Whatever you're planning to wear to your company Christmas party is nowhere near as good as this. A red suit is clearly what your life has been lacking. Don't like this one?

Try one like this instead.

Or this.

Or perhaps emerald green is more your thing.

It goes on like this for pages and pages and pages! After a while, you start wearing down — believing that, yes, what you need to be wearing is a fancy skirt suit and a hat.

An elegant black ensemble is probably what I'd choose. No word on whether it comes with Jeeves, to help you out of cars.

All-over floral worries me. And I am, admittedly, a magpie maximalist: I like sequins and flowers and rhinestones and doodads. But I fear that wearing something like this would make me look like the new Von Trapp nanny who's gotten into the curtains. Or wallpaper.

Statuesque posture, unshakable confidence: Required; not included.

Sometimes overtly "feminine" fashion — adorned with flower blooms or buds and other veiled vaginal references — can be delicate, demure… almost weak. This, for some reason, reads "strength." …And "vulva-esque."

Did I mention that Ashro has a wig section?

Man, I love that the wigs come in gray. That means that somewhere out there, some sassy grandma is wearing this sassy cut.

Asymmetrical even!

So, here's why I have the Ashro catalog: I once ordered a caftan. To blog from home in. Feels slightly more appropriate than pajamas when the UPS guy shows up.

I can't vouch for the "approrpriate-ness" of the other casual wear Ashro offers, however…

Ashro [Official Site]

Earlier: 19 Crappy & Crazy Christmas Gifts From Sky Mall
Dean & Deluca Thanksgiving: Mouth-Watering, Wallet-Emptying
All previous catalog posts

Givhan's analysis stems from the fact that the fashion industry has deemed sheath dresses (which are oh-so-flattering on every shape) equally authoritative as business suits and suggested that all women eschew stockings in the summer. And instead of complying with the fashion industry's advice — or, at a minimum, wearing a wrap dress — Sotomayor did what any sensible judicial nominee ought: she dressed both for her audience and the event, i.e. the Senate and a confirmation hearing. And thus she earns Givhan's opprobrium for not being feminine enough.

Her wardrobe, as she sat for her daily grilling by the Senate Judiciary Committee, did not reflect the fashion industry's constant refrain. In fact, it did not even appear to have been influenced by the 21st century. Instead, Sotomayor's clothes evoked authority in the manner of a 1980s lady power broker.

And while a wing of the fashion industry has been enraptured by the styles of the 1980s, its focus has been more on embellished military jackets, harem pants and jersey dresses that look as though they might spontaneously combust on a particularly hot day. That is not the part of 1980s fashion history Sotomayor was channeling. She embraced that period in fashion when femininity had no place in the executive suite.

Um, what? Either Robin Givhan and I experienced two different decades, or two different hearings. Sotomayor's suits, above, had hardly the big shoulderpads nor the boxy jackets of that (thankfully) bygone era, and I'm certain her skirts were either A-lines or flared, unlike the 80s ubiquitous pencil skirts. They weren't paired with high-necked silk shells, floppy bows of any kind or even button-down shirts. In short, they looked nothing like this.

In fact, by my count, Sotomayor wore a pink suit as well as a pink shell under her black suit; cuts that were flattering for her figure; exposed her collar bones and — for the first day — even wore a suit with a styled color and an asymmetrical line. But despite the skirts, the deliberately feminine color choices (pink, red, bright blue and a wide black pinstripe paired with a pink shell), the three-quarter sleeves and the stockings Givhan derides as being unfashionable (though a smart choice in what I guarantee was a frigid hearing room), Givhan says Sotomayor wasn't feminine.

Her single notable accessory was a slim bangle on her right wrist. Her neck, so exposed by her jewel collars, was bare.

Aside from her decision to emphasize skirts instead of trousers and the shoulder-length dark curls framing her face, there was nothing in Sotomayor's style that acknowledged her femininity in a significant way.

She, in Givhan's words, left her gender at the door.

Opening a Conventional Closet In Quest for a Supreme Robe [Washington Post]

Whereas for years we've been in a dress-code limbo forcing us to balance "professional" with "creative" with "young" with "mature" now - except in the most creative of industries - a suit no longer feels stuffy. Says one headhunter, in these competitive times, “We are back to a time when every company expected both women and men to wear suits and we didn’t have a Casual Friday..They are looking for a sharper style. I recommend a strong suit that says you are collected and ready to work.” (Here's hoping Mad Men's smart suits are a contributing factor.) Sure there are those stalwarts who bought a suit straight out of high school and dutifully dressed up like a mini exec whenever they wanted to be taken seriously, some of us - especially those who are prone to looking young anyhow - always felt uncomfortably like we were dressed in business costumes.

I remember the agony of dressing for interviews, and the discomfort of feeling overdressed in a room full of jeans, like I had "Interview" written across my forehead. As such, any dictate like this, however arbitrary, is a boon. Of course, there's still the issue of skirt or trouser; color; underpinning (in fact in my opinion the article goes on to list so many variables that it's more confusing than ever) - but really the expectation of conformity is comforting. For my own part, I can't wear a suit and not look like an ass, and so swear by a good jacket and an A-line (I do have a couple of vintage suits, suitable for church etc.) And whatever you wear, remember, this is key:
T-tailored to fit you
L-lint-free
C-clean.

The rest is all gravy. And yes I just invented that. Believe me, we're going to be covering all this in my Arbitrary Guide to Style Mostly Inspired by Vintage Career Romances, coming soon. "Shrimp-colored knits" figure prominently, I do assure you.

The Return Of The Interview Suit [New York Times]