• Someone broke into Kourtney Kardashian's home on Saturday night, taking thousands of dollars worth of jewelry. Hollywood: Step up your security! [TMZ]

• As you may know, there's been a rash of burglaries involving young stars this year: Paris Hilton, Audrina Patridge, Hayden Panettiere, Lindsay Lohan and Rachel Bilson's homes have all been broken into in the last 10 months. Oh, and Orlando Bloom was burglarized, too. [People]
• Meanwhile, Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush are back together, and things are going well: "We just made the decision that we want to make it work, and the time off was really beneficial for the both of us," KK says. "I think sometimes people need to take a break just to take time off to see how much they need each other and how much they really are compatible." [People]
• Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom now have a prenup. He'll keep the $33 million he makes in his 4 year contract with the Lakers. Khloe will get an annual lump sum, which will not go up or down throughout the marriage; and the two will have a joint account. Romantic! [TMZ]
• Hug your neighborhood Goth: Trent Reznor got married on Saturday. [E!]
• Beyoncé has postponed a concert in Malaysia; female performers there must be covered from shoulders to knees, with no cleavage showing. Time to rethink that "Single Ladies" leotard. [AP]
• Lindsay Lohan "shocked" people by being "in control all night" at a party. [Page Six]
• Courtney Love failed to show up in court on Thursday in a case involving Elite Maids and non-payment; the judge ruled against Courtney and she needs to write a check to the cleaning service for $3,058.48. [TMZ]
• Headline of the day: "Paris Hilton Lands Movie Role, Demands Lobsters." [Page Six]
• Stephanie Pratt was arrested for suspicion of driving under the influence early Sunday morning in Hollywood. She'd just left Holly Montag's birthday party and apparently didn't arrange for a designated driver. [TMZ]
• Stephanie Pratt was "cooperative" and there were no issues with her arrest. She was taken into custody at 3:45 am and released at 10:30 am. [People]
• Here's a picture of Stephanie partying before her DUI. What's with the tongues? [TMZ]
• Liz Taylor took Michael Jackson's three kids to a theme park on Friday. From her wheelchair, she watched the children go on rides and enjoy the Halloween Horror Nights event. [Daily Express]
• By the by, Liz Taylor saw the new Michael Jackson documentary, This Is It at a special secret screening. Word is: She loved it and thought it was "brilliant." [Showbiz 411]
• "Michael Jackson's embattled physician, Dr. Conrad Murray, is quietly trying to sell his story." [Rush & Molloy]
• Susan Boyle must have liked the makeover she got from Harper's Bazaar: She used the images from that photo shoot as cover art for her album. [WWD]
• Kelly Bensimon flashed folks at a fête: "Raising her arm to wave goodbye, the Real Housewives star 'accidentally' revealed she was 'commando.'" [Page Six]
• Expect Josh Brolin's performance in Wall Street 2 to be Donald Trump-inspired. [Page Six]
• "The octomom's doctor has been expelled from the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the main infertility professional organization." Nadya Suleman has said that her physician, Michael Kamrava, transferred six embryos, which exceeds the ASRM's guidelines. [USA Today]
• Did you know that Jon Hamm auditioned for the role of Jack Donaghy on 30 Rock? [Reader's Digest]
• "Madonna's 'Hung Up,' in which she dances provocatively in a pink leotard, has been voted the least sexy music video of all time." [Telegraph]
• You guys, stop talking about how Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy might be broken up. She says: "I'm not going to lie – it's not annoying, it's hurtful. Because he is like the most awesome person." And! "We are just trying to be really happy. It makes it hard to do that when everybody is putting negative energy out there." [ONTD]
• Guess what Susan Sarandon is going to be for Halloween? Think "Touch-a Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me"! [Page Six]
• Cameron Diaz stars in sci-fi thriller The Box, based on a 1970 short story and adapted and directed by the twisted genius behind Donny Darko, Richard Kelly. At 37, she gets asked about the quality of roles for women over 40, and says: "I'm not 40 yet and I don't know what I am going to want. I'm certainly not sitting here worrying about where I am going to be at, I am just making the most out of the life I am living as I have been doing all along." [News.com.au]
• Conan O'Brien and Newark mayor Cory Booker have ended their feud. Sort of. There's now a joke jar: jar. "Every time I made a joke about Newark… $500 would go into that joke jar," says Conan. Yet he adds: "You can rest assured that the money is safe, because the jar isn't in Newark." [NY Daily News]
• Gaga Ooh La La! New Lady Gaga song! Click to hear. [ONTD]
• Martha Stewart's deal with Kmart is dead. Long live Martha Stewart's deal with Home Depot. [NY Times]
• Nas has tax issues. [TMZ]
• Where The Wild Things Are made a monstrous $32.5 million at the box office. [AP]
• So you know how some dresses have little plastic straps inside for more stability on a hanger? And sometimes the straps pop out from under your armpits and look unsightly? Whitney Houston's dress straps broke while she was on TV. [The Sun]
• Monty Python: The Original Kings Of Gore. [Newsweek]
• Dan Aykroyd's father has a new book called A History of Ghosts: The True Story of Séances, Mediums, Ghosts and Ghostbusters; Dan has written the forward and says: "I've had to sell some really bad movies in my time, so it's great when you can get behind a good product." [USA Today]
• Someone paid $15,000 for a clump of Elvis' hair. [AP]
• Ted Danson upon meeting Dave Chappelle: "You are like a hero in my family." After the meeting: "Wow. That was cool. That was my claim to hip right there. That's my only claim to hip." [LA Times]
• Do red carpets make you nervous? Or the paparazzi? 
"Horribly nervous. The red-carpet thing is more of a problem. I had braces when I was a teenager and taught myself not to smile. I never deprogrammed myself from that. When they're shouting 'Smile!' I get nervous. You don't want to see my smile." Are you on Facebook? "I left Facebook. People contact you and they're out of your life, and I don't know why they want to come back in. It's weird." — from a Q&A with An Education's Carey Mulligan. [Newsweek]
• Def Leppard has canceled the last segment of its North American tour — 23 shows — "due to unforeseen personal matters." [USA Today]
• "When I was 11, I auditioned for the part of Joseph in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat at school. I didn't go to an all-girls school, but the boys didn't want to do theater: the girls could then play the boys. I remember that I didn't get the part of Joseph and I was really upset. They cast me as the Pharaoh, and I remember doing an Elvis impression as the Pharaoh. I had this one moment when I realized that the Pharaoh part was actually more interesting than Joseph's. And, in some ways, that set the tone for my career. For me, it's often better to play the great character than the lead." — Samantha Morton. Click through for gorgeous photo shoot. [T Magazine]
• "He's one of the very few completely brilliant directors that I've worked with. There aren't really very many, I have to say, or it's a shame to say. To be an artist in terms of what you see and what you want to feel out of each scene, a kind of master of the technique and the technicalities of filmmaking, and a master of directing actors, which is usually the one that's missing — there are many who have no idea how to speak or to pull good work out of actors — is very rare. Roman was all those things." — Ewan McGregor on Roman Polanski, who directed The Ghost, in which Ewan stars. [LA Times]
• "The best part for me now is that I think for the first nine months mom is so essential. When they start hanging out with dad more you're like, 'Wow I feel like a dad.' You go to music class and do fun stuff together, it's cool. It makes me realize all of the little things that my dad sacrificed when he had me. It's sad it took 30 years but I totally realize it now." — Pete Wentz on fatherhood. [UPI via People]
• "When I was away [in prison], I wrote a lot of stuff, which will be released next year. I wrote a diary and songs. I got into trouble because I wrote on the wall: 'Some things are past understanding, you just need a place to land.' It was part of a lyric. I actually wrote a song about Amy [Winehouse] when I was in prison." — Boy George. [Daily Express via The Times of London]
• "I'll be honest: When I went on that morning show, I was drunk. Yes, I was on sleeping pills and I was jet-lagged, but I was also just plastered. And I never said I wasn't, but that whole Warner Bros. publicity machine got involved and said, 'Just say he was jet-lagged.' I said, 'No, tell 'em the truth! I was fucking drunk in Australia. Big deal.'" — John Stamos, in reference to his bizarre appearance on Mornings with Kerri-Ann in 2007. [Us Magazine]
• "I think I underestimated the way people bracket you. I thought I could wear what I wanted and be an actress and live my life in a certain way, and it would all be all right. I feel we live in the kind of culture now where you have to be very smart to navigate the right way, and I just don't have those smarts. I think with age and time it will change, but I can't obsess about it… This is what I have always wanted, to be on Broadway. I'm living my dream, and that's all you can ask for. At a certain point you have to ignore all the rest." — Sienna Miller, who is in After Miss Julie on Broadway. [NY Times]
• "I've had some absolutely great relationships and some not so great relationships. I've been in some relationships where I've felt terribly alone. Just because you're with someone it doesn't mean you're incredibly happy and complete. I've had some easy and natural, made-sense breakups as well as some rough ones. I deal with them the same way we all do: I'm successful with some and not so successful with others. I don't think my experiences are any different than anybody else's, they've just been amplified a little more." — George Clooney. [Mirror]
• "Parenting is something you can't delegate. Yes, you can find help with the daily things, but that doesn't release you from the guilt and anxiety and concern. Is there ever a time when putting your needs ahead of your children's is acceptable? That is the overarching question." — Uma Thurman, on new film Motherhood. [NY Times]
• "Losing my mother was very traumatic. I don't know if I'll ever get over it. And now I'm older than my mom was when she died, which is pretty strange. She died when she was 35. [I lived with my father after that], he was a salesman and only in his early 60s when he died [of complications from diabetes]. I was 20. I miss him every day. He had a wild streak. He was funny, larger than life, and sad. He's probably in my performance more than I know. I started acting in grade school and kept returning to it in high school and college. Theater departments are usually a big collection of orphans and screwups-sort of lost tribes-and I found kinship there. When I started thinking about what to do with the rest of my life, acting was the only thing I kept coming back to." — Jon Hamm. [Reader's Digest]
• "When I look at digital, the dark side of it for me is the physicality that's being presented alongside the Internet. I think about that movie The Matrix, and about these bodies that are human batteries that support computers. I met this guy who was creating software where you could watch Mad Men and you could chat with your friend while you're watching it, and things would pop up, and facts would pop up, and I said, 'You're a human battery. Turn the fucking thing off! You're not allowed to watch the show anymore. You're missing the idea of sitting in a dark place and having an experience. Are you just like sitting with your phone and you're kissing your girlfriend and saying, "I'm kissing my girlfriend! This is so great, we're having sex!'" EXPERIENCE THINGS!" — Matthew Weiner, creator of Mad Men, at the New Yorker Festival [NY Magazine]

• Lindsay Lohan accidentally ruined a cake at a Victoria's Secret party, as she thought the cake was actually a giant perfume bottle. "She accidentally poked a hole right in the middle of it." says a source. Team Pie shenanigans! [PageSix]

• Meanwhile, Michael Lohan is furious that the judge at Lindsay's recent probation hearing didn't order his daughter to go to rehab: "She needs to put my daughter in rehab," Lohan says, "How could that judge have let her just walk in to court and walk right back out? The least they could have done was give her a drug test at the door." [RadarOnline]
• Dina Lohan however, just used her Oh Snap Flowchart on Michael, releasing this statement: "Michael Lohan needs to focus on being a parent, paying child support, of which he is six months behind, and making up for all the years he was an absentee dad," Dina says, "And stop going on national television talking about his children publicly."
  Lindsay, meanwhile, is reportedly considering taking a restraining order out against her father. [People]
• Mickey Rourke allegedly is "fascinated with the Mafia" and once "created his own crew in a "male-bonding ceremony" in Los Angeles with 13 friends who swore allegiance to one another." [PageSix]
• Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper were spotted together in Vancouver, and according to DJ Leanne who dined at the same restaurant as the couple, ""Renée was very happy. She was laughing, smiling. They were very cute. They were definitely having a good time and seemed happy." [People]
• Stephanie Santoro, former nanny to the Gosselins (who also claims she hooked up with Jon), says that the Gosselin kids love filming Jon and Kate Plus 8, and that Jon Gosselin is on a monstrous power trip right now. All he does want out of everything is control. He wants to be in control of everything in his life," she said, "including Kate." [LATimes]
• "I was pretty upset. I don't like to think of him sitting in a prison cell. But I wouldn't comment upon it because it's a very complicated issue, you know? It seems odd. He's been living in Switzerland for years and I've visited him there, so this is all very strange."- Ewan McGregor on Roman Polanski [LATimes]
• Kiera Knightley, Amy Winehouse, and Nicole Kidman all all being considered to play Dusty Springfield in an upcoming biopic. [DailyExpress]
• "I don't see it as being from a misogynistic point of view. On the contrary, I don't find any hatred there. For me, the woman character was him. I felt I was playing him. The vulnerability of that woman is Lars."-Charlotte Gainsbourg on her role in the controversial film, Antichrist. [LATimes]
• "It's funny, because I haven't had one ounce of Botox or any of that. I finally got gray hairs in the past couple years, and I wore it on ER, but they made me cover it up in this show. I don't want to be one of those weird-looking guys who gets old but stays looking young."-John Stamos on his youthful appearance [TheAdvocate]
• "I'm old. It's an interesting thing to watch yourself grow older on screen. I was watching Up In The Air and I thought, 'Jesus, who's the old gray-haired guy?' And it was me. I never wear makeup for movies and now it's starting to show."- George Clooney [Telegraph]
• Busta Rhymes has been ordered to pay $75,000 to a man he assaulted in 2003. [UPI]
• Jermaine Jackson's ex-wife, Alejandra Jackson, claims that Jermaine owes $35,550 in court-ordered child support. [TMZ]
• Kim Kardashian's was robbed last night; the robber made off with several pieces of jewelry, including a Cartier watch. [TheSun]
• Megan Fox was crowned "Best Sci-Fi Actress" at the Spike TV Scream Awards last night. [DailyMail]
• "Most of my humor is how totally ridiculous I am. I can find endlessly funny things about me or our life. The grand statement followed upon stepping in the pile of poo."- Ted Danson [LATimes]
• Real Housewives' star Bethenny Frankel is engaged to boyfriend Jason Hoppy. "It feels great, because I'm with the right person," Frankel says. [People]
• Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are rolling their eyes at this right now, according to a source who says the pair "never used to pay attention to what was being written about them in the media but in recent weeks, they've become fascinated by it. They're obsessed with Googling themselves to find out what the bloggers and fans are saying about them. They find all the rumors hilarious!" [ShowbizSpy]
• Madonna is currently being sued by neighbors in her Central Park apartment building, who claim Madonna is using the space to rehearse and subjecting them all to "blaring music, stomping and shaking walls," for three hours a day. [Mirror]
• Are Madonna and Guy Richie getting back together? A source says maybe possibly who knows: "The pair of them have huge egos so, rather than speaking directly to one another, they are using friends to relay information. The truth is both Guy and Madonna are becoming more and more open in their admissions that in many ways they regret getting divorced." [ShowbizSpy]
• "When I'm singing in the studio, I have an image in my mind of sitting at a table with somebody and they're sitting right across from me and I'm telling them something," he says. "There's a lot of music and a lot of people out there who can tell you how they feel, but if you can tell somebody how they feel and they didn't realize it until you told them, then you've got something." -Tim McGraw [WashingtonPost]
• Hugh Jackman's people are reportedly pushing the actor to turn down a second stint hosting the Oscars, as "he's a movie star, not a song and dance man." [DeadlineHollywood]
• Sting's wife, Trudie Styler calls him "Pookie," because, as Sting explains, "Pookie means magic mushroom. It's because we used to take so many when we were younger." [TheSun]

Ted Danson Reads from the Book of Creeps [Everything Is Terrible]

• Brad Pitt was out with Zahara when a paparazzo got a leeetle bit too close. Brad grabbed the guy's collar and said, "Get the fuck away from me!" Oooh, AggroDaddy! [E!]
  
• The Spice Girls tour ends February 26 in Toronto and was fun while it lasted, but "probably won't happen ever again," Ginger says. Sorry, folks: You'll have to get your girl power somewhere else. [Reuters]
  
• Lindsay Lohan "fluttered" back and forth between Adrian Grenier and Leonardo DiCaprio at a club in West Hollywood Tuesday. Also: LL was drinking vodka and champagne. Where's that SCRAM when you need it? [Rush & Molloy]
  
• Paul McCartney sent a bouquet of lilies to Heather Mills on the eve of their first day in divorce court. Attached was a note that read, "Please remember you and I are both human and have one very special person in common. Please let's not forget this when we are in court. Whatever happens, our daughter comes first." Very admirable. Gentlemanly, even. No? [Mirror]

• Carson Daly went back to work on Last Call during the writers strike — now NBC has cut the show's budget and fired most of his writers. How's that for a punch line? [Deadline Hollywood]
• A lawyer in NYC has filed papers in federal court asking that Britney's conservatorship case be taken away from the L.A. court, stating: "It is doubtful that Ms. Spears can receive equal protection and a fair trial or hearing in the custody proceedings because of the intense media scrutiny of what would normally be private aspects of a person's life." Wait, what? Plus! No one knows who hired this lawyer. Crazy. [TMZ]
• Britney's brother has been named as the trustee of his sister's trust. Definitely keep it in the family and away from the hangers-on! [TMZ]
• Also, Brit's conservatorship has been extended to March 10. And! Sam Lutfi has still not been served with that damn restraining order, even though Britney's dad's attorney swears they staked out is residence and "did many things we do not want to discuss right now." That Lutfi dude is slippery. [USA Today]
• Today is the one-year anniversary of Britney's head-shaving. Raise your razors. [TMZ]
• Pam Anderson is in Paris campaigning for the protection of baby seals. She's working with Brigitte Bardot's animal rights foundation, and BB said to Pam, "You are my Valentine, I kiss you," via speakerphone. Kinda cute! [Reuters]
• Ted Danson is calling for the planet's oceans to be protected from overfishing and mercury contamination. He and Pam should go on the road! [AP]
• To get back at Sarah Silverman for singing "I'm Fucking Matt Damon," Jimmy Kimmel is making a video called "I'm Fucking Ben Affleck." Hmm, Sarah still wins this round. [Page Six]
• Bono and artist Damien Hirst hosted an auction last night that raised more than $40 million for AIDS relief. Also attending the (RED) benefit: Queen Noor, Michael Stipe, Dennis Hopper, Martha Stewart, Christy Turlington, Ed Burns, Q-Tip, Helena Christensen, Brian Williams and Anna Wintour. [Rush & Molloy]
• Blind item! "Don't panic, but which pint-size actress who recently sucked face with her celebutard best friend is being romanced by an equally tiny emo rocker, whom she met at a disco during the Grammys?" [Rush & Molloy]
• John Mayer downed sake shots with some folks from TMZ. What a wonderful world. [TMZ]
• Oasis singer Liam Gallagher married his longtime girlfriend, All Saints singer Nicole Appleton, yesterday. They've been together 8 years and have a 6-year-old son. Keeping in the tradition of the Oasis rivalry, Liam didn't tell his brother Noel about the nuptials. What's the story, morning glory? [People]
• In a just-published interview conducted before Heath Ledger's death, a post-breakup Michelle Williams said: "I thought I knew certain things and it turned out that I didn't, so I don't really try and anticipate so much anymore. I'm not making any bets on the future." [People]
• A construction worker who admitted to strangling actress Adrienne Shelly pleaded guilty to manslaughter yesterday. Shelly, who wrote, directed and co-starred in Waitress, was killed by the man after he robbed her apartment; he then hung her body to make it look like a suicide. [USA Today]
• Rihanna and Chris Brown: It's so on. [Concrete Loop]
• Hey, so that model in the Kanye West video will sell you her used underwear, if you're interested. She says she wears each pair of panties "long enough to transfer my 'natural' scent." Good morning! [Rush & Molloy]
• The Dept. of Animal Services went to Paris Hilton's house yesterday to investigate a complaint about her dogs. The city of L.A. has a three-dogs-per-address rule; Paris, on Ellen, claimed she has 17 dogs. Anyway, her house is under construction at the moment so no one was home. [TMZ]
• Bai Ling claims she shoplifted mags at the airport because it was an "emotionally crazy" day; she was breaking up with her man. On Valentine's Day??? "Wrong boyfriend," she says. [People]
• Bai Ling's mugshot! [TMZ]