My favorite is that it didn't mean anything. Cheating always means something- there's something seriously wrong in the relationship and/or you're just selfish and immoral.

I hate the argument that it is selfish to tell them you cheated. Its selfish not to give the other person the chance to decide whether or not they want to stay.

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I think the best bet is to know your partner, be sensitive to their feelings and wishes (YES, if you do this you might be less likely to cheat, but maybe not, I dunno, I'm not a doctor), and choose the best path based on your relationship. While I think honesty is always the right choice, even if it's painful or will lead to a serious confrontation, because we're all better off in the long run, not everyone will feel the same.

But always, ALWAYS, use a condom if you're gonna cheat/sleep around. You owe your partners that much.

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Likewise, if you cheat on your partner it means you had sex with someone else whether your partner knows or not, so I just say, you know, have fun living with yourself and that secret. I think it's more selfish not to tell.

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I also hate bad boys.

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But for the love of Karl, if you're confessing, don't tell your partner that it was meaningless, that's just insulting. I'd like to think that my partner at least thought about what they were doing, not that they were just out fucking around and then suddenly realized I might care.

And why yes, I'm still bitter about this, yes I am. Stupid jagoff made me out for a fool, but at least I didn't end up with any std's.

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I really do think that if I had someone cheat on me, I would rather be completely oblivious to it. If it were my current bf, he would make sure he was tested, and the other woman was tested.

Cheating is one of the the dirtiest things in the world.

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In a committed relationship:

- I don't cheat, but I want to know if you've had unprotected sex. I would tell my partner this for sure. I would expect the same.

- If you kiss another guy - I trust your judgment as to whether it will hurt or help to tell me.

- If you give some other guy a blowjob, yeah, I'd probably want to know, but I'd much rather know that "I'm your boy."

- I'm always going to be more understanding if I hear it from my partner than from someone else, or finding out on my own.

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Then I realized I absolutely could not live with myself. If I was ready to see other people, I needed to move on free and clear and give him the same courtesy. So, call me a goody-two-shoes, but before I even came close to touching another human being, I broke up with him.

It was the best decision I could possibly have made for both of us.

I started dating again about a month later and had a fantastic time. I didn't want to TELL him, of course, because it wasn't really his concern and I had no reason to hurt him even MORE by rubbing it in his face "LA LA DE DA I'M SEEING SOMEONE NEW AND YOU'RE NOTTTT!" Why in the world would I tell him?

And then he found out, through some friend-of-a-friend grapevine thing, that I was dating someone new, and he was understandably really hurt and mad. We were still living together at that point--I'd put in an application for a new apartment, but it wasn't ready for me to move in yet. He thought the timing was suspect--he thought I'd broken up with him because I'd been cheating on him.

I could see why he'd feel that way, but it really wasn't his business and my conscience was completely clear. I was blameless--I'd broken up with him free and clear, fair and square, so we were both free to see other people. He couldn't blame me for cheating, and after he heard my side of things, he believed me. We were very polite and civil after that point.

Sometimes, the truth has a pesky way of coming out. It's best to be prepared for it. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I had cheated on him. I can't imagine how bad the screaming and fighting and crying would have been. It would have really, really hurt both of us. Getting broken up with, or breaking up with someone, is never a piece of cake, but I averted disaster by being honest BEFORE seeing other people.

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