• Victoria Beckham opens up to Women's Wear Daily about everything from the childhood bullying she endured to why she couldn't bring herself to tell Marc Jacobs she was starting a fashion line. Clearly, someone wants to be Taken Seriously:

• And Beckham sure is a busy woman these days. Not only is she judging American Idol next month, bu she recently redesigned her denim and sunglass lines, after taking them in-house (the innovations she came up with include square rivets). And she chaperones school field trips in her (limited, we imagine) spare time. When she moved into fashion, people were derisive — surely she was just another celebrity cashing in on the brand of her self. But perhaps we got it wrong? "There have been people that have wanted to knock me that haven't been able to because they haven't been able to argue with the quality or the sell-throughs," says the star, who moves about $7.5 million worth of products a year. "I've always been driven. I was mentally and physically bullied when I was at school and that gave me a very thick skin.…The only reason for me bringing that up is I have always been a fighter." [WWD]
• Yet somehow we're still happier for this Bronx priest, Father Andrew O'Connor, whose sustainable cotton clothing line was worn by Cameron Diaz in Vogue and is now selling extremely well. A chance encounter set the wheels in motion: "I was helping a young woman and her fiancé prepare for their marriage," explains Father O'Connor, "and she said I'm an editor at Vogue; I'd really like to see your clothing line." In the resultant issue, Anna Wintour herself wrote in her Editor's letter, "the neat pair of checked shorts from the charitably minded fashion company Goods of Conscience [is] my personal favorite." The profits from the line fund domestic violence initiatives in the Bronx, and support the native Guatemalan communities where the fabric is woven. [NYDN]
• Matt Tyrnauer tells the long, horrifying, funny, and strange story of making and distributing a documentary film about a subject who could be — a little difficult. And Tyrnauer financed the film by taking out credit cards with 0% introductory APRs. Whenever Giancarlo Giammetti inquired about the production's cashflow, Tyrnauer would reply, "It's fully financed by a bank called Capital One." Valentino: The Last Emperor is now shortlisted for a Best Documentary Oscar. [TDB]
• Two men were found guilty of stealing more than £4 million worth of Cartier jewelry from an airport warehouse in 2001. They had apparently gotten away with it, but were found out when their third accomplice, a contestant on a reality TV series about cooking made by Jamie Oliver, contacted police to confess the crime last year. [BBC]
• Tune in tomorrow to watch Tom Ford on the Martha Stewart Show. Then on Thursday, Roberto Cavalli takes his mark at Martha's kitchen island. [Glamchic]
• Louis Vuitton's spring campaign does in fact feature Lara Stone, the company has confirmed. The Dutch model was shot in a pastoral studio set with white doves and handbags nestled into moss by Steven Meisel. [WWD]
• The February release of Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland will be heralded in Paris by a display of one-off Alice-inspired dresses by designers Ann Demeulemeester, Christopher Kane, Alexander McQueen, and Martin Margiela (or at least whoever it is who designs under Martin Margiela's name these days) at the Printemps department store. [Elle UK]
• Daphne Guinness has officially moved from being Steven Klein's unpaid muse to his paid one. The heiress is featured in the spring Akris campaign. [WWD]
• Coach has filed more than 100 lawsuits against retailers it suspects of selling counterfeit Coach goods in 2009, including several lawsuits in Texas. Even though selling counterfeited goods is a criminal offense, the lawsuits are civil, because the fashion company wants the court to file injunctions against the offending retailers. One manager of a Fort Worth store named in the suit says, "I didn't know it was wrong." [DN]
• Barneys is looking to open its first Brooklyn Barneys Co-Op, most likely in Cobble Hill. [Crains]
• And in other retail news, the Chelsea Filene's Basement on the corner of Sixth Avenue and West 18th Street will close this March, after the company was unable to renegotiate the terms of its lease. Seventy-five employees will be affected; the company could not say whether or not the workers would be transferred to Filene's other New York stores. It is looking for a new location nearby. [Crains]

If you've ever even been slightly curious about Tim Burton, that ultimate disconsolate son of suburbia who's been inviting us into his gleefully bent movie worlds for 27 years now, rest assured your interest will be sated by the show dedicated to the director at the Museum of Modern Art. Opening on November 22nd, it is an almost ludicrously complete assemblage of Burtoniana.

Just about everything one could think of has been matted and framed, up to and including the nascent director's adolescent doodles and prize-winning poster ideas. The director gave the museum curators the full run of his house and assorted papers; they turned up such early gems as a hand-written high school paper titled "Humor In America" ("Types of jokes I've heard and seen: Pollock [sic] jokes (ethnic jokes), Knock-knock jokes, Insults, Stories, One liners, Elephant jokes, Puns...") and this anti-litter poster, which adorned garbage collection trucks in Burton's native Burbank, California, after he won a Keep Burbank Beautiful competition.

A lot of the drawings on display date from the time Burton spent working at Disney, just after attending CalArts. Apparently, while animating such projects as The Fox And The Hound, Burton found he needed a less treacly creative outlet, and badly: most of the sketches from this period betray a mordant sense of humor and the same dark view of humankind that he would later explore in his feature films. Strangely, these images whipsaw between the grim and the twee. Men and women are portrayed as gothic grotesques, or the drawings hinge on kind of sweet little visual puns: a stringy-haired, football-headed woman tugging a string between both ears gets the caption MENTAL FLOSS, for example. Another drawing features two bunny rabbits with baskets of eggs, one saying to the other, "We've been telling the kids the story of Christ all these years...Well, I think they're old enough now to know what Easter's really all about."

The gallery is crammed with material. (Evidently the excavations of Burton's home proved fruitful.) In addition to the sketches and the high school coursework, there are sculptures — seven of which, in the museum courtyard, Burton made specially for the show — movie props, costumes, posters, Polaroids, and assorted notes such as would please the most dedicated connoisseur of arcana. In one corner, Burton's 1983 adaptation of Hansel and Gretel — screened by the Disney channel exactly once — plays. In it, a Japanese brother and sister outsmart a wicked witch with candy cane rhinoplasty who lives in a house that looks like a quivering, pink tongue. There's also a gingerbread man character who talks to Hansel even as he eats him up. "If you think I'm tasty, and you want my body, come on take another bite," taunts the pastry, to the rhythm of "If You Think I'm Sexy."

Visitors enter the exhibit through an immense mouth that hangs, red carpet-tongue extended; in the black-and-white striped corridor behind, Burton's animated shorts play on flat screens. (At the other end, presumably somewhere in the gallery's stomach, is a room lit by UV light, where Burton's blacklight paintings on velvet are displayed.) It is a curatorial choice that seems to cleave to the crowd-pleasing side of things. It's anyone's guess why the curators thought Burton's work needed such a loud proclamation of its difference from typical museum fare as a jagged-tooth orifice; it looks like the sort of thing one might encounter at an amusement park ride.

The man himself described the process of having his work turned out for display as "surreal" and "an out-of-body experience." He remembered to thank the exhibition sponsor, the ridiculously renamed SyFy — "I'm a sci-fi kinda guy" — only at the very last second.

The exhibit includes a life-sized statue of Johnny Depp as Edward Scissorhands, as well as this sketch of the character.

Artifacts from Beetlejuice include this sculpture, a yellowed copy of The Afterlife newspaper ("ECTOPLASM LEAK AT PLANT NUMBER 9" "EXORCISM RATE SOARS"), and Burton's own hand-written notes about the project, which compare it to that other well-known "extreme four character conflict," Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf. In the nearby Mars Attacks section, there are latex severed heads and a gigantic painting of Martian anatomy. Sweeney Todd has a wooden box and an engraved set of cutthroat razors.

Batman is represented by various latex cowls, and Batman Returns merits the inclusion of Michelle Pfeiffer's whipstitched catsuit.

In a class composition Burton completed on September 27, 1974, at the age of 16, he imbued an ordinary trip to the doctor for a checkup and a tetanus shot with a sense of heavy foreboding. "There was a ghoulish smile on his face," wrote Burton, "like he enjoyed sticking the needle in my arm."

Tim Burton has stuck the needle in the moviegoing public's arm for nearly 30 years — by the looks of this show, thoroughly enjoying himself in the process. Long may he continue.

Tim Burton At MoMA [MoMA]

Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton, per usual, bring the Gothic deshabille.


Designer Nanette Lepore knows that if there's one crowd that won't blink at vaguely tribal girly armor, it's this one.


Michelle Harper is a fixture on the social scene and, yes, she always looks this fabulously deco-glam.


Aww, it's Danny DeVito and daughter Gracie!


Jeez louise, is Gabourey Sidibe batting 1000, or what? Nary a misstep, folks! Nary a one!


Brooke Shields can do simple elegance. She was a Calvin girl, after all.


Say what you will about Anna Wintour, say what you will about fur...man, those hems are aligned with a military precision!


Is Ashley Greene's LBD breaking any hearts? No, but I can't take my eyes off her face, so it all works out.


You know what I love most about this pic of MK and Ashley? That they're both carrying briefcases, in case they might need to have an impromptu meeting. Moguls, people.


It's true that Rose Byrne is a special favorite, but come on: this is cool. Would I wear it? Could I wear it? No and no. That's why stars: are nothing like us.


Somehow in the context of this event it would seem strange if Johnny Depp hadn't shown up with Patti Smith as his date, and if they hadn't looked exactly like this. Yes, quizzing glass, hankie and all.


We'd say Helena Bonham Carter had been in one too many Tim Burton movies, but she was always an eccentric, and she's ended up in exactly the right place and, at the end of the day, it's pretty wonderful.


Hamish Bowles (Vogue's European Editor at Large) is one of this town's most reliable and natty dandies.


David and Julia Koch do "artistic socialite." Okay, not him so much.

[Images via Getty]

[New York, November 17. Image via Getty]

NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 17: Creations by artist and film maker Tim Burton on display at the Tim Burton media preview at The Museum of Modern Art on November 17, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Jemal Countess/Getty Images)

• Has Lindsay Lohan turned over a new leaf? She says she's "going to India soon, before Thanksgiving hopefully," to film a BBC documentary on the trafficking of women and children.

• She says her mom is nervous about her trip, but she wants to go because, "I think it's important to have a voice when you have one." [Radar Online]
• Michael Lohan was on the Maury Povich show today trying to reach out to Lindsay. First he insulted her, calling her a "hollow person," then said there is "nothing left in her" and he "couldn't even look at her." He added, "I hate to speak out publicly like this..." As TMZ notes, this episode was called, "You're 14 ... Stop Lap Dancing and Trying to Get Pregnant"? Video here: [TMZ]
• When asked if she's excited that police have caught her alleged burglars, Lindsay said, "[That's] the most awkward question you could possibly ask. Yeah, I'm talking to the detectives, but it's nobody's business but my own." [E!]
• The father of Alexis Neiers, one of the four teenage girls arrested in connection with the recent celebrity burglaries, says, "She was in the wrong place at the wrong time, associating with the wrong people. She got sucked into this. We're standing by her. I'm sure [the case against her is] going to be thrown out of court." [People]
• A source claims Sienna Miller and Judge Law have been going on romantic dinner dates while they're both in New York performing on Broadway. A spokesman confirmed that they have met up, and the source says, "Sienna had her heart broken by Jude, but she was young and it was the first time she'd fallen in love. What people don't realise is that they always remained close, so who knows where this will lead to next." [Ok]
• Kate Gosselin's brother Kevin Kreider, his wife, Jodi Kreider, and attorney Gloria Allred are campaigning for a federal law to protect kids in reality shows. Jodi says the "Balloon Boy" story "makes it very clear that parents and people will do whatever they can do get on a reality show, kind of thinking that's a great way for quick fame." [CBS News]
• More weird Heene footage: in a video from about 10 years ago, Richard Heene tries to shove a cigar into his infant son Bradford's mouth so he can take a picture of him "smoking" and holding a beer bottle as Mayumi protests in the background. [TMZ]
• Lady Gaga says that when Beyonce called her and asked if she wanted to be in her video for "Video Phone" she said, "'What do you want to do?' And I'm like, 'I don't want to show up in some frickin' hair bow and be fashion Gaga in your video.' I said, 'I want to do you.'" She added, "I want to do my version of Beyoncé... So the whole time I was learning the choreography they were calling me Gee-yoncé." [MTV]
• Picewell Forbes publicly apologized for causing a mistrial in the John Travolta case. He didn't say who told him Pleasant Bridgewater had been acquitted but said, "My statements were reckless and interfered with the course of justice in that case and were further capable of bringing disrepute to the whole administration of justice." [AP]
• Michael Jackson's kids are having their own private screening of This Is It tonight. [TMZ]
• The Ali Forney Center, the nation's largest organization for homeless LGBT youth, has received a gift of $300,000 today from Bea Arthur's estate. The organization plans to buy a building to house 12 children whose families have thrown them out for being gay and name it in her honor. [Towleroad]
• Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner went right back to work after their wedding on Sunday, but they are planning a honeymoon in Africa for December. [People]
• Madonna and her four kids visited the orphanage in Malawi where her son David lived before she adopted him. [AP]
• Akon jumped off the stage and into the crown during a Melbourne concert last night to break up a fight. His promoter says, "The thing that I saw, and I was standing right next to him … He walked to a girl (involved in a fight) and walked to her and held her face and said, ‘You're better than that.'" [The Australian]
• Joe Francis is suing Brody Jenner and his girlfriend Jayde Nicole for battery, assault, negligence, slander, libel and false light. He claims that he only pulled Nicole's hair during their bar altercation in "self-defense" because she hit him in the head, threw a drink at him, and yelled "I'm going to kill you!" for no reason. [TMZ]
• The DA will not file charges against Joe Francis, Brody Jenner, or Jayde Nicole for their bar brawl. The D.A.'s report supports Francis' claim that the surveillance video shows that Jayde "appears to have acted without immediate provocation." Doesn't Girls Gone Wild count as provocation? [TMZ]
• Willem Dafoe says Tim Burton talked to him about playing The Joker in Batman, but he turned the role down and it went to Jack Nicholson. [Daily Express]
• At the link, Lost executive producer Damon Lindelof answers questions about the show's final season. [USA Today]
• On Thursday, Ante Up For Africa, a charity founded by Don Cheadle, is holding its second annual celebrity poker tournament to raise money to bring peace to Sudan. [CNN]
• Uh, wow. Author Martin Amis says he doesn't understand the fascination with Jordan because, "She has no waist, no arse ... an interesting face ... but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone." [The Telegraph]
• According to the Jonas Brothers' mom, Denise Jonas, "Nick is working on a solo act—it's called Nick Jonas and The Administration. Shhh! He's at the photo shoot for the album cover right now." [Parade]
• Taylor Lautner says he was motivated by "the movie and the fans," to put on 30 pounds of muscle for New Moon. "But I don't want to become known as just a body... If I had to choose, I would never take my shirt off again in a movie, but I guess that's not very realistic. I certainly won't be asking to do it, though." [People]
• "I'm always going to miss Oasis. It was my fucking thing, you know what I mean? It's who I am. But it's only a name," says Liam Gallagher. "Getting away from the whole Oasis thing is going to be a good thing I suppose. I don't want to do anything solo. I want to be in a band. But we can do things a lot differently these days. It'll definitely be rock 'n' roll." [The Sun]
• Mary-Louise Parker says adopting her 3-year-old daughter Caroline Aberash in 2007 was the "best decision I've ever made. She says, 'I love you, Mommy' and asks, 'Do you love me so much? She has a little bit of a speech delay; Amharic was her first language she heard. But she's really indomitable. She's really strong and she's like a little warrior. She's really amazing." [People]
• Q: What advice did your mom give you about dressing? Jane Lynch: "I like to wear my pajama bottoms and sweatshirts out to get coffee in the morning. She said to always dress like someone is going to take your picture, and every day is an opportunity to make an impression." [N.Y. Magazine]
• In a phone interview Tank Jones, Levi Johnston's manager, said of Levi posing for Playgirl, "He's pumped! He's ready to shock the world. The hell with fifteen minutes... As a matter of fact, when I picked him up, he came out the house naked. I said 'not now!'" Then Levi took the phone and said, "I just get naked. That's what I do." [Us]

• Lady Gaga was booed by her British fans yesterday after showing up 20 minutes late to her performance and then having to cut her set short as a result. Maybe they were just saying boo-urns? [TheSun]

• The singer's set was cut short in the middle of her performance of "Pokerface," and though she tried to win the crowd back by adding little shoutouts to England during the song ("I always have pies, chips and mushy peas when I'm here..."), the crowd still booed when the song was cut short. [NME]
• Gaga took to her Twitter to apologize for the performance: "Stage manager pulled the plug because I was 5 minutes over my time at V fest. Show was incredible. Ashame people have no respect for music," she wrote, "My fans were lovely and really deserved to hear pokerface. I love you and I'm sorry. X" [ONTD]
• Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale threw a birthday party for their son, Zuma Nesta Rock, who turned one on Friday. "I'm the chef, and Gwen's more of the party planner," Gavin says, "She takes care of the presents and the guests. I just love to cook for everyone." [E!]
• Anna Paquin says she doesn't mind showing her breasts during sex scenes on True Blood, as it's more realistic that way: "It's like, I'm sorry, maybe there are a lot of women who keep their bras on while they have sex," Paquin says, "I don't happen to be one of them." [ShowbizSpy]
• Hugh Hefner is being sued by his estranged wife, Kimberly Conrad, who claims Hefner owes her close to 5 million dollars. [TMZ]
• Courtney Love is also being sued, by a woman who claims that Love defamed her on the internet, calling her a prostitute and a drug addict. Love claims that she wasn't defaming the woman- she was simply repeating things the woman had told her. [TMZ]
• "I don't ever feel sexy in small clothes. I always feel really insecure. I don't like wearing make-up. And if I have clean hair and a clean face, I'm more confident because I don't feel like I'm speaking behind a mask. The attention, that other people are telling you that you are beautiful, only feeds insecurities and sort of makes it unbearable."- Megan Fox [ShowbizSpy]
• Brody Jenner spent his 26th birthday in the hospital after having his appendix removed. [People]
• "Tough to say. I generally pass out on the couch watching TV and then am startled awake by those commercials for computer-education software with the bald guy who begs you to "try his DVDs."- Wyatt Cenac on his bedtime. [NYMag]
• Milla Jovovich married director Paul W.S. Anderson in Beverly Hills yesterday; the bride wore a "60s style mini-dress." [People]
• Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise allegedly had a hand in designing the new uniforms for the Church of Scientology: "The scarlet-lined black capes with skirt and trouser suits are almost identical to the sort of clothes favoured by Tom and Katie, if a little more vampire-themed," says a source, "They gave the new designs the thumbs-up, along with church leader David Miscavige who had overall approval." [DailyMail]
• Johnny Depp is set to play "lovelorn vampire Barnabas Collins" in a planned three film franchise based on the 60s cult show Dark Shadows. Tim Burton, naturally, is set to direct. [DailyExpress]
• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are reportedly getting ready to spend 45 million dollars on a "love nest" in France. "They want to make sure this very romantic property becomes the love nest of all love nests," says a source, "Brad is looking into local schools for the kids, and both he and Angelina are improving their French." [ShowbizSpy]
• "My stylist tries to find things that are not maternity clothes, so I've been wearing a lot from The Row, by Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. I love their clothes," said Klum. "Marc Jacobs too. You just buy things in a size 10 – when you're doing a show on fashion, you still have to bring it on."-Heidi Klum, bringing us the headdesk quote of the day. [ShowbizSpy]
• Actress Amy Landecker, who is starring in an upcoming Coen Brothers film, set in 1967, had to get a special wig made for her full-frontal nude scene in order to match the times: ""I guess women back then didn't do the whole Brazilian thing, so they had to get a wig for me made," she says, "I was a little self-conscious because I thought the wig was too big, but so long as everyone knows it's not mine, that's OK." [PageSix]
• Oasis were forced to pull out of their headlining gig at the V festival tonight after Liam Gallagher lost his voice. [TheSun]
• "Orestes [Arcuni], the young man who played the bellboy, was fantastic — he was really, really good. He's straight, and I told him, 'Close your eyes and just pretend I'm Christie Brinkley.'"-Mad Men's Bryan Batt, who plays Salvatore Romano, on his sex scene in the season premiere. [PageSix]
• Amy Winehouse's mother, Janis, says there's no way her daughter is getting back together with estranged husband Blake Fielder-Civil: "He's bad news. As far as we're concerned the divorce is still going ahead at the end of the month." [Mirror]
• "Life couldn't be better, even if I was standing on that beach out there. I'm so good I almost need another one of me to be any better."-Ashton Kutcher [ShowbizSpy]
• "[I've shot] a lot of time with John. We have a really good relationship. I'm so glad that they're showing two people of color with, like, a really ... loving and nurturing relationship. I haven't really seen that on TV, and certainly not in an interracial relationship, very loving and sweet in a genuine sort of way."-Gabrielle Union on her onscreen relationship with John Cho in the upcoming series Flash Forward. [SciFiWire]
• Canadian police have intensified their manhunt for murder suspect and former Vh1 reality contestant Ryan Jenkins. [Yahoo]
• "I think about Bogey a lot, but I don't say, ‘Oh I wish…' I don't think that way. If you live that way, you lose today, and I feel that today is very important. It's the only thing that matters, really. Just to see if you are going to make it to tomorrow."-Lauren Bacall [ONTD]

• A source claims that Jude Law, who, as Dodai mentioned yesterday, is currently caught up in another scandal involving a 24-year-old model who is carrying his fourth child, gets into such situations because he's seeking validation about his looks. [DailyMail]

• "It's actually embarrassing how much validation Jude needs about his looks. He is constantly looking in the mirror at his bald patch and always needs to be told he looks okay," says a source, "We all laugh about how he will bed anyone young who flatters him. This particular affair is just another case of some woman saying how handsome he is. He simply can't resist." [DailyMail]
• Samantha Burke, the mother of Law's child, released a statement via her lawyers about her pregnancy yesterday: "Samantha, her mom, and her family can affirm that Jude has been responsive and supportive throughout the relationship and pregnancy, and know that he will remain so as a father once Baby Sophia is born." [People]
• Law is reportedly afraid that Burke will release intimate photographs she took while the couple were together during Law's time filming Sherlock Holmes in New York City: "Samantha was totally smitten with Jude and enjoyed photographing him hugely. It was a passionate fling and there was a real animal attraction," says a source, "He's been ashen with anxiety, especially because he's putting his loved ones through more stress." [DailyMail]
• "They are just really special creatures and highly evolved. To tell you the truth, I'm convinced I was a dolphin in another life and that's why I'm so attracted to them."-Drew Barrymore [ShowbizSpy]
• Jaime Pressly is engaged to lawyer Simran Singh. Pressly split from Eric Calvo, her former fiance and father of her 2-year-old son, Dezi, last November. [People]
• Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt are apparently back together. "They are definitely happy again," says a source. [USWeekly]
• Tim Burton doesn't understand why parents won't let their children see his films: "I don't know why adults keep fighting that," Burton says, "They keep fighting the fairy tales that have been told since the beginning of mankind. They're fighting Pinocchio. They forget what it's like to be kids. Kids like to be scared. Most great children's literature is politically incorrect, so I don't know why they can't get used to it by now." [DailyExpress]
• "People who project negativity ultimately are crying out for their own broken souls. Trying to save a hater is like trying to teach astrophysics to a wino! LOL Chuuuuch!" -Nick Cannon on Twitter, in response to Eminem's "diss track," about Mariah Carey [E!]
• "I went to a lot of therapy. I talked my head off and pounded enough pillows and confronted enough ghosts. I didn't avoid the feelings of what my childhood was. I went right into them and went as deeply as I could." She does seem remarkably free of anger or bitterness, at this point, at least. "I think people saw how hard it was for me. It's what makes me the artist that I am, it's my bag of sorrow, of human tragedy that I've lived through, and I go to this well every single time I create a character. But that no longer dictates my daily life."- Anne Heche on the difficult period she went through following her split from Ellen DeGeneres [NYTimes]
• When faced with paparazzi or swine flu, James Spader chose...swine flu? "I'm a bit phobic... I told him (the doctor), 'You should be shutting down the whole street!' So I go out, I flee the building, I'm standing outside and there are the paparazzi snapping photos and video. I can't go anywhere, there's no car, so I'm faced with that dilemma: the paparazzi or go back in the building with the swine flu. I went back in the building." [DailyExpress]
• "My problem with women is I love them all, really. If I see a woman who is sweet and innocent, I fall in love with her, I want to hug her and take care of her and all that lovely stuff. Then I see this sex-kitten type walking past me and I think, ‘Wow! That's my woman!' I appreciate women for all sorts of reasons and it can get complicated."- Gerard Butler on his "complicated" reasons for loving women. [ShowbizSpy]
• Salma Hayek is allegedly angry that Jennifer Aniston received an Emmy nomination for her stint on 30 Rock while Hayek didn't. "Salma was angry and swearing in Spanish when the news broke," says a source, "It's not that she isn't happy for Jen, but she feels her own work was as good if not better. They just gave Jen a nomination for the press. They should be ashamed!" [ShowbizSpy]
• When Ashton Kutcher was first starting out in Hollywood, he bought a ton of fake designer clothing to convince his family back home that he was doing well: "I was broke, really running out of money. I knew I had to go home for the holidays, but I couldn't expose the fact that it wasn't going well," Kutcher says, "So I bought my whole family these fake watches and fake Versace pants and fake anything I could find, like fake Calvin Klein T-shirts, so I could . . . show them how well I was doing even though I didn't have a place to live." [NYPost]
• Dustin "Screech Powers" Diamond currently owes $21,015.62 in unpaid taxes. Maybe he should start selling Screech's Secret Sauce? [TMZ]
• "Is "asks" even a word? If not, sorry 4 my layziness with grammar."- Jessica Simpson via Twitter. [ONTD]
• Renee Zellweger was spotted buying Yves Saint Laurent knockoffs. [PageSix]
• AskMen.com will be banning all Megan Fox news on August 4. ""You can have too much of a good thing," says editor James Bassil, "We're giving our readers a one-day reprieve from the woman we've been drowning in all summer." [TheSun]
• "Fucking redneck douchebaggery. Unmitigated douchebaggery. Why are they holding signs that say, 'Whatchoo talking about, Willis?' These people are called 'racially sensitive', what they should be called is racist, backward motherfuckers."-Janeane Garofalo on the Teabaggers. [Guardian]

• Have mercy. Will Lauren Conrad's L.A. Candy be turned into a film? That would mean a movie based on a book based on reality show based on someone's life. LC says:

"We're hoping for a movie deal. I'm working on [adapting the book for the movies] right now, but I don't want to commit to anything until I see all my options." [Gatecrasher]

• Here's an article devoted to dissecting, mocking and nitpicking Madonna's "stringy" arms. [NY Daily News]
• Old love letters Madonna wrote are up for auction; she refers to herself as "Lil' Booty" and "Lola Montez" in honor of a famous mistress of King Ludwig I of Bavaria. Yeah. [Page Six]
• Oh Kate Major. One day you're a reporter for Star magazine, the next you're "dating" Jon Gosselin; and now you're being accused of having a former life as a high-priced call girl. [Extra]
• Would you watch a Jon Gosselin reality show? No Kate or plus 8 — just the Ed Hardy-wearing bachelor doing… stuff? [E!]
• A stylist who worked with Mischa Barton on the set of The O.C. says the actress developed an alcohol problem in her teens. "Mischa has been drinking since she was about 14, and she doesn't drink to have fun any more - she drinks not to feel anything…It was just a matter of time before she hit rock bottom." [The Sun]
• Mischa Barton is out of the hospital and "has every intention" of rejoining the Ashton Kutcher-produced CW drama The Beautiful Life when it resumes production in a few weeks. [E!]
• "Amy Winehouse 'Stole Cocaine From Kate Moss's Handbag.'" So says Blake Formerly Incarcerated, who seems to be spilling all kinds of tales now that he and Amy are divorced. Anyways, that was then. [Daily Mail]
• Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart stayed in the same hotel, on the same floor, in San Diego Wednesday night before Comic-Con. ZOMG true love! Twilight is real! [E!]
• George Clooney is being linked to Elisabetta Canalis, who hosts the Italian version of MTV's TRL. [Daily Express]
• Hold on to your ovaries: Jon Hamm vacation pictures. [Best Week Ever]
• Speaking of Jon Hamm, he'll star with Ben Affleck in The Town, a flick about a a bank robber who becomes smitten with the teller of a bank he held up. Hamm plays an FBI agent. [Variety]
• There were rumors that John Travolta was leaving the Church of Scientology, but his rep says, somewhat ominously: "There's no change in the relationship between the Church of Scientology and John. He is a member and it's as it was, now and forever." [People]
• On June 25, the day Michael Jackson died, Dr. Conrad Murray gave him the powerful anesthetic propofol through an IV sometime after midnight. [AP, AP]
• "Authorities believe Dr. Murray may have actually fallen asleep during the time the drug was administered and may have awakened to find Jackson already dead from heart failure. An IV drip of Propofol allows a constant, steady infusion of the drug for a period of time determined by the person administering it." [TMZ
• The toxicology report is expected any day now, and will play a role in whether Dr. Conrad Murray is charged with manslaughter. [People]
• "Michael Jackson's children could miss out on a $20 million life insurance payout – because an aide allowed the policy to lapse." [Telegraph]
• Paula Abdul still does not have a deal with American Idol. A source says: "She sees the big money Ryan Seacrest got, she knows that Simon is close to a huge deal, too. She feels like it's personal that she's not getting the same big numbers." Or! Gender gap??? No, but seriously: It's gotta suck to know your coworkers are bringing in millions more than you are. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Meryl Streep and Amy Adams have started the Julie And Julia promotional appearances! [Mirror]
• Kristin Davis has a new man, celebrity photographer Russell James. [People]
• Why did Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush break up? A source says: They never get to see each other, ever." [People]
• Wait, what? "Pink accuses Christina Aguilera of being a lesbian who wants to sleep with Lindsay Lohan." [ONTD]
• Yes! RuPaul's Drag Race Season 2 has its first contestant, and her name is Jessica Wild. Love the accent, and the energy — video at the link. [EW]
• Tobey Maguire's mom, Wendy, and brother, Weston, will be in a reality show called Growing Up Maguire; Weston rides motocross, skateboards and snowboards. [Page Six]
• Mariah Carey, Diddy and Lil Wayne were supposed to release albums this summer, but all have been delayed until September. [Reuters]
• Diddy ate dinner while gazing upon a billboard of himself. [Page Six]
• Elizabeth Mitchell from Lost is also on the new show V, and talks about joining the cast of the new show while still working on the other, and credits fans with keeping her character around. Video at the link. [EW]
• Lucy Lawless has nude scenes in her new Starz show, Spartacus, and in this video asks, "Have you ever been fitted for a merkin?" [EW]
• "A California judge appointed a lawyer Monday to oversee the estate of Nadya Suleman's octuplets, saying he wanted to ensure they weren't exploited by reality television shows, tabloid photo spreads or other paid ventures." [NY Daily News]
• Hitting on Keri Russell when she is with her kid doesn't impress Keri Russell. [Page Six]
• Dubliners took to the street and protested U2's noisy all-night stage dismantling, which caused the band's trucks to miss their ferry, which affected the tour schedule. [AP]
• Sir Sean Connery may come out of retirement to narrate a film about former servicemen involved in nuclear testing on Christmas Island in the Indian Ocean. [Daily Express]
• Dominic West is in a new film with "Bond girl" Olga Kurylenko and says: "I thought I was going to get involved in a mud wrestle with her, but, in the end, she had a 12-foot spear, so I didn't really get anywhere near her." [Telegraph]
• Uh-oh, Chris Tucker owes over $3 million in back taxes. Where has he been lately, anyway? [TMZ]
• Want Joan Rivers roast jokes? Get 'em here. A sample: "You're like Robo-Cop, you're half-human and nobody's given a shit about you since 1986." [Page Six]
• "Peter Andre has hinted that his estranged wife Jordan had a miscarriage with their baby due to excessive boozing during her pregnancy." [The Sun]
• "I love sickos. Dennis Nilsen, Fred and Rose West, Ted Bundy — I'm obsessed. I've always been into that kind of stuff — real cut-up, blood and gore murders." — Katie "Jordan" Price. [The Sun]
• "Pete dumped me by phone," Katie Price claims. [The Sun]
• "The Broadcasting Complaints Commission has upheld a complaint against RTÉ for allowing actor Gabriel Byrne to endorse Dublin City Council election candidate Mannix Flynn on the Late Late Show one week before the poll." [Irish Times]
• "Quentin got the Jewish director to do the Nazi propaganda film. [And] I thought I'd never do anything more disgusting than Hostel II." — Eli Roth on his Inglourious Basterds role. [Page Six]
• "We have a horrendous row within days of being reunited because it's annoying to have someone else telling you what to do and then we get over that and we are really happy." — Helen Mirren on her marriage to Taylor Hackford, whom she is often away from for months at a time. [Daily Express]
• "It's a lot different from anything I've done before. It's not a pop-rock record. This is more about emotion and feeling." — Avril Lavigne on her new album. [Reuters]
• "It's based on all of Lewis Carroll's material, including the 'Jabberwocky Poem.' Past 'Alice' films were always just a girl wandering around passively with a lot of weird characters. We tried to weave it into a story that has emotion to it and makes sense. I've seen many of the different versions of 'Alice' over the years. I know there was a musical porno movie I remember seeing in the '70s. And lots of other different versions." — Tim Burton on his Alice In Wonderland film. [Reuters]
• Q:What does Johnny Depp bring to the Mad Hatter? A: "He likes dressing up. I think with the Alice in Wonderland characters, they've often been portrayed as just crazy without much subtext, and I think he tried to bring something, an underlying human quality to the craziness. He tried to understand it a bit more...We try to give each character their own particular craziness. And he's good at sort of exploring that, I guess because he's crazy. I don't know." — Tim Burton. [Reuters]

• Jennifer Lopez kicked off her 40th birthday on the set of her new film at midnight last night with champagne and a giant chocolate cake...that had a picture of herself on it. J-Lo: Team Cake! Who knew? [USWeekly]

• LeAnn Rimes and her husband, Dean Sheremet, are officially separated, but the relationship isn't over quite yet: ""Le and Dean have been separated for quite some time now, but they're continuing to try and work through their relationship," says a source. [People]
• "I think I'm pretty sexy in it. The movie is SO sexy! You better put on your sexy shoes for this movie!"-Megan Fox, on her sexy role in the sexy movie, Jennifer's Body, which I'm sure will be filled with SexyFace, if nothing else. [USWeekly]</li.
• Amy Winehouse had to miss her grandmother's funeral in order to appear in court, where she was dismissed of assault charges. [DailyExpress]
• Is John Travolta planning on leaving the Church of Scientology? Author Rick Ross thinks so: "There have been strong rumours coming out of Scientology that John Travolta is disappointed that the religion was not able to help his son more," Ross says, "It's led him to question his faith." [DailyMail]
• Robert Pattinson is reportedly a bit of a jerk on the set: "I don't know what the guy's problem is," says a source, "He goes from his trailer to the shoot and completely ignores all the fans who have been waiting around to see him. It's so obnoxious." Uh, maybe because the fans are crazy and want him to bite their necks? [ShowbizSpy]
• Kirstie Alley was so obsessed with Spock when she was younger that she used to "sleep with her Vulcan ears." [PageSix]
• "Someone said to me that guys are trying to copy my hairstyle, but to be honest, this hairstyle is derived from laziness. I wake up and go - that's it. There's no product in it, nothing. If you really want your hair to look good, just don't wash it for a day. That's my secret." [ShowbizSpy]
• Lindsay Lohan showed up at a Hollywood milkshake shop at 1:30 in the morning in order to promote her own milkshake. Oh, dear. [PageSix]
• Jon Gosselin thinks the world wants to watch him in his own reality show: ""Jon has a lot of things going on now with his career," says a source, "Of course his main concern is his children, but he is focusing on his private and his professional life. He is looking into some major international endorsement deals and it looks like he is going to have his own show." [E!]
• Blind Item:"This Blind comes from a reader who told us about the time they got to hang out last summer with a certain Reality TV hottie. Our reader says the guy was lots of fun, and very cute and liked to party! They did say that they stopped hanging out with him when they realized how racist he was. According to the reader, he said the ‘N' word all the time and was constantly making racist jokes. His entourage would laugh and encourage him. Not so classy after all. This confirms from another source what we've already heard before about this guy. Not Spencer Pratt." [BlindGossip]
• Gary Oldman let it slip at Comic Con that the next Batman film should hit theaters in 2011: ""We start filming the next 'Batman' next year, which means it won't come out for another two years," Oldman said, "but you didn't hear that from me." [Reuters]
• Ashton Kutcher, the executive producer of Mischa Barton's new show, The Beautiful Life, says that Barton is "doing great." [Reuters]
• Paris Hilton claims that she was the inspiration behind Michael Jackson naming his own daughter Paris: "So I grew up knowing Michael very well and when he had his daughter, he always loved the name Paris and grew up being an uncle to me," Hilton says, "So he asked my mom if it was okay and, of course, she said yes." [TheSun]
• Nadya Suleman has signed a deal that will pay each of her 14 children $250 a day for appearing in their own reality show. Because it worked out soooooo well for Jon and Kate! [Yahoo]
• Ooh- here's a clip of Peter Jackson discussing "The Hobbit" at Comic Con. [EW]
• "He likes dressing up. I think with the "Alice in Wonderland" characters, they've often been portrayed as just crazy without much subtext, and I think he tried to bring something, an underlying human quality to the craziness. He tried to understand it a bit more...We try to give each character their own particular craziness. And he's good at sort of exploring that, I guess because he's crazy. I don't know."- Tim Burton on Johnny Depp's Mad Hatter. [Yahoo]
• Shia LaBeouf is breaking all kinds of laws, riding around on his scooter without a helmet. At least he's not talking about his mom again? [TMZ]

[London, September 29. Image via Splash.]

• Ellen DeGeneres has come out against Proposition 8 on her blog. She says: "It’s called, 'The California Marriage Protection Act' — but don’t let the name fool you. It’s not protecting anyone’s marriage. Not yours. Not mine." She continues: "Please VOTE NO on Proposition 8. And now that you’re informed, spread the word. I’m begging you. I can’t return the wedding gifts — I love my new toaster." [People]
• Steven Spielberg and wife Kate Capshaw have matched Brad Pitt's $100,000 donation to fight Proposition 8. [The Campaign Silo]
• Trouble in paradise for Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt? Apparently she was peeved that he took a bunch of trips after she gave birth to the twins, so she threatened to leave him. Everything is probably fine, but what if they did break up? So sad. And what a freakin mess. [The Sun]
• Yes, Clay Aiken is gay. Also! The sky is blue. [Page Six]
• Did Kate Moss break up with Jamie Hince because he didn't want to father a child for her? Seems like she wants another kid and he's afraid to commit to that, since he's always touring with his band. Anyway: Looks like they might be patching things up. [The Sun]

• Even though Travis Barker is mourning the death of two close friends and suffering from severe burns, a friend says he is "trying to stay upbeat." [People]
• We've heard this before but: Britney is selling her house. [UPI]
• The latest exchange between Lindsay and Michael Lohan: She says, "My father obviously needs to be on medication to control his moods. He is out of line and his words show how much anger he has, and it's dangerous and scary as it reminds me of how he treated my mother and I my whole childhood. He needs to be stopped. This is yet another reason why we aren't speaking." [Page Six]
• This is great: "If you don't want to get photographed topless wearing a mermaid costume, don't go to P. Diddy's star-studded White Party topless wearing a mermaid costume." The chick in the starfish pasties actually tried to sue Diddy after her picture was printed in Vibe magazine with the caption "Mermaids Gone Wild." [NY Post]
• Shannen Doherty is speaking out about the skinny stars on 90210: "I see those girls and they eat on the set, so I'm pretty sure they're not starving themselves," she claims. "I don't really think it's some magazine's obligation to put these girls on the cover and point fingers at them. Either way, they need to leave them alone." [Yahoo News]
• Nicole Kidman says the water in the outback while filming Australia got her pregnant. "Seven babies were conceived out of this film and only one was a boy. There is something up there in the Kununurra water because we all went swimming in the waterfalls, so we can call it the fertility waters now." [News.com.au]
• Ronnie Dunn from Brooks & Dunn says Nicole and Keith will find living in Nashville "peaceful." [People]
• Kirsten Dunst and Justin "I'm A Mac" Long: Splitsville. [Perez Hilton]
• More trouble for Anne Hathaway's ex-boyfriend: Raffaello Follieri has been accused by a Roman Catholic priest of bamboozling him out of $110,000. Holy crap. [E!]
• Ugly Betty's Ana Ortiz was in a romantic relationship that turned physically abusive when she was in her 20s. But! She uses her pain to play Betty's sister Hilda. [USA Today]
• How times have changed: Back in 2005, the ladies of Desperate Housewives had a tense, catty photo shoot for the cover of Vanity Fair. Now, the actresses are on the new issue of TV Guide. Not only did the shoot go smoothly, but the show approached the magazine for publicity, instead of the other way around. [MSNBC]
• Jude Law was spotted among the protesters gathered near the United Nations earlier this week. Research for a film? Or was he trying to get a glimpse of Sarah Palin? [MSNBC]
• Christian Slater spills all to GQ: He talks about getting drunk at 9 years old and the infamous 1989 incident in which he led police on an alcohol-induced car chase through West Hollywood, eventually crashing into a telephone pole and kicking the cops who came to arrest him. The charges included assault with a deadly weapon—his cowboy boots. [News.com.au]
• Diane Lane: Quitting acting? She says: "I can't do anything official. My agents won't let me. Between you and me, I don't have anything else coming out, and I'm just gonna be taking my kids to driving school and making sure they don't cause any trainwrecks with their texting." [Daily Express]
• The Oasis comeback show is canceled; Noel Gallagher needs more time to recover from broken ribs received when a "nutter" attacked him on stage in Canada. [The Sun]
• Socialite Olivia Palermo will be on Whitney Port's new show, The City. Thank Zeus someone who actually knows New York is involved. [Page Six]
• Megan Fox gave an interview to GQ in which she talked about being in a same-sex relationship with a stripper named Nikita. Her mom says: "I love my daughter dearly. But Megan is, well, Megan. I know she has a good sense of humor, and I take this interview in that context." [Perez Hilton]
• Size doesn't matter: Verne "Mini-Me" Troyer has a new girlfriend, a model named Dominique. [Perez Hilton]
• Michael Jackson wants his new album to be amazing, so he's hired Ne-Yo to write some songs. Ne-Yo's written for Beyoncé and Rihanna and says: "Michael is very nervous as he knows he's the underdog and people want him to fail." Not fail! But not scare us with pure creepiness. [Mirror]
• Uh-oh. Quincy Jones is not involved with Michael Jackson's new album. Big mistake. [Fox 411]
• Kanye West and 50 Cent are releasing albums in December — only a week apart. Last year, they both dropped CDs on the same day and Kanye sold more. Who will emerge victorious this time? [Mirror]
• Boy George to George Michael: "Get away from your drug problems and get yourself clean." In other words, do you really want to hurt me you? [Mirror]
• Tim Burton's ex, Lisa Marie, won't be getting more of Tim Burton's money. [Breitbart]
• Rapper DMX missed a court date because he was hospitalized. And he might have been in the hospital due to "fear of stroke." No, really. [Reuters]
• More rumors that Hugh Hefner's "girlfriends" are hooking up with other people. [Page Six]
• "Whenever the Jonas Brothers come on TV, I freak out, because they're so cute." — Jennie Garth on GlamourTV. [Page Six]
• "It's a very screwed-up family. If you want to be emotionally healthy and strong, you've got to get out. It's a truly sad situation." — Griffin O'Neal, Ryan O'Neal's son (not the one who got arrested recently.) Griffin has Melorheostosis, a rare bone disease which may necessitate amputation of his left leg. [People]
• "I want to call our baby Midnight or 411. I really like information, and being a night owl, it's a good fit." — Will Arnett on his upcoming kid with Amy Poehler. [Rush & Molloy]

• Apparently the DEA's massive investigation into Heath Ledger's death is unprecedented. Is this case "special" because of Heath's fame? [TMZ]
• The case is now closed, with Mary-Kate Olsen off the hook. [TMZ, Reuters, USA Today, People]
• Morgan Freeman, 71, is still in the hospital after his car wreck a week ago, and, as has been previously reported, has announced he's divorcing his wife of 24 years. They've been separated since December and have no kids. The woman in the car accident was Demaris Meyer, 48, a "friend." [Page Six]
• George Clooney is on vacation with Cindy Crawford, her husband and kids. They're all on a boat in the Mediterranean and I'm not. [People]

• The body of a woman — who had been missing since attending Lil' Kim's birthday party on Sunday night — was found yesterday in a closet on the roof of the party location, a New York club called Spotlight Live. [TMZ]
• Nicole Kidman says baby Sunday "looks like Keith." Hopefully the kid doesn't have the frosted, flat-ironed hair, though. Or stubble. [People]
• Oh. Sunday's hair has a "reddish tinge." [News.com.au]
• Star mag reported that Shia LaBeouf is in danger having his pinky finger amputated; apparently it is a "completely fabricated story." [E!]
• Despite previous reports, Britney Spears will not, repeat, NOT, be playing a killer lesbian stripper in Quentin Tarantino's remake of Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!. Damn. [PopDirt]
• Some spin control re: Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty: When they met he was already separated from his wife; his mother likes Sienna; he sees his kids but is not trying to get back with his wife. As for Sienna, a source says, "There's no way she would ever get involved with another married man after Jude Law." Sigh. [The Sun]
• A "spurned mistress" who recalls the day she realized her lover would never leave his wife says, "I know how Sienna feels." [Daily Mail]
• Neil Patrick Harris on Anderson Cooper: "He's dreamy. Just dreamy." Anderson Cooper: "I'll have to start watching Neil's show." Hee! [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
• Beverly Johnson, the world's first black supermodel, is going on Tyra's talk show to discuss the modeling industry, race, age and weight. More black models in the spotlight! Please. [Page Six]
• Here's how you know it's a slow gossip day: Lily Allen yawned in front of her grandpa. And it's news. [The Sun]
• Jenna Jameson: Using lip collagen while pregnant. Not a good idea. [Awful Plastic Surgery]
• Martin Bashir, the dude who interviewed Michael Jackson and Princes Di, went to the Asian American Journalists Association convention last month. In his keynote speech Bashir said, "I'm happy to be in the midst of so many Asian babes. In fact, I'm happy that the podium covers me from the waist down." He was booed. [Rush & Molloy]
• Seth Rogen says Pineapple Express is not a pot movie. "I think this is just a movie about guys who smoke weed." [Rush & Molloy]
• Peter Berg was a passenger in a Cadillac back in 2006 when the car allegedly hit a golf cart. The driver of the golf cart was killed; Berg is now being sued. Berg is an actor-turned-director whom you may have seen in Alias, Chicago Hope or Smokin' Aces. [TMZ]
• Usher's mom is once again his manager. Lackluster album sales could be the reason he dumped famed manager Benny Medina. Then again, do people buy records anymore? [People]
• Kate Moss swapped lives for a day with her daughter's nanny, as a gift for the nanny's 60th birthday. The nanny had a champagne breakfast, was taken out on a yacht and "lavished with gifts." By the by, the nanny — Mary Davidson — is Sadie Frost's mom. [The Sun]
• Did Paris Hilton memorize her lines for that FunnyOrDie video? Some say cue cards were not used; a source says "She couldn’t recite her address without a Teleprompter." [MSNBC]
• John Mayer made an onstage joke about "dream cheating," in which you make out with someone who is not your girlfriend in your dreams. Jennifer Aniston: Not amused. [MSNBC]
• Word is it takes $10,000 a month to look as good as Jennifer Aniston does. [The Sun]
• Joss Stone headbutted her brother in church. A baptism turned into a brawl when Joss was 30 minutes late. Jesus! [Mirror]
• A judge has dismissed a woman's wrongful termination claims against Bob Barker, former host of Price Is Right. This could be the moment for a "Price is wrong, bitch" joke but probably not. [Reuters]
• In a survey of 1,000 Londoners, 48% said they're sick of hearing news about Amy Winehouse. It would be awesome to hear that she's pulled it together, though. [Perez Hilton]
• Lisa Marie, Tim Burton's ex-fiancée, was suing the director, claiming he offered her cash to walk away from their relationship. The California Court of Appeal has dismissed the case. [TMZ]
• Speaking of Tim Burton, Johnny Depp has been cast as the Mad Hatter in Burton's version of Alice In Wonderland. [ONTD]
• A California hip-hop label is suing Mary J. Blige and her producer for stealing tunes. No more drama! [NY Post]
• Betty White explains why she and the other Golden Girls didn't go to Estelle Getty's funeral: "We were with Estelle when it mattered. Paul, her wonderful caretaker, knew I wasn't going to her funeral. Funerals are about [journalism]… who was there and who wasn't? That's not about Estelle. We adored her. To tell you the truth, her passing is tough on us, but it's a blessing for her. She's been so ill for so long, she's in a better place now, wherever she is." [ET]
• "I'm such a work in progress at the moment, it's crazy, and life wants me on edge, I swear to you. But as long as I don't forget the past, I'm cool. One must always be mindful, just like you might forget that old girlfriend who tried to slit your throat, but she's really still hot. If you remember the stitches more than you remember the pussy, you're going to be just fine." — Robert Downey Jr. in Rolling Stone. [E!]

[London, March 19. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Will Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson tie the knot? ScarJo was seen at the Monique Lhuillier boutique in L.A. looking at wedding dresses. Hey, isn't she engaged to Barack Obama? [Page Six]
  
• Amy Winehouse won five Grammys last night, including record of the year, song of the year and best new artist. Woo hoo! [People]
  
• Keith Richards on Amy Winehouse: "She should get her act together." Hello, pot? This is kettle... [Reuters]
  
• Meanwhile, Amy Winehouse's husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, told Amy he attempted to hang himself in his jail cell — but it never happened. Says a source, "He wants to pile on the guilt so she can't leave him. He's utterly controlling, even when behind bars." [The Sun]

• Writers and producers have reached an agreement which should end the writers' strike by next week; expect the Oscars to move forward! With jokes penned by Jon Stewart! [People]
• Sam Lutfi, who still has not received a restraining order filed by Britney's father — because the servers can never find him — was seen in the VIP lounge at L.A. club Area where Paris Hilton was celebrating her birthday. WTF. [E!]
• Lindsay Lohan reportedly pointed to Paris Hilton at a pre-Grammy bash and said: "What the hell is that bitch doing here? I didn't know she was on the list." Paris replied, "Fuck off you bitch." OMG catfight! [Mirror]
• Rob Lowe is writing an "anecdotal, good-natured memoir." 1988 sex tape details? Anyone? [Crain's]
• Michelle Williams and other mourners at Heath Ledger's funeral walked into the ocean for a quick plunge as a way of saying goodbye to Heath. [People]
• Tim Burton and his ex, Lisa Marie, are going to court: She claims there was a conspiracy against her getting her fair share of his assets after they broke up. Burton dumped Marie for Helena Bonham Carter while they were shooting Planet Of The Apes. Messy business. [E!]
• Justin Chambers, who checked in and out of the psych ward at UCLA Medical Center, is reportedly doing "just fine." The Grey's star suffers from a sleeping disorder and entered the hospital because he was exhausted. [People]
• Britney's business manager is being fired and her divorce attorney has asked the court permission to drop her as a client. Hopefully this stuff will get untangled soon. [People]
• Cameron Diaz and Ellen Pompeo are interested in the same $5.5 million NYC apartment, boofuckinghoo. [Page Six]
• David Beckham attended a pre-Grammy party in Hollywood, where he kissed a fan who proceeded to faint. Bex "just said 'Get her some water. She'll be OK.'" Guess it happens all the time. [People]
• The Paul McCartney/Heather Mills divorce payout could break the UK record of £48 million. Which would buy quite a few prosthetic legs. [Guardian]
• Porn star Michael Lucas posed for pictures with Victoria Beckham and reports that Posh's complexion is terrible. "Her skin is yellow with big pores," he says. "Each pore you could fit a big [piece of] caviar in." [The Cut]
• The Information Minister of Malawi says Madonna has done so much for the country she should not be denied rights to be a parent to her son David Banda — or "many more Malawian children." [Reuters]
• R.I.P. Roy Scheider, star of Jaws and All That Jazz. [UPI]

There's no pretence with us, you see....'Well, [Burton] was all [during the making of Sweeney]: (growls) How difficult is it to come through the door and cover that spot!' And I'd be (whines): 'I've got wool in my head because I'm fucking pregnant, and there's blood everywhere and I didn't see it, all right?' And all I get is: "Action!"

We haven't got a passageway [connecting the two homes] - we've just got a room ...between the two. And to me it makes complete sense: if you've got some money, and you can afford it, why not have your own space? It really is a great idea. You never have to compromise emotionally or feel invaded....I'm surprised when people find it weird, to be honest. It's not even that separate, really - it just looks like a quite big, strange house. And there's a sense of choice about things - you see each other when you want to.

Drop Dead Gorgeous [Guardian UK]

• Britney Spears found out that her 16-year-old sister Jamie Lynn was pregnant when everybody else did... Last night as the new issue of OK! was dropping. She was said to be "frantic" when she heard. [TMZ]
  
• Then Brit told a group of photographers and fans, "My sister's not pregnant." [TMZ]
  
• Then she issued a statement: "Britney is aware of the news regarding Jamie Lynn's pregnancy. She wishes her sister nothing but the best and asks for privacy during this time." She can ask, but she's not gonna get it. [Perez Hilton]
  
• Oh, and Lynne Spears' book on parenting is being delayed. Good idea! [People]

• But anyway, a source says "Jamie Lynn was the family's big hope. With Britney, one minute you're in, the next you're out. Brit had been supporting her family for years, and now all eyes were on Jamie Lynn." No pressure! Also, JL met her babydaddy in church. They must have been so into each other that they skipped some important sermons. [MSNBC]
• Lily Allen is also preggers! The 22-year-old found out she was expecting last month, but just told her family. The dad is 37-year-old boyfriend Ed Simons from the Chemical Brothers. Sources say Lily is "thrilled." [The Sun]
• But yeah, Lily will have to quit smoking. [Daily Mail]
• Is American Idol alum and Color Purple star Fantasia Barrino also knocked up? Is unprotected sex the new hot trend? Doesn't anyone use condoms anymore? Sigh. [Page Six]
• Did Lindsay Lohan say to "roommate" Courtenay Semel "lezzbe friends, breast friends"? They were seen holding hands at the party of a power lesbian. But maybe Courtenay was just holding LL back from non-sober fun? [Page Six]
• Lindsay's dad Michael played the role of Joseph in a Nativity scene in Times Square. Not a joke. [Page Six]
• A woman in Atlanta claims she became bipolar after Damon Dash exposed himself to her. Genitalia trauma! [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which diva songstress, as much a legend for her attitude as her pipes, demanded that an L.A. hair salon close for her on a busy Saturday, only to cancel the appointment?" [Gatecrasher]
• Helena Bonham Carter's "push present" from Tim Burton? Four pairs of lace-up biker boots. The gift that says, "Darling, you kick ass." [Daily Express]
• Kate Moss is taking her man, Jamie "Hotel Hince, her daughter, her mother and her stepfather on a sunny £30,000 vacation — maybe to St. Bart's. We wanna go too! [Daily Mail]
• Prince William took girlfriend Kate Middleton on a pheasant shoot. She carried dead birds and her man kissed her for being a good sport. Romantic! [Daily Mail]
• Ooh, are the Prince and Kate secretly living together? [Daily Express]
• Psychiatrists were called to calm a "screaming and sobbing" Amy Winehouse before her arrest yesterday. She was questioned for over two hours and then released on bail. Hey, at least she's not with child. Yet. [Daily Mail]
• Princess Diana had a half-empty package of contraceptives among her belongings before she died, her inquest has revealed. This makes it less likely that she was pregnant at the time of the crash. [Mirror]
• Tom Cruise's film Valkyrie is being delayed until next fall, because a pivotal scene has not been shot. Or because the buzz is that it sucks. [MSNBC]
• Chris O'Donnell and his wife Caroline gave birth to their fifth child. Soon they'll have enough for a dodgeball team! [People]