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Requiem For The History Channel: A Nerd's Rant

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Her Grace
11/12/09

In reply to Requiem For The History Channel: A Nerd's Rant
You missed the most out of place and awesome show, MonsterQuest. An hour of searching for bigfoot/the jersey devil/actual sharks swimming up rivers hey wait a second those aren't mythical monsters...it is fabulous in its crazy. #thehistorychannel
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Red-headed bookworm
11/12/09

In reply to Requiem For The History Channel: A Nerd's Rant
I want less aliens and more plague and mummies on the History Channel. #thehistorychannel
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linnyt is a walking cliché
11/11/09

In reply to Requiem For The History Channel: A Nerd's Rant
A good place for old-school History Channel is History International. They just dust off shows that are 3-5 years old and re-air them. Right now "Hero Ships" is on but it is Veterans Day. Still, it's all facts.
My favorite is Modern Marvels. I can watch that any time. #thehistorychannel
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BytheSea
11/11/09

In reply to Requiem For The History Channel: A Nerd's Rant
They used to have a neat show called Histories Mysteries where they showed real mysteries like "How was the Alamo lost" or "How was xxx big stone thing built" with computer models and archaeological evidence. You could show it in a classroom. Now it's the same title but it's all knights templar and witches.

They still show halfway decent ancient Rome biopics about obscure Caesars. I try to watch those but they all run together. I figure I'm learning through osmosis just having it on. #thehistorychannel
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sequined
11/11/09

@BytheSea: There was one once on a plane that went down over the Sarah in WWII (The Lady Be Good), and my grandma's fiance was one of the men who disappeared/died in that, so my grandma got interviewed for the show and loaned the History Channel photos for the episode! #thehistorychannel
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Jack_Burton
11/11/09

In reply to Requiem For The History Channel: A Nerd's Rant
Psst... It's the Illuminati. They killed Tupac and Biggie, too. #thehistorychannel
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AndPreciousLittleofThat
11/11/09

In reply to Requiem For The History Channel: A Nerd's Rant
Oh god. I recently cajoled my wife into watching a program on the History Channel about "Jesse James's Lost Fortune of Gold" or some bullshit like that.

It's like the channel has started playing the "what if" game nonstop. What if aliens really built the pyramids? What if Da Vinci was secretly three feet tall and Jewish? What if Hitler's still alive?

The History Channel: Running Tangential to Actual History Since 2004. #thehistorychannel
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soykatrina
11/11/09

@AndPreciousLittleofThat: My bf made me watch that Jesse James thing. However, he had to change it after he solved the mystery. We came to the conclusion that the gold did not belong to Jesse James. BAM. No conspiracy theories.
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AndPreciousLittleofThat promoted this comment Edited by soykatrina at 11/11/09 2:19 PM soykatrina was starred soykatrina was unstarred

AndPreciousLittleofThat
11/11/09

@soykatrina: HA! I'll do you one better. I thought it was weird that silver coins buried in the ground for a hundred and thirty years wouldn't be, you know, tarnished. At all.

Real archaeologists call that "salting."

I did think it was great, though, that every piece of evidence that would clearly prove Jesse James had fuck-all to do with the things they were finding, ended up being used as support that he COULD HAVE.

In conclusion, did you hear that Glenn Beck raped and killed a young girl in 1990? #thehistorychannel
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Katxyz
11/11/09

In reply to Requiem For The History Channel: A Nerd's Rant
One of my professors played us a documentary for a foreign policy class from the History Channel. I think the series was called "Man, Moment, Machine." I thought it was from Spike until I asked and was told otherwise. They were practically screaming at the 18-25 male demographic to please, please, pretty please watch. #thehistorychannel
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randomnessish
11/11/09

In reply to Requiem For The History Channel: A Nerd's Rant
Oh, and I remember reading something (on Jezebel, actually, probably last year), about how some high-powered woman exec of the History Channel has helped make it one of the most popular channels for males ages 18-35 or something with shows like Ice Road Truckers and Ax-Men. So, I think it's partly just the HC trying to appear "cool" and "awesome" to young guys who they assume have no interest whatsoever in "stodgy" history. So we get shlock like Nostradamus and aliens in the Bible, because "young men are only interested in boobs and aliens and friggin awesome shit and maybe some guns y'know?"

Oh, and I'm pretty sure they assume all these men smoke a lot of weed, because that's the only excuse I can think of for watching half the programs they air now. #thehistorychannel
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veronykah
11/11/09

@randomnessish: That's funny, I thought those shows were aimed at women in their 20s and 30s.
I definitely know women that watch them for the butch dudes with beards. #thehistorychannel
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Isoperla
11/11/09

@randomnessish: which is funny, because even though he is not a nerd at all, my brother (30 yo) was super into the history channel when it was all about ww2 all the time. he couldn't get enough of that shit. i don't really know what he watches now, but i know he wouldn't give a rat's ass about nostradamus or aliens. #thehistorychannel
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randomnessish
11/11/09

@Isoperla: I kind of think they figure that only old/middle aged men like that stuff...you can tell because all the life insurance commercials air during Modern Marvels/any documentary worth watching. #thehistorychannel
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belle TL
11/11/09

In reply to Requiem For The History Channel: A Nerd's Rant
THC is much like the Food Network for me--so many of the hosts lack the intellect, charm and/or personality to draw me in and leave the channel on for hours and hours on weekends like I used to. The established people are phoning it in now (especially Giada and Ina), the upstarts are uninspired, schticky and/or mediocre, and it seems like 80% of their programming is contest-related.

Fine Living is fine for some things, like Iron Chef and Molto Mario reruns, but it's not the same at all. #thehistorychannel
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randomnessish
11/11/09

In reply to Requiem For The History Channel: A Nerd's Rant
Oh thank you, thank you thank you thank you Sadie, for articulating what I've thought for years. I used to make fun of what I called "the WWII and Roman History Channel," but now I wish I had that back. Basically, all of what was once 2am-5am programming has moved to prime time...although History International has some amazing documentaries (I saw one this summer about the Little Ice Age, and it was fascinating), as does PBS, it's just ridiculous that they have to be shunted off to the side channels. It's terrible, and I weep for the days of horribly re-enacted Hitlers and Caesars. #thehistorychannel
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highjump
11/11/09

@randomnessish: WWII and Roman History Chanel was awesome! Remember the maps?! Oh how I miss the maps, and academics talking in front of them. Pointing at stuff. Troop advancement. So good.
The history channel also pioneered the technique of re-enactments where you only see the back of Hitler/Ceaser while some ominous music plays. So you can just cast some guy with dark hair! #thehistorychannel
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thesciencegirl
11/11/09

In reply to Requiem For The History Channel: A Nerd's Rant
I haven't watched the History Channel in years, given that I can't afford cable. But I do love the history specials on public television, and they remain Hitler-heavy (with American civil rights, and some colonial type stuff thrown in). I watched a WWII special this weekend with interviews of Holocaust survivors and American veterans and it had me bawling. Anyway, I much prefer documentaries to the silly conspiracy theory stuff to which you refer. #thehistorychannel
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boxspelunker
11/11/09

In reply to Requiem For The History Channel: A Nerd's Rant
Don't mock the aliens in 2012 shit to this guy I know, unless you want 60MB files hurled at you at the speed of light.

Or talk about autism/vaccine connections.

Or American politics.

Or anything, really.

Dude is totally convinced that he's got all the answers, and any kind of pseudo-science will convince him he's right, you're wrong, and we're all programmed to make fun of him.

I no longer talk to him, for something totally unrelated, but does anyone have any info on the racism of the David Icke theories? I would love to read it. I watched that awful Zeitgeist shit, and Loose Change, but they were so awful! I was so unconvinced (you're saying that because a symbol looks like the letter M, there is a spiritual connection? Methinks no.). #thehistorychannel
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BeRy51
11/11/09

In reply to Requiem For The History Channel: A Nerd's Rant
Same trend with A&E. Remember Biography? America's Castles? Such great nerd porn. Now Biography just copies E! true hollywood stories and is relegated to its own ghettoized channel, and I haven't seen an America's Castles episode since 1999. The nearest substitute is the Ghost Hunter show that goes to historic homes with creepy floor-squeaks. And remember the Great Books show narrated by Andre Brauer? gone. I'm sad for me, and also for the children. I cry. #thehistorychannel
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bluebears
11/11/09

@BeRy51: Oh America's Castles! siiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. I had forgotten all about that one, it was so good. A & E really used to be amazing, I could park myself in front of it all day. #thehistorychannel
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Zombie Ms. Skittles
11/11/09

@BeRy51: I'll admit that I love Intervention and Paranormal State (Ryan is so hot!) but the rest of that channel is dead to me. Too much CSI Miami. #thehistorychannel
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RoseColette (fewer thorns; more coffee)
11/11/09

@Zombie Ms. Skittles: I have so much love for Paranormal State. Other than that, the "Criminal Minds" reruns are about the only other thing that reminds me A & E is still around. #thehistorychannel
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PrincessCarrie
11/11/09

@RoseColette (fewer thorns; more coffee): It seems impossible to believe that A&E used to show quality British programming like Poirot. They co-produced Pride & Prejudice for goodness sakes! Why have they forsaken the smarties of the world?

You can't even get quality British programming on BBC America anymore. They too have committed themselves to crappy reality programming mixed in with about four actual non-reality shows.

Thank god for PBS! I think I am going to pledge some money today. What would we do without Frontline, American Experience, or my beloved Masterpiece? #thehistorychannel
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RoseColette (fewer thorns; more coffee)
11/11/09

@PrincessCarrie: Remember the good ol' days when A & E used to show British shows like "Hustle" and "Spooks" (a.k.a. "MI-5")? Without MI-5 I never would've fallen in love with Matthew Macfadyen and Richard Armitage. If you haven't seen it yet, Richard Armitage is a smoldering bit of hotness in "North & South." #thehistorychannel
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BytheSea
11/11/09

@Zombie Ms. Skittles: I liked Scariest Places on Earth, it got shuttled between a few channels in the late 90s/early 00s. It's still on once in a while, but the format has chnged. It used to be half documentary about scary/gross places, and half reality show where they threw a family into a haunted house with the face cams and all. True or not, I felt like it was one of the less edited 'real ghost' shows. It was narrated by the creepy little witch woman from Poltergeist (and Teen Witch) and hosted by Linda Blaire.

Ohoh, and I died for Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction with Cmmdr. Riker and his horrid puns. But that's wandering off-topic... #thehistorychannel
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BytheSea
11/11/09

@RoseColette (fewer thorns; more coffee): Remember when Bravo used to be smarty shows? Now it's like any other channel. #thehistorychannel
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RoseColette (fewer thorns; more coffee)
11/11/09

@BytheSea: NBC Universal has turned it into a tabloid and reality TV dumping ground. Top Chef has its moments of brilliance but...ehn. I miss the days when I could easily find Inside the Actor's Studio or stumble upon opera and ballet. (Always confused me that it was on Bravo and not A&E.) #thehistorychannel
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BytheSea
11/11/09

@RoseColette (fewer thorns; more coffee): It's a travesty. I used to watch good older dramas I was too little to watch first run, like Moonlighting. I still have that series on VHS b/c it's not out on DVD, taped from Bravo. There was even an internet presence borne from the Bravo reruns with fanfic and a website taht got actual interviews with the cast (Cybil did, Bruce didn't). Tv today sucks so hard, I used to find great older stuff from Nick at Nite and Bravo, but it doesn't really get played anymore. #thehistorychannel
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PrincessCarrie
11/11/09

@RoseColette (fewer thorns; more coffee): SOOOOO much smoldering hotness from Richard Armitage in North & South...that scene in the train station at the end....awesome. It pains me to see him in so much pleather in Robin Hood. Catch him in The Vicar of Dibley for more adorable smoldering.

Again, PBS comes to the rescue with rebroadcasts of MI-5! #thehistorychannel
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highjump
11/11/09

@BytheSea: Remember how Bravo was founded to show fine arts programming on TV? They used to have cirque de solei and boston pops performances on regularly. And cool coverage of broadway. It used to be a channel to showcase creative people which except for Top ____ it has totally given up. #thehistorychannel
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BytheSea
11/11/09

@highjump: I do remember that. And I remember the moment when it changed for me. I don't remember the exact show, but around 2001, when the economy started to suck, I remember thinking, well I guess this is the end of good programming because even Bravo can't afford to have standards. #thehistorychannel
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morninggloria
11/11/09

In reply to Requiem For The History Channel: A Nerd's Rant
Longing for actual documentaries on actual demonstrable historical facts? I thought that's what PBS is for. #thehistorychannel
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TransFat
11/11/09

@morninggloria: Well it is paid for by people like you. Communist. #thehistorychannel
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whynotshesaid
11/11/09

In reply to Requiem For The History Channel: A Nerd's Rant
Don't forget all of the documentaries on gangs of all stripes. I often refer to the History Channel as the Penis Channel, because it seems designed only to appeal to a certain sector of creepy young men with a taste for violence.

I would love the History Channel so much more if it focused on history that is relevant to more than just the military fetishists among us. I once caught a documentary on some channel about the 1960s and the sexual revolution and I was fucking hooked for all two hours and all commercial breaks. I watched all of the historical extras on the Mad Men DVDs. I love Ken Burns' stuff. I am reading a critical Mormon women's history and poring over old issues of an LDS women's publication right now - FOR FUN.

Oh well. I suppose I shall continue to sate my nerd hungers with Science TV. (Now with more Michio Kaku!) #thehistorychannel
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BytheSea
11/11/09

@whynotshesaid: The history of underwear was pretty interesting. That really gets you where you live, ykno?

But I hear you, so much of history channel is for the mens. WWII is all for the 60+ vets, the guys who hang out in my reading room at work. We have so many WWII books in the library b/c that's a population who still has the patience for history and print entertainment. #thehistorychannel
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