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When You're Not Sure If Someone Is Masturbating Against You In A Crowded Subway
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ArtfulSlinger
04/29/09

In reply to When You're Not Sure If Someone Is Masturbating Against You In A Crowded Subway
I have had a few douches attempt to do this, but thanks to my bony elbows, my scowling and overall ADD on a train - I have avoided it like the plague. I will also make it my job to stand next to an old lady when I am on a packed train.
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Pizza!Pizza!Pizza!
04/29/09

In reply to When You're Not Sure If Someone Is Masturbating Against You In A Crowded Subway
I think Paris is 'winning' the contest between major metropolitan pervery, at least according to the comments. That was my experience, too. In New York the groping was balanced my a few sweet, 'You're beautiful's. In Paris, it was all animal noises and erections all the time.
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NewsBunny
04/29/09

In reply to When You're Not Sure If Someone Is Masturbating Against You In A Crowded Subway
I had this happen on a wicked crowded 7 train. The guy managed to be just close enough to me to kind of grab my breast.

I gave him my best left look. Right in the ribs.

He stepped away. Not a word exchanged.

Learn to box, ladies. It will come in handy!

*cue theme to Rocky*
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VoxPopuli
04/29/09

In reply to When You're Not Sure If Someone Is Masturbating Against You In A Crowded Subway
I've lived in NYC for nearly 10 years and it's never happened to me. I would have noticed too - I still get skeeved out when people are in my personal space on the train and try to get some little bit of space if at all possible. I think I'm too neurotic to ever get used to being ass cheek-to-ass cheek with my fellow citizens.

Oh no, am I too ugly to be harassed on the train? (SOB!)
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AuntPenny
04/28/09

In reply to When You're Not Sure If Someone Is Masturbating Against You In A Crowded Subway
This same thing happened to me in a Chicago movie theater. During Rear Window. The guy was sitting right next to me and I wasn't sure if he, um, pleasuring himself or not. Turns out he was. Also, before I discovered he really was jerkin' the gherkin, I sneezed, and the man said, "God bless you." Guess his momma taught him manners, huh?
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tessa
04/28/09

In reply to When You're Not Sure If Someone Is Masturbating Against You In A Crowded Subway
I had a coworker once, she must have been almost 70 years old (safety net for the elderly, my ass). She worked for the Bell phone company as an operator when she was a young woman living in San Francisco. She said that men masturbating against her and her coworkers was a big problem on the cable cars. So if she felt an erection pressing against her, she would slyly take her five-inch long hatpin off and hold it against her hip. The next time the man used a lurch of the car as an excuse to rub against her, he got a sharp reminder of the error of his ways.

Needless to say, she is a woman who I feel blessed to have known. Too bad hatpins aren't commonly worn anymore.
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Rooo sez BISH PLZ
04/28/09

@tessa: That is genius.
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after_hours
04/28/09

In reply to When You're Not Sure If Someone Is Masturbating Against You In A Crowded Subway
What an awesome mom. This happened to my best friend in Vegas when we were freshmen in high school. Her mom's response? "Well what do you expect when you wear pants that tight?" Ugh ugh ugh. Seriously made me SO angry.
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Rooo sez BISH PLZ
04/28/09

@after_hours: I hope you'll forgive me for talking about the mom of your friend, but IMO women like that are part of the problem.
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Sister Toldja
04/28/09

In reply to When You're Not Sure If Someone Is Masturbating Against You In A Crowded Subway
OMG! That's crazy! I had a man lay down on the A (or C, same bullshit) train across the aisle from me and start masturbating whilst staring me in the eye (even creepier....I saw him again in my neighborhood WHILE I WAS TELLING SOMEONE THE STORY), but I dont think anyone has rubbed on me. I am also deadly cautious to avoid any unneccesary physical contact with anyone on the bus or train. But I will be even more vigilant now.

It breaks my heart to see how many of y'all have endured this, and how jaded that little girl was in Sadie's post.
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zombie.nancy is a godess of fierce
04/28/09

@Sister Toldja: the A/C/E lines are horrific.
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ShankhamalaMorpheus
04/28/09

In reply to When You're Not Sure If Someone Is Masturbating Against You In A Crowded Subway
This has never happened to me and I've been taking public transportation everywhere since I was a teen. (So for 15 years now.) Is it just more common in NYC than Chicago or am I just lucky or a little of both?
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thesciencegirl wields the truth like a mighty axe.
04/28/09

@ShankhamalaMorpheus: I live in Chicago, and have experienced a lot of street harassment in the 3 years I've lived here.
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rocknrollunicorn
04/28/09

@ShankhamalaMorpheus: A lot of this depends on the time of day you ride, among other things. This tends to happen when the car is very, very packed (or probably also when it's very empty and very late). As thesciencegirl points out, it definitely happens here (I'm in Chicago). I've only had it happen to me in other cities, but I tend to ride the el at slightly off times and usually get a seat.
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bokkie
04/28/09

In reply to When You're Not Sure If Someone Is Masturbating Against You In A Crowded Subway
Reading all of this is getting me incredibly angry. How is it fair that SO many of us have had to deal with this? And I'm kind of disappointed in myself, because my response is always so timid -- I just move away, or get off the bus/metro quietly and wait for the next one. Away from the situation, I always think, "The next time that happens I am going to fucking lose it." But then it happens, again, and I'm just immediately intimidated and terrified. The guy doing it is almost always much bigger than me, and I don't want to rely on the kindness of strangers if the pervert decides to attack me. It's so frustrating, because there seems to be no satisfying, yet safe, response to this.
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mbot says Spock yeah!
04/28/09

@bokkie: As long as there are people around, make it a scene. You won't be alone, literally or figuratively. The odds are good that there will be women around who've experienced the same, men who know better, and/or decent human beings who realize that no one should have to put up with that kind of bullshit.
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Kali Mama
04/28/09

In reply to When You're Not Sure If Someone Is Masturbating Against You In A Crowded Subway
I skimmed through the thread, but isn't there a website where girls expose these fucks by taking mobile pics and uploading them? Vaguely recollect guys getting convicted over that shit.
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Kali Mama
04/28/09

@Kali Mama: I fail at reading. pear.shaped.Sara is gunning for a star posted [hollabacknyc.blogspot.com] Link bears repeating.
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samethingwedoeverynightpinky
04/28/09

In reply to When You're Not Sure If Someone Is Masturbating Against You In A Crowded Subway
I can't believe how common this is. I mean, I believe it, but it's sad and ridiculous how many men think this is an OK way to behave. It happened to me on the DC metro. At the point when I was sure he wasn't rubbing against me accidentally, I got off the train, and the dude followed me onto a second train, going the opposite direction. When I lived in New York, I found that people were better about, or maybe I was just lucky-- the few times a dude was doing something that made me nervoud or uncomfortable, an older would on the train would always notice before or as I did, and call me over. I wonder whether some of this starts out as accidental, and then becomes creepy pervert behavior? Still completely unacceptable and gross and dehumanizing though.
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Akbar Biberkopf
04/28/09

In reply to When You're Not Sure If Someone Is Masturbating Against You In A Crowded Subway
As I guy, after reading all of this, first, I am sorry.

Second, if I am next to you on a train and you even faintly suspect that I am doing this, go ahead and say it loudly, I can live with the embarrassment of false accusation, dint worry about offending the good guys, more of us need to know that this is happening.
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clevernamehere
04/28/09

@BotOfLaws: I think most guys are pretty aware of the erect penises. I doubt this is often accidental.
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Akbar Biberkopf
04/28/09

@clevernamehere: No, I don't think it is accidental. I have been on crowded subways with women, I very intentionally kept my junk to myself. Thus, if you suspect it is happening, it most likely is.
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mbot says Spock yeah!
04/28/09

@Akbar Biberkopf: Spread the word to your friends. The more people who are aware that this is happening and that it is NOT OK, the better.
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clevernamehere
04/28/09

@Akbar Biberkopf: That comment wasn't even meant for you, it was meant for BotOfLaw, don't know how it got here.
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rednrowdy
04/28/09

In reply to When You're Not Sure If Someone Is Masturbating Against You In A Crowded Subway
i don't think this has ever happened to me. i'm not even remotely kidding. i could chalk it up to the benefits of being a female variant of quasimodo or something...either that or the benefits of wearing a bitch face as much as possible.
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IBleedGlitter: The High Priestess of Tinsel
04/28/09

In reply to When You're Not Sure If Someone Is Masturbating Against You In A Crowded Subway
This happened to me once on a super crowded C train. It was after a terrible job interview and I was already cranky so when I felt the telltale sign of a dick get rubbed against me I friggin lost it and began shouting. "Really?! Are you so lonely that you have to rub your pathetic excuse for a penis against unsuspecting girls on the subway? Is this the highlight of your day sir? Kindly step the FUCK back!"

Unfortunately instead of getting embarrassed he got really mad and started shouting and threatening me, but he did step back. Luckily there were several gentleman around that were much bigger than him and didn't seem to like the way he was talking to a lady and began to loudly threaten him. He got scared and left at the next stop and I once again narrowly avoided getting punched in the face.

I like this story because it shows both how terrible and wonderful people can be to strangers.
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