The Good:
Shoshanna Gruss wears clear colors beautifully. I also really like how well her designs accommodate breasts.
I was seriously conflicted about the constellations on Lydia Hearst's breasts (whoa, sorry, I'm like Russ Meyer over here today), but overall, she looks lovely.
Loud, yes. But Ashanti's young and I think this is fun. Plus, the belt breaks it up and the shape's terrific.
Oh, gang, I wish there were a better shot of Natasha Bedingfield's outfit. There were enough partial views and shots with bits of the bodice in them that by careful deconstructive work I was able to determine that her dress is, in fact, very cute.

The Bad
Olivia Palermo: go to jail, go directly to jail. Your dress is covered in spangles, and topped with a lace-trimmed vest.
Full disclosure: I own more than one Charlotte Ronson garment. She looks absurd. Also, like an American Apparel mannequin. (And yes, I realize that's a redundancy.)
Can I express to you my boredom with the shrink-wrapped strapless minidress? Sure, Julie Henderson has the figure for it. But it's profoundly uninteresting without being classic. (Can you tell I'm just trying to avoid using the "I'm over it" construction? So arbitrary and dismissive, it is.)
Nicky Hilton might have gotten a pass on this Missoni-esque number if she hadn't gone and added an equally busy python platform.
I agree, Carmen Kass doesn't look terrible; she's probably incapable of it. But the more I look at this outfit, the more convinced I become that it involved a striking disharmony of proportion and approximately five busy details too many.
Can we put Dina Lohan in here on the basis of hair? My 8 Ball says it is decidedly so.


The Ugly:
I feel a little bad putting inker Kat Von D here, since this is basically just how she dresses. The fact that she wouldn't give a fuck is a palliative.

Images via Getty

The Good:
As Christian Siriano would say (first and last time, I promise), Posh looks so Audrey I can't stand it.
I'm sure it says something terrible about me that when Lauren Conrad wore this exact same Dolce & Gabbana to the Dark Knight premiere, I made her a "Bad." But somehow it works on Michelle Kwan!
I should admit here that I've never watched One Tree Hill. Yet for some reason I've always liked Sophia Bush, who always seems to look far more elegant than anyone would expect.
Lisa Leslie knows how to work her long lines.
College softball player Angela Tincher looks adorable and summery.

The Bad:
Obviously, Kate Walsh is stunning — but what's with the Malibu Barbie costume?
I feel kinda bad calling out poor Alan Thicke's wife — but then, she's not exactly trying to fly under the radar with this one.
I have the non-driver's reverence for racer Danica Patrick, and I totally get wanting to wear the most inappropriate driving shoes on your day off. But the look's just not working, and GW-style, I cannot tell a lie.
Kourtney Kardashian seems to kind of want to go classy with this one. But she's conflicted about that desire.
Brittny Gastineau is not troubled by any such conflicts. She makes her priorities clear. Also her breasts.

The Ugly:
Now here, my friends, is a dilemma. Will the prize go to:
Girl Next Door Kendra Wilkinson...
Fellow GND Bridget Marquardt
...or Playboy model Sara Jean Underwood?

Images via Getty

Not Completely Awful (But Still Bad):
Glenn Close: not gonna win any innovation awards with this one — but then, she's not trying to.
Actress Dichen Lachman. Not too bad, right?
Catherine Dent. Again, nothing mind-blowing, but in this case that's a good thing.
What? Nothing wrong with Niecy Nash's separates.

The Bad:
American Idol contestant Ryan Starr: oy.
I don't know how to refer to Joely Fisher's turquoise garment — jacket? blouse? tunic? — so let's not talk about it.
At first glance, Leven Rambin's dress seemed okay. The more you look, the uglier it gets. I was going to say something about Dorian Gray, but it didn't actually make sense.
I grew to respect Gretchen Bonaduce while watching Breaking Bonaduce a few years ago. However, I dislike her crummy-looking suit intensely.
I guess I can see what Tamara Taylor was going for here, and maybe it could have been engaging were it not for the shocking sash. Yes, it shocks me.
Maybe if you live in Hollywood, as Crista Flanagan presumably does, and you go to these events every day, eventually it's like being in the Twilight Zone and those clothes that were bad become good, and who's to say they're not, if everyone else is wearing them too? I mean, is there a platonic truth?

The Ugly:
Yup. Bobby Trendy!

[Images via Getty]

When Maggie G. goes glam, she rarely puts a foot wrong.
Bold, yes. But if anyone can pull off a silk tap suit, it's a confident 20-year-old like Blake Lively.
I hate it when people are just ID'd as someone's date — in this case Gary Oldman's -— especially when they've taken the time to dress so nicely.
It must be hard for secret Englishman and Gossip Girl cad Ed Westwick to have such a naturally evil look to him all the time, even when he's trying to attend a film premiere on a Monday night in a nice khaki suit.

The Bad
I was afraid the fact that this was Lauren Conrad was hurting my objectivity, so I called my boyfriend (who doesn't know about stuff) over and innocently asked him what he thought of this dress. He reflected, and finally said that the skirt was okay, but "the top part sucks." This was my initial reaction, too.
I feel like we've seen Edie Falco look awkward on the red carpet before. And she's such a good actress! But there's something exceedingly awkward about this ensemble; she looks super harsh.
I don't really know why Karina Smirnoff has become a red carpet fixture. A lifetime of ballroom dance costumes seems to have had a serious impact on her aesthetic.

[Images via Getty]

The Good:
Unfortunate expression notwithstanding, Kyra Sedgwick is looking good.
Jennifer Lawrence is on The Bill Engvall Show. "The Bill Engvall show is set in a Denver suburb and follows the life of ‘Bill Pearson,’a family counselor whose own family could use a little dose of counseling."
I don't know, gang. This is kinda harshing my mellow, but it somehow suits Holly Hunter.

The Meh:
Conceptually, there are things about Melissa Sagemiller's dress that I like. But pink and black is dicey: as Genevieve Antoine-Darriaux, author of the immortal Elegance, says, pink is one of those colors that "cheapens" black. And despite all its good, retro-inspired intentions, this number puts me forcibly in mind of something off of Daddyos.com, this website that makes rockabilly apparel.
Again, don't get me wrong: I don't exactly hate actress Sarah Clarke's dress. But I do think it looks kinda surf-shop-like. The print puts me forcibly in mind of, yes, Roxy by Quicksilver.
Gina Bellman's mini is another I just wasn't feeling — although I'm willing to concede that it could work better in person. I do think the camera brings out the dress's horizontal tendencies in an unfortunate way.
17-year-old Graham Patrick Martin is also a Bill Engvall Show kid. He just looks so disconcertingly well-groomed and Hollywood and young-actor-ish!
Gloria Reuben's halter is almost lovely — I just wish the bodice were slightly more assertive.

The Bad:
Beth Reisgraf's unfortunate separates— dress? — are the evening's low point.

[Images via Getty]

You know, truthfully, I'd forgotten why Mischa Barton was considered chic. This reminded me.

Not my absolute favorite on Padma: she looks merely gorgeous rather than stunning.

It gives me great pleasure to be able to elevate Jennifer Hudson to the literal heights of the Good. I can't pretend I'm a major fan of these New York & Co. -style giraffe prints that won't go away, or the severe bob on JH, but I'm delighted to see our lady in something softer. When all the components are in place — defined waist, open neck — structured armor is not always necessary!

By "Good" I'm afraid that in the case of Jasmine Guinness I just mean "grand-niece of Nancy Mitford." I'm actually on the fence with this one: the color's great on her, but it's not doing a whole lot for her overall.

The Less Good:
Actress Jodie Whittaker's dress is sabotaged by its lacy hem. Oh, and her tap shoes.
Shaznay Lewis' mini would be so much cuter were it not made of insulation.
Singer Sandi Thorn's dress is an object lesson: these Grecian-draped tops are incredibly hard to wear, very bulky and almost never a good idea, no matter how pretty the color.
TV presenter June Sarpong is in danger of being worn by her dress's aggressive print. Her booties are no match for its power.
Certainly not "Ugly"-worthy, but the worst of the evening: actress Hattie Morahan.

Keep A Child Alive

[Images via Getty]

Here's a clearer pic of the man of the hour. I think DJ Cassidy is only, like, 25, so I guess we can cut him some slack. You know how in high school there's always that guy who thinks it'll be super-awesome and ironic if he comes to prom in a blue tux or a top hat or something, and then he just looks like an ass? This is kind of like that.
The New York Times has a piece today about how shorts are really just short pants. Ponder this revelatioon your own time. This is Kat De Luna.
Here is a woman you may have heard of: Lizzie Grubman. Two bits of trivia: 1) I used to wait on her in a restaurant where I worked and 2) she was named "Best-Dressed Woman in The Hamptons" that same summer. Both of these things were bad ideas.
Duo Nina Sky. They were not deemed worthy , by the news services, of individual ID. Or perhaps they chose to go incognito because ensembles did not work out as planned? I can sympathize.
This is a good illustration of why I chose to forgo the usual designations today. See, after looking at all these other outfits, Terrance J. (of and Rocsi)'s, date starts to look pretty innocuous — even relatively good! But then I'll look back on it in a few hours and be appalled at myself.
Here's where things start to go strange. Suddenly everyone, like DJ Sky Nellor, is in virginal white. Well, "white" anyway.
Yeah, "virginal" doesn't really seem appropriate to ANTM's Kenya's dress, either.
I deemed it important that you be able to see this profile view of Cassie's dress

, lest you be fooled, as I was, into thinking it more, um, elegant than it is.

The Ugly:
Yes, she did.

[Images via Getty]

The Good:
I make no apologies for my slavish devotion to Gabrielle Union.
Elizabeth Banks' lovely coral jewelry and classic clutch are exempt from the "Bad" of her gown.
I'm a sucker for a LBD. Actress Jane Bradbury's is not my favorite iteration, but points for, paradoxically, having the guts to wear something unadorned.

The Bad:
I first became aware of Kat Kramer at the TVLand Awards and have since come to recognize her as something of a red-carpet fixture. And no, I am not particularly proud to reveal that I've visited the purported songwriter and actress's MySpace page.
Elizabeth Banks: pretty lady, unfortunate frock.
Once several years ago during the August sales I tried on a stretchy satin blouse with a Johnny collar, I believe at Zara. The moment I saw myself in the mirror I recognized the full ramifications of what I had done. For her sake, I hope Claudia Jordan soon has a similar moment of clarity.
A friend of mine who recently moved to L.A. tells me she's having trouble meeting a guy there. Can't imagine why!

The Ugly:
There is something horrifyingly awesome about the Stevie-Nicks-meets-Elvira audacity of actress Jo Champa's gown.

[Images via Getty]

The Good:
When she's not flanked by creepy suburban dads William Baldwin and Peter Krause, actress Natalie Zea looks fresh and summery in her butter-colored sheath.
Unfortunate that "The Lady in Red" is playing in my head, as thesp Elena Sofia Ricci looks super-dashing. Helen Mirren, classy Dame. (I'm a wit, you see.)
There is some debate (yeah, in my head - what of it?) as to whether this is the same dress a certain diminutive guest-blogger purchased at Banana Republic two summers ago. Either way, the color is stunning on actress Giorgia Cardaci.

The Bad:
Lunetta Savino's ensemble is an artistic and popular failure. Yes, I am both. Art and, um, the People.
After the Banana Republic mystery, Giorgia Cardaci falls into the classic traps of bad length, upholstery damask. Haven't we all!
I was going to refer to Roberta Giarrusso's gown as a "Monet" because at first glance I thought it was lovely and diaphanous. But then I realized that it's actually pretty bad from a distance, too - it is this, after all, which allows for full transparency.

I had a terrifying moment. I actually looked at Giulia Elettra's dress and instead of thinking "ugly" thought, wow, that really looks like something out of the Galante couture show. Don't worry, that's passed now.

[Images via Getty]

The Good:
Singer Carol Decker looks adorable and sassy n her asymmetrical number.
We go on the assumption that Lily Allen exists in a fun, boozy Rainbow Brite world. By those colorful standards, I think she looks kinda cute!
I was on the fence with Scottish singer Amy MacDonald's dickie-like bodice, but I think she pulls it off. You?


The Bad:
See, even if couples who dress alike are dressed amazingly, the whole creepy team aesthetic makes it automatically bad. When the look is already kind of pseudo goth-punk, like awesome Russell Brand and his date, it just makes matters that much worse.
Sara MacDonald (Noel Gallagher's main squeeze) is obviously a lovely lady. But these sleeves are worthy of the flying nun. (Yes, I know it was her habit/veil thing that flew.)
I consulted several images to confirm that this was in fact a starburst on this lady's top, and not a bit of glare in the photo. Was unable to confirm whether she, like me, purchased hers at Urban Outfitters three years ago and regrets it.


The Ugly:
I realize that the recent minidress/tunic confluence has led to a certain amount of confusion, and it looks like TV journalist Kirsty Young was caught up in this maelstrom.

[Images via Getty]

The LBD:
Model Antonia Liskova keeps it simple in elegant basic black.
Um, and so does Polish actress Kasia Smutniak.
...and actress Isabella Orsini.
Actress Romina Carrisi Jr. adds a jacket. Because she can.
You wouldn't think you could go far wrong with an LBD, but oh the pitfalls — as demonstrated by actress Caterina Murino's Jessica-McClintock-like bodice.
Of course, the LBD is not magic, people. It still needs to fit right. Unlike actress Maria de Medeiros' iteration. (Personally, I avoid bias cut like the plague.)


The Non-LBD
Wow, it's kind of sad that a white blouse, like Sabrina Ferilli's, can look this exciting.
And here you see the raison d'etre of the LBD. This should be stunning, right? And yet it's not quite right. An LBD would have hit the spot, Italian actress Amy Bergamo.
Obviously actress Nathalle Rapti Gomez looks kind of amazing. And yet, how much more elegant would this number have been in black?!
I'm not gonna line, Carolina Crescentini: rust is not the new black. And that swathe of fringe had better be a shawl or something.

[Images via Getty]

The Good:
Claudia Schiffer, incredibly chic at Armani.
French fashionista Clotilde Courau wearing this New Look number to the riotously retro Dior show is the equivalent of painting your face with the Patriots logo. Except that this looks stunning.
Helen Mirren, power-dressing to good effect at Armani.
Princess Siriwanwarree Nareerat of Thailand, at Dior.
No one - not Kate Moss, not Lauren Hutton - does dressed-down better than Charlotte Gainsbourg, chicest woman in the world. Here at Givenchy.
There's a lot going on here, but Eva Mendes, at Dior, makes it work.
Not going to lie to you, team. I would get a perverse pleasure out of sticking Nuclear Wintour (at Lacroix) in 'Bad.' But looks like today's not going to be that day. Journalistic ethics, etc.
Who but Wonder Woman could pull off this trying shade of lemon? Lynda Carter, Lacroix.


The Bad:
Socialite and fashionista Becca Thrash looks...how do you say?...not great. I think the problem lies in the necklace. Lacroix.
Not my favorite look on Patricia Arquette, at Dior. The belt, the hem...oh, dear.
If model Joanna Preiss (at Dior) was rocking this with shorts, maybe — maybe — it could just be dressed-down. But the diaphanous skirt takes this in a dangerously middle-school direction.
I can imagine the pressure's on when you've been a fashion icon as Marisa Berenson has. And if she just wanted to say, 'screw this I'm done with fashion' it would be one thing. I mean, I'm not looking iconic right now, either. But she's at the Dior show and I'm at my Grandpa's house.
Incidentally, Liv Tyler's movie, The Strangers, is really scary. I dislike her frock, presumably Givenchy.

[Images via Getty, WENN]

The Good:
Jada Pinkett Smith gives short women a good name. She really knows what she's doing - and always projects a reassuring air of competence.
I was just watching Good Will Hunting the other day and wondering about Minnie Driver. And here she is! And not looking half bad!
Vail Bloom pulls off this draping; the brown keeps it wearable.
Actress Valerie Azlynn. Cute, no?

The Bad:

In most of the images I saw of Charlize Theron, you couldn't really get a good view of her skirt; it was just swirling around her legs diaphanously and I thought, 'oh, that's pretty.' Then I saw this full-frontal and realized that it was, in fact, not pretty at all.
It looks like Queen Latifah was running errands or something and just decided to stop by the red carpet and say hi. In which case, this is fine.
This seems like one of those cases where an outfit that seems okay conceptually just does not make the transition to the red carpet — which, let's face it, likes clean lines. Poor Amanda Peet looks woefully frumpy.
Although not a regular watcher of Sister, Sister (hey, I had homework to do on Friday nights!) I was glad to see Tia Mowry. Less glad to see this caramel confection which is ugly in three different ways and counting.
Liz Wicker would've had me at hello if she'd left that bodice in tact.

The Ugly:

You don't have to have loved Mallory Keaton to be distressed by Justine Bateman's ensemble. And isn't she a designer? I could swear I saw that on E! (The exclamation mark is not because I'm excited.)

[Images via Getty]

Kate Moss is so in her element here. She's all, 'just try and rock a pair of wellies like this, Agy. I dare you.'
I am not personally a fan of the retro-Mickey tee. But apparently Kelly Osborne and her beef Luke Howell feel differently.
Not so much digging K.D. Tunstull's tribute tee, but am digging the skanking a lot.
Self described "dirty fairy", it-girl and sorta-Gwen-Stefani-step-daughter Daisy Lowe, looking clean, but wearing vinyl pants.
Lily Cole chooses love, asinine tee.
Alexa Chung's high-waisted cutoffs scream 'fashionista at a rock show chic.'
Beth Ditto's cute red iteration.
Some would say it's fortunate for Linzi Stoppard that I'm not handing out "bad"'s today.>
Can't tell if Gabriella Cilmi is wearing a German WWII army helmet.
Good intentions by the wayside. Pixie Geldof's getup, wig look absurd.
Let's say, hypothetically, we were doing an "ugly" category. And let's pretend Har Mar Superstar happened to slip into it.

[Images via Filmmagic, WENN, Getty]

The Okay:

Jenny Mollen's Steven-Alan-esque plaid is actually adorable - who amongst us wouldn't wear this? Enjoy it: it's all downhill from here.
Loving the color of Katie Cleary's frock.
And by "okay" I actually mean: "the exact outfit I wore on the first day of 8th Grade, 1994." I think Marissa Jaret Winokur may have actually stolen my vest.


The Bad/Ugly/Back to Bad:
Many seconds of research failed to establish a real overview of Katerina Graham's professional profile. I only know that she is voting for Change, is wearing a really ugly mini.
Jasmine Dustin, on the other hand, "appeared in American Pie Presents Band Camp, Lingerie Bowl, Punk'd, and on the Deal or No Deal season one website, as a substitute model. She was never actually seen on the show. Dustin graduated from Pinkerton Academy. She is of French, Scottish, and Native American ancestry."
Hip-hop artist Teairra Mari could use a nice camisole.
I've been following Brittny Gastineau's progress since Filthy Rich Cattle Drive. Good to see the kid's fighting the good fight, clothes-wise.
Ashley Roberts is a Pussycat Doll. Just putting it out there.

It's either the overly-matchy zebra-stripe shoe or the hose, but fellow Doll Kimberly Wyatt: something is mos def rotten in Denmark.
This well-coordinated little lady is one Brooke Long.

Images via Getty

The Good:

Actress Paz Vega, working what eBay would surely term a "boho retro emo mod" 70s-referencing-dozen-yards-of-awesome.
Don't know actress Clara Lago's work, but she's a vision in raspberry.
You can't imagine how much I want this ensemble— not that I could rival the awesome evilness of Laura Ponte's expression.
When I wrote a paper on color symbolism in The Great Gatsby my sophomore year of high school, yellow stood for moral turpitude or something. But Paulina Rubio looks stunning.
I am not, understand, a muumuu apologist. Just yesterday a hipster in a boutique in Brooklyn tried to sell me one that my boyfriend described as a "Fauvist nightmare" and I said , "No!" But Laetitia Casta looks positively regal.
All I am saying is: were I a Spanish model, a la Raquel Sanchez Silva, and were I attending a high fashion event, this is exactly what I would wear. Luckily this falls into that .000001% of scenarios.




The Bad:
As we have established, I like Loretta Lynn. But Rosa Diez, sadly, is not actually Loretta Lynn and as such, this is a very odd choice for a Vogue Red Carpet.
This is what we refer to in my kitchen as an "accessories-breaker." Singer Marta Sanchez's festive getup could've worked, but went awry.
Eva Gonzalez: is this the tiniest bodice in the world? Inquiring minds want to know.
Once I had this friend and everyone was all, "Amy! Why did you take out your nose ring?" And she said, "because there was a chance someone could look at me and think, 'That girl still listens to the Smashing Pumpkins.'" Martina Klein would have done well to heed these words.




The Ugly (ish):

Claudia Schiffer looks smokin', yet awful.

Jade Jagger. Oy vey, as a man once said.

Images via Getty

The Good:
A little Van Lear Rose, a little 50's prom, a lot fab. Rihanna's short hair keeps this from going too sweet.
Let's give Terrence Howard the benefit of the doubt and assume that cane's functional, shall we? Because the man looks seriously dapper.
Crystal Alkin's dress is gorge.
I gasped — I did! — when I saw Gabrielle Union's goddessy ensemble.
I'm a sucker for anything 70s-inflected, but even so, this kind of dress can be hard to pull off. I'd argue that BET host Danella does so, in spades.
Khaki suits can be so Men's Wearhouse. It's a pleasure to see it done right, as actor Boris Kodjoe does here.
I don't know how much longer this shape can tough it out, but Alicia Keys shows what it can do.
Maybe I get a vicarious thrill out of seeing people work lemon, since it makes me look like a plague victim. Trina's mini would be adorable in almost any bright, though.
Yeah it's kinda hiked up here, but Jordin Sparks' red number is a classic, classy choice.


The Bad:

From what I've observed, rapper MC Lyte is a pretty reliable red-carpet train-wreck. This is actually one of her better get-ups.
Given my fondness for jumpsuits, I almost gave Keri Hilson's lame iteration a pass. But the thing is, for a js to work there must be NO crotch-pulling. And the photographic evidence cannot be denied.
Ledisi's minidress is woefully unflattering. Nuff said, methinks.
Jennifer Hudson: I get the appeal of a structured dress. I do. But is it necessary for her to be strapped into armor on a weekly basis? It looks so uncomfortable — and doesn't seem to express any of the playfulness that makes her so appealing.
Solange Knowles has clearly inherited great genes, questionable taste.
I'll say this for Omarosa: the woman's consistent.

The Ugly:

If I could choose a superpower, I think it would be mind-reading, if only so I could go inside rapper Jacki O's head and try to figure out what she was thinking when she selected this ensemble.
Rapper Lil Mama: most frightening Strawberry Shortcake interpretation to come down the pipe yet!

Least Bad:
Nicole Belstler. I think her skirt has airplanes on it.
Boxing champ Regina Halmich.
Marion Kiechle. It was at about this point that I abandoned the concept of "Good."


More Bad:

Designer Sonja Kiefer.
Charlotte Engelhardt.
Tina Kaiser.
Tamara Sedmak (mit boyfriend Norbert Dobbeleit, obvs.)
Isabell Edwardson.
Gitta Saxx.


Most Bad:
Verena Kehrt.
Anita Wepper (with hubby Elmar.)

Images via Getty

The Good:
Say what you will about La Campbell, the woman's a pro. No matter what legal snafus she's gotten herself into from week to week, she always brings it on the Red.

Nicolo Cardi's unidentified guest (obvi a model judging by gazelle-like physique, that gent's look of self-satisfaction) looks lovely in her metallic column.

I don't know that just everyone could pull this off. But Gucci creative director Frida Giannini absolutely rocks it. (And just N.B., I love the unapologetic red carpet stance everyone adopts in the old world.)

Time was, I had some unreasonable beef with Natalia Vodianova and her English peer hubby. (I think it was based on some Vogue profile that totally glossed over the fact that she was super-young when they met and he was obviously a creepy modelizer. They called it a storybook romance or something. But Vogue profiles make anyone sound insufferable.) I'm pleased to report that they seem unfazed by my disapprobation and look blissfully happy. I like her dress, much.

The Bad:

Tilda Swinton is one of those unabashed "glamorous eccentrics" who, I used to think, could kinda get away with anything. This has changed my mind.

Last week I ran a pic of Nicole Richie in a caftan which many of you felt overwhelmed her. I stand by Nicole, but will say, apply those criticisms to: Margherita Missoni.

Lapo Elkann is an international playboy, industrialist and Fiat heir. None of which explains this suit.

In case you can't tell, the skirt (pants?) of actress Jo Champa's getup is totally sheer.

We really like what Vogue Italia editor Franca Sozzani is doing with the July issue. With her shoes? Not so much. (Malkovich also a mystery.)

The Ugly:

Classic scroll-down situation. This applies only to Giorgio Armani's lower half. Although perhaps the utter normalcy of his top half throw the parachute pants/sneakers into more stark and horrible relief?

[Images by Getty.]

The Good:
Loretta Lynn is, obviously, a law unto herself and this is how we like to see her: Regal, adorable, with just a hint of underlying steel.

Songwriter Madi Diaz has a great dress, cute date.

I'm no Strokes apologist, and I can't say I've ever given guitarist Albert Hammond, Jr. much thought beyond thinking that if you were going to do lead vocals in one song, "Last Nite" was a good one to have chosen. But he looks very dapper here. And, more to the point, warms the heart supporting his father, songwriter Albert Hammond, Sr.

Singer Lee Ann Womack looks crisp, extremely excited in white.

John Legend doing John Legend, convincingly.

The Bad:

Now, you could certainly mount the "Loretta Lynn" defense here: that Joan Jett is a law unto herself, not to be held to normal standards. I took this into account, though, and still thought she looked kinda creepy last night.

I, too, would probably use my hair as an impromptu tucker (that's the 19th c term for a little bodice cover-up) were I revealing the amount of cleavage of Johnny Rzeznik's date.

I thought long and hard about this one, because Natasha Bedingfield's getup is certainly not terrible, even leaving aside my expressed aversion for the color combination of purple and red, her unfortunate stance. Ultimately what damned her was the general disharmony of accessories, and a certain "offness" of proportion - the skirt was just slightly too long for that boat neck. (As a short person, I am obsessive about hemming. It can make or break, people! Half an inch!)

The Ugly:

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you… The band Rouge.

The Good:
Eve is elegant in basic black.

Let me admit right now that I've always been confused as to when exactly Nicole Richie became respectable. Is it when Rachel Zoe styled her? When she hooked up with Joel Madden? Neither of these things seems like the a passport to elegance, but that's why I'm not an A-lister. Anyway, I really like the caftans she's been working lately.

An unfortunate instance of pee-pee stance, but the simple elegance of Rosario Dawson's Little Black shines through.

I think we can all acknowledge that at times Chloe Sevigny's embrace of the avant-garde can be… Less than flattering. This frock provides interest, but remains wearable.

The Bad:

I think Eva Mendes' coral-colored velvet sack speaks for itself.

I just don't get it. I mean, these women's stylists must bring them, like, multiple options, right? And Fergie put this one on and everyone gasped and was like, "That's it!"?

Kimora Lee Simmons (does she still go by "Simmons?") eschews quiet good taste. Or loud good taste.
Words cannot express the depth of my hatred for this shoe trend. And if there were nothing else horrid about it, it foreshortens the leg of a petite dame like Hilary Duff.

The Ugly:

"The Ugly is kind of like the grand prize," mused a friend of mine the other day. If this is true, Lady Victoria Hervey wins it.

Images via Getty

The Good:
Sometimes I wish you could see "Bad" first (I know that would screw with the whole title reference) so that you could appreciate what a breath of fresh air Joy Bryant's divine ensemble is after some of this evening's fashions.

I'm sure Eva Amurri would far rather I didn't describe her as Susan Sarandon's daughter. All in good time, my dear. And your dress is lovely.

Digging Monet Mazur's use of belt.

Ditto Michelle Trachtenberg's groovy clutch.

Not my favorite look on Rachel Bilson, but I do think she's one of the few who could pull this off.

The Bad:
There is a certain horrible perfection to Rachel Zoe in this Return to the Valley of the Dolls hideosity.

You think Gretchen Mol's doing okay. And then you hit the shoes.

You can probably guess, but this pan refers to the center of the sandwich, one Melissa Gellman Weiss.

Tara Subkoff: Qhat is your motivation?!

The Ugly:
I understand that E.V. Day is an artist and therefore above the laws of normal aesthetic standards. This is why she gets her own category.

[Images via Getty.]

The Good:
None of the news wires saw fit to identify this dame beyond "Actor Masi Oka's guest." (They were probably too busy fawning over thespian Jared Fogle.) So, for our purposes, said guest will simply be known as "Best-Dressed Woman on the Red Carpet."

Goodness gracious! I don't know who actor Sendhil Ramamurthy is, but that hasn't stopped me from doodling his name in my notebook, mit hearts, for the past hour.

I do feel that, under other circumstances, Carla Gugino's dress could be a "Bad." And yet, she looks lovely.

This couple is ID'd as "Dentist William Dorfman and Daughter Anna." Whose dentist? Carrell's? The Rock's? Anyway, doesn't she look sweet?

The Bad:Perhaps you have gathered that I am as gentle a creature as Gary Cooper in Friendly Persuasion. And yet, sometimes Anne Hathaway makes me mad! If you had her genetic and monetary advantages, would you show up at red carpet after red carpet in gowns that were both boring and ugly? Why?!

I think "Why?!" also works here. Kevin Sorbo, kids.

Do you think it gives me pleasure to put Jenna Fischer in "Bad," especially when she's showing so much Office solidarity? Of course not.

My issue with Terry Crews (with wife) is, curiously, actually one of fit. Doesn't Gatsby wear a pink suit at some point? It was probably really well-tailored, though.

I always stick up for Giada de Laurentiis on food site commenter boards (yeah, I said it) because I think her recipes work. Sadly, I don't think this dress does.

The Ugly:Tragically, I was unable to find a single shot where Phoebe Price wasn't whirling around like a dervish. However, there were enough discrete shots of each component of the dress to amply bear out its inclusion in this category. Evidence includes: sheerness, patchwork.

[Images via Getty.]

The Good:
Marisa Tomei brings it.

I love it when Laura Linney reminds us she's glam.

Christine Baranski always camps it up, awesomely.

Really want to invoke those "It's a business doing pleasure with you" ads, but can't think of a way. Anyway, Mary-Louise Parker.

Kate Shindel's tie-dye number works, adds some much-needed youth to the r.c.

I always feel like, if you have one major red carpet a year, why not make the most of it. Mary McCormack obviously agrees.

...as does Jenna Russell's train.

The Bad:

We all know how I feel about crimes against breasts. Lacey Kohl, j'accuse.

I don't know, guys. I mean, Daphne Rubin-Vega must have really liked this gown to choose it… Why can't I see what she does?

I think it goes without saying that the Viennese Waltz pose Kathryn Grody is striking with husband Mandy Patinkin is awesome. Sadly, the proportions of her ensemble just aren't working.

Laura Benanti's got the glitz, but it feels a little Vegas.

Mayumi Miguel almost rated "Ugly." In the end, though, I didn't think her unfortunate frock had enough imagination.

The Ugly:
Kathryn Hahn, on the other hand, seems to have hit upon a surefire "Ugly" formula: random, tumor-like growths of fabric.

[Images by Getty.]

When I first started guest-blogging GBU, I had some major philosophical qualms of the 'who-am-I-to-judge' school about critiquing other women's clothes; I entertained putting up a pic of myself in a gown so I'd feel like I wasn't hiding behind my monitor blah blah blah. Whew! Glad I got that bit of nonsense over with before reviewing the Elle Awards, which took place in Barcelona at the MNAC Museum, because this is some serious stuff. For one thing, it was, like, 90% models, and they were not playing around. For another, the bar was set Euro-chic high. Even the disasters were the sort of avante-garde triumph we Americans could never pull off. No job for an emotionally-fraught blogging adolescent, that. Have fun, after the jump.

The Good:

Amber Valetta represents.

Singer Natalia Jimenez's dress is one of the night's best. Sensational gams never hurt.

Most people went sleek, so I appreciate model Nuria March's New Look silhouette.

The one-shoulder trend? I'm pro. At any rate, Judit Masco works it.

Another 'Good Thing' (as Martha would have it): big 70s-inspired necklaces. Makes Helen Swedin's look!

The Bad:
Here is a serious question for you: what is it about the color white that can add ten degrees of tacky to a gown like model Yvonne Reyes'?

This is Jean-Paul Gaultier. I know.

I was a little nervous about including Alejandra Pratt's gown because I wasn't sure if it was maternity. But I don't think it is.

Why so sour, designer Amaya Arzuaga? Oh. Well, I guess I can see why.

Just so you know, my boyfriend wanted me to put model Ariadne Artiles in "The Good." Didn't.

The Ugly:
That's what I'm talkin' about, Veronica Blume. A true "Ugly" should be spectacular, awe-inspiring, best recollected in tranquility. Wel played, madam.

[Images by Getty.]

It's been really hot here in New York. For those of us sans AC, really, really hot. Personally, I've been lounging around in a kimono like something out of a Tennessee Williams play. And one can only assume that "Nikki Midtown", where the 19th Annual Pre-Daytime Emmy Awards Party (or APDEAP, as it's known on my couch), was really hot too. So I'm going to try to go easy on the following collection of daytime stars, many of whom seem to have been enticed by Hot Topic's superior air conditioning. And hey, haven't we all? Fever dream, post-jump.

The Good:
Hey! Remember the other day when Eva was pictured and everyone was all, isn't fellow ANTM Yaya DeCosta also a thespian? Why, yes, she is!

Okay: technically As The World Turns' Ewa de Cruz's floral is borderline. But hers is the best classic bitch face I've seen in many, many a moon.

Marie Wilson's (ATWT)little number gets points for coolness, practicality. (No, seriously: it's been really hot.)

A gentle risk, true. But Amanda Baker's (General Hospital)is one of the few of the evening.

The Bad:
OLTL's Bethann Bonner! Well, it's really hot.

Okay. Kristen Alderson's (OLTL) is the first of the Hot Topic numbers I was talking about.

Britney Underwood's (OLTL) is the second...

...and Jessica Leccia (The Guiding Light) makes three.

The Ugly:
GL's Caitlin Van Zandt. My dear young friend. Twenty degrees ago you'd have gotten off with a "Bad." But I have precisely zero air conditioning and your tights and boots are imperiling my vicarious health.

[Images by FilmMagic]