The gals were even more pissed about the fact that Kelly was hours late for the event that she'd not only lent her name to, but her image. (She did a photo shoot for the invitations.)

As for Simon and Alex, they invested $7,000 on a recycled feedbag from an impoverished village that some designer turned into a couture corset, which was described as "idealizing a non-profit in a very chic way."

Ramona was concerned about the economy in her own way: She filmed an audition tape for HSN, to sell her jewelry line. I'm currently obsessed with how insane she looks in her Housewives bumper.

Let's all have matching desktop wallpaper (click to download larger version):

I also wanted to share this:

First of all, there's no such thing as being "too equal." Being equal is like being alive: you either are or you aren't. Secondly, sometimes Ramona reminds me of Roger Rabbit.

And finally, what's up with Simon and Alex's elaborate dreamcatcher?

Let me just put it out there right now that both Mr. Goldberg and I felt really out of place at this thing. First of all, even though I've lived in NYC for over 10 years, I know nothing about "society" beyond a couple of boldface names I've read in Page Six. Both of us were in jeans (all of the ladies were wearing dresses and we even saw one dude there in a tuxedo), and I'm pretty sure I was the only female who dared to eat anything off the cheese cube platters. Anyway, the only person I recognized in the crowd was Devora Rose, the Editor-in-Chief of some magazine I've never read, who appeared on an episode of The Fashionista Diaries and told one young woman that she should try not eating.

The show was playing on a large screen suspended from the ceiling so that people on both the first and second floors could see. Every time one of the wives would come on-screen, people would cheer in varying degrees. Countess LuAnn de Lesseps seemed to get the biggest response, which I guess means that she's either really popular or invited the most friends.

We made our way up to the second floor to see if we could find some of the cast. Goldberg noticed Alex McCord immediately, since she was wearing the $2,700 Roberto Cavalli dress that we watched her pick out in St. Barths — the one Simon said he could see her wearing to the Met. Not too long after, we saw her better half fetching a drink at the bar, in a Sgt. Pepper-y jacket he later told us he got from Burberry. Then we walked by the Countess, just as her housekeeper/right-hand man Rosanna popped up on the screen, and the Countess and her friends all yelled out, "Wooo! Rosanna!" We were standing next to her kids during a segment where she gives them a new puppy. They were really cute and talked about how good they think it came out.

After the show was over, a DJ started playing generic crowd pleasers ("Kiss," "Oh What A Night," Beyoncé) and housewife Ramona took to the dance floor immediately. Goldberg couldn't resist, and went out and joined her. Finally, after downing our drinks, we approached Simon, who was super nice (even though i kinda spilled his drink on his Burberry jacket). As soon as we got the footage we needed, I wanted to hightail it out of there, but Goldberg was like, "Oh, come on. We could get great stuff if we stay here and watch these people get really drunk." But the open bar was over, and I wasn't about to pay $15 for a drink, and I sure as shit wasn't about to observe drunk people while staying sober.

Earlier: Real Housewives Of New York: Fabulous Homes, Fabulous Vacations, Fabulous... Husbands?