For the first time in the 6 years of my marriage, I am actually considering divorce very seriously. I have everything in place but I'm just so scared of missing him and can't pull the trigger.
The older generation seem to be of the sentiment that divorce has become so common nowadays, because we don't really try at it and give up too easily. I keep questioning my relationship and wondering if a woman would really have put up with all of this and seen it through to the end.
I'm beginning to realize that perhaps divorce is common because it is so necessary. I can't imagine that divorce could feel so much worse than being in a marriage that is on the constant verge of divorce.
I love my husband but he is leading me on a path to destruction - and he's going, with or without me.
@journalwife: I'm so sorry.
I can say this - if you do divorce, you will miss him. It will be strange not having him around. But eventually you will adapt, and it will soon start to seem like it was another life altogether.
Feh. I'm much healthier after my divorce. It was amazing, how much less stressed I was, after not having to tip-toe through the tulips around a guy who lost his temper at *every little thing* and was "handy" about it to boot ... nor do I have to worry about being beaten up anymore. LOL. I also eat much better, because I'm not catering to someone who despises "rabbit food" and considers things like vegetables to be "wog food" (and made his point, if I dared to serve it up, by throwing the plate across the room). So, no. Maybe some people are make ill by their divoce ... but I'll bet there are a lot of us who had the exact opposite reaction.
About the topic. Getting a divorce actually improved my health, primarily because I quit abusing drugs and alcohol as coping mechanisms. The only time we got along was when we were both smashed and high, and so I was drinking until I passed out almost every night of the week. That is not good for one's health.
The other thing was that, while the actual divorce was a lot of stress, it was nothing compared to the stress I felt as a regular part of my day to day life. Leaving him meant feeling like I could truly relax for the first time in years.
I'm healthier now than I've ever been, and I know it would not have been possible had I stayed married.
I'll take my chances with divorce, too. After 5 weeks of marriage, I realized that nothing good was going to come out of it--my soon to be ex-husband lies, drinks, and is financially irresponsible to the point of pathology. I know that folks tend to "relax" somewhat after marriage , but this is ridiculous.
So, I'm selling my house, moving away, and am off to Buenos Aires in the spring to learn how to do the tango. Life is about enjoyment, and I realized sooner rather than later that I backed the wrong pony when I married this dude.
I can't imagine how this new sense of freedom and hope for my own future isn't preferable to staying in a sham of a marriage with a man who was trying to pull me down with him. But then again, I don't know what he'd have to say about this. I suspect that, for him, divorce will be a negative.
@whynotshesaid: Oyeah. If the sex hadn't been so good, it would have been two. But the sexytimes just couldn't make up for the fact I was slowly being eaten alive, financially and emotionally. Yay, divorce!
Isn't the fact that the study was conducted among 50 and 60 year-olds a major aspect in the results? I mean, considering that overall, our health's quality diminishes as we grow old, isn't it obvious that major stressors in life affect our health more when they happen later in life? My grandmother would be the first to tell you that when her first husband died wasn't so terrible for her as when her second husband did. Major relationship aspects aside, she herself thought it was obvious that something that happened in her mid 30s was something she could overcome quicker than something that happened in her early 70s.
@Penny: Sounds like my life! Maybe not so much pizza, and Peep Show marathons instead of funny movies, but yeah.
Hey, I've survived TWO divorces. I'm scarred, but still standing.
08/05/09
The older generation seem to be of the sentiment that divorce has become so common nowadays, because we don't really try at it and give up too easily. I keep questioning my relationship and wondering if a woman would really have put up with all of this and seen it through to the end.
I'm beginning to realize that perhaps divorce is common because it is so necessary. I can't imagine that divorce could feel so much worse than being in a marriage that is on the constant verge of divorce.
I love my husband but he is leading me on a path to destruction - and he's going, with or without me.
08/05/09
I can say this - if you do divorce, you will miss him. It will be strange not having him around. But eventually you will adapt, and it will soon start to seem like it was another life altogether.
08/04/09
08/05/09
08/04/09
About the topic. Getting a divorce actually improved my health, primarily because I quit abusing drugs and alcohol as coping mechanisms. The only time we got along was when we were both smashed and high, and so I was drinking until I passed out almost every night of the week. That is not good for one's health.
The other thing was that, while the actual divorce was a lot of stress, it was nothing compared to the stress I felt as a regular part of my day to day life. Leaving him meant feeling like I could truly relax for the first time in years.
I'm healthier now than I've ever been, and I know it would not have been possible had I stayed married.
08/04/09
So, I'm selling my house, moving away, and am off to Buenos Aires in the spring to learn how to do the tango. Life is about enjoyment, and I realized sooner rather than later that I backed the wrong pony when I married this dude.
I can't imagine how this new sense of freedom and hope for my own future isn't preferable to staying in a sham of a marriage with a man who was trying to pull me down with him. But then again, I don't know what he'd have to say about this. I suspect that, for him, divorce will be a negative.
08/04/09
08/04/09
08/04/09
08/04/09
08/04/09
And remember that statistics are only just that: statistics. Figure shit out for yourself.
08/04/09
08/04/09
Masturbate. Eat pizza. Drink wine. Watch funny movies. Repeat.
08/04/09
08/04/09
08/04/09
Hey, I've survived TWO divorces. I'm scarred, but still standing.