• Luckily whatever strange form of Crazy infects the women around Drew Peterson isn't catching. His former fiancée-who-wasn't-really-engaged-to-him's dad is now denying that the engagement was a hoax. And you wondered how Jerry Springer could still find people to be on his show. • German pop singer Kim Petras has become the world's youngest post-operative transsexual at 16 and can't wait to wear bikinis and really tight pants. • Because of bikinis, tight pants and the general objectification of women that Christians feel is in opposition to their values [cue snickering] a bunch of church websites are leaving Go Daddy to those that appreciate porny Superbowl commercials. • More sex equals more cancer, you libidinous trollop. • Divorce and depression makes people think you look older. • Please then go cheer up (if you're into dudes, that is) with this video of naked British athletes playing with their balls for science, recommended by Andrew Sullivan. • If you or your partner is ambidextrous, you might be able to switch-hit, but you might also have more difficulty conceiving. • Rich people just don't give a fuck about you. • Sometimes women prefer not to let a man know how interested she is, and not just because she's read The [Fucking] Rules, unless it's been translated into German or because Germans also think that a man should do the wooing. Nope, it's probably totes evolution. • But at least cats don't suck the breath from infants.

Tupac: The rumor is that the ill-fated rapper lost one of his dudes during a 1994 shooting when he took two bullets to the groin. After that, he was called "One-Pac" by many giggly fans, and even with only one ball, Madonna still wanted to have his baby.


Lance Armstrong: In the words of The Cancer Blog, "Now it's having only one testicle that separates the winners from the losers." Lance Armstrong's unparalleled athletic prowess (not to mention his way with certain blonde celebrities) shows that monorchic men can be champions.


Tom Green: Like Lance Armstrong, Tom Green survived about of testicular cancer. And also like Armstrong, Tom Green was not afraid to be servicey about it. After his diagnosis in 2000, Green hosted an MTV show called The Tom Green Cancer Special, in which "a camera crew followed Green into the operating room in March and looked on as surgeons cut into Green's insides, removed a testicle and some lymph nodes, and put his intestines on the table during surgery." How…graphic of him!


Arnold Schwarzenegger: The California Gov allegedly only has one berry next to his twig, according to the internet. Is the alleged missing testicle from his alleged steroid use during Ahnold's body building days? Maybe one day Maria Shriver will tell us the true testicle story on Oprah.


Nazi Leader Hitler Really Did Have Only One Ball [Telegraph]