In fact, Rachel believes that anyone who is pro-choice should not be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, saying, "We wouldn't have world peace until we ended abortion." But this is really nothing new. On the third season of The Real World, Rachel, a young Republican, often got in heated political debates with her left-leaning San Francisco roommates, particularly "bed-wetting liberal" Judd.

Rachel is also not new to The View. She's auditioned for a permanent position on the panel twice before, but was passed over each time, first in favor of Lisa Ling, and later in favor of Hasselbeck. This morning, Rachel—who married Real World: Boston roommate Sean—announced that she's pregnant with her sixth child.

Ayiia identifies as bicurious, and she's worried that this will disappoint her parents. However, earlier in the season, she had sex with another female roommate, and made no mention as to what her parents might think. It seems as though she thinks that her folks wouldn't be upset about her being gay but the idea of her not "choosing a side."

1.) Adderall!

2.) The Stanky Leg

3.) Lil' Monkey

4.) Big Brother's Impeccable Montage Editing

5.) NYC Prep Schadenfreude

6.) Fox News' "Liberal" Views On Pole Dancing
(It doesn't count as "pole dancing" if you're using the pole for balance. Fair and balanced.)

7.) Good News for Gays
They have your kind in Wasilla, and Levi doesn't mind 'em.

8.) Gay Bitch

9.) La Toya: "There's Not Enough Aid For AIDS."
She is manic!

10.) A Hooker/Pimp Relationship Gone Awry?

Instead of investing in a clock, Joey — the guy infamous for his one-night stands, spitting, and emo fits — relied on his roommates' dinky watch alarm to wake up for his "punishment" shift starting at 9am. (The punishment was for a previous missed shift that was at night, which Joey blew off because he got too drunk during the day.) His boss wasn't having it, and showed up with a ticket back to America within the hour.

And Real World-er Derek is totally Johnny. (And nobody puts Baby in a corner.)

Seriously, what a baby. He went on and on about how his expensive guitar was now ruined, although this was just a hunch... and he never bothered to get it repaired in a shop. It was a minimal amount of water. One time, when my boyfriend pissed me off, I put his electric guitar in the tub and peed on it repeatedly, and I had my period, to boot. He got it fixed for $40. I suggest that Joey stop being so Emo, and dry both his eyes and guitar.

Last season, The Real World reverted back to the old days, and the roommates weren't given a mandatory group job. (Personally, I loved the decision. It gave characters their own story lines and allowed them to explore New York City in their own ways.) This season, however is different: Seeing that Cancun has fewer bars - and people - than NYC, the roommates need to explore life beyond their high-end resort and its VIP-designated lounge chairs.

So a group job was arranged for the roomies that is bound to cause a lot of drama and challenges. They're working for a student travel organization, for which they are essentially chaperones for college kids on spring break. The catch? The Real Worlders are not allowed to "fraternize" — meaning hook up — with the students, and worse yet, they are not allowed to be publicly intoxicated, even when they're not working. If they violate these rules, they not only get terminated, but they get sent back home. Ayiiia — one of the two Hooters waitresses living in the house — is totally pissed off about this because she won't be allowed to enter hot body contests or dance on tables.

Givhan makes good points about the dearth of black middle class and professional characters on television, and especially the lack of multidimensional black women. But when she starts talking about TV's application to the real world, her argument just gets strange. She writes,

Time and again, observers grasp for adjectives to describe Obama's combination of professional accomplishment and soccer-mom maternalism. It's no wonder so many eye her with awe and disbelief. Or why a minority still view her with suspicion.

And the reason? "There have been few broad cultural precedents for what she represents." Translation: we haven't seen enough characters like Michelle on TV! The exception is Claire Huxtable, "a cultural comparison more apt than the one made to Jackie Kennedy" (Jackie: real but white. Claire: fake but black. Advantage: apparently Claire). Givhan writes that "television, in particular, speaks to viewers intimately, in the privacy of their homes, building long-term relationships and weaving complicated narratives." Know what else speaks to people in the privacy of their homes, building long-term relationships and weaving complicated narratives? Human beings.

It's true that America is still highly segregated country, and that many non-black people don't live in areas with a thriving black middle class (in Iowa, for instance, black people make up 2.6% of the population and own just 0.7% of businesses). Givhan quotes Cosby Show writer Susan Fales-Hill, who says, "There's a generation with very little exposure to the black professional class, and they stand in amazement. [...] People say, 'You're so articulate.' And it's because I can string a sentence together!" Fales-Hill's experience is in line with many things people said about Obamas on the campaign trail, but Givhan's take on that experience is troubling.

Through her description of the power of television ("TV builds kinship") and her vague analysis of the American psyche ("what [people] do not see on a regular basis, they assume to be rare or even nonexistent"), she implies that it is television's responsibility to prepare us for successful black women like Michelle Obama. This is offensive to black people (invisible unless they're on TV), white people (too dumb to know anything but what they see on TV) and television (not an art form, but rather an educational medium for dumb people). Rather than tackling the social and economic reasons why people might still be uncomfortable with Michelle (racism? Large-scale segregation in cities? Lack of education about other successful black Americans?), Givhan weirdly turns to an outdated fictional comparison, and then wonders why there aren't more outdated fictional comparison to turn to.

Far more enlightening was Ta-Nehisi Coates's look earlier this year at Michelle's roots on the South Side of Chicago and what her life story really says about race in America. Coates quotes Michelle's mother Marian Robinson, who says,

I keep saying this: Michelle, Barack, and my son are not abnormal [...] All my relatives, all my friends, all their friends, all their parents, almost all of them have the same story. It's just that their families aren't running for president. It bothers me that people see [Michelle and Barack] as so phenomenal, because there's so much of that in the black neighborhood. They went to the same schools we all did. They went through the same struggles.

And he closes his piece with the assertion that people like Michelle Obama

offer a deeper understanding of African American life, a greater appreciation of the bourgeois ordinariness of our experience. "People have never met a Michelle Obama," the soon-to-be first lady said toward the end of our interview. "But what they'll come to learn is that there are thousands and thousands of Michelle and Barack Obamas across America. You just don't live next door to them, or there isn't a TV show about them."

There is now.

Even if white people once needed to think of Claire Huxtable in order to understand Michelle Obama, the Obamas have been in the White House almost six months now. Michelle Obama is regularly on television, and Claire Huxtable is not. Why would we compare Michelle Obama to a TV character when, as Coates points out, she has her own show now? Of course, this show is also real, like the lives of millions of black middle-class people who existed before the Huxtables, and will continue to exist after them.

Echoes Of TV's First Lady [Washington Post]

Related: American Girl [Atlantic Monthly]
What Michelle Can Teach Us [Newsweek]
Cosby, Part II [Columbia Journalism Review]
And Claire Begat Michelle! [Columbia Journalism Review]

Earlier: Michelle Obama: The Best Black Female Role Model Since Claire Huxtable?

According to Tim Arango of The New York Times, the network is attempting to steer away from its idiotic slate of programming in order to keep up with the changing tastes of their viewing audience: "After years of celebrating wealth, celebrity and the vapid excesses of youth, MTV is trying to gloss its escapist entertainment with a veneer of positive social messages." In other words, in a recession, nobody really wants to watch a spoiled 16-year-old get the birthday party of her dreams.

When considering a new slate of programming for the network, executives were faced with the reality that young viewers are moving away from programs featuring rich kids flaunting their wealth and looking for shows that spoke to their sense of community, progress, and opportunities to make a difference in the world. "It was very clear we were at one of those transformational moments, when this new generation of millennials were demanding a new MTV," Stephen Friedman, MTV's general manager, tells the Times.

But even as the network attempts to change its image with programs like "TI's Road To Redemption" and the latest version of "The Real World," which, for the first time in years, followed a group of young people who weren't drunk and obnoxious 24/7, MTV still clings to the programs that keep them locked in a downward spiral: "My Super Sweet 16," "MTV Cribs," and "The Hills." MTV's President, Van Toffler, explains: "It's not like you flip a light switch from one type of programming to another," said Van Toffler, "The notion of escapism will still live next to inspiration."

But what MTV fails to understand is that their brand of escapism is embarrassing, tacky, and hopelessly out-of-touch. What may have seemed aspirational 5 years ago now seems impossible and, to a point, terrible: in a time where people are losing their jobs and homes, is Cribs, a show that pretty much encapsulates the concept of buying shit you don't need or can really afford, the best way to provide an escape to people? Or is it just a reminder that buying unnecessary things with money that one doesn't have is one of the reasons we're in this economic mess in the first place?

If MTV really wants to revamp their image and keep up with the kids, perhaps they should stop underestimating their audience and pumping out mindless bullshit shows that center solely on money and stupid things people do with it. Or, you know, maybe they could consider playing music again. Just kidding! That will never happen.

Make Room, Rich Little Cynics, MTV Wants To Do Some Good [NYTimes]

• Kanye West has been charged with battery, theft and vandalism stemming from that incident last September in which he smashed a paparazzi's camera at LAX. He's planning a fly courtroom outfit right now. [TMZ, Mirror, Gatecrasher]

• Here is piece about Natasha Richardson's life and death, including who visited her before she was taken off of life support (Joan Didion; Meryl Streep.) [NY Post]
• Vanessa Redgrave, Natasha Richardson's mother, played Joan Didion on Broadway, and the play was about losing a daughter. [Fox 411]
• Rihanna's "mentor" (?), producer Evan Rogers, says all the attention from Oprah and Tyra Banks makes matters worse: "I think that everyone has good intentions and means well, but it turns up the heat in terms of it seeming like the whole world is telling her what to do." Eh, she needs to listen. [MSNBC]
• Rihanna's car was pulled over last night in Hollywood for having tinted windows and no front license plate. She was in the backseat, not driving. [TMZ]
• A judge has issued a restraining order against Britney's ex, Adnan Ghalib. It's in effect until 2012, and there's no way he can wait that long. [NY Post]
• Uh-oh: Jessica Lange fell in her home, suffering a broken collarbone and a small cut on her forehead. Be well! [Daily Mail]
• Oh snap! LeAnn Rimes is not denying that she's having an affair with Eddie Cibrian, (as noted in Midweek Madness.) She says, "This is a difficult time for me and my loved ones." [NY Daily News]
• Jason Segel brought a date to the premiere party of I Love You, Man and she passed out by the pool and had to be carried out on a stretcher. Must have been an awesome bash! [Page Six]
• Katie Holmes: Not on a special Scientology diet; not pregnant. Despite everything we've heard. [E!]
• Sad face: One of Oprah's cocker spaniel puppies died and the other one is sick. Sadie the puppy is fighting a life-threatening disease called parvovirus. Hope she pulls through! [NY Daily News]
• Shocker: "Kate Moss Parties For The Third Night In A Row." [Daily Mail]
• Prince William has a "Harry Potter scar" but no magical abilities, as far as we know. [Yahoo News via AFP]
• Here is a picture of Gwyneth Paltrow picking off of Madonna's plate. [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
• Some phone billionaire paid Leona Lewis £1 million to sing at his daughter's 21st birthday party. In this economy! [Telegraph]
• The Colbert Report will spend a week taping on a USO tour in the Persian Gulf; Comedy Central is claiming this is the first TV series to shoot more than ep in a combat zone. Colbert says: "I can't tell you where I'm going, but the fact that I can't tell you where I'm going should tell you where I'm going." [Variety]
• Did Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell kiss?!!?!?! [E!]
• More rumors about Liz Hurley's marriage: "He keeps flying off to India. There's no sign of that longed-for baby. And gossips whisper about her terrible temper..." [Daily Mail]
• Gossip Girl spinoff news: Josh Schwartz says the new show will focus on Lily, played by Brittany Snow. "Brittany and Krysten Ritter have amazing chemistry as these mismatched sisters and Andrew McCarthy plays their father, which is incredible. We also got No Doubt to record a cover of Adam and the Ants' 'Stand and Deliver' for the show. They're going on tour and they don't have an album, so this is the only new song that they've done. They performed it on the show and everybody, Gwen [Stefani] and the band, were just super into it." [E!]
• As previously posted, Project Runway's Kenley Collins assaulted her now ex-fiancé with a cat yesterday and was arrested. She says: "It was a miscommunication. Fights happen, and that's that." But… what about the cat?!?! She also threw her laptop and three apples at the dude. [NY Post]
• Taylor Momsen tops this list of "Worst Celebrity Mullets." [ONTD]
• You know what's cool? How the new Real Housewives Of New Jersey — Italian ladies with mob ties — isn't stereotypical. At all. [NY Post, NY Daily News]
• Girls have "figured out his schedule" and are now stalking James Franco outside of his classes at Columbia University. At least they're learning something? [Page Six]
• Are the final four American Idol contestants already chosen? [E!]
• Kate Bosworth is single again; she dumped hot boyfriend James Rousseau. [Star]
• A folk singer is accusing Lil Wayne of copyright infringement. What a world. [NY Daily News]
• Alex Rodriguez is suing over a real estate deal. [TMZ]
• Chow Yun Fat will play Confucius in a new film, which is a pretty big deal, no? [Yahoo News via AFP]
• Thank Zeus: VH1 is bringing back Behind The Music. Lil Wayne and Scott Weiland have signed on; expect sex and drugs and drama! [Yahoo News via Hollywood Reporter]
• Actor Stacy Keach was hospitalized Tuesday after suffering a mild stroke. [Variety]
• "She was a wonderful woman and actress and treated me like I was her own. I didn't see much of her over the years but I will miss her. My heart goes out to her family. This is a tragic loss." — Lindsay Lohan on Natasha Richardson, who played her mother in The Parent Trap. [E!]
• "It was my responsibility as a kid to regulate her pills. I remember sitting in hotel rooms, opening capsules, emptying out the drugs and filling the capsules with sugar…I was taught to never, ever call an ambulance, no matter what happened. I was to call my father or someone else never an ambulance because it would get into the press. I was taught at a young age to lie, to deceive, to manipulate." — Lorna Luft, on her mother, Judy Garland. [Page Six]
• "He's been in touch a little. The apologies come, and he was like, 'I made a big mistake.' And I'm like, 'Yeah, yeah, I know. Go ahead and say what you need to say to feel better and to sleep at night.'" — Dita Von Teese on Marilyn Manson, to Inked magazine. [Page Six]
• "When I got the call, I was playing pool with Scott. I remember picking up the phone and someone started asking me how the Veterans Day parade was. At first I didn't even recognize who it was, but it was my brother. He just sounded so down in the dumps, I had never heard him like that! He told me he got the letter I'd been dreading and everything just changed. My mind was going a mile a minute. Everything disappeared, Scott, the cameras, I was just absorbed in that phone call. At first I wanted so bad for my brother to say he was joking, but he wasn't." — Ryan Conklin, of The Real World, who was called back to serve in Iraq. [LA Times]
• "When me and my dad played pool, he'd always beat me. I'd like be putting 'em quickly. But he'd be really slow and methodical and then just wait for me to mess up. And as soon as I did, he'd be like this [swishing noise]. So when I decided to take that method, and really take my time and take one careful shot, I'd always beat him. Always. I just know now that if you take your time with something, things just seem to work out best." — Idris Elba. [USA Today]

Judging from last week's premiere of the show, we knew that much of this season would focus on Chet's obvious sexual repression. In this clip, he marvels at his gay roommate's dick size, and then gets dressed up in an outfit — guyliner, faux hawk, "terrorist scarf" — that someone might wear if they were about step out as a "douchebag" on Halloween. He finds out that the bar he's going to with his roommates is in Chelsea, which he learns is a gay neighborhood that, according to one ill-informed roommate, is all about S&M.

Above is an audition tape of one of the roommates who's been cast on MTV's newest installment of The Real World. (This time, they'll be getting drunk and making out in Hollywood.) Her name is Kimberly and she's kind of an amazing human being in that she has absolutely no idea just how completely reprehensible she is. (Seriously, she has to be seen to be believed.) She brags about her "headlights" (her nipples), repeatedly mentions how much she hates fat and/or ugly people, talks about the time she got so wasted she didn't remember how she lost all of her teeth, and expresses her desire to be famous. Congratulations, Kimberly! Your stupid dream has come true!

Here's where Wurtzel's self-absorption is most evident, but also where she makes her strongest argument. As one of the "third wavers" of feminism who included Katie Roiphe and Susan Faludi, Wurtzel says that she and her sisters promoted "Do Me" Feminism. "I appeared topless on the cover of one of my books, a decision I stand by still," she writes. "But I don't think the idea that you could own your own orgasm was ever intended to teach college coeds that it is a good idea to spend spring break in a shower with your roommate in a motel room in Daytona Beach having a lesbian encounter for the cameras of Girls Gone Wild. That's not feminism!"

As Dodai pointed out earlier this week, Wurtzel is right: those spring breakers are not embracing feminist principles when they lose their shirts. I am not of Elizabeth Wurtzel's generation — I am of the generation that Hugh Schwyzer praises for such "optimistic" feminists as Feministing's Jessica Valenti and Amanda Marcotte — but I agree with Wurtzel that things were better in the halcyon days of the 90s.

Take the Real World as a cultural barometer. When the show debuted in 1992, there were three women on the show, Julie, Becky and Heather. Each one had career aspirations: Julie wanted to be a dancer and took classes constantly; Becky was a musician who played at clubs in the city; Heather was a rapper. The women went on dates and had both relationships and hookups, but they were not getting wasted and competing with one another for male attention. None of the three were conventionally beautiful. Flash forward to Season 19 in Sydney, Australia. Besides the young Iranian woman, Parisa, who is derided about her looks by the other female cast members, the other ladies are interchangeable bleached blondes with fake tits or empty-headed brunettes with long, flowing hair. Kelly Ann got on the show because in her audition video she stripped down to her undies, on which she had written, "Make it Hott: Pick Me!" Shauvon left the show to get back with her boyfriend, whom she had originally broken up with because he was making her choose between him and her career.

Again, the question is: what's happened in the intervening 16 years? Is it the pornification of culture because of the internet? Did we become inured to the idea of women as objects because of the Starr report? Can we blame Britney for this one? Can't we have sexual freedom without flashing a camera?

Bitter Ashes Of Burned Brassieres [Los Angeles Times]

It's Not All About Wurtzel [Los Angeles Times]

Ashley Dupre In Girls Gone Wild Video [New York Post]

Related: Some Young Women Maybe Be Confusing Confidence With Carnality

The Real World: Female Empowerment Is A Stranger To The Seven Roommates