What Better Way To Celebrate Being An Iraqi Woman Than Blowing Shit Up?

Remember when female suicide bombers seemed totally exotic? Well, there is one glass ceiling the Better Half of The Iraq has spent the past year detonating. Monday's bombing in Kirkuk, wherein four Sunni lady bombers sacrificed themselves to kill 57 and wound another 280 of their fellow first and second-class… » 7/30/08 1:00pm 7/30/08 1:00pm

But Doesn't The Bush Administration Care About The Nation's Heroin…

Society has a drug problem, if numbers like these » 7/28/08 10:30am 7/28/08 10:30am are any indication (and they are). I mean, don't get me wrong, drugs are an excellent way for consumers to waste time, but add to that the snitch-killing and the crop dusting and the weapons stockpiling and the car detailing and wiretapping and the condom swallowing…

Leona Helmsley's Dog May Not Talk, But He Can Sort Of Explain The…

Today's evidence the economy is going straight to the Inferno: 600 Starbucks stores are closing, which will leave a gaping hole in the anchor of countless strip malls and exurban power centers. Oil prices have sunk car sales and rentals to historic lows, and the fact no one is traveling anymore has left casinos » 7/02/08 10:00am 7/02/08 10:00am

The Evilest Evildoer In Administration Evil Shows His Evil Face!

Meet David Addington, Dick Cheney's Dick Cheney, the dark force behind the dark force behind the defenestration of the constitution. You may have met him before, via that New Yorker piece wherein Colin Powell tries to get it through someone's thick skull that the Bush Administration doesn't care about the… » 6/27/08 11:30am 6/27/08 11:30am

How Does Lara Logan Get Iraq News On National TV? A Little Thing She…

Lara Logan is a CBS News correspondent in Iraq who just got a big promotion after telling Jon Stewart last that the "soldiers feel forgotten." The promotion means she will come back to DC, which won't necessarily help the soldiers' predicament much, but…well, I'd say at least she probably won't die, but she said… » 6/25/08 3:20pm 6/25/08 3:20pm

Obama Is A Machiavellian Ari Gold Sellout! Will Scarlett Johansson…

Yesterday while Crappy Hour was in progress Barack Obama totally sold out the like MAJOR ISSUE OF HIS WHOLE POLITICAL CAREER and we didn't really talk about it because the campaign's media fellater relations department still hadn't distributed its key talking points, but then they sent out this video and as you can… » 6/20/08 10:00am 6/20/08 10:00am

Mom Who Fled Her Honor Killing Husband In Basra Shot Down On Street;…

For weeks the story of the lovelorn Basra teenager who was beaten to death by her father and brothers in a crime met with high-fives and applause by the local law enforcement authorities has…well, gone relatively unnoticed in the Western press, perhaps because it's so fucking depressing. And now it's over. Layla… » 6/02/08 12:30pm 6/02/08 12:30pm

The "Natalie Portman Breakup Fantasy" That Got One Soldier Through The…

What possessed the vast preponderance of the humans throughout history to endure the misery of everyday existence? Yeah, I would still be wasting time pondering that sort of thing, which is why I read the weekend's Modern Love, the work of a soldier recently home from Iraq, where he went in pursuit of that abject… » 5/19/08 12:00pm 5/19/08 12:00pm

Good Morning, Voters! I'm Calling On Behalf Of "Women Voices." If You…

In which we adopt the persona of Women's Voices. Women Vote robocaller and misinformation chief Lamont Williams, if he only had a voice. » 5/01/08 10:00am 5/01/08 10:00am

Yo voters, this is , calling because you need to register to vote. Oh really? You already registered? But did you ever receive the ? Did you send in the detailed form? Because we…

Pope Offers Pro-Choice Politicians A Very Light Snack

  • Oh my GOD POLITICIANS WHO UPHOLD THE RIGHT TO A BABYKILLING RECEIVED THE BODY OF CHRIST DESPITE KILLING BABIES. What is next, women who actually have submitted their wombs to this murderous murder method? The abortion doctors themselves? WHAT IF THE VIRGIN MARY HAD MADE THIS SO CALLED "CHOICE"?? No one would have…
  • » 4/16/08 6:30pm 4/16/08 6:30pm

"I'm Trying To Get To An Endpoint. That's What All Of Us Are Trying To…

  • That's actually a Barack Obama quote, but he speaks for David Petraeus's friend Angelina Jolie too, who spent the day in DC talking about the importance of education in the Iraq so as the children have the audacity to hope and not just the audacity to engage in sectarian violence. [Reuters]
  • Elsewhere in Washington,…
  • » 4/08/08 6:30pm 4/08/08 6:30pm

'Miss USA' Marketers: Watch This Pageant Cuz Pretty Chicks Are Idiots!

It's taken us a while to get around to this, but the new commercial for the Miss USA pageant — airing on NBC on April 11 — is sort of a mindfuck. Instead of sweeping previous embarrassing moments under the rug, NBC is embracing them and encouraging TV watchers to tune in because they might just see a beautiful woman… » 4/03/08 12:30pm 4/03/08 12:30pm

Barack Obama Would Rather Be Shooting Dunks And Fathering Illegitimate…

In a telling interview with the erudite Philadelphia radio program The Angelo Cataldi Show, Barack Obama said he would rather be Dr. J than president. (Hillary Clinton, meanwhile, gave some speech comparing herself to Rocky Balboa while wearing a fuchsia blazer.) Feminist hero Heidi Montag of The Hills announced her… » 4/02/08 10:00am 4/02/08 10:00am