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Teens Respond To Tyra Show On Sexting
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par3
03/24/09

In reply to Teens Respond To Tyra Show On Sexting
i think girls are trying to take porn into their own hands at this point. they may see porn as a threat to their sexyiness. kids are so obsessed with being sexy that they need to out-sex porn and be porn stars themselves.
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The Queen of No
03/23/09

In reply to Teens Respond To Tyra Show On Sexting
This whole article and those posts just really disturbed me. I didn't have a cell phone until I was 19 years old! I don't even know what to say...
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Liz11685
03/23/09

In reply to Teens Respond To Tyra Show On Sexting
I am not so much appalled by this "sexting" thing- teens are going to explore sexually no matter what and there is no point in slut shaming the girls that do it. Echoing many other comments, the problem I see with today's youth is the complete lack of spelling and grammar being taught - or if it is taught it is not being used. I really do believe that we are sliding towards an America that looks a lot like the recent comedy film "Idiocracy". "Text-speak" is completely adding to this. I am only 23 and I have never typed a "u" or a "2" into my texts, I use complete words. Kids are either never learning or forgetting how to spell. Yikes.
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Hazel
03/23/09

In reply to Teens Respond To Tyra Show On Sexting
Also, WHY DO THESE KIDS HAVE CELL PHONES?? Let's go back to the hey-day of beepers or something.
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ihateyourescalade
03/23/09

In reply to Teens Respond To Tyra Show On Sexting
"my boyfriend and i used to send sexy explicit messages 2 each other on facebook nd i evn made videos of myself masturbating and we used to sext about what we had done and what we were goin 2 do."

I'm not sure which grosses me out more--teenagers sending each other amateur porn, or their hideous text-mangling of the English language. I am an old, old woman.
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chatterboxwriting
03/23/09

In reply to Teens Respond To Tyra Show On Sexting
Not to be a Picky Polly, but perhaps these people should be learning proper spelling and grammar before sexting. Some of the writing is so bad that I think I'd probably be confused if I received a sext from one of the girls. Kind of like on Friends when Rachel was writing a romance novel and she wrote something about a guy's "throbbing pens."
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gordiva
03/23/09

In reply to Teens Respond To Tyra Show On Sexting
These girls need a spell checker. Goodness, I know I was a better writer than that at age 16...these kids are as dumb as they are sexually active, which is worst!
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NefariousNewt
03/23/09

@gordiva: Unfortunately, many a spell-checker is programmed to recognize certain texting conventions. They are, after all, written mainly by 20-something geeks.
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sara-without-an-h
03/23/09

In reply to Teens Respond To Tyra Show On Sexting
I read an article about how the next generation would be much more relaxed about sex tapes, and prurient pictures, since employers and bosses will also have this stuff floating on the web. Maybe we are the last generation to see politicians or celebrities shamed because of such content.
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argle-bargle? or fou-ferraw?
03/23/09

@sara-without-an-h: that's interesting! i've heard the same said about tattoos and piercings. it makes sense that it would follow for sex tapes and pictures, especially with the advent of social networking and how prevalent that's become.
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hortense
03/23/09

In reply to Teens Respond To Tyra Show On Sexting
In my day, all we had were Color Me Badd lyrics etched into desktops.
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msAnthrope
03/23/09

In reply to Teens Respond To Tyra Show On Sexting
when i was 14, 15, 16, i used to exchange "dirty" letters with my then "boyfriends." this was all that was available to us. if cell phones and the internet existed back then, i'm sure we'd have used them as well to convey our sexy ideas.

these guys could've just as easily shown their friends my letter and they would've all known about my slutty thoughts. and who really knows whether he ever did this or not? he probably did! i guess i didn't have to worry about them actually seeing a naked photo or video of me though.

i'm not sure why so many people are surprised by this. was everybody really so chaste when they were in their teens?
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Ichigo
03/23/09

@msAnthrope: Yeah, we used to do this too... I'm a little surprised at all of the outrage. How soon we forget, right?
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slowpoke.r
03/23/09

@msAnthrope: I didn't do exactly that but lots of similar things. And I'm also surprised by how many commenters didn't, and didn't know anyone who did.

I know I was a very uninhibited person at a young age but I had no idea I was so in the minority. The "16 year olds shouldn't be involved in sexual activity" thread is mind-blowing to me.

And for the record, I had plenty of self-worth along with self-esteem, despite (or maybe because of) my precocious sexuality.

In closing, I probably read too much Anais Nin as a teenager.
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msAnthrope
03/23/09

@DeenieFenner:

i get that putting naked pix of yourself online is a disaster waiting to happen. but my mom found one of the notes meant for my boyfriend. you can imagine how she freaked out! but it wasn't the end of the world like she tried to make it out.

and like i said, instead of a naked picture of me, my boyfriend at the time could've just as easily have shown to his friends my dirty letters to him. maybe he did. that could be argued, just as "dangerous."

when you're in your early teens, the hormones are on overdrive. kids are gonna be into expressing their sexuality no matter what. it's part of life.
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msAnthrope
03/23/09

@slowpoke.r:

i was pretty uninhibited too. i really didn't care about anybody else's opinion. most people were in cliques anyway and were totally hypocritical about what people outside the clique should and shouldn't do.

maybe the difference is just sending dirty stuff to random guys one doesn't know, instead of a "boyfriend." when i was in my teens i was exchanged racy letters with guys i was "dating." (ha, dating when you're 14!)
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slowpoke.r
03/23/09

@msAnthrope: You know, I think you've hit it on the head. I was always "dating" someone; it was always a "relationship". I have to use quotes because looking back they weren't relationships they way I define a relationship as an adult, but it was never random guys, it was always friends/ guys in my social circle. If the girls in the article are sending things to random dudes, that is a very different scene.

Ditto too on not caring about anyone else's opinion. I wasn't even really in a group- I had certain friends who were closer or that I spent more time with, but I had tons of different friends from all different groups and from other school districts as well. Cliques never made sense to me, they seemed so incredibly limiting.
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SarahMC
03/23/09

In reply to Teens Respond To Tyra Show On Sexting
In all the stories I've read about "sexting," the focus is always on the technology rather than the dysfunctional relationship between boys and girls, wherein girls will do ANYTHING to get boys' short-lived "approval." They confuse self-esteem (I know I'm hot!!) with self-worth. It's super troubling.
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morninggloria
03/23/09

@SarahMC: You're just jealous of all the hot teenagers.
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BlondeGrlz
03/23/09

In reply to Teens Respond To Tyra Show On Sexting
Making good decisions when you're 15 is hard enough without the opportunity to make them so instantly and publicly. All I can say is THANK FRICKIN GOD there were no cell phones when I was in high school. For once, being old has worked in my favor.
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Hazel
03/23/09

@BlondeGrlz: I think the boys in my high school would've been embarrassed to get such texts. Thank god for tiny midwestern farming communities.
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lilbobbytables
03/23/09

@BlondeGrlz: Seconded. I scare every teen I know because I keep waxing lyrical on the genius of Polaroids.
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morninggloria
03/23/09

In reply to Teens Respond To Tyra Show On Sexting
RULE NUMBER ONE, FUTURE LADIES:

Do not record yourself naked or doing the sexytimes unless you are okay with the possibility that it could be copied and electronically distributed. This isn't me judging you for being sexual. This isn't me shaming you. I'm just saying that if you don't want your naked self splashed across the interwebs by a pissed off ex lover (because even though you might think you and High School Boyfriend are totally going to be together forever, chances are overwhelmingly that you aren't, and chances are also that one or both of you is going to go through a period of time where you are hurt) then DO NOT DO THE NAKED PICTURES THING.
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LaFemme
03/23/09

@morninggloria: Agreed. And I really think very little of this is part of these girls exploring the wonders of their sexuality. This stuff is all done for the guys, and to be popular. It's like the girls with low self esteem in my time who would go to the bathroom and give blowjobs to any guy who asked. They are not doing it because they love giving blowjobs, they do it because they are desperate for approval from these guys. When you do these things, you are going to either have the pictures spread around the school, or you are going to get a reputation for having no self respect. It isn't that hard to stay away.
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BlondeGrlz
03/23/09

@morninggloria: I know for a fact an ex has at least a few topless pictures of one very sorry Blondegrlz. Hopefully he's been kind enough to delete them at this point, but it still means I will never run for public office.

Seriously, digital cameras were a TERRIBLE invention - why did we think for even a second that just because no one has to develop the film it means the photos are private??
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NefariousNewt
03/23/09

@morninggloria: I wonder if sales of Polaroid cameras will start picking up?
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Hazel
03/23/09

@NefariousNewt: Polaroid is discontinuing their film =( As a longtime Polaroid enthusiast, I was heartbroken to hear it.
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lilbobbytables
03/23/09

@Hazel jugs you: WHAT?????????????????????????????????

Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw.
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morninggloria
03/23/09

@BlondeGrlz: I know for a fact that an ex has a video. We had a very messy breakup, and he lives in the same city as I (and in fact works only a block away from where I work, so I see him once every couple of weeks-- WHEE!). I hope that the computer it was on crashed or something. It's very awkward knowing that your ex has a sexytimes video and could email it to your mom at a moment's notice.
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Hazel
03/23/09

@lilbobbytables: Sorry. And if you want to buy up what's left, you'll notice that it's doubled in price.

/end threadjack
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angelina jolie-laide is a gaudy tulip
03/23/09

@Hazel jugs you: Not anymore.

[www.independent.co.uk]
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Samanthrax
03/23/09

In reply to Teens Respond To Tyra Show On Sexting
Between this and 'The Secret Life of the American Teenager' (which is, I'm sure, TOTALLY realistic!!) I am litteraly shocked at hour sexually prolific these kids are.

I must have been one weird, asexual kid.
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Samanthrax
03/23/09

@Samanthrax: Literally!
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Samanthrax
03/23/09

@Samanthrax: oh man... hour = how.

I quit! Good day.
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Laulau
03/23/09

@Samanthrax: I do not know why, but I totally watch "The Secret Life". Obviously it's not realistic, with classic lines like "I think he will make me a good and faithful husband some day" and (from brother to sister) "I'm too young to be adopted and you're too pretty to go to jail". Ick. Notice, however, that there are only two characters who are regularly sexually active (obviously they are total sluts, one with an absentee dad, and one who was sexually abused), and one "good girl" who had sex once and got pregnant.
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Samanthrax
03/23/09

@Laulau: I stare at the television like an idiot when it is on. The writing is awful... like when the virgin got birth control from her mom and she told everyone at school she got birth control even though she has no inention of using it? Like shouted it in the middle of the hallway???
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Laulau
03/23/09

@Samanthrax: Or how the slutty girl keeps talking about how she has the hots for her "brother" and then acts mentally impaired when people are squicked out. Like, would it kill you to say step-brother?

I am thinking about this way more than I need to, but it's a source of constant confusion to me that I continue to watch. On the other hand, for a show by Brenda Hampton of 7th Heaven, I think there are some progressive attitudes towards sex. At least, the gay couple is portrayed in a positive light, so ... minor points?

It feels so good to get this off my chest.
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BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit)
03/23/09

In reply to Teens Respond To Tyra Show On Sexting
Notes to self:

1. Never give child phone with testing capabilities

2. Make sure daughter knows that having no boyfriend in high school didn't kill her mother

3. Make subliminal recordings of spelling and grammar to play while hypothetical girl child sleeps

4. Purchase chastity belt and baseball bat
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ihateyourescalade
03/23/09

@BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit): You're my kind of mom.

What's amazing to me are the parents who give their 9-year-olds iPhones and let them have computers in their rooms. Are these people stupid, or just neglectful?
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Eeva
03/23/09

@BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit): I'm going with "Sew child into heavy-duty wetsuit for first twenty years of life."
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JLady
03/23/09

@ihateyourescalade: Why do you need a fancy cell phone in high school. Maybe I'm showing my age here, but in my day, we didn't have cell phones and we did fine. There was a family computer, you could have a phone in your room when you turned 12 (not your own number though) and we all watched the same t.v.

This did not make me a hermit and it did not impede me from expressing my sexuality, but it did lessen the instantaneous nature of that expression, giving me time to think about things - something a 12-year-old with a cell phone doesn't have.
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