First of all, you think it's absolutely hilarious to call attractive male politicians gay! In today's piece, you say, "American men know how to deal with male politicians. When they're good-looking, we call them gay. When they're not, we call them 'distinguished-looking' or 'Joe Lieberman.'" Such rapier wit has seldom been found outside a vomit-stained frat basement. What's even sadder is that this isn't even original hackery from you. When you wrote about how to make fun of Obama, you said, "He's well-dressed…He may only be half-black, but he's three-quarters gay." ROTFL indeed!

Okay, now let's get to the meat of your assertions about Palin's sexiness. Stein says, "In fact, what's sexist is men's fear of sexualizing the women we take seriously," which would be a good point, if you didn't preface that statement by writing, "When she posed for Vogue last year, Palin said of the media, 'I wish they'd stick with the issues instead of discussing my black go-go boots.' A good method of getting reporters to do that, of course, is to not pose for Vogue or talk about your go-go boots. Still, I understand her point. Which is that she wears go-go boots." Oh Joel, you clearly take Palin incredibly seriously…as an object.

Then there's the flat-out-insulting pretending to be "funny." "In the last few years — for reasons I assume have to do with either yoga, organic food or advice from Dr. Oz — women in their 40s and 50s have gotten truly, deeply hot. Madonna hot. Demi Moore hot. Stifler's mom hot. In 1990, the only way a woman could have had five kids and still look like Palin was to have been knocked up in high school with quintuplets," you write. It's a double whammy of ists! Sexist and ageist! Well played.

So now is where I will say one thing in defense of this mostly-fucked up attempt at funniness. "I would like to live in a world in which young men dream about sex with a woman who is vice president instead of whatever job it is that Kim Kardashian holds," Stein writes. And to be honest, we'd like to live in that world too! A woman can both be attractive and powerful, and we'd love to live in a world where the highest levels of success add to a woman's allure, instead of subtracting from it.

Unfortunately, just as you said up top, you're far more focused on Sarah Palin's go-go boots than you are on her fiscal policy (even though you claim to be a fan of the latter as well!). And that, in a nutshell, is what's wrong with this campaign: people are far more concerned with all the superficial trappings of Palin than they are with what's going on behind those rimless glasses.

Real Vice Presidents Can Have Curves [LAT]

Earlier: Joel Stein: American Original
And Now All The Bloggers Hate Joel Stein
Every Day Is Slutoween

This man will be a complete and utter asshole, but if your end game is a man at all costs, then good luck to you, lady. Moore goes on and on about how when he was nice to women, he got no ass, but when he started being a dick, the ladies came running! In fact, if Moore is to be believed, they even throw themselves at him at book signings. "Those dudes that think their woman just comes out to get a book signed are probably in for a rude awakening. As I'm hugging them they're whispering right in my ear, so I'm loving it."

Of course, Moore also indulges in some fat-hate just to further prove what a total dick he is:

The fatter you get, the more you decrease your potential single-man pool. Let me give you an example. When you go to the grocery store to shop, do you pick out the nastiest-looking, most rotten, smelliest fruit or meat you can find? Oh, you don't? Why not? . . . It's the same with men when they see baby elephant-sized, out-of-shape women.

Shockingly, a woman publishes this mess. The Re-Education of the Female Is put out by Zane, an African-American erotica author, who says she published Moore's books because she thinks "women should be forewarned and realize what's out there." Zane adds, "If he hadn't put his name on the book, I would've thought my ex-fiance wrote it."

But do we really need to read a whole book from an asshole to realize that assholes exist? The conundrum is positively metaphysical! I can't even muster a lot of anger towards Moore, because I'd have to take him seriously to be pissed about his message. What I'm more pissed about is that any woman deigns to let this kind of guy touch her no no. Because that's the real tragedy here — not that he exists, but that any woman is downtrodden enough to listen to his unfortunate ramblings.

Listen Up, Females. This Man Is Talking. [Washington Post]

Related: Women Are Happy To Be Housewives [Telegraph]