Volvo just launched WhatDrivesEdward.com. Because nothing says says "vampire" like a shiny Swedish "crossover" vehicle. (Watch out! The dramatic violin music on that website might… put you to sleep.)

Writes AdWeek's Kenneth Hein:

"Presumably with Twilight being a tween girl franchise, they are hoping that the message might be picked up by moms to use the Volvo to take their adolescent little vampires to soccer practice," said Lucian James of the brand strategy consultancy Agenda.

Wow, that sounds… absolutely ridiculous! Here's how they're tying together Edward Cullen's creepy obsessive need to take care of Bella with a $34,000 hatchback:

There's more to life than a Volvo. There's having the power to keep safe what you hold most dear.

Lame.

Just like there are 7 vampires better than Edward Cullen, there are at least two spooky cars better than his dumb Volvo:

The Munsters' car.

The Addams Family car.

Because just like Edward, a the Volvo XC60 doesn't have any bite.

Twilight's 'New Moon' Rises For Volvo [AdWeek]
WhatDrivesEdward.com [Volvo]

Earlier: 7 Vampires Better Than Twilight's Edward Cullen

Salon's Laura Miller explains that fiction like the Sookie Stackhouse novels and the Anita Blake books is sometimes called "paranormal romance," even though they break the rules of "romance" novels: the heroes are not swashbuckling studs but deeply flawed; people rarely live happily ever after; relationships are "uncertain and ambiguous."

Miller also notes that many of these books are shelved "haphazardly" in stores — " in their romance, science fiction or horror sections, none of which is a perfect fit."

Still, readers seek out these kinds of stories, and Miller gets to the heart of what makes vampire fiction so irresistible:

Urban fantasy seems equally concerned with the erotic allure of masculine power and how women come to terms with it. The teenage narrator of Stephenie Meyer's "Twilight" may swoon in the arms of her masterful vampire boyfriend without a second thought, but the adult heroines created by Hamilton, Briggs, Harris and dozens of other authors oscillate between resistance and consent, worrying away at insolvable romantic algorithms. Is it possible to bed an alpha male without submitting to his will? Does his protection come at too high a cost? And can a man who sometimes needs your protection ever be quite as exciting?

A surprising number of urban fantasy heroines get into romantic triangles with a vampire and a werewolf, a rivalry redolent of more than a B-movie monster feud. If vampires are upper-class — rich, well-dressed, owners of nightclubs and vast yet shadowy business interests — werewolves tend to be blue-collar types, working in construction and driving pickup trucks. Vampires engage in labyrinthine political intrigues, while werewolves prize loyalty to their pack mates over everything else, potentially at the expense of their commitment to the heroine, who can feel excluded from the intense, nonverbal connection they share and their obsession with pecking orders.

Complicated power dynamics between men and women; hints of danger, highbrow vs. lowbrow — that's what interests me — but rarely is it done well. In fact, there are plenty of cheesy, poorly written books in the genre, which is why (sometimes) a person is loathe to admit they're into it. I've had my fill of Anne Rice, checked out some Laurell K. Hamilton; the Blue Bloods book was okay, and Blood And Chocolate was fine. I even read frothy stuff like Fangs For The Memories. (Why do they always have to be virgins?!?!) And yes, I read the Twilight books, but I did not enjoy them. I'm about to check out Alex Flinn's Beastly, which isn't technically a vamp book, but whatever. Any suggestions? And what do you look for in a vamp story?

Buffy Fans: Read This [Salon]

Earlier: Vampires Will Not Die
7 Vampires Better Than Twilight's Edward Cullen
Twilight's Stephenie Meyer Admits Her Writing Sorta Sucks

The hoax appears to be based on an urban myth circulated by e-mail since 2005. Police departments around the country have been getting calls about the texts, which are tailored to each local area and claim gangs are killing women at Walmart as part of their initiation rites. The texts are making the rounds in at least 16 states, including Maryland, Delaware, Florida, North Carolina, Colorado, Texas, Alabama, Georgia, Oklahoma, Missouri, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana and Hawaii. It's a particularly inopportune time for Walmart, since many stores are holding Twilight parties at midnight on Saturday, but it's not clear if this is a coincidence or a coordinated effort to sabotage the event. [Advertising Age]