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tscheese
05/22/09

In reply to Four Magic Words
I was about to protest that there wasn't enough Mary Sue in this fanfic. (For those unfamiliar: A "Mary Sue" character is a sort of wish-fulfillment on behalf of an author, usually in fanfic. As Wikipedia notes, a Mary Sue is "one who is too perfect and lacking in three-dimensionality to be accepted as realistic or interesting.")

Then I realized that Gwyneth as portrayed by GOOP is pretty much an archetypal Mary Sue anyway.
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♥ dosido☮
05/22/09

@tscheese: Mary GOOP?
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SomeAuthorGirl
05/22/09

In reply to Four Magic Words
I am now going to end every personal email with "Goodbye, omelet."
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emilyanne
05/22/09

In reply to Four Magic Words
Ah thank you for this, that made my day. Gwynnie Antoinette indeed.
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NefariousNewt
05/22/09

In reply to Four Magic Words
"Ahhhhh... Princess Paltrow."

"Governor Bush. I knew I'd find you holding Darth Cheney's leash. I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board."

"Charming, to the last. You don't know how hard it was to sing the order for your termination."

"I'm surprised you had the courage to do it yourself."
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SomeAuthorGirl
05/22/09

@NefariousNewt: Beautiful...
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tscheese
05/22/09

In reply to Four Magic Words
"Where are you now, sweet omelet?" she thought to herself. "I just hope you are happy!"

At last, La Paltrow and I have something in common. I thought I'd never see the day. I always reminisce fondly over omelets when I am done with them, too.
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BabyJane
05/22/09

In reply to Four Magic Words
Fan fiction, eh?

Well slap my mid-century sink and call me GOOP!
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Jello Mix
05/22/09

In reply to Four Magic Words
This reminds me of the stories I used to write in middle school about the girls who bullied me.
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EleanorRigby
05/22/09

In reply to Four Magic Words
Gabe's fan fic makes my life a better place. My personal favorite is "Jamie Foxx calls Miley Cyrus to Apologize."
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ihateyourescalade
05/22/09

In reply to Four Magic Words
In my Gwinnie story, she'd get konked over the head and miss the subway, thus launching a parallel-universe story in which one Gwyneth turns into a navel-gazing macrobiotic "lifestyle guru," while the other ends up turning tricks in front of the Port Authority.
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HuckleberryFriend
05/22/09

@ihateyourescalade: Oh, and I end up living happily ever after with John Hannah? I love fan fiction!
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LaPergs
05/22/09

@ihateyourescalade: Hearted for referencing one of my favorite guilty-pleasure rom-coms (I'm not proud of this, you guys).
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CurtCole
05/22/09

@LaPergs: Seconded, love Sliding Doors.
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notheretomakefriends
05/22/09

@LaPergs: If it makes you feel any better, you are not alone. How else would I know that nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition?
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ihateyourescalade
05/22/09

@LaPergs: OK, I'll confess, I like that movie, too. Shh.
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notheretomakefriends
05/22/09

@ihateyourescalade: I don't do that often, but I am nominating you for a COTD. any John Hannah reference is COTD material in my book.
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ihateyourescalade
05/22/09

@notheretomakefriends: friended!
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Annabellie
05/22/09

In reply to Four Magic Words
It was pretty good, but there definitely wasn't enough sex. There should have been a scene where she masturbated with an late 19-century gold-plated vibrator while soaking in a lilac-scented bath.
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Mary McCarthyite
05/22/09

@Annabellie: Whilst cherubic putti ,/i> giggled and showered her with rose petals.
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Lolita Hazed
05/22/09

In reply to Four Magic Words
Wiggidy WHA?!
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Mary McCarthyite
05/22/09

In reply to Four Magic Words
Ohmygosh, the gold in her omelette thing reminded me of this: [jezebel.com]

Jezebel, congratulations. If you Google the words "poop gold" that's the first thing listed. Brava!
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♥ dosido☮
05/22/09

In reply to Four Magic Words
JEZ YOU VIXEN.

Terrible twos INDEED
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wordinedgewise
05/22/09

In reply to Four Magic Words
Gwyneth Paltrow broke into my car and stole my spare umbrella.
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GirlFailer
05/22/09

@wordinedgewise: Gwyneth Paltrow put sugar in my gas tank.
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Hamsterpants
05/22/09

@wordinedgewise: Gwyneth carved "sluttey bicth" into the hood of my '84 Trans Am. That's how she spelled it, too.
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battleaxonista...is a humorless bitch
05/22/09

@wordinedgewise: Gwyneth Paltrow fried an egg on my T-Zone and giggled.
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misspell
05/22/09

@wordinedgewise: Gwyneth Paltrow stole my spoon, so now I just go hungry.
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