Jezebel: Strippers

Sports Bra Saves Stranded Hiker • L.A. Strippers Sue Clubs For Tips

Maria — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 16:30:00 EDT

An American hiker in the Bavarian Alps who was stranded for 3 days was rescued after she attached her sports bra to a cable used by lumberjacks to get their attention. • A new study has found that men are more likely to share their creative work online than women. • Lesbians are barred from donating blood in China because they are semantically lumped in with gay males and therefore thought of as being "high-risk" for HIV. • How long until there is a mass squealing conservative outrage over this JC Penney "teen sex" ad? • Strippers are suing top strip joints in L.A. over unpaid wages and tips and making the strippers pay other workers in the clubs. • Oh, also, high gas prices are hurting legal brothels in Nevada that relied heavily on randy truckers with extra (probably company) cash. Hard times. • The U.N. Security Council unanimously approved a resolution to reclassify rape as a "weapon of war." It's about time. • Female college students in England have been warned about whistling at construction workers near their college. However, no complaints have been made and no women have come forward about the whistling.

Necessity is the mother of invention, as ...

Slut Machine — Wed, 21 May 2008 16:20:00 EDT

Necessity is the mother of invention, as these stripper shoes with a tip jar in the platform would illustrate. And at $47.99, they cost less than the price of a lap dance. [Funky Pair via Reverse Cowgirl]

Strippers Lose Jobs To The Internet • The Simpsons Are Back on Venezuelan TV

maria — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 17:30:00 EDT

Print journalists aren't the only ones losing jobs, strippers feel the burden of the digital age. • Iranian says Barbies are "destructive" and must be stopped. • Incarcerated 400-pound man loses 100 pounds, sues county for underfeeding. • Six conservative women talk about dating whiny liberal men. • Two teenagers are jailed for life for killing a goth woman. • Mexicans try to quell the anti-emo riots by promoting diversity among teens. • Lourdes basically has the coolest mom hand-me-downs to pick from. • National Lampoon launches website to rate prostitutes. • Scientists just realize that periods are awesome, can repair hearts. • American Family Association attack soap on lackluster gay kiss. • An ironically long article on shorthand text speak, lol grwn ups r so lam3! • The Simpsons are back in Venezuela! • Baseball star Roger Clemens had a relationship with Mindy McCready when she was 15 years old (he was 28 and married). • Easy mistake to make: Woman attacks boyfriend, thinking he is a porn actor. • "Chinese eatery specializes in penis." That is all you need to know.

The 20th Season Of The Real World Offers A House Of Horrors

Slut Machine — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 19:00:00 EDT

Last night was the premiere of the 20th season of The Real World, and as you may have seen, some of the roommates are pretty awful. Another hateable guy was Will, who seems to have a crush on every girl in the house, particularly the one who dresses like a stripper. But when he found out that she actually is a stripper, he became giant dick by stereotyping her and deciding that she's the kind of girl that he would "make fun of." Clip above.

Can A Self-Respecting Porn Star Ever Succeed As A Mainstream Actress?

Dodai — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 14:00:00 EDT

An article from Premiere.com attempts to tackle the issue of actresses going from porn to mainstream projects. The story is tied to the fact that Jenna Jameson is starring in Zombie Strippers, which, while it may be kitschy, is not porn. Writes Glenn Kenny: "While recent advances in sexual frankness onscreen seem to be constantly bringing porn and mainstream entertainment closer and closer together, crossing over remains an elusive dream for performers who come up through the world of adult. Is there a double standard? Given that the likes of Kerry Fox, Mark Rylance, and Chloë Sevigny, to name just a few well-regarded actors, have appeared in explicit unsimulated sex scenes and not been tagged with some sort of career stigma suggests there is. But it's a little more complicated than that."

Kenny goes on to document the post-porn careers of women such as Linda Lovelace, Marilyn Chambers, and maybe most well-known, Traci Lords. It's interesting that she found success by bad-mouthing the porn industry (which she got into when she was underaged) and by appearing in "mainstream" flicks — helmed by decidedly left-of-center director John Waters. (Lords also appeared in workout videos that were highly sexualized.)

But why is it so hard for porn stars to become "mainstream" movie stars? It's not like a singer trying to be an actor or a actor attempting to have a music career. Is it because we assume the acting is bad? So are the performances on tons of soap operas. Yet soap stars break out into flicks all the time. Is it the (shh!) ess-ee-ex? Do we lose respect for a woman who's been paid to fake (or have!) an orgasm on film? Why her and not Meg Ryan? We don't expect our actresses to be virginal Doris Day clones. Angelina Jolie, Helen Mirren and Judi Dench have been topless on film. But do we have some sort of ingrained puritanical values in our collective psyche that prevents us from respecting porn stars? That keeps us from accepting them as hard-working actors?

From Porn To Mainstream: Can Jenna Pull It Off? [Premiere]
Related: YOUTUBULAR: Traci Lords' Shameful Post-Porn Career [Best Week Ever]

Earlier: New Movie Zombie Strippers Has A Formula For Awesome

Bad Girls Club: When Strippers Attack

Slut Machine — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 16:20:00 EDT

Darlen is by far the most physical of any of the Bad Girls. In last night's episode, she expressed her desire to change her ways — marked by drunken, violent debauchery — and be a better mother. But when the girls went out for their friend's Halloween birthday party and a bitchy queen poured a drink on the birthday boy's head, she lost her shit, chased him down on the street and beat the crap out of him. To be fair, the guy was really asking for it (he was obviously just looking for a little camera time), and watching a stripper dressed as a stripper in a cop costume was actually really satisfying. Clip above.

New Movie Zombie Strippers Has A Formula For Awesome

Slut Machine — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 18:00:00 EDT

Take Robert Englund (aka Freddie Kruger) and a former porn star (aka Jenna Jameson, mix in some zombies with a sprinkle of strippers with machine guns and what have you got? Zombie Strippers, which will have a limited release April 18-25, and then be available on DVD. The trailer is above.

Trailer Blazer: 'Zombie Strippers' [EW]

Dallas Club With 12-Year-Old Stripper Will Pay No Price

Jessica — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 09:30:00 EDT

There's the old saying that fifteen can get you twenty, but in Dallas, Texas, it seems that twelve will get you no punishment whatsoever. Diamonds Cabaret, a Dallas-area strip club, is keeping its license even after it was discovered that the business employed a 12-year-old stripper for two weeks last year. According to Newsweek, the sixth grade runaway had no place to go, so she shacked up with David Bell, 22, and Diamond dancer Demonica Abron, 28. At first, Bell tried to fashion the tween into a prostitute, but she refused. So he took her to the Diamond Cabaret, a place described by Newsweek as located "in a dilapidated office park next to a business that rents hot tubs by the hour."

Newsweek continues: "...the girl lasted about a week and a half in November, working the stage amid flashing multicolored strobe lights and a pounding hip-hop soundtrack laced with obscene lyrics. She made as little as $100 a night, she told the authorities, and gave all her profits after paying the club fee to Bell and Abron, her 'caretakers.'"

David Bell, gentleman that he is, allegedly made the girl perform oral sex on him repeatedly; she eventually escaped while he was sleeping. Though Bell is now in jail (Abron is currently out on bail), the case has caused an uproar around Dallas, because officials have no legal means to punish the Diamond Cabaret. "City ordinances do not set a minimum age for dancers in adult cabarets," reports Newsweek, adding that adult cabarets "are subject to fewer restrictions than escort services, which are also regulated by the city." Essentially, here's no way to even suspend the club's license for a modicum of time although lawmakers are attempting to pass ordinances so that there are some repercussions for gentleman's clubs breaking the law.

Lost Girl [Newsweek]

Pleasure & Pain

Dodai — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 10:45:00 EDT

Here in New York City, a man has filed a suit in Manhattan Supreme Court against a strip club after an employee allegedly poked him in the eye with her high heel during a lap dance. Stephen Chang claims he "sustained serious personal injuries" in November when the stripper "suddenly swung around, striking [him] in the eye with the heel of her shoe." The manager, identified as Lou, says: "We didn't have any reported accidents. We have a first-aid kit, and we would have treated the guy or called an ambulance." Chang might actually be hurt — and embarrassed— but you know what Lou could have said? "Hey, consider yourself lucky — some places charge extra for that." [NY Daily News]

Virginia Is For Covers

Dodai — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 09:45:00 EDT

Horrors! We are living in a country where adults going to strip bars might actually see nipples. That's why Delegate John A. Cosgrove has sponsored a bill in Virginia to get pasties on topless dancers. The legislation, which goes into effect in July, says a business can have its mixed-beverage license suspended or revoked if there is "entertainment commonly called stripteasing, topless entertaining, or entertainment that has employees who are not clad both above and below the waist." Actually, the law already exists and has been around for a while, but authorities did not enforce it and club owners knew they could get away with having totally topless dancers. But thanks to Mr. Cosgrove — and tax dollars — we'll never have to worry about bare areolas in Virgina again. [Reason.com]

Strippers And Sex Workers On Conventions: Republicans, Nerds Make Best Customers

Moe — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 12:00:00 EST

It's the day after Super Tuesday, and there are still so many unknowns about the upcoming political conventions. But if you've been alive for a few years, you probably know there is one very known known about them: They're like 1929 for the sex work business! Strippers and hookers reap funds like Ron Paul's website! And the news media eats that shit up. Of course, not all conventions were created equal, reports yesterday's Rocky Mountain News, hometown newspaper of the city hosting this years Dem Convention. Says longtime hooker Carol Leigh: "Computer conventions can be lucrative. There's a lot of nerds that don't get out much... It would be a lot better for the sex workers if it was the Republican convention. We get a lot more business. I don't know if they're just frustrated because of the family values agenda..." Hmmmm, think there's something to that? Don't answer that!

Anyway, I'm just hoping that now that we've covered this ingenious story angle once, we won't have to do it again, at least more than ten or twenty times. Also, calling all enterprising young female would-be investigative journalists thinking of working a job at a strip club in a convention town this summer with the intention of perhaps landing a wealthy pro-gun/life/abstinence/Bible/family type politician in your lap: only do it for the money. This is a really predictable and dated story idea and requires the ability to actually recognize Christian conservatives other than Mike Huckabee, which is not as easy as it seems, and your talents are hopefully better spent elsewhere; just a little PSA from a someone who loves, kthanxbai.

DNC Boost For Sex Club Biz [Denver Rocky Mountain News]
Related: Hot Girls, Frisky Delegates: RNC Diary Of A Strip Club Waitress [Village Voice]

Rock Of Love: Angelique Is One Less Frog Bret Will Have To Kiss

Slut Machine — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 11:00:00 EST

After getting completely naked for Bret pretty much every time she was in his presence, French stripper Angelique's tour of duty came to a close on last night's episode of Rock of Love. The G-string that broke the camel's back was the one Angelique flung off during what was supposed to be a burlesque dance at Forty Deuce, a club that does not allow nudity. Clip above, and after the jump, we bear witness to what went down in some special screen shots.

Note: To those who complain about "spoilers": At this point, elimination-based reality shows are event television (for us anyway), so we will be talking about who gets sent home, sometimes even in the title of the post. Also, something isn't a spoiler if the show has already aired. And in the case of VH1, and the channel's insane rerun schedule, this episode has aired like seven times already.

Ruble-Rousing

dodai — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 15:20:00 EST

In Moscow, a working woman in her 30s will meet friends for drinks... at a club with male strippers. Did someone say cocktail? According to a report by Reuters, Moscow has over 40 advertised strip clubs, and a third offer male strippers. "The average western woman, if she were to go to a male striptease, would be considered somewhat of a pervert," says a 29 year-old American teacher while watching scantily-clad men dance. "Here women appreciate the male body. There's no concern about traditional values." Vladimir Gagarin, the manager of one club (the English name of which is "Little Red Riding Hood") says the appeal is social and not sexual. "Girls come here to speak to each other, the bouncers, the waiters and the dancers heart to heart. They have a shoulder to lean on." A 26-year-old woman who declined to give her name agrees: "Sometimes we ask the dancers out and take them to dinner and coffee, it's a nice way to make friends." Haha, what big eyes you have! [Reuters]

Bad Girls Club: Don't Cross A Stripper, 'Cause She'll Fight You In A Bikini

Slut Machine — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 11:30:00 EST

Even though she made a bad first impression on us, we've actually really grown to like Darlen, the skinny bitch from Bad Girls Club. It turns out that Neveen and Hanna are the biggest assholes in the house. Ever since Cordelia — the one who's appeared in pornos — talked earnestly about her career as a stripper and what sort of stuff she's into sexually (anal!), Neveen and Hanna have openly mocked her relentlessly. (Seriously, those girls are evil assholes, and sadly, the way they call Darlen and Cordelia "dumb slut" and "stupid whore" makes us want to reach through the TV and flick them on the forehead.) In the clip above, Darlen, pissed at Neveen and Hanna's blatant disrespect for her roommate and for sex workers in general, morphs into "Captain Save A Ho" and stands up for her friend. The fight gets like beer-commercial sexy though, as one of Darlen's breasts keeps falling out of her bikini, and Neveen decides to pour milk all over her.

Spammers Again Using Male Sexual Frustration Against You

mcarpentier — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 14:45:00 EDT

You know those crappy sites that make you complete some nearly-impossible-to-decipher puzzle to post a comment or register a username (aka, a Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart or CAPTCHA)? Well, they piss off hackers, too, and they're trying to garner enough information to create a program to solve them so they can fuck with more people. Thus, they've created this neat-o program that they're currently spamming around the world that has horny male users try to complete CAPTCHAs over and over to get a blonde woman with big tits to take her clothes off. I mean, you do have to hand it to them- at least they known their audience. [Yahoo! News]

This Week We Made A Series of Ill-Advised Investments

Jessica — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 20:00:00 EDT

We admitted to wasting our money on rampant Von Douchebaggery.
Jennifer invested her booty in a pole dancing class.
She should have taken lessons from nascent skank, 9-year-old Kylie Kardashian.
We questioned Oprah's involvement with alleged puree plagiarist Jessica Seinfeld.
We thought that Page Six should rescind its stock in Richard Johnson's salary after his unrepentant misogyny.
Moe took one for the team by sacrificing her anus for Alli.
Anna encouraged you to spend your cash on a dude ranch vacay to rope in a cowboy.
And Jezebel made an investment in me.

Kim Kardashian's 9-Year-Old Sister Works A Stripper Pole

Slut Machine — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 11:40:00 EDT

Keeping Up With The Kardashians — the reality show about "accidental" porn star Kim Kardashian and her blended family — premiered on E! last night, and we think it's going to be highly watchable. The show opens with Kim saying, "We have baggage. But it's like Louis Vuitton baggage — you always want it." Which brings us to Kim's momager Kris, and her thoughts on her daughter's "leaked" sex tape (which earned Kim an estimated $5 million): "As a mother, I wanted to kill her. But as a manager, I knew that I had a job to do." It's not surprising that the stage mom's youngest daughters — Kendall, 11, and Kylie, 9 (dad is Olympic gold medalist Bruce Jenner) — seem to be growing up fairly quickly. Kylie, wearing three-inch heels, proves that she has the potential for a long career in reality television when she swings around a stripper's pole —be prepared to see her as a Rock of Love contestant in 10 years or so! BTW, the pole is installed in the parents' bedroom and was an anniversary present from Kim. Touching!

Is A Home Stripper Pole Skanky? 'Cosmo' Says No

Dodai — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 12:30:00 EDT

The new issue of Cosmopolitan has one of those "Sexy Vs. Skanky" charticles the magazine's editors just love to do. But here's the thing: They've got "a built-in home stripper pole" on the "sexy" side, not the "skanky" side. After the jump, the Jezebels weigh in.

I say: Skanky.
Anna: Skanky. And stupid.
Moe: Skanky.
Tracie: Skanky.
Jennifer: Funny, as a conversation piece.

Your New MySpace Friend? Thinspiration!

amparry — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 16:30:54 EDT

Eating disorder charities are asking websites like MySpace and Facebook to have stronger rules about their content, after they found that some girls are using the sites to promote the pro-ana mentality. But where will Nicole Richie post her teeny tiny baby bump pictures? [Daily Mail]
Feminist author Taslima Nasreen, who's been a critic of Islam's treatment of women, was attacked by Muslim lawmakers at a book signing in Hyderabad, India. Show your support the capitalist way, by buying her books on Amazon. [Reuters]

Feministing took issue with Hillary Clinton referring to herself as a "girl" during the AFL-CIO's debate the other night. Which we agree with. I mean, what man, besides Flava Flav, refers to himself as a "Boyyyyyyy"? [Feministing]
Speaking of Hil, the Post (who would seriously sell more papers if they could hate on the Presidential candidate during the entire 2008 election) cites a new poll that has Senator Clinton toppling our handsome boyfriend Barack Obama. Booo! [Ed: Okay, so this opinion doesn't represent all of the Jezebels— at least not yet.] [NY Post]
Bloomberg's daughter Georgina is makin' it with an Irish equestrian. It seems kind dangerous to horseback ride after 15 pints of Guinness. [NY Post]
The Department of Investigation reports that at least 10 kid deaths could have been prevented if the Administration for Children's Services wasn't so piss poor incompetent. Apparently, ACS would just clear parents of any abuse charges based solely on their denials. Next you're going to tell us that the "guilty" ones only had to write their kids an apology note. [NY Post]
Trouble is a-brewin' behind the scenes of the Barney's sale. And we're not even referring to the chick we clocked in the face for trying to rip the 90%-off Marc Jacobs dress out of our hands at the Warehouse close-out. [NY Times]
Well at least there's some justice in the world... Sort of. A homeless Queens man was sentenced to 40 years in prison for the rape of a woman last year. Enjoy that roof over your head and daily ham sandwich while it lasts — for the next 14,600 days, asshole. [NY Times]
Peace activist and thorn-in-Bush's-side Cindy Sheehan is running as an Independent against Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi in San Francisco. No word yet on how she plans to pay for her campaign or woo the gays. [SF Gate]
A lawsuit against San Francisco's O'Farrell Theatre says that the exotic nightclub acted illegally when it set impossible quotas for its dancers — causing some of them to have to pay out of pocket when they came up short. See the suffering that occurs when Ben Affleck gives up lapdances for marriage and kids? [SF Gate]
SF Gate writer Violet Blue's guide to conservative sexual fetishes — Michelle Malkin, this one is for you! [SF Gate]
If all husbands were judged by the ones who write in to Brian Alexander's "Sexploration" column, the chances of marriage would not look good for our boyfriend. [MSNBC]
Maryland prudes are fighting Montgomery County's new sex ed program in court. They want topics like homosexuality, gender identity, and proper contraception use to only be discussed if a student asks about them. Maryland students, here's an example: "Teacher, if I were a gay and liked to wear my mom's high-heels while I had sex with my best friend Kyle, how would I roll on the rubber?" [Ms.]

Strippers Visible From 10,000 Feet

Anna — Thu, 14 Jun 2007 17:40:13 EDT

Welcome to London, ladies! An ad for a "stripper" website has been painted on 100,000 square feet of a field near Gatwick Airport in the U.K. [TheSun]
Just broken up with your boyfriend? Want to retrieve your vibrator from the hovel he calls home? There's a service in San Francisco to do that for you. Hey, that was easy! [BoingBoing]
A Canadian judge has ordered an abusive young man not to have a girlfriend for the next three years in order to protect the public. [Feministing]
Sex helps men — but not women — live longer. [TheSun]
Iran's parliament has voted in favor of a bill that could send actors in pornographic films to their deaths. [CNN]

Duke Lacrosse Players Have Yet To Be Absolved By Manhattan Co-op Boards; We Shed Tears On Their Behalfs

Moe — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 13:51:10 EDT

We're having trouble feeling sorry for the Duke lacrosse players (even though Colin Finnerty totally seems like a decent kid!). Maybe it's because this whole affair made us ponder the idea free will, and whether it really exists, and that scene in In Cold Blood where Perry says he went on that killing spree because the fear in the eyes of that nice Midwestern family told him they expected him to do it. And maybe it's because, having worked at the campus Starbucks of an Ivy League university in a dirt-poor majority-black town, we have enough anecdotal evidence to say that most coddled white kids display enough indignation when their skim lattes are accidentally made with whole milk that they don't really need help from a pair of larcenous strippers to fuel said righteousness. But we're thinking our lack of empathy is more the result of comments like this from Larry King's sitdown with accused-rapist Dave Evans' attorney last night:

KING: Do you think, Joe, that they are in some way still tarnished?
CHESHIRE: Yes, you know, Larry, I think they are. We live in this crazy Google world where if you type in the name "Dave Evans," you get over a million hits. He's had a hard time getting a condo in New York because — or a co-op in New York because people will type his name in.... It's one of the horrors what of has been done to them.

Of course, there's some missing stuff where we put the ellipses, and you can read the entire exchange at CNN.com, but that pretty much says it all, doesn't it? Poor 22-year-old learns the true consequences of being falsely accused: He can't cash in on the Manhattan's booming real-estate market!

Larry King Live [CNN]
Related: Crystal Gail Mangum [Wikipedia]