Of course, that doesn't stop women from wanting their pre-pregnancy bodies back. And the number of women opting for "mommy makeovers" was up 11% last year. Additionally, some critics point out that packaging multiple procedures under a cutesy nickname could convince new moms to have additional operations (none of which they actually need), increasing risk of infection, and, of course, death. Some of the women — like Sharlotte Birkland, pictured above, aren't new mothers. Ms. Birkland, who recently remarried, has a son who is 20 years old. She got a breast implants, a tummy tuck and lipo. Regarding body image, she says, "I don't think it was an issue for my mother; your husband loved you no matter what." But, according to the article, Karen Murphy, a mother of four, bashed mommy surgery on the blog StrollerDerby:

"Those badges of motherhood have turned into badges of shame and, if you're the one caught without a tummy tuck, then you won't get invited to the party," she wrote. "It peeves me no end that something as drastic as surgery, as this blatant nonacceptance of one's own body in whatever shape it happens to be in, has become so pervasive."

Is The 'Mom Job' Really Necessary? [NY Times]

1933_Dec_31_Pariogen On Flickr [Spuzzlightyear1'sPhotostream]
Related: Fat Ankles? [DietBlog]

But wait! Today also sees the news that fertility experts are working on a pill-based method to delay the onset of menopause and allow women to bear children at later and later ages. Hey, we have an idea! Why don't they just combine the two pills? And, while they're at it, maybe they can add in some sort of toxin that makes women stop growing pubic hair!
Menstruation: Cycle Of Pain Or Creativity? [USAToday]
Pill May Help Delay Menopause [Guardian]
A Journal Of The Monthly Renewal Process [LiveJournal]
Earlier: Women Learn To Make Menopause Jokes. But The IT Guy Isn't Laughing!
Period Panties No More!

Perfecting Your Private Bits [Salon]
Enhanced Romance [SF Chronicle]
Related: Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Institute Of America

Last week, when I got a labiaplasty consultation, I had a man doctor look at my lady parts. While he told me that my vadge didn't look "that bad" (thanks?) my labia majora could still be improved upon. He recommended vaginal lip lipo, saying that it was unlikely I would ever lose the labia fat through diet and exercise because I'm not "grossly overweight" (This guy really knows how to give a girl a compliment.)

For my second opinion, I made an appointment with a woman doctor. I'd been tipped off that this doc had hired a PR firm to handle the cosmetic surgery portion of her practice. The reasons behind why a gynecologist would need to publicize such procedures seemed questionable to me. But I couldn't help but think that since this gyno was a woman, she couldn't possibly be on board for making money by allowing women to feel inadequate and self-conscious about yet another part of their bodies.

I have to say that I really liked this doctor right off the bat, which I hadn't been expecting. In her billowing, multi-layered, long black skirt, she reminded me of Stevie Nicks, and that sort of organic, mystical grace comforted me much more than the typical, cold, clinical experience of being examined.

For this visit, instead of making up some bogus excuse as to why I was displeased with my very normal labia, I decided to just let Dr. Blank, Medicine Woman take a look a my crotch and tell me what she thought of it.

I placed my feet in the stirrups. With my lips parted, I kept my mouth shut and let her go to work. To my pleasant surprise, she was way honest with me about how there wasn't much she could do, and she also informed me of some very crucial info that the dude doctor failed to relay, regarding damaging the nerves of my clit (aka my livelihood!), should I go through with any surgery to my labia majora.

You know, I thought that first doctor's idea of lip lipo sounded sort of insane. I watch Discovery Health Channel. Lipo is a violent procedure. I imagine it would ransack your property downtown. I feel for any girl who would be misguided enough to go down that route. I mean, I really feel for her. Just thinking about that shit gives me phantom pains.

Earlier: Pimp My Vadge
We're Beginning To Look A Lot Like Barbie

Patients who sought genitoplasty "uniformly" wanted their vulvas to be flat and with no protrusion, similar to the prepubescent look of girls in Western fashion ads, they found.

The fashion industry can be blamed for many crimes against women, but plastic vaginas? We don't think so. Unless, of course, designer Tom Ford has some sort of collaboration with Mattel in the works.

Top Medical Journal Blasts "Designer Vagina" Craze [Breitbart]
Designer Vagina Surgery Growing Because Of Porn [Bloomberg]
Earlier: Pimp My Vadge
Related: Prank Call To Barbie, Part 2 [Zug]

When I first heard about labioplasty and vaginoplasty a few years ago, it sounded like a procedure that would only appeal to porn stars and women who practice the rhythm method—you know, SUVs—Service Utility Vaginas. But vaginal plastic surgery is a growing trend as evidenced by the opening of practices dedicated to the procedure, like the one I dragged my labes to on Manhattan's Upper East Side.

Frankly, I think this whole cookie-cutter cooch thing is bunch of bullshit. I'm a feminist and everything, but I'll be the first to acknowledge that vaginas aren't always pretty. The thing is though, vaginas are supposed to be like that. And just like snowflakes, no two are the same. I'm sure there are occasions of extreme physical abnormality, but those cases are rare. Because if they were common, then they wouldn't be abnormal, now would they?

Honestly, I have no beef with my lips—they've always done right by me. So when I was finally in the doctor's office, and he asked me what I wanted fixed, I had to think fast on my feet—or in my stirrups, rather. It's really clear to anyone looking that I don't have a labia minora problem, so I made up a complaint about my labia majora. I was somewhat shocked that he agreed that something could be done to improve the appearance of my pussy.

It was weird watching the doctor push and tug at my labia in the promotional Ortho Tri-Cyclen mirror that the nurse was holding up. It was even weirder because he was kind of sexy, with his salt and pepper hair and his toothy grin. Still, it was sort of upsetting when he told me that my outer lips could stand to loose some weight through lipo. No girl likes to be told she's chubby—even if it's only in the labia. Something about that visit was fishy—and it had nothing to do with my legs being spread wide open.

Gynecologists say they've been seeing a slow but steady increase in women asking how to limit and even stop monthly bleeding. Surveys have found up to half of women would prefer not to have any periods, most would prefer them less often and a majority of doctors have prescribed contraception to prevent periods.

"I think it's the beginning of it being very common," said Dr. Leslie Miller, a University of Washington-Seattle obstetrician-gynecologist who runs a Web site focused on suppressing periods. "Lybrel says, 'You don't need a period."'

Well then! Looks like the feminine-hygiene industry doesn't need a lobbyist in Washington either!

First Birth Control Pill Meant To End Periods Poised For Approval [ABCNews]