She talked about riding a Razr scooter ('You have to switch sides or else one side becomes overdeveloped"), pole dancing with her daughter, having a scrapbook for her "mutts" — including a picture of one of them with Barack Obama — and, as seen in the clip above, made a cracks about how much fun it is to do sad movies.

She also informed David Letterman that when kids are seven years old, they can go to hell. She knows from experience.

Lastly, she showed off her tattoos.

Even if my mom will never believe that my brother's psoriasis wasn't caused by the discreet, classic Mr. Met on his upper arm, it's pretty much acknowledged that tattoos are not the cause celebre they once were (save, that is, in D.C. offices and Orthodox cemeteries.) Indeed, says the Washington Post, "almost 40 percent of Americans 18 to 40 have at least one tattoo."

And in Hong Kong, where ink has long been the exclusive province of triad gangs, tattoos are on the (discreet) rise. Says the Sydney Morning Herald, "Some men in Hong Kong do not accept their girlfriends having tattoos...But people are more open now — the tattoo is losing the bad-guy status it once had." And parents are still liable to be shocked, making one woman's secret "hand-sized portrait of her surgeon father at work" both touching and subversive.

And that double-standard may not be restricted to other cultures. As my mother said to me the other day, "Well, it's bad enough that Charlie would do that...but you never would, would you? It's completely different!" That depends on whether I can find an artist to do her full justice, of course.

In D.C. Area, Tattoos Are Largely Taboo From 9 To 5 [Washington Post]\
Hong Kong Women Shrug Off Tattoo Taboo [Sydney Morning Herald]

The grand prize for this pageant is $1000, yet this mother invested over $7000 for her daughter to compete. WTF is up with her math?


I think "chewing on lead paint" actually did affect this woman.


WTF is up with purposely not giving a child medication?


How is this photo at all representative of a 7-year-old human?


WTF is she talking about?


Speaking of turds, that's all I can think about when looking at this screen grab and caption.

[London, September 25. Image via Getty]

LONDON, ENGLAND - SEPTEMBER 25: Tattooist Nikole Lowe shows of her tattooed legs on the opening day of the fifth London Tattoo Convention held at Tobacco Dock in the east end on September 25, 2009 in London, England. The three day, annual convention for all aspects of body art is one of the main events in the European tattoo circuit and was attended by 20,000 visitors last year.. (Photo by Oli Scarff/Getty Images)

Jason works at a pizza parlor and recently got engaged. He wants to get a better job to make a better life for himself and his fiancee, but feels that his tattoos — particularly the ones on his face, neck, and hands — will hold him back from being hired somewhere. He began the process of laser removal, but didn't realize that the healing process would include giant, puss/blood-filled blisters.

Having blisters, of course, was not a good thing considering that he works with food. Especially when he started "softly draining" them in the employee bathroom. His boss told him he had to go home, and lose the day's pay.

Actually, all of the tattooed individuals on the show seemed to compulsively make decisions that were not completely thought out, like Ali, a 26-year-old woman who had her fiancé's name tattooed on her arm, after they were together for four months.

A few months after that, he left her, and subsequently (softly?) drained her bank account. Ali suffered a nervous breakdown. Now she can't stand to even look at his name on her arm. She doesn't have a job, and can't afford laser removal, but was able to scrape together enough money to get another tattoo to cover up the original. However, this would require that she get almost her entire forearm covered in ink. She briefly considered the fact that she might hate this new, larger tattoo, and that it might hurt her chances at getting a job in a law office. But she went ahead and got the cover-up tat anyway.

Then she got back together with her ex-fiancé.

The Guardian's tongue-in-cheek story about the new Barbie is titled, "A Tattoo That Spells The End Of Civilisation." Mother-of-three Colleen Pope, from Bournemouth, UK, tells The Daily Mail: "Tattoos are common and if it leads girls to get one, they might regret it for the rest of their lives. It is dumbing right down — Barbie should be at the high end of fashion, not the chav end. Whatever will they bring out next? Drug-addict Barbie? Alcoholic Barbie?"

The truth is, Ms. Pope may be the only mom who is upset about the doll. Pope's quote was used in the Guardian piece, an article in The Sun and in this blurb (titled "Moms Livid Over Barbie Tats") on Newser. So the "livid moms" is really just one livid mom.

Writes one Daily Mail commenter, "Winston Churchill had a tattoo — does that mean he should have been disqualified from Parliament?"

In addition, as seen in this video by Mike Mozart of JeepersMedia, the tattoos are pretty innocent: there's a panda head, a cupcake, flowers, stars, butterflies, hearts and, of course, Barbie head silhouette. I'm pretty sure the temporary tattoos we used to get as Cracker Jack prizes were edgier.

Why the need to act "scandalized" that Barbie is getting (temporary, sticker) tattoos? Would anyone give a shit if GI Joe had them?

A Tattoo That Spells The End Of Civilisation [Guardian]
Barbie Given Tattoos By Makers To Mimic High-Profile Celebrities like Amy Winehouse [Daily Mail]
Anger As Barbie Is Given 40 Chav Tatts [The Sun]
Moms Livid Over Barbie Tats [Newser]
Totally Stylin' Tattoos Barbie – The Stink over Ink! [InventorSpot]

• Does Daniel Craig have a tattoo on his magic stick? He told Jay Leno: "I have a couple of tattoos where you’d see them. There’s another where you wouldn’t. It’s hidden away."

Jay said, "Is it one of those where it says OK and then it says Oklahoma?" And Craig answered, "Yeah, it says 'Welcome to Oklahoma.'" [The Sun]

• Speaking of tattoos, Amy Winehouse wants to get Blake's name removed from her chest. Love is a losing game. [Mirror]
• Holy crap, what will happen if Peaches Geldof checks into the same hotel in St. Lucia where Amy Winehouse is vacationing? [The Sun]
• Boo, Amy's "friend" is leaving the Caribbean. Amy's dad will fly to St. Lucia to comfort her. Oh! Amy allegedly told one paper: "When I’m with Josh I don’t need drugs to feel good because he makes me feel so amazing. I’ve finally escaped from hell. I’m in love again. Look at me, I’m glowing! We just had sex... can’t you tell?" [The Sun, News Of The World]
• Is Blake Fielder-Civil filing for divorce? [Daily Mail]
• Was Angelina Jolie's face pumped full of Botox at the Golden Globes last night? [Gatecrasher]
• Heath Ledger's father says the whole family is thrilled that the late actor won a Golden Globe: "We are overjoyed for him. It's wonderful." [People]
• Sean Penn refused to attend the Golden Globes because Milk was snubbed. [Fox 411]
• Hmm, Angelina and Brad were supposed to open the show and somehow Jennifer Lopez was their replacement? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Uh-oh: The male nanny who was caring for Jett Travolta is a Scientologist photographer with no known childcare qualifications. [The Sun]
• This video supposedly shows a man falling off of a balcony and Pete Doherty fleeing the scene. [Daily Express]
• Prince Harry has apologized for the racist remarks he made on video 3 years ago; in the picture accompanying this story he certainly looks contrite. [USA Today]
• A Muslim leader calls Prince Harry's slur "sickening." [Daily Express]
• Lindsay Lohan says the tabloids and paparazzi create false information about her becuase they're into head games. "Head Games" happens to be a song by Foreigner, and Sam Ronson's dad Mick Jones founded that band. Get it? [People]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are "worming" their way into an inauguration event in DC, even though they didn't support or endorse the Obama campaign. [Page Six]
• Obama on 30 Rock?!?! [Extra]
• Madonna was spotted out with friend and photographer Steven Klein, yawn. [The Sun]
• Madonna hasn't been paying any attention to her special "friend," Alex Rodriguez, which is maybe why he took Kate Hudson out to dinner. [TMZ]
• David Beckham has started his stint playing for AC Milan: He was in the game for 89 minutes on Sunday. The AS Roma crowd booed him. [AP]
• Charlie O'Connell has flashed a picture of his new nieces, Dolly Rebecca Rose and Charlie Tamara Tulip, on his iPhone. Click and see! (They look like babies.) [E!]
• Lily Allen, 23, was hanging out with art dealer Jay Jopling, 45, but has split up with him because of his age. By the by, Jopling is worth £100 million. [The Sun]
• Wow: Faye Dunaway is guest-starring on Grey's Anatomy! [EW]
• Glenn Close, who has never committed to a TV series before, has signed on for 6 seasons of Damages: "Keep thinking of Angela Lansbury," she says. "I'll be doing my version of Murder, She Wrote." [CBS News]
• Blind items! #1: "Which pop star/reality-TV hostess and her husband tried to lure a hottie publicist into their Atlantic City hotel suite for a threesome? When the singer suddenly stripped naked and got into bed, the terrified flack made her excuses and fled." #2: "Which petite screen actress isn't as intelligent as her college degree would imply? She refuses to read the scripts her agents send her and then throws a fit when plum roles go to her harder-working peers." [Page Six]
• Blind item! #3: "Which TV and big-screen funnyman has a little too much porn on his phone? He’s reluctant to let his cell out of sight for fear someone will discover his cache of naked women." [Gatecrasher]
• The author of this piece about Cate Blanchett writes: "Cate is curious-looking, like an incredibly beautiful sea anemone, sloe-eyed, with straight, chic teeth. If I were going to be terribly picky, they’re a bit bloodless, perhaps." WTF. [Times of London]
• Roman Polanski has lost his bid to have his unlawful sex case dismissed in L.A. [Reuters]
• Michael Phelps is back in China, making commercials for Mazda. They're paying him more than $1 million to endorse the brand in China, which is the single largest sponsorship deal for a foreign celebrity in the country. [AP]
• Sheree Whitfield, one of the Real Housewives Of Atlanta, is showing at Fashion Week. No, really. [Page Six]
• High School Musical's Vanessa Hudgens scooped up "overflowing" bags of freebies in the Golden Globes swag suites while talking about the "huge house" she just bought. Tacky! [Gatecrasher]
• Has Sienna Miller been dropped from Ridley Scott's Robin Hood flick for her "partying lifestyle"? Her rep says she dropped out. Her love interest in the film would have been Russell Crowe, do with that what you will. [Telegraph, Mirror]
• Keeping Up With The Kardashians returns in March, and inquiring minds want to know if Reggie Bush will propose to Kim Kardashian on the show. Plus: Will Khloe's NBA boyfriend Rashad McCants appear on screen this season? [E!, UPI]
• Cutiepie Amanda Seyfriend is dating her hunky Mamma Mia costar Dominic Cooper! Lay all your love on me, for real. [Perez]
• Gossip about Jennifer Love Hewitt's "neediness" and "coming on too strong" sounds fishy. [Sun Times]
• Fantasia: Not homeless. [Perez]
• Kylie Minogue and her "Spanish hunk" are still going strong. Who cares if he's the "spitting image" of Olivier Martinez? [Mirror]
• Congrats to singer Jill Scott, who is pregnant for the first time. She spent her first trimester shooting HBO's The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency in Botswana. "That was one of the biggest challenges of my life," she claims. "First trimester! You're sick every morning. It was seven hours time difference, the heat, the bugs, the 14-hour days." Scott is engaged to a drummer named Lil' John Roberts. [UPI]
• None of his costars seem to know what will become of Balthazar Getty on Brothers & Sisters. [E!]
• Dustin Hoffman steals from hotels, tsk tsk. [The Sun]
• Jamie Oliver wants to save your bacon. He thinks that people are "ignorant" about the ways that pigs are raised: "How many people outside of the industry know the difference between outdoor-bred and outdoor-reared, for example? Not many." [Guardian]
• Absolutely Fabulous' Joanna Lumley is also concerned about the piggies. [UPI]
• Sadie Frost is too busy to date, unless you are a handsome Russian billionaire. [Mirror]
• Uber-bronzed George Hamilton loves talking about himself. "It’s my favorite subject." [NY Times]
• Boy George let a DJ named Fat Tony stay at his house while Fat Tony was awaiting trial for raping a 12-year-old boy in a public restroom. Bad idea? [The Sun]
• Singer Charlotte Church gave birth to her second child yesterday, a boy. [The Sun]
• A Tito Jackson paternity suit? And the offspring in question is 25 years old? Wanna be startin' something. [UPI]
• Have you seen Lil' Kim's uh, corny new hairdo? [The Life Files]
• "It is difficult to live up to the level of expectation that directors or other actors or the public and most of all the people you work with have. It is frightening." — Catherine Deneuve. [Mirror]
• "Those were blissful days, I must say. We couldn't even imagine a life in Hollywood back then. Hollywood was as distant and impossible as El Dorado. It was all about fun. Watching Emma was like watching the sun or wind or some other elemental force. Her talent even then was inescapable." — Hugh Laurie, who dated Emma Thompson back in the day. [Page Six]
• "I'm driving down the road, I'm having a drink. It's 4 o'clock; I'm supposed to have a drink. But one day I went, 'I don't see anybody else in their car with a plastic takeout container filled with ice and wine.'" — Alec Baldwin on his alcohol abuse epiphany. [UPI]
• "There are lots of nice things about British men. For instance, they can be very funny and very self-deprecating. In Britain, you very rarely get the sort of macho self-confidence of the Latin man who is soooo out there and sort of 'Yes! Of course! I'm lovely!' I like that about them. But, on the other hand, when it comes to emotions, they can also be... Well, let's face it, they can be just fantastically retarded, can't they? Almost to the point of lower case autism, really." —Emma Thompson. [Daily Mail]

From today's Tattoos Gain Even More Visibility:

"Watching a show like Project Runway, where the guy who won Season 3 had his son’s name tattooed on his neck," Ms. Handelman added, referring to Jeffrey Sebelia, "I was, like, 'Whoa.' It wasn’t a prison tattoo. It wasn’t sailors or criminals. It was this real-life person that you saw being creative and successful, and it really affected your perception about who gets tattooed."

From September 14, 2008, With This Tattoo, I Thee Wed:

"We live in a heavily inked Brooklyn neighborhood, but I’d never seen a wedding ring tattoo. I liked the dare. If we actually made it to the altar, I said, I would… My spouse was shocked, but pleased. One of my daughters hated it, the other at least pretended not to. There was clearly one bit of genius in that — nothing makes a tattoo as unappealing to a teenager as seeing her father get one."

From July 27, 2008, The Breakups That Got Under My Skin:

"Maybe some girls would fear their parents' reaction to such an act, but my mother had actually gone down this road before me and gotten a tattoo just a decade earlier, when I was 10. In fact, she had taken me along. I watched as a heavyset bearded man in a clean white T-shirt pressed the buzzing needle into her backside. I studied her face, concerned by her wincing. Afterward she showed it to me: a lavender iris, her favorite flower. It was a delicate thing, placed where no one but she and a lover would see."

From July 17, 2008, For Some Jews, It Only Sounds Like 'Taboo':

Nicki Carnes and her sister, Rebecca, who now also has a tattoo, say that being permanently marked was just something they wanted. Others say they were tattooed to rebel or, surprisingly, that they wanted a Jewish tattoo as a way of connecting with their religious and cultural identity…Todd Weinberger, the creative director of Inked Magazine, grew up in a family that kept kosher, and recently got his first tattoo with his girlfriend, Jennifer Goldstein, an editor at CosmoGirl magazine.

From May 18, 2008, Ink-Stained and Loving It:

It's hard to look authentically rebellious or menacing these days, when even well-behaved businessmen wear earrings and ponytails and college students destined for quiet suburban lives have body piercings and tattoos…Tattoos, in particular, are not the radical brandings, the bold violations of flesh and propriety, they once were.

Also from May 18, 2008, Under My Skin:

"I was at sea from a breakup, and the former beloved happened to live next door. You are probably supposed to get a tattoo removed at the end of a relationship, get that name in the heart erased or changed to signify something else — Ken to Kenya, Olivia to Bolivia. But somehow this great unpleasant change in my life made me feel as if it was the right time to get the tattoo done."

From November 22, 2007, Etched in Mommy’s Heart and Now (Ouch!) on Her Ankle:

“I’d always thought of tattoos as something biker chicks got, not something I would get,” said Ms. Scarborough, a neonatal nurse. But she changed her mind after she and her husband adopted Daniel, who was born four months premature; the tattoo is of his footprints. “I wanted something to symbolize my connection with him and what we went through,” she said.

So there you have it, people. Tattoos = officially uncool. You're probably going to have to pierce your butt cheeks together to piss your mom off now. Thanks, New York Times, for clearing that up for us!

Tattoos Gain Even More Visibility
With This Tattoo, I Thee Wed
The Breakups That Got Under My Skin
For Some Jews, It Only Sounds Like ‘Taboo’
Ink-Stained and Loving It
Etched in Mommy’s Heart and Now (Ouch!) on Her Ankle [All NYT]

• "I'm really happy," Lindsay Lohan tells Marie Claire. She and Sam Ronson have matching tattoos. "Samantha has a bunch of stars, so I got that," LL says. Then, pointing to a little heart, she says, "she got this." And! She is looking to buy a home "with someone." [People]
• Lindsay's MySpace message: "I love yams." Yams rhymes with Sam? [PopDirt]
• Sam Ronson maybe told a bunch of people: "By the end of this year, my love will be Mrs Ronson." [Daily Star, The Sun]
• Just months after she gave birth to his son, Anthony Kiedis has dumped his girlfriend, Heather Christie. His new lady is Laura Freedman, who owns a jewelry store in Santa Monica. [Page Six]

• Usher and his wife Tameka are expecting a second child, 11 months after the birth of their son, Usher V. [The.Life Files]
• Mariah Carey's new manager is Mariah Carey. [E!]
• Britney? Being shot for Vogue? Really? But not for the cover, right? [ONTD, via NY Post]
• Anne Hathaway is profiled in the new issue of W. She wears a locket with a vintage lottery ticket inside around her neck. "I figure if it was a winning ticket, it would not have been discarded," she says, "so essentially I walk around with an unlucky lottery ticket around my neck." She also talks about life after her con man boyfriend. "I have to find a place to live," she says. And she weeps a little. "It’s a situation where the rug was pulled out from under me all of a sudden. But just as suddenly, my friends threw another rug back under me… I’ve been shown such kindness. Not everyone gets that. A lot of people go through tough times alone." [W]
• Anne Hathaway also says after she found out about Raffaello Follieri's arrest, "I spent a week in shock." [ET]
• Kate Moss's house has been infested with fleas. She's forced to spend some time on the island of Ibiza with her boyfriend, poor thing. [Mirror]
• Major drama involving Oprah's mom and debt. [Rush & Molloy]
• A New York judge has thrown out a bunch of lawsuits by unsuspecting people who interacted with Sacha Baron Cohen in Borat. [E!]
• Forbes has a list of Hollywood's most overpaid movie stars: Nicole Kidman, Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Garner, Jennifer Lopez, Jim Carrey, Nicolas Cage, Drew Barrymore, Will Ferrell and Cate Blanchett. This is all based on dollars earned, not acting chops; for instance: Cammie Diaz's flms returned a lowly $4 for every dollar Diaz earned. [Forbes]
• Hilary Duff's dad is out of jail. (He was arrested last month for contempt of court and selling assets without Hilary's mom's consent.) In an interview with Inside Edition, Bob Duff says: "Susan [Hil's mom] was very consumed with the girls' careers…We simply grew apart." And! "I was unfaithful to our marriage. I feel very badly about that and the effect that it had on the girls." So wait, whose fault is it again? [Perez Hilton]
• So remember how Josh Hartnett allegedly got all hot and heavy with a young lady in a hotel and the staff watched he whole thing on closed-circuit TV? Not true, says Josh. In fact, his legal team is seeking damages against The Mirror for reporting a "complete fabrication." [E!]
• Mary-Kate Olsen requested a seat between Gossip Girl stars Chace Crawford and Jessica Szohr at the Rock & Republic fashion show. Why are you trying to come between Nate and Vanessa? [Rush & Molloy]
• Paris Hilton thinks the documentary about Paris Hilton is pretty good. [AP]
• Michael Phelps is taking the $1 million bonus he earned from Speedo at the Beijing Olympics and donating it to charity. [Socialite Life]
• Poor James Franco is being ogled by freshmen at Columbia University, where he's enrolled in a Master's program. [Page Six]
• Ex-Beastie Boy Adam Yauch has gone from rapping to filmmaking and his company, Oscilloscope, is releasing Flow, that horrifying-looking documentary about the world's dwindling water supply that some of us totally want to see. [Jossip, NY Times]
• Alec Baldwin seems really interested in running for office. But if he knows the US government has long been run by men with Anglo Saxon names. "I'm going to change my name into a Muslim-sounding name," he jokes. He goes on to say: "I hope [Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama] wins or it's close because if it's close, that says something. A growing number of Americans are ready for the nontraditional. Where I would fit into that, I don't know." [Reuters]
• Alec Baldwin either did or didn't ram his car into a limo as he left the US Open on Saturday night. [Page Six]
• Ashton Kutcher launched a website called BlahGirls.com in which three animated teenage characters — sorta inspired by Ashton's step-daughters, Rumer, Scout and Tallulah Willis — gossip and comment. It's funny-ish, but some of the comments would get these girls banned here. [Reuters]
• This piece says that just because Britney Spears was on the MTV Awards and is making a new alum doesn't mean she is mentally sound. [Guardian]
• Mischa Barton and Rooney frontman Taylor Locke: Dunzo. [Perez Hilton]
• 90210 catfight? Shenae Grimes maybe called Shannen Doherty an "effin bitch." [ONTD]
• Teri Hatcher wrote a column for British Glamour and it was misrepresented and taken out of context in the media so that it seems like she is advising her 10 year old daughter to have sex. [ET]
• Amy Winehouse was so smashed after a festival gig that she couldn't manage to walk to the car and had to be wrapped in a duvet and smuggled out of her hotel. [The Sun]
• Kevin Smith talks about hot he got "the shit shot" approved by the MPAA for his new movie, Zack and Miri Make A Porno. [Salon]
• Beyoncé's new album drops November 18. One of first tracks is called "Single Ladies," but, um, she is married now, right? [Concrete Loop]
• Blind item! "Which music mogul treats his superstar wife like she's a servant? But she doesn't mind. 'She's Southern and thinks men should be the boss,' laughs one friend." [Page Six]
• You know Devendra Banhart, Natalie Portman's boyfriend? His new album gives him panic attacks. [Rolling Stone]
• The Veronicas performed at the MTV Awards but it got fucked up. [News.com.au]
• The Wiggles are Australia's richest performers, with more cash than Kylie Minogue and Russell Crowe. [Reuters]
• Ever wonder what the boys from Hanson think about the Jonas Brothers? Wonder no longer. [Perez Hilton]
• Hugh Grant had his birthday dinner with his ex-girlfriend and it made headlines. [The Sun]
• Lisa Simpson is divorced. [TMZ]
• "Great sex with someone may or may not really mean something. But it's a hell of a lot better than bad sex!" — Candance Bushnell to Cosmopolitan. [Page Six]
• "She is really very very very disinterested in fashion. She doesn't care. She wears her gym clothes from when she comes back from the gym until night. Sometimes she puts a jacket over it if I really beg her to, but she doesn't really care very much." — Susan Sarandon's daughter, Eva Amurri, on her mom's style. [AP]

[West Hollywood, September 4. Images via Splash.]

[London, September 2. Image via Splash.]

MEGAN: Oh, hey, so, apparently we all agree that Obama hasn't screwed anything up yet on his trip. And I think Obama knows where to recruit door-knockers for Florida, if only because I think the sight of a bunch of Palestinians knocking on doors saying "Ma'am, believe me, we know, Barack Obama isn't going to change the United States' policies on Israel one iota."
MOE: I DRANK SO MUCH LAST NIGHT actually I didn't I just drank enough. Surprising fact: I did not drink on Saturday or Sunday night at all. Not one drop! When that happens it throws my system out of whack you know.
MEGAN: I know, it's like, the sun is less bright on those days. I started buying beer, actually, because it was so hot and to get into shape for Germany but I can't consume enough of it all in one sitting to get drunk, it's a little sad still.
MOE: Oh look David Brooks is talking about debtor nation again huh cool.
MEGAN: In honor of your hangover, I recommend reading this analysis of how, by not publishing McCain's OpEd on Obama and the surge, the New York Times MOE: Holy itshay is that you Bobo??

This third position begins with the notion that people are driven by the desire to earn the respect of their fellows. Individuals don’t build their lives from scratch. They absorb the patterns and norms of the world around them.

Yeah regarding McCain, he wouldn't have looked like an idiot I don't think because who reads op-eds "written" by really important people? (Exception that proves the rule being Angelina of course.)
MEGAN: Dammit, I hate agreeing with Brooks! I mean, he does it without resorting to Marxism which is where you or I would go with it, but the idea that we're eroded a social norm by scaling down luxury goods, accept indebtedness as a way of life and normifying conspicuous consumption, man, dammit, I hate that. It's like, even my friends in Germany were surprised that as an American the only debts I have are student loans and my mortgage.
Like, even they all know we're a fucked up country when it comes to debt, even if they only know if because they're importing our debt culture like the rest of the bits of the worst of American culture we export elsewhere.
Oh, wait, phew, all is right in the world as Brooks descends into madness again.

The Treasury and the Fed are trying to stabilize the system while still ensuring that those who made mistakes feel the pain.

LOLZ, the government is trying to make sure people who made mistakes feel the pain. Sure, unless you're Bear Stearns or Freddie Mac or Fannie Mae, sure unless you're the trader that committed the frauds that undermined the stability of IndyMac and cost a bunch of old people their (uninsured) retirement savings and shit. "Feel the pain." The people that caused most of the problems won't feel any pain.
MEGAN: Anyway, so, the GOP has decided to stop suing people for using their logo which is like unAmerican to stop suing people and yet it's anti-trial lawyer and sort of pro-tort reform so perhaps more fitting with Republican ideology.
MOE: And I still don't know what to talk about, I guess there was that meme about how Colin Powell and Condi Rice may endorse Obama because of that whole identity politics factor but Condi identifies more with fellow alienbots so I'm thinking no on that one.
MEGAN: Yeah, I mean, what exactly is fitting with her political ideology that Obama espouses?
MOE: Well I think her exercise regimen is a big component of her ideology, and she totes has a crush on Michelle. But is that enough? Well shit, maybe for Condi!
MEGAN: Ok, can we talk about the fact that Cindy McCain travels with a stylist? I knew her and Megan's hair was too shiny to be true.
MOE: Oh I guess we have to talk about Obama's "fake" interviews. I mean, it would be one thing if someone said this who did not work for the memefactory, but I see what she's saying. That's the one thing I always dug about McCain is his "I'm just going to babble about whatever pops into my mind" PR strategy.
And Meghan HAS to have extensions right?
MEGAN: I don't know, I mean, I have seen her up close, if they are extensions, Ken Paves is grinding his teeth down to little points in envy.
MOE: Whoa I did not realize Cindy

fought her fear of campaigning via small planes by getting her pilot's license without telling her husband

Oh this is a good story, I love Libby Copeland.
MEGAN: I mean, you want to hate her, and then it's just hard. She's so nice-seeming.
The charity work, etc. Also, wtf, Andrea Mitchell? I'm not sure I get that, is she just mad she flew all the way over their and Obama chose Lara Logan or something?
MOE: (The writer.) (Who I was like totally jealous of for like ninety years because she went to school with me and NEVER WORKED A MILLISECOND ON THE SCHOOL PAPER WHERE I TOILED.) I did not think she was so good when she started at the Washington Post but now I love pretty much everything she does and I have to say, it is nice to suspect you would dislike someone and then turn out to be wrong. Okay, so Cindy McCain, she seems cool, I have to say. Not as cool as Michelle, but the thing about having disadvantages or whatever is that it is sometimes its own advantage, and Cindy grew up rich and blond and cheerleadery in Arizona. I wonder if she ever even saw Do The Right Thing. Nevertheless, she was just in Cambodia.
MEGAN: And for Operation Smile, which we all know I have a very soft spot for, even if the founder seemed totally amazed that I didn't have a speech impediment when we met once.
MOE:

"You just can't just help but love her, honey," says John's mother, the irrepressible 96-year-old Roberta McCain, who several times during an interview says she has nothing to say and then keeps adding things. She describes Cindy as a seamless mother who has managed her four children's lives with seeming effortlessness, all while looking fantastic and wearing the most stylish clothes. "I don't see any chink in her armor, and I'm not biased," she says.

MEGAN: Yes, as a mother-in-law, you certainly wouldn't be biased at all Roberta. Now, see, this is a serious question. I can't say from his first wife, as she's not so keen to do interviews, but between his mother, her, and Cindy, how in the world does McCain still not know better than to tell anti-woman jokes? Because, really, he's kind of surrounded by cool-seeming chicks. I want to totally be Roberta McCain when I'm 92, if I don't off myself at 60 of course.
MOE: hahaha

She is, in the words of her brother-in-law Joe McCain, a self-editor. Aware she is under a spotlight, she recognizes that everything she says must be carefully framed, or it can be taken out of context. "The best way to put it in context is to not say it," he says.

I am getting that tattooed on my knuckles.
MEGAN: Fuck my knuckles, I might be wearing gloves! I'm getting that tattooed upside down on my cleavage, the one thing that is always visible.
MOE: omg let's get tattoos together!
MEGAN: Yes, totally, I have been itching for one for years, I'd bet Attackerman knows a place, you know, somehow.
MOE: Yo this is really rough:

"John was with me the first time I lost a baby," she told Harper's Bazaar last year, "but not for those after, which was hard."

MEGAN: Yeah, I read that then and I felt awful for her. I mean, dude, as obviously as she wanted kids and as young as she apparently was, you have to wonder how they got through that. It wasn't like in the 50s or something, you know?
Also, can we all say a heart "Fuck you" to Karl Rove for this again?

She did, however, cry in front of reporters after smear attacks during the 2000 South Carolina primary insinuated that McCain had fathered an illegitimate black child — a reference to Bridget, born in Bangladesh.

All together, please: Fuck you, Karl Rove.
MOE: Here's another thing, like, she didn't feel like she was addicted because he didn't notice. Oh my, you know, like that is a lesson: do not rely on dudes to notice you have a problem, or really, anything at all about your condition unless they somehow interpret it to involve you being "mad" at them. I bet she was actually weirdly flattered that one time he called her a trollop for wearing too much makeup because it was like, you noticed?
MEGAN: Oh, God, I hear that for sure. Like, actually, a friend of a friend divorced his wife (eventually) for being a coke addict and he only noticed when he couldn't get money out of an ATM one day and went to the bank to complain and found out they didn't have any more. Like, any. That's an addiction.
Also, I stopped trying long ago with dudes. If I want them to notice, I'll say "Hey, I got my haircut, do you like it," or, "Hey, I dyed it red, what do you think," or, "Hey, I lost 30 pounds, what do you think of my ass now," you know, shit like that.
MOE: Hahaha I feel like dudes are pretty good at noticing that shit. "You look different…good" Hey thanks I washed my hair! I found that purple eyeshadow that vaguely recalls Debbie Gibson circa Electric Youth but oh well! I brushed my hair! I'm wearing a color other than black or gray! It's more like the, I dunno, subtler stuff they are shitty about. That's actually why I don't think it's such a bad thing to write about them on the internet.
MEGAN: Maybe I just date really oblivious dudes. But, also, my emotions aren't really subtle. And I try not to blog about actual dudes I'm currently dating. Dudes I used to date — particularly if they've pissed me off and aren't speaking to me anyway — somehow feel like fair game. Oh, also, before we end this, we should probably mention the fact that Radovan Karadžić was arrested yesterday.
MOE: oh right he totally was!
MEGAN: Amusingly, to tie it back into drinking, reportedly while drinking a beer on the street! Man, who knew Belgrade was so much like Boston?
MOE: This is a really educational blog post that puts things nicely in perspective! So this guy's poetry: crappy or what? Hmm.

In his defense, his supporters say that he is no more guilty than any other war-time political leader. His ability to evade capture for over a decade made him a local hero among the Bosnian Serbs.

So maybe now that he has been arrested while drinking a beer he will look less badass?
MEGAN: Hrm, well, being a bit of a translator myself, I sort of wonder if the reason these sound so incredibly shitty is translation error, but thematically I think they're also overblown and so I'm going to call crappy.
Also, I think Richard Byrne is suggesting that Ratko Mladić, the guy behind Srebrenica, might off himself rather than turn himself or be captured. And, to your point, that's totally what Byrne says, that not only will Karadžić look like a f'idiot, but that the former government that "couldn't find him" might look stupid to the people on whose support they counted. God, if only making an Administration look like a bunch of bumbling incompetent idiots would work here. God, we could dream, right?

Thankfully, the New York Times is debunking that myth, reporting that "The eight rabbinical scholars interviewed for this article, from institutions like the Jewish Theological Seminary and Yeshiva University, said it’s an urban legend…Jewish parents and grandparents picked up on it and over time, their distaste for tattoos was presented as scriptural doctrine."

The argument behind that widespread urban legend comes from the following passage in Leviticus 19:28: “You shall not make gashes in your flesh for the dead nor incise any marks on yourself: I am the Lord.” The woman who did my tattoo (a dainty ampersand in the middle of my back, which I affectionately refer to as my "trampersand") assailed that rumor when she pointed out that Jewish girls make gashes in their flesh all the time for nose jobs, and they still get buried in the Jewish cemetery.

And besides, as Rabbi Mark Washofsky points out to the Times, ear piercing, which also involves incising marks, is not controversial. Though tattoos are so prevalent that they're no longer really taboo in American society (40% of 26- to 40-year-olds have at least one tattoo the Times reports), there is one aspect of tattooing that is considered risky: getting your significant others' name tattooed on your body. According to the Telegraph, "Shortly after breaking up with Billy Bob Thornton, a Rolling Stone journalist pointed out the 'Billy Bob' tattoo on Angelina Jolie's arm. 'Where does that leave you?" asked the hack. 'With a lot of dermatology appointments,' she replied." If you really need someone's name on your person, get an ID bracelet, people! Friends don't let friends tattoo dudes' names on their butts.

Think Before You Ink… [Telegraph]
For Some Jews, It Only Sounds Like ‘Taboo’ [NYT]

Related: I Ink Therefore I Am [Guardian]