They've said it before, but naturally people keep asking them, so Portia de Rossi and Ellen DeGeneres will say it again. They are not having kids. Don't want them, don't need them, it'll be just the two of them and their adorable seasonal wardrobes. Thank you, come again.

A poised and hella grown-uppish Prince Michael Jackson has landed a job as a special correspondent for Entertainment Tonight, a pretty impressive gig for a 16-year-old although though my impulse is to yell at him to stay the fuck away from show business and go work at the Dairy Queen like a normal teenager because I…

During the Lufti/Spears trial, Sam Lufti let this slip: "[Courtney Love and I] are currently working on a possible motion picture or Broadway musical based on the Nirvana catalogue, based on her life and Kurt Cobain's." However, because Lufti is skeezier than the stuff that falls between the wall and your bed and lives…

Rihanna, God of Patron Shots and Cigarette Butts and Hangovers and General Chaos, almost got thrown out of a London nightclub after she supposedly jumped on a glass table, fell, smashed it and then started screaming "Don't you know who I am?" when the doorman started kicking her out (which undoubtedly sounds less dick…

• Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz welcomed a baby boy into the world on Thursday and named him Egypt Daoud Dean. [Reuters]

• Alicia Keys married producer Swizz Beatz yesterday in Corsica; guests included Bono and Queen Latifah. [ContactMusic]

• Snooki was arrested this afternoon in Seaside Heights, New Jersey for disorderly conduct. "J-WOWW was spotted trying to talk Snooki into going back into the house," says a source. "But Snooki was out of control and seemed drunk."

• Oksana Grigorieva says she turned down Mel's $15 million because it entailed agreeing to a clause that gave him unsupervised visitation with their daughter. "I'm fighting for the life of my child," she says. [TMZ]
• She's also lawyer-shopping. [RMZ]

• Lindsay Lohan will finally have to answer for her behavior on that wacky night in 2007 when she stole a car, ran over a guy's foot, and was arrested with a baggie of coke in her pocket (allegedly, natch).

• Alicia Keys is pregnant with her first child, and engaged to marry producer Swizz Beatz.