Jezebel
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Posts Tagged “
The View
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heidi's hills
Heidi Montag Talks About Fake Tits, Fake Reality Show On The View
Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were guests on The View this morning. Spencer mainly kept quiet, but Heidi talked about everything from her plastic surgery to her income to her "breakup" with Lauren Conrad (ugh, so bored with that one). Barbara Walters told Heidi that she's in the wrong business, whatever that means (we think that Heidi is in the perfect business, since she makes piles of dough doing seemingly nothing, like getting paid $100K to "show up" at events). Later, she put on a show of pieces from her Heidiwood fashion line, which she says is selling like hot cakes. If it's such a big part of her life, isn't it weird that her "reality" show never mentions it? Clip above.
baba wawa tatatas
Earlier: For Some Women, Big Boobs Are A Pain In The Butt (And Back And Neck)
The Ladies Of The View Hate Their Own Boobs
The ladies of The View have been doing the show live from Vegas all week (and even though it's Wednesday, they still haven't ironed out the kinks in the audio situation). Anyway, they've been marveling all week about the women who've been sunbathing topless at their hotel, so Sherri decided to try it for herself. This led to a self-deprecating discussion of everyone on the panel's breasts. Elisabeth says she has to fold hers like origami in order to put them in her bra, while Joy and Whoopi say they have to throw 'em over their shoulder (like a continental soldier) or else they'll trip on them. Clip above.Earlier: For Some Women, Big Boobs Are A Pain In The Butt (And Back And Neck)
obama rama
Michelle Obama Co-Hosts The View, Discusses Racism, Sexism, and Toned Arms
Michelle Obama co-hosted The View today, and the ladies were way excited about it (just check out Sherri Shepherd's grin in that still). Whoopi was so psyched that she wet herself—when she knocked over her mug of water. No fights broke out between Elisabeth and Michelle, and it was all very ladylike and cordial. Joy and Babs did ask Michelle some questions about Hillary, though, like whether she believes Hills had to deal with sexism during her campaign and if she will be appointed as Barack's running mate. Michelle answered like a politician. Clip above.
midweek madness
This Week In Tabloids: Why Barack Loves Michelle; Angelina Is Anxious Or Adopting
Welcome back to Midweek Madness, where we parse tabloid punditry so you don't have to. This week marked a slight departure in tabloid fare, as Us featured potential President and First Lady Barack and Michelle Obama on the cover. Don't let it throw you; the other tabloids covered all the usual players, with In Touch, Ok! and Star devoted to Brangelina's baby farm and Life & Style hot on the Britney beat. Come with us as we tell tall tales of tabloid trauma, after the jump. More »
sad songs
Alanis Morissette Is Back To Writing Breakup Songs, Back To Having An Audience
I kinda feel dorky liking the Alanis Morissette's new single "Incomplete" as much as I do. She performed it this morning on The View, and as adult contemporary as it is, I was really feeling it. Maybe it's because she's just really fucking good at writing breakup songs. (The whole album is supposed to be a reflection on her 4 1/2 year relationship and subsequent breakup with Ryan Reynolds, who later got engaged to Scarlett Johansson right quick.) The Catch-22 about being a writer/musician/artist who looks to his or her own personal life for source material is that your best work is usually based on your worst experiences. When Morissette was happy with Reynolds we didn't hear much from her, did we? Isn't it ironic? Clip above. More »
baba wawa
Barbara Walters Bodysnarks Hillary Clinton's "Larger Bottom"
This morning on The View, the ladies were discussing Hillary Clinton's pantsuits, because Barbara Walters claims to have taken a part in Clinton switching from skirts to her now infamous style. (It had to do with a blizzard in 1996 and an interview or something.) Anyway, in setting up the anecdote, Babs, in so many words, said that the pantsuits were probably a good idea because of Clinton's ill-proportioned ass and thighs. The rest of the women on the panel—Clinton-hating Hasselback included—all got extremely uncomfortable and told Babs to not "go there." Clip above.
The Lezzy bunch
The View Co-Hosts Engage In Girl-On-Girl Action At The Request Of A Gay Man
Today, Mario Cantone was on The View — on which he regularly appears as "the gay friend" — to plug his latest movie, Sex and the City, in which he appears as "the gay friend" to an entirely different group of women. The View ladies asked Cantone if he thinks they'll finally win the Daytime Emmy they've often been nominated for, but have never taken home. He said that they only way they'll win is if they go gay. In response, Whoopi and Joy embraced, and Sherri and Elisabeth followed suit. Leave it to the devout Christians to take it over the top; they ended up breaking the couch! Clip above.
mystic rivers
Joan Rivers Says She's A Bigger Slut Than Barbara Walters
Joan Rivers stopped by The View this morning. She's always a lot of fun, even when she's making crazy, old lady racial statements (like today when she said her Chinese translator had a "stupid name"). But what really made me wince/laugh was when she complained that she's slept with all the same men Barbara Walters has, and then some. Clip above.
clips
Related: Knob [Urban Dictionary]
The Ladies Of The View Gag On Penis Jokes
"I spent the day searching for knobs," Joy Behar explains. "I don't want to go online because I like to feel my knob." "You have to touch the knob, you have to grab the knob," Elisabeth Hasselbeck concurs. Whoopi, always a shit-stirrer, claims, "You must bite the knob." Those gals on the View were giddy about gonads today, right? Or were we just reading into things? Clip above.Related: Knob [Urban Dictionary]
dirt bag
Barbara Walters Talks Shit About Former View Co-Hosts
- In her new memoir, Auditions, Baba Wawa gives the dirt on Star Jones' and Rosie O'Donnell's departures from the View; On Rosie: "The premise of 'The View' is that of a team working together, but for Rosie it was more like Diana Ross and the Supremes, as little by little she took over." [NYDN]
- The problem with Miss Jones was not just her diva behavior (though Walters et. al. were embarrassed about her fiasco of a wedding to Big Gay Al) it was that Star made her View-mates lie about her gastric bypass. Walters writes: "Joy [Behar], in particular, resented having to go along with a lie that implied all one needed to do was situps and ingest one cookie instead of two."[NYDN]
- The septuagenarian Babs is so scandalous! She also talks about her adulterous affair with Massachusetts Senator Edward Brooke, the first black Senator since reconstruction. [NYDN]
- Jimi Hendrix's sex tape? A hoax, cries the company that owns the rights to Jimi's music. Sigh. We'll always have Cynthia Plaster Caster. [Reuters]
- Marilyn Monroe's sex tape? The FBI cries fake! It's amazing how many stars can issue denials from the grave. [MSNBC]
clips
Earlier: Obama Asks, We Answer: The 5 Stupidest Things Elisabeth Hasselbeck Has Ever Said
Dear Elisabeth Hasselbeck: Get Over Yourself Already
It's pretty clear that Elisabeth Hasselback hates Barack Obama. And on The View today, she all but called the front-runner for the Democratic nomination a conceited asshole while getting into a very heated conversation with Whoopi Goldberg, Sherri Shepard and Joy Behar regarding Rev. Jeremiah Wright. It isn't just that she disagrees with what Rev. Wright has to say; she takes offense that Obama only made a move to "distance" himself from his pastor once Wright said that Obama was "acting like a politician." And when the other women of The View pointed out that what someone's pastor once said should not be a campaign issue, especially in the midst of a health care and economic crisis and a war, Elisabeth screamed, yelled, pouted and attacked Obama again. Clip above.Earlier: Obama Asks, We Answer: The 5 Stupidest Things Elisabeth Hasselbeck Has Ever Said
the naked truth
Miley Cyrus Is Not The Innocent Victim That Disney Makes Her Out To Be
People are really freaking out about the Miley Cyrus "topless" Vanity Fair photographs. Disney is blaming photographer Annie Leibovitz., saying that she and VF created a situation "to deliberately manipulate a 15-year-old in order to sell magazines." Vanity Fair is standing by the images, emphasizing that Cyrus's "parents and/or minders were on the set all day," and Leibovitz is calling the photos "very beautiful." Cyrus has issued a public apology over the photos, but I guess what bothers me about the situation is not that a 15-year-old has been sexualized, its that the scenario has taken away her agency entirely. More »
clips
Tina Fey Keeps Perspective By Cleaning Up Baby Poop
Tina Fey's love for talking about poop is almost as great as our love for talking about Tina Fey talking about poop. On this morning's Today show, Fey entertained Meredith Vieira with stories about her daughter, Alice, along with tales from the Baby Mama set. "When you are chasing someone around with a pull up trying to stop them from pooping on the floor, It gives you perspective," Fey said. Fey and BM costar Amy Poehler were also on the View today, telling Whoopi, Joy et. al about why they prefer New York to L.A. (answer: in L.A. you gotta work out so much!). Have Tina Feytigue yet? Nah, we're Feynatics. Anyway, Today show clip above.
clips
Ladies Of The View Pounce On Former Pimp
Jason Itzler, "The King of All Pimps", appeared on The View today, ostensibly to take us "inside the world of sex, power and money," but instead, he was attacked by the ladies on the panel. Sherri looked like she was gonna choke him with her fake pony tail; Whoopi told him he creeped her out; Joy got in his face over the definition of the word "pimp"; and Barbara tried to raise her eyebrows when he described Eliot Spitzer bedmate Ashley Dupré as having a nice tush. Strangely, Elisabeth was mostly mum. (She saves her harsher criticism for presidential candidates.) Above is a clip of the ladies clearly hating Itzler for merely existing.
clips
Obama Asks, We Answer: The 5 Stupidest Things Elisabeth Hasselbeck Has Ever Said
Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama was on The View this morning, and things got both political and personal. First, Barbara Walters told him she found him "very sexy". Then, token right-winger Elisabeth Hasselbeck got on the Senator's ass about the controversial statements made by his pastor, the Reverend Jeremiah Wright Jr. Obama responded in part by asking Hasselbeck to imagine how she'd feel if someone compiled a clip of five of the stupidest things she'd ever said, and we started salivating. Above, our gift to Obama: A clip compilation with some of Hasselbeck's most idiotic bon mots.
clips
Earlier: Is Elisabeth Hasselbeck Afraid Of Whoopi Goldberg?
Whoopi Believes Elisabeth Hasselbeck Is Afraid Of Black People
There was a heated discussion on racism on The View today. Elisabeth Hasselbeck expressed her offense at the fact that Barack Obama called his grandmother a "typical white woman" who would be fearful if she saw an African-American on the street. Elisabeth explained that she is a "typical white woman" herself and would never be afraid of a group of black kids on the street. Whoopi, however, didn't buy that shit for a second, and said as much. Clip above.Earlier: Is Elisabeth Hasselbeck Afraid Of Whoopi Goldberg?
news roundup
Barack Obama Defended By Mike Huckabee, Still No Word From Grandma
- Obama's slightly racist grandma is not dead, she just doesn't feel like commenting on his speech apparently. Here is a picture of her clutching her grandson for fear of being beaten up by darker-skinned black men. No just kidding, it's just a graduation picture. Sorry to drag you into this, Madelyn Dunham.
- ""As easy as it is for those of us who are white to look back and say 'That's a terrible statement!' ... I grew up in a very segregated South. And I think that you have to cut some slack — and I'm gonna be probably the only conservative in America who's gonna say something like this, but I'm just tellin' you — we've gotta cut some slack to people who grew up being called names..." Well Jesus F. Christ Mike Huckabee, if you didn't just win yourself some major days off from Purgatory right there. [Politico]
- John McCain keeps randomly linking Iran with Al Qaeda. I'd say he's trying to make this into a self-fulfilling prophecy like happened with Iraq and Al Qaeda so that he can make the 100 years thing its own self-fulfilling prophecy. But he could also be just old. [Huffington Post]
- Getting raped on Spring Break is just par for the course these days I guess, but getting raped and then hurled over a sixth-floor balcony is a bit much. [ABC News]
- Hillary's packed schedule as First Lady consisted mostly of philanthropic crap, ceremonial visits to foreign countries and REDACTED. Newspapers are still frantically scanning the newly released papers to find out more re our former "co-President" but one thing we do know... [Wash Post]
