at healthcare. We are in a system where they get money when we're sick. That's never going to work for us. So when someone says, 'You don't need a mammogram until you're 50,' you take charge of that. I don't trust any of that." — Melissa Etheridge. [People]
• "We were working 12 hours a day, so it didn't leave too much time to eat." — New Moon's Ashley Greene on staying thin. Then her publicist nudged her, and she said: "We had a personal trainer and then we also had fight training." [Ny Daily News]
• "It took us only six months to get married, but it took us five years to commit to making a movie together." — Tao Ruspoli, who made the indie flick Fix with his wife of seven years, Olivia Wilde. [Page Six]
• "I'm all set [with a boyfriend]. But unfortunately not everyone out there is and it's tough to date, to be out there and so I kind of wanted to portray that other side of women's reality and [my song] 'Did It Again' is about making recurrently the same mistake which is something us women tend to do because of our emotional nature, that emotional, romantic and dreamy nature." — Shakira. [AP]
• "He plays guitar and has a great voice. Kids and dogs love him. He loves his mom and sister and girlfriend. He's perfect... too bad he's ugly." — Natalie Portman on Jake Gyllenhaal. I know she's kidding, but I do suspect he's had a nose job. [Mirror]

• Timbaland recorded a song with Chris Brown for his upcoming album, but now he's removed Chris' vocals from the track. Timbaland's manager says it's a "creative decision for both parties," but sources say he's done with the "drama" surrounding Chris.

• Timbaland's manager added, "There's nothing against Chris. We love Chris." Coincidentally, Timbaland's album will be released on December 8, the same day as Chris'. [TMZ]
• In May Chris Brown was sued by a paparazzo who claims he fell down a staircase at an L.A. Fitness after being chased by his bodyguards. Now Chris has filed papers saying he's not responsible for the injuries because LA Fitness didn't keep the paparazzi out.TMZ]
• Someone threw a packaged ham at Paula Deen at a charity event in Atlanta. It smacked her in the face, but she wasn't injured. [TMZ]
• Her rep says she was "startled at first, but quickly regained focus and kept her humor... She's okay now and is icing her face." [Us]
• ABC received about 1,500 complaints about Adam Lambert's performance at the AMAs last night, which included a dancer on a leash, simulated oral sex, and Lambert kissing another man. ABC said that isn't an unusual number of complaints, and the executives probably don't care because it was the highest rated AMAs since 2002. [USA Today]
• Jennifer Lopez joked about tripping at the AMAs, saying, "Did I trip a little bit? I don't even remember... Yeah, I meant to do that. That was part of the choreography." [People]
• Roman Polanski's lawyers are fighting amongst themselves. Last week, his French lawyer said, "he will not accept being extradited to the United States," but his L.A. lawyers just issued a statement saying, "Any statements made in the press to the effect that Mr. Polanski will not accept lawful orders of the courts, including relating to extradition, are not true." [Daily Express]
• In response to Perez Hilton writing: "It's been one year since Asslee pushed Bronx Mowgli through her vayjayjay and it's all the family is talking about!" Jessica Simpson Tweeted: "Does perez hilton..whatever his name really is..have no heart at all? Don't ever attack my family again.Sad to know u hate so deeply.Sad 4 U" [Us]
• Jon Gosselin's former lawyer Charles Meyer, who withdrew from his divorce case in September, has filed an emergency petition asking that the $43,000 Jon owes him be taken out of Jon's share of the property distribution before it's handed out to Jon. [TMZ]
• Dr. Conrad Murray returned to work today at his Houston clinic for the first time since Michael Jackson's death. [AP]
• The Texas Medical Board is now conducting their own investigation of Dr. Conrad Murray, which was triggered by the ongoing DEA investigation of the doctor. [TMZ]
• Alexandra Forbes Kerry, Senator John Kerry's daughter, won't be prosecuted for DUI because when she was stopped last week, she was under the legal limit. [TMZ]
• A jury found Barry Carpenter, the Ohio police chief accused of breaking into the home of Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate, guilty of receiving stolen property, theft in office and tampering with evidence. He was acquitted on charges of burglary and unauthorized used of property or services. He faces up to 10 years in jail. [AP]
• Michael Barrett, the man accused of secretly filming Erin Andrews in hotel rooms, has pled not guilty to one count of interstate stalking. [Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt gave more than $6 million to charity last year, doubling what they gave in 2007. [Showbiz 411]
• Today on her show, Martha Stewart said there are "some comments that are circulating on the Internet regarding me and Rachael Ray" but, "just for the record there are no bad feelings between us nor have there ever been... I truly believe that Rachael has done a terrific job bringing people, many people who would of never of even stepped into the kitchen or made a dish to cook. I applaud Rachel for her enthusiastic approach to cooking." [CNN]
• In a clip from tomorrow's episode of The Hills, Spencer Pratt says he took Heidi Montag to a sushi restaurant "for a little alcohol test" because he thinks she has purposely ditched her birth control pills, and that's the easiest way to tell if your wife's pregnant. [Us]
• Someone at the L.A. Times read and summarized How to be Famous by Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, so you wouldn't have to: [L.A.T.]
• Candy Spelling has settled with the ex-maid who was suing her for overworking her. A Spelling source says the maid didn't get much, but "Maybe in maid money it's a lot." [TMZ]
• When asked about his relationship with Kate Hudson, A-Rod said, "Life is good I'm happy. We're happy, I have lots to be grateful for." [Radar Online]
• Keith Urban says he hopes his daughter Sunday Rose grows up to be a singer. "She's got some pipes," he says. "I think she sounds quite musical. I sit at the piano with her in the morning and we mash the keys together." [Us]
• Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson spent the weekend frolicking in New York. They went to a few bars, were spotted making out, and finished the weekend at Megu last last night. "They were with two friends and looked very cozy," says a source. "Both were having a great time." [People]
• Zac Efron says:"My first audition ever was for this Peter Pan live action show when I was 15 and I'd just done the play Peter Pan so I thought 'who could be better'. I showed up and it was on tape in this tiny room. On stage you speak to the back of the room and you project and Peter Pan is very animated and jumping off things and going crazy so that's what I did in the audition, running around and jumping off my chair, singing the lines. This woman interrupted me and goes 'you've never done this before have you?' and I went 'no' and she went 'okay you can go' and that was the worst audition ever, ever in my life. I kind of wept about that one." People]
• Here's Chippendales dancer Nathan Minor's critique of Levi Johnston's Playgirl photos: "The only problem — his hairy armpits! We take only mostly shaved guys. He should also focus on his diet to help him get a bit harder. He doesn't have to go the fitness-y hard look, but he could tighten up a little bit. His body is a little soft. But he has good hair and a great face. He's definitely Chippendales material. Anytime he wants to do the show, he's more than welcome!" [Us]
• Q: "In light of your song 'Baby By Me,' if you could pick a celebrity to be your 'baby mama,' who would it be? 50 Cent: "That would probably be an easier question for someone who isn't a celebrity. I don't know. Maybe I'd have an interracial relationship with Megan Fox... I'll get me some Jada and walk around like I'm Will (laughs). Maybe, who else? I'm not really excited by celebrity because I'm a celebrity. People who have a little bit more normalcy can't understand exactly what it is, but you get accustomed to it and it becomes less interesting." [AP]

• Talk about fighting some unholy war: Amy Winehouse has emphysema. Her father Mitch says: "With smoking the crack cocaine and the cigarettes her lungs are all gunked up. There are nodules around the chest and dark marks. She's got 70 per cent lung capacity." Shiz. [Daily Mail, via TMZ]
• Amy's emphysema is in the early stages. [People]
• But docs say if she goes back to smoking drugs, she won't just lose her voice: She'll die. [Yahoo News]
• Amy is "desperate" to perform at Nelson Mandela's birthday party this Friday, so there might be medics and an ambulance on standby. [Mirror]
• Comedian George Carlin has died at the age of 71. [AP]
• Will Angelina Jolie give birth on the 4th of July? Or will it be July 14, Bastille Day? USA vs. France! [LA Times]
• Someone fired a weapon awfully close to the set of Johnny Depp's move in Chicago. Johnny was not harmed, repeat: Johnny was not harmed. [TMZ]
• Johnny Depp's been supplying the crew of his new flick with booze. [Mirror]
• Courtney Love is "shockingly pale and thin." No, seriously. It's alarming. [The Sun]

• Are Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupri going to have a baby? "Yeah, soon," JD says. "Janet would be a great mom. She was around so many brothers and sisters all her life, so she's got to know what that is [like]. And her mom is a great mother." And it's not like any of the kids, turned out crazy or anything. [People]
• Producer Timbaland was wed in a "lavish" ceremony in Aruba over the weekend. Congrats! [People]
• Minnie Driver had a baby shower and no, we still don't know who the baby daddy is. [People]
• Ellen DeGeneres gave Portia de Rossi a ring with pink diamonds for their upcoming "dream wedding." Says Ellen: "I can't wait to be married. I feel like it is long overdue. And I think someday people will look back on this like women not having the right to vote and segregation and anything else that seems ridiculous like we all don't have the same rights." [People]
• A mom paid $7,000 in a charity auction for her 9-year-old to spend two days with David Beckham; some sort of security problem caused the prize to be canceled. Sob! [Page Six]
• Jennifer Lopez acting like a diva on a shopping trip? Yawn. [Page Six]
• Heather Mills on Celebrity Apprentice? [Page Six]
• Paris Hilton's being coached on how to behave for her new MTV show? You don't say. [Page Six]
• Page Six accused Cynthia Nixon of having breast augmentation, but Cynthia, a breast-cancer survivor, says: "I was at St. Luke's-Roosevelt Hospital for my 'three-monthly' checkup. I was in the Oncology Department. I guess they think that means 'plastic surgery.'" She also says: "If I was going to get a boob job, wouldn't it make sense that I'd get it before Sex and the City?" [Rush & Molloy]
• Strokes guitarist Albert Hammond Jr.: Seen making out with Agyness Deyn. A rock star boyfriend would make Aggy's world domination complete! [Rush & Molloy]
• Blind item! "Which divorced comic superstar is exploring a groovy new real-life persona: that of an openly gay man?" [Rush & Molloy]
• Does Jamie Lynn Spears use a look-alike to fool the paparazzi? [MSNBC]
• Photographers were on the beach in Malibu trying to get a shot of Matthew McConaughey when a posse of surfers attacked! One paparazzo was dragged into the water and kicked. [TMZ]
• The LA County Sheriff's Department says: "They formed a semicircle in front of his camera and they said they didn't want him to film," said Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department spokesman Steve Whitmore. "They got into an argument, and he indicated that he received injuries. . . . [They] took the video camera and threw it in the water." [LA Times]
• Christie Brinkley's divorce is gonna get ugly, if you care. [Independent]
• The chick who was a teen when she had an affair with Brinkley's husband may testify, uh-oh. [People]
• That rare footage of Marilyn Monroe that was up for auction was purchased for $60,000. It's only 47 minutes, but rich with history. [USA Today]
• Larry Birkhead purchased lingerie once worn by Anna Nicole Smith at a charity auction, and plans to give the items to his daughter Dannielynn. Aw, classy. [E!]
• Tom Brokaw will host Meet The Press, taking over for the late Tim Russert, at least until election day in November. [ET]
• Rolling Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood walked his daughter Leah down the aisle in her wedding on Saturday. All the Stones were there, as well as Jerry Hall and Kate Moss. [ET]
• Shia LaBeouf had a cigarette in the men's room at the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum in Washington, DC. and set off the smoke detector, whoops. Dude, you've already been busted for smoking once. Time to quit. [Socialite Life]
• The Love Guru failed at reaching enlightenment and bombed at the box office. [E!]

Variety:

There's no denying that the album sounds youthful. Producers the Neptunes, Timbaland and Justin Timberlake, and Timbaland protege Nate "Danja" Hills give the album a very of-the-minute sheen; the overheated "Incredible" bowls you over like the first lusty phase of a relationship; "Give It To Me" rides along on an insistent synthesizer bounce that could make it a summer favorite. [...] But for the most part, the album is suffused with a predatory desperation that's not pretty at any age. Here, it's as taut and affectless as the Botoxed faces of "The Real Housewives of Orange County."

Given hip-hop's long-standing ubiquity, Madonna is arriving late to this particular party, suggesting that she might be slowing down in her advanced age. But even if she's not starting any new trends in following the lead of Nelly Furtado, Gwen Stefani and such, Madge still manages to sound perfectly at home in the hip-hop world, where her sharp pop sensibilities — particularly her ability to craft killer hooks — are given a mostly fresh rhythmic framework. If it's not the boldest move of her career, it's still a successful gambit from one of the great all-time shape-shifters.

Between the fountain-of-youth dalliances and hookups with hip-hop kingpins, we know what you're thinking: Just how massive is this midlife crisis of hers? Pretty major, probably, but she makes it work with this surprisingly rejuvenated set. Now 49, Madonna has spent the past decade unevenly exploring moody trip-hop, chilly Eurodisco, and ethereal electronica — all of which are absent here. Candy finds her dropping her Kabbalah string on the dance floor and readopting an American accent to offer up an unpretentious, nonstop dance party.

Perhaps Hard Candy is simply one last roar before Madonna mellows into the autumn of her years, reflecting upon all she's accomplished and throwing down wisdom instead of a gauntlet. But even if she gets this latest fight out of her system, Madonna already might be done with nostalgia. Her last album, the house music-warmed Confessions, was as sweet as Hard Candy is lip-puckering. Madonna knows better than anyone that looking backward is dangerous for pop stars, especially women. It can lead them into the most vicious competition of all — with their younger selves.

Sex is always lurking — but not just where you bump and grind it. It's a form of self-expression and liberation, like dancing, which "makes me feel like the only one the light shines on" in the percolating Heartbeat. It's a feeling that every woman aspires to in some way, but few get to experience on a regular basis. With Hard Candy, Madonna at least lets us sample the sweet sound of success.

Timberlake and co's approach is firmly rooted in R&B. It's about grooves rather than memorable songs, and Madonna just doesn't make for a convincing soul diva.

But the days of Madonna bending the mainstream to her enormous will apparently are over. Her latest album, Hard Candy (Warner Bros.), in stores Tuesday, finds her working with established collaborators in an effort to keep up with trends, instead of starting them. Mega-star collaborations always look promising in theory, but rarely live up to expectations. The same can be said for Madonna hooking up with four of the biggest names in pop on Hard Candy: Timbaland, the Neptunes, Justin Timberlake and Kanye West.

The album's weakest moment is its most emotionally vapid. Madonna dips into Español for the painfully literal "Spanish Lesson." She has said the music was inspired by a Baltimore dance called the Percolator but seems more indebted to Timberlake's fast-strummed "Like I Love You." Fortunately, there's also the bass-popping retro-boogie "She's Not Me," where Madonna imagines her lovers feeling buyers' remorse for being seduced by a copycat who "doesn't have my name." The offender who's "reading my books and stealing my looks and lingerie" could be any young pop starlet. But it also seems like an oddly timed barb at Madonna's now-fallen successor, Britney Spears, who has teamed up with many of the guys on Hard Candy — Pharrell, Danja and (ahem) Timberlake — and Madonna herself.

"Hard Candy" is released today.

• OMG Bobby Brown's autobiography is going to be sofa king awesome: "I never used cocaine until after I met Whitney. Before then, I had experimented with other drugs, but marijuana was my drug of choice. At one point in my life, I used drugs uncontrollably. I was using everything I could get my hands on, from cocaine to heroin, weed and cooked cocaine." [Page Six]
  
• Madonna donated 100 copes of Vanity Fair to the Kabbalah Centre. You know, the one with her on the cover. Soooo generous. [Page Six]
  
• Beyoncé and Jay-Z: Getting married this Friday??? [Perez Hilton]
  
• Jay-Z is on the verge of a $150 million deal with Live Nation — one of the biggest music contracts ever. Would getting married first mean Beyoncé could be all, what's yours is mine? [Reuters]
  
• Jessica Alba's unborn baby is a girl, and will be named Honor Warren. [Star]

• Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon: On vacay with the kids in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. Cute! [MSNBC]
• Ed Westwick, aka Gossip Girl's Chuck Bass, has been spotted drunk out on the town again. His publicist must be working overtime to get him in the papers, but he's so damn cute we're falling for it. [Page Six]
• Speaking of GG, Chace Crawford (aka Nate ) has had a rough few weeks after breaking up with Carrie Underwood and being accused of dating JC Chasez. But he's "doing okay," his sister, Miss Missouri, says. You can stop worrying. [People]
• Kevin Federline's lawyer says Britney's dad is doing a great job. There was a situation and that seems to be stabilized. Does that mean she's cured? Of course not." [People]
• Britney's manager, Larry Rudolph, says Britney will make the biggest comeback in history. [ONTD]
• Mariah Carey canceled interviews in London because she's "not a morning person." Viva la diva! [Mirror]
• Amy Winehouse saw a gang of paparazzi camped out on her doorstep in the cold, so she made them tea and brought them cookies. Love. Her. [ Mirror]
• Jerry Seinfeld's brakes failed on Saturday night and his his vintage car flipped over as he was driving in the Hamptons. Jerry walked away unscathed. [People]
• Speaking of the Hamptons, longtime resident Billy Joel's wife, Katie Lee Joel, has a cookbook with a recipe for "Man Loaf" that "instantly makes any guy fall in love." As the kids say, vom. [Page Six]
• "Everybody thinks I'm in the loony bin, but I'm actually in rehab." —Steve-O. [Page Six]
• Brad Pitt has dropped his publicist, Cindy Guagenti, who has repped him since Thelma & Louise. Could it be the influence of Angelina, who has never used a publicist? [Page Six]
• Brad Pitt (with local Springfield, MO businessmen and his brother Doug) has established a new fund to help Springfield public school students who are in poverty: The fund will address hunger, hygiene, and health needs. [KSMU]
• Will Lindsay Lohan's new album get released on time later this year? She's reportedly not being cooperative and canceled important meetings with producer Timbaland. Girl, check yourself before you wreck yourself. [Gatecrasher]
• Katie Couric plagiarized a poem when she was in grammar school and has kept it a secret for 45 years. What other skeletons does she have in her closet? [Gatecrasher]
• Yeah, yeah, Laguna Beach alum Jason Wahler is getting his own VH1 reality show, we know. And we're not looking forward to it. [Gatecrasher]
• Is Brody Jenner involved in that show? Or getting his own? [People]
• Blind item! "Which TV starlet could be the next to have embarrassing naked pix revealed? The racy snaps are a souvenir from her on-again, off-again hookups with a co-star." [Gatecrasher]
• Teri Hatcher will sing on American Idol Gives Back. Consider yourself warned. [Rush & Molloy]
• Kirsten Dunst is redoing the $3 million penthouse in Tribeca, NYC, she bought to live in now hat she's completed six weeks of rehab. Nothing gets booze off your mind like a pricey renovation project! [Rush & Molloy]
• Did UCLA Medical Center employees spy on Farrah Fawcett's files like they did on Britney's? [TMZ]
• Heather Mills was spotted at the airport wearing a black wig as a disguise. WTF. [The Sun]
• The Lord Chief Justice has said people who represent themselves in court — like Heather Mills — just waste the court's time. [Telegraph]
• The mayor of the town in Chile where Daniel Craig is shooting the new Bond movie is leading a protest against the film. The mayor claims that when he drove his car onto the set, Daniel Craig "fled in terror." Bond would never flee! [Daily Mail]
• Kanye West's new travel site is just a "shoddily assembled web 0.5 front-end to house the Travelocity website." [AdAge]
• Elvis Costello hosting a talk show for Sundance Channel? Sounds good. [Reuters]
• Stop me if you think you've heard this one before: Morrissey has won an apology in court from the publishers of Word Magazine, which called him a racist and a hypocrite. [Reuters]
• A judge has dismissed a defamation lawsuit by a businessman chased down the street by Sacha Baron Cohen in the Borat movie. Go away! [USA Today]
• Francis Ford Coppola's new movie is getting a "sex change": Carmen Maura is replacing Javier Bardem in the role of mentor and teacher. [Yahoo News]
• The family of R&B singer Sean Levert wants the FBI too look into his death — he died Sunday night after being strapped into a restraint chair in jail. [Yahoo News]
• Steve Irwin's father has quit working at the Australia Zoo because he was becoming a "disrupting influence." [Sydney Morning Herald]
• See, there's this pesky tax investigation going on involving the Irwins and the Zoo. [News.com.au]
• The Irwins and the Zoo got scammed. [News.com.au]
• "I think legal prostitution is the way to go, given the awful, horrendous traffic in women and the danger of girls being out on the street, so vulnerable to pimps and johns. In a legal brothel, they're licensed, they're protected, and the johns are protected because they know the girls have to be medically checked every week" - Helen Mirren. [Page Six]

• Isaac Mizrahi is defecting from Target to join Tim Gunn at Liz Claiborne. [Maybe they will post a YouTube video of themselves doing lunch at the company salad bar so Jennie can use it for porn! -Moe] This is supposed to be a big "blow" to Target, but Claiborne can use all the help it can get. [NYT]
  
• Keith Richards is the new face of Louis Vuitton. It was Marc's idea, of course. It's like post-post-sharkjumpism or something. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Designer Diane von Furstenberg on Hillary Clinton: "I support Hillary because I believe she will do the best job in the White House. I do know her a little and like her very much. She is intelligent, diligent, micro and macro, and she truly cares." [WWD, 2nd item]

• Kenneth Cole is not returning to the runways anytime soon because he doesn't feel "runway ready," or just can't bother justifying the expense to his shareholders, or whatevs. [WWD, 1st item]
• Hilary Duff is set to launch her second fragrance, With Love. (More apt name: With Greed.) [BellaSugar]
• Paris' infamous boutique Colette, which, depending on your point of view, is the most pretentious/awesome store in all the universe, is partnering with H&M to carry the cheap chain's Fashion Against AIDS collection, the first time H&M has allowed another retailer to stock its merchandise. The line includes design collaborations with famous designers like The Cardigans, Ziggy Marley, Rihanna, Good Charlotte, Jade Jagger, My Chemical Romance, Rufus Wainwright, the Scissor Sisters, and Timbaland. [Fashion Week Daily]

• Target might have lost Isaac to Liz Claiborne, but it looks like they're about to gain the designing powers of hot English designer Jonathan Saunders for the GO International line. [Vogue UK]
• Juliette Binoche is selling Lancome now. [Chic Report]
• And Diesel is selling bed linens now! [WWD, sub req'd]
• Christian Louboutin and his red-undersided shoes will be the sole focus of an upcoming exhibit at the Museum at FIT in New York. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Neiman Marcus commercials from 1985! [Sassybella]
• Laura Ashley to take over Moss Brothers? [NYT]
• Burberry: Stock might be dropping, but revenues are rising. Oh, the chavs. Gotta love 'em. [WWD, sub req'd]

• Despite toiling for so many years educating Americans on the merits of croc-skin bags on a certain premium cable TV show, Kim Cattrall says she has seen the PETA light: she's donating all the furs she wore in making the SATC movie to the animal rights organization so they can be donated to homeless people who no one will ever mistake for trendsetting style icons. There's just one flaw in that plan, and we think you might know what it is. [Page Six]
  
• Spanx is getting into the business of making bras. Shudder. [FabSugar]
  
• Gisele is the latest model to think she's a fashion designer. Ms. Bundchen's collection will be in stores in March 2008, but she didn't do it alone (surprise, surprise) — she's partnered with an obscure little duo known as Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana. [Vogue UK]
  
• Gucci will release a limited edition collection in honor of the Beijing Olympics. Wonder if anyone will follow up with a "Genocide Olympics" line? Yeah, probably not. [WWD, sub req'd]

• Why was Colin Farrell wearing Juicy Couture at the screening of his new film (directed by Woody Allen) the other night? "I got it for free. My personal style is quick." [Fashion Week Daily]
• French Vogue's Carine Roitfeld is being honored by amFAR this January for her philanthropic efforts to fight AIDS. We always knew she was a hooker with a heart of gold! [Fashion Week Daily]
• Pastel-colored condom compacts: Oy. [Sassybella]
• Leather jacket experts Belstaff: Costumed not only Steve McQueen way back when, but also Will Smith for I am Legend and Johnny Depp for Sweeney Todd. We will take an excuse to write about dreamy Johnny Depp. [Vogue UK]
• The latest pursuit by Donna Karan's holistic health care organization the Urban Zen Initiative: a celebrity DJ-created mix tape, natch. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Oh no! The writer's strike might mean celebs may not want to attend the big awards shows this winter like the Oscars and the Golden Globes? Which means that designers houses won't be able to tactfully loan out their garb to the pretty stars and get lots of free advertising? Well if that's not a reason to care now about the poor writers, we don't know what is. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Jade Jagger, Katharine Hamnett, the Scissor Sisters, Rihanna and Timbaland are amongst the celebs to join forces in creating yet another celeb-clothing-line-with-a-cause: Fashion Against AIDS. The line will be sold at H&M and 25% of the proceeds actually go to charity. [Vogue UK]
• Target: Sorta doesn't give a shit about Christmas this ear. No special decorations, no special merchandise. Bah Humbug. [WWD, sub req'd]

• Pete Doherty says he speaks to Amy Winehouse "almost every day." He says they are helping each other battle drugs and Amy's been clean since her husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, has been in prison. Uh, is this a good idea? [The Sun]
  
• Meanwhile, Amy's mom says of Blake, "Thank God he's gone [to jail]. Everyone else can see it. Amy chooses not to." Janis Winehouse also says Blake introduced Amy to drugs. Amy, listen to your mother! [Mirror]
  
• Dr. Jan Adams appeared on Larry King Live last night — only to tell Larry King that the family of Dr. Donda West had asked him not to go on. Dr. Adams shook King's hand and walked off the set. [TMZ]

• Meanwhile, Dr. Donda West's funeral was held yesterday in Oklahoma City, OK. Kanye West reportedly said he wanted his mother not to "rest in peace, but rest in paradise." [TMZ]
• Hospital staff at Cedars-Sinai in L.A. accidentally gave Dennis Quaid's newborn twins the wrong medication, and the babies are in the neo-natal intensive care unit. [TMZ]
• Heather Mills and her crazytown publicist Michele Elyzabeth are cutting off any news outlet that dares to make fun of Mills. Ooh, threats! [Page Six]
• Media mogul Mark Cuban may join forces with Mario Lopez to put together a celebrity martial arts program — where the stars "beat the heck" out of each other. Karate Chopping With The Stars? [Page Six]
• Terrence Howard will debut on Broadway as Brick in Cat On A Hot Tin Roof. Don't forget the baby wipes! [Gatecrasher]
• George Clooney sympathizes with Britney Spears: "You look at the footage of Britney running the red light - there's eight guys with cameras at night in the middle of the street. There are no rules now," he says. Also, Clooney was involved in a recent near-collision with paparazzi while riding his motorcycle in the Hollywood Hills. [People]
• A few days ago we heard that powerhouse producer Timbaland was expecting a baby, but wasn't in "a couple" with the mother. Guess what? The baby's been born (it's a girl) and Timbaland is engaged. That was quick! [People]
• Actress Rebecca Romijn and hubby Jerrry O'Connell adopted a German Shepherd puppy from a rescue organization — and had to euthanize him one week later. They claim he had a terminal case of pneumonia; the rescue organization says they should have had a chance to nurse the dog back to health. [E!]
• Jonathan Rhys Meyers' mother has died, days after he was arrested in Ireland. She had been "suffering from a short illness." Maybe that's why JRM turned to booze? [BBC News]
• Madonna's daughter Lourdes may appear in the next Harry Potter movie. No eyebrow jokes! [The Sun]
• Tiger Woods has bulldozed his $47 million Florida waterfront estate to make way for a "mega home." The new mansion will be 10,000 square feet, have three bedrooms, a master suite, wine cellar, cinema and games area, boat house, golf training studio, three car garage, guest house, tennis court, gym, pool, lap lane, boat docks and small golf course. Our tiny apartment just got smaller. [Telegraph]