As Tara Parker-Pope writes in today's Times,

New research shows that when married people become single again, whether by divorce or a spouse's death, they experience much more than an emotional loss. Often they suffer a decline in physical health from which they never fully recover, even if they remarry.

The stats, which come from a nationwide study of folks in their 50s and 60 and a series of related experiments, detailed in the piece, suggest that the stress of such situations can actually affect a person's cellular level and immune system.

When the author asked for anecdotal responses from readers, she got a range. Wrote "Shelley,"

Duh. Major emotional trauma damages health. Losing a spouse, losing a parent, losing a child, losing a job (and related health insurance.) I can't believe with health care in the state it is, we're wasting money on this kind of research.

But others had a more pragmatic take: Says "Jack", "At first the divorce took a toll, but the prospect of dating made me get in better physical shape. I joined a local running group, got in shape, and made new friends!" And added "S.K.," "Considering what the stress of a bad marriage is doing to my health, I'll take my chances with divorce." But the last word should probably go to the unhelpful contributor who commented only, "Marriage sucks and then you die!"

Divorce and death are major stresses (The Onion's editorial, "The Divorce Was Unfortunate, But I'm Glad We Handled It Like Total Animals" is all-too-real for many to be funny) and it seems pretty difficult to emerge from either situation unscathed. But isn't it one of the disconnects of being a human being that our physical interests are often in direct opposition of the wants and needs of our brains? In short, the body, for all its sophistication, doesn't want us to live life too richly: if it had its way, we'd subsist on a minimally caloric diet of nuts, seeds, lean protein and water, spend no time sitting at a computer, and start reproducing in childhood. The best most of us can hope for is an uneasy detante in which our emotions act as unreliable double-agent. (And can you guess who has two thumbs and took Biology for poets?) I guess my point is just this: sometimes the glut of information about the unavoidable effects of living on the body can be disheartening, and make one feel like we're in the grip of forces so large there's no point to anything. To a degree, that's true, and a certain measure of contentment probably arises from surrendering a bit of control. But to quote a doctor quoted in Laurie Colwin's peerless essay "Red Peppers," "it's silly to do anything for reasons of health." And applying any such thoughts to the emotional maelstrom of loss and divorce - quite stressful enough, thanks, without considering the toll it's taking on your cell count - seems like a good place to apply the maxim.

Divorce, It Seems, Can Make You Ill [NY Times]

When Married People Become Single Again [NY Times]

The Divorce Was Unfortunate, But I'm Glad We Handled It Like Total Animals [The Onion]

A second study, published in the Journal of Homosexuality, showed that heterosexual couples deploy more destructive tactics in verbal battles, while homosexual couples were more likely to be able to see the other person's point of view. “When they got into these really negative interactions, gay and lesbian couples were able to do things like use humor and affection that enabled them to step back from the ledge and continue to talk about the problem instead of just exploding,” UC Berkley psych professor Robert W. Levenson told the Times.

But the differences end there: apparently same sex couples and heterosexual couples alike display the "demand withdraw reaction," which, according to the Times is when "the woman tends to be unhappy and to make demands for change, while the man reacts by withdrawing from the conflict." Though the demand aspect of this interaction was previously attributed to a male/female disconnect, now researchers realize that this sort of behavior is not gendered.

And anyway, in addition to being potentially more egalitarian, a new study out of UCLA shows that the gay marriage industry could pump hundreds of millions of dollars into the California economy. According to the AP, "Gay couples are projected to spend $684 million on flowers, cakes, hotels, photographers and other wedding services over the next three years…[and] The nuptial rush is expected to create some 2,200 jobs." Can't wait for the awesomely lavish DeGeneres/de Rossi California nuptials myself!

Gay Unions Shed Light On Gender In Marriage [New York Times]
Study: Gay Marriage Good For Economy [AP via CBS News]

"The activity can be as simple as trying a new restaurant," Tara Parker-Pope writes, "The theory is based on brain science. New experiences activate the brain's reward system, flooding it with dopamine and norepinephrine. These are the same brain circuits that are ignited in early romantic love, a time of exhilaration and obsessive thoughts about a new partner."

All this pop science is well and good, but if you're so stuck in a rut that going to a new restaurant is progress, you've got bigger problems than a dopamine deficit in your brain. I'm guessing that you also have a penis deficit. In your vagina.

Reinventing Date Night For Long-Married Couples [New York Times]