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Posts Tagged “

The Pick Up Artist

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clips

'The Pick Up Artist': The Students Become The Teachers


Last night's finale of The Pick Up Artist was a bit of a bummer. We were hoping that for the final challenge they would have to "fuck close." Yeah, yeah, we know it's not really about that, it's about having confidence and blah, blah, blah... but come on. What's a reality dating show without sex? So the guys had to teach some other chumps how to talk to create an "avatar," "open sets" and "stack" and all that. Brady was assigned a hipster-y nerd type, who certainly had his own "peacocking" going on. But then Brady tried to turn him into a cheesy Guido complete with bronzer and one of those stupid tooth charm necklaces. Needless to say, Kosmo's guy did way better, securing him the title of Master Pick Up Artist.

3:30 PM on Tue Sep 25 2007
By Slut Machine
2,536 views, 33 comments

Latest by n/a: @KurticusMaximus: AGREED! Mutton chops are my unexplainable weakness. more »

trash tv

'The Pick Up Artist': Now They're Insulting The Strippers


You know the term "don't bullshit a bullshitter"? I couldn't stop thinking that when I watched last night's episode of The Pick Up Artist, in which the dudes were expected to hit on exotic dancers and get their phone numbers. (Side note: I've always wondered why they're called "exotic" dancers and not "erotic" dancers.) Anyway, I know that getting their digits is supposed to signify that the guys are getting really good at their game, but seriously, the girls will string anyone along for cash because it's their fucking job. Watch in the clip above as Brady makes a total ass of himself with one of the dancers. (Later on he actually gets a dancer to make out in the limo with him.)

3:00 PM on Tue Sep 18 2007
By Slut Machine
3,191 views, 60 comments

Latest by CyranoBergerac: @melliejellybelly guys don't really do that, do they?! If I ever got the guts up to approach a girl in a club/bar (which I've never done) I would be trying to find someway of convincing HER there was something special enough more »

pick-up artists

My Mid-Morning Conversation With VH1's "Mystery"

Today the esteemed news service Afrojacks posted a number purporting to belong to VH1 Pick-Up Artist Mystery, host of VH1's The Pick-Up Artist. I dialed it, and was greeted by a welcoming voice. Then, a disconnect. Then, a ring! I picked up and commenced conversing with a man caller ID identified as VON MARKOVIC, ER on subjects ranging from lesbian porn to his love of the band Tool to Scott Baio's shortcomings to period sex to Carl Sagan to his appreciation for the art of mutual posterior-licking. And not to indulge in such a thing, but I was charmed! After the jump, the full text of my conversation, or at least, some version of the full text based on what I typed while trying to think of what the fuck someone who actually knew if Eric Von Marcovik was Mystery (Google: yes) would ask the most famous man in the world. More »

3:20 PM on Thu Sep 13 2007
By Moe
30,188 views, 131 comments

Latest by emilyg: @far-far: Was he named... SEVVY?? more »

clips

The Guys Are Too In Touch With Their Feelings On 'The Pick Up Artist'


Remember last week when the guys were all bawling during elimination? That carried over into this week, when the boys all wept and embraced. Then Joe D.—you know, the one who lives in a room in his parents' house with no door and whose only friends are from an online RPG — got all pissy when Pradeep the Creep slapped him in the face when they were joking around. Then Kosmo got all affected by the drama and couldn't focus during the "seduction" lesson. That house is more menstrual than Top Model, for real.

4:30 PM on Tue Sep 11 2007
By Slut Machine
2,267 views, 31 comments

Latest by n/a: Yeah, the fact that these guys have used Mystery's lines on actual real-live women and not gotten laughed out of the club is due to the fact that they're in Austin. The most violent reaction you'll get out of more »

clips

'The Pick Up Artist': Boys Don't Cry... But Men Do


Do you see that screen grab of Mystery from last night's Pick Up Artist? Take a look at his left eye. See that shiny thing? That's a tear! All those motherfuckers cried during elimination this week. And here we thought that the most embarrassing, exploitative part of last night's episode was when the contestants all had to wear Speedos to the pool party. (Mystery wore crushed velvet, natch.) Anyway, we thought it was sorta sweet how supportive these guys have been toward each other during the whole season, but we did think it was a bit much that they were openly weeping together.

5:45 PM on Tue Sep 4 2007
By Slut Machine
3,813 views, 40 comments

Latest by Meaux: @bberry: "[Commenters complain that] 'this show is sexist' yet so many of you are calling these men "pussies" for crying. It doesn't take a rocket science to see how much of a bastardization of feminism I'm seeing most of these more »

trash tv

'The Pick Up Artist': The Teaches Of Peaches


The boys on last night's episode of The Pick Up Artist got to make out with peaches in order to prepare for their next field test: Landing the kiss. So far, we're really enjoying Mystery's wingwoman Tara. She's cute and confident and her only major character flaw is that she's friends with that Dr. Seuss goth raver. Anyway, we thought it was interesting that the most useful lesson came from the women. Oh, also, Tara's friend with the big boobs? She totally made us Lezebels for a minute there with her kissing instruction. Girl's got moves! After the jump, more of Mystery's mysteries. More »

12:30 PM on Tue Aug 28 2007
By Slut Machine
5,429 views, 40 comments

Latest by n/a: @BAngieB: It's from True Romance with Christian Slater and Patricia Arquette. Slater brings home his new wife Arquette to meet daddy Dennis Hopper and tells him she tastes like a peach. When they take off the next morning, Arquette pops more »

trash tv

'The Pick Up Artist' Finally Offends Our Delicate, Female Sensibilities

Last night's episode of VH1's The Pick Up Artist was the first one to actually offend us as women. Previous lessons given by the show's protagonists, Mystery, and his buddies Matador and J Dog, seemed so retarded they were harmless. Besides, their intent seemed to be focusing on giving the poor schlubs under their care some self-esteem, not weapons of deception to be used against women. But last night, the guys were taken to meet a group of little girls to practice their conversational skills. The lesson? That women are like children and can be controlled and easily influenced if dealt with a certain way. Ugh. Anyway, in the clip above, Mystery shows Pradeep how to establish "compliance" in a "gambit." These guys are so fucking D&D, how they rename simple things—like anecdotes and establishing personal space—with fanciful terms. Alls we know is that if someone used that finger gambit on us, we'd poke him in the eye. After the jump, we take a look at Mystery's mysteries. More »

3:30 PM on Tue Aug 21 2007
By Slut Machine
7,374 views, 58 comments

Latest by AvgElitist: I hate this man. For his demeaning views toward women. For his systemization of something that should be organic. For his goggles. Mostly I hate him because as a woman who goes to bars, I am now forced to watch more »

trash tv

'The Pick Up Artist': Extreme Makeover Edition

We're sort of gutted about the fact that Spoon decided to leave The Pick Up Artist last night, so we've assembled a tribute clip. His roly-poly awkwardness and sweet giggle was growing on us. However, we totally understand why he wanted out of there, and actually, we respect him even more for it. Just before Spoon's exit, Mystery told him that he's not "a special snowflake." We're still trying to figure out if that was an insult or a compliment. OMG! We're actually left thinking about shit Mystery says! Does that mean he just "opened our set"? After the jump, let's laugh at Mystery's clothes. More »

4:30 PM on Tue Aug 14 2007
By Slut Machine
3,908 views, 43 comments

Latest by n/a: I don't know how or why I got sucked into that whirling vortex known as The Pick Up Artist, but I thought Spoon was such an adorable lamb chop!Seriously I'd date him in a minute, just the way he was. more »

clips

'The Pick-Up Artist' Seals Our Vaginas Shut

The Pick-Up Artist, VH1's new reality show that premiered last night, is sort of like Charm School but for guys—guys who not only lack game, but apparently a set of balls. Of the eight adult men in the house, half of them are virgins — including a 45-year-old — and all of them have difficulty talking to women. This is where a guy named 'Mystery' comes in. A "master pick up artist" who wears eyeliner, fuzzy top hats you'd expect to find at Spencer Gifts, feather-accented trench coats, and has a lebret pierced through his flavor saver, he and his pals 'J Dog' and 'Matador' are on hand to teach the guys how to approach and woo a woman. Each episode, one guy will be eliminated based on his lack of progress, until there is one guy left standing, who will then receive $50,000 and get to "travel with the world" with Mystery. In the clip above, the professionals show the dorks how it's done as they work the room with cheesy bar banter. Seriously, would any of these tactics work on you? But the biggest mystery of all? This show is kind of fascinating!
The Pick-Up Artist [VH1]

2:00 PM on Tue Aug 7 2007
By Slut Machine
4,677 views, 49 comments

Latest by bakerblooms: While I agree that the appearance of Mystery isn't exactly something that makes my loins burn with desire, I do see how his techniques work. I am willing to bet that many of us women have been at a bar more »