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The Queen of No
02/26/09

In reply to Sexpert Susie Bright Answers Your Burning Questions, Part 3
Put it all the way in your mouth so he comes down your throat. They'll be a slight aftertaste but not as bad as like.. all over your tongue. Haha.
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SuperRounder
02/26/09

In reply to Sexpert Susie Bright Answers Your Burning Questions, Part 3
Who are these guys who care that much what happens after they come? I could care less. The best part is over. It isn't worth breaking up over.
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bluebears
02/26/09

@SuperRounder: THANK you.
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JerseyGrrrl
02/26/09

@bluebears: You're making me feel better. It's just not something I'm into/comfortable with. And I refuse to feel bad about it or suffer through it. We seem to be massively outnumbered though. :)
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labeled
02/26/09

@JerseyGrrrl: Dude, no one, not one single person here, is trying to convince you to do it.
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opalmarie
02/26/09

In reply to Sexpert Susie Bright Answers Your Burning Questions, Part 3
It seems kind of rude (maybe this isn't the right word) not to let your partner come in your mouth after a blow job. I mean, what does he do otherwise? If my boyfriend immediately jumped away from me right before II came from oral sex, I'd be more than a little offended.
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JerseyGrrrl
02/26/09

@opalmarie: Well then I'm going to horrify you. I just don't allow it. Not into it. And I really don't care if a guy's offended. I will never base what I'm comfortable with sexually on someone else's needs or desires.
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misspell
02/27/09

@JerseyGrrrl: Yes, I'm with you. The blow job itself is sort of favor enough, right? Plus it's much less fun if you're doing it because you feel obligated. I'm okay with it, but if I wasn't, I would be okay with that too.
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rednrowdy
02/26/09

In reply to Sexpert Susie Bright Answers Your Burning Questions, Part 3
everytime i read the title "sexpert susie bright answers your burning questions", i think that someone has something that is burning down there and is asking a question about it, and then i think about the hot-sauce-in-the-used-condom thing.
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Tart of Darkness
02/27/09

@rednrowdy: Hahahahaha! I have exactly the same reaction EXCEPT I expect all the questions and answers to be about STDs.

"I just lost my virginity to my high school boyfriend and now I have this itching and burning in my vagina...."
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merv
02/26/09

In reply to Sexpert Susie Bright Answers Your Burning Questions, Part 3
Aretha: Okay, FIRST-he could come earlier in the day, before you see each other, so that there isn't as much to deal with. The force isn't bad.

I may have to disagree with this one, having someone masturbate beforehand could potentially make the oral sex last for ages (and betoo long for comfort).
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labeled
02/26/09

@mervbaby: excellent point.
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LindsayC: doctoral hilarity ensues
02/26/09

@mervbaby: @labeled: Agreed. The day before should be plenty of time, I think.
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PinkPundit
02/26/09

In reply to Sexpert Susie Bright Answers Your Burning Questions, Part 3
Susie! A couple of tablespoons in an ejaculation?? Not even Ron Jeremy could do that. The average load is about 3cc, which is 1/5 of a tablespoon.
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bluebears
02/26/09

@PinkPundit: ok. I seriously was thinking, that sounds like A LOT but then I was like, well I'm not the sexpert...
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Mama Penguino
02/26/09

@PinkPundit: What are you doing with measuring spoons in the bedroom!
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im10ashus
02/26/09

In reply to Sexpert Susie Bright Answers Your Burning Questions, Part 3
The words "sex" and "burning" should never be in the same sentence. Ever.
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Khrushchev
02/26/09

@im10ashus: And yet they so often are.
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SarahMC
02/26/09

In reply to Sexpert Susie Bright Answers Your Burning Questions, Part 3
Jizz tastes no worse than brussel sprouts. And boyf is delusional if he thinks it's coming out like Ol' Faithful. It's nothing, honestly.
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Mama Penguino
02/26/09

@SarahMC: So you're saying it's just a matter of putting a little salt, pepper and butter on top? What about a nice cheese sauce? *wink wink*
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LindsayC: doctoral hilarity ensues
02/26/09

@Mama Penguino: If jizz tasted like cheese sauce, my husband would never make it out of bed.
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Mama Penguino
02/26/09

@LindsayC: doctoral hilarity not so funny, akshully.: I can see you now, kneeling before him, armed with Triscuits and a butter knife.
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LindsayC: doctoral hilarity ensues
02/26/09

@Mama Penguino: "OH YEAH! COME ON MY CRACKERS, BABY"
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iena
02/26/09

In reply to Sexpert Susie Bright Answers Your Burning Questions, Part 3
So kinda off topic, and I do apologize, but does anyone else get sick to their stomach when they swallow? 'Cause I do, and it freaks me out. Don't mind the taste, but my stomach hurts and growls (rather, roars angrily)for about an hour and half.
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MizJenkins
02/26/09

@iena: Yeah, I don't know why this is but apparently the angry beastie in my stomach does it's job well because the distress never gets as far as my intestines.
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bluebears
02/26/09

@iena: totally. honestly some people just can't stomach it. and its FINE.
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morninggloria
02/26/09

@iena: I may be alone, but I love the taste.
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stacyinbean
02/26/09

@iena: For me that only happens on an empty stomach but oh my goodness, YES.
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AwkwardTurtle
02/26/09

@morninggloria: you are a disgustin horrible slut whore.

my bf cut out refined sugars recently and its now something i'm into too. before that it was an act of love.
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morninggloria
02/26/09

@AwkwardTurtle: That's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me.
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greeneyedfem
02/26/09

In reply to Sexpert Susie Bright Answers Your Burning Questions, Part 3
I've known more than one transman to go through a period of curiosity about cisgendered men during/after their transitions. Like, they want to get close to the body they want/might have had growing up (i.e. what does a penis really feel like?).

If the guy he made out with is gay, it could also be validation that he's a hot guy, not a girl.

I think it's kinda two issues -- how's the relationship/sex between you? and what's going on with him that he might need to work out in terms of his sexuality/gender? The two might not necessarily reflect on each other.
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labeled
02/26/09

@greeneyedfem: You are much better at unsolicited advice than I. Much.
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Shamrockette
02/26/09

In reply to Sexpert Susie Bright Answers Your Burning Questions, Part 3
Thank you for answering the oral sex question!

Ever since the time my ex boyfriend came in my mouth without warning me, I've been way too scared to try it again, for fear of throwing up or gagging (I threw up on him; he broke up with me a few days later).

Is it just that some girls (and guys) can't handle the taste whatsoever? I believe I might be someone like that.

But I keep trying!
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bluebears
02/26/09

@Shamrockette: yeah, I don't do it. no guy who's ever been worth anything has cared. some people just have stronger gag reflexes/delicate stomachs.
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labeled
02/26/09

@Shamrockette: File this under "Advice I never thought I'd be sharing": If for whatever reason you are interested in trying it again, try to position his cock as far back in your mouth as is still comfortable, and as far away from your tastebuds as possible, but to where you can still actively swallow, not just get a kick in the uvula.
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MizJenkins
02/26/09

@Shamrockette: It's mind over matter, like getting used to the texture of sushi. When it comes right down to it the taste isn't really that bad...like Susie said it's not ice cream, but it doesn't taste much worse than say, the snot and phelgm you have to hork down when you're sick. I know that's not a tasty comparison either but y'know...body fluids.

@labeled: Absolutely. Swallowing properly is the quickest, cleanest way to get rid of jizz without tasting it too much. I have never understood why someone would keep it in their mouth and walk all the way to the bathroom.
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LindsayC: doctoral hilarity ensues
02/26/09

@labeled: I aim it up so that it doesn't hit the back of my throat. I also know my partner well enough to know exactly when it's coming how much is likely to be coming- based on the last time he blew his load, etc.

Related: The more you hang with a guy, the more used to his particular taste you get (at least I have found this to be the case).

Also, if you get a lot of spit mixed in there, it dilutes stuff and doesn't taste so... concentrated.

ALSO, as others have mentioned in this thread: make sure he's drinking plenty of water and eating nice tasting foods (like fruits). It makes a difference.
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Penny_Esq
02/26/09

@Shamrockette: Oh, this is my worst nightmare! I have a problem with feeling obligated to swallow - completely self-imposed - but it's SO hard to keep it down.
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LindsayC: doctoral hilarity ensues
02/26/09

@Penny_Esq: OoO this reminds me- never be afraid to ask for or get a drink of water. The worst part for me (and I love giving blow jobs, so take this with a grain of salt) is lying there afterwards feeling those last little dregs sticking to my throat. A big glug of water takes care of that.
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stacyinbean
02/26/09

@Shamrockette: I would suggest trying it in the shower. Also, that dude sounds like a giant tool. Be glad you're rid of him. But yeah, I would have told the girl in that question to definitely try it in the shower. It's very easy to spit out and clean your mouth out nice and quick, or if you want to swallow a few drops of water makes it a bit easier.
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funnyface
02/26/09

@Shamrockette: Do you think it was the taste, or you just got it in your mouth too deep and stimulated your gag reflex, much like a finger down the throat? Because you don't have to let him go that deep into your mouth-- your vagina is a lot deeper than your mouth, and a whole penis probably won't fit all that well if you have any sort of gag reflex. Only let him go as deep as you feel comfortable with (it's easier to control this if he is sitting/lying and you're the one doing most of the moving), and use your hand (better if it's lubed up a bit) to stimulate the rest of him.

If it was the taste, labeled has some good advice-- try to let the ejaculate go closer to the back of your mouth, away from the taste buds, and swallow ASAP as it's the quickest way to get the taste out of your mouth.
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SomeAuthorGirl
02/26/09

@Shamrockette: More from the advice front: concur with all the ladies who suggested water, shower, and spit. All work. I also know that the suggestion of "hey, warn me" so you can be prepared is a good one and has always worked for me. Men typically think it's kind of hot to announce their imminent orgasm, so it's a situation that has always worked for me.

I don't actually think it tastes bad. It's definitely not ice cream, but I think I've just gotten used to it.

Having a nice glug of wine or something alcoholic right afterward also does the trick of getting rid of the aftertaste.

Lastly, as if it needs any more saying: your ex was a prick and you are well rid of him. :)
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MizJenkins
02/26/09

@LindsayC: doctoral hilarity not so funny, akshully.: Yes!! It never hurts to have a chaser.
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Penny_Esq
02/26/09

@LindsayC: doctoral hilarity not so funny, akshully.: I will give the guys I give blowjobs to this, they have universally, each and every one of them, asked if they could get me water immediately post-beej. And it is definitely helpful.
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The Queen of No
02/26/09

@Shamrockette: I think you either love it, hate it, or you do it because you want them to enjoy it. If it's the last one, you seriously have to psyche yourself up for it. I don't like the taste, but I position his dick so he comes down my throat and it's less gross and more just warm.
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sybann
02/26/09

In reply to Sexpert Susie Bright Answers Your Burning Questions, Part 3
I'm an old fart prude and sorta love these 2 - and I could never talk to my mother this way.
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argle-bargle? or fou-ferraw?
02/26/09

@sybann: i love them too! i don't agree with everything, but i love how they can communicate about these things. it's really refreshing, especially when i think about my relationship with my mother.
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Mama Penguino
02/26/09

@argle-bargle? or fou-ferraw?: And they're especially cute for having sex-talk boundaries with one another.
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kelsium
02/26/09

In reply to Sexpert Susie Bright Answers Your Burning Questions, Part 3
If you don't like guys coming in your mouth I find a well-timed "Come on my tits!" works wonders. I mean, there's gonna be clean-up no matter what, so whatever.
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Mama Penguino
02/26/09

@kelsium: I'd like to see someone say, "come in this well-placed pie tin!" or "come in this nice Tupperware container!" or even "Come in this portable urinal!"
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AwkwardTurtle
02/26/09

@Mama Penguino: For the right guy that might be just as sexy as come on my tits.
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kelsium
02/26/09

@Mama Penguino: "Come in this limited edition Barbie musical jewelry box!"
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Mama Penguino
02/26/09

@kelsium: OMG, snorting here!

"Come in this brightly-colored felt Dora the Explorer Easter basket!"
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kelsium
02/26/09

@Mama Penguino: "Come in this artisan bread-bowl!"
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Mama Penguino
02/26/09

@kelsium: "Come in this Longaberger basket lined with festive red gingham fabric!"
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kelsium
02/26/09

@Mama Penguino: "Oh, baby! Come in this Faberge egg!"
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Mama Penguino
02/26/09

@kelsium: "Come in this Precious Moments tote bag!"
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kelsium
02/26/09

@Mama Penguino: Ha! I forgot Precious Moments existed! So much funny; you win!
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MizJenkins
02/26/09

@Mama Penguino: @kelsium: OMG. HILARIOUS!!! This is the first time on Jez I have ever actually LOL'd until my sides hurt. You are both friended forever.
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kelsium
02/26/09

@MizJenkins: Ditto!
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Mama Penguino
02/26/09

@kelsium: Yay, a triumvirate of friends!
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morninggloria
02/26/09

In reply to Sexpert Susie Bright Answers Your Burning Questions, Part 3
I wish I had a relationship question that occurred in real life; my problem lately has been that EVERY NIGHT I dream that Boyfriend is cheating on me.
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Khrushchev
02/26/09

@morninggloria: My boyfriend always dreams that I'm cheating on him, so let's figure this out together.
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bluebears
02/26/09

@morninggloria: DUDE. ugh, I had a dream last night that me and BFs ex were at a ren fair (i don't know) and by show of applause the crowd decided who was prettier and I got no applause. :( in my dream she was wearing a sexy wench costume and I was wearing what I was sleeping in last night. I woke up PISSED and when I told the BF he openly laughed. I was like, yeah...TOO SOON.
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kelsium
02/26/09

@Khrushchev: Yeah, my boyfriend always dreams that I'm cheating on him, too. What's up with that?
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captainhaddock
02/26/09

@morninggloria: I have intense dreams like this too. Sometimes they explore situations (i.e. my long-distance BF not really giving a shit anymore) that my waking mind is too timid for.

Dreams never have meant anything to me unless they've been about a relationship.
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Scout
02/26/09

@captainhaddock: I find it interesting that most dreams go unnoticed UNLESS it touches upon our insecurities ... I have tons of dreams which I barely acknowledge UNTIL they become about infidelity and/or abandonment...then I think they are trying to tell me something.

is there some internal conflict going on with you?

PS: i'm sorry you are having them
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Penny_Esq
02/26/09

@bluebears: I am picturing the scene in Princess Bride where Buttercup walks through the crowd. I'm sure if you'd been asleep for just a little longer, the old crone would've started jeering at the ex-gf.
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AwkwardTurtle
02/26/09

@morninggloria: I've had that dream and then I end up pissed at him in the morning for his dream actions. Fucker.
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morninggloria
02/26/09

@AwkwardTurtle: Once we were napping on a weekend afternoon, and I woke up and actually got out of bed and started crying and getting dressed to leave. He was like wha? It took me a couple of minutes before I realized that the dream was not real.
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Klobasa, Esq
02/26/09

@morninggloria: What about the dreams in which you unwittingly cheat on your boyfriend and wake up with epic guilt?
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morninggloria
02/26/09

@Klobasa, Esq: I had one of those the other night. It was just terrible.
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Penny_Esq
02/26/09

In reply to Sexpert Susie Bright Answers Your Burning Questions, Part 3
If I were Allyson, the problem for me would be my SO kissing other people, regardless of gender. And it wouldn't be a "jealousy" thing, it would be a "fidelity" thing. I take some umbrage at the idea that being drunk excuses that kind of behavior, but of course, this isn't my relationship and I can't know what parameters they've set. Still, the fact that Allyson would kick him to the curb if he were a bio-dude suggests she likewise isn't down with her boyfriends kissing other people, drunk or no. Doesn't necessarily mean their sex life is in the tank, either; people cheat for all kinds of reasons including emotional ones.
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