• Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman have been shopping for a Mercedes or a Porche. Kate Gosselin just bought a Toyota Land Cruiser that seats 8+, but it seems Jon isn't planning on ferrying kids to soccer practice. [Radar Online]

• Mischa Barton has hired a trainer and started hitting the gym. People suggests this may be just what she needs because, "She has big self-esteem issues," according to a source. "She hates her legs. She isn't comfortable with her body. It's been a big source of stress and self-hate." Working out is a healthy choice but talking to someone about those feelings of "self-hate" is probably a good idea too. [People]
• Kourtney Kardashian is pregnant. Cue blizzard of blog posts speculating on the baby's paternity, sudden attention from paparazzi and then People magazine post-natal baby-weight piece. [E!]
• There still hasn't been an official statement on Steven Tyler's condition after falling off a stage, but Joe Perry says he broke his shoulder blade in two places. "No concussion. Nothing internal," said Joe, "So it's like he [was] in a bad bar fight. [Like] somebody had a baseball bat." He added, "They're still running tests. MRIs, everything, X rays. I really don't know what's going on." [People]
• There are more details about the arrest of Cameron Douglas' girlfriend Kelly Sott for allegedly trying to slip him heroin hidden in an electric toothbrush. The guards watching Cameron, Michael Douglas' son, who is under house arrest at his mother's home got suspicious when he asked Sott to bring over personal items but seemed particularly concerned with the toothbrush. Sott has been jailed without bail. [N.Y. Post]
• As a result of the incident Cameron Douglas has been transferred to the Metropolitan Correctional Center in New York. [People]
• MSNBC is reporting that Kate Hudson wants to have A-Rod's child and told him "they'd make a beautiful baby together." We'd question how MSNBC got their hands on this news, but a close read reveals they picked it up from In Touch. [MSNBC]
• Yet, within the same gossip column MSNBC challenges In Touch's cover story this week about Angelina Jolie "literally hogging the spotlight" at the Hollywood premiere of Brad Pitt's Inglorious Basterds, saying they sat together and looked happy at the afterparty. [MSNBC]
• Brad Pitt took Pax and Maddox to a Green Day concert last week. He had the boys wear headphone and earplugs when the music got too loud and Pax even fell asleep. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Lopez has been (relatively) out of the limelight recently, but she's fighting her way back. J.Lo's on the cover of the cover of the 500+ page September issue of InStyle. [Just Jared]
• Paula Abdul has gotten an offer to judge American Idol... in Australia. [Radar Online]
• Guy Ritchie may lose the liquor license for his London pub because residents are complaining that it's too noisy. The police have installed a microphone on a nearby building and will be monitoring the noise level for a few weeks. [Daily Express]
• After a Madonna concert in Denmark, Swedish concert-goers tried to cram into train cars and wound up fighting and vomiting on the platform, causing train delays. [UPI]
• Kim Kardashian dyed her hair honey blonde and lightened her eyebrows. Her hairstylist says, Kim "was pretty brave - she's never colored her hair before." [People]
• RHONY's Bethenny Frankel is on the cover of Engagement 101 magazine, wearing a ring on her finger, but she still won't confirm that she's engaged. [ONTD]
• RHOA's NeNe Leakes was on a radio show this morning and said of her fight with castmate Kim Zolciak, "if she was truly injured she should have filed charges ... Kim is not innocent here." She added, "Is she still at Target in her Bentley?" [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson albums like Number Ones and Thriller are still outselling new albums weeks after his death. [N.Y. Times]
• The Osbournes are filming another reality show for MTV. Though the whole family will be featured, the show will focus on Kelly Osbourne and her fiancé Luke Worrall. [The Sun]
• The police went to Kirsten Dunst's house last night after her silent alarm went off. Though she used to have a stalker, it turned out she'd accidentally tripped the alarm herself. [TMZ]
• Katy Perry performed a show at an amusement park in Australia but wasn't allowed to go on the rides because it would be too hard for her security guards to keep an eye on her. Also, did you know that in Australia cotton candy is called "fairy floss"? [News.com.au]
• In the new issue of Playboy Heidi Pratt says,"When I was shopping for my boobs, I wanted the best, so I sat down and flipped through a bunch of Playboys." She adds, "I plan to get a few more upgrades ... I'm sure as I get older I'll need some touch-ups... I think I want to go bigger on my boobs for [Spencer]." [People]
• "Away from the film, I think, performing [on stage], sometimes it is harder being a girl. I think there are more male comedians out there performing. And I know I've come across difficulties when I do perform. Like I remember one of my first performances, once they announced my name and heard I was a girl - the audience was composed of mostly male comics - and because I was a girl, they all walked out. I think they expected me to talk about typical ‘girl material', like talking about periods and babies, or something. I think sometimes you come across those difficulties, performing. But I'm not sure, I haven't come across any of those difficulties in film. I'm very unaware of what that's like." — Charlene Yi [Women And Hollywood]
• "Carlos [Santana] will constantly send you messages out of nowhere. Carlos will call me at 10 at night and be like, 'Listen, I had a dream about you, and so much good is happening, but there's dark forces at work, and when you get out of here, I have this woman who wants to cleanse you.' I think Carlos' most important piece of advice ever was that he taught me the difference between being a celebrity and being a famous musician." — Rob Thomas [CNN]
• Did you know that you're ruining Hayden Panettiere's life? She says of fame, "It's very, very difficult and people have no idea what they do to peoples' relationships. They destroy them. The paparazzi and the public. The public wants to read about your personal life, and the paparazzi give it to them by nosing into your personal life and saying things that are just not true and horrible." She adds, "I used to walk my dogs in my pyjamas. You know something's not right when you're lying in bed for 15 minutes in the morning going, 'How do I get milk for cereal without having to leave my house?' I would be so happy if I could walk down the street without someone coming out of the buses." [Daily Express]

• Madonna's adoption of a second Malawian child: Denied.

A spokesperson says the judge's decision had to do with "residency requirements" and the fact that the girl was being well taken care of in the orphanage. Will Her Madgesty appeal? She's actually wanted to adopt this child, Mercy, since she met her in 2006. [CNN, Telegraph, ABC News, People]

• Sacha Baron Cohen totally has a random black baby in Bruno, to mock Madonna, perhaps? [Daily Mail]
• While it is indeed good news that Britney's ex, Adnan Ghalib, has turned in his gun — for which he had a license — the question must be asked: Why did a paparazzo have a fucking gun? [E!]
• Two things about Jessica Simpson maybe being on Dancing With The Stars: She is an actual star, but we all know she can't dance. [MSNBC]
• Jennifer Lopez wants more kids but loves the attention of the spotlight and doesn't want to be a stay-at-home mom, says a random source. Dilemmas! [Gatecrasher]
• Amy Winehouse is back in St. Lucia, and who could blame her? [Mirror]
• Gymnast Shawn Johnson is trying to put the stalker stuff behind her and says, "I'm doing really good. Keeping my mind set on the dancing, that's the most important thing for me right now." [ET]
• Pencil this in if you must: Sex And The City 2 hits theaters may 28, 2010. [E!]
• If you want to see the show tunes that were on the iPod President Obama gave the Queen, click the link. "Shall We Dance" seems like an obvious choice, but it's kind of amusing to see a song from Rent on there. [CBS News]
• Oh lord, Barack Obama may have broken copyright laws by buying music and then giving it away. [Wired]
• Check out shots of Brad Pitt from Vanity Fair; he's in character as a Nazi-killer from Inglorious Basterds. [Socialite Life]
• The guy who tried to break into Jamie Foxx's hotel room — and who has been hanging around the set of Foxx's latest flick — has been arrested. It's crazy that Foxx had to force the guy out of his room and slam the door in his face! [E!]
• Johnny Depp is in Puerto Rico shooting a flick called The Rum Diary and looks adorbs. That is all. [Socialite Life]
• Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers will be part of an "all-star" recording that a source is calling "Disney's version of 'We Are the World.' It's about kindness and passing it on." If there is anything about purity rings or virginity I am suing God. [E!]
• You know Miley Cyrus' little sister Noah is an actor, right? She says: "I think it's amazing to have Miley as a sister because I look up to here and she's like my role model because she tells me everything to do that's right and I really learn everything from her." [The Star]
• Kelly Killoren Bensimon: No longer modeling for Saks Fifth Avenue. [Page Six]
• Five words: Hugh Jackman naked in Wolverine. [Socialite Life]
• Rising Sun Pictures, the Australian visual effects company that worked on Wolverine, swears it is not responsible for leaking the flick online. [The Star]
• James Franco is going to star in another stoner comedy called Your Highness. [Pop Sugar]
• LeAnn Rimes had dinner with an "unidentified male friend" and OMGISSHECHEATINGOMG. [Just Jared]
• Maybe you heard about this? Some show called ER had its finale last night, after fifteen seasons on the air. [E!]
• If you live in Boston, you won't see Jay Leno's 10pm show at 10pm — you'll see the news instead. [E!]
• The BBC has been fined for the lewd phone calls made by TV personality Jonathan Ross and comedian Russell Brand. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Charlie Sheen's infant son remains in the hospital. [People]
• Why in the name of Zeus can this woman not rest in peace? Anna Nicole Smith's dad is planning on suing her former lawyer/boyfriend/pill supplier, Howard K. Stern. [MSNBC]
• Pilot Chesley Sullenberger already has a two-book deal; now there's a TV documentary about the hero coming to TLC later this year. [NY Daily News]
• Chef Jamie Oliver has a brand new daughter, Petal Blossom Rainbow. She joins sisters Poppy Honey, 7; and Daisy Boo, 5. Brain explodes from cutesy twee names in 3…2 … [People]
• Got sunshine on a cloudy day? The Temptations will perform at the NCAA Final Four! [Yahoo News via AP]
• Woody Allen's latest flick is shot in New York — this after the last four were shot in Europe. Welcome back! [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• The Rolling Stones will reissue several albums, remastered, but with the original track listings and sleeves. [Mirror]
• First it was one station in Florida; now 16 TV stations are refusing to air the Osbournes' new show. [Daily Mail]
• Blind item! "Which wholesome TV host shocked partygoers when he pulled out a baggie of Colombia's finest?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I was driving once with my best friend - this was when I was in my 20s — I remember ripping my faux eyelashes off because they were driving me crazy, and sticking them under her dashboard. [A week later my friend called]. She said, 'Um, Brooke? I found your fake eyelashes stuck under my dashboard - why the hell did you put them there?' I was so embarrassed! But then she goes, 'And then I decided to put them on, so I'm wearing them today!' I was hysterical. How gross, right?" — Brooke Shields. [Gatecrasher]
• "With a black president, we've got to come up with a new excuse. Can't blame the Man, when you are the Man." — Wanda Sykes. [WSJ]

• Madonna is making moves in Malawi: This picture at the link shows 4-year-old Mercy, the girl she's trying to adopt, holding hands with possible new sister Lourdes. [Daily Mail]

• Oprah faces yet another scandal involving her Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa; seven students allegedly engaged in "inappropriate behaviors." [Socialite Life]
• This report says that even though girls at Oprah's school were expelled, this is not a sex scandal. [MSNBC]
• Lisa Ling's sister Laura and another journalist being detained in North Korea are headed for a trial on the basis of "already confirmed suspicions," which doesn't sound good. [People]
• Bridget Moynahan is furious with Gisele Bundchen for telling Vanity Fair she loved Tom Brady's son like he was her own. Someone close to Bridget says: "If Gisele loved Bridget's child like he was '100 percent her own,' then she would not talk about him in the press. Discretion and respect are not either of Gisele or Tom's virtues, as was evidenced even when the child was still unborn and they publicly flaunted their relationship without any discretion whatsoever." [Page Six]
• Kate Moss is supposedly in New York to open the new TopShop here and OMGCLOTHESOMG. [Daily Mail]
• Shocker: Britney's Candie's ads have been Photoshopped! Won't someone think of the children? [Daily Mail]
• Josh Holly, the dude who hacked into Miley Cyrus' email and had his apartment raided by the FBI back in October is still being investigated. Special Agent Scott Augenbaum says: "We're still working on it. He hasn't been arrested." Guess what Holly has been doing in the meantime? Hacking celeb MySpace accounts and spamming their "friends." [E!]
• Speaking of Miley, she looks ever so uncomfortable on the May cover of Glamour. [Just Jared]
• Stephen Colbert is warning NASA to name a new wing of the international space station after him or he will "seize power as space's evil tyrant overlord." [CNN]
• Holy crap yay! Taye Diggs and Idina Menzel are expecting their first baby! [Socialite Life]
• Singer Natalie Cole is in desperate need of a kidney; she went on Larry King last night to talk about it and dozens of emails came in, with offers from people saying they would get tested to see whether their kidney could be donated. Sometimes TV redeems itself. [CNN]
• In this photograph, Robert Pattinson looks like a folkie singer with long hair and a guitar. Scarier than a vampire? [E!]
• Kelly Rowland has left Columbia Records, the label she's been with since her Destiny's Child days. Good luck out there! [E!]
• American Idol's emo musical theater rocker, Adam Lambert, has a fan in Neil Patrick Harris: The How I Met Your Mother Star was in the audience last night and says, "No male in this competition has sung so well. He really hit those notes." [E!]
• A TV station in Panama City, FL decided that Osbournes: Reloaded was "not keeping with community standards" and declined to air the show after American Idol. [E!]
• A sneak peek at the new Sherlock Holmes flick: "Leave it to Robert Downey Jr. to turn Sherlock Holmes into a wisecracking action hero who ends up handcuffed naked to a bed." [Yahoo News via AP]
• Rachel McAdams says filming the Sherlock Holmes movie was "cold and dirty." "The 1800s were kind of dirty, I realized. I didn't think about that before." [Mirror]
• Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani will never collaborate musically: "We come from such band mentalities that it's something we've really done well to avoid," Gavin says. [Mirror]
• Dreamworks animated flicks like Kung Fu Panda and Monsters Vs. Aliens will be shown on FX, thanks to a deal between the channel and the distributor. [USA Today]
• Star Jones says her mind and body are not in sync: I'm still 300 lbs. in my head some days," she told Oprah. [People]
• Wanda Sykes and the Fox network are finalizing a deal for a Saturday late-night show. Bring it! [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• Some Slumdog Millionaire DVDs were released without the "making of" feature and "deleted scenes," which were advertised on the box. Buyers are bitching to Amazon about it; Amazon is blaming Fox. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Pedro, a film about the HIV positive Real World castmember Pedro Zamora, premieres tonight on MTV and LOGO. [LA Times]
• The Seattle home where Jimi Hendrix grew up has been destroyed; preservation efforts failed. [Mirror]
• Liam Neeson has completed Chloe, the film he was working on when his wife Natasha Richardson died. [CBS News]
• R.I.P Andy Hallet, who played the demon Lorne on Angel. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Blind item: "Which Academy Award winner, who constantly denies his philandering ways, was outed after sleeping with a publicist who blabbed to everyone?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I'm going to get smashed after doing this." — Ed Westwick, at the Dressed To Kilt show, before which he apparently stripped down to his underwear in a corner to change into his kilt. [Gatecrasher]
• "I break down a couple of times a week, at least. It gets overwhelming. Sometimes I think that I can't take this anymore. I just want to live a normal life. Olivia [Palermo] kind of mothers me and looks at me as a pet project…I'm not some country bumpkin. I'm from Los Angeles." — Whitney Port on The City. [Page Six]
• "If women look like her, that would be the perfect world. She doesn't need to change anything. Who likes stick skinny girls? Where's the flavor? Whoever likes those stick skinny girls never had sex before in their life." — Dancing With The Stars' "star" Gilles Marini, on people talking about Cheryl Burke's weight gain. [E!]
• "I want my dogs to be in my wedding, I am so serious." — Jennifer Hudson. [Mirror]
• "Girls are scary. Large groups of girls scare the (crap) out of me." — Kristen Stewart. [USA Today]
• I haven't read the books, but I saw the movie… I thought the movie was really bad." — Whitney Port, on Twilight. [Perez]

• Lindsay Lohan is reportedly pissed that Katie Holmes is on Glamour's April cover; LL was under the impression that her Madonna shot would get the cover. Insiders say that was never gonna happen. [MSNBC Scoop]

• Evidence in the Chris Brown case includes Rihanna's blood-stained Gucci gown, which she wore to Clive Davis's pre-Grammy party the night of the incident. [E!]
• And now the DA has received the case from the LAPD. [TMZ]
• Attorneys for Chris Brown are in talks with the DA's office, hoping to cop a plea deal. They're pushing for probation instead of jail time. [E!]
• Reportedly, the night of the beating, Rihanna told cops that Chris Brown had been violent toward her in the past and things were getting "more violent" as time went on. Also, there are more photos — taken the next day — where the bruising and swelling on Rihanna's face is more severe. [TMZ]
• Did Rihanna recently tell cops she won't testify? [NY Post]
• Chris Brown may be in court today. [NY Post]
• How did the paparazzi know that Chris Brown was jet skiing in Miami? Did he call the photo agency? [Page Six]
• Breaking: Mercury-poisoned Jeremy Piven seen eating tuna tartare and calamari salad. Fishy! [MSNBC]
• Reese Witherspoon is on the cover of Elle magazine, and says of beau Jake Gyllenhaal: "He's fabulous. He really is a fantastic guy. Unfortunately, he's not in the movie, so we can't really talk about him." She also talks about being a young mom: "When I first had Ava, I couldn't afford [help]. And it was so hard. I was out in Los Angeles, living [away from my family]. I really didn't have any friends. And I had a baby. No one else who was 22 had a baby. I couldn't go out." [Just Jared]
• Katherine Heigl is being a diva on the set of her latest movie, Five Killers. An insider says: "She reportedly refused to film any scenes until her pregnant assistant ran around and got her a Coke Zero. She refused to eat lunch next to anyone or have anyone speak to her once the cameras stopped rolling." [NY Daily News]
• James Franco, actor and MFA candidate, who attends NYU and Columbia simultaneously, has sold a collection of short stories to Simon & Schuster. [The Daily Beast]
• Matt Damon is preparing for his role in a film about Nelson Mandela by doing rugby training. But he plays a rugby champ, so it's okay. [Telegraph]
• Hmm, Dakota Fanning is in negotiations to play lead singer Cheri Currie in The Runaways, the biopic of the '70s all-girl band. Can you see Dakota like this? Oh, and you know Kristen Stewart is playing Joan Jett, right? [Variety]
• Benicio Del Toro met with Venezuelan prez Hugo Chavez and said he "had a good time." "He's nice," Del Toro told journalists. [Mirror]
• Chris Martin says he's given Natalie Imbruglia "the best Coldplay song of all time." This should be interesting. [The Sun]
• Russell Brand has been seen "snogging a new girl." [The Sun]
• What's this? Ivana Trump's marriage to 36-year-old "Italian stallion" Rossano Rubicondi was a contract to get publicity for both of them? You don't say. [Gatecrasher]
• An episode of the Osbournes' reality show will air on March 31 after American Idol. The network is running it as a "special" and not a series, but we may see all six episodes, eventually. Yay? [Variety]
• Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino are suing a film distributor and watch company for ads tied to their film Righteous Kill. Endorsements without consent? [Reuters]
• Liz Smith talks to Sharon Stone about her upcoming projects; apparently Stone has two flicks coming out — one with Christopher Walken; the other with Va; Kilmer and 50 Cent. Of Fiddy, Stone says: "He is smoking hot, brilliant!" [Variety]
• Nia Vardalos of My Big Fat Greek Wedding has a new flick set in Greece. Her character, Georgia, "moves on a whim to Greece, and [tour guide] is the only job she could get," she explains. "She is a history professor who is all about facts and figures," which only bores the tourists. "All they want is a T-shirt of the Parthenon." [USA Today]
• Michael Jackson lawsuit of the day: He's suing an auction house which is selling off his personal possessions. [AP]
• By the by, Michael Jackson's first show at London's O2 arena is July 9. [Fox 411]
• Sofia Coppola and John Waters were both spotted at the Armory Art Show in New York. Why they were there on a "press preview" day is questionable. [Mediabistro]
• Chris Isaak's has a show on the BIO channel, and his cohost is a dog named Rodney. "Rodney is not 'my' dog, because you can't own a living thing, OK," he says. "We're friends" — then Isaak breaks into song. [CNN]
• Jerry Hall, 52, plays an older lady toying with a younger man in her new Chanel ads, but says she wouldn't date a dude in his twenties: "They listen to such horrible music. They haven't the same references… And I find it a bit creepy if you're having sex with people the same age as your children." The ads are hot, though. [Daily Mail]
• People paid money to see a Toni Braxton show, and got a "Toni Braxton" show — the lady on stage was an impersonator. [TMZ]
• Kirk Douglas, 92, stars in a one man show. [AP]
• Johnny Depp's half-brother, Daniel Depp, a screenwriter, has just released his first book, a thriller/detective novel set in L.A. [USA Today]
• Great piece on the legendary Blake Edwards — responsible for flicks like Breakfast At Tiffany's and the original Pink Panther movie. He says: "I enjoy laughter. And I really, truly feel that if there were some way to distill it, that you could go to your local pharmacy and ask for 16 ounces of Pure Pratfall, I'd probably make it to 110. I think it's the best medicine in the world." [WSJ]
• Contrary to reports, Ed McMahon is not dead. [Perez]
• RIP Horton Foote, screenwriter of Tender Mercies and To Kill A Mockingbird. [USA Today]
• Blind item: "Which closeted jack-of-all-trades just became secretly engaged to her girlfriend? Word is, the two will wed soon in N.J." [Gatecrasher]
• "I've since found out Rihanna's got the same thing, so it's not really – I mean she's very cool – but I thought I was being original." — Lily Allen, sort of regretting her "shh" tattoo. [News.com.au]
• "I did not enter into motherhood with any sense of equanimity or grace," she adds with a laugh. "I'm surrounded by women who are much better mothers than I am, and they come to it much more naturally." — Felicity Huffman. [LA Times]
• "Meryl is really amazing and she has done some interesting stuff, but it's just she doesn't leave a lot of roles for the rest of us. It's an ongoing problem getting parts for older women." — the amazing Miranda Richardson, who is in The Young Victoria and whom you may have seen in The Phantom Of The Opera, The Hours, Harry Potter and the Goblet Of Fire or Sleepy Hollow. [Telegraph]
• "I don't think I'm a control freak. I think I'm just fearful. I operate from a lot of fear, like, of things being lost or forgotten or neglected. Losing the spiritual rather than the physical. It's so funny to me that somehow I've been portrayed as a very, like, closed-off or uptight person. I'm very open." — Reese Witherspoon, in Elle. [Just Jared]
• "It was very cool. He called and said, 'Would you mind getting on the phone with my son?' I felt like Yoda to young Skywalker." — Ralph Macchio, on speaking to Will Smith and son Jaden about their Karate Kid remake. [E!]
• "When I started Home [collection] they thought, 'who is this "Charlie's Angel" telling us about furniture and antiques?' But once you really know what you are talking about, it does not take long for people to recognize that. It is all about backing it up with knowledge. But in the business world, as a woman, you really do have to represent yourself in the proper way otherwise you won't be taken seriously." — Jaclyn Smith, on her KMart line, which is doing extremely well.
  [Reuters]
• "I'll be totally honest: That was his idea. He just sort of said, 'Hey, I'm gonna do this - I hope you're cool with it.' And I thought, 'OK, well, I mean, he's good and he's a talented guy and it wouldn't hurt having him in the movie. I suppose yeah, OK, sure.'" — Colin Hanks, on his father, Tom, playing his dad in new flick The Great Buck Howard. [WWD]

• Drew Barrymore and Justin Long: Dunzo. Sigh. They seemed so ridiculously happy, didn't they? They've been together since August 2007, though they knew each other for seven years before getting serious. Drew's been through so much… Sniff. [Us Magazine]
• Kate Moss and Jamie Hince: Also splitsville! Sob. Now Cher is stuck in my head. [People]
• Matthew McConaughey is a dad! Camilla Alves gave birth to a baby boy yesterday. Matt and Camilla are both "stoked." [Us Magazine]
• Lily Allen is back with Ed Simons from the Chemical Brothers. This is according to diligent reporting by checking their Facebook profiles. [The Sun]
• Oh! And Samantha Ronson bought Lindsay Lohan a $21,000 Cartier ring. It's not an engagement ring, it's a token of her commitment. But yeah. Ah, love. [Mirror]
• James Haven and Maddox Jolie-Pitt visited Angelina Jolie in the hospital over the weekend. Still no twins! [People]
• Amy Winehouse is addicted. To tanning beds. [The Sun]

• Wait! Amy Winehouse as Doctor Who? Seriously? [The Sun]
• Ashley Dupré, the high-class hooker of whom Eliot Spitzer was a client, is developing a cable reality series. Hmmm. Possible names: Hookin Ain't Easy, Girl Gone Mild, You, Me & Dupré. Meh. Got anything? [E!]
• Did Nicole Kidman name her new daughter Sunday because Keith Urban has a song called Sunday? Or is it because Nic's Catholic and still bitter about her Scientology experience? [MSNBC]
• Steve-O says that after 115 days of sobriety, he's "back in the looney bin." Uh-oh. [USA Today]
• Pete Doherty missed a £60,000 gig this weekend because his cat went into labor. Kittens! [The Sun]
• Serena Williams's maybe-boyfriend Common was in London where — what a coincidence! — Serena was kicking ass at Wimbeldon. She had a house, he had a hotel room, the whole thing is super hush-hush. [E!]
• Maggie Gyllenhaal checked in with Katie Holmes before she agreed to play the part of Rachel in the new Batman flick. "I wanted to be sure, first of all, that I had her blessing," Maggie says. "And I was assured that I did. I'm a big fan of hers, I think she was really great in the first movie. And yet I felt like it wouldn't have done anyone any good if I tried to imitate her. Really what I decided was that it had to be a whole new woman. If I'm going to do what I do well, I have to be free to do it." [Contact Music]
• Shaquille O'Neal is supposedly getting divorced, and yet he was all hugged up with the wife in the Cayman Islands over the weekend. [TMZ]
• Selma Blair was one of the only Hellboy II stars who didn't have to wear prosthetics or heavy makeup, so naturally, she teased her castmates relentlessly. "On the hottest days, when the other actors [couldn't] breathe in their makeup, I breeze in and say how sweaty I feel in my cotton tank top," she says. I plan to see this movie, and I'm not ashamed to say so. Anyone else? [Page Six]
• Are you interested in Kid Rock's "skanky panky"? Click here, no one will judge you. But it's not that interesting. [Rush & Molloy]
• Psyched about Mamma Mia!? Don't get your hopes up for an ABBA reunion tour. [Yahoo News]
• The Osbournes are coming back to TV! The family will host a prime-time variety hour kinda like Sonny and Cher had. Good idea? [Reuters]
• News you did not need to know: Flavor Flav lost his virginity at the age of six. [Perez Hilton]
• Keanu Reeves' court transcript regarding a paparazzo's negligence lawsuit will be sealed because it's none of your business. [E!]
• Kanye West may be taking anger management courses. [StereoHyped]
• "I thought innocent until proven guilty also applied in U.S. law. It seems sad when, as everybody who has had a drug problem knows, it takes supreme effort to get where I am today. I was really looking forward to doing my first live tour for a decade, and to be told that after all this hard work, I am not welcome in the U.S. for even six short weeks is heartbreaking. I am hardly a threat to national security. I am just a performer trying to do his job." — Boy George. [Newsweek]
• "My life is part humor, part roses, part thorns. I'll come off the stage at Texas Stadium (and) I'm a rock god. And then, an hour and a half later, I'm throwing a football and waiting for a cheeseburger from a truck stop at Carl's Corner, alongside a freeway. That is the balance in life." — Bret Michaels. [USA Today]
• "I don’t expect to ever get married again or have children. I am never at home and every woman gets sick of it… If I was them, I would never put up with me for long — and they don’t." — George Clooney. [MSNBC]
• Bette Midler answered Vanity Fair's Proust Questionnaire. Her life motto: "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke." [Variety]