I guess People offered the gang more money than they could get out of Late Night, but the magazine reportedly does briefly mention Fallon's reunion quest while still basically pretending the entire thing was its editors' own idea. But there is hope for Jimmy Fallon: the absence of Screech in People does bode well for an actual real full-on reunion on his show. And he has Mr. Belding, too!

And I'm not exactly sure why this exists, other than because of a desire on Tiffani's part to have her own viral video like her former co-star Mark Paul Gosselaar did when he appeared on Jimmy Fallon's show in character as Zack Morris from Saved By The Bell - but I'm a sucker for any Indigo Girls joke. And despite a little too much self-congratulation masked as self-parody (Funny Or Die's bread and butter these days), this does have its funny moments. Cat videos!:

• Daniel Radcliffe tells Details magazine that he lost his virginity at 16 with an older woman! He says the age difference "wasn't ridiculous" but "would freak some people out." What age would freak you out? 21? 31? 41? [Daily Mail]
• Also from Details: "I think part of me would love to play a drag queen, just because it would be an excuse to wear loads of eye makeup." — Daniel Radcliffe. [MSNBC, UPI]
• Joe Francis has had a new assistant since his release from jail in March: She is Holly Montag, Heidi's older sister. Apparently she is running his life. Joe says: "Holly is fantastic, probably the best assistant I have ever had." The Montag family, so classy. [Page Six]
• Holy crap! OK! magazine has a double cover for the first time ever. Democratic on one side, Republican on the other. Obama and Palin are the new Britney and Lindsay. [MSNBC]
• Us Weekly has a Sarah Palin cover too. More on this in a verrrry interesting Midweek Madness. [Us]

• Two men from Malibu have been charged with misdemeanor counts of battery for attacking a paparazzo who was snapping pix of Matthew McConaughey surfing in the Pacific Ocean in June. Officials say the two dudes threw the photog in the water from where he was taking pictures on the beach. They each face up to six months in jail and a $2000 fine. [Reuters]
• Hilary Swank is set to "pack on the pounds" to play the lead in French Women Don't Get Fat, the adaptation of Mireille Guiliano's best-selling book, which Swank is also producing. Even though the book is um, nonfiction, a story is being crafted! Hilary will play the manager of a champagne company dealing with French ladies who eat bread, wine and pastries and never gain an ounce. Fun. Lemme guess: She learns to slow down and enjoy, thereby losing weight? [E!]
• Remember how Josh Brolin and Jeffrey Wright were arrested in Shreveport, Louisiana for allegedly keeping cops from breaking up a bar brawl? Seems like the whole thing is getting swept under the rug. The police department supposedly has tapes of the incident, but they have never been released. Could it be because cops maybe called Wright the N-word and he was hit with a taser? [Radar]
• A friend of Lily Allen's was abducted at gunpoint and held hostage for a week. He's been released and Lily has thanked the police: "We were all terrified and from what I hear you guys did an amazing job." [Daily Express]
• Scene: Lily Allen and Elton John on stage at the GQ Awards. Lily: "And now to the most important part of the night-" Elton: "What? Are you going to have another drink?" Lily: "Fuck off Elton. I am 40 years younger than you and have my whole life ahead of me!" Elton: "I could still snort you under the table." Lily: "Fuck off. I don't know what you are talking about." [The Sun]
• The new movie The Women might suck, despite its secret new age-y message. [Fox 411]
• Cameron Diaz and Paul Sculfor have been all over each other at the US Open. Is it Love? [The Sun]
• Oh, but when Cameron shops, Paul gets bored. [Page Six]
• Blistex polled 3,000 women and Keira Knightley was voted as having the "perfect pout." [The Sun]
• Tiffani Thiessen, who played Valerie on 90210, doesn't seem that into the new 90210. [E!]
• Jon Bon Jovi is teaming up with the State of New Jersey to build homes that will cater to homeless people with special needs, like AIDS patients. Oh, we're halfway there. Oh. Oh! Living on a prayer. [USA Today]
• Wow, haven't heard from this guy in a while: Howard K. Stern is suing the man who used to be Larry Birkhead's bodyguard. And! He also has a $60 million libel suit pending against the company (and woman) that published Blonde Ambition: The Untold Story Behind Anna Nicole Smith's Death. He's not happy about the gay allegations. [Yahoo News]
• Jessica Simpson almost quit singing but Dolly Parton helped her with letters of encouragement, aww. [Yahoo News]
• Some idiot paparazzi was harassing Chris Brown, asking him if he was going to sing with the Jonas Brothers; Chris responded, "No, I'm doing a duet with your mom." [TMZ]
• Heath Ledger's estate has sold his Hollywood Hills home, nicknamed The Treehouse, for $2.5 million. It is unknown if Michelle Williams and Matilda will get part of the money from the sale. [News.com.au]
• Does Hugh Grant have a new 27-year-old ladyfriend? He was seen hanging with former model Catherine Fulmer in The Hamptons recently. Catherine, by the by, was wearing a vest, shorts and no shirt: Toplessness! [The Sun]
• Morrissey has split with his management firm after just three months. Please please please: Let me get what I want this time. [Reuters]
• A poster for Angelina Jolie's film Wanted was banned in the UK because it "glamorizes gun crime" and is "likely to provoke violence." It's the one where she's lying on the hood of a car holding a shotgun. [The First Post]
• Blind item! "Which hip-hop mogul had a hidden video camera installed in a light fixture in his bedroom? He likes to record his sessions with unsuspecting ladies for future replays." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which closeted actor who once dated an actress 'beat the hell out of her,' according to her friend?" [Page Six]
• The Library Of Congress will honor Stevie Wonder with the Gershwin Prize for Popular Song. This is only the second time this prize has been awarded: The first was in 2007, to Paul Simon. The award recognizes a musician's lifetime of work and Wonder will receive it on Feb. 23, 2009. Love's In Need Of Love Today, you guys. [AP]
• Rock band Great White, whose pyrotechnics sparked a nightclub fire that killed 100 people in 2003, will play $1 million to survivors and victims' relatives. [Newser, via AP]
• Who is Philip Olivier? He used to be on Hollyoaks or something. It doesn't matter: He is smoking hot. Click here to see. [The Sun]
• "Am I gay? If you want to know the truth, ask the people who go to bed with me." — The late Dusty Springfield, in a 1999 interview. [Page Six]
• "I have auditory hallucinations, I hear voices saying derogatory things, like I'm terrible and I'm going to die, and they're usually worse in the afternoon" — Brian Wilson. [Page Six]
• "I had the hot iron in my hand and he had a handful of my hair. He grabbed the hand with the iron in it and was pushing [it] toward my face. He ended up pressing that hot iron against my other arm. I heard my flesh sizzling, and the smell was sickening. I started screaming from the pain. He dropped the iron and I turned to run, and his nail swiped across my eyeball and shredded my cornea." — Sandy (Pepa) Denton of Salt-n-Pepa, on her abusive boyfriend, a man she calls "Brad." She is celibate now. [Rush & Molloy]

• Are not-so-secret couple Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds on the rocks? Sources say he wants to get hitched (and have kids) and she's not ready. Not ready. For Ryan Reynolds. It just doesn't seem right. [News.com.au]
  
• Naomi Campbell is banned from British Airways! How ever will she travel? Wait! Virgin Atlantic says she is welcome to fly with them. [Mirror]
  
• Brad Pitt tried to get a 95% discount on a place to stay while shooting a film in Texas — not because he's got mouths to feed, but because the film is a small-budget indie. He does have a lot of mouths to feed, though. [MSNBC]
  
• Meanwhile, Saint Angelina is on Capitol Hill with her brother James Haven, lobbying for Global Action for Children. [Politico]
  
• Is Beyoncé pregnant? Some are saying it was a shotgun wedding...just like her sister's? [Rush & Molloy]

• Kylie Minogue says that she was initially misdiagnosed: She had a mammogram and was given the all clear just a couple of weeks before she found a lump that was breast cancer. Scary. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Actress Anna Friel, plays Chuck on Pushing Daisies, says she used to party in Kate Moss's circle. "For the lifestyle Kate's said to lead - and I don't know whether that's true - she looks incredible." [The Star]
• The mayor of Bay City, Michigan wants to give Madonna a key to the city — she grew up in the area. Twenty years ago Madonna was declined a key to the city because she was "too risqué." How times have changed. [Yahoo News]
• Gossip Girl's Chace Crawford (Nate): Now dating new cast member Michelle Trachtenberg? [Page Six]
• Kirtsen Dunst and Ryan Gosling: Went on a date. [Page Six]
• Is Britney Spears going to be the face of a Danish furniture company? Because that makes no sense. [Page Six]
• Although Britney has been more stable as of late, Kevin Federline's lawyer says overnight visits with the kids are still a ways off. [E!]
• Oprah had a parrot in a cage at Maya Angelou's 80th birthday party as an homage to the poem "I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings." WTF. [Page Six]
• Orlando Bloom will star in Disney's Prince of Persia films based on a video game of the same name. The guy just can't stay away from the costume adventure flicks. [Page Six]
• A source says that when Paris Hilton was in South Africa, "Every time [she] saw something she liked, like a woman's dress, she would ask how much it was. That included a cheetah she saw at an animal park." [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which married modelizer likes to spread the love when he's away from home? Apparently, he thinks Sydney is far enough away that his famous Mrs. won't find out." [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which A-lister toked up with his younger co-star during filming of their megablockbuster? The duo, along with the youngster's dad, smoked pot in the star's trailer, causing the crew to create a code name for when they were stoned." [Rush & Molloy]
• Mischa Barton has plea-bargained her way out of her DUI case — she's a first-time offender. [TMZ]
• Which means: No jail time and a $1,700 fine. [People]
• Samaire Armstrong, who has been in Dirty Sexy Money, The OC and Entourage, says she feels "really good" now that she is out of rehab. [People]
• Julia Roberts has a boozy, difficult sister-in-law who's causing trouble in Julia's marriage. [MSNBC]
• Does Sienna Miller want her skinny man to "tone up"? [Mirror]
• Tiffani Thiessen says she won't be in the 90210 spinoff but she is planning a spinoff if her own — she's trying to get pregnant. [People]
• Different World star Jasmine Guy has filed for divorce. Get it, Whitley! [People]