Jezebel 
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New York, 7:18 AM
Fri Dec 4
68 posts in the last 24 hours
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12/03/09
It's kind of disturbing how sordid all this is. I'm poor as dirt and I thought at least rich guys like Tiger would have better taste or better luck. All the women who are coming forward just seem like tacky, gauche, would-be reality show contestants. I'm surprised Michaela Salafi or whatever her name was isn't in his little black book.
12/03/09
The minute you and your wife took your "private" argument onto the street in front of your house and escalated it into a possible domestic violence case in which the state has a legal interest--that's when your "privacy" became public. Privacy starts with you.
Sincerely,
Escalade
12/03/09
12/02/09
I totally did not believe he was having an affair. In my defense, I am kind of naive about stuff like that in a "Really? George Michael is gay? Reallly??" kind of way.
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12/02/09
"Dear Public,
I am notoriously private, but I am also now notorious for my privates. It's not working out so well, but please keep buying Gatorade, Buicks, and Nike apparel.
Peace,
Tiger"
12/02/09
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12/02/09
1. Do not leave voice messages on your girlfriend's phone.
2. Do not text/sext your girlfriend.
3. Do not take any photos with your girlfriend.
4. Do go out in public with your girlfriend. Especially if you are famous.
Follow these 4 easy rules and you should be in good shape.
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12/02/09
"I cheated on my wife. I'm not perfect, which explains my bad decision-making. Being imperfect is hard, but I work at it every day.
"I want to resolve this in private, with my family. Mainly, my wife. But I'm also telling you because maybe it will bring us closer, and you won't judge me as harshly when you pick up US Weekly. Please only focus on the Brad and Angie v. Jen stuff, OK? And my telling you this is for my benefit; we're not close enough for me to lend you any money.
"I'm very famous. But now that the attention is negative and not positive, I don't like it. My manager told me that a good scapegoat to use is the media, because the are the cause and solution to all celebrity problems. If they went away, we'd have our privacy; but if they went away, we'd no longer be famous. My manager says this is very meta. I listen to my manager because he's a decent guy. Hi, Bob. Anyway, the media. They cause all sorts of bad stuff, like power outages and Ann Coulter. They can even cause a very famous man to cheat on his wife when he knows that it will come back to haunt him. I guess the media is imperfect, too, just like me, and it causes them to make the same poor decisions I do. Huh. That's a heavy thought, and I'll have to chew on it over a round of golf.
"Personal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn't have to mean public confessions. But I'm doing it anyway.
"In conclusion, while I'm sorry I was caught, this is none of your business but I want to apologize to you anyway. I will strive to be a better husband and father. I would also promise to be a better golfer, to you, my supporters, but that's impossible, and now you're just being demanding."
I got my Tiger Translator at Target. It really helps with these vague celebrity statements.
12/02/09
12/02/09
Plus, his kids are adorable. I hope they work it out, if they want to save the relationship.
12/02/09
12/02/09
1. I agree with him about privacy. Frankly, I'm sick of this "story;" it's not news, and it doesn't interest me. It's his personal life.
2. I'm beginning to suspect that all men cheat.
12/02/09
12/02/09
Like it's not a big deal or something. It's weird. So he's saying what... men just can't control themselves? If that's true, that is god damn depressing.
12/02/09
And its obvious it hasn't anything to do with their charisma/physical desirabilty quotient. Because as far as I can see, Tiger has zero sex appeal.
12/02/09
Married or unmarried gay, straight or whatever sex DOES NOT equal love nor ones ability to love.
Our species is designed to procreate we were hard wired to do it as often as possible to see to the survival of the species.
By expecting people to override that natural programing we are setting the bar for failure and dragging the entire human race into a dismal social and spiritual experience filled with guilt and deceit.
Think of the marriages that could have been saved. The children who could have been raised in two parent households. Or the millions of murders and suicides that could have been avoided if we as a society just realized that sex is not the end all be all of our short time on earth.
12/02/09
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12/02/09
We have all sorts of expectations when we get married. Adhering to the sexual parameters you agree upon is just one of them. Why would we single it out for the one that's too hard to live up to? Where's the biological argument against expecting your spouse to only spend money in the way you've agreed upon as a couple? What's the value in saving marriages once the people in them no longer want to be in them?
12/02/09
So the question isn't really how hard is it not to cheat--it's "how hard is it not to hurt people you profess to care about by deceiving them?"
12/02/09
Evolution is not an accomplishment its a naturally occurring phenomenon.
12/02/09
Both parties have to agree to this. He's obviously been lying about, that is shitty as all hell. So yes- I find it depressing- the idea that a man could care more about an orgasm than breaking the heart of a woman he "loves" and splitting up his family.
12/02/09
The nature of our natural programing to procreate is based on physical pleasure. Physical pleasure is the one element that will in all likelihood lead to addiction.
Name one other expectation of marriage that involves the abstention physical pleasure.
If the value of a marriage and the love one feels for another is based and can be put asunder purely on the basis of monogamous. sex then what is the value of love and marriage in general?
12/02/09
Also- another reason cheating on your significant other is fucking awful (especially with multiple partners) is that you could infect your spouse with an STD. Even if you use protection, if you cheat on your boyfriend/girlfriend, wife/husband, whatever and don't tell them, you are awful.
12/02/09
And I think evolution is both naturally occurring and an individual accomplishment, depending on how you define evolution. With maturation comes a level of evolution that was unknown to us years, even months, prior...and the level of maturation is dependent on the individual. It stems from personal experiences, education, longevity of life, and many other elements.
I have no issues with consenting non-monogamous relationships between adults...but, I certainly don't think that they would make marriage or family, overall, a more stable entity.
12/02/09
12/02/09
I wish we were somewhere we could carry this discussion further. I appreciate all of your views no matter how much I may disagree with the principles behind them.
12/02/09
All of which requires conscious thought and using our brains and making cost/benefit analyses. Humans are capable of it, they really are.
12/02/09
12/02/09
It's still a depressing thought for someone looking for a monogamous relationship, but I did find this study really interesting, because if we accept its results as accurate, it's telling us that men and women are equally prone to cheating.
[had to edit for silly typo - too much wine makes for sloppy typing!]
12/03/09
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12/02/09
I wish I had a PR rep. "I regret that I did not arrive at the appropriate time to work today. I am only human and thus have faults, I am dealing with this matter. The fact that you would even inquire into my personal life, why I was late, etc.. is shameful."
12/02/09
12/02/09
When Andrew refuses, muttering something about "learning his lesson", Tiger realizes that he has pushed away the only person who would have taken the hit for him: Fluff.
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12/02/09
...which always makes people say that you're not sorry for what you did, you're just sorry you got caught doing it, which isn't really an apology at all.