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Scientists Claim That True Love Exists

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bananaprincess
01/04/09

In reply to Scientists Claim That True Love Exists
what ever- the main thing is to like their smell. And your nose will not work properly if you are on the pill. The glow lasts 2 years generally, because that's how long it takes for different skin not to provoke flight or flight reactions. Two years gives you time to get preg, have baby and get through the first few months.If the guy has the right smell (natural sweat) your genes are prob good together. Married 19 years this year.
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MisterMoonlight
01/04/09

In reply to Scientists Claim That True Love Exists
I think I am a swan/lobster. My boy and I are way awesome after 9+ years together, and mostly I am taking this as an opportunity to announce WE GOT MOTHERFUCKING ENGAGED LAST NIGHT!!!!!
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The HZA.
01/04/09

@MisterMoonlight: Congrats!!
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hortense
01/04/09

@MisterMoonlight: Congrats!
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Jack_Burton
01/04/09

@MisterMoonlight: wOOt!
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rmric0.wedding.photographer.and.manny
01/04/09

In reply to Scientists Claim That True Love Exists
All I know is the person who just drew that in the snow should probably get to the hospital, pee should not be that color.
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The HZA.
01/04/09

In reply to Scientists Claim That True Love Exists
That's the same Pop Tart Amanda Becker and Preston Meyers connected over.
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hortense
01/04/09

@The HZA.: YES!
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TransFat
01/04/09

In reply to Scientists Claim That True Love Exists
I'm at a point where love is there like crazy but sex has left the building. Feeling shallow for wanting to book it, but nothing has helped :(
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haguenite
01/04/09

@TransFat: You might find this helpful.

Of course, I don't know whose side it's on, but either way...
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beatrice2000
01/04/09

In reply to Scientists Claim That True Love Exists
I feel bad because I've never had a boyfriend, and I'm 25. The closest I had to relationships was dating two guys each in 2006, going out with each one several times before realizing that I liked them as friends. It took me a few years to get physically/sexually comfortable with guys, and I'm so used to being on my own that I can't imagine being in a real relationship with anybody. Or falling in love or really feeling something for someone.
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cuteasabutton
01/04/09

@beatrice2000: Oh honey. I know exactly what you mean. I was 24 before I had an actual relationship that lasted 2 years. Before that I felt exactly the same way as you, wondering what was wrong when everyone around me seemed to pairing up and I was the lone strumpet of the group! I'm 30 now and am slightly bitter and cynical, but I know that you will find someone and fall in love madly one day. It's happened to me! I have those days and times too when I just find it hard to understand people and feel anything. But I can tell that you can because you are here talking about it.
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haguenite
01/04/09

@beatrice2000: O HAI R U ME?!

I used to fantasize quite a lot about having a boyfriend and such, but recently I've found that the thought freaks me out a little, and I have no idea how it would be or what to expect or whatever.

@TransFat: Yeah, that's how my mom feels about it too. She's very pissed off that my grandmother is now proclaiming her love for this boy all over the place.

Me, I don't know. I think my grandparents were happy, most of the time. And I guess both their loves survived the test of time, which might be hopeful?
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annejumps
01/04/09

@beatrice2000: I think the cultural idea that everyone's got to have boyfriends or girlfriends by or in high school is not only misleading, but it really messes with some people. I didn't date in high school or college and I felt like a huge freak, but it's not that uncommon. Of course, I only find out that it's not that uncommon years later. Anyway, my first serious relationship started when I was 23, 24.
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happysquid
01/04/09

@annejumps: OMG totally yes. Someone needs to write a thesis on how damaging it is to push people into relationships... I always felt like a comlete freak because I didn't date anyone through highschool... I did not meet the boyfriendsquid until College... there is just so much pressure to date and pair up and such that it makes my blood boil. Personally I think that those of us who have been single longer have developed more resilience!
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SomeAuthorGirl
01/04/09

In reply to Scientists Claim That True Love Exists
I absolutely believe that true love exists. I have experienced it personally, with great depth and meaning. I guess I just don't equate it with longevity. Or reconcile the notion that it can Conquer All (TM).

The greatest evolution that we as a species could make is the notion of cohabitatation contracts with limited time-frames.

I do believe these "swans" exist, my grandparents were like that. However I resent being made to feel like I'm some sort of failure because I'm not one. Boo on that!
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badmutha
01/04/09

In reply to Scientists Claim That True Love Exists
Hello Jezzies. I do believe in true love. I love Mr. Badmutha more today than I did when we met 15 years ago. I don't know if we are swans, maybe more like lobsters, but he and I have grown together over time and I can only wish that for you too. And we actually did meet at a ball, but alas, no fairy god mutha gave me glass slippers.
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cuteasabutton
01/04/09

@badmutha: I am laughing at "god mutha"! But that is seriously cute and I am glad that people are in love...I do hold hope that one day it is something that will happen. But I choose to be healthily cynical and concentrate on me and loving myself first, because believe me I am a hard person to love sometimes I think...
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badmutha
01/04/09

@cuteasabutton...has a new avatar for '09 bishes.: You have all the time in the world to fall in love. Take good care of you.
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haguenite
01/04/09

In reply to Scientists Claim That True Love Exists
Also, you want true love. Here's a family story I learned for the first time over the holidays.

When my grandmother was 18, she got pregnant with a boy she loved deeply. But she was Catholic, he was Protestant, and they could never marry. Then she met my grandad, who upon learning the story offered to marry my grandmother, because he was already in love with him. She consented, but proceeded to lose the baby before they were married. They still got married though, and my grandad stayed with her through her bouts of depression (she was hospitalised pretty much every autumn for 17 years, and a couple of other times after she gave birth to one of their 7 kids). My grandad worked two jobs for practically all of his life to provide for his family. When my eldest aunt dropped off her newborn on their doorstep, my grandad was actually excited about raising another child.

He died almost 20 years ago, much too young. Recently, my grandmother has started saying that she still loves her impossible love, much more than she ever loved my grandad.

Make of that what you wish.
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haguenite
01/04/09

@haguenite: He was already in love with her. Durrr.
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cuteasabutton
01/04/09

@haguenite: That story warms the cockles of my cold, dead heart. For realz. I'm serious. I don't think people love each other like that anymore do they?
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cuteasabutton
01/04/09

In reply to Scientists Claim That True Love Exists
OK I have a confession to make...I met someone a year ago and I didn't know it until recently, but it is love! Can't live without you, can't breathe without you, have to see you every minute everyday. It's all you Jezebels. And when I'm in love this is how I feel...This is for you.

[uk]

+ Watch video

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cuteasabutton
01/04/09

In reply to Scientists Claim That True Love Exists
Sometimes love just ain't enough.
[uk]

+ Watch video

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electric barbarella is a pretty hate machine
01/04/09

In reply to Scientists Claim That True Love Exists
I've come to the conclusion that at my current age of 36 I will probably never find my "swan." Part of me is bitter about that fact and yet the other part is perfectly okay with being alone.

I'd rather be alone for the right reasons than with someone for the wrong reasons.
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cuteasabutton
01/04/09

@octobersky: Word. I am happy alone or in a relationship. I've never seen the point of being with someone simply for the sake of it. I have a lot of girlfriends who just want a boyfriend or husbands that they will put up with some horrendous shit.
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electric barbarella is a pretty hate machine
01/04/09

@cuteasabutton...has a new avatar for '09 bishes.: Word. I've even seen some of my male friends put up with some nasty, mean women just to have a girlfriend.

Currently where I live (midwest) there seems to be some strange fasincation in coupling up. I'm a total anonmaly where I live because I'm not part of a couple and have never been married or have kids. I swear around here it's more socially acceptable to be divorced and have kids than it is to not. Strange, huh?
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cuteasabutton
01/04/09

@octobersky: That is strange!I am still getting used to the fact that everyone around me is pairing up at an alarming rate. But I guess I just never got the memo because I was too busy being a dirty strumpet and whatnot!
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gherkinfiend
01/04/09

@cuteasabutton...has a new avatar for '09 bishes.: Don't worry. I'm perpetually single, so you'll know at least one person who isn't in a couple!

I can't even commit to the idea of getting a pet...
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electric barbarella is a pretty hate machine
01/04/09

@cuteasabutton...has a new avatar for '09 bishes.: @gherkinfiend: I too am perpetually single. ALL of my friends are in relationships - so I am always the fifth wheel if and when we ever go out. Truly I hate going out with them because it's a painful reminder of how single I am...

I do have a dog though, we spent NYE watching a "Twilight Zone" marathon on SciFi. I drank bourbon and he ate biscuits.
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gherkinfiend
01/04/09

@octobersky: As long as none of my coupled up friends try to matchmake me with any of their other single friends or express pity towards me being alone, I can cope with spending time with them...

I have such shitty luck with men that I don't really mind being single.
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Cerridwen
01/04/09

@octobersky: I've been in this situation and all I can say is "Don't let the bastards drag you down." It's easy to second-guess your singledom and think you must be pathetic because you're not currently paired up (at least I did), when you have a circle of friends so focused on being part of a couple. But if you have a solid sense of yourself and confidence in whatever stage of your life you are at, you'll be fine, maybe even better than those who would be with anyone just to be with someone.
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Le Kangourou de Kataroo
01/04/09

In reply to Scientists Claim That True Love Exists
My parents are very much swans. I however, am very much the ugly duckling.
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Eeva
01/04/09

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo: But the ugly duckling became a swan, so you'll be fine soon:)
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Le Kangourou de Kataroo
01/04/09

@Eeva: I hope so! My mom hadn't even met but saw my dad and said, "I'm going to marry him" and they've been happily married for almost 30 years. The day my sister met her husband she came home and said "I'm going to marry Chad" and she did, and I don't see that ending soon. I come home and say, "No, I stopped dating John back in October, then Mike, now it's Tim."
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fabulousmiriam
01/04/09

In reply to Scientists Claim That True Love Exists
I'm proud my parents seem to be swans. unfortunately, I do not seem to have the lovely skill of acquiring a swan for myself.
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TheFormerJuneBronson
01/04/09

@fabulousmiriam: My parents are too, and when I got married, I found out that it probably wasn't always as easy as they made it look. I have a good person, and I think, the right person, but I have no real perspective on how happy my parents were with each other when I was five--when they had been married as long as I have now been married--compared to how happy they are now, or how happy we will be at 40 years married. All I know is that they argued rarely, showed affection to us and each other, and stayed married.
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Le Kangourou de Kataroo
01/04/09

@fabulousmiriam: My mom always said the trick is to find someone who not just loves you but adores you, and finds the majority of what you do adorable, and vice versa. I know my parents worked hard to make their marriage work with 4 kids and little money, but the thing I remember most about my childhood is the abundance of fun and love. And my mom still gets drunk when my dad's out of town for business and rambles about how she can't live without him and loves him so much. It's the cutest thing ever.
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badmutha
01/04/09

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo: I get drunk when Mr. Badmutha is out of town and miss him terribly too. I'm sort of pathetic though. I bet your Mom is a sweetie.
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annejumps
01/04/09

@fabulousmiriam: My parents are swans too, and it's pretty difficult to live up to. I have no experience with unhappy marriages, which strangely is kind of a handicap.
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Bunsen Honeydew
01/04/09

@annejumps: Same here. Lucky for me though, the current boyfriend comes from a similar situation, so hopefully the happy swan-ie-ness will be genetic.
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Cerridwen
01/04/09

In reply to Scientists Claim That True Love Exists
Yes, great, but if I have learned one painful lesson in my life, it is that love is not all you need. If I ever get married, it is not going to be solely because of the warm fuzzies. The only constant in life is change and I would marry for the solid compatibility as partners that would get us through those times of change. There are more important fundamentals than whether my brain is flooded with endorphins when I see him, like our approaches to family, money, career, etc. I imagine if you have fuzzy happy feelings, it may be easier to work out those things, but I also know you can be in love with someone who is just utterly incompatible with you, someone with whom you'd never make it 40 years to find out whether your heart still leaps up.
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tscheese
01/04/09

@Cerridwen: Thanks for mentioning this. I, too, have learned is that love is not enough.

I had a great relationship with a wonderful person for 7 years. Nice, funny, smart, well-spoken, well-dressed guy, just an all-around wonderful human being. We were really, truly in love with each other for a long time.

But over the years it became pretty clear that our approaches to time and money were vastly different. I'm a miserly homebody, and he was a restaurant-loving social butterfly. We weren't crazy about each others' hobbies, either, and money was also an issue. I still miss him a little, and I feel terrible that I had to break his heart by leaving, but he just wasn't right for me. We were in love, but it wasn't enough.
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hellosunshine
01/04/09

@tscheese: I hate that I know exactly what you mean. I know I'm breaking his heart right now and I just can't help it, I'm effing MISERABLE until I can move.
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AvocadoGills: purveyor of kinky fish porn
01/04/09

@Cerridwen: One of the most painful lessons I've ever had to learn. 'Course, I learned it during a distance relationship, so there were some extenuating circumstances. I'll probably have to learn it all over again when I finally settle into a normal, stable relationship with some dude and realize two years in that he can't balance a checkbook.
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