The Best Way to Steal Prawns From Costco Is Not to Shove Them Up Your Skirt

Stealing something by stuffing it up your skirt is an age-old criminal trick, but for some reason a woman in Staten Island recently decided to employ it to steal a bunch of prawns from Costco, which just seems nasty. After all, who wants to eat a prawn that's been between your legs? Apparently Krystal Douglas, 26, and…
Teen Girl Forced to Stand on Busy Corner Holding an 'I Steal From My Family' Sign
Kids usually don't think before they steal, but you can bet 13-year-old Natia Wade never thought she'd end up standing on the corner of a busy intersection holding up a hand-written sign that read, "I steal from my family." Wade, who lives in Memphis, ended up there after she racked up a record of taking things—mostly…
Tiny Little Monkey Returned Safely To Zoo After He Was Stolen
In a nice turn of events (for once!), last night an adorable squirrel monkey who'd been stolen from the San Francisco Zoo was returned to his owners unharmed after missing for two days. The monkey, whose name is Banana Sam (which might be the perfect monkey name) was "hungry, trembling and thirsty" when he was…
Meanest Thieves Ever Steal Money From Girl Scouts
Two men are wanted by police after they approached a group of Girl Scouts outside a Wal-Mart in Bowie, Maryland, asked how much their cookies were, and then stole their cash box. The thieves were not only mean but also dumb, because they did not take any cookies.
Does Eating In The Grocery Store Count As Stealing?
You've had enough time to consider whether it's wrong for a man to steal a loaf of bread to feed his starving family, and now there's a new question to ponder: Is it wrong for a tired and hungry pregnant lady to consume a chicken salad sandwich in the grocery store before she gets to the checkout? Though it was a…
Airlines, Liver Disease, Horrible Strangers Coming For Your Pets
Good news and terrible news, pet owners. The good news is that even if your pet gets lost by an airline, there's a chance that it will be found alive, living in the ventilation ducts months later. The bad news is that once your pet gets found, it might be almost dead. And if your pet's never found, it might be because…
Woman Steals Thousands From Boss, Shows Off With Lavish Wedding
Here's a pro tip: If you told your boss you're destitute, don't invite him to the over-the-top wedding that you paid for with money stolen from his office. Kirsty Lane of Lancashire, Britain decided it was a good idea to invite her boss, Peter Sutton, to her wedding, even though she paid for her limo, jewelry,…
Horrifying Pregnant Barbie Stolen From Old Dude
A 67-year-old Illinois man says his pregnant Midge doll, which he claims is worth $400, has been stolen. Some people apparently complained about the doll when she was released in 2002, because she was not sold with a spouse. However, the real problem is that her "magnetic, detachable stomach" and removable fetus are…
$1.5 Million Shipment Of Condoms Goes Missing
Keep an eye out for 700,000 ultrathin Japanese condoms! A shipment worth $1.5 million disappeared while being transported to Tokyo from Sagami Rubber Industries' factory in Malaysia, AFP reports.
Lindsay Lohan To Be Charged With Felony Grand Theft
Best slap her on the wrist and send her back to rehab. In the meantime, a fun thought exercise because it's Black History Month: what if Lindsay Lohan were Latrell Lohan, 19-year-old black man from Chicago's 20th ward?
Lindsay Accused Of Stealing Necklace She's Been Wearing
- Lindsay Lohan — who is being accused of stealing a $2,500 necklace from the Kamofie & Company jewelry store in Venice — can allegedly be seen on surveillance video taking said necklace from said store.
People Are Being So Mean to the "Fountain Lady"
Reckless texter Cathy Cruz Marrero fell into a shopping mall fountain while messaging her church buddy and achieved Internet fame. Now the media's ridiculing her for her criminal record and unresolved theft charges. She's our new Ted Williams!
