Donald Trump is not going to be the president.

If this quote, Instagrammed Wednesday by one Britney Jean Spears, makes it seem like our favorite smiler bought a cultural studies textbook and started playing telephone with herself in the privacy of her own consciousness, that’s because that’s exactly what she’s doing.

I mean—did you? To clarify what I’m asking here: Why did you think the store was named Staples? Because they are an office supply store and sell literal staples?

Hello, small human on a minuscule planet. There’s some nifty stuff going on in the infinite universe. Specifically, the New Horizons spacecraft—or, to use the technical term, “space thingy”—has completed its a nine-and-a-half year trip to Pluto and scientists are getting sexy close-up shots of our favorite dwarf…