Oh dear, Martha.

In a beautiful gesture of reverse colonization (I mean, kinda) this year marks the very first time British retailers are participating in the American tradition of Black Friday. And it looks like the Brits are naturals at it—they've even taken to the standard trampling over each other and "mini-riots" Black Friday is

It's Black Friday, which means at this very moment hundreds of thousands of shoppers are cramming themselves into malls across this great nation for the annual Walmart Hunger Games, where one person walks away with an HDTV and everyone loses.

How does one eat a Thanksgiving meal? On its face this might seem like a ridiculous question, and also everywhere else too. I mean, who doesn't know how to eat? (Excepting the British, of course.) Thanksgiving is marked, more than anything else, by its abundance of tasty foodstuffs; practically speaking, it is a…

The lesson is: Never try. Or try. You're going to end up in the same place regardless.

It's the kickoff of the holiday season, and as a woman, there's only one thing that means: marshaling undue amounts of energy to please other people. One great tactic as we continue down this endless winding road is, of course, that of beautification. How can we all be more beautiful on noted beauty holiday,…

Seattle Mayor Ed Murray decided to pardon two packages of Tofurky for Thanksgiving because SEATTLE. Turkeys everywhere raised their beaks and wings in protest, shouting 'Who's gonna pardon us?!'

Cooking for One is a new webseries in which chef and comedian Julianna Jones teaches you the ins and outs of cooking when you know you'll be dining solo. For the inaugural episode, she's tackling Thanksgiving...and she's not exactly happy about it.

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver tackled the weird Thanksgiving tradition of presidents pardoning turkeys (the things we actually eat during Thanksgiving).

Your Girls, the girl band that brought us "(Do It) On My Twin Bed" are back with a new banger about how awesome it is to go home for Thanksgiving and do jack shit but bask in the wealth of your parents love and Costco membership. On that Executive Gold Star shit, people.

Many may dread going home for the holidays, but how many of us are actively seeking an opportunity to torment our families by bringing home precisely the sort of guy who would push all their buttons? For the right woman in Nashville, consider your prayers answered.

Fucking Black Friday, man. It's like a gremlin that we just kept feeding after midnight for fifty years straight and now here we are, being herded like cattle away from our family dinners and toward deals, deals, deals. Unsurprisingly, Lewis Black has some thoughts, which he shared with The Daily Show.

TV Land won't be airing any more episodes of The Cosby Show following a recent resurgence in discussing the numerous rape allegations against Bill Cosby. Netflix and NBC have already dropped or stalled their business with him, so we all knew this was coming. It was only a matter of time.

Millennials! We already know they don't know how to love and are awful at sewing and button repair. But the dark powers of the younger generation are just beginning to be fully understood. Turns out they're also wreaking havoc on a host of other things across the globe, things like Thanksgiving, a once-popular but now…

Black Friday fucking sucks. It's bad enough that it attempts to commercialize a holiday meant to make people be thankful for what you already have, but now it's also begun to spill over into Thanksgiving Day itself, with many big box retailers now opening on Thursday and robbing their employees of time with their…