"Lisa you're too young to be a witch! Savor the steps leading up to it: college anorexic, string of bad marriages, career disappointment, failed pottery shop, then when you're old and alone you can hit the witch thing hard."

Ouch! At least they left out "grow hair so long you can sit on it and add a purple streak."

She ended up being featured in the entire calendar, and was initially embarrassed.


But then when she realized that her church congregation appreciated her charitable efforts, she gained a new confidence in her sexuality, which she tried to share with Homer.


The opening credits hinted at what was to come.


But of course, this wasn't the first time Marge bared all.


Her Playboy spread, which came out last month, actually featured some side boob.


And nipples!

• Lady Gaga, Gay Activist! She "was the highest-wattage celebrity to attend both the Human Rights Campaign dinner Saturday night and the National Equality March on Sunday." Reporter Dan Zak writes:

"Nearby rally-goers screeched her name. She had marched with the crowds from her hotel after shrugging off security concerns, and had just finished a short speech to an enraptured throng of tens of thousands on the West Lawn. Glittery signs reading 'Gay for Gaga' and 'Lady Gaga {heart} Equality, U Should 2' poked up from the rainbowed masses." "I will never turn my back on my friends," said Lady Gaga, before disappearing from the rally. "Today is not a one-off performance."She also said: "In the music industry there's still a tremendous amount of accommodation of homophobia," she said. "So I'm taking a stand… I'm not going to play one of my songs tonight because tonight is not about me. It's about you." She sang John Lennon's "Imagine," but changed some of the lyrics. [WaPo]

• Miley Cyrus and her sister Brandi ate $70 worth of meat and mac 'n cheese at the Outback Steakhouse in Burbank last week. Miley paid with a $100 bill… and kept the change. Her spokesperson explains: She didn't know she was supposed to tip unless she was eating inside." Pardon? When has that ever been the case? [Rush & Molloy]
• Christina Hendricks married Geoffrey Arend — he was hilarious in 500 Days Of Summer! — at Il Buco restaurant in New York on Sunday. Congrats! [People]
• Jon Gosselin says that he wasn't the only one who took cash out of the joint account; Jon filed papers claiming Kate withdrew over $60,000 from their joint account between July and September 2009. But a source says Kate's transactions were legal; Jon didn't have permission. [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin believes that Kate has control of more than one million dollars and that if she doesn't have a job, it's not his fault. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Jon Gosselin will light a menorah this year, partly because of gf Hailey Glassman. "This is the first year I will celebrate Chanukah. Everyone in my life is Jewish now, my attorney. I love it. I'm now half Jewish and half Korean. The family values are great… They gave her a free tummy tuck, worth $20 grand." I'm sure I'm not alone here when I say: Oy. [Rush & Molloy]
• Dina Lohan says that Lindsay's brother Michael is on academic scholarship at Ithaca (college)… and "He's also is doing a movie!" This paper reacts with the headline, "Oh no! Not another one!" [The Sun]
• Katie Holmes wants to send Suri to Catholic School, and noted Scientologist Tom Cruise is okay with it. Suri is already enrolled in Catholic Charities Yawkey Centre For Early Education And Learning in Boston, where Tom is filming the movie Wichita. [Daily Mail]
• Angelina Jolie is in talks to replace Charlize Theron in the thriller The Tourist. [JustJared]
• Prince Harry and Chelsy Davy: So on. [People]
• Nick Cannon is married to Mariah Carey. He's also a stand-up comic, a rapper, an actor, a D.J., a screenwriter and a television host and the chairman Nickelodeon's TeenNick division. [NY Times]
• At the BET Hip-Hop awards on Saturday, T.I. won, though he is in prison; Jay-Z was honored as MVP of the year; the late DJ AM won "DJ of the Year." Kanye West did not attend. The show airs October 27. [AP]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Kourtney Kardashian is expecting a baby boy. [NY Daily News]
• Mad Men's John Slattery doesn't want a garbage trucks garage in his New York neighborhood. [AP]
• "Fergie is Condoleezza Rice - if Condi knew how to execute a booty shake…" claims this profile of the singer, in which she talks about ecstasy; crystal meth ("it ruins you"); dating Mexican gang members and being a child star. The reporter also writes: "There is some speculation that Fergie is older than she lets on (seems unlikely; she grew up on TV), as her unquestionably sexy features can look a touch - how can I put this? - ravaged." [Times Of London]
• Kelly Bensimon was doing man-on-the-street interviews for Gotham magazine yesterday… and her efforts were taped for Real Housewives. [NY Post]
• Debi Mazar helped Maksim Chmerkovskiy get over ex-fiancée Karina Smirnoff with home cooked meals. Heartache doesn't mean stomachache. [People]
• Remember when Michael Jackson played a character on The Simpsons? The folks of The Simpsons were freaked out by him. [NY Post]
• Speaking of Michael Jackson, a snippet of his song "This Is It" has hit the interwebs; listen at the link. [TMZ]
• By the by the illuminated white glove Michael Jackson wore on his 1984 Victory tour sold for almost $70, 000 at auction. [The Sun]
• Katherine Jackson will not inherit 40% of her son's estate. [Carey Hart are HOT in this photo shoot for his tattoo shop's clothing line. [Daily Mail]
• Amy Winehouse "looked frail and unsteady" singing backup for her goddaughter on the TV show Strictly Come Dancing. [Mirror]
• Couples Retreat raked in $35 million at the box office; this column suggests the film "offers a lesson in moviegoing: add one beautiful location to a comedy that is not very funny, add to it actors who aren't really very famous, and you can make a movie that opens to reviews that aren't very good, yet still make cash hand over fist." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Saturday Night Live's Bill Hader has a new baby and says of fatherhood: "I think it's going to be awesome." [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
• In a poll of 100 New Yorkers, 26 women and 27 men think David Letterman is a "hypocrite for making jokes about the affairs of Bill Clinton and other politicians." 22 women and 31 men have worked at a place where the boss was having an affair with an underling. [NY Mag]
• Singer Stephen Gately, of Irish group Boyzone died Saturday while vacationing on the Spanish island of Majorca. [CNN]
• Stephen Gately may have chocked on his own vomit after a "drinking session." [Daily Mail]
• "Matt Lucas will not return to his stage role following the death of his ex-partner, it has been announced." [The Star]
• Mickey Rourke talks about using the word "faggot." Sorta. [TMZ]
• Dannii Minogue was judging X Factor when this guy Danyl Johnson sang "And I'm Telling You" from Dreamgirls. Danni insinuated that he was gay by telling him he didn't need to change the gender references in the song. Simon Cowell was pissed about that. [Daily Mail]
• Arnold Schwarzenegger is on Twitter now, posting pictures of the happy face in his morning oatmeal and so on. [NY Post]
• Sigourney Weaver is trying to promote a Gorilla Rehabilitation and Conservation Education, (GRACE) in the Congo, which will rescue and rehabilitate orphaned gorillas, saying: "These little gorillas just steal your heart. They're very sensitive creatures. So it's no surprise that this is a very demanding and ambitious project, the GRACE Center, but we need it. We have to have it." [AP]
• "Pierce Brosnan almost turned down the chance to star in his upcoming flick, The Greatest, about two parents struggling to move on after their son dies in a car accident — because his own son Sean survived a similar crash in 2000. "When I first got the script, I looked it over and put it under my bed for a week," he says. "I eventually decided to do it because I liked it, but it was hard to go to those deeper places in my heart." [Gatecrasher]
• Director Mike Nichols has been selected to receive the American Film Institute's 38th AFI Life Achievement Award. Nichols won an Oscar for directing The Graduate; was nominated for a best picture award as a producer for The Remains of the Day and his credits include Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, Catch-22, Carnal Knowledge, Silkwood, Working Girl, Primary Colors, Angels in America, Closer and Charlie Wilson's War. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Horn Lake, Mississippi's Circle G Ranch — also known as the Elvis Ranch, is up for sale, if you have $6.5 million. [UPI]
• High-brow PBS soap opera Upstairs Downstairs is being remade. [NY Post]
• Blind item! "What Oscar-winning actress and her Oscar-winning husband are said to be close to splitting? She's telling friends, 'We've grown apart.'" [Rush & Molloy]
• "I get why chicks dig him. He's extremely kind, incredibly intelligent, thoughtful, creative and respectful. I don't discuss my love life because it's always misinterpreted or put under the microscope. It's especially annoying when you're dating someone else who's well-known, which is why I normally would never go out with a famous guy. Let's put it this way… I'd be flattered if someone hit on me tonight, but I really can't say if I'm available or not." — Emmy Rossum on Adam Duritz. She also says: "I used to be an artsy, quiet, kind of chubby kid — which no one believes. But now I'm really comfortable with my body and my sexuality. I can be naked with the lights on." [People]00
• "My hair has never been that great. I had a Jheri curl at one point in my life. I had to go to rehab and confess, 'I'm Chris, I have a curl.' But, I don't think men are into their hair that much. Guys are concentrating on other things. When I was younger, I had a complex, and probably still do, about just not being buff and big. I think that's what guys are into. There are some right here in Hollywood, men on television right now, with fake pecs and stuff." — Chris Rock made Good Hair, but he doesn't think about his own that much. [Parade]
• "I think if she were playing something that was going to be really hard for her psychologically or damaging, I'd be more concerned, but she had a really good time with the sex thing, She plays a woman who, as far as I can tell, is really in charge of her life and is not a victim. So it sounded to me like it would be a blast. I've already seen little bits and pieces of some of the nudity and she looks beautiful. If you have it, why not?" — Susan Sarandon, on her daughter playing a student by day and a stripper by night in Californication. [Gatecrasher]
• "I've been corresponding with Anya Camilleri [the director] and we've been looking at historical paintings where the concept 'cougar' was depicted to try and see where it came from. I think 'cougar' is a way to make it appear as women are looking at their men as prey, and gaining something from it. Like when men are enhancing their own virility by going out with younger women. Why is there not a term for older men with younger women? I don't think Mrs. Robinson was a cougar — I think she was a woman having a breakdown, and it was played wonderfully." — Sharon Stone, who will play a woman who hires a much-younger gigolo in upcoming flick Satisfaction. [Gatecrasher]
• "I had dairy a few weeks ago by accident and I knew because the next day I was all phlegmy. And I was farting and it was gross. And then I knew. It was dairy. Plus it makes you fat. Instantly. [There] was a time in my life where I was not interested in health at all; health was a dirty word. And when I look at pictures now, I see that I looked tired and puffy and stressed." — Alicia Silverstone, whom this paper calls "the most non-annoying vegan on the planet." [NY Post]
• "I guess everyone has their wild side, and mine was halfway between being really shy and kind of a goofy spazoid. I never bit anyone, like Max, but I slapped a lot of butts. I don't know if you've seen kids do that-butt-slapping. Like, slapping the butts of my grandparents and babysitters. When I wasn't shy, I overcompensated." — Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, who did the soundtrack for Where the Wild Things Are. [NY Mag]
• "In an interview, Lars said he thought he reminded me of my father… and now, of course, I could make that link. He's very sincere with his questions and fears. He's a real artist in that way. He never censors himself... It was a weird relationship. The moments when it was just the two of us were pretty awkward… [Still] I had the feeling that he was inside me. He understood every blink, every detail. I felt as if I were portraying him, even though we were dealing with female sexuality. The anxiety and fear in my character was pretty much him." — Charlotte Gainsbourg, on Antichrist director Lars von Trier, whom this article notes has been called "Misanthrope. Misogynist. Pornographer. Xenophobe. Enfant terrible. Child." [BlackBook]
• "President Obama seems very authentic… I wonder if there's a white man inside of him." — Lars von Trier. [BlackBook]

A Yale graduate...


A Gilbert and Sullivan enthusiast...


...a person who's seen the dark side of life and can appreciate the struggles of Jean Valjean...


An entertainer...


An intellectual...


A polyglot...


A sophisticate...


And, yes, a fellow devotee of the male skirt.

[Images via Getty]

• Kate Gossselin will be going after Jon Gosselin for "raiding" their joint bank account.

Apparently there's a court order prohibiting Jon or Kate from withdrawing any money from the account without he consent of both parties; yet Jon's taken $200,00 out. [TMZ]

• Kate Gosselin's lawyer says: "If the money is not immediately returned, we will be looking into potential claims against [Jon's lawyer] if he had any involvement with the violation of the court order… It is very disappointing that Jon Gosselin has escalated this to such an ugly place." [Radar Online, TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin's attorney, Mark Heller, was once suspended from practicing law for five years due to "professional misconduct." This was between 1994 and 1999. [Radar Online]
• BREAKING: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt took Knox and Vivi out in public! They visited a gelato store in Amman, Jordan! Pix at the link! ZOMG TWINZZZ. [Daily Mail]
• Even before David Letterman became involved with staffer Stephanie Birkitt, he had a "secret affair" with intern Holly Hester in the '90s, and his relationship with personal assistant Laurie Diamond is described as "particularly flirtatious." In addition, a source says: "Dave has a great track record of promoting women on the show — three of the five executive producers are women, and all of them have been with him for more than 20 years." [NY Post]
• Simon Cowell's 50th birthday party at sprawling estate Wrotham Park featured a huge image of Simon's smirking face, projected on an outside wall of the mansion; waiters wearing masks of Simon's face; a performance by Earth, Wind and Fire; and burlesque dancers, who whipped Ryan Seacrest. [NY Post]
• Miley Cyrus had to cancel a concert over the weekend because she is still battling strep throat. [UPI]
• Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem: Engaged. Supposedly. [Rush & Molloy]
• Elton John and David Furnish are still hoping to adopt. They'll have to put the Ukrainian toddler Elton fell in love with out of their minds, however: Furnish says, "When we found out he had a maternal grandmother, and brother and sister, we realized it wouldn't be the right thing to take him away from the family he had there. We would love to adopt Lev, but that does not seem possible under Ukrainian rules." [Daily Express]
• The mother of the toddler Elton John wanted to adopt says she will not give her kid up; the boy is in a children's home because she's an alcoholic and he was taken by social workers. [The Sun]
• "Switzerland would have arrested film director Roman Polanski on earlier visits to the country if justice authorities had been aware of his presence, a Swiss minister said in an interview published on Sunday." [Reuters]
• Precious got a standing ovation at the New York Film Festival over the weekend; Roger Friedman writes: "Expect Oscar nominations for Best Picture, Director, Adapted Screenplay, Actress (Gabby Sidibe), and one or more Supporting Actresses (Mariah, Mo'Nique)." [Showbiz 411]
• The problem with Precious? Mo'nique did not show up for the NYFF, just as she "ditched" her promotional duties during the Toronto Film Festival. [Gatecrasher]
• John Travolta testified that his son was autistic, which is in conflict with Scientology's "unofficial position" on the condition. But, this report claims, Travolta remains "firmly committed" to the Church. [TMZ]
• A DNA test has confirmed that Jude Law is indeed the father of Samantha Burke's baby. This paper calls Jude and Samantha's relationship "a brief love affair," but weren't you under the impression it was a one night stand? [Daily Express]
• Jenna Fischer's on the cover of Shape doing the classic Shape pose: Standing in water in a bikini. [JustJared]
• Chris Noth: Engaged. [People]
• A Facebook campaign has helped get an indie film starring Harry Potter redhead Rupert Grint get a distribution deal in Britain. Grint plays a Northern Irish teenager who takes drugs… and is featured in intimate bedroom scenes. In other words: Not Ron Weasely. [Gatecrasher]
• At the link, the Seinfeld cast spills about the Seinfeld reunion on Curb Your Enthusiasm. Jason Alexander, aka George Costanza, says: "It was so bizarre, I can't even describe it. It negated the idea that time had passed at all, and I was actually grateful that some of the elements of the apartment set were different, [so] it wasn't a complete mindfuck." [EW's Hollywood Insider]
• At a party in LA, Family Guy's Seth MacFarlane put the moves on Dianna Agron, aka Quinn Fabray from Glee. She wasn't interested. [Gatecrasher]
• Shia LaBeouf blatantly checks out hot chicks even when his girlfriend, Carey Mulligan, is right next to him. [Gatecrasher]
• Madonna's daughter Lourdes Leon wants to be an actress when she grows up. Do you think she's seen Swept Away ? [Daily Mail]
• Russell Crowe is in Robin Hood and is taking the character to heart: He got filmmakers to gift a £60,000 prop — a battering ram — to extras on his film, who are in a battle re-enactment group. [Daily Express]
• Beer and doughnut loving Homer Simpson in an anti-obesity campaign sponsored by the Department of Health?!?! [Mirror]
• "Housewife Kandi Burruss Devastated By Fiancé's Death."[People]
• In this piece, Vince Vaughn plays shrink and diagnoses the four couples from Couples Retreat, which he co-wrote and produced. [USA Today]
• On Carrie Fisher's Wishful Drinking: "hilariously perceptive journey" "chock-full of funny, fascinating tales." [AP]
• "Drinking is a perfectly pleasant trifle - nothing that requires or inspires great emotional commitment, but fine for a one-night stand." [USA Today]
• James Blunt has been dumped. [Daily Express]
• Candy Spelling had neck surgery and is currently in a full-body cast. [TMZ]
• As mentioned last week, Quentin Tarantino has confirmed that he will be making a third Kill Bill movie. [Variety]
• Q: I heard a rumor that you run on a treadmill in heels and sing. A: "[Laughs] No, I don't run on a treadmill in heels. That's a bit extreme. But I do practice my choreography in heels. And I have a rule that when I have my heels on, everyone has to have their heels on too. Sometimes the dancers are like, 'Oh, God, we hope Beyonce comes in late,' because I'll go all day. And in the end, I'll have blisters and my toes will have bruises. It's really hard sometimes. I still do all the boring things that everyone else does in regular workouts like squats and the treadmill. But I mainly get in shape from doing the choreography during those long 12-hour rehearsals for two months before a tour." — Beyoncé. [Reuters]
• "I'd like to get involved in videogames since I really love Wii Fit. I think it would be a great idea to incorporate choreography because for me my workout is way more fun when it involves dancing as opposed to running on a boring treadmill. So I would love to do some kind of fitness game but incorporate dance and performance into it. I think a lot of women would enjoy that." — Beyoncé. [Reuters]
• "When he walked on the stage I was like no, no, no! I knew his intentions and I knew he was standing up for art… [In the end] Taylor Swift had her moment and I didn't have to give an acceptance speech!" Beyoncé on the Kanye/VMA incident. [Mirror]
• "We mutually decided to cancel the tour. He's going to take some time off, but I'm not. Kanye and I talked about it. We talked about it a lot, as well as with Live Nation…" — Lady Gaga, who has just announced a solo tour now that the "Fame Kills" tour with Kanye West has been canceled. [Variety]
• "We're calling it a ‘vacation.' He's going away to get things sorted out." — a "source" on Kanye West possibly going to rehab. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "I went to the doctor and had an AIDS test and he told me it was positive. That was one of the worst days of my life." — Ozzy Osbourne, who did another HIV test, which came back negative. [Telegraph]
• "For the first time in my life I'm legal to drive — so watch out." — Ozzy Osbourne, who passed his driving test after the 19th attempt. [The Sun]
• "It was the most physical pain I've ever experienced. There was crying. But then you'd feel so good about falling and then getting back up and doing it again… I've never been to an overnight camp, but it felt like what I imagine that to be. Drew was just one of the girls. We'd skate and then go to the break room and talk about boys. She makes everyone feel like the most important person in the room." — Ari Graynor, aka Eva Destruction, on making Whip It. [NY Mag]
• "I know you're supposed to tell kids not to do drugs, but, kids, do it! Do weed! Don't do the other stuff, but weed is good… What you want to do is what I did, build a movie empire and, at age 38, smoke it all away." — Kevin Smith. [Page Six]
• "It is kind of disturbing, but so is putting yourself out there as far as relationships or friendships goes. It is scary and sometimes you are taking a risk. If you aren't prepared to do that you're going to have very safe options in your life, but they won't be the most exciting ones." — Anna Paquin, on vampire/human relationships in True Blood. [Telegraph]

Peter Lindbergh shot an entire editorial without recourse to that particular computer program, except for minor color-correction. Kristen McMenamy, Tatjana Patitz, Nadja Auermann, Claudia Schiffer, et. al., also posed without any hair products or makeup.

And they predictably look fantastic. Does this spread in any way address the constant barrage of unrealistically altered images of women in the fashion media? Only obliquely, at best. And the skincare peg — all the models are shilling their supposed favorite spas and products — is a little annoying. I worry sometimes that these non-Photoshopped editorials are becoming more of a stunt than a corrective; French Elle had one, also shot by Lindbergh, and even Life & Style ran a Photoshop-free cover, of Kim Kardashian. How awesome would it be for a fashion magazine to state, as a matter of editorial policy, that excessive and unrealistic retouching will never find a home in its pages? That adjusting the white balance in post-production is fine, but that rhinoplasty-by-liquify-tool and 80 gazillion layers of changes are not? That would be a magazine worth buying.

Which is not to say that it isn't still wonderful to see images of real women at a variety of ages, images that haven't been "fixed" beyond recognition, even if these spreads are annoyingly presented as the fashion equivalent of Very Special Episodes. Shalom Harlow, pictured here, has always been one of my favorite models, and shots like this prove she of all people doesn't need post-production smoothing and sculpting to look bewitchingly beautiful.

Karl Lagerfeld shot this editorial, notionally inspired by Peggy Guggenheim, in Venice with Lara Stone and his latest boytoy, Baptiste Giabiconi. (Baptiste gets to wear boy clothes in this one, amazingly: Lagerfeld has a habit of styling his favorite hot young thing in women's wear and heels.)

Lara often looks kind of severe and disapproving — Cathy Horyn once compared her to Lurch — but the Gugg-inspired blonde clown hair in this spread sure isn't helping her.

These sunglasses, which if you look closely you can see are the shape of a bat spreading its wings, belonged to La Dogaressa (real, and awesome, nickname) herself.

It wouldn't be fall without some kind of a generalist "New Shapes" spread. This one, shot by Camilla Akrans, stars Kendra Spears and Katie Fogarty, who are aged 20 and 17, respectively, and accompanies text by Suzy Menkes. Representative quote: "THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: It could be time to go green. Rethink jade."

Of course, Madonna's bunny ears get a shot.

It also wouldn't be fall without a long, studio-shot editorial of a model — Karmen Pedaru — jumping dazedly.

There is, however, a beautifully shot Glen Luchford editorial, starring the spooky Eniko Mihalik.

And Siri Tollerod turns up with Richard Burbridge to do one of those perennial accessories editorials where the fashion magazines try and convince their readers that even when it's fall and the mind turns to tweed, we will still somehow feel like wearing acid brights and neon and "pops of color."

Oh, look: Our old friend Jean-Paul "I have jungle fever" Goude. Styling Naomi Campbell in leopard print, racing a cheetah across the serengeti, really is daring and original.

Naomi rides an elephant. Like a real African Queen.

She jumps rope. With monkeys. Monkeys.

We all know that black models have been lamentably absent from mainstream fashion magazines and runways. But all that shoots like these do is draw offensive similarities between black women and wild animals, and reiterate, in pictures, the old colonialist assumption that black people are savage and uncivilizable. Naomi Campbell isn't from Tanzania, she's from Streatham; at what point does having a British woman wander around the African wilderness, performing truly awful received ideas of how African women behave, for a publication with a majority white audience, verge on minstrelsy? Having no black models represented in magazines is a problem. But is this kind of representation actually worse than being totally ignored?

Then, Naomi perched on the back of a crocodile — this shoot was obviously not Photoshop-free — while wearing a Dior haute couture crocodile jacket and pants.

Interestingly, the Jean-Paul Goude shoot is followed in the magazine by a 14-page Peter Lindbergh editorial starring Chanel Iman and Arlenis Sosa. The theme? The Harlem Renaissance. This shot of Chanel was taken just outside the iconic Lenox Lounge, on Lenox just south of 125th Street.

Chanel and Arlenis, who are photographed carrying trumpet cases and singing into old-fashioned microphones, make pretty great foxy jazz musician dames. And while the Harlem Renaissance is kind of a cliché — and the period doesn't really have much discernible connection with life in the Harlem of today — it's nice to see a period with a black cast mined for interest in a fashion magazine, rather than just another all-white editorial about the Summer of Love or Studio 54.

Besides, the setting is the perfect way to set off the 1940s looks so many designers have turned out for this coming fall.

Can anyone identify this block? I want to say it's one of those gorgeous brownstone streets south of Marcus Garvey Park, but it also could be Strivers' Row. Either way, it's gorgeous.

The commitment to period realism does falter slightly in places: Sylvia's restaurant was founded in 1962.

And if you look really closely in the magazine, you can see the Fairway supermarket, just under the elevated rail line. In all, though, it's a beautiful shoot.

I don't think I even want to investigate the subtext of Harper's Bazaar using a milk-pale blonde British model as a stand-in for a black American pop megastar; let's just reiterate that this spread, which was obviously thrown together at the last minute, unfolds like an uninspired afterthought. And also the clothes suck.

Jessica Stam and Benjamin Alexander Huseby pop in for an editorial all about gardening, and fall tweeds of the sort that Little Edie would have loved.

Nobody does sublime eccentricity like Stam.

And Magdalena Frackowiak has an editorial all about shopping, photographed by Terry Richardson. Seeing her play a ditzy society lady with more credit than sense would be funny, if the photos weren't desperately captioned things like "SHOP: SAVE JOBS!"

In an accompanying article, by Derek Blasberg, about the macroeconomic imperative of increasing consumer spending, Margherita Missoni says: "It was cool to talk about the recession — which I found extremely annoying. But it seems not that people are no longer embarrassed to have good things." Thank god that recession thing is so over! God, that was such a drag!

I will leave you with images from Harper's Bazaar's Sesame Street-themed shoot, which features models Sessilee Lopez and Tao Okamoto. It's Sesame Street's 40th anniversary this year, so the magazine sent designers down to where the air is sweet.

This shot of Oscar de la Renta with Oscar the Grouch might actually top Harper's Bazaar's awesome The Simpsons fashion spread. Maybe.

• Jesus Luz went on a Brazilian TV program, Fantastico, and said of Madonna: "She is my friend, only my friend." Hmm. Wow. Okay. He also said:

"Madonna is a person who I admire very much, a friend who has entered my life and [with whom] I keep in contact. I cannot say anything more than I don't have plans of marrying her. I can't say if she is the woman in my life." Dammit! Are they shagging or not? What does it mean? [Gatecrasher, The Sun]

• Lily Allen: Not impressed by Susan Boyle! "I thought her timing was off on Britain's Got Talent on Sunday — no control, and I don't think she has an amazing voice." And! "She seems like a lovely lady but if the show is about talent, then that Shaheen kid should win." [Daily Mail]
• Aww, Kiefer Sutherland and Proenza Schouler's Jack McCollough have kissed and made up! Well there was no kissing, but the two did issue a brief joint statement: "I am sorry about what happened that night and sincerely regret that Mr. McCollough was injured," Sutherland said. "I appreciate Mr. Sutherland's statement and wish him well," McCollough said. Then a unicorn jumped over a rainbow and gumdrops and structured dresses fell from the sky. [USA Today]
• Kiefer's headbutt incident caused some drama on the set of the film he's working on. [Daily Express]
• Guess who was out drinking Thursday night? Kiefer Sutherland. He had his 21-year-old daughter with him. [Page Six]
• Check out the toothless picture Demi Moore posted of herself — from the dentist's chair — on Twitter. Nice glasses. [Daily Mail]
• Charlotte Gainsbourg has won the best actress prize at the Cannes Film Festival for her role in Lars von Trier's Antichrist — in which she does unspeakable things to the genitalia of Willem Dafoe. Congrats! [AP]
• Tragic: Mike Tyson's 4-year-old daughter is on life support after she was found with her neck caught in the cord of a treadmill. [AP, NY Post, NY Daily News]
• Cate Blanchett spoke at the World Business Summit on Climate Change in Copenhagen yesterday, saying: "Australia's best climate scientists have been warning us that we'll face many more catastrophic fire days in south-east Australia unless the world acts to dramatically cut greenhouse pollution. We have the ability to kick start the low carbon economies of the future right when we need to, and that's now." [Breitbart]
• Natalie Cole has been released from the hospital five days after getting a kidney transplant. The memorial service for her sister, who died from lung cancer the same day Natalie received a kidney, was held yesterday. [People]
• We've heard this a zillion times, but now it's confirmed by his "people": Mel Gibson's girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, is pregnant. [People]
• "Actress and Scientologist Kirstie Alley is on a Twittering crusade against a bill that would provide money for screening, diagnosis and treatment of postpartum depression." Here are some of her Tweets:"I have to get you all info on THE MOTHER'S ACT. this is this lousy BILL that would give BIG BROTHER the right to force you to drug ur kids" And: "AND MANDATE that when you are pregnant, YOU MUST take drugs if a Dr. tells you to. THIS is BIG BROTHER at his finest. More on this soon moms." Plus: "I am organizing a MILLION MOM MARCH to protest this BILL. It just keeps rearing it's head. BACKED 100% by BIG PHARMA. MOMS UNITE!!" According to a spokesperson, the "Mother's Act," sponsored in the Senate by Sen. Bob Menendez, will not force "expectant mothers or new mothers to do anything." The spokesperson says: "Furthermore, the pharmaceutical industry has had nothing to do with this bill. We frankly have no idea where they get this stuff." [Politico]
• Lindsay Lohan will star in The Other Side, an indie comedy Katie Holmes was supposed to make. Apparently Katie was really into the script, sending notes and stuff, and then there was a scheduling conflict. This is the one with Woody Harrelson, Giovanni Ribisi, Jason Lee, Alanis Morissette and Dave Matthews; Lindsay will play a grad student who goes to spend her summer doing research on a remote island, where she discovers a community of eccentrics who share a secret. [Yahoo via E!]
• While Monica Bellucci was at the closing ceremonies of the Cannes Film Festival, burglars stole about $112,000 worth of jewels, a laptop and such from her Paris apartment. It's so To Catch A Thief! [Reuters]
• Whoopi Goldberg cut her Las Vegas stand up show short on Friday night after a man in the audience had a seizure and collapsed. [TMZ]
• Amy Winehouse's mom, Janis, says Amy drinks because she's bored. "Amy knows her drinking ruined the performance. Of course her band is frustrated, but even they can't stop her. It's just another one of Amy's addictions getting the better of her. It's yet another demon she has to beat. She came off drugs on her own so I know she'll stop drinking too much too. It has to be her decision though, no one else can stop her." [The Sun]
• Colin Farrell will be the best man when his gay brother Eamon Farrell marries his partner Steven later this year. [Daily Express]
• Shocker: Jon & Kate Plus 8 is staged, says Kate's sister-in-law Julie. She blogs: "When the show first started, Kate made a wish list of things that she wanted, and that became the theme of each episode - the carpet, twins' room, bunk beds, cow, hair plugs, teeth whitening, trips, etc. EVERYTHING that you see them do or buy is completely paid for out of the budget for the show or traded for free advertising … The episodes are also staged. Here's how it works ... there is a staff of people reading these blogs and they base the shows around what people are talking about." [MSNBC Scoop]
• The Real Housewives Of New York are getting a raise: Next season they'll get "upwards of $30,000 per episode." Raise your hand if you feel impoverished now. [NY Daily News]
• Lost's Evangeline Lilly says that producers "have seen that I haven't picked up on the opportunity to become a big movie star. It frustrates [them] that they've given me this chance to become the next Angelia Jolie" yet she hasn't gone after it. She adds: "Sure, I'd love to be her, but just the humanitarian side." [Page Six via Women's Health]
• Desperate Doused Wives? Teri Hatcher jumped into the pool fully clothed after performing with her charity group, "Band From TV," at Miami Beach's Shore Club. [Page Six]
• Mandy Moore loves watching the cagefighting mixed-martial arts of the UFC: "It's the best way for me to get out my aggression," she says. "The rush of adrenaline, being in an arena with 20,000 screaming people-it's overwhelming in the best way." [Maxim]
• Kevin Bacon's BlackBerry was stolen at a subway station in NYC on Thursday — and KB totally chased the guy! Unfortunately, he didn't catch him. [Daily Mail]
• Liz Taylor is in the hospital, but it's only a routine visit. Also: La Liz hearts Twitter. [MSNBC]
• "Brooke Shields: 'I was a virgin until the age of 22 because I didn't like the way I looked.'" [Daily Mail
• Rapper T.I. played a farewell concert to an arena packed with 16,000 fans Sunday night; he's due to report at the Federal Correction Institution at Forrest City, Arkansas by noon today. [USA Today]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Model Adriana Lima is reportedly three months pregnant; she eloped with NBA player Marko Jaric on Valentine's Day earlier this year. [Gatecrasher]
• Are you wondering if the Jonas Brothers are fizzling out as a Disney franchise? Here's a 1,114 word story that will sort of, but not really, answer that question. [NY Times]
• In this interview with Michael Bay, he divulges that the new Transformers movie takes up huge chunks of computer memory with its special effects. The first Transformers took up "an astounding 15 terabytes," and the sequel required 140 terabytes. "That breaks every record," says Bay. Also: Did you know he directed that old Aaron Burr "Got Milk" commercial? [LA Times]
• Phylicia Rashad, aka Claire Huxtable, is taking over as the mother in the Broadway play August Osage County. This article notes, "In a notable flourish of so-called nontraditional casting, Ms. Rashad inherits a white stage family of three daughters, a husband, a sister and other relatives." [NY Times]
• Are Kylie Minogue and her hot hottie gonna get married? [News.com.au]
• Not that you care but: "Peter Andre tells Katie Price it's 'too late' to reconcile, as he spends first day back with his kids." [Mirror]
• Morrissey has canceled more tour dates due to illness. [BBC News]
• For the last few weeks, there's been lots of buzz about the book Hollywood producer Jon Peters was going to write — with details about Barbra Streisand and so on — and now his book deal is off. Although he's still going to write a book. [Deadline Hollywood]
• "A Night Out With" Nia Vardalos includes Greek desserts, men yelling out blessings in Greek, and Rita Wilson dipping her tongue in a shot glass of Jägermeister, with Vardolos urging, "Do it, do it, do it." [NY Times]
• Sly Stone — previously reclusive — has been taking the stage lately, to support his 27-year-old daughter Novena Carmel, and her band, BabyStone. [CNN]
• Two Scottish cities are fighting over Groundskeeper Willie of The Simpsons. Is there nothing else to do? [The Sun]
• Grumpy Paul McCartney is reportedly "furious" about the switch to digital cable. "He doesn't think it's right that you have to either go to the trouble of getting an adapter or you have to buy a new TV, which he should do anyway," says a source. "You'd think he'd have an apartment full of flat screen TVs but really, he's got these old clunky sets in this tiny New York apartment." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Attention, Black Magic Women: Tomorrow, Carlos Santana will kick off a two-year residency at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas. [USA Today]
• RIP Jay Bennett, former member of the band Wilco. [E!]
• Tony Curtis called Joan Collins a "****" but it's tough to figure out what those stars stand for. [Daily Mail]
• Liberty DeVitto, who played with Billy Joel for 30 years, has sued the singer claiming he's owed overdue royalties. [UPI]
• Do you want to read a quote from Heather Mills' ex-fiancé, Chris Terrill, in which he compares her to a tornado? Then by all means, click the link. [Mirror]
• Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian made a whopping $70 million over the last four days; Terminator Salvation made about $65. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Phish tour: Sold out. Go find your tie-dye. [UPI]
• "Simple Minds return with a new album but the same defiant attitude." [Daily Express]
• Blind item! "What seemingly sweet small-screen starlet is actually so nasty that she won't speak to anyone on set until she 'has her face on?'" [Gatecrasher]
• "It was a divine beginning and it went on becoming more romantic. He took more attention than you can imagine to make sure you were sexually OK, with tiny wee cushions everywhere so one was comfortable. I never knew anyone who gave one such tiny, exquisite attentions. It was like having a wonderful parrot who bites everyone else but you. Everyone said: 'Oh Serge, he's so dangerous.' I said : 'Oh yes, he is,' but really, he was a pushover – very sentimental, very romantic." — Jane Birkin, on Serge Gainsbourg. [Guardian]
• "I don't take myself so seriously. All these people think I do. Look, a lot of people think it's fun to hate on Michael Bay. There's a lot of poison on the Internet. People always try to knock someone who's had a ton of success in movies. Whatever." — Michael Bay. [LA Times]
• "Becoming a mum was the single most profound, self-adjusting moment in my life. I birthed myself. It's like I took back my life. I took back the essence of who I am." — Thandie Newton, who struggled with bulimia before she got pregnant. [Times Of London]
• "Very swiftly we turned into two different people, and it's just hard. He's angry with me that he's home and I'm not. Yet he doesn't really feel great about me, so he wants me to travel. It is so involved I almost can't put it into words. I think the thing that makes me the maddest is: Jon made some mistakes and he was out and whatever, and that made people question him. I'm doing what I'm SUPPOSED to be doing. I'm working and traveling. [which led to reports that she was having an affair with her bodyguard]." — Kate Gosselin. [AP]
• "Since I've played for years, I get a little break. I think if I were doing rock music, there would be more doubt because there's such a great tradition of actors doing rock music so badly." — Steve Martin, on his banjo playing and bluegrass album. [NY Post]
• "I have never tap-danced in my life and I was kicked out of the choir in the fifth grade because I can't sing, but for this movie I had to tap-dance and sing in one scene… when I was supposed to be nine months pregnant. So I had tap shorts over fishnets around a fake pregnancy belly, and when I put my arms up to tap-dance in front of 300 people, my pants fell down. It was like embarrassment laid on top of embarrassment laid on top of embarrassment." — Sarah Chalke, on shooting the Lifetime movie Maneater. [NY Daily News]
• "For me, it's not a pastime, going out and meeting people and trying to hook up with people. That actually makes me feel disgusting. From a really early age, I was really sensitive to that. Getting your flirt on is the best thing in the world, but when it comes to sharing bodily fluids with a person I don't know — no thank you." — Katy Perry. [Gatecrasher]

[Image by Steven Klein via W Magazine.]

• Rihanna has a new song, with guest vocals by Lady GaGa, titled Silly Boy. Kanye West posted it online, and the lyrics are:

"I said I'm not coming back. You fooled me once but you can't have that ego turning… Cause you had a good girl, good girl, girl. That's a keeper. You had a good girl, good girl but didn't know how to treat her… So silly boy get out my face. Why do you like the way regrets taste?" Maybe I'm old, but the vocals sound like they were performed by a GPS unit on a dashboard. [The Sun]

• Wow. Eminem is flying 200 laid-off Toledo auto workers to L.A. to be on Jimmy Kimmel Live May 15. The idea is to "put a face on" the plight of American auto workers. [Toledo Free Press]
• Tourism peeps in St. Lucia are still glad Amy Winehouse performed, even though her set at the St. Lucia Jazz Festival was cut short because of rain. Uh, didn't she walk off the stage? [Yahoo News via AP]
• Madonna is so over Yankee Alex Rodriguez, she took her kids to a Mets game. Burn! [Page Six]
• Although Brooke Shields is calling Kiefer Sutherland a "gentleman," this report notes that one of his former co-stars claims he would "go to the bar immediately after he'd finish working. He'd sit there for hours, putting them back. When it was time to go home, he'd be cantankerous and ornery. He was not a pleasant drunk." Now he faces a $1,000 fine and a year in jail in L.A. for violating his DUI probation. [Gatecrasher]
• Heidi Klum and Seal renewed their wedding vows in a "white trash" wedding, and reporter Rosemary Black writes, "Why is it still PC to make fun of a huge segment of the Caucasian population that is frequently low income and under-educated?" [NY Daily News]
• Will Kara DioGuardi return for another season of American Idol? Seems like she doesn't even know: "I hope I'm here for another season," she says, "but I haven't been asked yet." [Gatecrasher]
• After his stint on Saturday Night Live, Justin Timberlake had dinner with girlfriend Jessica Biel and father Randy Timberlake, who "seemed really proud of him." Aww. [Page Six]
• A lady who works at a St. Louis beauty salon found the Twilight sequel script in the trash outside of a hotel. She returned the New Moon pages to the studio and has been invited to the premiere. [Breitbart]
• The National Enquirer says that Kevin Federline wants more cash from Britney: He currently gets about $40,000 a month but "can't afford the rent, his help, the food and the booze it takes to keep up (his home)." According to a source. [MSNBC]
• Speaking of Britney, Sam Lutfi may have to pay her legal fees from the courtroom battle over the restraining order; that's about $123,142. Not to mention the $72,292 her lawyers are going to try and squeeze out of Adnan Ghalib. [People]
• How will the show Jon & Kate Plus 8 — the fifth season of which premieres in two weeks — deal with the "scandal" its star, Jon Gosselin is involved in? [MSNBC]
• Oh, no. No no no no. Jennifer Aniston wants to be on Mad Men. "I like Mad Men," says Jennifer. "I would love to be in that, it's great. I love the era. I would love it if they offered me a role." But, but, that's part of the charm! That there are no "stars," except for the ones the show created! Sniff. Sob. [Daily Express]
• These drunk pix allegedly caused the marriage of Katie "Jordan" Price and Peter Andre to disintegrate. The "mystery man" makes my gaydar ping, though. [The Sun]
• On Celebrity Apprentice, Joan Rivers sniped that Annie Duke was "worse than Hitler; Hitler never had PMS." Now Rivers says: "It's just an expression. But I stand behind it." [CNN]
• This paper says Joan Rivers is "forever the comeback kid." [NY Daily News]
• In this video interview from August, Farrah Fawcett talks about her terminal cancer: "It's much easier to go through something and deal with it without being under a microscope. It was stressful. I was terrified of getting the chemo. It's not pleasant. And the radiation is not pleasant. It becomes your life. People call, 'How are you?' 'How do you feel?' 'We're praying for you.' 'Do you still have your hair?' 'What do you feel like?' When every single call is that kind of call… it's all you talk about. It's all-consuming. Then, your quality of life is never the same." [LA Times]
• In this video, Farrah Fawcett's friend Alana Stewart talks about the "cutting edge" treatment FF received in Germany. [ET]
• Ryan O'Neal recalls the moment he knew Farrah Fawcett was really really sick; they were walking on the beach: "We used to take that walk all the time to the rocks and back. And halfway there she stopped and said, 'Can we go back?' And Red and I looked at each other and we knew…" Also, Farrah doesn't realize son Redmond visits the house in shackles, since he is currently serving a jail sentence. "When you go in to her," Ryan tells Redmond, "don't rattle your chains." Ryan told Today's Meredith Vieira, "She doesn't know... she just holds him." [People]
• The Gossip Girl spinoff, possibly now called Lily and not Valley Girls, appears to be BACK ON. [NY Mag]
• Heidi Montag Pratt has a new video, which involves writhing in a bikini. Also breaking: The sky is blue. [Perez]
• In this interview with Depeche Mode, Martin Gore talks about giving up drinking and Andy Fletcher comments on the band's 30th year of being together: "I think at first when we found out it was going to be 30 years, I think it was, 'Oh my God, how embarrassing. We're really old!' But I think now we've really got our heads around it, and I think it's something to be actually proud of." [CNN]
• Yoko Ono has unveiled a John Lennon exhibit at New York City's Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Annex. Included is a billboard featuring Lennon's blood-splattered glasses that marked the 30th anniversary of his death. Ono says: "I thought I might be criticized for it.. But it's very important now for people to understand what violence is about." [USA Today]
• Congrats to SNL star Maya Rudolph, who is expecting baby number 2. [People]
• Ooh, Rachel Weisz is in talks to play one of my faves, Hedy Lamarr, in a flick called Face Value. Lamarr was not only a screen siren but an accomplished scientist; she created a method of changing frequencies which is the key to modern wireless communication — which will be the subject of the film. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Dermot Mulroney will make his directorial debut, Keep It Together, a comedy/drama about "love and divorce." Christopher Walken and Blythe Danner in negotiations to join the cast! [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Scott Speedman is in Atom Egoyan's film Adoration as a tow truck driver: "The guy teaching me didn't realize I was an actor doing it for a movie. He yelled at me up and down. I didn't use a tow double, even though I'm sure they had one at the ready." [USA Today]
• Every anniversary, Tori Spelling's husband slips a new diamond ring on her finger and this year it is a white diamond and a yellow diamond and blah blah blah being rich is awesome. [People]
• Trudie Styler, who co-founded the Rainforest Foundation, flew her hairstylist from New York to Washington, DC, last weekend on a private jet to do her hair and makeup for the White House Correspondents' Dinner. [Page Six]
• Mark Landon, eldest son of Michael Landon, has died at age 60. [Yahoo News via AP]
• The Simpsons stamp could become the nation's most popular stamp, knocking Elvis out of the top spot! [NY Post]
• Blind item! "Which buxom B-list pinup only helps out charities that ply her with cocaine?" [Gatecrasher]
• "How would you like being a young actor walking into a casting agent and the first thing they say is, 'Leave!' " — Liev Schreiber on NPR on the way people used to mispronounce his name. [Page Six]
• "As a mother, you have to read your kids a lot of these books, so it's fun to get involved in the process. I've had such a good time with this. This book is about becoming self aware and that realization in childhood. The title is my nickname, and I hated my nickname when I was seven years old. At that age, I tried to get rid of my freckles and I hated dodgeball - I still hate dodgeball." — Julianne Moore, at a reading of her second children's book, Freckleface Strawberry and the Dodgeball Bully. [WWD]
• "When David and I got to the first shoot we were both standing in our bathrobes, looking at each other and saying, 'Okay, who's going to drop their dressing gown first?' It can be a little intimidating standing half-naked in a studio full of strangers, so it's good to have the support of each other, reassuring and encouraging one another. David is always incredibly supportive of everything I do. I never used to go to the gym before working with Armani – but if you're going to be photographed in your bra and knickers you want to look as good as you can… I still work out every day. I drop the kids at school, and from the school I go to the gym and do the miles on the treadmill. I have worked hard, and if you are going to agree to be photographed in underwear you have to put the hours in, so when you turn up on the day and take off your robe you feel confident that you can do the job. As a 35-year-old mother of three, I'm looking okay." — Victoria Beckham. [The Sun]

[Los Angeles, May 7. Image via Getty]

At first, Lisa was leery, saying that if she joined a clique, she'd be the kind of person she hates, but after watching Homer test out the book's methods — "unsults" (insults disguised as compliments), "envytations," "hate hugs" — on his friends at Moe's with great success, she decided to try it out. The result: She made some Facebook friends! Clip at left.

• Today trial to extend a restraining order against Sam Lutfi, a lawyer testified that he was once hired to free Britney Spears from her father's conservatorship because it's like living "in prison." [Yahoo]

• Chelsea Clinton is engaged to boyfriend Marc Mezvinsky, according to The National Enquirer. They will marry this summer in a $1 million wedding. [Perez Hilton]
• The legal battle over Project Runway has come to an end! Weinstein Company has agreed to pay Bravo and NBC an undisclosed amount to move Project Runway to Lifetime. There's still no word on when season 6 may air. [Perez Hilton]
• The Simpsons will be featured on a new set of stamps. [Media Bistro]
• In the new Glamour, cover girl Miley Cyrus calls 20-year-old boyfriend Justin Gaston "the best thing that's happened in to me in a long, long time," and adds, "I don't feel like there's anything to hide. And I love [Justin] so much I don't really care." [Perez Hilton]
• The Obamas gave Queen Elizabeth an iPod loaded with show tunes and photos of her last visit to the U.S. She gave them a signed picture of herself and Prince Philip. [People]
• Scott Wolf has made it a party of three. His wife gave birth to their son Jackson Kayse Wolf last week. [Star]
• Someone smashed in the back window of Nadya Suleman's van. [TMZ]
• X-Men Origins: Wolverine has been leaked online a month before it's release. A representative from Fox says it's just a rough cut. [Variety]
• Hugh Jackman may be coming to your town! The Wolverine premiere will take place at whatever U.S. city gets the most votes in an online contest. [Just Jared]
• Here are some new promo shots for season 5 of The Hills. [Just Jared]
• You can listen to Heidi Montag's new song "Look How I'm Doin" at the link, but why would you want to? [Pop Sugar]
• Josh Duhamel filmed a public service announcement asking people to donate to the Red Cross to help victims of the recent flooding and severe weather conditions in his homestate of North Dakota and Minnesota. You can watch it here: [Entertainment Tonight]
• TMZ would like you to know that Kevin Federline is still fat, but "Rumors that K-Fed is pregnant are false." [TMZ]
• The radio audience of The Morning Invasion on Latino 96.3 freaked out this morning when a fake caller claiming to be Chris Brown's dad said Rihanna deserved the beating and was pregnant with Chris' child as an April Fool's joke. Dating violence: always hilarious! [TMZ]
• Former Sassy editor Christina Kelly is talking about her old interview with Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love in honor of the 15th anniversary of Kurt's death. She says: "The thing that really sticks out about that interview was how he was wearing these little black Keds, like the kind that girls wear, and they had a hole in them. Courtney was like, "He has the number one record and he only has one pair of shoes." And that just sort of sums him up. He seemed happy, but he seemed overwhelmed." [I Heart Daily]
• "Right now, my favorite thing to write about is love. And breakups. And boys. And feelings. Honesty is a big part of my writing, because when I was younger and fell in love with songs I'd hear, I would always wonder who that song was about. It would have totally broken my heart to know it wasn't about anyone and was just written so it could be on the radio." — Taylor Swift [Just Jared]
• In her new book Debbie Phelps says she cried her eyes out when her son, Michael Phelps, was arrested for a DUI in 2004. She writes: "Nothing like this had ever happened with him. It was unreal — like something out of a horror movie — with TV clips of jail cell doors slamming ominously shut, dooming the life and career of one golden boy turned loser." [Star]

Lisa lists her gay heroes:









Earlier: Lisa Simpson: Feminist Hero

[Sydney, March 3. Image via Flynet]

• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson had yet another "animated conversation," as onlookers described it, when they landed in Heathrow today. They reportedly ignored each other as they passed through the airport. [Daily Mail]

• Matt Dillon was arrested in December for speeding in Vermont and pled not guilty. Yesterday he was offered a plea deal, but will he take it? [Perez Hilton]
• Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson continued their French holiday, driving up to Normandy from Paris. You can read all about their romantic frolicking here. [People]
• George Clooney is now David Beckham's landlord. Beckham is subleasing Clooney's Italian villa. The two were introduced last year and now George has taken Becks "under his wing." [People]
• But Clooney's rep has issued a statement denying that the star is renting his Italian home to anyone. Does this mean reports of their bromance aren't true either? [E!]
• Jeremy Piven is appearing before the Actors' Equity board today for a grievance hearing concerning his fishy departure from Speed the Plow. [NY Times]
• Fox has renewed The Simpsons, which will take the show into its 22nd season. That means it will be the longest running prime time show in history. As Homer would say, woo-hoo! [NY Times]
• Billy Crystal may host the Oscars next year. The organizers say they don't want a "straight man" for next year's show (meaning they weren't happy with Hugh Jackman?). Apparently Crystal is the most fresh and relevant comedian they can come up with. [The Mirror]
• Despite rumors that Evangeline Lilly has been auditioning for fall pilots, her publicist says she is not leaving Lost and will appear in the sixth season. [E!]
• Drew Barrymore reportedly told Jennifer Aniston to dump John Mayer. According to a pal, "Drew told Jen she could do way better and she'd be a fool to settle for him." This story was brought to you by The National Enquirer so make of that what you will. [National Enquirer]
• In honor of Jonathan Rhys Meyers checking himself into rehab for drinking, this article rehashes his troubled childhood and a quote he made years ago. He said: "I didn't start drinking until I was 25. Since then I've been drunk maybe a dozen and a half times. When I do I'm like Bambi. I'm all over the place, hopeless, like a 16-year-old kid. People notice." [The Independent]
• Jennifer Hudson will sing on Friday's Oprah. This article says it's the first time she's sung in her hometown of Chicago since her family members were murdered. (She's performed at the Super Bowl and the Grammys.) Maybe bringing it up every time she performs isn't helping her cope. [People]
• Despite being diagnosed with tendonitis in her knees, Jewel will be able to compete on Dancing With The Stars. She says: "Yes, it is true I have had a minor setback in my training for Dancing with the Stars, but I am dedicated to getting better and showing the judges and America that I can cha cha with the best of them ... Don't count me out, as I am in this for the long run." [Us]
• There are rumors that Chad Michael Murray and Hilarie Burton are leaving One Tree Hill, but the show has been renewed for a seventh season and a source says, "Obviously, most if not all [of the castmembers] are coming back." [E!]
• Actor Craig Bierko says of his ex, Janeane Garofalo, "When she went against O'Reilly, she was like, 'I'm cutting the cord to show biz and I probably won't work for a long time'. Scary shit happened. South Park did that puppet movie where they blew her head off and then she started getting real death threats. It was a scary time. And she hung in there. She didn't spin things. She was brave. I tell her she's a great American and she calls me a fruit, and it's over. She punches me and three hours later, I wake up!" [The Village Voice]
• A New York magazine intern made the mistake of asking Cyndi Lauper what she thinks of Madonna dating younger men post-divorce. Lauper set him straight: "What's your issue? ... You know how many old geezers do you see with young women. What's the double standard? Who cares? You know, they're both adults. Who cares? What's good for the goose is good for the gander." [NY Magazine]
• Dev Patel, Frieda Pinto, and Slumdog's eight Oscars are on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. Dev says: "I was a 17-year-old kid. I didn't really know where I was going to end up," he says. "And this film sort of fell in my lap. It feels like destiny in a way. Even now, the film winning the Oscar is very surreal. The character's given me so much, not only as an actor but as a person. I remember when production began, I was a ball of nerves, didn't really know how to work in front of a camera or how to express myself. I was a lot more introverted. And Danny Boyle came along – and this incredible city, which taught me about being an optimist. I feel I can hold my head up high now. I feel like I matured five years in the space of five months. I'm 18 and I was at the Oscars yesterday!" [Just Jared]