Fox News Mouthbreather Calls Bachelorette Andi a 'Slut'

Like a lot of people, the cast of Fox News' The Five were abuzz about Monday's Bachelorette finale in which rejected contestant Nick pulled back the show's see-through curtain and admitted that the Bachelorette (in this case, Andi Dorfman) does indeed sleep with several of the men vying for her affections. This… » 7/30/14 7:45pm 7/30/14 7:45pm

The Bachelorette: Why Did You Make Love to Me If You Weren't in Love?

Call it televised heartbreak, call it televised slut-shaming, call it whatever you want, but to speak in Chris Harrison-approved superlatives, Monday evening's episode of The Bachelorette provoked more response than any moment on the show ever. And all because the contestants talked what they're not supposed to talk… » 7/29/14 11:20am 7/29/14 11:20am

Ladies Love Marquel, the Black Bachelor Who Wasn't

On The View Tuesday, Whoopi Goldberg and her peers did something kind of crazy: they criticized the executive producers of a show on their own network for not picking Marquel, a now-ousted contestant on this season of The Bachelorette, to be the next Bachelor. What turned the women onto Marquel? The classy way he… » 6/17/14 6:30pm 6/17/14 6:30pm

Bachelorette Star Loses Shoulder in Tragic Photoshop Incident

ABC's The Bachelorette will kick off its 10th season on Monday, May 19th. Unfortunately, it seems that this season's star has already suffered from the unthinkable: she's lost her shoulder to the brutal chop of a heavy handed photoshopper. Also, her real hands have been replaced by Replicant hands. » 5/12/14 10:40am 5/12/14 10:40am

25 Best Quotes From the Bachelorette's Great American Novel

The original Bachelorette Trista Sutter's new book Happily Ever After: The Life-Changing Power of a Grateful Heart is an important look at "the benefits of gratitude," Tom Bergeron, the host of Dancing with the Stars tells me. It's full of "tips, stories, and research" on how to teach our children "to live their lives… » 11/26/13 2:10pm 11/26/13 2:10pm

I Read the Bachelorette Winner's Book of 'Poetry' So You Don't Have To

The Bachelorette is a television show in which they lock a rag-tag band of mostly white hotties in a house and force them to compete over the heart of a woman. To do so, the captive hotties utilize muscles, tongue-kissing, and generic combinations of the phrases "looking for a real relationship," "family really… » 8/30/13 12:30pm 8/30/13 12:30pm

This Week in Tabloids: Jessica Simpson Binges on Cupcakes, Ribs

Welcome back to Midweek Madness. This week Dodai is on vacation, so I had to make the perilous journey there (t0 the newsstand, where I procured Star, Life & Style, OK!, inTouch, and US Weekly) and back again (to that all-to-familiar realm of pop culture where we scrutinize what Jessica Simpson is eating) all on my… » 8/21/13 3:30pm 8/21/13 3:30pm

The Bachelorette by the Numbers, Season Finale

Ugh. Well. Here we are. I guess we accomplished something, right? Like, if you ran an entire marathon on a treadmill, you’d still get some sort of medal. Or a plaque that says, “Congratulations! Unclear why you did that but you’re one of few people who could waste that much time doing it!” That’d be kind of nice to… » 8/06/13 7:10pm 8/06/13 7:10pm

The Horror of Settling: The Bachelorette's Emotional Pornography

Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise host Chris Harrison loves superlatives. Every season is "the most dramatic" or "best" the show has ever had and, let's be honest, who cares enough to question him whether it's true or not? But I'd wager that the superlatives were actually justified last night during the Bachelorette's… » 8/06/13 11:35am 8/06/13 11:35am