ANA MARIE: Good morning!

MEGAN: It does appear to be morning, but I am not going to make any promises about its "goodness" until I, like you, have gotten some caffeine in my system. Also, please type less loudly. Oh, wait, that's me.

ANA MARIE: Fun Jezebel meet up, huh?

MEGAN: Yes, but I was driving so drinking was minimized and then I got home and was like, hey, glass before bed! And it was a big glass. A really, really big glass.

ANA MARIE: That'll do it. Whereas the highlight of my evening was A RAHM SIGHTING.

MEGAN: In tights?

ANA MARIE: Sadly no. But he was with one of his equally brilliant brother, ZEKE, who arrived in the restaurant still wearing his lanyard nametag. Very dorky-cute. They had just been at this.

MEGAN: Oh, man, a conventioneer?

ANA MARIE: A very important powerful conventioneer:

"When it gets rough out there, a lot of business leaders get out of the car and say, 'We're OK with minor reform.' I'm challenging you today, we're going to have to do big, serious things," Rahm Emanuel said, speaking to The Wall Street Journal's CEO Council, a conference convened to elicit corporate opinion on the challenges facing the new president.

MEGAN: Also, I love how a CEO's top concern is card check. Fucking U.S. Chamber of Commerce. Like, hello, new Great Depression but you care whether Obama will veto card check? Hint, hint, dickwad, he won't.

ANA MARIE: (WSJ reports on Rahm's presence, this is how I know Zeke was there. ) This threw me a bit:

"The American people in two successive elections have voted for change, and change cannot be allowed to die on the doorsteps of Washington," Mr. Emanuel said.

Until i remembered that he counts 2006 as an election.

MEGAN: Ooh, Zeke works at NIH? And 2006 was Rahm's big victory, of course he thinks about it that way! But can we talk about the softer side of Rahm? :

According to notes taken by leadership aides, Mr. Emanuel choked up when he told the colleagues his decision to leave the Hill and join the Obama administration was "not an easy decision for me."

ANA MARIE: Eh, just because someone has a filthy mouth doesn't mean the waterworks are broken. You and I should know!

MEGAN: I don't cry, I just have something in my contact lens. Even when I'm wearing my glasses.

ANA MARIE: So are you stone hearted or just not much of a crier? And I think that is a great segue to Hillary! Are you tired of talking about her yet? Will doing it again actually bring you to tears?

MEGAN: No, that is exactly how I deal with stuff when I "have something in my eye!" Segue! The whole situation in which she's saying she might not want it really makes me wonder what Clinton was doing jetting around in Air Fuck One.

ANA MARIE: The name says it all. Given all the rumors and speculation floating around, I think I trust Ambinder's take on the situation (Hillary's, not Bill's... or rather, not THAT Bill situation).

MEGAN: Okay, best line in the piece:

On the other hand, it is conceivable that President Obama would hand Sen. Clinton a ticket with the words "Middle East Peace" printed on it, and say: "Go," giving Clinton the flexibility and transitive authority to secure her place in history.

That would be nice.

ANA MARIE: On the other hand, there's this:

She would be Secretary of State in an administration dominated by other foreign policy heavyweights. She will wonder where Joe Biden fits in to all of this; the two senators are collegial and competitive. There is some angst with Joe Biden's circle of confidants about Clinton's serving as Secretary of State. It is not clear whether Biden himself shares the angst.

MEGAN: If Joe Biden wanted to be SecState, he should not have accepted the VP slot.

ANA MARIE: I suspect Biden thought that VP would be like SecStatePLUS.

MEGAN: Welcome to the Greater Depression, Joe Biden, when you get to have a domestic policy function. But if Ambinder is right and the whole thing is collegial and proceeding apace, why all the leaks that she's not gonna do it?

ANA MARIE: Because you can be collegial about vetting and still not be sure you're gonna do it. And we still don't know what the vetting has turned up.

MEGAN: Well, and that's what I meant about what was going on on Air Fuck One. Is it the 'stans? The investments? The foreign donors at the library?

ANA MARIE: Well if everyone is being all discreet as they say, we may never know — Hillary's ambivalence could be a cover for making a graceful exit after they find out that Bill was banging a Pakastani tranny. Or accepting money from a Pakastani warlord. Which is maybe more likely.

MEGAN: Yeah, because I think transvestites are more of an Afghani thing. I have listened to a lot of people talk about homosexuality in Afghanistan over the last year. I'm starting to think people want to do more than fuck OBL up (i.e., down, sideways, back and forth, etc.).

ANA MARIE: Everyone needs a hobby

MEGAN: Especially Ted Stevens now.

ANA MARIE: I understand he makes gigantic fish sculptures in his spare time. Presumably they will become truly gargantuan now. Do you continue to live in Alaska if you don't have to? That's my question.

MEGAN: Mike Gravel says: no. His wife says, aw hell no.

ANA MARIE: I'm not sure if Gravel is the best source on the subject of sane behavior.

MEGAN: Well, what politician from Alaska is?

ANA MARIE: I hope the new guy!

MEGAN: Good luck with that. Begich winning does mean that if they can pull it out in Minnesota (decent odds) and then Georgia (unlikely), the Dems will have their filibuster-proof majority if Lieberman doesn't shank them again. Which he will, 'cause he's Lieberman and now has no fear.

ANA MARIE: Yeah, that is what it means! And I think Lieberman is probably more of a pussy than you think.

MEGAN: I'm sure he's less of a pussy than Harry Reid, but that ain't saying much.

ANA MARIE: Harry Reid, the boxing pussy.

MEGAN: Some dudes do think pussy is a competitive sport.

ANA MARIE: And that boxing is as well. Did you see Bill Kristol is "ambivalent" about keeping his New York Times column?

MEGAN: Man, what a copycat. He sees Hillary playing the expectation-management game and then hops on board? Yeah, Bill, everyone knows you're going to be out on your ass when the contract's up, you should've been ambivalent in, like, January.

ANA MARIE: Or more ambivalent about Sarah Palin! His ambivalence is widely misplaced

MEGAN: A lot of things about Bill Kristol are misplaced. Like any rational thought.

ANA MARIE: In an interview with the New York Observer, he says he's actually only met Palin twice. Which could explain a lot!

MEGAN: Oh, right, like he couldn't have fallen in political love in two meetings? That hair, those eyes, her lips, those thighs and drill, baby, drill? He probably had stronger tingles in his leg for her than Chris Matthews did for Obama.

ANA MARIE: I'm sure Chris Matthews would disagree. Oh, and speaking of Chris Matthews: BEST SENATE RACE OF 2010. Unless, you know, Keith Olbermann takes his competitive streak to New Jersey

MEGAN: Oh, God, that will be so amazing. Has Specter even confirmed he's running yet? Could it be an open seat? Can I be THAT lucky?

ANA MARIE: I totally made up that KO thing, btw. Like, that isn't even a rumor, people. I want to spell that out because I think that it was just such a remark that might give us Sen. Franken.

MEGAN: Yeah, unless Olbermann decides to take on Corzine in the primary for the gubernatorial race, he can't run for Senate for a while yet. That said, can you imagine the smear campaign? The heart races.

ANA MARIE: Every campaign ad would be a SPECIAL COMMENT, with lots of chair spinning.

MEGAN: Hey, remember how al Qaeda endorsed McCain and all the conservatives were like, it's psychological warfare! They really are endorsing Obama? Well, no, it turns out, they really were into McCain. Oh, and Ayman al-Zawahri thinks Obama is a race traitor and a — I swear — "house negro." He's also pissed that Obama has "abandoned his Muslim faith."

ANA MARIE: al-Zawahri reads too many right wing blogs.

• Barack Obama will officially resign his Senate seat on Sunday, one day before Congress reconvenes for its lame duck session. Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich has 60 days to appoint a successor to serve until a special election in 2010, but hasn't signaled who he's leaning towards. [Washington Post]
• In the meantime, Obama might go to Georgia to stump for Jim Martin in his run-off race to bump Saxby Chambliss from Max Cleland's old Senate seat. [Huffington Post]
• He's also not sure he likes any of the dudes he hasn't admitted he's considering to be Secretary of State so he's considering... Hillary Clinton. This might or might not be more serious consideration than he gave to the idea of her being his VP. [NY Times]

• The GOP, too, is unsure of things, like whether to kick convicted, corrupt Senator Ted Stevens out of the Republican conference and/or the Senate. All hail the idiocracy! [The Hill]
• Al Gore is sure of one thing: he isn't going to the White House in an Obama Administration. [CNN]
• And it seems increasingly sure that Connecticut Senator Joe "Turncoat" Lieberman will keep his committee chairmanship because no one wants to be mean to Cotton-Eye Joe. [Huffington Post]
• The Bush Administration is pretty sure that it's going to veto the Democrats' auto-industry bailout bill, but Senator Chris Dodd is pretty sure it won't pass anyway. [Washington Post, NY Times]
• Rahm Emanuel definitely knows he's sorry for his dad's remarks about Arabs. [Politico]
• Sarah Palin gave a press conference today and managed to take 4 whole big-girl questions and not actually say a word. So I'm pretty sure nothing's really changed. [Daily Beast]

MEGAN: In the annals of "Megan is a tremendous dork," last night is sort of epic. It's so epic I even remember enough of it to be blushing over it. Yes, I can blush.

SPENCER: I understand this has something to do with actor Justin Long?

MEGAN: Actor and long-time Megan crush object Justin Long, who I have thought was completely dorkishly adorable since Ed. Yes. So, I am sitting in the bar that I have co-opted from Moe as my Official New York hang out, having drinks with a lovely woman I just met because the person I went there with bailed for another bar, which naturally meant I decided I should get 3 more glasses of wine. And in walks Justin Long with a group of people. And I am subsequently prevailed upon to take pictures with him to post here, which I did. Also, for the record, he apparently has been savaged by bloggers (I will cut you Perez for being mean to him) so I had to promise not to be mean about him. So I have to say: extremely cute, extremely sweet (he made his friend take a picture that made me look not stupid) and extremely generous with his time. And then I woke up this morning and went "Oh, fuck, I think I just met an actor I've had a crush on for years and told him that."

So now I feel a combination of embarrassed at my dorkdom and dorkishly thrilled that I had the liquid courage to do it.

SPENCER: I grew up in New York and yet never saw or met any non-punk-rock celebrities. Once Kathleen Hanna sent a minion to bum a cigarette from me but that was about it. (And of course fewer people are more PR than KH.) The burning question is whether you hit on him and, if so, what happened.

MEGAN: I believe I completely wussed out on actually hitting on him, recalling vaguely that he is supposedly seeing someone that I'm sure is way hotter than me. Honestly, even more hilariously, I had been saying at dinner that I had never seen a celebrity in the wild and then, 3 hours later, I was embarrassing myself. But I really felt like the only picture on my phone of me with a celebrity should not be me with Bill Kristol.

SPENCER: Sadly my AIM client doesn't save chats because I wanted to post here your 11:45 IM to me about meeting JL and my advice to you, which I believe consisted simply of the word "bone." But alas. I suppose we should talk about politics or some shit, yawn

MEGAN: Oooh, ooh, I can relate this ALL to politics! Obama is a Mac user. A big one.

SPENCER: Of course, it should be said that you're not a Mac user. This whole shit is starcrossed. You're like a McCain voter who blows John Hodgman.

MEGAN: I am not a Mac user because I am way too cheap, not because I actually like PCs. But I just can't justify paying that much more for basically the same machine because it's pretty. Anyway, I can totally relate it another way to politics! The last time I met a crush object was at the White House Correspondents dinner, when I met Jonathan from Buffy aka Danny Strong (also resulting in an embarrassing photo of me grinning like an idiot) who wrote the movie Recount in which Ron Klain is the hero. Ron Klain, who will be Biden's Chief of Staff, assuming Cheney doesn't lock him in the man-safe when Biden checks out his new digs today.

SPENCER: That confused me. Wasn't Ron Klain Gore's chief of staff? Can he not tear himself away from VPs? Still, Biden needs a really disciplined staff leader. I once did an on-the-record interview with him in his Senate office while his communications director actually undermined his points on policy. This was about his Iraq position. It was crazy. And goddamn it, the Big Star record just ended...

MEGAN: Yeah, Joe seems like the kind of guy who would tolerate underminers when he shouldn't. Speaking of underminers, let us all just say together: fuck Evan Bayh.

SPENCER: I have nothing to say except KTHXBAYH Now let's talk about the shit that we agreed to talk about. Like Ted Stevens and how he might actually lose the Senate race everyone thought he won. Currently the corrupt/convicted Senator is down by 814 votes to Democrat Mark Begich.

MEGAN: But, but, but, how will Sarah Palin ever get to be a maverick changing Washington if Begich wins? What will we talk about! Why is Ted Stevens trying to ruin my life?

SPENCER: Half of me wants Stevens to lose. But that's the better half. The cool, smoking-in-the-boys-room half wants him to return to the Senate, since, according to the Washington Independent's Congressional correspondent Mike Lillis, both Reid and McConnell have said they'll immediately begin proceedings to kick him out, Traficant-style, and that's a party.

MEGAN: McConnell's only promising to do it so he doesn't lose a Minority Leader race to Jim DeMint.

SPENCER: You get your Senator Palin in that case, plus everyone lining up to pretend they didn't kiss Ted Stevens' mottled behind for appropriations.

MEGAN: Wow, I just imagined that and now I really don't need to eat breakfast!

SPENCER: Also let's recognize: Robert Byrd has just stepped down as head of approps, meaning Alaska Sen. Daniel Inouye is now chairman, and his son is DC punk-rock legend Ken Inouye of Marginal Man.

MEGAN: I mean, I literally had a momentary mental vision of Ted Stevens, pants around his ankles, bent over his desk in the Senate with a line of his Republican colleagues spread out before him as Lindsay Graham enthusiastically puckers up. Yeah, I'm glad Byrd stepped down as chair, but Inouye is barely younger. I think, though, that he might be the first non-white guy to chair Senate Approps ever.

SPENCER: This is going to be worse than the time we talked about bukkake in CH if you don't watch yourself I know! A white man can't get a fair shake in Obama's America.

MEGAN: I am having one of those days again, what can I say? You bring out the vulgarity in me, baby.

SPENCER: See, it's shit like that in IMs that would deny you a job in an Obama administration

[Applicants] must include any e-mail that might embarrass the president-elect, along with any blog posts and links to their Facebook pages.

The application also asks applicants to "please list all aliases or 'handles' you have used to communicate on the Internet."

MEGAN: Yeah, usually the line is whether anything you've said could be used to blackmail you. President Elect Obama: I am an embarrassment, but you could hire me anyway if you want.

SPENCER: This is kind of inexplicable and against the spirit of transmuted social conventions that the internet was supposed to guarantee. Everyone under the age of 35 has humiliated themselves through text or IM or FB or Twitter or other such platform. That's supposed to make none of it humiliating, on the same principle that when girls want ice cream they demand that I eat ice cream too because they believe that weight is socially cumulative so if I gain weight too then their weight-gain is immaterial. I mean, I thought Obama was supposed to be a Mac user. What does he write on the internet, if not something humiliating?

MEGAN: I have never demanded that you eat dessert just because I wanted to eat dessert! Mostly because I never eat dessert, but still. Not all girls do that! I mean the problem is not whether you've humiliated yourself, but whether it might humiliate him. It's more like the friend who tries to talk you out of eating the ice cream because she's so hyper about her weight that she's decided to be hypercritical of yours.

SPENCER: Speaking of erratic behavior, this WaPo piece about how Iran is pussying out of Obama's proposed no-conditions talks is the greatest thing of all time. So basically, the fanatics who run Iran have demagoged the U.S.'s hostile posture for 30 years as a mechanism for social repression, all the while insisting baroquely to any & all international audiences that the U.S. won't take reasonable steps for discussion on issues of mutual concern. Along comes Barack Obama, who's like, Let's cut the bullshit and act like adults for a change and talk this out. And the Iranian reaction?

"People who put on a mask of friendship, but with the objective of betrayal, and who enter from the angle of negotiations without preconditions, are more dangerous," Hossein Taeb, deputy commander of Iran's Revolutionary Guard Corps, said Wednesday, according to the semiofficial Mehr News Agency.

MEGAN: "You're trying to trick us by talking!"

SPENCER: AND HE'S RIGHT. It is more dangerous from his perspective, because Obama is denying the Iranian regime a crucial excuse for its failures. The absence of American bellicosity creates massive social and political cognitive dissonance.

MEGAN: "We know you're just talking to us again to undermine us!" Iran's like the ex who built his reputation around how you're the bad one who dumped him and won't speak to him and then you're like, wtf, dude, I don't care, we can chill, and he doesn't want to.

SPENCER: Now, if you go through the piece, you can come up with an explanation of Iranian behavior that basically cashes out to demanding comprehensive talks for a grand bargain. Which, from the perspective of smart Iran-watchers who had to quit the Bush administration in disgust, wouldn't even be a bad thing! Google ads have made an ad pop up on the Windy that features a big-titted Iranian girl with suggestively-parted lips.

MEGAN: Does the grand bargain mean they stop building nukes? Also, I think you need to screen cap that.

SPENCER: And yeah, the plan put forward by husband-and-wife national-security team Flynt and Hilary Mann Leverett calls for security guarantees to Iran in exchange for a verifiable end to the nuclear program and Iranian cooperation on Iraq and Israel/Palestine Not bad, eh? Kind of the sort of shit we should test out, no?

MEGAN: Can Iran cooperate on Israel? But, yes, that would be Change I Could Believe In. It's at least Change I Would Like To Try Out.

SPENCER: It would depend on what "cooperation" would mean, and how long it takes to get there. Basically, for the next couple years, I'd think "cooperation" means Iran drops its position that Israel has no right to exist and stops its military aid to Hamas & Hezbollah. Will they? Maybe, maybe not, but you've got to test it, and no policy has failed as comprehensively as the 30-year bipartisan consensus on isolating Iran, since Iran is the strongest it's ever been. Anyway we should end this shit and you should post the picture you sent me of Justin Long.

MEGAN: Yeah, I've decided to be a bad person and do it. I will preface that it's entirely possible that I stepped on his feet and that's why he's looking down.

Is 'Senator Palin' A Possibility? [The Rachel Maddow Show]

• Though Barack obama told Americans nothing about forthcoming nominations, that doesn't mean there's nothing to speculate about! John Kerry, Chris Dodd and Bill Richardson are lead speculative Secretary of State candidates, Robert Gates might stay at the Defense Department, Janet Napolitano could be headed to Justice and former eBay executive Steve Westly, the Governator or Kathleen Sebelius could end up at DOE. Discuss at your leisure — Obama certainly is. [CNN, Politico]
• The President-Elect has included sexual orientation and gender identity in his non-discrimination pledge on hiring, which is awesome. [ACLU]
• Harry Reid is a little pissed about Connecticut Senator Joe Lieberman's Obama-bashing during his balls-out support of John McCain this election season — to say nothing of his current flirtation with Mitch McConnell and the GOP caucus. He is thinking of allowing the Democratic caucus to strip Lieberman of his committee chair, which Lieberman calls "unacceptable" and everyone else calls "no less than he deserves." [CNN, Huffington Post]
• Unlike the obstreperous Lieberman, Appropriations Committee Chairman Robert Byrd is stepping aside as chairman because he's confident of the new Democratic majority and, likely, because of his continuing ill health. Sadly, this means no more "barbaric" speeches. [The Hill, YouTube]

• In what may be the most disturbing charitable donation of all time, some of the clothing items the Palins need to return to the RNC include Todd's silk boxers. And you thought her plane left skid marks when it left Phoenix! [Washington Post]
• To counter that image, Sarah Palin's going to do an interview with Greta Van Susteren. Nope, don't think that image is getting out of my head regardless, sorry. [LA Times]
• Right-wing South Carolina Senator Jim DeMint is pissed that McConnell isn't going to expel Senate Ted "McBribe-y" Stevens from the Senate during the lame duck session. Yes, Virginia, some Republicans do have principles. [Politico]
• The best quote that ever has been said or ever will be said about Rahm Emanuel: "Emanuel, on the other hand, is a drama queen; seething, foaming Mamet production; a big mouth; and a calculating mensch who loves nothing more than to stoke the feed bag for press-corps noshers." Oh, this is going to be an epic White House. [Politico]
• Obama's aunt — who the right-wingers discovered far too late has overstayed her deportation order — has decided to fight in court for the right to remain in the U.S. She's not in great health, reportedly, which would seem like humanitarian grounds to let her stay but our immigration system isn't exactly known for being humanitarian in nature. [MSNBC]
• Neither are Americans, two of whom in New Jersey set a cross ablaze on the lawn of an Obama supporter. Racism: officially no longer confined to The South. Please make a note of it. [Editor & Publisher]
• In slightly better news, there is talk about automatically registering every eligible citizen to vote and expanding early voting so that this ACORN-caging-voter challenges nonsense can finally just end. God, how awesome would that be? [NY Times]

• Sarah Palin feels the press should be forced to report about her in a certain way to avoid abridging her First Amendment rights. Add the actual First Amendment to Article I, Section 3 of the Constitution on the list of Constitutional amendments Sarah Palin is planning when she is Empress of America. [Huffington Post, U.S. Constitution]
• If you needed any other reasons to vote against McCain-Palin, Politico's list of Cabinet officials should help. It's got Dick Armitage for Secretary of State, Lindsay Graham for Secretary of Defense, Rudy Giuliani for Attorney General (!) and Randy "Biggest Asshole In the Universe" Scheunemann as National Security Advisor. And you thoughT Palin was a bad pick. [Politico]
• By contrast, their list of potential Administration officials for Obama reads like a liberal's wet dream. [Politico]
• Hey, while you weren't looking, Bush has been sneaking around trying to push controversial deregulation to "ease" consumer and environmental protections. Fuck. [Washington Post]

• Former Reagan Chief of Staff-turned-lobbyist Ken Duberstein jumped on the Hope train, citing Colin Powell's endorsement and the fact that "Even at McDonalds, you're interviewed three times before you're given a job." as his reasons. Oh, snap. [Politico]
• Larry Eagleburger today got a first hand experience with what McCain doesn't consider torture after saying that Palin would only be "adequate" if she had to play President. His balls will be returned to him shortly by Mark Salter, but his self-respect, well, that ain't ever coming back. [Talking Points Memo]
• Republican Senator Saxby Chambliss — who proved in 2002 that he never had any when he attacked decorated Vietnam veteran and multiple amputee, Senator Max Cleland, for lacking in patriotism — told a group of predominately white voters that they had to get to the polls because "The other folks are voting." Oh, and he didn't even try to pretend he wasn't talking about his African-American constituents, either, not that he probably considers them that. [Huffington Post]
• In other batshit crazy Republican news, Alaska Senator Ted Stevens, recent convicted of 7 felony charges stemming from gifts he accepted, went home to Alaska and told everyone he wasn't convicted. Um, I think they have the news up there, Ted. Sarah Palin said so. Looks like someone is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. [Politico]
• Oh, and Senator Liddy Dole's got a new ad attacking oppOnent Kay Hagan's supposed godlessness. I'm guessing she won't be getting a job running a non-partisan, non-profit charity when she hopefully loses. [Firedoglake]

• Alaska Senator Ted Stevens was convicted today of all 7 counts he faced related to not reporting gifts on his Senate financial disclosure forms. He's up for re-election but most sources agree he's unlikely to do time. [CNN]
• The ATF foiled a half-assed plot by a bunch of psycho skinheads to kill a bunch of African-American high schoolers and assassinate Barack Obama. Because, you know, then everyone would be on their side or something. [Huffington Post]
• In other dumb ideas, a GOP group is running $2.5 million worth of Reverend Wright ads in swing states this week. As TNR's Michael Crowley points out, please note how the word "hate" turns into "God" in the middle. Subtle! [The New Republic]
• At a Palin rally in Iowa this weekend, one of her supporters gave up on using subtle terms like "terrorist" or "traitor" or "socialist" or "communist" and loudly expressed why she thinks people shouldn't vote for Obama: "n*****." Palin, naturally, stumbled in her speech but didn't say a word and neither did the crowd. [YouTube]

• A bunch of hateful racist asswipes tore down the sign marking the location in Tallahatchie County, Mississippi where authorities recovered Emmett Till's body in 1955. Emmett Till was the 14-year-old victim of a vicious, racist attack for which the two white guys who admitted to it were later acquitted by an all-white jury. Police think the racist vandals might have chucked the sign in the river. What the fuck is wrong with people? [MSNBC]
• Just in case you didn't know, the bullshit line of the religious groups trying to get Proposition 8 passed in California is that it will be the end of religious freedom because it will force them to marry gay people. Of course, Catholics churches can refuse to marry non-Catholics and every other religion can impose rules and whatever, but logic is totes overrated. [NY Times]
• Oh, and the Yes on Prop 8 hatemongers are attempting to blackmail California businesses into supporting their cause by threatening to expose their tolerance to homophobes that would boycott them. [KFMB]
• A self-identifying Republican launched a series of robocalls against incumbent Republican Mike Thompson inspired by phone sex. It's, um, creepy. [Huffington Post]
• The lady who survived her mother's attempt to abort her has another anti-Obama ad up. If you thought McCain was condescending in the debates, try her on for size. [Politico]
• But 7 members of the cast of The Wire are going to be campaigning for Obama in North Carolina tomorrow. That's about all I got for uplifting news, sorry.

MOE: Ohhhhh mann, I'm still like on Seattle time or something
MEGAN: I'm on "got home at midnight after an 8 hour drive" fog.
MOE: What should we talk about? Yikes!
MEGAN: Oh, see, I was going to suggest that we talk about how Alaskan Republican Senator Ted "Series of Tubes" Stevens was indicted on 7 counts yesterday, but fetish hookers is way more prurient. Also, rumors around the courts here in D.C. is that touchy-feely ass-grabbing Congressman Don Young is next. Actually, that's just been the rumor for a while, but doesn't it sound cooler when I semi-source it?
MOE: Isn't just the fact that Alaska has two senators corruption in itself?
MEGAN: Well, they do have a whole 100,000 more people than Washington, DC, so of course they deserve 2 Senators and a Congressman and D.C. shouldn't get either.
Geek moment: Did you know that there are more people in Hawai'i than Alaska? Like, almost twice as many.
MOE: Yes. Does that surprise you? Any more than, like, this? Oh god I need coffee.
MEGAN: Back to Stevens, the most hilarious thing of all is that they couldn't charge him with bribery because sometimes he just took the lavish gifts from Veco and told them to fuck off! It's sort of like how Congressmen and Senators feel about campaign contributions only flashier (now including a Land Rover and a Viking Grill!).
As a white resident of upstate New York, I particularly like this statement of Sharpton's:

"We have all made mistakes. We have all erred, and we ought not try to sugar coat when we err."

Oh, really, Al?
MOE: The Ted Stevens thing reminds me of when I used to cover Nike for the Journal, and the guys from SLAM just couldn't figure out why I wasn't allowed to take free shoes. "Sure, it's bribery, but when EVERYONE bribes you you're still objective!"
MEGAN: "As long as you 'slam' them later," right? (Apologies for the bad but necessary pun).Speaking of apologies...
MOE: Jesus this totally makes the AMA's timing look COMPLETELY NORMAL!

In February, the Senate apologized for atrocities committed against Native Americans, and the body apologized in 2005 for standing by during a lynching campaign against African Americans throughout much of the past century. Twenty years ago, Congress apologized for interning Japanese Americans in concentration camps during World War II.

MEGAN: Well, you know, they're really, really worried about reparations. That's, like, a completely legitimate concern.
MOE: As I'm sure is the fact that there is a lot in those Jim Crow laws some Americans still would like to resurrect! Sorry, that's a year old, but I didn't remember it until today.
MEGAN: Luckily for Jonah and at the behest of plenty of Republican state governments, states are passing government-ID laws to make it more difficult for people to vote, especially poor people. You heard, right, that the first people fucked over by that law were a bunch of nuns and students? But it was the Democratic primary, so that was the intention, anyway, to keep Democrats from voting, so hooray Indiana for designing a law that actually works as it was intended. Sort of hooray. More like, um, FUCK YOU Mitch Daniels. Cialis was marketed under his tenure at Lilly, by the way. You knew he was a pharmaceutical company exec before he was OMB Director before he was Governor of Indiana, right?
MOE: Uh no but doesn't that just make this world make a little more sense! That and this guy. Um I just blew some of my literacy reading this. Also, is it just me or is it surprising that nuns of all people would not have their IDs ready? I know they probably don't get carded too often, but isn't it in the nun personality type?
MEGAN: But why would they need an ID? And, yes, OMG, can we please, please, please stop dumbing Michelle Obama down so that people think she's more like them? Please? It makes my brain hurty. Oh, and did you see that the International Olympics Committee negotiated a secret deal with the Chinese to limit journalists' internet access?
MOE: God everytime I think I know how full of shitheads the IOC is I am proved wrong. Who are these IOC officials anyway? Hey, maybe there's a job for Mitt Romney!
MEGAN: Someone's got to give him on eventually if McCain won't. His hair is too bulletproof to retire.
MOE: So $15,000 a month is Rielle Hunter's hush money . I feel like we should do a poll on how much you'd ask if you'd been knocked up by a filthy rich presidential candidate. I think fifteen grand is good, because there's not a whole lot an unimaginative person like myself can't do on that money, but it's not so disgusting people will question her genuine love for the bastard. But hey, where's the "real father" Andrew Young in all of this?
MEGAN:Apparently, getting paid off by the same middleman! That's $180,000 a year, or, if it continues at the same rate, $3.24 million over the next 18, not including tuition. I don't think I'll make $3 million in the next 18 years. Also, can we just discuss how exactly the Enquirer knew that Rielle was in the hotel, whose name she checked in under and when Edwards would show? Because between that and the news that she's negotiating a paid interview, I don't think the "hush" part of the money is working.