I have A big prob, I got engaged in May of last year and right away we started planning our wedding. We booked a place that was very well known for their great food. On this wed. we went to the food tasting to start picking what foods we would have out. My fiance, my mother, my grandmother (93 yrs old), a bridesmaid, a groomsman, and my soon to be step daughter (6). Right away the owner started using bad language that I would not like to say here. He called my fiance a "jew bastard", my man of honor a "gay ***". My brother is marring [sic] us and he kept calling him "the internet minister". He hung all over my bridesmaid and said he was going to get her dunk [sic] and take her to the hotel down the street. My step daughter asked why her uncle is a "***".

I cried all night and Matt put a stop on the check we gave him. Matt told the owner I didnt feel comfortable having it there and the owner said he was taking pain meds he never took before and he was sorry. He said we can have any foods we want buffet an ice sculptur,and many other "free" things. I still just cant have it there for fear that he will embarress me infrount of even more of my friends and family.He used bad language infrount of our child of 6 years and my 93 year old nan,he used many hate words that pertained to my bestfriend and my soon to be husband,he sexually harresed my bridesmaid now he wont give me my down payment back....I only have 3 months to come up with something.......what do you guys think?will I even get it back with court or am I wasting my time since it says nonrefundable...he was unexceptable...im going crazy please help!!:(

Please Help:( [The Knot]

ootmother2:well, there are a good number of terrorists hiding in NYC. Does he drive a cab?

The full predicament, from goldenshell84

hi everyone, i am seriously going to have the worst wedding ever and i'm really upset about everything that is happening. i have been living with my boyfriend for about a year now and we are planning to get engaged this summer and married next summer. unfortunately, my parents are threatening (and i really think they mean it) to cut me off/not support wedding/have no contact with me because they really do not like him (for a variety of reasons, mainly b/c he is middle eastern and 5.5 yrs older).

I live in manhattan. NYC weddings are VERY expensive. Aside from that, how old are you and how old is your FI? Maybe I can help here if I know more details

oootmother: i am about to turn 24 and he is 29. i would be 25 before we got married. keep in mind my mom got married at 22! i think its more about the middle eastern thing than the age thing, to be honest. he is also muslim, and my mom continues to refer to him as a terrorist. i could not make this up! ....he was born and raised in the us and is not a practicing muslim; neither are his parents. he also does NOT drive a taxi! haha he has a great job in banking.

Sounds like a winner! Ootmother2 is officially no longer so compassionate!

golden, why don't you try the NEY (not yet engaged)board. The ladies there are super helpful and know how to handle this type of situation! j/k about the cab, hope you got the joke

A "joke"! Janice was not so amused!

Janice12543: "well, there are a good number of terrorists hiding in NYC. Does he drive a cab?" Wow what a racist remark. My fiance is half Egyptian, and I am proud of it. NOT EVERYONE THAT IS OF MIDDLE EASTERN DECENT IS A TERRORIST! I Can't believe you even said that.

SnoopyLuv: Janice, calm down, for real. My grandfather is Jordanian and recieved alot of harrasment after the attacks. Neither he nor my family members let it effect them in such a way. People say stupid things, get over it.

IrishBrideND: Janice...it was said sarcastically.

zoebean45: Don't waste your time explaining things to Janice. Trust me on this.

Janice12543: Maybe it was a joke, but it isn't something to joke about.

ootmother2: Janice, get over yourself!

Janice12543: Wow what a reponse. BRAVO. You were wrong and now you have nothing to say but get over yourself.

megani: Janice, why dont you go eat something... like your hand. Then we don't have to read your crap anymore.

Janice12543: ott you area racist. Call me dumb all you want. I really don't give a fuckkkk. You are the worst kind of person there is.

At which point goldenshell84 defends her bitchy bridezillaren:

the other day at work i called myself a spaz and someone got really offended because apparently using the word spaz is rude toward epileptic people (?). bottom line, i'm sure you didn't mean that in a rude way, but i could see how a lot of people would get extremely offended by it. it's sad that there is this kind of prejudice about middle eastern people in our country that we are so quick to assume someone is saying something rude or being prejudicial.

But the last word is all ootmomma's

ootmother2: goldenshell is going to be very surprised to see that her post was hijacked.

Mrowdy writes:

So, FI and I were talking last night about who we are going to have in the wedding. I told him my BFF is going to be My MOH, my other 3 closest friends and 2 of my cousins are going to be BMs, and 2 of my little cousins are going to be Junior Bridesmaids. So, I told him that means he will have a best man, 5 groomsmen, and 2 junior groomsmen. Fine, he says, but he doesn't know if he can or wants to find that many of his friends to be in the wedding. But, that's another story. Then he tells me he wants his friend, let's call him John, to be his best man. I about FREAKED! John has a bad reputation in our circle. My BFF is married now, but she had a long history with John, who treated her very poorly. John has treated everyone he ever went out with poorly. When he was with my BFF, he tried to make out with me once when I was drunk. It caused a problem between me and my BFF for a while until I convinced her that nothing happened. I DO NOT WANT JOHN IN OUR WEDDING, MUCH LESS AS THE BEST MAN!!! WHAT WILL WE DO ABOUT HIM WALKING OUT WITH MY BFF, THE MOH???? Anyway, I didn't say anything last night but I did give him a strange look. I know he and 'John' have beenfriends for a long time, but John is like a black sheep as far as my friends are concerned. How can I tell FI that I don't want John in our wedding?

So many things wrong with this post...where to begin.Let's start with your actual question. FI gets to choose his best man, and it looks like he did so based on his relationship with the guy. "John's" relationship with other people does not come into play here. If your MOH can't suck it up for one day for her BFF, she sucks. Second, Just because you're having 7 or 8 people on your side does not mean he has to do the same. Third, WTF is a Junior bridesmaid. Either they're bridesmaids or they're not. Junior simply implies that you think they're inferior to the others because they're younger. Do you really want them to know you feel that way about them? And now you're making FI do the same to a couple of young boys so your sides will match? Not good.

OMG, I am laughing hysterically at this post! Symmetry is cuter! She must have symmetry! WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN! And best man is a bad seed for trying to kiss her when they were 16 and both single. And she remembers this and doesn't consider it a funny childhood memory! Oh god, tears are flowing. Bless your doomed 21 year old soul.

You're kidding me right? If not, sounds like you need to grow up. How is it OK for you to tell him who he can and cannot have in the wedding? In all fairness, if it's going to cause such a problem, why don't you make someone else your MOH?

The way I see it, you caused this problem for yourself by insisting that he pick so damn many groomsmen.Lie in that bed you made sister.

Are you freakin kidding me? That is the most immature, ridiculous thing I have ever heard of. If this is how the two of you still behave in a relationship you should seriously reconsider if you are ready for a marriage.

You are a tool.

Sigh! If only we were All-American Dreamers — then we could have the Calphalon Stainless Steal Roaster we've always dreamed of!

TheKnot.com

Beth writes:

Just wanted to get opinions on this one, because it's something we've been struggling with...

Our best man's girlfriend is known for her atrocious behavior when out socially. All of FI's friends and their SOs can't stand going out with them because her behavior is so embarrassing to everyone around her. At the various weddings we have been to with her she has knocked a statute over into her face and bled everywhere, fell down drunk and knocked out her teeth and bled everywhere, hit on a groomsman's father (complete with inappropriate touching) in front of said groomsman's mother, gotten KICKED outfor being unable to stand for more than 5 seconds at a time, etc.

Obviously, lots of people (including our friends) get drunk at weddings, but all of our friends can act appropriately and have a good time. This is not the kind of person that I want at my wedding, but we can't not invite her, as she is the best man's GF of 2+ years, so I'm stuck with her.

So my question to you all is this: is it better to have the BP dates all sit at the head table, where he can keep an eye on her, even though I don't want to be around her, or is it better for her to be as far away from me as possible, even though it will mean she will be left unsupervised?

I know this sounds really mean, but this girl is truly miserable. She also hates me, so I am particularly concerned that she will act like an a$$ just to act like an a$$.

I'm not even going to read the post. The correct answer (based solely on the title) is: tranquilizer gun. Spend a week doing target practice and you'll be ready to roll.

Um...why not tell best man that his girlfriend better not *** up your wedding and that he better watch her and keep an eye on her. Why would you want to spend your whole entire wedding reception staring at anything but your new husband?

You'll most likely have to hire security for the night. Have someone point her out to the officer and tell him to keep an eye on her. If she becomes belligerent, have her escorted out. Let her b/f take care of her from there.

I would not have her on front stage as she'll probably fall off. She'll manage to make a scene and be center of attention at some point anyway. Watering down her drinks won't help cause she probably carries her own stash and takes pills as well. You'll be lucky if she gets smashed and passes out early. Hopefully the best man has the presence of mind to realize this and "handle" her which he apparently likes doing. If not I would question his judgment and his appropriateness as a friend.

They say: Want to really surprise your sweetheart? Cut out the bottom of a big box, wrap it with pretty paper and ribbon, and attach a card that says, "What's inside the box is a gift to last a lifetime." "Deliver" yourself to his or her office or front door.
We say: Didn't Timberlake already do this on SNL?

They say: Freeze the ring in a homemade Popsicle, and give your sweet two treats in one!
We say: Hope you know the Heimlich!

They say: Write your proposal in sunscreen on your tummy, so that your tan will "stencil in" the words. She will be so touched you've taken such an, um, interesting approach, she will accept immediately.
We say: Loser.

They say: Draw a hopscotch board on the sidewalk and invite your honey out for a game. Once he or she has succumbed to a little childhood play, replace the pebble you're using with the real rock!
We say: Don't fucking throw jewelry at us.

They say: Steal from that famous Say Anything scene — park yourself outside her house with a stereo blaring your favorite tune and propose on the front lawn
We say: Restraining order.

They say: Play Hangman and have the phrase be "Marry Me."
We say: Noose... marriage. We get it already.

100 Ways To Pop The Question [TheKnot.com]