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Romance Novel Readers Love "The Clinch"

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ginseng_you_sing
11/17/08

In reply to Romance Novel Readers Love "The Clinch"
I used to work at a library and romance novels took up so much shelf space. In my mind, they shouldn't have.
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Ipomoea
11/17/08

@ginseng_you_sing: Just because you don't like them doesn't mean others don't. When I worked in the public library, I had no time for the Jeanette Oke books, but they circulated constantly, so obviously people cared for them. And the library is supposed to serve the PUBLIC, not just what I want.
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Minnowish
11/17/08

In reply to Romance Novel Readers Love "The Clinch"
Not technically a romance, but some of the Laurell K. Hamilton Anita Blake series books are seriously hot. The older ones, mostly, lately it's been straight on porn (seriously, she is possessed by some force that requires her to get it on with whomever is near whenever it happens), but the early ones were excellent faux noir vampire trash.
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Ipomoea
11/17/08

@Minnowish: The early ones were pretty good, I think the last super-hot one was Cerulean Sins (finally getting it on with Asher!). I am sticking with both her series because I've invested too much. I felt like Anita was wayyyy too much sex and not enough plot now, and with the Merry series, I always just felt like the sex was a major part of the plot, so all the every-which-way orgies never threw me off the way Anita's did.
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EaterLover
11/17/08

In reply to Romance Novel Readers Love "The Clinch"
NODDING IN COMPLETE AGREEMENT. Fanfiction has looooong replaced romance novels in my horny fiction reading. Benefits of fanfiction 1) free 2) hotter than hot and 3) celebrities! The only down side is that there's so much to muck through so if you find an author/pairing you really like, you must stick with it or be forced to read tween sexual fantasies, which are really like horrible, and involve waaay to much "rhythm older than time."
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Ipomoea
11/17/08

@EaterLover: Some of the fanfic/slashfic I've read has been eye-bleachingly crazy.

Seriously, while I would do just about any member of Queens of the Stone Age (past or present), reading a long and impassioned description of a circle-jerk and more between Josh, Nick, and my beloved Mark Lanegan is just... unnerving.
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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
11/17/08

In reply to Romance Novel Readers Love "The Clinch"
Quivering

Throbbing

Throes

Creamy swells

Climaxed

*anyone, feel free to contributr to the naughty word list*
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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
11/17/08

@terribletwenties: er, contribute. sorry, musta got excited.
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rptrcub
11/17/08

In reply to Romance Novel Readers Love "The Clinch"
Perhaps I am a homosexual because I stared at the guys on the covers of my grandmother's trashy romance novels too long.
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TheFormerJuneBronson
11/17/08

@rptrcub: They seem nice enough to look at, but some of those guys look like they could kill you accidentally (or on purpose) during sex and not even realize it.
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hussein persepolis hussein
11/18/08

@rptrcub: Of course! Explains why I'm a lesbian.
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Sukie in the Graveyard
11/17/08

In reply to Romance Novel Readers Love "The Clinch"
I don't read romance novels. But I did buy about 20 with classic clinches and turn them into art for a friend who LOVES Them.

I also cut out the more erotic lines in the books and made a collage for her bathroom. Handwashing reading :)

She loved it.
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Hana Maru
11/17/08

@Sukie in the Graveyard: That's awesome. You're a good friend.
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TheFormerJuneBronson
11/17/08

@Sukie in the Graveyard: Those both sound really cool! What did you do with the cover art?
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hatepaperdoll
11/17/08

In reply to Romance Novel Readers Love "The Clinch"
I want to read "Ride the Wind" in church.
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Eva_baby
11/17/08

In reply to Romance Novel Readers Love "The Clinch"
Eh. I used to devour romance novels. Now? Not so much. For all the bare chests and heaving bosoms, I find the genre strangely conservative. I find it bizarre that authors of color have such a hard time getting published in the genre and if they do then their books aren't usually shelved in the romance area. Or some authors get talked out of setting their stories in non-British Isles settings. Weird.

But If you want to read about Vampires, navy SEALS, Scottish Highlanders, Dukes named Lucien or about a billionaire's pregnant virgin mistress then it's all good!
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yvanehtnioj
11/17/08

@Eva_baby: I'm super into Marjorie M. Liu's books right now, the Dirk & Steele series. If you feel like giving it another try, the novels are set all over the place (so far: Russia, Nigeria, Hong Kong, northern mainland China, Seattle, San Francisco, Las Vegas), the characters aren't all white, and they're really well-written and smart.

They're fanstasy / romance, though, and I know that turns some people off. (Cue my Mom: "wait, she's psychic?")
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Miss Pontificating
11/17/08

In reply to Romance Novel Readers Love "The Clinch"
I have been watch romance movies lately Sabina, As good as it gets , and a bunch of Cary Grant movies. I keep wondering as cheezy as these dialogues are, why guys do not try these lines. It has to be more effective than some of the stuff they do to con us.

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TheFormerJuneBronson
11/17/08

@Miss Pontificating: Cary Grant FTW. I haven't seen all of them, but oh, the lurve.
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Vivien Smith-Smythe-Smith
11/17/08

In reply to Romance Novel Readers Love "The Clinch"
This is the clinch-free cover to end them all:

(And yes, I am still in bed).
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Jenavira
11/17/08

@Vivien Smith-Smythe-Smith: It's the titles that kill me! Especiall if they feature the word "virgin" the sub-genre of based on virginity are so funny.
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Maiden Curly Crown O'Portugues-Winchester
11/17/08

@Jenavira: or SEKRIT BEHBEHS! that is my favorite because i just don't understand how secret a baby can be. they're loud and smelly, right?
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Vivien Smith-Smythe-Smith
11/17/08

@Jenavira: Yeah, this one belongs to the subgenre 'Medical', which begot 'Australian Authors', which begot 'Mediterranean Doctors'. Such a straightforward title, too. Book was crap though.
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hussein persepolis hussein
11/17/08

In reply to Romance Novel Readers Love "The Clinch"
A zillion years ago when I worked in a bookstore we got a massive display for Stephen King's Misery, which featured a ginormous cut-out "clinch" that had his head on some Fabio-like body. It was so freaking funny we all fought over who got to keep it. Then we realized what a bunch of dorks we were for fighting over something that stupid. Good times!
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TheFormerJuneBronson
11/17/08

@hussein persepolis hussein: Did you ever read the book? It was kind of hilarious, except for the depressing violence. The earlier editions, I seem to recall, had a second cover inside with that picture, as though they were the covers of the fictitious author's Misery novels. The romance writing in it was hysterically wretched. I hear it's out of print now.
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hussein persepolis hussein
11/17/08

@TheFormerJuneBronson: Yes - that is exactly right! There was a little cutout on the cover or something to show SK's face. It was seriously fucked up and funny. I remember being amazed at his ability to write romance so well (I guess?) Out of print? Wow I am so old.
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TheFormerJuneBronson
11/17/08

@hussein persepolis hussein: It's not because you're old; I heard that he let it go out of print after his accident in 99. But I could be wrong about that; I could find no reference to it with just casual research.
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rollergirl76
11/17/08

@TheFormerJuneBronson: Misery is still in print.
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the once and future estrojen
11/17/08

In reply to Romance Novel Readers Love "The Clinch"
No clinch, incredibly entertaining series with lots of divine sex: Outlander by Diana Gabaldon. There are five books in the series. They are heavenly.
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SomeAuthorGirl
11/17/08

@estrojen: Oh good one to throw into the mix here, that is a fantastic series. It also has the benefit of being historically accurate.
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TheFormerJuneBronson
11/17/08

@estrojen: I could NOT get into those. I hear great things; I remember when they were coming out and a lot of people I knew from stitching groups were all over them, but I couldn't make it work. I've always felt guilty about that.
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the once and future estrojen
11/17/08

@estrojen: I'm looking for my Jamie, aye? Although physically, I think I prefer a Roger. Oh, who am I kidding... Any hot guy in a kilt is fine by me.

I always picture Roger as looking kind of like Sufjan Stevens. And I LOVE Sufjan Stevens.
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the once and future estrojen
11/17/08

@TheFormerJuneBronson: It took me a couple of tries to get into the first book. Once the main character found herself in 1745, though, I was hooked for life.
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Ratinski
11/17/08

In reply to Romance Novel Readers Love "The Clinch"
I...would argue against this actually. In fact, a lot of romance novels have moved to this two cover format where the cover is innocuous, and the second cover is the clinch. It's because of the embarrassment factor; a lot of intelligent women read romance and don't like getting THAT LOOK on the train. You know - the 'God, she must be a brainless twit' one.

Having said that, after several years of reading romances, I have gotten over myself. If the Wall Street types on the PATH want to judge me for my porn, then go ahead. I don't care anymore.
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Ratinski
11/17/08

@Ratinski: And by this I mean the original article's premise, not Dodai's. :D
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TheFormerJuneBronson
11/17/08

@Ratinski: Next thing you know, they'll be putting crossword covers on word find books!
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tscheese
11/17/08

In reply to Romance Novel Readers Love "The Clinch"
Dodai, I have just the solution for you.

Print this out and slap it on those racy-looking paperbacks! Now NO ONE will have any idea what the heck your book cover is about! I mean, I sure don't!

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haguenite
11/17/08

Dodai, so you won't be buying The Smart Bitches' Guide to Romance then?

@tscheese: How do I love you? Let me count the ways.
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Chryss
11/17/08

In reply to Romance Novel Readers Love "The Clinch"
Gads, how I love smartbitchestrashybooks.com.
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Maiden Curly Crown O'Portugues-Winchester
11/17/08

@Chryss: love love love. i am super duper excited for their book + plan on requesting it in april as a year-of-being-graduated gift!
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Chryss
11/17/08

@TacoToes: How many lines from them have you swiped? For me, it's approximately 8 BILLION.
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Maiden Curly Crown O'Portugues-Winchester
11/17/08

@Chryss: i pretty much crib all their arguments about romance for when people are like "i now think less of you." and i am all "why must you hate women, friend?" and then i steal all of sarah and candy's cogent points.
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