What bothers me is she's claiming to "eat normally" for two weeks. And in another senatnce says she is on a "weight-lifting diet, heavy on the carbs, cream, and sugar" This is still not eating normal. Why would you take someone with ED and feed them food DESIGNED to add weight. One can eat normal without stuffing on scones and cakes. It would seem to me her issue is portions if she's never eaten a whole anything. The "experiment" was set up to fail and in a way validate the superiority she seems to hold for being a sample size. As much as I'd love to be in better shape I will take my sample size x 2 self to the cheesecake factory, enjoy physical affection, and enjoy putting my extra ounces on display because even thought my wii fit says I'm borderline overweight, someone always compliments my curves. We all come in different sizes and it makes me sad we can't see the beauty in them all. My slender friends would prefer bigger curves, my athletic friends wish they weren't bulky, my curvy friends wish they had a smaller stomach or less cellulite, and I fall into this trap too. I wish we'd all stop stepping on each other on the way to the pedestal and lift each other up.
i'm just thinking about how I used to be proud of the fact i wasn't menstruating. now i adore tony bourdain and enjoy trying recipes-within-novels such as in Under The Tuscan Sun - and the reality is that i'm not that much bigger now than i was then (15 years later) but i'm a very different, more whole person. i love being in a relationship with someone who also loves food, travel and enjoying life in a 'healthy hedonist' way. i feel sorry for her. she deserves that too but her obsession with herself means that she'll never find someone who will love her with the equivalent passion. i don't know anyone who is that self-obsessed that is in a healthy, happy relationship.
There was a woman at my gym on the machine in front of me the other day who had all of the classic anorexic attributes: protruding backbone and back ribs, thighs and calves skinnier than knees, arms skinnier than elbows, hair thin and malnourished. She actually looked like the anorexic women they feature on some talk show like "Maury". The ones with titles like "I weigh 76 pounds and still feel fat".
It was painful watching her because she was struggling to keep moving on the machine, and I could hear her gasping for breath (not unusual when working out, but she was really struggling). I wanted to give her a hug, honestly. It struck me that my gym requires that you get a note from a doctor if you are more than 30lbs overweight, but they have no similar requirement for people who are seriously underweight. It's a real medical problem, just like obesity. Why not treat it as such?
And now, reading this article by Liz Jones, I wonder how anyone suffering from anorexia manages to overcome it. You get praise for being skinny, plus you get a sense of control/discipline. It must be just as addictive as doing heroin. I have sympathy for Ms. Jones, even if her article does make her sound obnoxious. She's in denial, just like a drug addict.
@Cicada: Your gym seriously does that?? Way to discourage people from working out. Also, how do they define "30 lbs overweight"? What guidelines do they use?
It should more be people who have worked out in X years should get a note from their doctor before working out, not by weight, given that I've had my ass kicked in triathlons by women who would probably be considered by many to be 30 lbs overweight (most tris have an entire "Athenas and Clydesdale" division, and no doctors' notes required).
And yeah, being malnourished puts you at serious risk for heart issues, so that woman may have been in danger.
@formergr: I think it's a legal thing to protect them if someone has a heart attack or something while working out. They have a whole list of conditions that require a doctor's note, including heart disease and scoliosis. I don't know how they enforce it (or if they do at all), especially since you have to self report the conditions.
This is more dangerous to young people than violence and sex on TV. Keep it away from the youth! I can't even imagine having to deal with a loved one who felt this way; I would feel so fucking helpless and honestly, would have a very hard time being a rock-solid source of empathy.
@phoblog: not true - at least not true of US high street stores which cut on the large size, i wear a UK size 12 and that's a US size 8, a US size ten is way too big for me.
I am going to treatment on monday for my bulimia/anorexia. I am scared to death. But if someone told me i was going to need to eat 3,000 calories of butter, cream, bread, etc. and keep it down, i would Flip The FUCK Out. I dont understand why she would agree to this. Its almost attention seeking?
@Cecilia Is TresChic: Ive been to treatment so many times, but this is the first time i am making the decision as an adult that i need help. There will be no force feeding and power struggles. I refuse to start nursing school with my current behaviors. However, i am still terrified, and am battling with the "must lose 10 more lbs by monday" thoughts.
As someone who has never been anywhere near an eating disorder I don't get this line...
"I've always hated being touched, hugged, naked, half-dressed on holiday, in case I'm found wanting, in case someone felt or saw an extra ounce of flesh."
She says she feels proud for being skinny but then doesn't like to wear a bikini? I don't understand, if she feel so accomplished for not eating wouldn't she WANT to wear a bikini since she feels superior to other people for her thinness?
"I love my concave stomach""
I guess I'm wondering whats it all for to her? Why do this to yourself if you are still, in the end, not satisfied with your body?
OR is it all about the mental side of it, having nothing to do with what she actually looks at.
This described me before I got pregnant and had my son. Not that I'm saying this woman should have a baby, but I got a profound sense of respect for my body as the pregnancy progressed, and the fragility of life as I cared for my newborn.
Now, I'm back to my unhealthy thin-ness, and I know I have a problem, but I've talked to my doctor and it's now just a question of going in and dealing with my eating issues. It's a big step, but I see my beautiful son and cannot live with myself knowing that there is a problem with how I eat and by not doing something about it, I'm robbing my son of his mother, I'm robbing myself from a healthy life.
Sorry if that was too personal. I also lost my job today. I feel like sharing.
@ms.creant: Oh man, you've had a tough day, I'm so sorry. Try to have some good quality time with your son tonight if you can , so that you have some good thoughts for at least a bit.
My beloved sister got pregnant at age 17 while in the throes of an eating disorder. She had not menstruated for months and therefore did not think she needed birth control. Ladies, please protect yourself even if you're not menstruating!
@Buenavista: one of the finest chocolate bars ever made.
@OldEnough2BYourMama: it's true actually living in the US has completely cured me of a desire for chocolate, I haven't eaten it in months because I dislike the difference in taste so much.
It's really interesting, and I think relatable, that she feels "secretly proud" of being so skinny. I think a lot of women do, but hate saying it (or love saying it, depending). When you're the "skinny" friend, you get used to feeling secretly, sometimes unconsciously, good about that, and that's part of the reason, I think, a lot of women have such mixed feelings when a close friend loses a ton of weight.
Not that I think most of this article is so self-aware as that, but definitely admitting to being proud of being slim is honest in a way women are not "supposed" to be.
sadly, it's not going to be just osteoporsis that she needs to worry about. Her hormones, blood, heart, muscle, joints, skin, hair, nails and lungs are probably all affected by her lack of proper eating.
@brendastarlet is on it: This. And considering all of these things they fed her lots of carbs, creams and sugars. That's so many levels of wrong! I'm surprised her body didn't have major issues with it.
@brendastarlet is on it: Probably so. I'm actually wondering if the size gain in her belly is really stored fat, or just food that stalled partway along because her poor shocked digestive system didn't know what to do with it (or bloat from being unable to digest it all). I'm very surprised she didn't get violently ill from all this. Sudden diet changes like that can really freak your body out.
I seriously feel uneasy right now. Like I shouldn't have read that. Like they shouldn't have published it.
It's hard for me too, because on one hand I see that she's dealt with an ED for probably most of her life, and is thick in delusion and I feel bad for her not getting the therapy she obviously needs. On the other hand, her attitude is incredibly smug, superior, and destructive, and contemptuous for those who don't fit her ideal mold, and could be triggering for those in the throes of ED recovery.
The only plus point for me of reading this article is that none of the comments in the article are encouraging her to continue as she is, or berating her unnecessarily. It may sound silly, but I was worried that Mail readers would be harsh to her but overall they seem to be sympathetic and honest with her.
@nessalicious: The commenters there surprise me sometimes. Anyone who dares criticise the figure of a woman in a bikini or says "Ew, she's just fat!!! Cellulite yuk!!!" is slapped down quickly. Or maybe it's just all the Jezzies commenting there, too..
I don't know whether to feel pity or exasperation for Liz Jones (who, by the way, praised Jezebel to her readers!). Sometimes she has such a clear insight into her own condition and sometimes you just want to give her a good shake she is so foolish. She always finds fault with any man who takes a genuine interest in her and is forever pining for the men who date and then reject her. We ae the same age so sometimes I feel hard pressed to feel THAT sorry for a woman who has a very highly paid job in the media in which she weekly doles out her woe is me stories AND she boasts about the large farmhouse and acres of land she owns in oneof the most desirable parts of England. Her one redeeming feature is that she has the grace to realise at times she is being simply ridiculous.
@Rare Affinity: I think she neither needs our pity or exasperation, but a therapist. A good shake would do nothing for her as her 'insight' into her condition is masked by a good deal of manipulative and negative thinking which shows that she is far from the former anorexic that the article portrays her as. Her highly paid job and big home are envious but she still needs help to stop her highly destructive behaviour that you belittle by calling 'ridiculous'.
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It was painful watching her because she was struggling to keep moving on the machine, and I could hear her gasping for breath (not unusual when working out, but she was really struggling). I wanted to give her a hug, honestly. It struck me that my gym requires that you get a note from a doctor if you are more than 30lbs overweight, but they have no similar requirement for people who are seriously underweight. It's a real medical problem, just like obesity. Why not treat it as such?
And now, reading this article by Liz Jones, I wonder how anyone suffering from anorexia manages to overcome it. You get praise for being skinny, plus you get a sense of control/discipline. It must be just as addictive as doing heroin. I have sympathy for Ms. Jones, even if her article does make her sound obnoxious. She's in denial, just like a drug addict.
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It should more be people who have worked out in X years should get a note from their doctor before working out, not by weight, given that I've had my ass kicked in triathlons by women who would probably be considered by many to be 30 lbs overweight (most tris have an entire "Athenas and Clydesdale" division, and no doctors' notes required).
And yeah, being malnourished puts you at serious risk for heart issues, so that woman may have been in danger.
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I dont understand why she would agree to this. Its almost attention seeking?
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"I've always hated being touched, hugged, naked, half-dressed on holiday, in case I'm found wanting, in case someone felt or saw an extra ounce of flesh."
She says she feels proud for being skinny but then doesn't like to wear a bikini? I don't understand, if she feel so accomplished for not eating wouldn't she WANT to wear a bikini since she feels superior to other people for her thinness?
"I love my concave stomach""
I guess I'm wondering whats it all for to her? Why do this to yourself if you are still, in the end, not satisfied with your body?
OR is it all about the mental side of it, having nothing to do with what she actually looks at.
Pardon me in advance for my ignorance BTW.
06/09/09
Now, I'm back to my unhealthy thin-ness, and I know I have a problem, but I've talked to my doctor and it's now just a question of going in and dealing with my eating issues. It's a big step, but I see my beautiful son and cannot live with myself knowing that there is a problem with how I eat and by not doing something about it, I'm robbing my son of his mother, I'm robbing myself from a healthy life.
Sorry if that was too personal. I also lost my job today. I feel like sharing.
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Hugs to you.
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My beloved sister got pregnant at age 17 while in the throes of an eating disorder. She had not menstruated for months and therefore did not think she needed birth control. Ladies, please protect yourself even if you're not menstruating!
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@OldEnough2BYourMama: it's true actually living in the US has completely cured me of a desire for chocolate, I haven't eaten it in months because I dislike the difference in taste so much.
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Not that I think most of this article is so self-aware as that, but definitely admitting to being proud of being slim is honest in a way women are not "supposed" to be.
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It's hard for me too, because on one hand I see that she's dealt with an ED for probably most of her life, and is thick in delusion and I feel bad for her not getting the therapy she obviously needs. On the other hand, her attitude is incredibly smug, superior, and destructive, and contemptuous for those who don't fit her ideal mold, and could be triggering for those in the throes of ED recovery.
I think that's why I'm uncomfortable.
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