[Seville, December 14. Image via INF]

1. Jennifer Aniston/2. Brad Pitt, Y2K: When this picture was taken in February of 2000, Pitt and Aniston had been dating for roughly two years. Just a few months later, the two were married, a union that lasted until 2005, when the couple split and Pitt moved on to Angelina Jolie. The story was a tabloid dream come true, with lurid tales of Pitt, Jolie, and Aniston creating a soap opera storyline that's still being played out, nearly 5 years later: just this week, Star Magazine ran a cover declaring that Jennifer Aniston was finally ready for baby..."with Brad's help!"


3. Angelina Jolie, Y2K: But the Brangelina storm hadn't swept through Jolie's life in 2000; at that point, she was married to Billy Bob Thornton, and delighting/horrifying the press with tales of their torrid love affair. Jolie claimed that she wore a vial of Thornton's blood around her neck, and the two weren't shy about discussing their sex life on the red carpet. By 2002, Jolie had adopted her first child, Maddox, and by 2003, Thornton and Jolie had divorced.


Jennifer Aniston, 2009: Aniston has spent the better part of the decade living in the tabloids; after Friends went off the air in 2004, she segued into a movie career, though the public seemed more interested in the scandal surrounding her divorce from Pitt. She has been painted as "lonely" and "desperate" by many a tabloid magazine, even though she's dated several famous men, including John Mayer and Vince Vaughn. Though the Brangelaniston blitz shows no signs of slowing, Aniston continues to make films and most likely hopes that the world moves past her 5-year-old divorce as we enter a new decade.


Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie, 2009: Jolie and Pitt, arguably the world's most famous couple, have gone on to have three biological children together; Pitt has also adopted Jolie's adopted children, and all of their children share the surname "Jolie-Pitt." The couple have devoted much of their energy to charity work through their Jolie/Pitt Foundation. and, like Aniston, I assume, to trying to break out of the Brangelina media blitz. Jolie, who 10 years ago spent time discussing the vials of blood around her neck, has since become a UN Goodwill Ambassador and is well-known for her humanitarian efforts.


4. Britney Spears, Y2K: Britney was on top of the world in 2000, riding the success of her second album, Oops...I Did It Again. In 2001, she performed her now-infamous "I'm A Slave 4U" dance at the MTV Video Music Awards, snake, see-thru bodysuit, and all, but things started to come off the rails in 2002, when her relationship with Justin Timberlake came to an end. Timberlake's solo career skyrocketed with songs about how Britney did him wrong, and Spears' career, and carefully marketed sexy virgin image, began to crumble.


In 2004, Spears married Kevin Federline (it was technically her first marriage, after an ill-advised 24 hour marriage to a childhood friend in Vegas). The marriage would produce two sons for Spears, Sean Preston and Jayden James, but it would also produce a number of disturbing problems.


By 2008, Spears and Federline had divorced, and Spears' erratic behavior had cost her custody of her two children. She spent most of her time in court or driving around Los Angeles, wearing wigs and stopping at gas stations and Starbucks shops. Spears' behavior become increasingly bizarre, with the pop star shaving her head on camera and giving a disastrous performance at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards. After she was hospitalized twice for psychiatric reasons, her father, Jamie Spears, won the right to a conservatorship over his daughter. Spears' career and personal life were then intensely monitored and controlled by her father.


Britney Spears, 2009: By 2009, Spears' personal life and career appear to be back on track; she embarked on a world tour behind her successful record, Circus, has extended visitation rights with her children, and her conservatorship may end soon, leaving her in control of her own destiny for the first time in years. Hopefully, the next decade will be a little easier for Britney than the last one was.


5. Beyonce Knowles, Y2K: Beyonce, circa Y2K, was still with her group, Destiny's Child, figure skating across America, recording hits like "Independent Woman, Part 1" for the Charlie's Angels soundtrack. After several successful Destiny's Child singles like "Bootylicious," (which she co-wrote) Beyonce decided that we were, in fact, ready for this jelly, and decided to strike out on her own with her 2003 album, "Dangerously In Love." Destiny's Child split in 2005, and Knowles' solo career has been going strong ever since.


Beyonce Knowles, 2009: By 2009, Knowles had established a wildly successful solo career, introduced the world to her alter-ego, Sasha Fierce, married long-time boyfriend Jay-Z in a private ceremony, and branched out into acting with roles in Dreamgirls and Cadillac Records. Her video for "Single Ladies" is perhaps one of the most memorable videos of 2009, if not the entire decade.


6. Tom Cruise & 7. Nicole Kidman, Y2K:Though it seems a bit hard to picture at this point, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman started the decade as a married couple; in 2001, they'd split after 11 years of marriage.


Nicole Kidman, 2009: Kidman's career skyrocketed after her divorce from Cruise; in 2003, she received the Academy Award for Best Actress for her portrayal of Virginia Woolf in The Hours. Kidman went on to marry country music star Keith Urban in 2006, and in 2008 the couple had a daughter together named Sunday Rose.


Tom Cruise, 2009: Tom Cruise's career hasn't fared as well as his ex-wife's this decade. His career tanked following an incredibly weird series of television appearance, such as a Today show appearance wherein he called Matt Lauer "glib" and accused him of not understanding the history of psychiatry like Cruise did, as well a now-infamous appearance on the Oprah Winfrey show during which Cruise jumped on Oprah's couch to declare his love for actress Katie Holmes, whom he married in 2006. The couple's marriage that year, as well as the birth of their daughter, Suri, has made them a tabloid favorite ever since, with Tom's association with Scientology often overshadowing both of their acting careers.


8. Whitney Houston, Y2K: Whitney started the decade with a Grammy Award for Best R&B Female Vocal Performance, but her career faltered as the decade went on. Accusations of drug use ("crack is wack") swirled around her marriage, which was documented for a depressing reality show called Being Bobby Brown, which showed a side of Houston the public had never seen before (and gave The Soup one of its favorite catchphrases). Houston divorced Brown in 2006, went to rehab for what she now admits was drug addiction, and began to get her career together.


Whitney Houston, 2009: In 2009, Houston returned with her album, I Look To You, discussed the difficulties of the past decade in a tell-all interview with Oprah and received a standing ovation at the American Music Awards following a performance of "I Didn't Know My Own Strength."


9. Lindsay Lohan, Y2K:, Lohan, shown here in 2001, began the decade under the Disney umbrella, starring in films like Freaky Friday and Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. Her breakthrough came with 2004's Mean Girls and the release of her first album, Speak, though troubles in her personal life soon seemed to follow, with the actress being accused of having everything from an eating disorder to self-harming issues to drug addiction.


Lindsay Lohan, 2009: It has not been a great second half of the decade for Lohan; her last few years in the press have been dominated family troubles, her on again-off again relationship with Samantha Ronson, rumors of violent and erratic behavior, and film duds like I Know Who Killed Me and the straight-to-television Labor Pains. Yet Hollywood loves a comeback story, so we'll have to see what the next decade has in store for Lilo.


10. Joaquin Phoenix, Y2K: Phoenix started the decade by scoring an Academy Award nomination for his performance in Gladiator; a second nomination would come in 2005 for his portrayal of Johnny Cash in Walk The Line. In 2008, he shifted gears and began focusing on his rap career, which confused pretty much everyone.


Joaquin Phoenix, 2009: By 2009, Phoenix claimed he was retiring from acting to work on his rap career full-time. He discussed his plans during a now-infamous appearance on the Late Show with David Letterman, appearing completely out-of-it and nearly unrecognizable behind shades and a grizzled beard. Phoenix claims his rap career is "not a joke," and his transformation from actor to rapper is being filmed for an upcoming documentary by his brother-in-law, Casey Affleck. Whether or not Phoenix's career change will be successful (or if it's all an elaborate hoax) is yet to be seen, but I suppose all will be revealed at some point during the next decade. After all, you never know what can happen in just 10 years.

[Seville, Spain; December 8. Image via INF]

[Seville, Spain; December 6. Image via Flynet.]

• Katie Holmes doesn't see anything wrong with 3-year-old Suri wearing high heels. "Like every little girl, she loves my high heels," says Katie. "They're actually ballroom dancing shoes for kids... I found them for her and she loves them." [Us]

• Katie Holmes didn't do much cooking on Thanksgiving. "I do love to bake, but this year my sisters did all the baking and I just sort of enjoyed it," said Holmes. "I ate all of their baking!" [Extra]
• Tiger Woods won't play at the Chevron World Challenge golf tournament this week due to "injuries sustained in a one-car accident last week." He posted a statement on his website saying, "I am extremely disappointed that I will not be at my tournament this week ... I am certain it will be an outstanding event and I'm very sorry that I can't be there." [TMZ]
• A source claims Tiger Woods yelled at his wife "You've ruined our Thanksgiving! Are you happy now?" before storming out and crashing his car early Friday morning. His neighbor Joy Williamson says, "Everything has to be perfect for Tiger. Something at home must have upset him. I think he was probably just furious about something, got in that big Escalade and drove off." [Radar Online]
• The security cameras at Tiger Woods' home caught him leaving and the Florida Highway Patrol wants the tapes. [TMZ]
• Two Florida Highway Patrol troopers visited the hospital where Tiger Woods was treated on Friday morning. Witnesses say they were looking for information about his visit, though they aren't formally seeking a warrant yet. [TMZ]
• An eyewitness says at the scene of the accident Tiger Woods was unconscious on the ground and had a bloody cut on his lower lip. His wife Elin Nordgren was upset and brought out two pill bottles when EMTs asked if he was on any medications. [TMZ]
• Jude Law and Sienna Miller: Totally back on. They were offered a seat at the back of a New York restaurant on Thanksgiving night, but decided to sit in the front where everyone could see them kissing. [Perez Hilton]
• "They came in holding hands and kept touching each other and kissing throughout the entire meal," says a source. "They had no problem flaunting their love right in the middle of the restaurant. They definitely looked like they were head-over-heels for each other." [Star]
• Ojani Noa's agent threatened to file the 11 hours of racy home video he took while married to Jennifer Lopez as public evidence. J.Lo's lawyer responded that his "attempt to romanticize his threatened unlawful conduct and turn it into a Jimmy Stewart movie does not make his conduct any less illegal or make him any less culpable." He pointed out that making the videos public would violate a temporary restraining order. Both parties are due back in court tomorrow. [Radar Online]
• Chris Judd, Jennifer Lopez's other ex-husband, married Kelly A. Wolfe last week. [Us]
• There's a picture of White House party crasher Michaele Salahi attending a 2005 event for former Washington Redskins cheerleaders, but the team has no record of her being part of the squad. [TMZ]
• Countess LuAnn de Lesseps of The Real Houswives of New York said of the incident, "I was surprised that they got in. That's the most unbelievable thing: that they were able to get through. I do believe that Bravo really didn't know... I believe these people said that they were invited, they kind of made them believe that, and then they got in!" [N.Y. Magazine]
• Roman Polanski won't be released into house arrest at his Alpine chalet for a few more days, according to the French consul. Polanski still hasn't deposited his $4.5 million bail and the electronic monitors need to be set up. [Reuters]
• French diplomat Jean-Luc Faure-Tournaire visited Roman Polanski in jail today and reported, "He is in good spirits. He is very happy about how he has been treated here." [AP]
• Law enforcement sources say the decision on whether criminal charges will be made against Dr. Conrad Murray for Michael Jackson's death is "months rather than weeks away." [Reuters]
• Brittany Murphy was fired from a film she was shooting in Puerto Rico because she was being difficult on set. She was replaced by Twilight's Rachelle Lefevre. In a possibly related incident, Murphy's husband Simon Monjack got into a fight with some locals, then seemed "incoherent" when he arrived back at LAX. [Perez Hilton]
• Lady Gaga slipped at a performance in Canada. She got up immediately and kept dancing. Video here: [TMZ]
• Police say Anthony Michael Hall bit his girlfriend Diana Falzone's forehead and "pushed, shoved and spit at her" during a fight earlier this month at her apartment. The next day he came back drunk and banged on her door until police removed him. She obtained a temporary restraining order against him. [Radar Online]
• Pete Doherty has apologized for singing the Nazi anthem "Deutschland, Deutschland ueber alles" during a Munich concert that was broadcast live on Saturday. He was booed offstage and threw his mic at the moderator after she asked him to leave. "He was unaware of the controversy surrounding the German national anthem and he deeply apologizes if he has caused any offence," said Doherty's spokeswoman. [Reuters]
• Adam Shankman, the director of the upcoming film adaptation of the musical Rock of Ages, says the rumors that Miley Cyrus will star in the film aren't true. "It's way too soon," Shankman said. "I love it, though. She went to see the show and she loved it and then I had to email her and say, 'I hear you're starring in my movie. Fantastic! Congratulations!' It was just so crazy. She saw the show and that was all." [E!]
• Q: "Did you catch any flak for doing those raunchy GoDaddy commercials? Danica Patrick: "Like I said, they are incredibly successful and are growing every year. They definitely know how to direct traffic to the Web site and drive their business. I'm excited to be part of a successful company." [AdWeek]
• While speaking to a group of secondary school students at a workshop on homophobic bullying, Sir Ian McKellen said, "Being gay was a topic that was never mentioned when I was your age. We had not really invented the word gay - at school I used to be called Oscar, after Oscar Wilde. If you were gay there was nowhere to go and no one to talk to, there was no other gay person as far as I knew. So to come back to school for the first time in 50 years and see this is heartening, to see that as a nation we have so rapidly grown up. When I was 29 it was illegal for me to make love, I had a boyfriend and we slept together but the law said that we should be in prison. It was very hard to walk out in the street and say to him don't touch me or brush your hand against mine, there may be a police man around the corner." [The Telegraph]

Ok!
"I'll Love Him Forever." This article, titled "Our Love Story," is about how Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are "like an old married couple." Why? Because they would drive to the set of Eclipse together, and, when headed home, one would wait for the other to get out of wardrobe and makeup. Oh, and Rob is like a "human magnet" for Kristen. They love each other, etc. BREAKING: Heels are not rain boots, Suri Cruise! (See image 7) Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom are "prepping for parenthood" by getting a dog. Lindsay Lohan has been partying all night every night in the last few days. The source here is a paparazzo who follows LL. He says: "After 4, 5, 6 in the morning, she's really crazy. She screams and yells and says very mean things, even though she knows us very well." Maybe she doesn't want to be followed at 5 am? Anyway, another "friend" says Lindsay refuses to go to rehab: "We ask, we beg, but she won't listen."
Grade: F (headlice)

Us
"Her Secret Deal."
Katie Holmes is sad and lonely because she's "committed herself" to a seven-year contract and Tom tells her what to wear, how to cut her hair and when to work out. "He even told her to be pale like Nicole [Kidman]," says a source. Meanwhile, Suri is 3 going on 30 with her heels and San Pelligrino and so on. As for Katie, the mag says her "situation" will "not improve until November 2013," when her contract is up. Moving on: Recently at a West Hollywood nightclub, Lindsay Lohan shouted at two photographers: "Why don't you go find my dad? He's the one who wants the pictures." Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale are stalking the stork; a source says: "Gwen has told friends she's trying for another baby." In Rob and Kristen news, they ordered the same thing for room service breakfast recently — and had it delivered to one room, which means, OMG, he slept over. A hotel staffer adds, "They were already dressed when room service was delivered." You can practically feel the magazine's disappointment! In case you're unsure of the milestones in the "Robsten" relationship, Us has provided a handy timeline (See image 8). Jon Gosselin is threatening to have a showdown on Thanksgiving because Kate Gosselin plans to invite her bodyguard, Steve Neild. A source says Jon's jealous: "Even though he knows it's over with Kate, he still can't stand the thought of her being with another man, especially Steve." Another source says Kate's constantly on the phone with Steve, "smiling like a teenager" and "I haven't heard her yell in two weeks." Lastly, Jennifer Aniston and two friends flew via private jet to the One & Only Palmilla resort in Cabo San Lucas. "On Aniston's agenda? Morning yoga sessions, lying by the pool, and being waited on hand and foot."
Grade: F (peeling scalp)

Life & Style
"Tears, Joy, And Drama At The Baby Shower."
While the magazine does not flat-out claim that it sponsored Kourtney Kardashian's baby shower, the guests drank from soda bottles decorated with with Kourtney's Life & Style cover (See image 9). And the magazine says: "Life & Style and Simmons jewelry company gave Kourtney a limited edition Hello Kitty necklace made from white gold, enamel and diamonds." Price? $950. There were 84 guests at the party, and they got chocolate Louboutin shoes and swag bags — it was a publicity event, not a baby shower. Each sister gave an exclusive interview to the magazine, which is where the "drama" comes in — Khloe and Kim used to hate Kourtney's baby daddy Scott Disick, because he was accused of cheating on Kourtney, but now they like him, because "he's done small things" like putting the crib together. And he got a job. With QuickTrim. For which the Kardashians are spokesmodels. Moving on: Michael Lohan is trashing Jon Gosselin and the way he treated Kate Major: "You sleep with a woman, you gain her confidence by saying you're going to hire her, then you use her like that?I spoke to Stephanie Santoro, and it was the same thing." Here are three ways Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are copying Angelina and Brad: First they denied they were in a relationship; then they get people used to the idea of them as a couple with an intimate photo shoot in a fashion magazine; then they GRADUALLY show PDA (see image 10). Also inside: Michael Lohan says: "I will not release another audio tape about Lindsay. I did it because I wanted Lindsay to know how I felt when I heard that tape. When I get a phone call at 2, 3, 4, 5 in the morning from my daughter and she's in dire straits, I get very concerned." Lastly: Michael Jackson's funeral cost $1,146,518.62, and the mag itemizes that receipt for you (See image 11).
Grade: D- (clumps of hair falling out)

In Touch
"Yes! They'll Reunite!"
Re: The cover image: Do you love how they are Photoshopped together, with her arm disappearing into his chest? The cover copy reads: "Jen waits for Brad at the resort they love." But inside, what they mean is: She went to a hotel in Mexico she'd been to with Brad and "waited" for him to text her. "After a few glasses of wine on November 13, his pal reveals that Jen ducked away from her group of friends and exchanged a series of text messages with Brad that crossed the line from friendly to downright flirtatious." Oh, and you know how two tell-all books about Brangelina are coming out? Angelina's "tarnished" image is driving Brad away, and he thinks she's brought this on herself because of her addiction to attention. The copy reads: "Brad isn't worried about how the books will affect Angelina, but how they might hurt their children." A source says: "Maddox is old enough to Google his mom now, and Brad is afraid he'll get hurt." Jen's friend says: "Brad seems haggard. All Jen wants to to when she sees him is give him a big hug and tell him he'll be fine." Oh, and Brad and Jen have reconnected over Norman, Jen's sick dog — who used to be Brad's dog, too. Also inside: Geena Davis may have put on 50 lbs. Jennifer Garner may have lost 35 lbs. Britney Spears is in a "race to the altar." She's expecting Jason Trawick to propose over Christmas, and she wants to get married in the summer of 2010. Wait, is that a race? She wants bridesmaids, a gown and a four-tiered cake — a traditional wedding. (What, no pimps and hos sweatsuits?) "Britney wants to tie the knot ASAP to insure that Jason won't leave her again." She also wants her dad's conservatorship to end. Oh, and her dad wants her to start on another album after her tour, while Jason wants her to take a break — and he thinks her family is using her. Next: When Sarah Palin was on Oprah's show, things backstage were "tense." Did Nicole Kidman have a boob job? (See image 12) BREAKING: Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson were spotted getting off of a plane in Paris and HOLDING HANDS. "She grinned from ear to ear and snuggled into him happily," a source says. "They're obviously a couple and definitely in love." During their European trip, they booked separate rooms, but she ordered breakfast and coffee for two the day after they arrived. Lastly: a 41-year-old man named Matthew Roberts was adopted as a baby and found his birth mom in 1997, and she told him he was conceived when she was raped during a drug-fueled orgy involving Charles Manson and four other men. Why this story is here we have no idea, but the guy does look like Manson. (See image 13)
Grade: D- (matted hair)

Star
"Katie's $15 Million Tell All."
Since her contract expires on November 18 (TODAY), Katie is "prepared to pen an explosive and embarrassing exposé" of her life behind closed doors. She COULD get $15 million for her confessions. Like: They have separate bedrooms, and she says it's because Tom snores loudly, but Katie has hinted that they've never slept the whole night together. Tom likes it when Katie wears sexy lingerie, and Tom likes to "parade around the house in military uniforms," similar to the ones he wore in Top Gun, A Few Good Men and Valkyrie. "It makes him feel handsome," according to a source. Tom spends hours each day in front of the mirror, checking out his wrinkles and love handles. He also waxes his chest regularly and gets colonics. Tom lets Suri do whatever she wants and has already had to replace mahogany paneling twice in six months, because he lets her draw pictures on the walls. And! "Katie may also decide to go public about Tom's secret Scientology mobile unit. It's a black American-made van that looks like a regular vehicle on the outside, but inside it's fitted with high tech gadgets, monitors and computer equipment worth of a spy flick." A source says Tom spends a ton of time in the van: "It's how he keeps in touch with Scientologists all over the world. It's padded on the inside, so that no one can hear anything on the outside. Not too many people get to see the inside of this thing." Moving on: Did Kim Kardashian get a nose job? (See image 14). Rihanna is a "carbo-loader" who insists on fast-food feasts. And just so you know, Lady Gaga requests a hot, whole roast chicken in her tour rider. Precious star Gabby Sidibe is featured in a piece called "She's Got Style" and the copy reads, "she's a pro when it comes to turning heads." Seriously, there is not ONE crack about her weight from the magazine which does "Best & Worst Beach Bodies" regularly. (See image 15). Drew Barrymore has kicked Justin Long out of her apartment because he's a slob and started acting like a Frat boy, leaving his stuff all over the place. Someone told Jennifer Aniston that her ex, Adam Duritz, was on his way to a party — with his new ladyfriend, Emmy Rossum — so Jen "bolted out the back door." Bruce Willis took his wife Emma Heming to dinner and the owner of the restaurant mistook her for one of his daughters. Blind item! "Which actor plays a loving dad and hubby on TV, but likes to play the field in real life? While his wife cares for their kid, he hits NYC hot spots, trying to pick up young chicks." Khloe Kardashian was spotted picking up half a dozen pregnancy tests at Rite- Aid. In Brad & Angie news, they visited a museum, and the story goes, "They were so inspired by the beauty all around them that they babbled about their future family plans." Angie said: "I have a mosaic in my house. I have ancient cultures, and we celebrate everything. This year, we're doing Christmas, Kwanzaa and even Hanukkah." When asked if she was going to have one more kid, Angie said "I'm always thinking about it. I would love to." Brad said: "You never know." Fantasia Barrino's fans are upset because she is dating a married father of two who left his wife and kids to move in with her. He used to work in a T-mobile store and now Fantasia has his name tattooed on her chest. Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake went to a Jay-Z show and guess who came out to sing "Run This Town"? Rihanna. Seeing her was "like a knife" in Jessica's heart, but Justin danced and sang along. "Jessica stood there like a fool… trying not to cry." The New Moon promotional tour took Rob to Japan and Kristen to South America, and when they were apart, Rob realized he couldn't live without Kristen. So then there's some stuff in here for the Twihards: When Rob and Kristen stayed in that hotel in Paris, he arranged for the staff to place dozens of roses around the room — there were flower petals covering the floor and bed and lit candles everywhere when she walked in. The two are planning to get married once all the Twilight craze dies down. Which is never. They might elope in London. Finally: "Wow, Jen's New Bikini Body" is about how in Mexico, Ms. Aniston's belly was slightly rounder and she ate everything she wanted: "Could she be getting ready to be a mom?" A source says Jen's been hooking up with John Mayer — and they haven't always been careful. The "pal" reminds us: "Just because she's single doesn't mean she can't get pregnant!"
Grade: D+ (dandruff)

From Ok!

From Us

From Life & Style

From Life & Style

From Life & Style

From In Touch

From In Touch

From Star

From Star

[New York, November 8. Image via INF]

It's serious, people. Here's how the Telegraph puts it: "A study has shown that the wearing of inappropriate outfits is a serious problem for playgroups because the wrong dress can seriously disrupt a whole class." No, we're not talking baby minis and fishnets, but rather insufficiently warm wraps or fancy duds that are most definitely not play-clothes. Sadly, some kids are apparently worried about "ruining" nice outfits by playing in them. And, as the study's authors don't need to point out, playing is a really good thing for all kinds of physical and social reasons. Dr Kristen Copeland, who oversaw the study, said "stricter guidelines were needed "so that children's active play opportunities aren't curtailed". What would the guidelines be? "No Little Marc Jacobs or any other garment made for a swiftly-growing child that costs more than said child's tuition?"

The sad thing, according to EurekAlert, is that "the study shows that parents may need education about the importance and benefits of active play for children's development" - and this isn't benign neglect we're talking about, as much as specific instructions not to ruin fancy clothes. Maybe the fact that the price of fancy kid gear has stayed static even as other clothing has gone down has made it more of a prestige item than ever. But take heart: the luxury kids' market is actually on the wane. And if that's good for our children's physical and mental development, well, score one for the Recession. (We're guessing though that, if this is indicative of the parents' priorities, dressing the kids in Osh-Kosh isn't going to solve all problems.) Suri, however, will probably maintain her impeccable aesthetic, and now the tabs can bolster their faux sanctimony with a few "experts" while they're at it.

Designer Baby Clothes Could Stop Children Playing [Daily Telegraph]
All Dressed-Up And Nowhere To Go [EurekAlert]
Buying Recession Proof Kids Clothing [NordicDesign]
High-End Kids Clothes Languish [Wall Street Journal]

[Boston, October 26. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Boston, October 12. Image via Getty]

• "No one wants to see curvy women," says Karl Lagerfeld, who has struggled with his weight. "You've got fat mothers with their bags of chips sitting in front of the television and saying that thin models are ugly." [News.com.au]

• Meanwhile, Christian Louboutin gave Barbie a much-needed slimming treatment. The three dolls the designer is releasing will have an all-new morphology, because the shoe man "found her ankles were too fat," reports a spokesperson. [WWD]
• Heidi Klum says becoming a Barbie was "a dream come true." There's a horror movie in that somewhere. [People]
• Tom Cruise says sweet, underminey things to Katie Holmes about her clothes, like, "I think that dress might be wearing you." The only question remaining is: Is he responsible for Suri's clothing choices? [NYDN]
• Trovata and Forever 21 have settled their copyright infringement lawsuit, just days before a second trial was to begin. The terms are confidential. Despite being sued more than 50 times, Forever 21 had never faced a jury prior to the Trovata case; Trovata had sought a multi-million-dollar judgment against Forever 21 for knocking off its shirts, but the first trial in May ended in a mistrial when six jurors sided with Trovata and one sided with Forever 21. [WWD]
• The Daily Mail did a hilarious write-around on Dov Charney, The Sleazy Sexual Predator Behind High Street Store American Apparel. Wait till they realize that the "model" in the lace bodysuit ad they hold up for particular condemnation — "it is the kind of photograph which would send shivers down the spine of anyone with a teenage daughter" — is in fact an actual porn star named Faye Valentine. We can't wait for the blistering, "exclusive" follow-up. [Daily Mail]
• Marc Jacobs: "I think the idea of people being exposed, whether it's stylists who have their reality shows or whatever, is just the way of the world. It's every chef, every stylist, every hairdresser, everybody who's doing plastic surgery. We're in a period where people are entertained by what they consider to be the real lives of people in different professions, etc. And fashion has also reached this kind of proportion like football or sport, you know — a spectator sport." [WWD]
• W magazine is reducing its frequency from 12 to 6 issues per year. This is fueling rumors that Condé Nast might be interested in buying American Elle. [FWD]
• Ugg Australia is releasing a "limited-edition" kids collection as a tie-in for the Where The Wild Things Are movie. Half the proceeds will go to St. Jude's Research Hospital. Which means half will go to making more ugly Uggs. [WWD]
• Levi's is snapping up young(ish), hip(ish) artists of both coasts in the scramble for sales: after having Ryan McGinley shoot its new ad campaign, the company has announced that printmaker extraordinaire Shepard Fairey will have a capsule collection in stores by the end of this month under the label Obey x Levi's. [WWD]
• Turns out that with the move to selling exclusively at J.C. Penney, Liz Claiborne isn't closing the Claiborne by John Bartlett line — it's just firing two-time CFDA-winner John Bartlett less than halfway into his three-year contract. [WWD]
• Meanwhile, the Upper East Side has hatched another fashion label. Two people who really need the money — socialites Gigi Mortimer and Courtney Moss — want us to buy $199 rabbit fur neck warmers and $315 fox fur gloves. Oh, look: Kelly Killoren Bensimon is all over their website! [WWD]
• Women's Wear Daily puts on its thinking cap to investigate this question for the ages: Has fashion lost its mystique? Is it the reality television? Is it the Internet? Is it Marc Jacobs inviting reporters to work out with him? The story quotes an Internet commenter, and Valentino. [WWD]
• Diane von Furstenberg is mounting an exhibition of her life's work in Moscow later this month. It will include garments she designed, artifacts, and portraits of her by artists including Warhol and Horst. [WWD]

• Lady Gaga, Gay Activist! She "was the highest-wattage celebrity to attend both the Human Rights Campaign dinner Saturday night and the National Equality March on Sunday." Reporter Dan Zak writes:

"Nearby rally-goers screeched her name. She had marched with the crowds from her hotel after shrugging off security concerns, and had just finished a short speech to an enraptured throng of tens of thousands on the West Lawn. Glittery signs reading 'Gay for Gaga' and 'Lady Gaga {heart} Equality, U Should 2' poked up from the rainbowed masses." "I will never turn my back on my friends," said Lady Gaga, before disappearing from the rally. "Today is not a one-off performance."She also said: "In the music industry there's still a tremendous amount of accommodation of homophobia," she said. "So I'm taking a stand… I'm not going to play one of my songs tonight because tonight is not about me. It's about you." She sang John Lennon's "Imagine," but changed some of the lyrics. [WaPo]

• Miley Cyrus and her sister Brandi ate $70 worth of meat and mac 'n cheese at the Outback Steakhouse in Burbank last week. Miley paid with a $100 bill… and kept the change. Her spokesperson explains: She didn't know she was supposed to tip unless she was eating inside." Pardon? When has that ever been the case? [Rush & Molloy]
• Christina Hendricks married Geoffrey Arend — he was hilarious in 500 Days Of Summer! — at Il Buco restaurant in New York on Sunday. Congrats! [People]
• Jon Gosselin says that he wasn't the only one who took cash out of the joint account; Jon filed papers claiming Kate withdrew over $60,000 from their joint account between July and September 2009. But a source says Kate's transactions were legal; Jon didn't have permission. [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin believes that Kate has control of more than one million dollars and that if she doesn't have a job, it's not his fault. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Jon Gosselin will light a menorah this year, partly because of gf Hailey Glassman. "This is the first year I will celebrate Chanukah. Everyone in my life is Jewish now, my attorney. I love it. I'm now half Jewish and half Korean. The family values are great… They gave her a free tummy tuck, worth $20 grand." I'm sure I'm not alone here when I say: Oy. [Rush & Molloy]
• Dina Lohan says that Lindsay's brother Michael is on academic scholarship at Ithaca (college)… and "He's also is doing a movie!" This paper reacts with the headline, "Oh no! Not another one!" [The Sun]
• Katie Holmes wants to send Suri to Catholic School, and noted Scientologist Tom Cruise is okay with it. Suri is already enrolled in Catholic Charities Yawkey Centre For Early Education And Learning in Boston, where Tom is filming the movie Wichita. [Daily Mail]
• Angelina Jolie is in talks to replace Charlize Theron in the thriller The Tourist. [JustJared]
• Prince Harry and Chelsy Davy: So on. [People]
• Nick Cannon is married to Mariah Carey. He's also a stand-up comic, a rapper, an actor, a D.J., a screenwriter and a television host and the chairman Nickelodeon's TeenNick division. [NY Times]
• At the BET Hip-Hop awards on Saturday, T.I. won, though he is in prison; Jay-Z was honored as MVP of the year; the late DJ AM won "DJ of the Year." Kanye West did not attend. The show airs October 27. [AP]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Kourtney Kardashian is expecting a baby boy. [NY Daily News]
• Mad Men's John Slattery doesn't want a garbage trucks garage in his New York neighborhood. [AP]
• "Fergie is Condoleezza Rice - if Condi knew how to execute a booty shake…" claims this profile of the singer, in which she talks about ecstasy; crystal meth ("it ruins you"); dating Mexican gang members and being a child star. The reporter also writes: "There is some speculation that Fergie is older than she lets on (seems unlikely; she grew up on TV), as her unquestionably sexy features can look a touch - how can I put this? - ravaged." [Times Of London]
• Kelly Bensimon was doing man-on-the-street interviews for Gotham magazine yesterday… and her efforts were taped for Real Housewives. [NY Post]
• Debi Mazar helped Maksim Chmerkovskiy get over ex-fiancée Karina Smirnoff with home cooked meals. Heartache doesn't mean stomachache. [People]
• Remember when Michael Jackson played a character on The Simpsons? The folks of The Simpsons were freaked out by him. [NY Post]
• Speaking of Michael Jackson, a snippet of his song "This Is It" has hit the interwebs; listen at the link. [TMZ]
• By the by the illuminated white glove Michael Jackson wore on his 1984 Victory tour sold for almost $70, 000 at auction. [The Sun]
• Katherine Jackson will not inherit 40% of her son's estate. [Carey Hart are HOT in this photo shoot for his tattoo shop's clothing line. [Daily Mail]
• Amy Winehouse "looked frail and unsteady" singing backup for her goddaughter on the TV show Strictly Come Dancing. [Mirror]
• Couples Retreat raked in $35 million at the box office; this column suggests the film "offers a lesson in moviegoing: add one beautiful location to a comedy that is not very funny, add to it actors who aren't really very famous, and you can make a movie that opens to reviews that aren't very good, yet still make cash hand over fist." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Saturday Night Live's Bill Hader has a new baby and says of fatherhood: "I think it's going to be awesome." [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
• In a poll of 100 New Yorkers, 26 women and 27 men think David Letterman is a "hypocrite for making jokes about the affairs of Bill Clinton and other politicians." 22 women and 31 men have worked at a place where the boss was having an affair with an underling. [NY Mag]
• Singer Stephen Gately, of Irish group Boyzone died Saturday while vacationing on the Spanish island of Majorca. [CNN]
• Stephen Gately may have chocked on his own vomit after a "drinking session." [Daily Mail]
• "Matt Lucas will not return to his stage role following the death of his ex-partner, it has been announced." [The Star]
• Mickey Rourke talks about using the word "faggot." Sorta. [TMZ]
• Dannii Minogue was judging X Factor when this guy Danyl Johnson sang "And I'm Telling You" from Dreamgirls. Danni insinuated that he was gay by telling him he didn't need to change the gender references in the song. Simon Cowell was pissed about that. [Daily Mail]
• Arnold Schwarzenegger is on Twitter now, posting pictures of the happy face in his morning oatmeal and so on. [NY Post]
• Sigourney Weaver is trying to promote a Gorilla Rehabilitation and Conservation Education, (GRACE) in the Congo, which will rescue and rehabilitate orphaned gorillas, saying: "These little gorillas just steal your heart. They're very sensitive creatures. So it's no surprise that this is a very demanding and ambitious project, the GRACE Center, but we need it. We have to have it." [AP]
• "Pierce Brosnan almost turned down the chance to star in his upcoming flick, The Greatest, about two parents struggling to move on after their son dies in a car accident — because his own son Sean survived a similar crash in 2000. "When I first got the script, I looked it over and put it under my bed for a week," he says. "I eventually decided to do it because I liked it, but it was hard to go to those deeper places in my heart." [Gatecrasher]
• Director Mike Nichols has been selected to receive the American Film Institute's 38th AFI Life Achievement Award. Nichols won an Oscar for directing The Graduate; was nominated for a best picture award as a producer for The Remains of the Day and his credits include Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, Catch-22, Carnal Knowledge, Silkwood, Working Girl, Primary Colors, Angels in America, Closer and Charlie Wilson's War. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Horn Lake, Mississippi's Circle G Ranch — also known as the Elvis Ranch, is up for sale, if you have $6.5 million. [UPI]
• High-brow PBS soap opera Upstairs Downstairs is being remade. [NY Post]
• Blind item! "What Oscar-winning actress and her Oscar-winning husband are said to be close to splitting? She's telling friends, 'We've grown apart.'" [Rush & Molloy]
• "I get why chicks dig him. He's extremely kind, incredibly intelligent, thoughtful, creative and respectful. I don't discuss my love life because it's always misinterpreted or put under the microscope. It's especially annoying when you're dating someone else who's well-known, which is why I normally would never go out with a famous guy. Let's put it this way… I'd be flattered if someone hit on me tonight, but I really can't say if I'm available or not." — Emmy Rossum on Adam Duritz. She also says: "I used to be an artsy, quiet, kind of chubby kid — which no one believes. But now I'm really comfortable with my body and my sexuality. I can be naked with the lights on." [People]00
• "My hair has never been that great. I had a Jheri curl at one point in my life. I had to go to rehab and confess, 'I'm Chris, I have a curl.' But, I don't think men are into their hair that much. Guys are concentrating on other things. When I was younger, I had a complex, and probably still do, about just not being buff and big. I think that's what guys are into. There are some right here in Hollywood, men on television right now, with fake pecs and stuff." — Chris Rock made Good Hair, but he doesn't think about his own that much. [Parade]
• "I think if she were playing something that was going to be really hard for her psychologically or damaging, I'd be more concerned, but she had a really good time with the sex thing, She plays a woman who, as far as I can tell, is really in charge of her life and is not a victim. So it sounded to me like it would be a blast. I've already seen little bits and pieces of some of the nudity and she looks beautiful. If you have it, why not?" — Susan Sarandon, on her daughter playing a student by day and a stripper by night in Californication. [Gatecrasher]
• "I've been corresponding with Anya Camilleri [the director] and we've been looking at historical paintings where the concept 'cougar' was depicted to try and see where it came from. I think 'cougar' is a way to make it appear as women are looking at their men as prey, and gaining something from it. Like when men are enhancing their own virility by going out with younger women. Why is there not a term for older men with younger women? I don't think Mrs. Robinson was a cougar — I think she was a woman having a breakdown, and it was played wonderfully." — Sharon Stone, who will play a woman who hires a much-younger gigolo in upcoming flick Satisfaction. [Gatecrasher]
• "I had dairy a few weeks ago by accident and I knew because the next day I was all phlegmy. And I was farting and it was gross. And then I knew. It was dairy. Plus it makes you fat. Instantly. [There] was a time in my life where I was not interested in health at all; health was a dirty word. And when I look at pictures now, I see that I looked tired and puffy and stressed." — Alicia Silverstone, whom this paper calls "the most non-annoying vegan on the planet." [NY Post]
• "I guess everyone has their wild side, and mine was halfway between being really shy and kind of a goofy spazoid. I never bit anyone, like Max, but I slapped a lot of butts. I don't know if you've seen kids do that-butt-slapping. Like, slapping the butts of my grandparents and babysitters. When I wasn't shy, I overcompensated." — Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, who did the soundtrack for Where the Wild Things Are. [NY Mag]
• "In an interview, Lars said he thought he reminded me of my father… and now, of course, I could make that link. He's very sincere with his questions and fears. He's a real artist in that way. He never censors himself... It was a weird relationship. The moments when it was just the two of us were pretty awkward… [Still] I had the feeling that he was inside me. He understood every blink, every detail. I felt as if I were portraying him, even though we were dealing with female sexuality. The anxiety and fear in my character was pretty much him." — Charlotte Gainsbourg, on Antichrist director Lars von Trier, whom this article notes has been called "Misanthrope. Misogynist. Pornographer. Xenophobe. Enfant terrible. Child." [BlackBook]
• "President Obama seems very authentic… I wonder if there's a white man inside of him." — Lars von Trier. [BlackBook]

• Madonnahas dropped celebrity trainer Tracy Anderson: "Madonna had grown tired of the baggage that Tracy always seemed to be carrying with her," says a source, "Tracy had grown to be more of a distraction than anything else." [PageSix]

• Stephen Gately of the Irish boyband Boyzone was found dead last night in Majorca, where he was vacationing. The cause of death has not been released at this time; Gately was only 33 years old. [ONTD]
• A friend claims that "It looks like [Gately] went out for a few drinks, then got back, fell asleep and never woke up." [ONTD]
• "Stephen was the kindest, gentlest soul. We send our love and condolences to his partner, Andy, and to all his friends everywhere."-Elton John [Guardian]
• Oh dear: David Letterman reportedly brought Stephanie Birkett, the staffer he was sleeping with, on Caribbean vacations with his wife and son. According to the New York Post, Letterman's wife, Regina Lasko "believed that Birkitt was only an innocent "friend" and "co-worker" at the time." [NYPost]
• A former flight attendant on Oprah Winfrey's private jet claims she was fired after two fellow flight attendants accused her of "inappropriate intimate behavior" while in flight. The woman says the flight attendants are lying, and is suing for $75,000. [TMZ]
• Jimmy Kimmel is currently dating the co-head writer of his show, Molly McNearney. "After Jimmy and Sarah broke up, Molly and Jimmy both found themselves single, and they clicked," says a source, "They're really happy together." [People]
• Britney Spears will attempt to regain full custody of her two sons before Christmas. A source says Kevin Federline is unlikely to oppose the bid "as long as he is granted full visitation rights." [DailyExpress]
• A source claims that Michael Bay is considering killing off Megan Fox in the next Transformers film. "Michael's pretty much discovered Megan and now he's very quietly looking for her replacement. He hasn't decided if he's going to kill her off in the next movie, but he just wants to be prepared." [PopCrunch]
• "I don't think you can plan or control love. I think you have to just be willing to take what comes and however it comes, you know? I have a really great relationship with myself and that's a lifelong process. I have a great job, a great family and great friends. I have my health and I love what I do."-Jennifer Aniston [ShowbizSpy]
• Meanwhile, Angelina Jolie is fed up with Brad Pitt's scrubby appearance and has hired Tom Ford to give Pitt a makeover. "His beard is so unkempt now that she can't even stand kissing him, and she started calling him ‘Billy Goat Gruff' to shame him into getting rid of it," says a source, "Angie called Tom personally and handpicked thousands of dollars worth of casual and dress-up clothes for Brad. She's desperate to get the old, stylish Brad back." [ShowbizSpy]
• Kanye West was a no-show at last night's BET Awards, even though he was nominated for nine awards. [E!]
• Moby is set to donate the proceeds from several of his concerts to the California Partnership to End Domestic Violence, as the cause is close to his heart: "I had to stop [my mother] from being stabbed to death by a boyfriend of hers. I hate to say this, but almost half of the women I know who are friends of mine have been in abusive relationships of some sort or another." [Reuters]
• "I just don't take any of it seriously. It's just a job and while it's a job I love, girls scream out for Edward, not Robert. I still can't get a date."- Robert Pattinson [ONTD]
• Vince Vaughn's Couples Retreat won the Friday box office, taking in 12.3 million dollars. [EW]
• Roman Polanski's lawyer, Herve Temime says Polanski is "depressed" in jail. "Roman Polanski, who is 76, seemed very dejected when I visited him," Temime says, "Polanski was in an unsettled state of mind." [Reuters]
• Katie Holmes has reportedly won a "victory" over Tom Cruise by enrolling the couple's daughter, Suri in a Catholic preschool, as opposed to a Scientology-based program. "‘She is not convinced by Scientology and has told Tom that she wants Suri to be educated as a Catholic – as she was," says a source, "They had been having huge problems agreeing on her school. To say they were having arguments is putting it mildly – but Tom came around to the idea in the end." [DailyMail]
• Hilary Swank would like you to know that she sleeps in the nude: "I don't sleep in anything. Well, my boyfriend's son is 6 years old, and you wonder at what age you should stop walking around nude. Every morning he comes into the bedroom, and you're just nude. But he doesn't look twice; he doesn't think about it yet. I just toss and turn too much when I sleep, and if I'm in clothes, I get all twisted up." [ShowbizSpy]
• The sad thing is that I feel so boring because Twilight is literally how every conversation I have these days begins - whether it's someone I'm meeting for the first time or someone I just haven't seen in a while. The first thing I want to say to them is, ‘It's insane! And, as a person, I can't do anything!' But then I think to myself, God damn it, shut the fuck up."-Kristen Stewart [ShowbizSpy]

[Boston, October 8. Image via Splash.]

[Boston, October 7. Image via INF]

[Boston, October 4. Image via INF]

[Boston, October 1. Image via INF]

• Ungaro's CEO says Lindsay Lohan was appointed creative director because, "Celebrities today attract lots of attention and having a moving, dancing, swinging, living doll is, we hope, going to bring down the age group at Ungaro while keeping the DNA."

• Linds has been working with Spanish designer Estrella Archs to produce Sunday's Ungaro collection in just three weeks, but when the New York Times stopped by the studio yesterday, "Ms. Lohan was conspicuous by her absence." [N.Y. Times]
• Christian Siriano will star in a Bravo reality show about him setting up a new shop and marketing his clothing line. [Variety]
• Suri Cruise's wardrobe has been valued at around $3.6 million. "They really splurge on Suri," says an insider. "Suri is very vocal when it comes to outfits. She's rarely seen in anything twice." [News.com.au]
• Isaac Mizrahi doesn't want you to call his new New York boutique a store. "I'm afraid to call it a store because that immediately makes you think about sales expectations," says Mizrahi. "It's more of an opportunity to show the collection and service the customer. I'm trying to get across the fact that clothing is a product of the creative process... Most designers are really good at retail. I always thought, ‘That's not my job.' This shop is me committing to retail." [WWD]
• Kim Kardashian is releasing her first fragrance in February with Lighthouse Beauty. Chris Lighty, a founding partner in the company, says, "Kim has created her own brand, which has really be able to extend off-screen and out of the reality show arena it started in. She's not a one-horse show." [WWD]
• Mariel Haenn, Rihanna's stylist, says of the look she'll be sporting to coincide with the release of her new album, "It's definitely going to be Rihanna in the raw state we've seen her in lately... Though she's an icon right now, this crazy super glam, we're going to see her being real—human. She hates too soft and girly... she still plays with her girly side, but there's always a tough piece somewhere, with edge." [Radar Online]
• Many designers are streaming their shows online this season including Burberry, Louis Vuitton, Marc Jacobs, Emporio Armani, and Alexander McQueen. [Vogue]
• Burberry says it expects to boost operating profits by $6.4 million in the year ending in March 2010. It's re-negotiated its Japanese apparel license with two local partners and expects higher royalty payments than previously estimated. [WWD]
• Rather than having a huge relaunch, Nina Ricci unveiled its first collection under the creative direction of Peter Copping last night to only 75 people. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Mira Sorvino has been in New York this week asking people to donate suits to women who are trying to escape domestic abuse as part of the "Tell A Gal P.A.L." campaign sponsored by Allstate Foundation. People can donate business attire at Allstate offices through October 9. "The suits work in both a practical real way and a symbolic way," said Sorvino. "They give women a way to present themselves in a professional way." [WSJ]
• The costumes for Kylie Minogue's U.S. tour will be designed by Jean Paul Gualtier. [People]
• Crocs has entered into a new revolving loan agreement with PNC Financial Services group. The company can borrow up to $30 million under the new agreement. [Reuters]
• On The Bonnie Hunt Show yesterday Tim Gunn said of Michelle Obama wearing Crocs, "I like to think she was doing a footwear experiment... if she wasn't I'll do my first fashion intervention and show up at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and insist I be taken to her closet." Video here: [People]

[Boston, September 21. Image via INF]