Okay, so between Terri Seymour...


...and Nikka Costa, it seems clear that there was some kind of "batik preferred" addendum to the invitation.


Kerri Kenney has the frozen look of someone who just realized she's in All About Steve.


Rachel Spector (whom Getty ID's rather pointedly as "wife of former music producer Phil Spector") has encountered the dreaded Red Carpet Cat, who stalks 3rd-rate premieres shredding women's clothing.


Sara Sanderson's dress: evokes the song "Satin Doll," but this isn't necessarily a good thing. She said obscurely.


A loudly-patterned Edwardian jacket...a ruched corset...a miniscule Palm Beach-style purse...it must be full-time red-carpeter Kat Kramer!


The benefit of a jumpsuit like Katy Mixon's: you can make a quicker getaway before having to see the cast post-movie. Perhaps the primary benefit.


It's like Sandra Bullock went to her stylist and said, "I need an outfit that expresses the same judgment that led me to accept this role." And the stylist totally got her vision.

[Images via Getty]

• Chris Brown has publicly addressed the Rihanna assault for the first time in a short YouTube video. He says he's working on a new album, Grafitti, and he'll release a new single this summer. He says: "Everybody that's haters, they've just been haters..."

• "All my real fans, I love y'all. I ain't a monster." [TMZ]
• Kanye West has released the music video for his song "Paranoid," which stars Rihanna. [Perez Hilton]
• Slumdog Millionaire director Danny Boyle and producer Christian Colson flew to Mumbai after seeing pictures of Azharuddin Ismail and Rubina Ali picking through the debris of their demolished homes. Boyle said a home had been bought for Ismail, and that they would soon buy one for Ali. Boyle said, "We've been trying for a long time to move them into legal accommodation." Ali's father, Rafiq Quereshi, countered, "It has been five to six months. Everything is available in Mumbai if you have the money. If you really want to get us a house, you can get us a house in two days." [Reuters, E!]
• Kate Gosselin's estranged brother Kevin Kreider, who has given interviews to numerous media outlets in the past few weeks, has reportedly been offering to talk about what it's like behind the scenes at Jon and Kate Plus 8 for $30,000. It's not clear which news outlets paid him, but he insists he and his wife Jodi Kreider are, "speaking out now because we want to be the voice of our nieces and nephews... We're seeing it turn tide, that they're being viewed as a commodity." [E!]
• Susan Boyle supposedly watched fellow Britain's Got Talent finalist Shaheen Jafargholi perform on a TV at a London hotel bar, and when one of the judges complimented the 12-year-old, Boyle yelled "fuck off" and waved two fingers (a dirty gesture in the UK) at the screen. A rep for the show said, "As far as we are aware Susan was not at the bar during Shaheen's performance. She started watching the show there but left early and watched some of the acts in her room as she was being asked for interviews in the bar by journalists." [Newser]
• A representative for Susan Boyle said, "Susan was in the bar with friends but was getting hassled by a journalist. The four of them left before Shaheen's live performance to watch it in the room instead." [The Daily Mail]
• American Idol scandal: AT&T provided free phones so fans could text message their votes at two Arkansas parties supporting winner Kris Allen in Arkansas. They even showed people how to "power text," which lets you send 10 votes at a time and is forbidden in the show's rules. AT&T says they were invited to parties organized by locals, but no free texting services were offered to Adam Lambert supporters. [Perez Hilton]
• Terri Seymour has requested a restraining order from Janice Thibodeaux, the woman who attacked her outside the American Idol finale last week. She says, Thibodeaux, "attacked [her] from behind, putting her into a headlock, wrenching her neck and choking her with the full force of her 200 pound frame," and could have killed her if the cops hadn't intervened. [TMZ]
• Suri Cruise will only eat with chop sticks. "Suri doesn't like to eat with anything else," says a source. During a recent visit to Le Pain Quotidien, "She wouldn't touch her sandwich and pastries without them!" [Star]
• Justin Gaston says he doesn't live with girlfriend Miley Cyrus, but in an apartment in North Hollywood with two roommates. But he may wish he lived with the Cyrus clan. When asked to describe his dream life Gaston says, "[I'd be] one of those little lapdogs that gets petted all day... You know, they wake up, get fed, get attention. I like attention. I'd like to be one of those little dogs. Is that weird?" [People]
• Michael Lohan was arrested last month because his former fiancee Erin Muller says he threatened to killer her when she tried to end their relationship in March. Lohan appeared at court on Long Island yesterday, but fled when he saw members of the media. He's due in court today because he has been charged with falling behind in child support payments. [The Daily Express]
• Mel Gibson's pregnant girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, already has an 11-year-old son from her relationship with Timothy Dalton. "It [seems] very important to Oksana that Mel and her son bond," says a source. "Mel is fun to be around and great with kids." [People]
• A fan made it past security backstage at Beyonce's concert in London and tried to speak to Beyonce. A source says, "He cried out her name with his arms outstretched before security bundled him back out again. He said he wanted to see Jay-Z to give him a demo tape." [The London Paper]
• Melissa Joan Hart is on the new cover of People in a bikini because she lost 42 pounds after having a baby. Plus, dieting to be on the cover of the mag is pretty much the only career move former teen stars have left. She says, "Everyone still thinks I'm huge, but I'm not anymore!" [People]
• Jennie Garth has revealed that she has a leaky valve in her heart, which was discovered seven years ago. "A lot of people have it," she explains. "They don't know they have it ... [It] leaks blood." She says that sometimes she can feel it too. "It sort of flutters open and shut sort of a thing ... It's weird because sometimes when I'm resting I can feel a little weird fluttering." It may get more complicated in the future, but for now it is not dangerous. [People]
• Andy Garcia's brother-in-law has been sentenced to 15 years in prison. Ramon Puentes Jr. was convicted in the Fuel Farm Case, a large scheme to siphon jet fuel from the Miami Airport's fuel depot. Garcia and Puentes' wives are sisters. [UPI]
• Justin Long says Alison Lohman, his Drag Me To Hell co-star got "banged up really bad," while filming the movie. He said: "I have never seen an actress work so hard and she would always have a different bruise, it was like the bruise of the day, 'What's on the menu today?' and she would be like 'check this out, it looks like Uzbekistan and I don't know how I got it.'" [The Star]
• The State's lost comedy album has surfaced online. "We would love to do more," said David Wain, who was a member of the comedy group. "The State is an 11-headed beast though. Getting anything to happen requires divine miracles - just in terms of scheduling and logistics." [Rolling Stone]
• Lauren Conrad says she's looking forward to living "a little more unplanned," when she leaves The Hills. She says, "It's hard to look at somebody who used to be your best friend and say, 'We can't be friends. Too much has happened... I'm trying to move on, but they won't let me. And when someone keeps pushing you into the same position, well…you get upset." [ONTD]
• Amy Winehouse won't return to London unless she can find a St. Lucian chef to move to the UK and cook for her. A friend said Amy told her, "there's no way she'll come back unless she can find a chef she likes and who is prepared to move country. She really doesn't look after herself when she is back in London, and is always skipping meals." [This Is London]
• Mackenzie Phillips, who entered rehab for the 10th time in September 2008, will appear on the third season of Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew as a "sober coach." As you may recall, last season's sober coach was Gary Busey. [TMZ]
• Morrissey has called off yet another London concert. His rep said: "Morrissey is on continued doctor's orders not to sing, to ensure a complete recuperation." [The Mirror]
• Katie Price already had estranged husband Peter Andre's things put into storage, and today a locksmith's van was spotted outside their home. [The Sun]
• Bethenny Frankel of The Real Housewives of New York is blogging each week about The Real Housewives of New Jersey. She says Teresa, "is clearly living vicariously through her daughter." Jacqueline's daughter is spoiled and "her mother is a sweet doormat who doesn't seem to want to take a position on anything." As for Dina, she says she's, "willing to bet she's had some minor work done on that pretty face of hers." Is Bethenny not aware that she'll definitely have to meet these women, or that they could be at her front door in about an hour? [E!]
• "Cameron Diaz cuts a lonely figure as she takes a solitary swim in Hawaii." Poor Cam is so lonely since she broke up with Paul Sculfor. Jennifer Aniston is probably free to hang out with her, as she's just been sitting around thinking about how much she misses Brad Pitt for the past few years. [The Daily Mail]
• Phylicia Rashad plays matriarch Violet WestonWell in the play August: Osage County. When asked why she plays so many matriarchs, she said: "Consider what you're asking. How many women in the world are matriarchs? Many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many. It's not a role foreign to women, is it? So there. [Laughs.] So there." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Joy Behar says she likes Fred Armisen's Saturday Night Live impression of her. "I think he's right on. I think he's got me down. He gets the fidgeting. I'm a constant fidgeter. It's probably why I don't weigh 200 pounds, because I keep working it off by moving constantly and fidgeting and fixing my hair. And this phrase, 'So what? Who cares?' — I realize that I say that a lot and that it's basically a philosophy of life." [The Star Tribune]
• Marilyn Manson has a new album, The High End of Low. He says: "Track two is called "Pretty as a Swastika." It's something I said to a girl because of her complexion - with black hair, red lips and pale skin. I mean, it was a complex and poetic comment that soon led to intercourse, so I felt no reason for it to be seen as confusing, hateful and destructive. The record label [told me], Take it off the album. Rather than do so, I decided to produce it on the inside of the sleeve with a different name, so it'll be sold in Wal-Mart or wherever stores sell guns but are afraid to deal with lyrics. So I put "Pretty as a ($)" because all of their motivations are based on money." [Time]

• ZOMG Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie partied past one am in Cannes! He drank Bailey's! She drank vodka! He had his hand on her leg! They laughed and whispered in each other's ears! [People]
• Brad Pitt says:

"I am in love and I have the most beautiful family — what else can a guy want?" It's almost like In Touch was wrong! [Mirror]

• Someone in Cannes paid $25,000 for a kiss from Robert Pattinson. For that price, some of the sparkles had better rub off. Oh, the money went to AmFar. [Page Six]
• Guess who lost her BlackBerry in Cannes? Paris Hilton. The Daily Fail prints pictures of her drunkenly straddling Doug Whatshisname so you get the impression that she was too busy grinding to keep tabs on her phone. [Daily Mail]
• When getting takeout, Owen Wilson doesn't wait on line with the plebes, he walks straight into the kitchen. [Page Six]
• Jay-Z has left Def Jam records, the label which issued his biggest hits. He went from artist on Def Jam to president of Def Jam and back to artist again, and now, like Madonna, he has a deal with Live Nation. [Crain's]
• Sarah Jessica Parker says Matthew Broderick is reacting strongly to the intense media attention and threats their surrogate is receiving: "He's furious. He's angry." [People]
• Alec Baldwin has penned am essay praising documentary filmmaking. "If you want to see something off the crash-bang-boom thrill ride that Hollywood promises each year, don't rule out documentaries." [WSJ]
• Trudie Styler has written a missive titled "It Is Not Hypocritical To Fly If I'm Campaigning For The Environment." Subtitle: "There's no way I could raise millions for the rainforest if I only travelled by boat or train." [Guardian]
• Patrick Swayze: Releasing a memoir in the fall. [UPI]
• Boo. Rihanna and Aubrey "Drake" Graham are just friends. Boo. The man who was Jimmy on Degrassi told a radio station: "I have the most utmost respect for her. I think she's so talented. I'm being honest- - [She's] just a friend that's all." Although even if they were seen kissing, that doesn't mean it's serious, or that either of them would admit it. [People]
• 90210's AnnaLynne McCord and Twilight's Kellan Lutz: It's on. [Page Six]
• Susan Boyle would be "perfectly happy" with a reality show, says a source. [MSNBC Scoop]
• The woman who choked Terri Seymour after American Idol on Tuesday night was getting revenge for Paula Abdul. Janice Thibodeaux tells Radar Online, "I wasn't cool with Simon Cowell choking Paula Abdul on the show last week and with her crying-out 'help' as he did so. Nobody said anything about that so I wanted to confront him about it because that is not appropriate behavior, is it?" Um, no, but does that mean you should do it? Thibodeaux continues: "[Terri] was taking some photographs with her camera and I knew she was his girlfriend so I went up to her to tell her how I felt. We started arguing and then I put my hands around her neck and started choking her just like Simon had done with Paula. Then I walked away and I was tackled by the police but I don't regret what I did because of what Simon did to Paula, nobody seemed to care about that." Okay, now we're forced to point to our ear and make a swirly motion. You know what that means. [Rolling Stone via Radar Online]
• Scarlett Johansson and Pete Yorn have recorded a collection of duets, on an album called Break Up. [USA Today]
• Katie Holmes will perform in Sunday's 20th anniversary National Memorial Day Concert broadcast from the West Lawn of the U.S. Capitol. She'll play the sister of an Iraq war vet. Tom and Suri will be watching. [USA Today]
• Wow: Natalie Cole's kidney came from a deceased fan. Cole has been on a long list, and was always looking for donors, and, a spokesperson says, "Having heard of Ms. Cole's need for a kidney, the family asked that one of their loved one's kidneys be transplanted to Ms. Cole if they were a match." [CNN]
• Ugh, sad: While Natalie Cole was undergoing transplant surgery, her older sister died of cancer. [Page Six]
• Breaking news: "Kim Kardashian Is Getting Ready for Bikini Season." [People]
• Mike Judge's new show, The Goode Family, mocks environmentalists and vegetarians. [WSJ]
• Ben Stiller has two films coming out this weekend: he stars in Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian, but he exec-produced a small documentary, The Boys, about brother songwriters famous for their Disney tunes. [Page Six]
• Jessica Simpson didn't use her longtime hairdresser, Ken Paves, for her Vanity Fair cover, because photographer Mario Testino insisted on his own team. Guess he didn't want big "Texas" hair. [Page Six]
• The Black Eyed Peas are releasing The E.N.D — "Energy Never Dies," but don't call it an album. Will.i.am says: "The album? Whatever. I don't listen to albums. "People don't hear music like that now. When they stopped puttin' CD players in cars, that was when I knew it was over. The tradition of gettin' 15 songs and expectin' people to hear 'em how you made 'em? That's not it any more." The E.N.D. is more like a project that evolves through remixes and fan participation. Or something. [Guardian]
• When he was 16, Simon Cowell was a 'miserable little devil' who was kicked out of school. [The Sun]
• Denise Richards' romantic life? It's complicated. She is "Dating-ish. That means not a boyfriend. When I say dating-ish, I mean no boyfriend." [Yahoo via E!]
• Robert DeNiro is a grandpa! [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which newly attached TV actress got it on with a gawky star from the same network?" [NY Daily News]
• Q: How many pairs of suspenders do you have? A: "Never counted 'em. But my guess would be—there are suspenders in New York and Washington and, of course, at my home in Los Angeles—150. But they can't be clip-ons. Every pair of pants I buy—jeans, anything—we sew in the suspender buttons." — Larry King. [Time]
• "Some people are suing us at the moment and although it was initially a bit depressing, now it's become really inspiring. You think, 'Right, if everyone's trying to take away our best song, then we'd better write 25 better ones.' And so just at the point where I was thinking about getting fat and becoming complacent, I've been finding more inspiration." — Chris Martin of Coldplay. [Rolling Stone]
• "As everybody knows, chicks dig the vampires." — Paul Wesley, star of the new CW show The Vampire Diaries. The show is produced by Kevin Williamson, the force behind Dawson's Creek.

• How did Brad Pitt end up in Inglourious Basterds? Booze and weed maybe:

"All I know is we talked about backstory and we talked about movies into the wee hours," Brad says. "I got up the next morning and I saw five empty bottles of wine on the floor. Five. And something that resembled smoking apparatus, I don't know what that was. Apparently I had agreed to do the movie and six weeks later I was in a uniform." You read that right: He and Quentin Tarantino were wasted and talking about Hitler. [Guardian]

• "'Today' show's Ann Curry can't keep hands off 'Inglourious Basterds' Brad Pitt in Cannes." [NY Daily News]
• Some guy named Kris Allen won this thing called American Idol. Will the Glambert have a career?!?! [Reuters, NY Daily News]
• Simon Cowell has his personal bodyguards watching over Terri Seymour after she was attacked by a disgruntled American Idol fan. [Daily Mail]
• Green Day has the most popular CD in the country, but you can't get it at Wal-Mart; "They won't carry our record because they wanted us to censor it," frontman Billie Joe Armstrong says. The retailer would have offered a "clean" version, but Billie Joe explains: "We just said no. We've never done it before. You feel like you're in 1953 or something." [AP]
• Rihanna was indeed seen kissing rapper Drake, whom you may know as Aubrey Graham, aka Jimmy Brooks on Degrassi: The Next Generation; the guy in the wheelchair. Remember that time he found out he couldn't get it up? Yeah. Anyway click here for a LOL. [People]
• The recent Bruce Springsteen hubub — in which he was accused of having an affair with his neighbor's wife — was actually extortion. The husband thought the rocker would pay "big money" to make the accusations "go away." [NY Post]
• The brother of Jon Gosselin's alleged mistress says: "The rumors are true… Personally, I do think they're going to continue seeing each other. I think they think they can get away with it." [E!]
• Kate Gosselin says the tabloids are making her life hell and she is worried about the kids: . "I don't want them dragged into this. It kills me. I've been saying, 'Let's find a country where our show doesn't air, and let's just go there until this all dies.' I have to laugh about this, or else I'll cry. It's a matter of, when will they stop?" [People]
• Mariah Carey announced the title of her new album via Twitter: "Bcuz I Love U, I want u to be the first to know the title of my new album Memoirs Of An Imperfect Angel. It's very personal & dedicated to u." It is not dedicated to proper spelling, however. [Mirror]
• Talent firms William Morris and Endeavor are merging, which is good news for clients like Amy Adams, Keira Knightley, Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, but bad news for the 100+ people who have been laid off. [Gatecrasher]
• Chris Brown may be working on a country song called "Trapped In A Dream." Doesn't he mean nightmare? [E!]
• Kim Cattrall has written an essay about making Memorial Day meaningful for The Huffington Post. She writes: "My family has served in the military dating back at least four generations, so I can truly appreciate the sacrifices made by those men and women who have fought so courageously in defense of freedom." [HuffPo]
• Kim Kardashian's Dash stores in Miami and Calabasas CA have both been vandalized — the perps scribbled graffiti on the windows, and the kopykat krime in CA included a note which read, "We love you Kim!!" If you love her, why are you spraypainting her windows? [TMZ, E!]
• Susan Boyle: Namechecked on The Simpsons. [Mirror]
• The head honcho at Disney/ABC is being dragged into Kate Walsh's divorce battle — Kate's ex wants him to testify about Kate's finances. [TMZ]
• Josh Lucas has dumped a gf via text message in the past. "I'm sickeningly embarrassed about it to this day." [Gatecrasher]
• A man in Montana — who was accused in 2005 of trying to kidnap David Letterman's son — was denied appeal by the Montana Supreme Court. [AP]
• Michael Jackson canceled the first four opening shows of his 50-date gig at London's O2 arena, which means 80,000 fans who had bought tickets will have to wait up to eight months to see the concerts. Jackson says the cancellation is due to "technical issues." As in, technically, he is not ready to do a huge concert? [Daily Mail]
• Can you ever, ever get tired of seeing pictures of 50 Cent and Bette Midler together? [Gatecrasher]
• James Cameron's Avatar, described by Steven Soderbergh as "the craziest shit ever," may be shown in theaters for THREE MONTHS. [NY Mag]
• Natalie Cole had a kidney transplant on Tuesday; she had been have dialysis three times a week since September. [CNN]
• "'Meet me man to man and I'll save your marriage,' Katie Price's horse 'hunk' tells Peter Andre." [Daily Mail]
• In case you didn't hear, My Name Is Earl has been canceled. [Mirror, BBC]
• Abbie Cornish is in Jane Campion's new flick, Bright Star, and according to this report, she "dyed her locks chocolate brown, filled out her figure to fit with the era's rounder beauty standards and took diction lessons in order to deliver Keats' poetry just so." [WWD]
• Rosario Dawson will star opposite — ugh — Kevin James in a romcom called The Zookeeper. What is up with the schlubby dudes getting hot ladies? [Variety]
• Hank Azaria plays a reanimated ancient Egyptian bent on world domination in Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian and says: "It's kind of my niche — semi-naked, accented freak." [LA Times]
• Rapper/producer Swizz Beatz is in a relationship with Alicia Keys. But he's not yet divorced from wife Mashonda. He wants the court to seal documents related to the divorce so the public doesn't know any details. [Page Six]
• Michael Douglas spent Wednesday night moderating a panel of Washington experts on the issue of ridding the world of nuclear weapons. I watched Clean House. [USA Today]
• Phil Spector may get life in prison. [Mirror]
• Congrats to Chad Lowe and girlfriend Kim Painter, whose first child, Mabel Painter Lowe, was born on Saturday. [Star]
• Samantha Harris, the lady with the brown hair on Dancing With The Stars, will play Roxie Hart in Chicago on Broadway. [Page Six]
• Heather Mills was approached to be the face of a video game (based around someone with a prosthetic arm), but she wanted six figures to get involved with the project, and the producers were like, No. [The Sun]
• Redmond O'Neal was transferred to a new jail, where he'll begin intensive drug treatment. [People]
• "As she exhibits the bloodstained bag John Lennon's clothes were stored in after his murder, why the ex-Beatle's fans are saying 'You're just a ghoul, Yoko.'" [Daily Mail]
• RIP Wayne Allwine, who was the voice of Mickey Mouse. [Reuters]
• Blind item! "Which top model was dismissed from her agency - all because she became a Scientologist?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Batman's a hell of a lot tougher to do because he's all physical. He doesn't use guns. He's completely physical. John Connor uses guns. It's just a matter of picking somebody off and getting a good shot." — Christian Bale. [Mirror]
• "I've joined the millions and millions of women on the planet who are working mums, and I've discovered it's a real balancing act. I think the most incredible thing for me was that I didn't read any books about how to be a mum. Your instinct kicks in, and it's like you're tapping knowledge that you have in your DNA." — Rachel Weisz. [Mirror]
• "Artistically, me and Brad have been sniffing around each other for a while. The longing looks across the room, the little notes, 'I like you, do you like me.' Pretty quickly into writing I realised this is the one for Brad and then I started getting nervous – 'shit, if he doesn't do it, what the fuck am I going to do?'" — Quentin Tarantino, on Inglourious Basterds. he also says: "I'm never going to explain the spelling. When you do an artistic flourish like that, to describe it, to explain it, to take the piss out of it would invalidate the whole stroke in the first place." [Guardian]
• "We interviewed GfE's. They were intrigued by (the film). They were very helpful, very open. They would have to see the film to let me know if it's an accurate depiction of their lifestyle or not. There was only one of them we talked to that was in a committed relationship. That was one of the things we talked about — how do relationships work when this is your job? Most of them said it really doesn't. Most of them said if I'm going to get serious with someone then I'll stop working for a while and play it out. All of them said it never works out with a client. Whenever you move from the client to a real relationship it never works out. Although the one that we met who was in a committed relationship did meet that person as a client and they have been together for a long time. So I guess there are no absolutes. But in general they seem to think that doesn't work." — Steven Soderbergh, on his new film, The Girlfriend Experience. [Reuters]
• "Every time I am making a movie I feel insecure, and I feel scared, and that's part of the way I work.If one day I would be on the set feeling too secure - that would really scare me." — Penelope Cruz. [Yahoo News via AP]
• "I'd like to offer an apology and a clarification to remarks I made recently. While on the David Letterman program, I joked that I might need a ‘mail-order bride' to achieve the goal of having more children in my life. I believe that most people understood that this was a joke and took it as such. (A dated reference, no doubt, and another sign of my advancing age.) However, I do apologize to anyone who took offense." — Jack Donaghy Alec Baldwin. [MSNBC]
• "Showbiz types are people who grew up talking to themselves alone in a room for hours until they found some sort of outlet. Once they found that outlet, everything fell into place, except for the fact that they still never worked out why they still talk so much. So you see, though filled with deep emotional voids that can never be filled, Showbiz Types are an important part of our Nation's tapestry. I'm a Showbiz Type. (cue penny whistle and marching drums) But I am not a douche!!" — John Mayer. [Perez]
• "FRESH ASS PICTURE!!! YO WHY CAN'T ALL PAPARAZZI PHOTOS BE THIS GOOD? WELL OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE MOST CELEBS JUST AREN'T RIHANNA LOL! ... BUT ON THE REAL, THIS PIC IS HARDCORE. PEEP THE PERSPECTIVE SHOT OF THE CITY IN THE BACK. SOMETIMES THE PAPS OVEREXPOSE THE LENS OR HAVE THE FLASH TOO HIGH TAKING ALL THE EMOTION OUT OF THE MOMENT. THIS MOMENT IS CAPTURED IN TIME NOW. I LOOK AT OUR CURRENT SUPERSTARS LIKE LEGENDS IN THE MAKING... LIKE JUSTIN IS THE NEW MIKE , BEYONCE'S THE NEW TINA TURNER, GAGA'S MADONNA, JAY IS SINATRA... WAYNE IS HENDRIX, THOM YORKE IS ROGER WATERS, THESE ARE THE CHAMPIONS AND SHOULD BE DOCUMENTED AS SUCH. THAT SAID, IT WOULD BE DOPE IF THE PAPS OPERATED WITH THE SAME INTEGRITY AND ATTENTION TO THEIR CRAFT AS THE LEGENDS THEY PHOTOGRAPH..... GOOD JOB ON THIS ONE!" — Your friend Kanye West, complimenting a snap of Rihanna. [Kanye Univercity, NY Daily News]

• Nancy Pelosi left a health-care forum at the White House to meet with Brad Pitt. This piece calls them "Brancy." [WaPo]

• Everybody on Capitol Hill was atwitter over Brad Pitt being in their midst; Rep. James E. Clyburn says: "I did not realize when the Speaker asked me to chair the Katrina/Rita task force that it would lead to my getting in a position to make my grandchildren so envious of me, because this effort brought the two of us — Brad Pitt and myself together." [Politico]
• This headline sums it up: "Capitol Hill Goes Gaga Over Brad Pitt." [USA Today]
• Back in September, Amy Winehouse was involved in some kind of "incident" (uh, which one?) and now she has been charged with assault. Run back to St. Lucia! [People]
• Oh yeah: It was when she punched a fan who asked for a picture. [The Sun, Daily Mail]
• Um, Amy's husband Blake Fielder-Civil is "besotted" with Francesca Morralee, who is 17. [The Sun]
• Chris Brown appeared in court yesterday but did not enter a plea. His arraignment was delayed until April 6. [People]
  
• Here's a picture of two "fans" outside Chris Brown's court hearing yesterday, with signs which read "I love you Chris." [Concrete Loop]
• After Chris Brown was charged with two felonies, one of Rihanna's relatives told People: "It's about time." [People]
• Rihanna's lawyer told Chris Brown: "I think Rihanna would like this over as quickly as possible. It benefits everybody." Then Brown's own lawyer told Brown: "I've explained it to you that the best thing that could happen in this case is, Don [Rihanna's lawyer] is involved. Didn't I tell you that?" [LA Times]
• Nine days passed before Chris Brown apologized to Rihanna for beating her. [Fox 411]
• The reason Usher backed down on his criticism of Chris Brown? Rihanna. Trying to show support for Rihanna. [MSNBC]
• Chris Brown "hit the town" after his court appearance. Not really… He hung out at a hotel bar with bodyguards. [TMZ]
• What the goop was Gwyneth Paltrow doing getting into a chauffeur-driven car with Christiane Amanpour? [Page Six]
• Jewel and Nancy O'Dell have both withdrawn from Dancing With The Stars due to injuries suffered during rehearsals. What the hell goes on at that show? [People]
• Girls Next Door star Holly Madison will replace Jewel and Nancy. [NY Daily News]
• It may have sounded like there were screaming masses at Michael Jackson's press conference, but there were only 25 people including press. [Gatecrasher]
• But! People trying to get "pre-sale" tickets for Jackson's show are complaining that the website is effed. [Telegraph]
• Even though Heath Ledger's dad told a reporter that the family planned to keep Heath's Oscar "forever," it will actually go to Michelle Williams. Today. She will hold it for Matilda. [LA Times]
• WTF. This report begins, "Madonna has offered a gnarly old hand to Sienna Miller…" [Daily Star]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony were "in tears" watching American Idol finalist Jorge Nuñez. [E!]
• "Regis Philbin Blackmail Shocker!" [National Enquirer]
• David Beckham will stay with AC Milan until the end of the season and will return next season, but he'll be "timeshared" with the LA Galaxy between July and October. [Daily Mail]
• "Flip-flopping" Bachelor Jason Mesnick swears he is not a jerk. [MSNBC]
• Shh! Don't tell anyone, but Lucy Liu is an artist, painting under the pseudonym Yu Ling. Snap up her portrait of two people kissing for a mere $28,000. [Page Six]
• It's all baby-talk all the time on the set of Ugly Betty. [People]
• For an episode of Oprah's show, Dennis Quaid and his wife returned to the hospital where their twins were given an overdose of blood thinner. [AP]
• Vince Vaughn is engaged and the lady is named Kyla Weber; she's a Canadian real estate agent. [Gatecrasher]
• Simon Cowell and ex Terri Seymour went on a dinner date. Cue the "ooooohhhh!" [Daily Mail]
• Gossip Girl's Matthew Settle and his wife welcomed a daughter, Aven Angelica, yesterday. [People]
• "LSD, Easter Island, science fiction and, of course, Lorne Michaels, all played a role in developing the Coneheads sketch for Saturday Night Live. [Page Six]
• Joe Francis denies he accidentally bumped into Brody Jenner's girlfriend at a club, which sparked a screaming match. Joe, ever the pacifist, says: "There was no physical contact, but if you're Brody Jenner and dating an ugly piece of trash…you should expect these types of altercations." [Page Six]
• Ghostface has written a song for Rihanna. Sample lyrics: "Shake it off, wake up… Pretty lady, come about yourself…" [Concrete Loop]
• Fantasia Barrino returns to the musical The Color Purple for a five week stint in Washington DC. [Variety]
• Mark Wahlberg will star in a "dark thriller" which this piece calls "one of the hottest scripts in town." It's set in Boston, so Wahlberg can do his best "Say hello to your mother for me." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• DNA tests prove that Jerry Lewis has a daughter — he mother had an affair with the entertainer back in 1952. He has not publicly acknowledged the woman as his daughter, but his son agreed to a DNA test because "everybody deserves to know where they came from and who they are." [UPI]
• Blind item: "Which flowery former wild child had a bad sexual experience with the creator of a hit TV show - but went for another round because 'she'll try anything twice'?" [Gatecrasher]
• R.I.P. Sydney Chaplin, Charlie Chaplin's son and Tony-award winning actor. [AP]
• "My dad is more of a rock star than me. He embraces the lifestyle. People think having your dad on tour would cramp your style. But I don't have any style - he's got all the right moves. He's living the dream. I am going to check he hasn't trashed the hotel room before we leave each city." — Chris Martin. [The Sun]
• "The biggest thing for me is that I am now going to have to choose between work - this script or that script. Until now, my roles have chosen me; my career has been shaped essentially by never saying no. But now I will have to say no. I just hope l'll be wise in my choosing." — Melissa Leo, about her life post-Oscar nomination. [Guardian]
• "So when I do go out with him I sit and get progressively more pissed, and he's one of those annoying people who remembers everything. I go to him, 'Just have a fucking beer! One beer!' And he says to me that if he has one beer he'll probably end up in a crack house in Kings Cross within 40 minutes. I'm like, ‘Brilliant, I'll come with you.'" — Noel Gallagher, on hanging out with Russell Brand, who does not drink. [The Sun]
• "It's fine if Tori wants her own reality show or wants to write books about her childhood. I just wish she'd leave me out of it. She has plenty to talk about without saying things like, 'I wish I were closer to my mother,' or 'Did you see what my mother wrote on her Web site?' I wish she would call me, rather than say on television, 'I should call my mom.'" — Candy Spelling, whose autobiography, Stories From Candy-Land, is out at the end of the month. [Gatecrasher]
• "Dave [Stewart] and I talk to each other only rarely these days, and I can't see another reunion. He lives in America and I'm over here. We're both working on our own things. For me, it would feel like a step backwards and I want to keep moving forward. I enjoy multi-tasking, so I want to do a lot of different things. I want to keep all the plates spinning." — Annie Lennox. [Daily Mail]
• "I am in perfect health. I'm in very good shape and feeling very good." — Hugh Hefner, knocking down reports that her was "far from his normally alert self" at a recent party. [Yahoo News via E!]
• "It doesn't vacuum, it doesn't wash the dishes or stuff like that." — Charlize Theron, joking about her Oscar. [The Star]
• "I'd love to work with Amy Winehouse. She has a very distinct, sexy, soulful voice and she writes great lyrics." — John Legend. [Mirror]
• "[The role reminds me of ] a period of my life where I had to work several jobs to pay my bills. Something would go wrong and you'd have to take another job to get your car running. That was very real for me." — Amy Adams, on Sunshine Cleaning. [WSJ]

• Whoa: Recent quotes about Scarlett Johansson's marriage to Ryan Reynolds were "wholly fabricated": The actress "has at no point granted U.K. Cosmopolitan an interview, and never discussed her personal relationships with the publication." [E!]

• Nicole Kidman dared to blow into a didgeridoo on German TV and now Aboriginal leaders are upset and Nicole might be unable to ever bear children again! [Sydney Morning Herald]
• It's a good thing Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are back together; her camp was "shopping" for dates so she wouldn't have to be single during her Marley & Me publicity blitz. [Page Six]
• Did Sharon Osbourne get in a "catfight" with a Rock of Love: Charm School contestant? Megan Hauserman claims Sharon "went ballistic," pulled her hair and scratched her during the filming of the reunion special. Don't mess with Mrs. Osbourne! [The Sun]
• Mad Men's Christina Hendricks: Engaged! [People]
• Lovely: Amy Winehouse's husband, Blake Incarcerated, was offered £5,000 to find a hitman to kill Amy's drug dealer. Just another day in Fielder-Civil world! [News Of The World]
• Who will accept the Golden Globe if Heath Ledger wins? His father, Kim? Michelle Williams — on behalf of Matilda? Director Chris Nolan? Christian Bale? [Rush & Molloy]
• American Idol will be completely revamped when it comes back in January: Expect fewer bad singers and more "aspirational" singers. Oh, and that fourth judge. [People, USA Today]
• Jay-Z buying office furniture counts as "gossip" ? [Page Six]
• Did a gift trigger the Jennifer Hudson family murders? When Jennifer's sister Julia turned 31, William Balfour stopped by and spotted a present he believed was from another man. [People]
• Jennifer Hudson canceled her video shoot right after she announced she was ready to go back to work. [The Sun]
• Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham once said that her belly was flabby. "Now everyone thinks I have a stomach like a Shar-Pei dog when I don't," she says. Dear Posh, no one thinks that. [Mirror]
• Three years ago, Simon Cowell told Esquire magazine that he found Beyoncé "mystifying" and "not sexy"; apparently he recently had to apologize so she would appear on his X Factor show. See Simon grovel. [Daily Express]
• Holy crap. Michael Jackson's outfit is something yours truly has worn. Except for the face mask. And the hat. And the clogs. [Concrete Loop]
• Gossip Girl gossip! Leighton Meester is engaged, according to her "secret" Facebook page. Beau Sebastian Stan is the lucky man. [Page Six]
• "I just love her music, and she’s so real. I picked out [my outfit] two nights ago." — one of the many tweens who love Miley Cyrus. [WWD]
• Will Smith is not always up-to-date: "I sat there with my children and my 16-year-old son couldn't understand how I didn't know [the election] was over already. He was like 'You're out of touch.'" [AP]
• Speaking of Will Smith: A Hancock sequel and a I Am Legend prequel in the works? [Page Six]
• A snippet of this Robert Pattinson interview: "Before I have to go out to face a crowd, I stare and stare at myself in the mirror until I have to tell myself to stop staring, since there’s nothing I can do." Because of the expectations? "Yes." [Times Of London]
• Peaches Geldof hired her ex-boyfriend to work on her magazine and her husband is pissed. [Mirror]
• Hilary Duff and Mandy Moore were forced to use the front entrance at a party instead of the paparazzi-free back door, boo hoo. [Page Six]
• An Australian woman says she hooked up with Gordon Ramsay; Ramsay says "I've never even heard of her." [Daily Mail]
• Blind item! "Which actor who played a cheating husband on TV has been cheating on his wife in real life? At an annual charity golf tournament on Long Island last summer, he spotted an attractive beautician, got her number, and found out she was willing." [Page Six]
• Aretha Franklin missed an award presentation but showed up for the benefit concert portion of a show for the Soldiers', Sailors', Marines', Coast Guard and Airmen's Club. [AP]
• Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, is single and ready to mingle: "I'd love to have a boyfriend. It’s not that I’m looking but I think that if my heart is open, someone will walk in. Let’s hope someone does." [Daily Express]
• Now that she's broken up with Simon Cowell, Terri Seymour is renovating her L.A. mansion. Hmm, where is she getting the cash? [Daily Mail]
• Mischa Barton has got her hands on another rock dude; this time it's Luke Pritchard of the Kooks. [Mirror]
• Director Terry Gilliam has written an essay on Heath Ledger, who died halfway though Gilliam's film, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. Gilliam writes: "In terms of his acting, it still rankles with me that he's dead because he would have been streets ahead of anyone else in his generation. He just kept getting better and better. He was fearless." [Guardian]
• Roger Avary, Oscar-winning screenwriter of Pulp Fiction, pleaded not guilty to vehicular manslaughter and driving under the influence of alcohol in a fatal crash from last January. [AP]
• Jerry Hall is "disgusted" with Rolling Stone rocker Ronnie Wood for leaving his wife Jo and running off with a 20-year-old Russian cocktail waitress. When he came to visit, Jerry wouldn't answer the door. Burn! [Daily Mail]
• "I guess everyone's broke so times are tough for all. But while I don't care much for club spots anyway, it would've been fun with Tommy again. Still, now I can go snowboarding with my kids. So it's meant to be." — Pamela Anderson, who had a Las Vegas gig with Tommy Lee axed due to the crap economy. [Mirror]
• "I think it's really disgusting when a celebrity isn't doing something for charity. It feels so good, and it's so easy- - when you've got the money and you've got the exposure - to give something back." — Mel "Scary Spice" B. [Daily Mail]
• "When he died, there were all these nonsensical stories coming out about Heath Ledger, James Dean and River Phoenix, all destroyed by the system - but that's bullshit. What happened was an absurd accident. I still don't understand it. I know he was exhausted - the last thing he said was that he was so tired and just wanted to sleep. You actually think at certain times angels come down to earth and Heath might have been one of them. And then he's gone and you think: this is all wrong, all the other people should be dead. He should be leading us all into a wonderful world of adventure." — Terry Gilliam on Heath Ledger. [Guardian]

• Wow, Lindsay Lohan and Sean Penn nuzzled at a private dinner for Milk last week. Samantha Ronson was not present. What does it all mean? [Fox 411]
• Photographs of Jennifer Aniston in a wet T-shirt with a "visible breast" are in a calendar, but a spokesperson says, "I don't think this is legal." [Times Of India]
• In this interview to promote Marley & Me, Jennifer Aniston gets pissy about her personal life, and when asked about the "difficult times," Owen Wilson walks out. [USA Today]
• Oh, dear: Amy Winehouse's husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, wants $1.6 million to walk away from the marriage and not write a tell-all book. All together now: What kind of fuckery is this? [Perez Hilton]
• Another divorce payout: Madonna will reportedly give Guy Ritchie about £32 million in cash and prizes. [Telegraph]

• In this interview, Brtiney's mom, Lynne Spears, says she almost called her autobiography All My Fault. "I can laugh about it now, but did I feel that way at the time? Yes, I did and, if I'm being totally honest, I still do," she says. Lynne also talks about being worried that Britney will kill herself, the conservatorship and what's missing in Britney's life. [Daily Mail]
• David Beckham was being followed by paparazzi, so he and his bodyguard got out of the car and started punching photographers through the other car's window. [E!]
• Click to see a picture of David Beckham bungee jumping in New Zealand! [Mirror]
• Mary-Kate Olsen: Not pregnant, which makes it okay that she was in Miami, "smoking and drinking vodka cocktails all night." [Page Six]
• Ouch! Man Vs. Wild host Bear Grylls injured his shoulder in Antarctica during an expedition to raise money for charity. [CNN]
• What does Scarlett Johansson want for Christmas? Tickets to Barack Obama's inauguration ball! [Mirror]
• Is 42-year-old Janet Jackson knocked up? [Perez Hilton]
• Heath Ledger was posthumously named best actor by the Australian Film Institute for his role in The Dark Knight. [Reuters]
• Heidi Montag's mom suggested maybe Heidi was drugged before she married Spencer Pratt; Heidi says: "I want to make it very clear to family, friends and fans that the decision to marry Spencer was very much mine." Ugh, we know. [Contact Music]
• Perez Hilton has a book, you guys. Inside, predictions such as: "Britney will be probably be dead. I believe she came pretty close to the stripper pole in the sky the last time she hit rock bottom." And! Nicole Richie "will be really fat in her old age. Her body will rebel and she’ll weigh almost 180 lbs. OMG!" [Gatecrasher]
• America Ferrera will be the master of ceremonies at a debt-retirement "conversation" with Hillary Clinton. The Senator has $7.5 million in campaign debt, yikes. [MSNBC]
• Poor Barbra Streisand got a kiss from President Bush, whom she loathes, at the Kennedy Center honors. [NY Post]
• In an interview with Gwyneth Paltrow and her friend/trainer, Tracy Anderson (who also trains Madonna), Gwynnie reveals: "When I was about 25, I started doing ashtanga yoga every day. I did Pilates for a while and was always disciplined about it, but I never got the results I get with this. After my first 10 days I lost 11 inches!" [Gotham Magazine]
• Want Kanye West to appear at an after-party? Better have $40,000. [News.com.au]
• If you have $8.5 million, you can scoop up Jennifer Lopez's Bel Air estate. [TMZ]
• Jamie Foxx jokes that he's trying to pick out Barack Obama's Christmas puppy right now: "I think I'm going to get him a pitbull, we just got to keep it street." [Yahoo News]
• Lily Allen "swaps grungy guys for a more mature gent": She went to the ballet with her grandfather. [Mirror]
• Oh, and Lily Allen is sticking up for Amy Winehouse: "Yes, she does get out of her mind on drugs sometimes, but she is also a very clever, intelligent, witty, funny person who can hold it together. I mean, there aren't that many people with whom the press concentrate on their personality so much. I think in the UK, as far as females go, it's mainly me and her that get that treatment. She gets it more than I do. But I don't see it that much with other people." [Mirror]
• Keanu Reeves is trying to quit smoking. "I didn't even start until I was 30," he says. "Now it's a prison. I want to stop." [Daily Mail]
• Due to the economy, Kate Hudson is having a handmade Christmas: "We've always been pretty crafty anyway," she says. "We all knit. The girls knit. This year I’m doing these great big knit… Well, actually I shouldn’t even talk about it because I can’t say it!" [People]
• Wow, Catherine Hardwicke, who directed Twilight, won't be directing the sequel. What will become of the fangless, unscary vampires now? [EW]
• Terri Seymour on her breakup with Simon Cowell: "Simon will be a hard act to follow. But on the bright side at least I will be able to use the mirror. He used to take forever in the mornings." [Mirror]
• Suri Cruise is a budding artist. [Daily Mail]
• Dame Judi Dench was presented with a lifetime achievement award by The European Film Academy at a gala in Copenhagen, Denmark. [UPI]
• Jonny Lee Miller's wife, Michele Hicks, gave birth to a baby boy, Buster Timothy Miller. Will Buster get to play with the Jolie-Pitt kids? Jonny is still friends with ex-wife Angelina Jolie, right? [Yahoo News]
• Another day, another stalker: Alyssa Milano is seeking a temporary restraining order against a man who hiked miles to try and reach her and has displayed "increasingly threatening behavior." [AP]
• Chris Klein and Ginnifer Goodwin: Splitsville. [ET]
• Uterus news: Eric Dane says he and wife Rebecca Gayheart are "trying" to have kids. [ET]
• Another important message from Natalie Portman and Rashida Jones. [Funny Or Die]
• Blind item! "Which supposedly straight funnyman keeps getting caught in West Village dives propositioning men by opening his legs and winking? We hear the B-lister had a few takers." [Gatecrasher]
• 'Tis the season? There are six Holocaust-themed movies this winter. [Page Six]
• The Fonz, Henry Winkler, had terrible dyslexia: "I'd look at a menu, which I couldn't read, then ask what everyone else was having and choose from that. Or if I was out with a girl I'd tell her I loved the way she spoke and get her to read the whole menu to me. I got through life by listening very carefully to what people said and learning that way. As I got older I learned to ask for help." [Daily Mail]
• Is Danity Kane/Hairspray's Aubrey O'Day gay? [Page Six]
• "I'm 41. Everybody says I'd be dead. Well, I wouldn't be dead, I'd just be a little caricature of a rock star. Who wants to be a drug addict at 41? Listen, I'm 41, I've got two kids, I don't expect a 16-year-old to be looking to me for inspiration. It's the Arctic Monkeys' job now. I've done my bit. Now we go in the studio and it's just like, let's make some records, let's do it cos we love it." — Noel Gallagher. [Guardian]
• "I didn't want to see her journey belittled. She was not a stereotypical long-suffering wife who just chastised her husband when he was grumpy and took care of the kids. She was extremely capable, and she was forward thinking. Looking back, she was clearly a feminist." — Laura Linney on her role as Abigail Adams in John Adams. [Telegraph]
• "I'm just really lazy. Too lazy to phone the cleaning lady. But I do have a German boyfriend. He can't help cleaning. Recently he came back from a long trip and he kissed me and immediately went and cleaned the toilet." — Rufus Wainwright. [Newsweek]
• "I'm at a strange age. I'm not a woman yet, but I'm not a girl any more. [Film companies] say, 'Oh, in a couple of years you’ll be perfect for this.' I'll be like, yeah, but I want to be studying English then, so it’s going to be quite tough to choose between the two. I'm going to have a battle on my hands, because after Harry Potter has finished, I don't know. I definitely want to go to university." — Emma Watson. [Times Of London]
• "I will not be shagging Russell Brand. Just because I gave him my number does not mean I’ll be going on a date with him. I was the subject of one of his calls once, but I didn’t answer the phone thank goodness! I just saw his name come up on the screen and thought: 'I don’t think I’m going to answer that right now.' He was on air and it was just good female intuition. I had another conversation with him on the radio shortly before he left his radio show and he is a lot fun. I like him. And I can totally handle guys like that." — Dita Von Teese. [The Sun]

• Aww, lookit: BritBrit on the cover of Rolling Stone, looking healthy and happy. She says: "I feel like an old person now. I do! I go to bed at, like, 9:30 every night, and I don't go out or anything." Oh! But Britney did go on a date recently, and took her assistant and a manager's friend with her. "Right when we got there, we just knew it was just bad," she says. "He looked like an older version of Harry Potter, but skinnier. So I had to get dessert first." Plus! Her kids "are starting to learn words like 'stupid,' and Preston says the f-word now sometimes. He doesn't get it from us. He must get it from his daddy." [ONTD, USA Today, The Sun]
• With good news must come bad: Amy Winehouse was rushed to the hospital after screaming fight with Blake Formerly Incarcerated. [The Sun]
• Why is Kate Moss all scratched up and bruised? [Daily Mail]
• Click to see Lindsay Lohan sneak vodka into her drink: Caught on camera! [The.Life Flies]

• The Boy George trial has begun! A Norwegian male escort claims he was chained to the wall and beaten by the former Culture Club singer. The court heard about sex toys, leather straps, cocaine: The usual. [Daily Mail, BBC News]
• In his first interview since the plane crash, Travis Barker explains why he has filed a lawsuit: "If something goes wrong that's not supposed to go wrong or you fall victim of it, I think you should be compensated." [Perez Hilton, People]
• Shanna Moakler's been hanging out with Travis Barker lately — and she's been wearing her wedding ring. [TMZ]
• Spencer and Heidi didn't just elope: They got married on November 20. They were able to keep the wedding secret until this week. The ceremony was held on the beach in Mexico, and it wasn't planned. There were no family members present and it took about 15 minutes. [Perez Hilton]
• Spencer's wedding vows: "Heidi, from the moment you came into my life, I knew my life would never be the same without you. You are the light in my life like the sun to the earth! Your loving warmth makes me want to be a better person…" Oy. [Perez Hilton]
• Heidi "couldn't stop crying" after saying her vows. [MSBC]
• Uh-oh, Heidi didn't tell her dad about marrying Spencer. "I would be upset if she got married and didn't invite me!" Bill Montag says. [People]
• Look for all the wedding pictures in Us magazine. More in Midweek Madness today! [Perez Hilton]
• Nicole Kidman is psyched her daughter, Sunday Rose, is "born and bred" in Nashville. "I hope she has a Southern accent." [People, Sydney Morning Herald]
• Number one on E!'s "Top 10 Sexiest Women" list? Belly-button-less icon, Karolina Kurkova. Number 2 is Bar Rafaeli, and Angelina Jolie is a mere third. Scarlett Johansson is chopped liver. [Mirror]
• Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance: Daddy-to-be! His wife Lindsey is expecting a child in summer 2009. A tiny nü-goth emo kid? [NY Times]
• Madonna: "I'm sad about my personal life, but I feel very blessed and very lucky that I have the opportunity to do what I do in my professional life. It would be horrible if I was just thinking about getting a divorce and had nothing to do." Lord, imagine if she had nothing to do??? [AP]
• In an e-mail, A-Rod's soon-to-be-ex-wife, Cynthia, writes: "My 6-foot-3, 220-pound, soul-less, soon-to-be ex-husband is abandoning his kids on Thanksgiving to be with Madonna. She called and he ran on her command back to New York City… Gross!" A source says: "Alex likes a woman with a strong hand. He likes to be told what to do. He's a bit of a cipher." [Page Six]
• Tom Cruise admits that his past erratic behavior was maybe not endearing. "There are things that I could have done better," he says. I was surprised at the criticism but it brought everyone closer together: Katie’s entire family and my family." Also, he says: We’ll have more children, I’m saying this, but Kate’s not here!" On Suri: "She’s happy and fun. She’ll just wave to people in the street." [Mirror]
• Oh, plus: "I have to say some of those paparazzi shots of my daughter are incredible," Tom says. Agreed! These snaps of Suri eating a cupcake are brain-exploding cuteness. [Daily Mail]
• Joel Madden is "thrilled" his friends Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Pete Wentz have a kid. "They are going to be great parents. They both have really big hearts." [People]
• Evan Rachel Wood and Joseph Gordon Levitt: It's on. [Perez Hilton]
• Reese Witherspoon says she doesn't know why there are rumors that she didn't get along with Vince Vaughn while shooting Four Christmases… not that we ever heard those rumors. She says: "We're very good friends and very much partners on this movie. We decided to produce it together and we re-wrote the script together and every day was like: 'How are we going to do this?' 'What are we going to do now?'" Related: The flick looks shitty. [UPI]
• Celebrities blog. [Reuters]
• Simon Cowell and his ex, Terri Seymour, talk five times a day? [The Star]
• Oh and Terri denies that Simon paid her off after they broke up: "I was horrified when I read that he’s supposed to have given me $10m or whatever. I was like, ‘Why?’ I’ve worked myself since I was 12 years old. I’ve always been very independent and I’m lucky that I still work like I do." [Mirror]
• Jude Law and Sadie Frost ran into each other at a party, but kept a frosty distance, heh. [The Sun]
• Julianne Hough: Looking to be a pop star now that she's hung up her Dancing shoes. [People]
• Speaking of Dancing With The Stars, Joey Fatone talks shit about the contestants: "Kim Kardashian, ugh, she has no personality at all. It was painful to watch. Lance Bass can't point his toe for shit… he had to have two Red Bulls before doing the jive." [Page Six]
• America's Next Top Model is thisclose to getting renewed for a 13th cycle. [Yahoo News]
• Is Paris Hilton in denial about her breakup with Benji Madden? "Right now we’re just taking a break,” she told Life & Style magazine. "We both love each other very much, and we’ll see what happens in the future. My work schedule is out of control, so it’s hard for us to have time for each other. It’s going to be really hard being alone during the holidays, but I’m lucky to have a great family." [MSNBC]
• Paris, who was dumped via voicemail earlier this month, talked about how much she loves Benji on Ryan Seacrest's radio show. She should have dedicated a song to him, old-skool steez. [Mirror]
• Everyone is over Paris anyway, she was booed at a club in Hollywood this weekend. [Page Six]
• Cloris Leachman talks about her health: She's got asthma, but it turned into pneumonia maybe, or bronchitis, but now she says, "I'm better than I've been in years." [ET]
• Kevin Spacey was given a special theater award for rejuvenating one of London's best-loved play houses, the Old Vic. [Telegraph]
• Chinese people are angry that Guns N' Roses called their album Chinese Democracy. [ABC News]
• Jason Lee and Ceren Alkac: Married. Back in July. Guess it was a secret. And they have a baby girl, born in August, and they haven't released her name, but we can only hope it's as, uh, unique as Lee's son's name, Pilot Inspektor. [People]
• Boston Legal: Case closed. As in, show cancelled. [UPI]
• Paul McCartney spills on his new relationship! "I just like being in love," he says. Yawn. [People]
• Legendary producer David Foster says working with Paul McCartney was "a little like being on a bad date. Ten bad dates, maybe." [Rush & Molloy]
• The new show on A&E, Steven Seagal: Lawman, will follow the actor as he fights crime in Louisiana. Did you know he was a police officer??? [Daily Express]
• Bryant Gumbel's 29-year-old son Bradley was arrested for an alleged DUI last week. [TMZ]
• The guy shot dead to the Hollywood Scientology Center had made prior threats, and less than a month ago he was arrested somewhere for swinging an ax at an Auto Club employee who was bringing him gas for his car. [LA Times]
• George Takei's husband is wondering why George hasn't been wearing his wedding ring while on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here: "I can't tell if George is wearing his and that worries me. Maybe he doesn't want it covered in grime," Brad Altman frets. [Mirror]
• Robin Gibb of the Bee Gees had a standoff with security guards and missed his flight after refusing to let security staff search his bag. What do you think was in there? [Mirror]
• James Jagger — son of Mick, with Jerry Hall as his mother — has landed his first film role. The 23-year-old is playing Alessandro Grimani, a pupil, in a biopic of the composer Vivaldi. [Telegraph]
• After she crashed her car and killed a woman two years ago, Brandy was super depressed. "There was a point when I didn't feel like it was OK to live on, because someone else lost their life," she says. "I really didn't know what to do. I was in limbo for a long time. I didn't go outside for months." [Page Six]
• Rapper Nas feels relevant because his album has a song called "Black President" on it. [Rolling Stone]
• RIP screenwriter John Michael Hayes (nominated for Academy Awards for Hitchcock's Rear Window and for Peyton Place), dead at age 89. [AP]
• "Some of the women who became my friends while I was incarcerated have visited with me. There are some very interesting women there of great value to society, and I keep in contact with them. We have some broken systems in this country - one is the prison system." — Martha Stewart. [Page Six]
• "People want to know what Van Damme is. I'm a mass-audience guy. When I go to Russia or Brazil, the people all come en masse, because I'm a guy from the people who made me famous, not the papers or the studios." — Jean-Claude Van Damme. [USA Today]
• "The way I see it is that Peaches [Geldof] is a very lost, sad little girl. And at one point I was like that, so I don’t want to judge. Instead of everyone picking on her, they should try to help. It’s all a bit sad to be honest with you. f she loves him then good for her, but if it was done for attention, it’s a bit sad. I did stuff like that when I was 19 as well, like get a tattoo because it pissed my mum off. It’s just a great big cry for help. Maybe all she needs is a hug." — Kelly Osbourne. [The Sun]
• "I think there is too much of it. You can't turn on the telly without somebody being judged by four people, whether they are on ice, or on the stage or in the jungle. I'm not very keen on it. I watch it — like everybody. It's compulsive viewing but so is a traffic accident. It doesn't encourage creativity." — Paul McCartney, on reality TV. [Telegraph]
• "Beyonce is great, so lovely and down to earth and talented. She’s definitely inspiring. I might go into acting like her if the right thing comes along, like a small movie part. I’m working on my clothing line." — Leona Lewis. [The Sun]
• "Actually I'm not in the tabloids anymore. I am sometimes, but I've watched the culture change. I'm old hat. And I love it. You know what it is with me? This is something I'd like to clarify. I've heard people say, 'Because you hide, it makes you seem ungrateful.' The mere fact that these - I'll use the word piles - are earning money from exploiting my image is the only reason I hide myself or am not a photo-friendly person. I do not like the way they conduct themselves. I think they're disrespectful and dangerous. The reason I don't pose or smile or that I seem mad is that I don't want them to make a living off my private life." — Leonardo DiCaprio on "boycotting" the paparazzi. [Daily Express]

• Britney's son Jayden reportedly had a seizure yesterday. Brit and the kids were in Kentwood, Louisiana, and the whole family rushed to the hospital in Mississippi. The two-year-old was kept over night for observation. [The Sun]
• William Balfour's current girlfriend has told police that he was involved in the killings of Jennifer Hudson's family. Will he be charged? [ET]
• William Balfour is in prison on a parole violation and may be released today. [Chicago Tribune]
• Lindsay Lohan on her love life in Bazaar: "I think it's pretty obvious who I'm seeing." When asked if she considers herself bisexual, LL said, "Maybe. Yeah." When asked if she's a lesbian, LL said, "No." Satisfied? [Page Six]

• Jennifer Aniston's rep has denied the rumor (and tabloid cover story) that she is pregnant. One magazine editor says: "She did lunch at the Ivy in a tight shirt? I mean, the Ivy? Usually Jen is above that sort of thing. She obviously knew she'd be photographed there. It makes you wonder if all of this press — hers and Brad's —is starting to get to her." [MSNBC]
• In this "30 Seconds With Justin Timberlake" interview, JT talks about golf, golf, and hitting golf balls. "Most of the Hollywood types that I know are not very good golfers." [NY Times]
• Is Peaches Geldof ready to divorce her husband? They've been married for 96 days. [Daily Mail]
• Peaches has a spokesperson, who says: "They have their ups and downs but at the moment Peaches and Max are still together and they are not getting divorced." [The Sun]
• Drew Barrymore was at a Vote No on Prop 8 protest, and told marchers, "I will fight with you!" [WOW Report]
• Beyoncé says: "I want to do a superhero movie and what would be better than Wonder Woman? It would be great. And it would be a very bold choice. A black Wonder Woman would be a powerful thing. It's time for that, right?" But aren't you busy being Sasha Fierce? [LA Times]
• Angelina Jolie says she'll do a film in February, then take a year-long break to be with her family, "and then one film a year, one film every three years, one film every six years. I’ll just, you know, fade away…" Sure, sure. [Times of London]
• Angelina on her twins: "They're great. They're still so little, but they do [have their own personalities]. They're starting to get very smiley. They're at that [stage] where their personality really starts to shine." [People]
• Brad Pitt will be on Oprah this month! Snippets from the interview have been leaked; he apparently confirms that more kids are coming ("Why stop now?") and says Shiloh is in a Peter Pan phase, and will only respond to the names "John" or "Peter." [Perez Hilton]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty have broken up, and Sienna is "seriously worried" about her acting career after being dropped from Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes flick. But! She did hang out with Leonardo DiCaprio and Josh Hartnett on Friday night and "swapped numbers" with Josh. [Daily Mail]
• Guess who's £35,000 richer? Sienna Miller: She reached an out of court settlement for an invasion of privacy action against The Sun and the News of the World for covering her alleged relationship with Balthazar Getty right after her breakup with Rhys Ifans. [Guardian]
• Guy Ritchie's dad is "pleased" about his son's split with Madonna. Cold! [Daily Express]
• Will Oprah's show end in 2011? She is working on the Oprah Winfrey Network, and after a while, she may only appear there and not on her syndicated talk show. There's something odd about a network called OWN, it's very possessive, no? [UPI]
• Kate Winslet, who never wears fur, posed on a silver fox rug for Vanity Fair, believing it was fake. It was real. Vanity Fair has apologized, saying "Although there were both real and fake furs on set, the fur used in the photograph is real. We thought Miss Winslet was aware of this and we're sorry for the miscommunication." Seems like the stylists just said what she wanted to hear. [Telegraph]
• Nicole Kidman will play the world's first post-operation transsexual in the Hollywood movie The Danish Girl. [UPI]
• Blake Fielder-Civil's been fitted with a electronic ankle bracelet, as part of the terms of his release from jail. Sorta late on that trend, huh? [The Sun]
• Hmm, the chick with whom Blake had some sleazy communication with while in jail has changed her Facebook status to say: "Sophie is celebrating the return of her sailor." Which means Blake. [Perez Hilton]
• Meanwhile, Amy Winehouse has called a lawyer, trying to protect her £10 million fortune from her junkie hubby. [Mirror]
• Lauren Conrad is moving beyond The Hills and focusing on her dating abuse campaign, m.powerment. [USA Today]
• Oh, Lauren Conrad pitched a fit after being paged at the airport; she thought people would start talking to her and bothering her. Guess what? No one cared. [Page Six]
• The first paragraph of this Salma Hayek story is all about her breasts. Then the writer recalls one night before the Oscars when Salma asked her stylist if anybody could see her "bush" through her gown. She's described as the Mexican Catherine Deneuve, as well as "Earth Mother. Movie star. Director. Producer. And now humanitarian" with a "Speedy Gonzales accent." [Times of London]
• Terri Seymour, Simon Cowell's ex, says their split shouldn't come as a surprise: "We didn't feel like a couple any more." [Mirror]
• Terri says she's going to miss Simon's mom the most. "I'll really miss Julie. She's a lovely lady and so much fun. When Simon and I split up she said to me 'you'll always be my little girl - I adore you.'" [Mirror]
• Meanwhile, Simon Cowell is "furious" with Mariah Carey, because she was supposed to appear on his X Factor show but kept contestants waiting for three hours. [Mirror]
• As for Mariah, she is "happier than she’s ever been" and says: "I feel great, it’s hard work to stay in shape but the results are worth it." She's on a 1,500 calorie-a-day diet and does two hours of cardio and sculpting every day. Fun! [Mirror]
• The Naked Cowboy has settled his lawsuit against M&Ms. Seems he may have gotten some cash. [UPI]
• Jewel, the singer who used to live in a van, is selling her $1.7 million Hollywood Hills home. Will she live on her ranch in Texas instead? [TMZ]
• Evan Rachel Wood says her breakup with Marilyn Manson was not over her brother living in the guest house: "Manson and I both decided to take some time apart so we could concentrate on work. Someone used that opportunity to kick us while we were down and sell a completely false story. Manson owns the house he lives in. My brother has never stayed there and the person that said such horrible things about Manson being 'controlling' and 'emotionally abusive' is certainly no source 'close' to me." [UPI, People]
• The journalist who caused Pink to storm out of an interview has resigned. Pink, ever subtle, says: "She's fucking insane." [News.com.au]
• Taylor Swift says there were people watching her shop at Victoria's Secret: "I look up and there are, like, 15 people looking at me, with camera phones out, waiting to take a picture of which kind of underwear I'm going to buy. 'Think she's a small or an extra small?' I wanted to be like, 'Uh, guys? I can hear you!'" [Page Six]
• Fred Armisen says playing Barack Obama is an intricate game: ''To me, it's like trying to figure out a Rubik's Cube or a puzzle. There are so many pieces to put together." [UPI]
• Residents of a Manhattan walk-up are begging their landlord to remove Ralph Turturro, brother of John, from the building. The cops have been called more than five times since he moved in in August; Ralph screams at all hours of the night and is "explosive." One neighbor says "It's sad, because he's a sick man." [NY Post]
• Paul McCartney would like to sing for Michelle Obama. He'd like to do hit song "Michelle," of course. [People]
• Pete Townshend is an Obama fan as well. [Reuters, Reuters]
• Speaking of Pete Townshend, the Who played a show in L.A. on Saturday. Roger Daltrey's voice was not exactly in shape, and he told the crowd: "My vocal chords kinda go to sleep after two days off." [Reuters]
• Russell Brand says the infamous radio broadcast that got him fired was actually the "toned down" version. Yikes! [BBC News]
• In a new book, Ted Turner says he and Jane Fonda did not break up because of her religion. Is that what you've heard? [Yahoo News]
• Sylvester Stallone is writing the script for a film called The Expendables, in which he'll star with Jason Statham and Jet Li. And maybe Forest Whitaker. Sly says: "Whereas the Oceans 11 films were an ensemble for good looking guys, this is an ensemble for ugly tough guys." Don't you be talking about The Statham! [UPI]
• Famed paparazzo Ron Galella has a new book coming out and says: "When I started it was one to one. Me and Jackie [O]. Me and Liz Taylor. I like glamour. I'm a romantic person. The photographers today… they go for bad pictures, cellulite. I think it's a negative thing." [Reuters]
• The hottest after-hours bash in Hollywood happens at Eddie Murphy's house. Party all the time, party all the tiiiime… [Page Six]
• More news about Robin Williams dating Aly Hilfiger's friend. [Daily Express]
• If you like Guitar Hero, Rock Band and KISS, you'll want the Gene Simmons Axe Guitar, which works with Playstation games. [Reuters]
• Haha, this story about Zac Efron contains the following line: "Zac was different from other kids… He liked musicals, not girls." Just what are you implying? [Mirror]
• Former teen heartthrob David Cassidy has advice for Zac Efron:
  "All I can say to Zac is that as long as he does good work, doesn't lose his mind and stays grounded as a human being, he'll be fine." [People]
• "Cloning - we got generations of that shit. The pyramids? They was for cloning. That's why embalming lasts so long. Get the DNA and pull 'em back. So somebody been cloned already, but not me. Not yet." — George Clinton. [Page Six]

The Good:
Elisabeth Rohm looks so pretty while pregnant! Also seems comfy in her equally pretty dress.
Jane Kaczmarek keeps it classy in a purple column.
I love January Jones' minimalist and playful dress. This is the exact right way to wear white.
Simon Cowell's main squeeze/Extra correspondent Terri Seymour kept it classy.

The Bad:
Angelica Huston: You are one of the greatest actresses of our time. Not a Vegas showgirl.
Did no one alert Christina Hendricks that her shapeless blob of a dress was the same shade as her skin?
This pattern and cut fails to flatter Ginnifer Goodwin.
If this were Project Runway, Nina Garcia would say that thought she liked the concept of Natasha Henstridge's dress, the execution was poor and the end-result cheap-looking. And I would agree with her.

The Ugly:
Remember that "disco hair-cutting smock" that Ricky made on the Project Runway wrestling challenge? How did Kristen Chenoweth get her hands on it?

[All images via Bauer-Griffin]