Editor's note: Remember how I said I was going to watch every episode of 'Sex and the City' between April 1 and the May 23 premiere of the film? Well, for reasons of time, energy, and impending marriage, I didn't do it. What I did do, however, is pawn the task off on someone else: Emily Gould, Jezebel contributor and coiner of my favorite 'SATC'-related phrase, "Scary Sadshaws". Between today and Thursday, Emily will be watching all 94 episodes of the HBO series — that's 36 hours' worth! — and report back with her findings. A stunt? Yes. Insane? Probably. Wish her luck.

Last night, Anna and I were sitting in a chic little winebar in Queens sipping adorably-pink glasses of rosé when she announced that she had a present for me. The present was pink, too! And it came in a case made of sensuous faux-suede!

We marveled over its size and heft and giggled before I discreetly slipped it into my purse. On my way home, I had to wonder. Would I be able to handle it — all of it? I only had a few days, and it was so, so... BIG.

As you can tell, my brain has already been warped by this project. But over the next few days, I'll be soaking up all the pontification, all the scary reverse-aging, all the 90s eye makeup mysteries, all the saxophone solos ... God, the saxophone solos alone are going to drive me insane and I'm only on episode 2 ("Models and Mortals")!! What will happen to my brain? Well, I'll be keeping you updated. As a certain cigar-smoking, receding-hairlined lothario says in episode one, "What are you waiting for? Get in!"

Earlier: Maybe It's Time To Stop Hating On America's Scary Sadshaws

According to the NY Times, in exchange for Skyy Vodka being the official spirit of the film, Houlihans is now also serving up Skyy Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha 'tinis. Other companies that have signed on for the film are Coty fragrances, Vitaminwater, Mercedes-Benz USA, and the jeweler H. Stern. Says Chris Carlisly, the marketing president for the film's distributor, New Line: "We've positioned this movie from the beginning as 'the Super Bowl for women'.. So we want to align only with those brands that make sense, that match up with the 'Sex and the City' brand, and extend our footprint, not duplicate it." We're not sure what footprints (other than carbon ones) have to do with this movie, but one thing is for sure: This ain't no film, it's a 2-hour commercial. Clarifies exec producer John Melfi: "It's not sticking a bowl of cereal or a Coca-Cola in front of the camera. It's organic to the lives of the ladies." Which we all know are totally devoid of any trace of reality anyway.

'Sex and the City' And Its Lasting Feminine Appeal [NYT]
For Rent [WWD, 1st item]

Earlier: Carrie Bradshaw's Wardrobe To be Both Sexy And Subsidized
M Week With A $4,000 Snakeskin Handbag

• SJP does not wear Bitten (her Steve & Barry's line) or Covet (her new fragrance).
  
• SJP "never forgive what she [Kim Cattrall] did." Also, everyone on the cast of SaTC hates Cattrall. Also, SJP took KC to lunch in an attempt to make things less awkward between them. It only sorta worked.
  
• SJP hates Jessica Seinfeld, even though they, like, both vacation in the Hamptons and shit. SJP thinks Jessica is a social climber. No shit.
  
• SJP does not hate Meryl Streep's daughter, actress Mamie Gummer, even though Gummer cornered SJP hubby Matthew Broderick at a party and pulled an "OMG-I-love-Carrie-Bradshaw-SOOOOOO-much!" which both M. Brod and SJP think is like a totally annoying thing to have done to them. But because she's Streep Spawn, it's all good.

WOAH [Sehorn]

Major brands and designers around the world spent months jockeying for prominent placement on this high-profile movie runway. Money was offered, calls made, favours called in and publicists begged to get their brands on the backs of this glamorous quartet of women.

Brand strategist agencies work as corporate matchmakers and are involved in the movie-making process from the very beginning. They are given advance copies of scripts in order to analyse whether there are opportunities for a partnership, giving money to the studio in exchange for promotion.

Forget the fact that the large majority of writers can't afford head-to-toe designer wardrobes (trust us on this one), Carrie Bradshaw's wardrobe is unrealistic because it isn't even comprised of what a writer would want to wear even if she could afford to. But hell, who cares? After all, what is narrative integrity compared to cold, hard cash?

Cash and Carrie: How Top Designers Have Spent Millions To Get Their Outfits in the SATC Movie [Daily Mail]

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Patricia Field + Barbie = A Drag Queen's Wet Dream

That sort of wanton lust, it's just not at the surface of their skin anymore. What's important to me is that Carrie isn't frivolous and silly, that there is sophistication to her. She's making a serious attempt at making grown-up decisions about love and about life choices

32-year-olds go out and get drunk and sleep with inappropriate men in bars downtown. And 42-year-old girls maybe don't. Today they're out in front of the library getting married. That would've never happened in the 32-year-old New York.

I missed the whole thing. I missed the fictional people. I missed the real people. I missed the crew and the day-to-day of shooting the series.

For me the whole movie is the streets. Because that's where all the promise and potential is. That's the romance. That's the hope. That's where single women walk out the door every day, and they just don't know what is two steps away.

I sometimes get blamed for the meatpacking district, yes. And I'm sorry. But it can be nice on certain nights. And it can be awful on other nights. Like New York, you know?

That is all. You may vomit a little in your mouth and return to your work now.

More 'Sex,' and the City Is Happy About It [NYT]