You know, for a guy who's at the top of his game, he seems to fuck some classy women. What is up with that? I mean, I'd think rich guys would attract women with more discretion, wouldn't they?
It's kind of disturbing how sordid all this is. I'm poor as dirt and I thought at least rich guys like Tiger would have better taste or better luck. All the women who are coming forward just seem like tacky, gauche, would-be reality show contestants. I'm surprised Michaela Salafi or whatever her name was isn't in his little black book.
The minute you and your wife took your "private" argument onto the street in front of your house and escalated it into a possible domestic violence case in which the state has a legal interest--that's when your "privacy" became public. Privacy starts with you.
When I first heard about the accident I recalled that there was some claim that he was having an affair and I thought "Oh- what a stressful week he must have had..poor dude!"
I totally did not believe he was having an affair. In my defense, I am kind of naive about stuff like that in a "Really? George Michael is gay? Reallly??" kind of way.
I think this letter would have been more effective:
"Dear Public,
I am notoriously private, but I am also now notorious for my privates. It's not working out so well, but please keep buying Gatorade, Buicks, and Nike apparel.
"I cheated on my wife. I'm not perfect, which explains my bad decision-making. Being imperfect is hard, but I work at it every day.
"I want to resolve this in private, with my family. Mainly, my wife. But I'm also telling you because maybe it will bring us closer, and you won't judge me as harshly when you pick up US Weekly. Please only focus on the Brad and Angie v. Jen stuff, OK? And my telling you this is for my benefit; we're not close enough for me to lend you any money.
"I'm very famous. But now that the attention is negative and not positive, I don't like it. My manager told me that a good scapegoat to use is the media, because the are the cause and solution to all celebrity problems. If they went away, we'd have our privacy; but if they went away, we'd no longer be famous. My manager says this is very meta. I listen to my manager because he's a decent guy. Hi, Bob. Anyway, the media. They cause all sorts of bad stuff, like power outages and Ann Coulter. They can even cause a very famous man to cheat on his wife when he knows that it will come back to haunt him. I guess the media is imperfect, too, just like me, and it causes them to make the same poor decisions I do. Huh. That's a heavy thought, and I'll have to chew on it over a round of golf.
"Personal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn't have to mean public confessions. But I'm doing it anyway.
"In conclusion, while I'm sorry I was caught, this is none of your business but I want to apologize to you anyway. I will strive to be a better husband and father. I would also promise to be a better golfer, to you, my supporters, but that's impossible, and now you're just being demanding."
I got my Tiger Translator at Target. It really helps with these vague celebrity statements.
He should have called a press conference and kept them waiting for half an hour. Then he should of walked out to the podium, cleared his throat and said "Tiger Tiger Woods, y'all" and walked off. His goodwill would have been instantly rekindled.
@thesciencegirl: ...an anchor on the "news" last night said something along the lines of "he is a famous athlete surrounded by adoring fans, this sort of thing usually happens but is kept secret." I don't know, I'm not saying it well, something like "we all know famous men cheat, he just got caught!"
Like it's not a big deal or something. It's weird. So he's saying what... men just can't control themselves? If that's true, that is god damn depressing.
@Eleanor Ramilly: Why is it so depressing? I can't understand why we put so much importance on a persons sexual activities.
Married or unmarried gay, straight or whatever sex DOES NOT equal love nor ones ability to love.
Our species is designed to procreate we were hard wired to do it as often as possible to see to the survival of the species.
By expecting people to override that natural programing we are setting the bar for failure and dragging the entire human race into a dismal social and spiritual experience filled with guilt and deceit.
Think of the marriages that could have been saved. The children who could have been raised in two parent households. Or the millions of murders and suicides that could have been avoided if we as a society just realized that sex is not the end all be all of our short time on earth.
@Eleanor Ramilly: Guys are either saying his wife didn't put out or when you are offered easy women on a platter wherever you go why not cheat. There are groupie message boards that give you tips on where to meet particular guys and which ones are easy and cheaters. It's common knowledge that athletes are cheaters. It's jocular culture. Women are just another trophy. That's why so many of them marry a Maxim skank of the month.
@WyldeChef: so basically, as humans we haven't evolved past being animals that only rut to procreate and kill to eat? The fact that murders happen every day and many people are capable of having long-term, monogamous relationships would indicate otherwise.
@WyldeChef: Meh, while we have working brains that we use to make decisions, I can't put too much stock in your argument. It's been used far too often to condone douchebaggy behavior by men. And sex doesn't usually lead to procreation - Tiger wasn't running around mindlessly trying to make as many babies as he could because his gonads were singing to him. He made a conscious choice to sleep with someone who wasn't his wife.
We have all sorts of expectations when we get married. Adhering to the sexual parameters you agree upon is just one of them. Why would we single it out for the one that's too hard to live up to? Where's the biological argument against expecting your spouse to only spend money in the way you've agreed upon as a couple? What's the value in saving marriages once the people in them no longer want to be in them?
@Eleanor Ramilly: OR, beyond "controlling themselves," why not just 1) leave before you cheat or 2) as someone suggested up thread, be really, really honest from the start? I had someone break up with me once because he admitted, honestly, that he wanted to hook up with someone and didn't want to lie about it. As unhappy as I was at the time, it was far, far less than had I been cheated on and we were able to transition to a healthy friendship.
So the question isn't really how hard is it not to cheat--it's "how hard is it not to hurt people you profess to care about by deceiving them?"
@quietlygoingmad: Oh yes we have evolved past being animals. We now kill for sport, we simulate killing for fun, we kill to punish our transgressors, And we spend hours listening to other people tell us how to live our lives. As far as people being capable of having long term monogamous relationships how does any factual evidence support this? divorce rates are over 50% and polling of the married couples show a high rate of infidelity.
Evolution is not an accomplishment its a naturally occurring phenomenon.
@WyldeChef: Haha- Yeeah, ok. If people deciiiide to have open marriages then by all means- have at it.
Both parties have to agree to this. He's obviously been lying about, that is shitty as all hell. So yes- I find it depressing- the idea that a man could care more about an orgasm than breaking the heart of a woman he "loves" and splitting up his family.
@alixana: I believe your standing on a hill of loosely packed morality. Imposed by those that 2-3k years ago wanted to control the public consciousness for their own aims.
The nature of our natural programing to procreate is based on physical pleasure. Physical pleasure is the one element that will in all likelihood lead to addiction.
Name one other expectation of marriage that involves the abstention physical pleasure.
If the value of a marriage and the love one feels for another is based and can be put asunder purely on the basis of monogamous. sex then what is the value of love and marriage in general?
Also- another reason cheating on your significant other is fucking awful (especially with multiple partners) is that you could infect your spouse with an STD. Even if you use protection, if you cheat on your boyfriend/girlfriend, wife/husband, whatever and don't tell them, you are awful.
@WyldeChef: the last absolute data shows that the divorce rate is around 38% on a per capita basis. There is no known long-term study that breaks this down for married couples only (according to CDC and NCHS). But, even if it were around 50%, then that means 50% of married couples aren't getting a divorce. And if we're asking for facts, where is the data showing the infidelity rates? A NY Time article citing studies by various universities show infidelity rates anywhere between 1% and 28% depending on how the study was conducted and/or tabulated. That's a pretty big spread for "scientific research".
And I think evolution is both naturally occurring and an individual accomplishment, depending on how you define evolution. With maturation comes a level of evolution that was unknown to us years, even months, prior...and the level of maturation is dependent on the individual. It stems from personal experiences, education, longevity of life, and many other elements.
I have no issues with consenting non-monogamous relationships between adults...but, I certainly don't think that they would make marriage or family, overall, a more stable entity.
@sangmo: Maybe the women he's cheated with play golf? I play golf, and I've found him very very attractive for a long time. Talent is attractive, especially when it's talent in something you dabble in.
I wish we were somewhere we could carry this discussion further. I appreciate all of your views no matter how much I may disagree with the principles behind them.
@WyldeChef: Point out where I said anything about monogamy. I specifically said, "Adhering to the sexual parameters you agree upon is just one of them." Those sexual parameters could include having multiple partners. Couples who do agree to multiple partners often have parameters around who/what that involves, which need to be adhered to just as much as a couple who agrees upon monogamy. And I've heard enough to know that deviating from THAT is just as painful as deviating from monogamy.
All of which requires conscious thought and using our brains and making cost/benefit analyses. Humans are capable of it, they really are.
@thesciencegirl: I wish I had retained where I got this tidbit of information, but I didn't - anyways, I recall a study that was reported within the last couple of years where a large sampling of men and women were surveyed, and roughly 50% of both men and women admitted to cheating on their partners. The difference in statistics came at the level of disclosure - basically the results seemed to indicate that women were less likely to admit to their partner that they cheated on them, while men were more likely to either get caught or confess.
It's still a depressing thought for someone looking for a monogamous relationship, but I did find this study really interesting, because if we accept its results as accurate, it's telling us that men and women are equally prone to cheating.
[had to edit for silly typo - too much wine makes for sloppy typing!]
@Eleanor Ramilly: Men who aspire to be famous and/or incredibly rich and powerful--celebrities, politicians, moguls--are narcissists. They have a different set of ethics than most of the rest of us.
@LilyBriscoe: That's really interesting, and I can't say that I'm surprised. My original comment was more out of exasperation than anything else. I'm kind of amazed at where this conversation has gone in terms of evolutionary psychology, byt yeah... it's scary for any of us who want committed monogamy to look at the stats.
While I could not care less about Tiger Wood's and his dalliances, I delight in reading these press releases. I'm sure every single little word was mulled over and chosen wisely.. and I doubt he wrote any of it.
I wish I had a PR rep. "I regret that I did not arrive at the appropriate time to work today. I am only human and thus have faults, I am dealing with this matter. The fact that you would even inquire into my personal life, why I was late, etc.. is shameful."
@Eleanor Ramilly: I do not regret being caught on Jezebel today. I do have great concerns though as to why you felt the need to invade my privacy and look at my computer screen. Just because I left the site up when I went to the bathroom is a reflection on you and your suspicious nature sir, not on me. such as.
Somewhere, Tiger is furiously dialing Andrew Young's phone number, asking him to pretend he fathered the love child the Enquirer is bound to dig up.
When Andrew refuses, muttering something about "learning his lesson", Tiger realizes that he has pushed away the only person who would have taken the hit for him: Fluff.
it's not that he screwed up that matters — it's that everyone found out about it.
...which always makes people say that you're not sorry for what you did, you're just sorry you got caught doing it, which isn't really an apology at all.
12/03/09
It's kind of disturbing how sordid all this is. I'm poor as dirt and I thought at least rich guys like Tiger would have better taste or better luck. All the women who are coming forward just seem like tacky, gauche, would-be reality show contestants. I'm surprised Michaela Salafi or whatever her name was isn't in his little black book.
12/03/09
The minute you and your wife took your "private" argument onto the street in front of your house and escalated it into a possible domestic violence case in which the state has a legal interest--that's when your "privacy" became public. Privacy starts with you.
Sincerely,
Escalade
12/03/09
12/02/09
I totally did not believe he was having an affair. In my defense, I am kind of naive about stuff like that in a "Really? George Michael is gay? Reallly??" kind of way.
12/02/09
12/02/09
12/03/09
12/03/09
12/02/09
"Dear Public,
I am notoriously private, but I am also now notorious for my privates. It's not working out so well, but please keep buying Gatorade, Buicks, and Nike apparel.
Peace,
Tiger"
12/02/09
12/02/09
12/02/09
12/02/09
1. Do not leave voice messages on your girlfriend's phone.
2. Do not text/sext your girlfriend.
3. Do not take any photos with your girlfriend.
4. Do go out in public with your girlfriend. Especially if you are famous.
Follow these 4 easy rules and you should be in good shape.
12/02/09
12/02/09
12/02/09
12/02/09
"I cheated on my wife. I'm not perfect, which explains my bad decision-making. Being imperfect is hard, but I work at it every day.
"I want to resolve this in private, with my family. Mainly, my wife. But I'm also telling you because maybe it will bring us closer, and you won't judge me as harshly when you pick up US Weekly. Please only focus on the Brad and Angie v. Jen stuff, OK? And my telling you this is for my benefit; we're not close enough for me to lend you any money.
"I'm very famous. But now that the attention is negative and not positive, I don't like it. My manager told me that a good scapegoat to use is the media, because the are the cause and solution to all celebrity problems. If they went away, we'd have our privacy; but if they went away, we'd no longer be famous. My manager says this is very meta. I listen to my manager because he's a decent guy. Hi, Bob. Anyway, the media. They cause all sorts of bad stuff, like power outages and Ann Coulter. They can even cause a very famous man to cheat on his wife when he knows that it will come back to haunt him. I guess the media is imperfect, too, just like me, and it causes them to make the same poor decisions I do. Huh. That's a heavy thought, and I'll have to chew on it over a round of golf.
"Personal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn't have to mean public confessions. But I'm doing it anyway.
"In conclusion, while I'm sorry I was caught, this is none of your business but I want to apologize to you anyway. I will strive to be a better husband and father. I would also promise to be a better golfer, to you, my supporters, but that's impossible, and now you're just being demanding."
I got my Tiger Translator at Target. It really helps with these vague celebrity statements.
12/02/09
12/02/09
Plus, his kids are adorable. I hope they work it out, if they want to save the relationship.
12/02/09
12/02/09
1. I agree with him about privacy. Frankly, I'm sick of this "story;" it's not news, and it doesn't interest me. It's his personal life.
2. I'm beginning to suspect that all men cheat.
12/02/09
12/02/09
Like it's not a big deal or something. It's weird. So he's saying what... men just can't control themselves? If that's true, that is god damn depressing.
12/02/09
And its obvious it hasn't anything to do with their charisma/physical desirabilty quotient. Because as far as I can see, Tiger has zero sex appeal.
12/02/09
Married or unmarried gay, straight or whatever sex DOES NOT equal love nor ones ability to love.
Our species is designed to procreate we were hard wired to do it as often as possible to see to the survival of the species.
By expecting people to override that natural programing we are setting the bar for failure and dragging the entire human race into a dismal social and spiritual experience filled with guilt and deceit.
Think of the marriages that could have been saved. The children who could have been raised in two parent households. Or the millions of murders and suicides that could have been avoided if we as a society just realized that sex is not the end all be all of our short time on earth.
12/02/09
12/02/09
12/02/09
We have all sorts of expectations when we get married. Adhering to the sexual parameters you agree upon is just one of them. Why would we single it out for the one that's too hard to live up to? Where's the biological argument against expecting your spouse to only spend money in the way you've agreed upon as a couple? What's the value in saving marriages once the people in them no longer want to be in them?
12/02/09
So the question isn't really how hard is it not to cheat--it's "how hard is it not to hurt people you profess to care about by deceiving them?"
12/02/09
Evolution is not an accomplishment its a naturally occurring phenomenon.
12/02/09
Both parties have to agree to this. He's obviously been lying about, that is shitty as all hell. So yes- I find it depressing- the idea that a man could care more about an orgasm than breaking the heart of a woman he "loves" and splitting up his family.
12/02/09
The nature of our natural programing to procreate is based on physical pleasure. Physical pleasure is the one element that will in all likelihood lead to addiction.
Name one other expectation of marriage that involves the abstention physical pleasure.
If the value of a marriage and the love one feels for another is based and can be put asunder purely on the basis of monogamous. sex then what is the value of love and marriage in general?
12/02/09
Also- another reason cheating on your significant other is fucking awful (especially with multiple partners) is that you could infect your spouse with an STD. Even if you use protection, if you cheat on your boyfriend/girlfriend, wife/husband, whatever and don't tell them, you are awful.
12/02/09
And I think evolution is both naturally occurring and an individual accomplishment, depending on how you define evolution. With maturation comes a level of evolution that was unknown to us years, even months, prior...and the level of maturation is dependent on the individual. It stems from personal experiences, education, longevity of life, and many other elements.
I have no issues with consenting non-monogamous relationships between adults...but, I certainly don't think that they would make marriage or family, overall, a more stable entity.
12/02/09
12/02/09
I wish we were somewhere we could carry this discussion further. I appreciate all of your views no matter how much I may disagree with the principles behind them.
12/02/09
All of which requires conscious thought and using our brains and making cost/benefit analyses. Humans are capable of it, they really are.
12/02/09
12/02/09
It's still a depressing thought for someone looking for a monogamous relationship, but I did find this study really interesting, because if we accept its results as accurate, it's telling us that men and women are equally prone to cheating.
[had to edit for silly typo - too much wine makes for sloppy typing!]
12/03/09
12/03/09
12/03/09
12/02/09
I wish I had a PR rep. "I regret that I did not arrive at the appropriate time to work today. I am only human and thus have faults, I am dealing with this matter. The fact that you would even inquire into my personal life, why I was late, etc.. is shameful."
12/02/09
12/02/09
When Andrew refuses, muttering something about "learning his lesson", Tiger realizes that he has pushed away the only person who would have taken the hit for him: Fluff.
12/02/09
12/02/09
12/02/09
12/02/09
12/02/09
12/02/09
...which always makes people say that you're not sorry for what you did, you're just sorry you got caught doing it, which isn't really an apology at all.