• In an exclusive interview, Blake Fielder-Civil says: "I dragged Amy into it and without me there is no doubt that she would never have gone down that road. I ruined something beautiful." He admits he got Amy Winehouse hooked on heroin, crack cocaine and self-harm. "The first time Amy took crack she asked me, 'Can I try a bit of that.' When I see pictures of Amy and the state she’s in it tears my heart out. I just want to pick her up and help her. But I can’t — because I’m the man who caused it all. It scares me to death that I can’t fix Amy." He also talks about watching her have seizures and why they both cut themselves. [News Of The World]
• Britney Spears was supposed to perform at a club in London, but wouldn't go on stage. Brits are pissed at Brit! [Perez Hilton]
• Britney's on the cover of Glamour, by the by. [Perez Hilton]
• Britney is the number one most-searched-for subject on Yahoo in the UK, bumping Barack Obama to 7th. [Guardian]

• Did you watch Britney's "documentary"? Produced by her manager? Here's the deal: A source says the piece was "a pre-emptive strike" — "Everyone agrees that (father and current financial manager) Jamie's been good for Britney, but there's always the possibility that his best efforts won't work when it comes to letting her have the career she wants, and that shouldn't be pinned on Britney," the source says. "She can't make any decisions. If she fails, she doesn't want it to look like it was her fault." [MSNBC]
• Guy Ritchie wants to buy a pub in NYC so he can spend more time with his kids? Does the Kabbalah in them drive him to drink? [Mirror]
• On the subject of Guy, they're saying his movie, Sherlock Holmes, is "cursed." Robert Downey Jr. was knocked out by an extra — he was out cold and drooling blood — plus, a gas tanked blew up and production was shut down for a few hours. The Mystery of the Ill-Fated Flick! [Perez Hilton]
• Alex Rodriguez had a double-trouble turkey day, visiting his soon-to-be ex-wife and kids for Thanksgiving and then "rushing" to be with Madonna later. [NY Daily News]
• As for Madonna, she's got a lot to be thankful for: Her Sticky & Sweet tour has grossed about $91.5 million in North America. When you add up Europe, she's earned about $207.5 million in ticket sales and could hit $282 million after touring Mexico and South America, making Sticky & Sweet the top-grossing tour ever by a female artist or solo artist. Music: Makes the people come together. [Reuters]
• Madonna has packed up all the presents Guy gave her, taken down pictures of him and erased their joint answering machine message. Moving on! [Mirror]
• And! Now Madonna and A-Rod are in Mexico. [NY Post]
• Travis Barker and DJ Am will perform together for the first time since surviving a fiery plane crash: They'll headline New Year's Nation's Los Angeles New Year's Eve Party at The Lot in West Hollywood, California, and it will be streamed on the Internet. [AP]
• Beyoncé in rehab? Well, she did visit a New York substance abuse charity when preparing for her role in Cadillac Records; she met six African-American women whose lives had been wrecked by heroin. They taught her the "junkie stagger" and "addled rage." Beyoncé says: "I never tried drugs in my life so I didn’t know about it all. It was hard to go to the rehab. I learned a lot about life and myself." [Daily Mail]
• Tina Fey, who never talks about her scar, is on the January cover of Vanity Fair, in which her husband explains that she was slashed when she was 5: "She was in, like, the front yard of her house, and somebody just came up, and she just thought somebody marked her with a pen." Fey doesn't talk about it because "It's impossible to talk about it without somehow seemingly exploiting it," she says. [NY Post]
• Elton John is going to team up with Mark Ronson! [Fox 411]
• Elton's partner David Furnish wears a lock of Elton's baby hair around his neck: "It’s a talisman that makes me feel protected, like I’ve got him with me all the time." [The Sun]
• Rosie Live is dead. [People]
• Hugh Jackman says his dad feels weird about his son being called "The Sexiest Man Alive." "(My dad) said to me, 'I can't really talk to you about being sexy. It's a little weird.' Mind you, I'm still waiting for the birds and the bees pitch from him. That hasn't happened either!" [Daily Express]
• Victoria Beckham is "bonding" with Gordon Ramsay's wife, Tana, amid allegations that Gordon had a "professional mistress." Apparently Posh has advice for Tana — remember when David Beckham was accused of having an affair with his assistant, Rebecca Loos? [Telegraph]
• The Beckhams and the Cruises went on horse-drawn carriage rides through central park! [Page Six]
• Nicole Kidman doesn't have Keith Urban on her iPod. [News.com.au]
• Milla Jovovich, 32, plans to marry for the third time. The groom is Brit director Paul WS Anderson; she previously married actor Shawn Andrews when she was 16 and director Luc Besson when she was 21. This time around, she will not get hitched in Vegas, so as not to "jinx" it. [Daily Express]
• Is Gwyneth Paltrow taking a break from her husband and staying with billionaire Jeff Soffer? [UPI]
• Will Smith on Tom Cruise: "I was so used to competition between other artists that I just didn't get him at first. And then Tom just broke it down to me and said, Will, we are not competing, so don't think that way. That blew my mind because that is not how this business works at all." [Newsweek]
• Tom Cruise has 16 motorcycles, a 1958 Corvette, five airplanes and a new movie, Valkyrie. He says: "You have to take chances, challenge yourself. You can't take movies because you think they're going to be huge hits." [USA Today]
• There's an anti-Scientology book which Amazon stopped selling — is Tom Cruise to blame? [Rush & Molloy]
• Courtney Love is on the cover of the January issue of UK Elle, in which she states: "Baby, if I could get a gastric band I would! I’ve heard it’s a lot of vomiting and a pain in the ass, but it’s still easier than a diet. I did go to see a Hollywood doctor about it. I wasn’t desperate, I just knew I had to do something. He said no. I might have been fat, but I wasn’t that fat. I tried lipo on my stomach after that. It was horrible and it didn’t work." [Daily Mail]
• James Franco says the love scene in Milk was Sean Penn's idea. [Page Six]
• Peaches Geldof and Max Drummey had a fight in a bar, with Max shouting "I'm bored of all this." [The Sun]
• Although… Max and Peaches' dad Bob Geldof "get on well." [Mirror]
• Oooh, fancy: Scout comes out! Scout LaRue Willis and her parents, Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, attended the 18th Paris Haute Couture Bal des Debutants. [Telegraph]
• Andrew Lloyd Webber may be dragged into court over a £6.6million 19th century painting his foundation bought with £1 million of taxpayers' cash. [Telegraph]
• Got $9 million? Leonardo DiCaprio is selling his Malibu house. The bluff-top property is "paparazzi-proof." [People]
• Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr: Not engaged, despite what the Australian media is printing. [People]
• A reporter describes Benicio Del Toro as "the world's sexiest hobo." And Del Toro talks about Che Guevara: "I thought, 'Dammit, this guy is cool-looking!' I thought he looked like a cousin of mine… There was a book of letters he wrote to his family, a collection, and when I started reading that thing, it was like the first time I read Jack Kerouac, you know? It was like this guy, he's my age, in his 20s, and he's writing like a poet. He was writing these great letters - funny, articulate, sarcastic, socially concerned." [Guardian]
• Someone planted a tracking device on Simon Cowell's car. He's bugging out! [Mirror]
• Kate Winslet is nekkid in a flick called The Reader and art critic Charlie Finch thinks the movie trivializes the Holocaust: "What is especially repellent is the use of Kate Winslet's nubile body to create sympathy for a repellent character, whose triumph over illiteracy somehow mitigates unspeakable crimes which are never actually depicted on-screen." [Page Six]
• LOL at Geri Halliwell's dress! [The.Life Files]
• Terry and Harry Gilliam reflect on the problems of being, and having, a famous parent. [Times of London]
• Did you know Steve McQueen was a pilot? [LA Times]
• "I don't know how to be. I mean, I know how to be a lot of things, but I don't know how to be a movie star. I'm trying to learn over time." — Meryl Streep. [LA Times]
• "I never did feel that we were mean to her. We stuck to a lot of things that she herself had said, and I think there is a very strange double standard because it's a woman portraying another woman. The jokes we used to do about George W. Bush were that he was an idiot. The jokes were aggressive. No one would ever stop and say, 'Oh, that seems kind of mean.'" — Tina Fey on playing Sarah Palin, to Barbara Walters. [Page Six]
• "Some people just want to hear a lot of rap lyrics. I'm just trying to make the best music possible. I'll use the advantage of being a rapper to give an urban flavour to pop hits, which is an incredible combination. That chorus to 'Heartbreak' could be a Broadway chorus, it's so classic. In the night, I hear 'em talk, the coldest story ever told, somewhere far along this road he lost his soul, to a woman so heartless - the message is classic. The heartbreak. The Shakespearian tragedy. That's what this is - it's a modern-day tragedy. Devastation. Multiple losses in my life." — Kanye West. [Guardian]
• "I can’t believe I was a fat person for most of my life. I didn’t have surgery and I worked hard. There's no secret. I’m active. I watch what I eat. According to Hollywood standards, I'm not a thin girl. I’m a normal girl. I don’t want to perpetuate that obsession but yet I am also guilty of wanting ... to lose weight." — Ricki Lake. [People]
• "I've heard so many people say, so many times: 'You're this year's It Girl!' And I'm like, 'You said that to me in 2001 and 2004.'" — Zooey Deschanel in Complex. [Page Six]
• "I've shown my ass in other movies. That scene in particular felt a little weird. It's one thing if everybody is naked. It's another thing if everyone is in suits and you're the naked guy." — James Franco on being nude in Milk. [Newsweek]
• "Well, that's good. I'm sure there are red-headed websites that are claiming me, and people above a certain height. It's all fine. I'm friend not foe. One man's polyamory - is that the word? - is another man's being really, really good friends with the co-parent of one's children while we're both in other relationships. I don't think that's so strange. But maybe it is - and that would be really sad." — Tilda Swinton, on the news that she's named on polyamory websites, as an inspiring example for the multi-partner lifestyle. [Independent]
• "I think kids do best when they only have a couple of things that they really enjoy. I try and stay away from the gluttony of things. They don't appreciate it as much. When they only get one or two things they really like it." — Reese Witherspoon, who "sets limits" on what her kids get for Christmas. [People]
• "I was a brunette before I met Manson. She’s the last person I would want to be like." — Evan Rachel Wood, on the gossip that she's been copying Marilyn Manson's ex, Dita Von Teese. [Times of London]

My favorite moment in the interview is this one:

[...] when the photographer says she looks a bit too much like a boy in one of the pictures, several hours into the shoot, she leans in and, as if letting him in on a secret, stage whispers: “That’s kind of who I am.”

Swinton's not into being cute, or girly, and although she describes herself as "resigned" rather then "comfortable" with her looks, she says, "I never had an aspiration to look like a doll, which is fortunate." Fortunate for her and fortunate for us, because we get a woman BlackBook calls "to some, the most beautiful woman on the planet," who is frankly odd-looking. I like to think of Swinton as post-beautiful, a visitor from some paradisaical future time when it's more important to look fascinating than to have big breasts or pouty lips (not that these things can't also be fascinating — they're just not the be-all and end-all of female hotness).

Part of Swinton's otherworldly look comes from her fashion sense, of which she says, "'red carpet dressing' sounds like something that would take you out of your own instincts, but haven't gotten there yet. I will wear what I want to wear." Which includes a one-shoulder Lanvin gown that looked, to my mind, space-age awesome.

When Swinton's iconoclasm goes beyond style, however, it gets a little more complicated. She calls the MPAA "the Motion Academy of doo da — what was it called?" And she says of her 2008 Oscar, "a lot of people really want one — really, really want one. And I'm embarrassed because I never did, and I feel a little ashamed that I was given one when I didn't really want one." What starts out as a bit of Doris-Lessing-style cussedness ends up sounding kind of ungracious, even holier-than-thou. And her opinions on Hollywood politics are just kind of confusing. She lists Javier Bardem and Marion Cotillard as proof that "there is a possibility for our generation, point being that one doesn't necessarily have to give it all up. One can actually stand up and be counted." Maybe her interviewer didn't push hard enough, but I'm not sure what she, Bardem, and Cotillard are being counted for, unless it's good acting and European hotness. Worthwhile pursuits both, but hardly revolutionary.

But perhaps I'm expecting too much of Swinton. I originally encountered her as a counterexample to a particular borrowed-Playboy standard of female sexuality, and she remains one to this day. She is also a very, very good actress. A woman doesn't have to be inspiring in every way to be inspiring, and looks are still important — or rather, it's important for us to see someone who still looks how she wants to look and wears what she wants to wear. Tilda Swinton shows that female beauty and sexuality can be creative, self-determined, and weird, rather than mere products of the male gaze. That — and Orlando — are enough for me.

A final note: in addition to her longtime partner and the father of her 10-year-old twins, Swinton is now involved with actor/painter Sandro Kopp, who played a centaur in The Chronicles of Narnia. At the end of the interview, Swinton describes him as "half New Zealander downstairs." Kopp's mother is from New Zealand, but what's with the "downstairs" crack? Is this some sort of centaur joke? Or are Kiwis known for their penises? Readers from the NZ, please help me out here.

Tilda Swinton's Reign [BlackBook]

2% socialite, 0% blogger!

One writer, one photographer, one rapper. Three designers. Seven royals (one of whom is Kate Middleton).

The list:

Ivanka Trump
Michelle Obama
Carla Bruni-Sarkozy
Kate Middleton
Sarah Jessica Parker
Diana Taylor
Julia Koch
Tilda Swinton
H.R.H Crown Princess Mathilde of Belgium
Evelyn Lauder
Zac Goldsmith
Daniel Craig
Matt Lauer
David Beckham
Lapo Elkann
H.S.H. Prince Heinrich von und zu Fürstenberg
Count Manfredi Della Gherardesca
Kanye West
Morley Safer
Bryan Lourd
Sisters Alexandra Kotur and Fiona Kotur Marin
Brothers Rafael, Duke of Feria, and Don Luis Medina
Brothers Andrea and Pietro Clemente
Iris Apfel
Karl Lagerfeld
Julian Schnabel
Sydney and Charles Finch
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie
Kelly Lynch and Mitch Glazer
Christy Turlington Burns
Carine Roitfeld
Katherine Ross
Stacey Bendet
Fran Lebowitz
H.R.H. Crown Prince Pavlos of Greece
Jonathan Becker

No, Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham was not named. Nor was Scarlett Johansson or Heidi Klum. Glaring omissions? Please advise.

The International Best-Dressed List [Vanity Fair]

• Sarah Jessica Parker, The Ivy Chronicles: Parker is in talks with Warner Bros. to star in the film version of the eponymous novel by Karen Quinn. The film centers around a woman living in New York (we know) who gets divorced and loses her cushy job and is forced to move downtown and pull her kids out of private school (the horror!). Ivy then starts a business to help upper-middle-class women get their children into posh kindergartens. What a saint. Verdict: You would think SJP would like to branch out of these class-concious, NY-single-rich-white-woman roles but apparently she has no desire to stop spreading crap to women across the world. All that aside, this sounds like a victim role.

• Hilary Duff, Stay Cool: Hilary Duff still acts? Duff will play a supporting role in this upcoming Polish brothers comedy, described as a "knowing-your-age comedy." A successful author (Mark Polish) will deliver a high school commencement speech and be seduced by a sexy high school senior (Duff) who invites him to her prom. Wow! A young gal flirting with a successful older writer - sounds realistic! (At least in the minds of the male thirtysomethings who constantly write about it.) Verdict: Duff's role is minor and certainly the "babe" one of the film, so she could be any version of various cliches depending on how she plays it.

• Tilda Swinton, The Ghost: Swinton will star alongside Nicolas Cage and Pierce Brosnan in this new film by Roman Polanksi. The film centers around Cage, who plays the ghostwriter for a former prime minister in England who is writing his memoirs, but all of his ghostwriters seem to end up dead. Swinton will play the PM's wife who falls for Cage's character as her marriage crumbles. Verdict: We really love Swinton but this role could border on a hooker-victim role. But, again, it depends on how she plays it.

• Christina Ricci, The Hero Of Color City: Ricci is the first cast member to be announced for this new animated CG feature. She will play the role of a "timid crayon" called (and we can only assume, is) Yellow. The plot of the film revolves around a group of crayons whose "colorful world is threatened by an evil tyrant." Verdict: We know that stereotypes can be found in kid's films as well, but she is playing a crayon. Probably no real stereotype to speak of.

• Lily Rabe, All Good Things: Rabe joins the cast of this upcoming thriller that includes Kirsten Dunst and Ryan Gosling. The film centers on a NY real estate scion (Gosling) who gets involved with a girl from the wrong side of town (Dunst) before she disappears. Secrets are revealed, and Rabe will play one of Gosling's character's friends who knows some of those secrets. Verdict: Honestly, her role sound so part of the exposition of the story that we doubt she will be even given a stereotype to play. Rabe is probably safe with this one.

"Movie And TV Studios Brace For An Actor's Strike" [NYT]
"Sarah jessica Parker Lines Up 'Ivy'" [THR]
"Hilary Duff Joins 'Cool' School" [THR]
"Cage, Brosnan See Polanski's 'Ghost'" [Variety]
"Christina Ricci Joins 'Her' Voice Cast" [THR]
"Lily Rabe" [Variety]

The Good:
Say what you will about La Campbell, the woman's a pro. No matter what legal snafus she's gotten herself into from week to week, she always brings it on the Red.

Nicolo Cardi's unidentified guest (obvi a model judging by gazelle-like physique, that gent's look of self-satisfaction) looks lovely in her metallic column.

I don't know that just everyone could pull this off. But Gucci creative director Frida Giannini absolutely rocks it. (And just N.B., I love the unapologetic red carpet stance everyone adopts in the old world.)

Time was, I had some unreasonable beef with Natalia Vodianova and her English peer hubby. (I think it was based on some Vogue profile that totally glossed over the fact that she was super-young when they met and he was obviously a creepy modelizer. They called it a storybook romance or something. But Vogue profiles make anyone sound insufferable.) I'm pleased to report that they seem unfazed by my disapprobation and look blissfully happy. I like her dress, much.

The Bad:

Tilda Swinton is one of those unabashed "glamorous eccentrics" who, I used to think, could kinda get away with anything. This has changed my mind.

Last week I ran a pic of Nicole Richie in a caftan which many of you felt overwhelmed her. I stand by Nicole, but will say, apply those criticisms to: Margherita Missoni.

Lapo Elkann is an international playboy, industrialist and Fiat heir. None of which explains this suit.

In case you can't tell, the skirt (pants?) of actress Jo Champa's getup is totally sheer.

We really like what Vogue Italia editor Franca Sozzani is doing with the July issue. With her shoes? Not so much. (Malkovich also a mystery.)

The Ugly:

Classic scroll-down situation. This applies only to Giorgio Armani's lower half. Although perhaps the utter normalcy of his top half throw the parachute pants/sneakers into more stark and horrible relief?

[Images by Getty.]

[New York, May 7; image via Getty.]

The Good:
Christy Turlington glows in a red dress in an unexpected silhouette.
Emily Mortimer went a little gladiator for the superhero theme.
Stella McCartney and Kate Moss shine perfectly.
Camilla Belle looks wrapped in clouds.
If I were Christina Ricci, I would never ever ever take this dress off. Ever. It is one of the greatest things I have ever seen. Love. Speechless. Sigh.
Diane Kruger looks a little bit like the Tin Man, but I love that she went for a short dress. Also, love love the shoes.
Iman. Always perfect. What else is new?
Kate Mara! Yellow! Yes! Yes!
Tom Cruise looks weirder than normal, but Katie Holmes looks fantastic, which of course I hate to say. But there's no denying all that red.
Dear Mischa Barton: Strip and give me that dress right now. Kthanxbai.
Please God let my face age like Natasha Richardson's.
Rachel Bilson looks like a total freak and I love. Clearly, she mistook "superheroes" to mean "Morticia Addams."
ScarJo is simultaneously old school and somewhat infantalized in her D&G but she looks hot, so good for her.
I still am not entirely sure who Taylor Swift is, but I like her chainmail-esque dress.
Sorry, you just can't hate on Victoria Beckham.
Emmy Rossum is a head-turner in this black-and-white floral frock.
Claudia Schiffer's dress is downright ethereal. Valentino is downright orange.
Ellen Barkin manages to always play it classy.
Jessica Stam is sorta a bad ass!
Michelle Trachtenberg? Or Liza at Studio 54?
Molly Sims must know my weakness for the color yellow.
Call me a crazy motherfucker, but Wendi Deng looks incredible.
Almost-goth Amanda Peet is fabulous.
Um, I love that Amber Valetta's dress has wings.
I totally heart you and your kick-ass black dress Ashley Olsen.
Can we discuss how awesome it is that Barbara Walters is there with Charlie Rose?
Claire Danes is sorta channeling Angela here, no?
This is seriously the best I have ever seen Fergie look.
Yeah, same for Hilary Duff.
Lake Bell went for it.
Lauren Bush is one class act in royal purple.
Margherita Missoni: Crazy-awesome.
Michelle Monahagan should only ever wear copper. Wow.
Paula Patton: Pretty.
Sofia's shiny drop-waisted number is delightful.
Tilda Swinton? Or Mr. Roboto?
Vera Wang and Karolina Kurkova play their metallics en suite.
Be my flamenco dancer, Ingrid van der Bosch.
Maggie Gyllenhaal knows you gotta go big or go home.
Venus Williams is a beacon of light.
Be still my heart, Zoe Kravitz-as-a-Clara Bow.
Bee Shaffer's dress is phenomenal. But why is Andre Leon Talley relegated to straightening her train?!

[Images via Getty.]

[Milan, April 26. Image via INFDaily.com.]

• Tilda Swinton, I Am Love: In this Italian film, Swinton will play a foreign "society matron" in Milan who falls for a young (hot) chef. The director says that the film is about "the irreparable consequences brought about by love in a high-bourgeois family." Verdict: While we love Swinton, the words "irreparable consequences" can only mean some victim elements.

• Virginia Madsen, Amelia: Botox spokeswoman and occasional actress, Madsen will co-star in this Amelia Earhart biopic playing Dorothy Pinney, the first wife of Richard Gere's character, George Putnam. Dorothy's husband eventually leaves her for Earhart (Hilary Swank) and the film focuses on their "rocky" relationship. Verdict: Hm, first wife of the husband of the film's title character? It's likely she'll be painted as a victim, a doormat or maybe a little of both!

• Emmanuelle Vaugier, Dolan's Cadillac: French actress Vaugier will play the female lead in this adaptation of Stephen King's short story of the same name. Vaugier's character is killed by a mob boss (Christian Slater) and her death is avenged by her husband (Wes Bentley). Verdict: Uh, murdered woman? Victim, victim, victim.

• Rose McGowan, Barbarella: McGowan will star in this re-make of the campy 1968 original starring Jane Fonda. In the original, Barbarella goes on a sexual journey to fight an evil man called Durand-Durand. Verdict: In the original, Fonda's sexual exploits are more comic than erotic. McGowan might get off (tee hee) easy with this one in terms of stereotypes, but we just hope she doesn't ruin classic!

• Moon Bloodgood, Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins: Bloodgood, who starred in NBC's short-lived series Journeyman will play the female lead in this Terminator sequel, a "no-nonsense and battle-hardened" member of the resistance. Verdict: A no-nonsense character might seem okay (although it could be leaning into shrew territory) but a grade-A nobody playing an unnamed character as the "female lead" makes us think that the female characters found in this flick will probably be limited to 10 lines each.

SAG, Studios Feel The Pressure [Variety]
Tilda Swinton To Star In 'I Am Love' [Variety]
Virginia Madsen Added To 'Amelia' [Variety]
Christian Slater Drives 'Cadillac' [THR]
McGowan Dyes For 'Barbarella' Role [Variety]
'Terminator' Sequel Eyes Lead [THR]

• Sienna Miller has reportedly finally agreed to marry Rhys Ifans — after he asked a third time. Summer wedding, you guys. With guests like Kate Moss and Keira Knightley! [Mirror]
  
• Is Kimora Lee Simmons knocked up? Sources say she's got a bun in the oven, thanks to Djimon Hounsou. Now we're gonna be hearing about her "fabulosity" fetus for the next 9 months. [Page Six, People]
  
• Someone placed a 911 call claiming Heather Locklear was suicidal; but when cops arrived Heather was fine, never requested medical assistance and did not place the call. WTF. [TMZ, TMZ]
  
• Star Jones and Al Reynolds: It's over! Three and a half years after their sponsored wedding, Al has moved out and Star is planning to divorce him. Anyone surprised? [ONTD, MSNBC]

• The girls from America's Next Top Model are accused of destroying the Tribeca loft they stayed in in New York. The floors are ruined, there's water damage in the bathroom and lipstick on the walls, says a source. Pretty can be ugly! [Page Six]
• Heath Ledger's father says that even though Heath's will was filed before he met Michelle Williams, Michelle and Matilda "will be taken care of." [People]
• A web site called George Clooney "gay, gay, gay." Says George: "No, I'm gay, gay. The third gay - that was pushing it." [People]
• Clooney also commented on that feud with Fabio, admitting Fabio could probably beat him up. [UPI]
• Gwyneth Paltrow got a C tattooed on her hip for her hubby Chris Martin. Or for Coldplay. Or for cookies. [Mirror]
• The Sopranos movie? No. Seriously, no. It's just a rumor. [AP]
• Q-Tip's new album features Barack Obama. Repeat: Q-Tip's new album features Barack Obama?!??!? [Page Six]
• Helena Christensen and Josh Hartnett: Dunzo. [Gatecrasher]
• It's someone's job to touch up the nail polish on Ivanka Trump's wax figure at Madame Tussaud's? Would you include that on your resume? [Gatecrasher]
• Lindsay and Ali Lohan partied in the penthouse of their LL's NYC apartment building, but stayed sober. [Gatecrasher]
• Apparently LL tells Ali to stay away from clubs. [UPI]
• Blind item! "Which skinny-again chart topper has been making multiple bathroom visits with his male friend during late nights at hot spots like Hyde? Apparently it's not just the girls who like diet coke." [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which famous braying crooner went down a line of Playmates and stunning models at a recent film festival, inquiring as to whether or not they'd sleep with him? There were no takers, and one of the models even laughed and called him 'short.'" [Rush & Molloy]
• This video of Britney walking into a bar is kind of sad. See, she literally walks into a metal bar. [TMZ]
• The obsessed fan who's been sending packages two to three times a week to Britney has included sexually explicit notes and a "battery-operated sex toy" in the mailings, gross. [UPI]
• Courtney Love claims she is the victim of identity theft — that con aritsts used Kurt Cobain's name to buy a mansion in New Jersey. [UPI]
• Except the LAPD says "It never happened." [TMZ]
• Matt Damon's wife: Knocked up. This will be the third child for the family. [People]
• Rihanna and Chris Brown: Singing each other's songs at a karaoke club in London. Sweet! [Mirror]
• Jessica Simpson's trip to Kuwait to perform for the troops is costing $150,000 for the plane and $16,000 in hair and makeup. Who's picking up the tab? [MSNBC]
• ABC soap One Life To Live has a storyline that may parallel Jamie Lynn Spears' life: A 16-year-old teenage character will have sex and maybe get knocked up. Juno, what hath ye wrought? [Reuters]
• Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards have reached and agreement in their custody battle. The exes are making nice, awww. [E!]
• Actress Samantha Morton was "close to death" after suffering a secret stroke two years ago. She took an unexplained break from making movies because she was learning to walk again. Jeez. She's fully recovered and gave birth to a second daughter in January. Be well! [Guardian]
• Kathy Griffin became a ordained online so she could officiate in a New York wedding in which the non-religious bride and groom claim laughter is the major factor in their relationship. LOL and congrats! [USA Today]
• Robbie Williams says he wants to study extraterrestrial life, and it's apparently not a joke. [UPI]
• Sound Of Music star Julie Andrews has kept a secret for 58 years: She was the child of an affair. [Telegraph]
• "I'm loath to say anything good about going to boarding school, which is one of the reasons why I'm not a believer in Harry Potter. Because I believe it fetishizes boarding school for children." — Tilda Swinton [Page Six]

• Nicole Kidman's pregnancy has made her "voluptuous" and she is so happy. "I can't ask for anything more except big boobs. I've wanted Marilyn Monroe curves all my life." [Rush & Molloy]
  
• More on Angelina Jolie's op-ed piece for The Washington Post: She urges the US to help Iraqi refugees displace by the war. "What we cannot afford, in my view, is to squander the progress that has been made. In fact, we should step up our financial and material assistance." [People, WaPo]
  
• HX magazine asked: "If a 'Janet' drag queen had to battle a 'Madonna' drag queen, what advice would you give the 'Janet' queen? Janet Jackson replied: "Kick the bitch's ass!" [Perez Hilton]
  
• This was in Midweek Madness, but Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson are back together. "Inside Kate & Owen's Hookup" is kind of a gross title for a gossip item. Depending on what your definition of "hookup" is. But like, vadge cam? Is that what we're talking about? [People]
  
• Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem: "It's getting pretty serious." [Page Six]

• In case you missed it in Midweek Madness, Nicole Richie has been offered the role of Roxie Hart in Chicago on Broadway. Give 'em the old razzle-dazzle! [Us]
• Amy Winehouse's husband, Blake Incarcerated, was in court in London this morning. He pleaded not guilty to the charge of conspiring to "pervert" the course of justice. [People]
• Guess who was not in court? Amy! She stayed home and "Good Blake," the sober one, came over. [Daily Mail]
• Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Patrick Dempsey and Kathy Bates are all named in a list of the "10 Worst Nude Films Scenes" of all time. [Page Six]
• Bruce Willis: Shouting lines from There Will Be Blood in an NYC restaurant, for the fun of it. [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which music manager with debts around town might want to pay up before his creditors go to the gossip columns with all the details of his secret S&M lifestyle?" [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! This is translated from Ted Casablanca: Which closeted TV star finally decided to have gay sex for the first time — and unknowingly ended up shagging a journalist, who's not being quiet about it? [E!]
• The United Negro College Fund will honor Denzel Washington for helping historically black colleges and universities and for assisting minorities in paying for education. Congrats! [USA Today]
• Funnyman Will Arnett is addicted to Xbox game "Call of Duty — he plays 15 hours a week and admits, "It's really embarrassing." Poor Amy Poehler. [Rush & Molloy]
• Rachael Ray shed real tears while taping her show after meeting a pit bull rescued from Michael Vick's dogfighting pits. [Rush & Molloy]
• Ellen cried on her show as she discussed the murder of Lawrence King, a 15-year-old who asked a male student to be his Valentine and then was shot by that student. [TMZ]
• Britney visited with her kids again yesterday. [TMZ]
• The visit was full of hugs and affection. Yeah, not really newsy. But there it is. [People]
• Oh, and Britney is working on a dance routine for a new video — "Hot As Ice" should be the next track! [E!]
• The driver who was racing Nick Hogan the night of the crash that left Hogan's friend in a coma has been sentenced to 90 days probation, 25 hours of community service and a $500 fine. [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan, in that horribly styled & shot story for Paper magazine: "Now I know what it's like to be an out-of-work actor, and how much it scares me." [People]
• Julianne Moore on three episodes of Desperate Housewives? Hmm. Downgrade. [ONTD]
• Pete Doherty was named Hero Of The Year at the NME awards? Is there a new definition of the word "hero"? [The Sun]
• MTV is not planning on playing Paula Abdul's new video — it hasn't even been submitted for consideration. It's that bad. [MSNBC]
• John Ritter's widow testified yesterday in the wrongful death suit she brought against his doctors. [USA Today]
• Will former Destiny's Child singer Kelly Rowland pose for Playboy? She does have new boobs. So. [Miami Herald]
• There was a tech glitch at the Technology, Entertainment and Design conference in Monterey, CA and Robin Williams saved the day by filling the dead air with jokes, hooray! [Wired]
• Check out this painting done by the younger of Tilda Swinton's two lovers. Not bad! [Village Voice]
• Justin Chambers, lying around without a shirt on. Good morning! [A Socialite's Life]

[London, February 27. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Ali Lohan tells Teen Vogue: "I grew up watching Lindsay. It made me want to do what she does. Just the whole vibe. Being there, being on camera, or onstage, with everybody listening to you... It's so cool when people look up to you. I've already been asked for my autograph and it's just a really good feeling to have." Oh, no! Isn't there a difference between a creative artist who craves expression and a fame whore? [People]
  
• Where were Brad and Angelina on Oscar night? At home, relaxing. Basking in their collective hotness, probably. [People]
  
• Angelina will have her baby in France and it's a girl, if you believe this UK paper. [The Sun]
  
• John Krasinski and Rashida Jones: It's so on. [ONTD]
  
• Mile high club! Rhys Ifans and Sienna Miller got frisky on a flight from L.A. to London: Rhys took off his top and jumped half-naked into Sienna's fold-out bed. [Mirror]
  
• Madonna to other prospective jurors at jury duty: "I'm gonna tell [the court] I'm an unemployed mom." [Page Six]
  
• Madonna's new album (and her final CD with Warner Bros.) is titled Hard Candy and drops April 29. Can't wait to taste it! [Yahoo News]

• Will Diablo Cody celebrate her Oscar win by getting a tattoo of Ellen Page's face? [Page Six]
• Lunch with Anderson Cooper! Being auctioned off! Blue blue eyes included! [Page Six]
• Mischa Barton has been charged with four misdemeanor counts following her December 27th arrest: DUI, blood alcohol level of .08% or higher, driving without a license and possession of marijuana. She's due in court February 28. Where is superlawyer Sandy Cohen when you need him? [TMZ]
• Pamela Anderson is looking an annul her marriage to Rick Salomon, citing fraud. Wait, what? [TMZ]
• Neverland Ranch is under foreclosure! The property will be put up for public sale unless Michael Jackson comes up with the $24,525,906.61 he owes. Anyone want to loan MJ some cash? [TMZ]
• Gary Busey being verbally abusive to an 11-year-old girl? Sigh. [Perez Hilton]
• Britney went shopping in Beverly Hills, all hell broke loose, she was ticketed for parking in the red zone, etc. [TMZ]
• A federal judge has thrown Britney's conservatorship case back to state court, saying it's not a federal issue. Duh. Also: The lawyer in the case was not even hired by Brit, but she may have to pay $40,000 in fees. WTF. [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, Britney's boyfriend (are they still together?) went to some Oscar gift suites for free shit. [MSNBC]
• Is there beef between George Clooney and Jennifer Aniston? She is his buddy's ex... [MSNBC]
• Oooh, Orlando Bloom has a crush on Aniston. Remember when they were photographed hanging out on the beach in Mexico together? So does he! [Daily Mail]
• The photographer who sued a newspaper for accusing him of hounding Nicole Kidman has been handed a large legal bill, and the judge says the photog was clearly intrusive and threatening. [AP]
• Ewan McGregor is the new face of Davidoff's Adventure fragrance. Smells like full frontal! [UPI]
• Bobby Brown will not face criminal charges after cops found cocaine in his possession: He'll do community service, which Bobby says he wanted to do anyway. He's going to mentor young people. Good luck to those kids! [Yahoo News]
• Benji Madden is totes into Paris Hilton: He gave her a ring from Tiffany & Co. and is telling friends "she's the one." [MSNBC]
• Amy Winehouse: All scratched up. [Mirror]
• Amy also has a "weird" new tattoo on her back: An eagle with a stars and stripes ankh. [Daily Mail]
• Crap, is Amy back on drugs? [The Sun]
• Tilda Swinton on living with her 29-year-old "sweetheart" and the 68-year-old father of her children: "I think it's extraordinary that we're all really close friends." [News.com.au]
• James Marsden is being honored by the Tourette Syndrome Association, a charity he supports. [UPI]
• Academy Awards producer Gil Cates says leaving Whoopi Goldberg out of the host montage "was an absolute oversight." He claims: "No harm was intended, and I feel very, very badly that she was left out." [People]
• Blind item! "Which U.S. senator, currently applying for another job, slipped on the waxed marble floors rushing to a vote and inadvertently grabbed both breasts of a female Capitol police officer, according to a story she's been telling around the Hill?" [Gatecrasher]
• Marc Anthony's ex-wife, Dayanara Torres, is penning a book: Married to Me: How Committing to Myself Led to Triumph After Divorce. Dirty details about being wed to Marc sure to come. [Page Six]
• Dumbledore is into polyamory. [Page Six]
• Gwen Stefani looks like a crazy Harlequin on the cover of V magazine. [The.Life Files]
• Is Naomi Campbell dating Gerard Butler??????? [The Sun]

The Good:

The Bad:

The Ugly:

[Los Angeles, February 21. Image via Splash.]

Earlier: As reported, 47-year-old Tilda Swinton has a 29-year old boyfriend named Sandro and a 67-year-old partner and baby-daddy named John. But did she steal Sandro from his 26-year-old girlfriend? [Daily Mail]

• Did Amy Winehouse's husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, overdose on heroin in jail? He was reportedly found passed out in his cell and rushed to the prison hospital. [TMZ]
  
• Amy went out in London and "left a pair of boob enhancers, like chicken cutlet things to push up your boobs, and some hair extensions in the toilet." Whoops! And hey, what was she doing in there, anyway, that she needed to ditch her cutlets and hair? [Page Six]
  
• This report claims that Blake traded signed pictures of Amy for drugs. [The Sun]
  
• Post-overdose Blake has been banned from all contact with the outside world. That means no visitors. Amy is going to freak the fuck out. [Perez Hilton]
  
• Diva alert! There's an empty private room with a luxurious brown leather couch in North Shore University Hospital on Long Island, patiently awaiting for Jennifer Lopez to give birth. "No one's even allowed in there until she gets here. It's just sitting there for her," says a source. [Page Six]
  
• After she gives birth, People magazine will probably pay J. Lo and Marc Anthony between $4 million and $6 million for photos of the twins. [Ad Age]

• David and Victoria Beckham renewed their vows — and got matching tattoos of the event's date — nearly two years ago, but kept it a secret until now. [UPI]
• Rihanna caught her father smoking crack when she was nine years old. He's since kicked drugs and joins the singer when she's on tour. [Mirror]
• Blind item! "Which recently divorced fashion editor is rumored to be spending more time in Los Angeles these days? Word is she's taken up with the recently jailed Kiefer Sutherland." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which movie star recently suffered a miscarriage? The heartbroken actress is now talking about adopting." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which celebrity sibling who can't stay out of trouble has a girlfriend-of-record, but also a much-talked about romantic incident involving a same-sex pal in the Hamptons last summer?" [Gatecrasher]
• Naomi Watts teared up at a tribute to Heath Ledger is Sydney, Australia. [News.com.au]
• As reported, 47-year-old Tilda Swinton has a 29-year old boyfriend named Sandro and a 67-year-old partner and baby-daddy named John. But did she steal Sandro from his 26-year-old girlfriend? [Daily Mail]
• Heather Mills' manicurist spills: "I'd sum her up by saying she can be charming but, on the other hand, nuts." [Daily Mail]
• Heather will destroy all the evidence she has accumulated about Paul McCartney's wealth; and all video and audio evidence on their four-year marriage. [Daily Mail]
• Jared Leto attacked a fan with his microphone while crowdsurfing at a show in the UK. [Perez Hilton]
• Kirstie Alley and Jenny Craig: Dunzo. [UPI]
• Britney Spears went out on the town with her father over the weekend. Better than Sam Lutfi! [TMZ]
• The lawyer who claims to represent Britney in an effort to try to move her conservatorship case from L.A. court to federal court may not have a snowball's chance in hell. [USA Today]
• Still, he says, "I see the case as a civil rights case. These are issues of confinement. Very serious confinement. Not allowed to contact her friends. Not allowed to use the phone. Not allowed to come and go as you please. Bodyguards controlling you and so forth." [People]
• Heidi Klum says she'll take Britney in. "She can call me and come live in our house with us for a couple of months. I would help set her straight." [People]
• Madonna's new songs: Uptempo, urban, dancey, clubby; produced by Nate "Danja" Hills (who did Britney's Blackout), Timbaland and Pharrell. [Rolling Stone]
• There's a feud between Evi Quaid, wife of actor Randy, and the Actors Equity Union. Randy is banned from the union; Evi allegedly became apoplectic and kicked a 76-year-old receptionist in the shin. Drama! [Page Six]
• "Two girls I kissed turned out to be gay. I kissed Jodie Foster. She played my girl on 'The Partridge Family,' and look what happened" — Danny Bonaduce [Page Six]
• George (Tailor Made) Weisgerber from I Love New York was slapped with a disorderly conduct summons for flipping the finger to a cop in NYC. Hey, whatever it takes to stay relevant. [Gatecrasher]
• Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher, Penelope Cruz, Salma Hayek, Sharon Stone and Gwen Stefani: Into Mexican Train Dominoes. Yeah, who knows. [Gatecrasher]
• Us Weekly says the writer who identified herself as a reporter for the magazine and pissed off Scarlett Johansson outside of the Today show was not assigned by them and not representing the mag. Whoops! [Gatecrasher]
• Bill O'Reilly forces some underling to wipe the sweat off the exercise equipment when he's done. The "poor kid" just follows him around the gym. No spin zone, indeed. [Rush & Molloy]

• M.I.A. on playing the role of spokesmodel, DJ and popular celeb sighting during NY Fashion Week: "Last year I wasn't let into the Marc Jacobs party and this year I own it!" Ah, groundedness. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• International Herald Tribune fashion critic and former MJ nemesis Suzy Menkes really liked this season's (punctual!) (we're still getting over that!!) Marc Jacobs show: "It was such a good show, I would've waited three hours for it." Tell that to Robin Givhan's dog, Suze. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• On a darker note, is Marc's mom in rehab? [NY Daily News]
  
• Spain is encouraging apparel manufacturers to start making clothing sizes for three distinct different body types: hourglass, pear, and cylinder. [NYT]

• Join the Rachel Hunter-faced "Style Your Slim" Slimfast program and automatically become part of the American Express fashion rewards program. Because a woman who commits to a lifetime of shakes for breakfast, lunch and a sensible dinner is definitely committing to a lifetime of clothing sizes that change every two months. Yay, money! [FabSugar]
• Loulou de la Falaise, onetime muse to Yves Saint Laurent, to shill costume jewelry for Home Shopping Network. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Comme des Garcons designer Rei Kawakubo has partnered with Speedo to design "the fastest swimsuit ever." [WWD, sub req'd]
• Showing her Red Label line in London clearly isn't activist enough for Vivienne Westwood, who has made encouraging English designers to show in their home country into a full-out political cause. Says Red Label managing director/Westwood mouthpiece Carlo D'Amario, "London has become the global reference point for creativity and never like now there is a need for a permanent platform for the promotion of dynamic British and European talent... I call on John Galliano, Alexander McQueen and Burberry among others to show their younger distribution lines here in London and unite to make London Fashion Week and London not only a centre for creativity but also for business." Talk about a rebel without a cause. [Vogue UK]
• Jezebel girl crush Tilda Swinton on her plans for Oscar fashion: "My pajamas! I'll be watching them from home." [Fashion Week Daily]
• Hush Puppies: Still around! [The Street]
• Revlon is reissuing its Kiss Me Coral lipstick after London-based designer Roksanda Ilinicic pulled the color from their archives to use in tomorrow's London fashion week show. Our grandmother will be so, um, "tickled"! [Vogue UK]
• How did unsigned unknown Argentinian singer-songwriter Lights nab a gig to do the soundtrack for all Old Navy's latest look-how-hip-we-are ads? Turns out some folks still use MySpace! [AdAge]

Best Supporting Actress:
Cate Blanchett, I'm Not There: Come on, she plays that genius music man Bob Dylan! Who was most definitely not a victim. Or a hooker. Or even a woman. Verdict: OK!

Tilda Swinton, Michael Clayton: As Hillary Clinton taught us, even if other people try to hate on you, once a ball-busting lawyer, always a ball-busting lawyer. Which means that Swinton's character gets a Verdict: OK!

Ruby Dee, American Gangster: Yeah, it's sort of an iron-clad rule. Playing the guilt-ridden mother of a heroin dealer leaves no other option than Verdict: Victim!

Amy Ryan, Gone Baby Gone: She's an alcoholic. And her kid goes missing. Most definitely Verdict: Victim!

Saorise Ronan, Atonement: Once she reaches young adulthood, her character attempts to correct an error in judgment she had as a child by (spoiler alert!) concocting and selling a fictitious version of events. Which makes her either a crazy or a sociopath. No matter how you look at it, dying alone with regret makes you a guaranteed Verdict: Victim! (Even if you're the one making others into victims. Life is complicated like that, natch.)


Best Actress:

[Note: All of these nominees are sorta hard to pin down, so dangerously close do they dance between the line of victim/not-victim. So instead, we simply consulted our Magic 8-Ball.]

Julie Christie, Away From Her: Gets Alzheimer's, has to go to a nursing home, but then finds love. Too bad she's married! The story is sad, but good for her for finding some happiness. Also, isn't it not politically correct to call a person with Alzheimer's a "victim"? Verdict: Signs point to "no".

Marion Cotillard, La Vie En Rose: Her mother was an alcoholic and she grows up to be one too, in addition to, you know, real-life French chanteuse Edith Piaf. Also, has string of bad relationships and loses her only child. But she's a star, people, a star! Does becoming one of the biggest talents of our time cancel out the tragedy? Verdict: Absolutely.

Laura Linney, The Savages: Has a bad temp job, wants to be a playwright, denied every grant she's ever applied for, involved with a married man, father is dying. But: she's the smart and sassy sister to Philip Seymour Hoffman's even more pathetic brother, which means we're willing to give her the big ol' Verdict: My Sources Say No

Ellen Page, Juno: Has unprotected sex, gets pregnant, decides to keep the baby and give it up for adoption. By movie's end, she's landed her dream man (her dorky best friend), learned that childbirth is painful, makes a woman who wants to be a mom happy, grows closer with her own parents, and even manages to slink back down to original svelte teen-aged self when it's all over. Here's a girl who gets pregnant and refuses to play the victim, which somehow heightens the unavoidable sadness and gravity of the situation. Verdict: Outlook Not So Good

Earlier: Oscar Noms 2008: Women Can Write, Not Direct