• A handbag will co-star with Christina Ricci in a "Donna Karan-friendly" film directed by Sting's son, Jake Sumner. So that's what we're calling "advertising that aspires to go viral" these days? [WWD]

• Antonio Berardi says he was "seriously misquoted" in comments that cast aspersions on Lady Gaga and her music. The designer had been quoted as calling her music "meaningless" and stating that he had rejected an offer to work with the Lady on a clothing collection. The tone of these comments was considered a little odd, not least because Lady Gaga has worn Berardi's clothing on several occasions, including in her video for "Poker Face." Berardi now says: "Whilst musically I am more of a Black Angels man, I have a huge amount of respect for Lady Gaga and everything she has achieved." And the only reason they aren't doing a clothing line is that their schedules conflict. [Grazia]
• Lisa Loeb is finally getting an eyewear deal! This should please my friend who dressed up as her for Halloween. [Racked]
• Hublot and Depeche Mode are collaborating on a line of 12 watches. [WWD]
• Rihanna rocks some fierce "couture military" looks in these stills from her upcoming video for "Hard." [Nitrolicious]
• Michael Jackson's hat and loafers from a 2001 concert sold for £22,800 at auction yesterday, nearly double the estimated price. [Mirror]
• As rumored, Jeffrey Monteiro will in fact be taking the design reigns at the much-revived, much-abandoned, house of Bill Blass. [NYTimes]
• Puma is officially denying that it is courting Elin Nordegren for an endorsement deal. [AdAge]
• Or perhaps she's hammering out a deal with the Swedish company Tretorn. [WWD]
• Julia Restoin-Roitfeld and Daisy Lowe are two of the models featured in Esprit's American relaunch campaign. [Refinery29]
• Fashion Bomb Daily rounded up Arlenis Sosa, Jourdan Dunn, Chanel Iman, and Sessilee Lopez's editorial work for the year, and calls them the new fashion dream team. It's an impressive collection: magazine covers, that bewitching Harlem Renaissance editorial for Harper's Bazaar, and plenty of jumping for Vogue. Let's hope fashion really has decided for good to finally make room for more than one black model at a time. [FashionBombDaily]
• "I teach at three different colleges, and I am amazed how dressed up some of the students are. Girls still come in their hoodies and pajamas, but boys come in their suits," says eternal trend-piece quote-giver Marshal Cohen. Pray tell, what colleges are these that their men flout the walked-on-hem jeans and ballcap rule? [NYTimes]
• Adriana Lima picked up a nice Miami beach house for a song: $9 million. [WSJ]
• eLuxury is relaunching itself next year as a web magazine called Nowness. [Independent]
• Wow. Someone made an Anna Wintour mouse. [The Cut]
• Smythson, the luxury house that employs Samantha Cameron, wife of David Cameron, is now Italian-owned. [ToL]
• New Balance and Louis Vuitton have settled their intellectual property lawsuit out of court; the terms are confidential. In September, New Balance accused the luxury company of making a $590 knockoff of one of its classic sneakers. [WWD]
• Target sells footie pajamas in adult sizes. Could this be the ultimate proof of our cultural arrested development/fetishization of childhood? [FMMH]

• During a recent interview, BBC reporter Andrew Marr asked Nicole Kidman about "one of the things you haven't talked about before... Scientology - a lot of people would say it is a bullying cult." Nicole stammered, then said:

• "This is just so not... I'm here to publicize Nine. If I was here to do an exposé on myself then I'd be like, ‘Let's go', but I have no interest in discussing any of that." Marr pressed: "You don't want to talk about Scientology?" and Nicole said, "No, I'll talk about Nine." Video here: [Times of London]
• Have Kate Hudson and A-Rod split? Sources say he was partying with other women in Miami this weekend while Kate Hudson was promoting Nine in New York. One eyewitness who saw him with two women said, "He was acting VERY single, and Kate Hudson was definitely not there." Another source added, "They are totally over." [Hollywood Life]
• Kourtney Kardashian gave birth to her son Mason Dash Disick this morning. As you'll recall, "Dash" is also the name of the Kardashian's boutique. [E!]
• Courtney Love lost custody of her 17-year-old daughter Frances Bean Cobain on Friday after a long period of unstable behavior. Kurt Cobain's mother and sister were named Frances Bean's legal guardians. [TMZ]
• Police documents show that Florida's Department of Children and Families is investigating whether there was a "domestic in front of children" involving a weapon at Tiger Woods' house on Thanksgiving, but a spokeswoman for the agency said, "I'm just not able, by law, to give confirmation about whether we visited the children." [Radar Online]
• In her first post-scandal public appearance, Elin Nordegren pumped gas on her way to a Christmas party... and she wasn't wearing her wedding ring. [Radar Online]
• Tiger Woods' private jet flew from Boston to Sweden on Sunday, but only the pilot and two flight attendants were on board. Sources say Elin Nordegren is moving to Sweden, but it's unclear why the jet went without her. [Radar Online]
• Tiger Woods' high school girlfriend Dina Gravell-Parr revealed that he broke up with her by letter. She said of Elin Nordegren, "That could of been me... Thank God it's not!" [Radar Online]
• Tiger Woods skipped his best friend Bryon Bell's recent wedding, but he was still listed in the program as the best man. [TMZ]
• Tiger Woods' mistress Jamie Jungers says, "With all the things that have happened, it's probably in my best interest to move up here [to New York]," whatever that means. [N.Y. Magainze]
• Tiger Woods' 14th reported mistress, Theresa Rogers, has hired attorney Gloria Allred, who is also representing Rachel Uchitel. Rogers is in her 40s, making her the oldest of Tiger's reported dalliances. She also claims she slept with him both before and after he married Elin Nordegren. [Radar Online]
• Looks like Rachel Uchitel won't be suing Joy Behar for calling her a hooker. Gloria Allred released this statement: "We accept ABC's apology and this resolves the matter with ABC. Our action and this apology should also send a message to the public that Rachel values her reputation and that she will consider all of her legal options against anyone or any entity which defames her." [TMZ]
• Sources say Rachel Uchitel has been getting death threats from people who got her cell phone number from a 2001 photo posted on the internet. [TMZ]
• Over the weekend Chris Brown posted a profanity-laced rant on Twitter because he couldn't find his album Graffiti at the Walmart in Wallingford, Connecticut. A Walmart spokesman responded: "We are surprised at the comments online. All Walmart stores nationwide have carried the CD since its release, including the Wallingford store mentioned in the post. This store actually sold through its initial shipment over the weekend. The majority of our stores today are showing they do have copies available." [People]
• You won't miss a minute of Joel Madden's mouth surgery thanks to Twitter. He's been updating everyone on his recovery all weekend. [Radar Online]
• Hailey Glassman has reunited with her mother after an estrangement sparked by her relationship with Jon Gosselin. Hailey wrote on Twitter: "I got the best present for Hanukkah, which was my family n I reunited after all the outside manipulations and lies by 'others' ... This is the 1st yr. I don't care about a gift. My family is my gift n I am so grateful. I'm with my Mom right now,we are doing face masks! :-)." [Radar Online]
• Although some sources are claiming Orlando Bloom proposed to Miranda Kerr, Bloom's rep says, "There is no truth to any rumors of engagement." [People]
• Jude Law was sitting next to Robert Downey Jr. at a Sherlock Holmes press junket when reporters asked about his relationship with Sienna Miller. Jude replied: "The only person I'm in love with at the moment is sitting on my left." [The Mirror]
• David Beckham's London football academy is closing, but the school will live on. A spokesman said: "The David Beckham Academy itself is not ending, this site is coming to the end of its lease but we are planning a more flexible model which will reach communities and schools across the country and internationally." [The Independent]
• Fans have been sending messages of support to the Duggars because their 19th child Josie Brooklyn was born three months early on December 10 and is in the NICU for extended care. [People]
• Hugh Grant said he was drunk when he told an assistant to bid £2 million on an Andy Warhol painting of Elizabeth Taylor, but it worked out for the best: he sold it later for £13 million. [The Guardian]
• Grizzwald "Grizz" Chapman, who plays part of Tracy Jordan's entourage on 30 Rock, is on dialysis three times a week for severe hypertension. He's on a five-year waiting list for a kidney transplant, but he has to lose 75 pounds before he can hae the operation. [E!]
• Taylor Swift had a Christmas-themed 20th birthday party and donated $250,000 to schools around the country as a gift to herself. "Something I wanted to do at the end of this amazing year and especially on my birthday was give back to something I really believe in, which is education," said Swift. "The schools that I went to and the amazing people I got to learn from really turned me into who I am, and I wanted to give back." [People]
• Snoop Dogg shot another guest appearance on One Life To Live. "As I said when I was here last time, I've been a fan of One Life to Live since I was a baby because my momma always had it on," said Snoop Dogg. "It's cool to come back and hang with Bo Buchanan and the people in Llanview and ‘rock out with them." [WSJ]
• Cate Blanchett was an hour and a half late to a performance of A Streetcar Named Desire in Brooklyn because it was rainy and icy and she was traveling from out of town. After the curtain calls she said, "Thank you all for hanging around. The weather conspired against us. There's black ice out there. Be careful getting home." [NYT]
• Coldplay is selling instruments they've used and other memorabilia on eBay in an "End of Decade Clearout Sale" to benefit the charity Kids Company. [UPI]
• Jersey Shore's Nicole Polizzi, a.k.a. "Snooki", says: "We are better than The Hills... It is all real." (Insert your own tanning joke here.) [Us]
• UNICO, the largest Italian-American group in the country, is pushing Pap John's Pizza, Nivea, LG Electronics and Burger King to pull their advertisements from Jersey Shore because it's a "discriminatory, insulting and Italian-bashing program." [TMZ]
• Maxwell is back after an eight-year hiatus. "Sometimes I just get sick of myself," he said. "That's kind of what happened in 2001. I didn't want to see another photo; I didn't want to hear me. I just sort of needed a coffee bean in the perfume shop of who I was, you know what I mean?" [CNN]
• In Esquire's "What I've Learned" column Sting says: "You don't have to be the greatest singer in the world. What you need to be is unique. Whenever you open your mouth, people should know: 'Oh, that's Van Morrison.' Or 'That's Bob Dylan.' Or 'That's Bono.' You want to get to that point where you have a unique vocal fingerprint. Then it's about refining that sound and making it more and more you." [Esquire]
• Zoe Saldana, who stars in James Cameron's Avatar, says, "He's been impacted by interesting women all his life, because you can tell he's in tune with his feminine side. I've learned this about men who write good roles for women - there's a very beautiful sentimentality to them. Their exteriors are sugarcoated with this manly presence, but deep on the inside, there's also this [fragility]." [WSJ]
• Former model Sienna Miller says of V magazine doing a plus-size issue, "I suppose that's something you'd have to say - I couldn't sit here and say, 'No, I'm not [into it] ... but I sincerely believe that that's more beautiful than someone who is poker-thin. I really do. I would love to have boobs to go with my hips, but I don't - that's just not the way the cookie crumbled." [New York Magazine]

• Tiger Woods reportedly still hasn't brought in a public relations crisis team to help him deal with the public fallout and media blitz surrounding his "indiscretions," even though it was recommended to him when the scandal broke. [RadarOnline]

• "They've been completely ineffective in handling this scandal from a pr standpoint," says a source, "It's just gotten worse and worse." [RadarOnline]
• The scandal is starting to take its toll on Tiger's sponsors, as well: Gillette spokesman Mike Norton says the company is pulling back on all ads featuring Woods in order to "support him as he takes a break from his professional career and that's why we're supporting him by limiting his role in our marketing programs." [BostonGlobe]
• Nike also supports Woods, stating that the company will stand by him through his troubles: "Tiger has been part of Nike for more than a decade. He is the best golfer in the world and one of the greatest athletes of his era. We look forward to his return to golf. He and his family have Nike's full support." [USWeekly]
• AT&T, meanwhile, says they "support Tiger's decision and our thoughts will be with him and his family," and "are presently evaluating our ongoing relationship with him." [NYDN]
• And News of the World is reporting that Elin Nordegren is set to dump Tiger after Christmas: "In the short-term they'll act like any other loving couple," says a source, "Elin won't break it all up right away. But she does need some time alone to herself and a legal separation will happen very quickly." [NewsoftheWorld]
• "If I wanted to tell people what I do with my vagina, I'd have made a sex video a long time ago. Largely, people don't know the whole story about anything. But still they need to put a name on it so that they can label it and put it on the side and not have to dedicate time to figuring it out. It's laziness."-Michelle Rodriguez on rumors about her sexuality. [TimesOnline]
• Hugh Grant says he was drunk when he spent $2 million on an Andy Warhol painting of Elizabeth Taylor in 2001; he later sold the painting in 2007 for $13 million. "I slightly regret selling it now," he says, "even though it made me rich." [DailyMail]
• Bonnie Wright says her older brother had read the Harry Potter books and thought she'd reminded him of Ginny Weasley, the character she ended up playing in the Potter films. "I was only nine at the time and didn't know who any of the characters were" Wright says, "but I read the first one and was hooked. When my mum came home from work, I said, "Please, please can you get me an audition for Harry Potter?" [DailyMail]
• "I always got on very well with John. He took the piss out of me, which made me laugh. He was a character, sarcastic, full of quips. When the Beatles had their first record out, "Love Me Do", John played it to me and I came out with a classic: 'You should sell this to the Everly Brothers.' Shows you what I knew! He never let me forget that. Whenever I saw him he'd say 'We're still writing songs for the Everly Brothers' and piss himself laughing."- Jimmy Tarbuck, who went to school with John Lennon [Guardian]
• Holly Madison has been spotted recently with Good Charlotte's Benji Madden, though she claims he isn't her boyfriend, but her "adventure buddy." [People]
• Jonathan Togo of CSI:Miami was arrested and charged with felony domestic violence after an argument with his girlfriend. [TMZ]
• Kim and Khloe Kardashian buy underwear, news at eleven. [PageSix]
• Carey Hart is apparently not afraid of the old tattoo-breakup curse, as he had his wife, Pink's face tattooed on his leg in a ""day of the dead style." [People]
• "People do discover new music, but it's very difficult. Modern music to most people sounds strange and abstract and painful to the ear, but nonetheless I think it's worth extolling. You need to discover something new. That's what human beings need: newness, novelty."-Sting [People]
• And, perhaps in a bid to qualify Sting's claims, Spencer Pratt has registered his own music company, "King Spencer Music." [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, Sting's son, Jake Sumner has been tapped to shoot a short film for DKNY, starring Christina Ricci. [PageSix]
• Mariah Carey is set to embark on her first tour in three years: the "Angel's Advocate" tour will kick off on New Year's Eve in NYC and end in Las Vegas in February. [Reuters]
• Summit Entertainment, the studio that distributed Twilight, also plans to release Roman Polanski's The Ghost Writer in 2010. [Reuters]
• Jennifer Hudson says she's a "holiday fanatic" who loves to celebrate Christmas: "It hurts me so when I see people like, 'Whatever, Christmas is just another day.' I'm that person who's going to go over there and get you into the holiday spirit. And that's how I've always been." [People]
• Halle Berry says she has been volunteering at the Jenesse Center, an LA-area battered women's shelter, for years, as "I saw my mother battered, and could not do anything to stop it. My father was tyrannical, lashing out at her for no reason. I felt the effects that had on our family." [PageSix]
• "To anyone who has a dream I say follow that dream. You are never too old. It is never too late. And dreams can become a reality."-Susan Boyle [People]

• The Tiger Woods case may be closed, but a Los-Angeles based cocktail waitress, Jaimee Grubbs, is telling Us Weekly that she had a 31-month fling with Tiger. And:

Another woman from a nightclub in Las Vegas is expected to be named any minute now. Can of worms, you guys. Can of worms. [MSNBC Scoop]

• More on this in Midweek Madness, but Us Weekly has voicemails from Tiger Woods in which he says: "Hey, it's Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone and may be calling you. So if you can, please take your name off that. Just have it as a number on the voicemail. You got to do this for me. Huge. Quickly. Bye." You can listen at the link. [Us Weekly]
• Jaimee Grubbs, the alleged recipient of the voicemail, allegedly bragged about her relationship with Tiger at work and played the voicemail for coworkers. Allegedly. [TMZ]
• Jaimee Grubbs also says she has photos and hundreds of "racy" text messages from Tiger Woods. [NY Daily News]
• More on Tiger's sexting here. One message reads: "I will wear you out... when was the last time you got [bleeped]?" [Radar Online]
• This report claims that Tiger Woods booked and paid for Rachel Uchitel's trip to meet him in Australia in November. [Radar Online]
• Lindsay Lohan was out Monday night, hanging with John Mayer and Samantha Ronson, and was "totally sober and well-behaved." No, really. [Page Six]
• According to this column, John Mayer was "playing relationship counselor" to Sam and Lindsay — getting Sam to talk to Lindsay, whom she initially ignored. The two ended up spending much of the night talking and laughing! John Mayer is magic! [Gatecrasher]
• Caaaaaaashmere sweaters! Oprah's "Favorite Things" episode may be back next year! [CNN]
• Like Taylor swift, Bon Jovi and Gwen Stefani, Jay-Z is suing an establishment for playing his music without paying. [TMZ]
• What's this? Justin Timberlake's new hair looks like his old hair? You don't say. [Gatecrasher]
• Adam Lambert is hoping one of his songs will be in the Twilight movie Eclipse: "It's kind of about vampires," he explains. "It's a great song. It's very theatrical ... very campy." SHOCKING. [Gatecrasher via MTV]
• Tragic times we live in: Britney Spears, Rihanna, David Beckham, Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom were all seen at LAX Monday — and they all few commercial. [Gatecrasher via X17]
• George Clooney's frequent flier tip: Wear slip-on shoes. "The shoes you have to tie, they take forever." But: "I never wear those goofy masks on my eyes. I am too worried about the guy in the next seat taking a picture of me. That is one photo that you can't live down." [People]
• Kim Kardashian has finally reached her "goal" in terms of her body, and you can see what that looks like in a pic at the link. [NY Daily News]
• Another amazing Twitter pic: Tyra and her real hair! [NY Daily News]
• The Russell Crowe Robin Hood movie promises to be "epic" and those involved are looking to "recreate that Gladiator magic." Production is "massive," claims Ridley Scott. Russell Crowe says: "I don't think there is a satisfying Robin Hood and that's one of the key reasons for wanting to make another one." Expect to see Robin with cropped hair and a beard, much like Maximus. [News.com.au]
• Clint Eastwood, who directed the Nelson Mandela film Invictus, says he finds Mandela "Christ-like." "There are just no people like this on the planet." [Showbiz 411]
• Stevie Wonder has been named a United Nations Messenger of Peace, which is a brilliant idea. [UPI]
• Rah rah ah ah ah: Barry Manilow hearts Lady Gaga. "I really think she's got something going for her," he says. [Reuters]
• Barry should know that a teen panel has declared that Lady Gaga and Jamie Foxx songs are the musical equivalent of junk food with "unhealthy relationship ingredients." But: "We aren't telling people what they should or should not be listening to," Barbara Ferrer, of the Boston Public Health Commission, said in a statement. "We are giving them a tool that will help them make an informed choice about what they put in their bodies." Fourteen teens attended a seven-week commission-sponsored institute on healthy relationship promotion and teen dating violence prevention, where they were taught to evaluate music based on themes of power, control, equality and gender roles. [USA Today]
• Sting was asked: "Do you feel uncomfortable travelling between various homes in various continents at enormous carbon cost?" by Newsnight's Jeremy Paxman, who added: You're not being blamed for the global crisis, you're just being called a hypocrite." Sting "squirmed in his seat." [Guardian]
• OMG OMG OMG: Joan Collins is hoping to take her makeover TV show Joan Does Glamour to the US! Hairspray, diamonds and shoulder pads for everyone! [Mirror]
• "Customers who buy a diamond at Ivanka Trump's Bridal Bar, where rings start at $15,000, will get a three-course dinner with champagne and a night in a Trump hotel in Manhattan." Get engaged — get a room. [Ny Daily News]
• Corey Feldman's going through a divorce and wants joint custody of his son and doesn't want to give his wife spousal support. [TMZ]
• Little Richard is out of the hospital after hip surgery and wants to work hard at recovery so he can "get back on the road as soon as possible." Let's hope he's feeling Tutti Frutti ASAP. [AP]
• Norah Jones has won her battle to transform the windowless side wall of her Amity Street mansion in Brooklyn's Cobble Hill by punching out 10 windows. [Brooklyn Paper]
• "Oscar-nominated actor James Woods has settled a lawsuit against a hospital in Rhode Island where his younger brother Michael died in 2006." [Mirror]
• Whatshername and Whatshisname reunited… To watch their son's nativity play. [The Sun]
• "I did show my line at Bryant Park, which is not in this season, but I knew that I had to really prove myself as a designer more than anybody else out there. There are so many celebrity lines and there are so many reality show lines, actually, that haven't really done well and haven't shown much design sense. So I had to prove myself even more, that I really did take this seriously. I think no one ever expected me to put so much heart and soul into it. I guess the verdict is still out regarding what they think of my talent." — Whitney Port. Lots more at the link. [LA Times]
• "We as a family are under a lot pressure. [People want] to make us look bad and wants us to fail. [With the Melrose Place firing, the world], again, always want to make it look like we're failures but we're really just a family that works hard. My children look at ups and downs and rise up above it all and remain strong...We're just normal people, and we always try to be who we say we are." — Joe Simpson on his daughters Ashlee and Jessica. [Us Magazine]
• "They are all different. I have died with my eyes open, which is more interesting than dying with your eyes shut. I can't remember how I died as Tolstoy, but I have done Cyrano de Bergerac on stage and I died with my eyes opened. I think that's marvelous, because in the theater the lights hold to your open eyes and it's kind of marvelously frightening for a second." — Christopher Plummer, who plays Tolstoy in his latest film The Last Station. [LA Times]
• "I think we should say something about class in America. It's the dirty little secret nobody wants to talk about… What about the people at the top who are evil and corrupt and don't want to change and don't want to give up the positions of power that they inhabit to make other people suffer and to make actual real horror in the world? They don't want to change. What do we do about them?" — Roseanne Barr tries to be the voice of the disappearing American middle class on her radio show, "The Tipping Point." [LA Times]
• "I think she's probably quite nervous... She's smart but make no mistakes, this will be a very different kind of show than what you're used to. Obviously everyone wants to sit next to me. I am thinking about pulling names out of a hat." — Simon Cowell on Ellen DeGeneres joining the judging panel on American Idol. [Mirror]
• "You can still contribute even if you are not as fortunate as I am. I've been blessed and I've been over-rewarded for what I do and I'm trying to give my time and my resources but you know, I'm a rich rock star, so shoot me." — Bono, urging people to buy products from the (RED) brand, which funds aid projects in Africa. [Telegraph]
• "A lot's changed since I was on TV. We have a black president now. Actually, Obama called me and asked me to help him with his campaign. He said he had two rules for me — don't use the 'N' word, and stay off TV. Figures the first black president would run on a platform of only taxing the rich, and now I'm rich!" — Dave Chappelle, in a surprise visit to Caroline's comedy club. [Page Six]
• "OK, so I didn't really go to high school parties. I didn't touch pot 'til I was in my 20s. I didn't get flat-out drunk until I went to college [Harvard]. But I think that's a good thing in many ways." — Natalie Portman. [Page Six via Marie Claire]
• "Not only is my performance raw in this film, but through most of the film I am naked from the waist down. So not only am I raw, I'm chafed." — George Clooney, joking about Up In The Air. [People]

• Jon Gosselin has been doing some soul searching (or hired a better publicist). Today, he publicly apologized to Hailey Glassman and insisted there's no Nadya Suleman-Jon Gosselin reality show, though his recent behavior "lent credence to such outrageous stories."

• Gosselin responded to Hailey Glassman sobbing about his emotionally abusive "mantrums" on The Insider, saying Hailey, "has paid a significant price to live under such a media microscope. I am grateful for her emotional support and I regret any pain that my actions have caused her as she has selflessly born the pressures I have endured under the media glare. I am committed to making things right with Hailey as well as Kate and especially my children. I ask you to please give me the opportunity to prove myself." [The Insider]
• In Jon Gosselin's second mea culpa of the day, he said he's "troubled to learn that the media has accepted as true the scurrilous rumor that I would appear in a reality television program with Nadya Suleman" but he understands why the rumors are plausible. "I am well aware that my behavior over the past few months has not always reflected my personal and religious values," he says. "I further accept that I have allowed myself to become somewhat severed from my own moral anchor and be carried away by the challenges of fame. It is for this reason that I have endeavored of late to reconnect with my deeper, more spiritual, more altruistic self with regular study sessions and counseling." [E!]
• Nadya Suleman says the reality show, "was a joke. No offense to Jon Gosselin but I'm all about my kids right now. I don't have time for a man in my life. As far as the reality show goes, I can't speak for Jon but as far as I know presently there are no definitive plans for a TV show." [Radar Online]
• TLC is grooming the Hayes family of Table for 12 to replace the Gosselins. The Hayes already have them beat because they have sextuplets and two sets of twins. [N.Y. Post]
• While Madonna was visiting the Malawi orphanage where she adopted her son David, one of the children reportedly told her, "You are our God. Where could we have been without you?" An onlooker said Madonna looked bemused by the comment but "seemed cool with it." [The Sun]
• Department of Justice Investigator Danny Santiago testified today that Anna Nicole Smith's former nanny, Nadine Alexie, told him she saw Howard K. Stern and Dr. Khristine Eroshevich force drugs on Anna Nicole. She would be knocked out for days and wake up with feces and vomit in her bed. [TMZ]
• Taylor Swift was photographed with a guy who had a swastika painted on his shirt as part of the fabric paint shenanigans at Katy Perry's birthday party last weekend. The dude in question, A.J. English, says Swift may not have realized what he had on his shirt when he pulled her in for a photo. He adds that the symbol on his shirt started out as a "X" but got "perverted," and he's not a racist or a Nazi sympathizer. [TMZ]
• Lady Gaga is planning to celebrate her father's successful open-heart surgery by getting a tattoo. "I'm gonna get a tattoo for him this week; I'm gonna get a heart that says 'Dad' in it," she says. "I told him I was gonna get it and he got all teary-eyed and he said, 'Well, you're running out of real estate, so don't get it too big.'" [Contact Music]
• Lady Gaga is including a lock of her hair in every super deluxe box set of The Fame. [The Mirror]
• Italian performance artist Francesco Vezzoli is creating a production called Ballets Russes Italian Style (The Shortest Musical You Will Never See Again) starring Lady Gaga and dancers from the Bolshoi Ballet for a November 14 performance at the Museum of Contemporary Art in L.A. [N.Y.T.]
• Slumdog Millionaire stars Azharuddin Mohammed Ismail and Rubina Ali may lose their monthly stipend and trust fund because they are both have less than a 37% attendance rate at school. [USA Today]
• Another man has been arrested near Miley Cyrus' Georgia movie set. 22-year-old soldier Sean Christian Mathis allegedly came by the set in June and yelled at Miley's stunt double, "Hey, it's Miley Cyrus, I'm going to fucking kill you." [TMZ]
• Literature professor August Coppola, Nicolas Cage's father and Francis Ford Coppola's brother, died on Tuesday of a heart attack. He was 75. [AP]
• Evi Quaid showed up to a town hall meeting in Marfa, Texas last night and allegedly vandalized the building and screamed at one of the clerks. She was upset because she and Randy Quaid are renovating their home but don't have the necessary permits. [Radar Online]
• Randy and Evi Quaid failed to show up for a court date in California again today; extradition papers are now being prepared and the couple will be arrested if they show up in California. [Radar Online]
• A judge ruled today not to punish Picewell Forbes for causing the John Travolta extortion trial to result in a mistrial because he's been, "rightly ridiculed locally and internationally ... It is my opinion that you have suffered enough." [TMZ]
• Several people whose lawsuits against Sacha Baron Cohen and 20th Century Fox over Borat were thrown out have banded together for a single appeal. They say they were tricked into signing a release form for the film and want their case to be heard by a jury. [Daily Express]
• Mary-Kate Olsen's rep insists her boyfriend Nate Lowman didn't propose to her in Paris. "Even though this information continues to be reported as 'fact,' the stories regarding Mary-Kate being engaged are not in any way accurate," says her rep. [People]
• Jessica Simpson says of traveling for The Price of Beauty, "I couldn't have had this journey at a better time in my life, to seek out beauty, to seek out confidence and to seek out the power of a woman... It really is about who I am and what I want to become, and what's going to make the best version of myself." [People]
• "Listen, I know I'm not easy to deal with. I'm controlling, and I want everything orderly, and I need lists. My mind goes a mile a minute. I'm difficult on every single level. I'm aware that I can be annoying." — Sandra Bullock [Parade]
• Possible Lost spoilers: Executive producer Damon Lindelof says, "The decision to kill Juliet was absolutely brutal... [Carlton Cuse and I] have to really love you to give you a finale death." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Robbie Williams has pulled out of the MTV European Music Awards next week due to "scheduling conflicts." [3 am]
• In an interview that airs today on Entertainment Tonight Chaz Bono talks about his transition from being a woman to a man saying, "I always felt male ever since I was a child." [ET]
• In her first interview since being attacked at a book signing Leona Lewis said, "It could have been worse. I'm still alive. It is just something you have to deal with when you have fame and the positives far outweigh the negatives." [The Sun]
• BREAKING: Paris Hilton hates the people who robbed her house. [TMZ]
• America's Next Top Model contestant Brittany says she had no problem with Tyra Banks' "biracial" photo shoot. "I think this is one of the best shoots of the cycle. Fashion, hair, wardrobe, makeup. Everything was incredible," she says. "She was going for something that was unique and fashiony and editorial. And it was at the same time appreciating history and culture... For Hawaii, she brought up the idea of the cane-sugar factory, where tons of people immigrated from all over the place. So it's just more celebrating the biracial lines that came from this...the lineage of Hawaii." [E!]
• Calista Flockhart says she never thought the dancing baby on Ally McBeal was ridiculous. "Honestly, I was quite intrigued by it," she says. "I thought it was smart! Obviously, it was symbolic of Ally's biological clock ticking away, and I thought, what a great way to do that. I loved the fantasy sequences; I loved that we got to see her imagination come to life." [Newsweek]
• Reese Witherspoon says that, for her new Avon fragrance Bloom, "I just wanted a scent memory of my childhood in Tennessee growing up. A lot of it is white flowers and gardenias and things that I grew up in the backyard loving. Things that I smelled on my mother and my grandmother that really inspired a feeling of being back home." [People]
• Sting joked that Barack Obama may be the divine answer to the world's problems. "In many ways, he's sent from God," he said, "because the world's a mess." Someone alert Madonna that the U.S. President has stolen her thunder! [AP]
• Sting wants to stop global warming because it may be making the winter shorter. He says: "I think the winter for the psychology of people who have lived in the northern hemisphere for thousands and thousands of years is incredibly important. We need this psychological time to recharge our batteries, to rethink, to reflect. Without that I think we would probably go crazy. We need the winter, so I worry greatly about global warming. We need to do something radical to stop it." [CNN]
• Mo'Nique says she was able to play an abusive character in Precious because, "I knew Mary Jones. [The family member] was a monster to me as a child. I was excited to play that role, if that makes sense, for that story to be told. So maybe a young lady, or a young man, won't go through life having to carry it around as if you have this great secret." [WSJ]

• Lindsay Lohan accidentally ruined a cake at a Victoria's Secret party, as she thought the cake was actually a giant perfume bottle. "She accidentally poked a hole right in the middle of it." says a source. Team Pie shenanigans! [PageSix]

• Meanwhile, Michael Lohan is furious that the judge at Lindsay's recent probation hearing didn't order his daughter to go to rehab: "She needs to put my daughter in rehab," Lohan says, "How could that judge have let her just walk in to court and walk right back out? The least they could have done was give her a drug test at the door." [RadarOnline]
• Dina Lohan however, just used her Oh Snap Flowchart on Michael, releasing this statement: "Michael Lohan needs to focus on being a parent, paying child support, of which he is six months behind, and making up for all the years he was an absentee dad," Dina says, "And stop going on national television talking about his children publicly."
  Lindsay, meanwhile, is reportedly considering taking a restraining order out against her father. [People]
• Mickey Rourke allegedly is "fascinated with the Mafia" and once "created his own crew in a "male-bonding ceremony" in Los Angeles with 13 friends who swore allegiance to one another." [PageSix]
• Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper were spotted together in Vancouver, and according to DJ Leanne who dined at the same restaurant as the couple, ""Renée was very happy. She was laughing, smiling. They were very cute. They were definitely having a good time and seemed happy." [People]
• Stephanie Santoro, former nanny to the Gosselins (who also claims she hooked up with Jon), says that the Gosselin kids love filming Jon and Kate Plus 8, and that Jon Gosselin is on a monstrous power trip right now. All he does want out of everything is control. He wants to be in control of everything in his life," she said, "including Kate." [LATimes]
• "I was pretty upset. I don't like to think of him sitting in a prison cell. But I wouldn't comment upon it because it's a very complicated issue, you know? It seems odd. He's been living in Switzerland for years and I've visited him there, so this is all very strange."- Ewan McGregor on Roman Polanski [LATimes]
• Kiera Knightley, Amy Winehouse, and Nicole Kidman all all being considered to play Dusty Springfield in an upcoming biopic. [DailyExpress]
• "I don't see it as being from a misogynistic point of view. On the contrary, I don't find any hatred there. For me, the woman character was him. I felt I was playing him. The vulnerability of that woman is Lars."-Charlotte Gainsbourg on her role in the controversial film, Antichrist. [LATimes]
• "It's funny, because I haven't had one ounce of Botox or any of that. I finally got gray hairs in the past couple years, and I wore it on ER, but they made me cover it up in this show. I don't want to be one of those weird-looking guys who gets old but stays looking young."-John Stamos on his youthful appearance [TheAdvocate]
• "I'm old. It's an interesting thing to watch yourself grow older on screen. I was watching Up In The Air and I thought, 'Jesus, who's the old gray-haired guy?' And it was me. I never wear makeup for movies and now it's starting to show."- George Clooney [Telegraph]
• Busta Rhymes has been ordered to pay $75,000 to a man he assaulted in 2003. [UPI]
• Jermaine Jackson's ex-wife, Alejandra Jackson, claims that Jermaine owes $35,550 in court-ordered child support. [TMZ]
• Kim Kardashian's was robbed last night; the robber made off with several pieces of jewelry, including a Cartier watch. [TheSun]
• Megan Fox was crowned "Best Sci-Fi Actress" at the Spike TV Scream Awards last night. [DailyMail]
• "Most of my humor is how totally ridiculous I am. I can find endlessly funny things about me or our life. The grand statement followed upon stepping in the pile of poo."- Ted Danson [LATimes]
• Real Housewives' star Bethenny Frankel is engaged to boyfriend Jason Hoppy. "It feels great, because I'm with the right person," Frankel says. [People]
• Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are rolling their eyes at this right now, according to a source who says the pair "never used to pay attention to what was being written about them in the media but in recent weeks, they've become fascinated by it. They're obsessed with Googling themselves to find out what the bloggers and fans are saying about them. They find all the rumors hilarious!" [ShowbizSpy]
• Madonna is currently being sued by neighbors in her Central Park apartment building, who claim Madonna is using the space to rehearse and subjecting them all to "blaring music, stomping and shaking walls," for three hours a day. [Mirror]
• Are Madonna and Guy Richie getting back together? A source says maybe possibly who knows: "The pair of them have huge egos so, rather than speaking directly to one another, they are using friends to relay information. The truth is both Guy and Madonna are becoming more and more open in their admissions that in many ways they regret getting divorced." [ShowbizSpy]
• "When I'm singing in the studio, I have an image in my mind of sitting at a table with somebody and they're sitting right across from me and I'm telling them something," he says. "There's a lot of music and a lot of people out there who can tell you how they feel, but if you can tell somebody how they feel and they didn't realize it until you told them, then you've got something." -Tim McGraw [WashingtonPost]
• Hugh Jackman's people are reportedly pushing the actor to turn down a second stint hosting the Oscars, as "he's a movie star, not a song and dance man." [DeadlineHollywood]
• Sting's wife, Trudie Styler calls him "Pookie," because, as Sting explains, "Pookie means magic mushroom. It's because we used to take so many when we were younger." [TheSun]

• The details of Fashion's Night Out — aka Anna Wintour's Plan To Save Retail — have been announced. Over 700 stores in all five boroughs will be participating in events that range from sewing circles to cook-ins to rock shows:

• Celebs and designers who will be in attendance at the various festivities include Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen, Francisco Costa, Manolo Blahnik, Isaac Mizrahi, Kate Mulleavy, Diane von Furstenberg, Liev Schreiber, Stephanie Seymour, and Anna Wintour herself. Although all the tee shirt customization and free music will be enough to drag us around to at least a few stores come September 10, we're also tremendously excited by the idea of taking salsa lessons taught by Juan Carlos Obando. [WWD]
• As is to be expected, Vogue is apparently attracting a lot of attention from cost-cutting consultants McKinsey. Dare we hope that McKinsey will shake things up at the tired mag, and shake them hard? In other Condé Nast news, Teen Vogue's very stylish accessories editor, Taylor Tomasi Hill, is leaving to take a position at Marie Claire. There are no plans to replace her. [Fashionista]
• Agent Provocateur is launching a new line of super-expensive lingerie it's calling couture. Agent Provocateur Soirée will launch with an in-season show at New York Fashion Week on September 9, and hit stores in November. Prices top £2450. [Elle UK]
• The second issue of Love is out, and it turns out the preview image that surfaced online last month actually is one of the covers — editor Katie Grand chose Alex Hartley, and 18-year-old bass player she found on the Internet, for one cover, and Sting spawn Coco Summer for the other. [Fashionologie]
• Katie Grand had 35 guests at her recent wedding. Thirty-five guests who finished 28 bottles of vodka. Our kid of woman. [ToL]
• Dasha Zhukova, the 28-year-old heiress, art gallerist, and Grand's replacement editor at Pop, is rumored to be pregnant by her 42-year-old boyfriend, Roman Abramovich. [P6]
• An image of Scarlett Johansson which might be part of the ad campaign for a Dolce & Gabbana perfume launching later this year has leaked. The perfume is called Rose The One, and the picture is very soft and rosy looking, plus Johansson is already confirmed to be the face of the scent, both of which are signs that point to yes. [SassyBella]
• Tori Spelling has launched a children's clothing range. Little Maven will cost $26-$88, and is designed for kids up to 4 years of age. [Daily Mail]
• Naomi Campbell and Queen Rania of Jordan were introduced while holidaying in the south of France. There's no word on what they discussed upon meeting. [Daily Mail]
• The mayor of Kennesaw, Georgia, which is male model Sean O'Pry's hometown, is today giving the 20-year-old an official proclamation, because O'Pry speaks highly of Kennesaw in the interviews he does between gigs for Armani and Calvin Klein. [P6]
• Comme des Garçons and Converse are giving their collaboration wider distribution this fall. Four styles of the Comme des Garçons-designed sneakers will go on sale in select cities at the end of this month, and worldwide in October, for $100 a pop. [WWD]
• When asked about the person who irrevocably changed the way she looked at fashion, Heidi Klum generously named Karl Lagerfeld, despite the designer's stated dislike of her. [Newsweek]
• Everybody is wearing Lolita glasses. And by everybody, we mean Madonna, Drew Barrymore, Katy Perry, Nicole Richie, Kelly Osbourne, and Kim Kardashian. Clearly we ought to be wearing them, too. Or something. [NYDN]
• If you are a man who wants to buy Levi's jeans that are "re-created using the original techniques from 1873" for $395, you can do so, at J. Crew's downtown men's stores. [WWD]
• Riam Dean, the young woman who was asked to work in the stockroom by Abercrombie & Fitch because of her prosthetic arm, has sold the full, terrible story of her experience of discrimination to the Daily Mail. Dean says the £9,000 she won from the company in damages hasn't covered her legal fees. [Daily Mail]
• Hats are back, again. This story gets re-written every six months. [WSJ]
• The alligator "harvest" begins later on this month in Florida, but wildlife experts expect the number of the creatures that will end up as purses this year to be drastically reduced: while revenue from alligator skins topped $71 million in Florida in 2007, a mere $10 million is this year's industry estimate. What doesn't make sense about all these stories about exotic skins, whether alligator, crocodile, or python, losing their marketplace appeal, is the fact that among luxury categories, the bridge products — wallets, keychains, and other "aspirational" branded baubles — are the ones that are experiencing the steepest decline in sales. Brands from Hermès to Louis Vuitton have reported that their most expensive offerings, like exotic skinned bags, are still experiencing strong sales — if not actually leading sales across the whole brand. So what gives? Are the pythons and gators going to be left to their own devices in the Everglades this season, or not? [MSNBC]
• H&M's same-store sales fell 3% on last year during the month of July; analysts had expected a more modest 1% drop, since the fast fashion chain has been performing relatively well in the recession so far. [Reuters]
• Following another disastrous quarterly result, Abercrombie has announced it plans to further cut its prices. [WSJ]
• Escada USA filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy in New York, one day after the German parent company opened bankruptcy proceedings there. [WWD]

• Breaking the hearts of every boy I went to elementary, middle, and high school with, Alyssa Milano married her boyfriend of three years, David Bugliari, in New Jersey yesterday. Bugliari's good friend, Bradley Cooper was in attendance. [People]

• Milano wore a Vera Wang gown and walked down the aisle to John Lennon's "Imagine." [E!]
• Madonna celebrated her 51st birthday in Poland earlier today, giving a concert for her fans, despite protests from local Catholics, who were angered that the singer's visit coincided with The Feast of the Assumption. [AP]
• Sting's daughter, Coco Sumner says that the rumors about her father's obsession with tantric sex were made up by his friend, Bob Geldof: "Bob Geldof made up this thing and it stuck and it's an international joke. It is a bit embarrassing when people bring it up. I don't really have anything to do with my parents' sex life. They love each other. So what?" [DailyMail]
• Kate Hudson's estranged father, Bill Hudson, is publicly asking the actress to reunite with him so that she can meet her 3-year-old half-sister, Lalania. DailyExpress]
• Robert Pattinson was attacked by three aliens at Comic Con! Naturally, he was terrified, until the "aliens" took off their masks to reveal they were just teenage Twilight fans. And then, of course, he was even more terrified. (No, not really. He was very nice to them, apparently.) [ShowbizSpy]
• Big Brother's Chima Simone was kicked off the program Friday night for "violating the rules," according to CBS. "She will not be part of the show's jury," the network says, "Her eviction will be addressed on an upcoming broadcast of the show." [EW]
• "I thought I'd asked enough people and triple-checked. But it is just one letter out, I think it's an easy fix. I think it's kind of funny too. How typical! As soon as I realised, I couldn't stop telling people and everyone would bust up laughing."- Hayden Panetierre on her misspelt tattoo [DailyMirror]
• Jennifer Westfeldt has reportedly been "angling" for a guest spot on boyfriend Jon Hamm's Mad Men, "but has been told by producers that 'they can't find the right storyline' for her." [PageSix]
• "I'm reacting against that attitude. This complete victimisation of the war with the violin music and the anti-war aspect to everything. These self-serious movies have been the deal for the past 20 years, whereas back in the 1940s, when the f***ing war was going on, it wasn't sacrilegious to make a war movie that dared to be entertaining. So I'm not going to apologise for being funny, or for making an exciting adventure movie."-Quentin Tarantino on Inglorious Basterds[TimesOnline]
• Just in case you care, Ashley Tisdale is NOT dating Taylor Lautner: "I have a bf. No idea where that got started." [ShowbizSpy]
• Tyra Banks eats frozen dinners and energy bars. Celebrities! They're just like us and so on and so forth. [PageSix]
• "I didn't have a normal social life, and sometimes I think it's why I'm insecure around a large group of people. I shut down a bit. People expect me to be what they see on stage, but that's not who I am in real life."-Beyonce [ShowbizSpy]
• Amy Winehouse is set to appear as a backup singer on the British television show Strictly Come Dancing in support of her goddaughter, 13-year-old Dionne Bromfield. [Mirror]
• Amy's estranged husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, says the two are talking again: ""We've been talking for the first time in months.I love her as much as ever. I know she still loves me, even though we're getting divorced. Maybe this time we can do everything properly and not mess it up." [NewsOfTheWorld]
• District 9 beat The Time Traveler's Wife at the box office on Friday, taking in 14.2 million dollars. [EW]
• Is Paula Abdul thinking of returning to American Idol? [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, Victoria Beckham has impressed the Idol producers during her guest stint on the show: "She was a revelation at the second audition and is now top of the list to permanently replace Paula," says a source, "She'd be crazy to turn it down. This job will set her up as a real star in the States." [NewsOfTheWorld]
• Katie Price claims her marriage to Peter Andre was a "sham." [DailyMail]
• George Michael says he was sober when he crashed into a truck on Friday: "Neither of us was charged because we were both stone cold sober. We both think the other is to blame so this is just an insurance fight. I don't want my fans or my family worried by what they are reading all over again." [TimesOnline]
• Lady Gaga's producer, Rob Fusari, says the singer has a "Tin Man heart" and that "to her men are like candy - take the wrapper off, chew it up a few times." [TheSun]
• Spencer Pratt celebrated his 26th birthday with a machine gun cake. As for Heidi Montag's birthday gift to her husband? A copy of her issue of Playboy, of course. A machine gun cake? Ugh. Team Cake does not approve of this mess. [JustJared]

[Ischia, Italy; July 11. Image via INF]

• A fan of Britney Spears rushed up on stage and tried to dance with Brit Brit on Saturday night in Connecticut. He was quickly surrounded by backup dancers and "escorted" away. There's video. [Perez]

• The dude in question (at Britney's concert) was drunk. He was arrested for breach of the peace and also booked for being "highly uncooperative" while in custody. [Daily Mail]
• Madonna's case in the adoption of Mercy James will be in the Malawi Supreme Court today. Will Mercy's biological father — who opposes the adoption — try to derail the proceedings? [Times of London, UPI]
• Madonna and Demi Moore have bonded over Kabbalah and the fact that they both have younger men; a source says they're hoping to arrange a double date soon. Do you think they'll have milkshakes? One glass, four straws? [Daily Mail]
• Madonna's daughter Lourdes hearts Lady GaGa! Madge and Lola went to Lady G's show in NYC and Lourdes was "singing along to every word." What's amusing is that since GaGa's megablonde and cartoonish, she's almost like a young Madonna, no? [Gatecrasher]
• David Hasselhoff was rushed to the hospital for alcohol poisoning over the weekend. His 16-year-old daughter found him unconscious and he was "barely breathing" when they got to the emergency room. [Radar Online]
• Amy Winehouse left the hospital — where she'd been after collapsing for dehydration — and went to a bar. [The Sun]
• Angelina Jolie's "curved bullet kill" in Wanted has been nominated for an MTV Movie Award in a new category: Best WTF Moment. Possibly because MTV would love it if Angie showed up. [E!]
• By the by: Andrew Morton, who penned biographies of Princess Di, Monica Lewinsky and Tom Cruise, will write about Angelina Jolie next. [Page Six]
• Casey Aldridge, boyfriend and baby daddy to Jamie Lynn Spears, is out of the hospital after flipping his truck. A "source" says "They're both at the house in Liberty [Miss.]... Now Jamie Lynn will have two babies to care for." [E!, People]
• "I'm not embarrassed about being bisexual," says Pink, according to this disreputable paper. [News Of The World]
• Pink has Twittered: "I just read that I'm bisexual. So 1991. Good thing people write articles about me so I can get my facts [straight]." Apparently the interview with the News Of The World was "entirely fabricated." [NY Daily News]
• Words you probably never thought you would see together: "Robert Pattinson's penis implant." [Yahoo News via Bang Showbiz]
• Crap. Jenny McCarthy has inked a deal with Oprah Winfrey's Harpo Productions and will develop a talk show, which, of course, Jenny will host. What do you think she'll talk about? Autism? Anyone? [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• Wolverine had an $87 million opening weekend, which is huge. But holding on to it might be tough: Star Trek opens this Friday. [NY Post]
• Now that you've suffered through Wolverine, know this: Hugh Jackman will star in Ghostopolis, a flick about a man who works for the government's Supernatural Immigration Task Force. His job is to send ghosts who have escaped into our world back to Ghostopolis. It's what they call "high concept." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• A writer hangs out with famed trainer Tracy Anderson: "According to Tracy, if I commit to an hour of her exercise regime six days a week, for the rest of my life, just like Gwynnie and Madge (whose remarkable bodies she proudly takes responsibility for), a 'teeny, tiny, lean and mean' figure will be mine. Voilà." [Daily Mail]
• Scarlett Johansson's directorial debut — a segment for New York, I Love You — is going straight to DVD. It's being called "unwatchable" and a source says, "It was really bad, so it was cut." [Daily Mail]
• Bethenny Frankel, one of the Real Housewives of New York, went out to a Hula-Hoop competition with a date… and the Times. She wore "a baby T and skin-tight Paige jeans." And said: ""My friends call me 'That Girl,' like Marlo Thomas. Like, I'm in New York trying to figure it out." [NY Times]
• Real Housewife Kelly Bensimon says of her ex, the guy she allegedly gave a black eye: "What guy does that? He acted like he was Rihanna." Her attorney calls Nick Stefanov a "jilted moron." [Newser via NY Daily News]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Elisabeth Hasselbeck says: "I'm definitely not paying attention to my pregnancy." That makes two of us! [People]
• Jay-Z is living in post-racial America, you guys. He performed at the University of Arizona and later blogged: "On the show as well were Third Eye Blind and Kelly Clarkson ... I thought that had to be the oddest pairing ever, but soon realized it's what I've always professed. There's NO such thing as Black music or White music only Good or Bad music." [MTV via RapRadar.com]
• Rihanna's new man is an ex; she was seeing Negus Sealy before she "made it." A source says: "He's a really smart guy - clever, good looking, very cool. All the girls adore him and call him the Love God." [Daily Mail, NY Post]
• Victoria and David Beckham are house-hunting in Italy; he's been playing for AC Milan while Vicky and the kids stayed in L.A. since the boys are enrolled in CA schools, but now that summer's coming, it's Ciao, Hollywood. [Daily Mail]
• John "The Player" Mayer is single again. It seems that model he was dating talked too much. To the press. Although who knows. [Gatecrasher]
• Cindy Crawford's husband, Rande Gerber, is being sued for sexual harassment by two female employees at a San Diego business he owns. [Page Six]
• Someone asked Russell Brand if he would shag reported virgin Susan Boyle. "I don't think I should be the one to do that," he said. "Susan deserves a nice strapping farmer from the North." Related: What is wrong with people?!?! [The Sun]
• Gisele Bundchen rarely poses for pictures with her new husband Tom Brady: "Tom hates being photographed," she explains. [Gatecrasher]
• Mark McGrath is no longer the host of Extra, so he's trying to make music again. Sugar Ray comeback album, people. Titled: Music For Cougars. Naturally. [Page Six]
• Princess Eugenie was mugged in Cambodia. [Mirror]
• Enrique Iglesias and his manager allegedly ran over the foot of an 11-year-old girl as they were leaving a radio station appearance back in 2007. Lawsuit alert! [TMZ]
• A Little Britain movie could be coming to the United States. [The Sun]
• Sting's daughter, Coco Sumner, fell and fractured her skull outside of a restaurant. She is recovering "well." [Daily Mail
• Vanessa Hudgens has settled a breach of contract lawsuit filed against her by a producer who worked with her very early in her career. [UPI]
• Another day, another claim that Coldplay's music is stolen. This time it's Cat Stevens — sorry — Yusuf Islam, who says: "There's been this argument about Coldplay stealing this melody from Joe Satriani, but, if you listen to it, it's mine! It's the Foreigner Suite, it is!" [The Sun]
• An excerpt from a Paul Newman biography has details about the actor's relationship with Joanne Woodward — which started when he was married to someone else. "I was probably too immature to make a success of my first marriage," Newman allegedly said. "Guilty as hell" was how he described himself about his first marriage, adding: "And I'll carry it with me for the rest of my life." [Daily Mail]
• Blind item: "Which D-list rapper got in a hemp, er, heap, of trouble with event sponsors when he lit up a joint at their bash? They couldn't kick him out because he was the 'big' celebrity name of the night, but they didn't end up paying him." [Gatecrasher]
• "Famous female singers tend to moan and whine a lot about being famous. Damn, I'm Pink and my bank account hasn't seen a red zero for a long time, and I can do what I love best — sing. Isn't that something that makes life better?" — Pink. [News Of The World]
• "When you come to film in Rome, the official statement to you is that the Vatican has no influence. Everything progressed very smoothly, but unofficially a couple of days before we were to start filming in several of our locations, it was explained to us that through back channels and so forth that the Vatican had exerted some influence. Was I surprised? No. Am I a little frustrated at times? Sure." — Ron Howard, on shooting Angels & Demons. [AP]
• "It is good fun and the part feels like it was written for me. Chuck has witty lines, gets to dress up and has very nice clothes […] [Sometimes] I [keep and] wear the suits. They're killer, don't you think? There is a lot of stuff I wouldn't wear, but he really puts it together very well. The whole outfit just comes together as an interesting look." — Ed Westwick. [Mirror]
• "Nia is like a rock star over there. You walk down the streets of Greece and people just go nuts, it's like you're with Tom Cruise or something." — Rachel Dratch, who is in the new Nia Vardalos flick, My Life In Ruins. [CBS News]
• "I've always rather admired you but now I realise you're an absolute ——. I'm only sorry I didn't get a chance to kick you when I fell over – maybe next time." — Judi Dench, in response to a critic who called her latest play "deeply dodgy" and "fit only for pretentious masochists." [Telegraph]
• "All of these shows are derivative of the shows that we used to do. The topics, some of the story lines, they're all very similar to what we did every day on the show for 11 years. When you have dynamic people that have some sort of conflict and put them in a confined space together, it's bound to be dramatic." — Ricki Lake, new host of Charm School, thinks the reality genre is a lot like her old talk show. [NY Daily News]

• Oh, yikes. According to Stephanie Pratt her brand new sister-in-law, Heidi Montag wants "four boys, four Spencer Pratts!" Creepy flesh colored beard enthusiasts across the country are no doubt celebrating this slightly terrifying news. [USWeekly]

• Despite negative reviews, Wolverine topped the box office with 34 million dollars on Friday. [E!]
• Actress Missi Pyle recently wed naturalist Casey Anderson, and the best man was Brutus, an 800 pound Grizzly bear that Anderson has raised from birth. Wonder where they got the tux rental? [DailyExpress]
• "I'm quite honestly getting seriously fed up with being falsely connected with several men on Page Six: Josh Hartnett, Heath Ledger, and now it is insinuated (we all know what 'befriended' means on these pages!) that Sean Penn is another. There has never been any intimacy between myself and any of these men, and I want this cleared once and for all."-Helena Christensen [PageSix]
• Mine That Bird a 50-1 shot, emerged victorious at the Kentucky Derby yesterday. [NBCSports]
• Christina Applegate has been selected as People's Most Beautiful Person of 2009. [ONTD]
• "I'm definitely not paying attention to my pregnancy. That won't be true for the child [when it arrives]. But now, when you have two kids running around you're not the pregnant person you were before." -Elisabeth Hasselbeck [People]
• Comedian Robert Schimmel has been arrested on suspicion of beating his wife. [NYTimes]
• Nicole Richie has blogged about the girl group she was in when she was 13 or so. "Our name? get ready… CAUTION!," she writes, "And I even remember part of our rap. I'm getting chills of embarrassment even typing this. The rap lyrics I remember were: Caution! Walking down the street.You better watch out, and step to the beatPlaying our music from town to town Rockin' and Rollin' were [sic] gonna get down!"[JustJared]
• "It was a town of hair metal and we hated it. Girls were supposed to be sexy whores in white pants - they weren't allowed to rock. We played in bars and ignored what people said. After all, we knew that the people who thought they were badass didn't rock at all!"-Kim Deal [Guardian]
• Hugh Jackman is desperate to bring a Carousel film to the screen, and hopes to get Anne Hathaway to join him. "I've been looking to do a musical film for some time and after things like Moulin Rouge!, Chicago and Hairspray, I think there's a real opportunity there," Jackman says, "I've been filling up [Hathaway's] answering machine with messages about Carousel." [DailyExpress]
• Halle Berry, who has apparently forgotten the mess that was Catwoman, says she'd be interested in an X-Men spinoff featuring her character, Storm. "I think that would be great," Berry says, "Storm deserves her own movie - if I can still fit into the suit."[JustJared]
• "I'm in AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) now, too. I've had drinks, but it has been a levelling-out process. Am I an alcoholic? I may not be. I don't know. But I also know that, in the situation I'm in, with temptations what they are, I have no room for alcohol in my life."- Shia LeBeouf, keepin' it anonymous. [DailyExpress]
• Madonna and Demi Moore have reportedly bonded over the fact that they both have "younger lovers." "Demi has been really supportive of Madonna in her relationship with Jesus," says a source, "She knows more than anyone how great it is to date a younger guy and hopes they can make it last." [DailyMail]
• Meanwhile, the biological father of Mercy James, the Malawian girl that Madonna is trying to adopt, says that he wants to raise Mercy in her own culture. "I want to take care of her, and I'm capable of taking care of my baby. Mercy, she is a Malawian, so [I] need her to grow as a Malawian ... with our culture." [People]
• Rihanna is moving on, and has rekindled a teenage romance with Negus Sealy, much to the delight of her loved ones. "The family are delighted about her seeing Negus again," says a source. [ShowbizSpy]
• Dennis Rodman's wife attempted to stage an intervention, but Rodman wasn't interested. "He wouldn't go because he doesn't want to miss the taping of the 'Celebrity Apprentice' reunion," says a source. Rodman's rep replied: "Yes, they tried an intervention but, unfortunately, Dennis refused to go. We all know how amazing he is when sober, and we hope he gets there soon." [PageSix]
• Sting's daughter, Coco Sumner is currently in the intensive care unit after falling outside of a restaurant and fracturing her skull. "‘Coco went flying and landed with a real crash. She really took a tumble.One of the waiters helped her to her feet but she complained that she didn't feel well," says a source, "She hadn't had anything to drink and it happened quite early into the evening." [DailyMail]
• Kate Moss and Jamie Hince are on the rocks again, after Kate discovered that Jamie had "struck up a friendship" with another woman while on tour. [DailyMail]
• Are Victoria and David Beckham getting ready to leave the States for Milan? "Victoria is going off LA and was embarrassed that her designs didn't take off there," says a source, "They did well in the UK and she accepts that Europe is a better market for her." [DailyMail]
• "I would also be just as happy with a new women. I'm not complicated, I sing about love in all its shapes, forms and colors. I speak my mind, I sing about everyday stuff such as homosexuality and sadly the homophobia that always comes with it.Famous female singers tend to moan and whine a lot about being famous. Damn, I'm Pink and my bank account hasn't seen a red zero for a long time, and I can do what I love best-sing. Isn't that something that makes life better?"-Pink [ShowbizSpy]

• There will be more on this in Midweek Madness, but this is bananas: Star says that Chris Brown proposed to Rihanna in Miami. Secret wedding?!?! [Star]

• Jennifer Aniston's hair cost £40,000. Well, not really, but she did fly her hairdresser to Europe for a week. [Daily Mail]
• Michael Jackson's comeback is a go: He'll take over London's O2 arena for two months this summer. Apparently his new album has collaborations with Kanye West, Ne-Yo and Will.I.Am. [Daily Mail]
• Perez Hilton went to Britney Spears' first show in New Orleans and says she looked great, "the outfits were fab and her body was bangin! Her leg muscles are ridic!" As for the music? "She lipsynchs [sic] during the entire concert. There is no live singing. None!" [Perez]
• Someone from People also went to the show and writes: "To cap off the show, pyrotechnics made firey rain sprinkle down on Spears and her dance crew as they finished performing "Womanizer.'" [People]
• Madonna doesn't like it when Britney is played in clubs. This report says when a Brit track played at a party, Madonna: "Flipped out, stormed upstairs, and spent the rest of the night aggressively making out with Jesus [Luz, her new boy toy]." [Page Six]
• Jennifer Lopez "borrowed" jewelry for an event, which means she was loaned some and then the jeweler got a call saying Ms. Lopez was going to keep the jewelry. [Page Six]
• Guy Ritchie and Jude Law got drunk and sang along to songs at Ritchie's London pub until 4:30am. From the looks of these pix, it was a boozy good time. [Daily Mail]
• What recession? Your friend Paris Hilton is having a £200,000 diamond-encrusted dashboard made for her pink Bentley. Stimulus package! [The Sun]
• This report claims that Amy Winehouse is trying to win Blake Fielder-Civil back with Frank Sinatra songs. Hmm, "My Way" isn't exactly a love ballad. [The Sun]
• "He dances like a very uptight, prim, erudite, white-haired man dancing at a wedding…" — from a feature on David Byrne. [Village Voice]
• Leonardo DiCaprio will star in Inception, a sci-fi flick written and directed by The Dark Knight's Christopher Nolan. The plot has to do with "the architecture of the mind," whatever that means. [Variety]
• Sherri Shepherd might get a show on Lifetime? There's a pilot based on the experiences of The View host in the works; the script involves a woman who chooses to deal with her husband's infidelity and his illegitimate child by allowing the child and mother to move in with them. [Reuters]
• Justin Timberlake likes truffle oil. [Page Six]
• Elizabeth Hurley has donated a picture of her son for use on a limited edition stamp, which will be sold on eBay to raise money for a domestic violence charity. Missing something here, why would anyone bid on a stamp-sized picture of her son? [Daily Mail]
• Natalie Imbruglia's new album will have input from ex-husband Daniel Johns and Coldplay's Chris Martin. [News.com.au]
• "Pop Superstar Sting Supports Pentagon Hacker, Condemns U.S." Wait, what? [Wired]
• The '00s really are over: Fatboy Slim is in rehab. [The Sun]
• How is it that 40-year-old Patsy Kensit is on wedding number 4? [The Sun]
• Nadya Suleman's ex husband, Marcos Gutierrez, would like you to know: "They are not my kids, but I wish her the best…" [People]
• Nadya Suleman says she'll tell her kids who her dad is. "He's a good platonic friend. He knows well that I will protect him, his identify forever," she told RadarOnline. "Whether or not he knows (the children) in the future, I don't know. This all has to go away first… it's his choice." If by "this" you mean media attention, it isn't going "away" any time soon. [MSNBC Scoop]
• How do you make a crying face emoticon? The videotape of Nadya Suleman giving birth to octuplets is being shopped around for seven figures. [TMZ]
• Jay Kay from Jamiroquai's Ferrari was damaged by a 21-year-old chef in a "moment of madness." [Daily Express]
• Usher issued an apology over statements he made in a video that shows him questioning Chris Brown's remorse after looking at pictures of the singer jet-skiing in Miami. [ONTD]
• Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan will star in a detective comedy called A Couple Of Cops. [Variety]
• Robin Williams has canceled several performances in Florida after experiencing shortness of breath. Be well! [USA Today]
• KISS frontman Paul Stanley is an artist, and his prints on canvas are, naturally, KISS-related. [Time]
• Cool Patricia Clarkson interview. The author describes her voice as one which "emanates from a sandpaper larynx coated in olive oil." [BlackBook]
• Blind items from Michael Musto: "Which American Idol star is a big, old, cigar-butt-chomping lesbo? (In fact, when a cable biography show was being done about her, her people wouldn't let them use early footage that strongly suggested sapphism.) Similarly, which married superstar with multiple Oscar nominations went on a cruise with his boy toy, during which time they ordered up every movie the actor has ever been in and cozily watched them in their cabin? I guess to this guy, porn is basically himself. If the trapdoor to his ego ever opens up, he might finally end up stretching his soul like I did this week. To great applause!" [Village Voice]
• More blind items: "Which female politician, who is married with children, is having an affair with a fellow Democrat who is also married with children? Her friends can't believe she's risking her career to indulge in illicit passion… Which veteran of the '60s antiwar movement was all over a 20-something fashion model sitting next to him on an LA-to-DC flight? The married pol suggested as they landed that she join him at his accommodations." [Page Six]
• Final blind item: "Which celebutard recently got dissed hard by the object of her affection? The lady in question was on the hunt for her stud -while he hid in a corner!" [Gatecrasher]
• "I wouldn't do that again. I did that once, and it was really fun. But that was then and this is now." —Belinda Carlisle, on posing for Playboy. [E!]
• "I hate it when two people are going at it and they turn over and suddenly they're covered up in blankets. I'm all in. I am not going to be wearing a sack. I'd want a little aggression, then we can rip each other's clothes off... We could have a pie fight." — David Boreanaz, on wanting a sex scene on his show, Bones. [Daily Express]
• "I do want another baby but not for a little bit. I've only just lost all the weight so I want to enjoy my old body for a while before I have to become a crazy alien again." — Milla Jovovich, who lost weight by "Diet and lots of exercise, I worked my big, little butt off. It's been a lot of work. At one point I just ate oatmeal, salmon and artichokes everyday for a week. It was definitely a lot easier putting it on!" [Mirror]
• "My kids are very inspired by the idea that you don't have to be just one thing in life. You don't have to just be an actor, you can actually talk about things you're inspired by and try to create the change that you want to see. They're very interested in green issues. They're very into recycling and composting - things they can do within their own school communities." — Reese Witherspoon, Avon goodwill ambassador in the fight against domestic violence and breast cancer and for emergency-relief fundraising. [USA Today]

[London, February 24. Image via INF]

• A little too late, Britney Spears regrets allowing her misdemeanor charge for driving without a license to go to trial. Maybe because the jury started deliberating on Friday and Brit realized if found guilty, she faces a maximum of six months in jail. The $1,000 fine? Not that big of a deal. [MSNBC]
• The Spears jury is presently deadlocked. They're split 10-2, but whether they're leaning toward guilt or innocence is not known. [CBS News, People]
• Britney! Live! On Good Morning America! December 2! [Page Six]
• Brit's hired Wade Robson to choreograph her new world tour. He's the one who did the Slave 4 U moves and can't wait to get started. Plus, he says of Brit's problems: "When you exist in a warped world, warped things are going to happen to you." [The Sun]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty are on vacation in Italy. Again. They were just there in July. [People]
• Chevy Chase was not impressed by Sarah Palin on SNL: "Quite frankly, it's a big mistake to let her go on," he says. "What was brilliant about Lorne [Michaels] was that he had nothing written for Sarah and that apparently she cannot improvise herself out of a paper bag!" He also says: "If anything, you just want her to be seen just from a distance. I'm sure she's very bright. But so is the Butterworth woman." [UPI]

• Gwyneth Paltrow on Madonna: "You know, she's a dear friend, and I'm supporting her in all [the] ways that I can. I'm just here for her. I'm just here on the other end of the phone, really. I speak to her a lot." [Us Magazine]
• Trudie Styler on Madonna and Guy: "They're both dear friends of mine and all good things sometimes come to an end. Obviously they've been struggling for a while. I think they're destined to become great pals." [The Sun]
• Guy Ritchie thinks Madonna spies on him. A source says he thinks of the split as "something concocted by the KGB," and told her: "This is a divorce, not the Cold War." [The Sun]
• Meanwhile, Alex Rodriguez was seen in Miami with his wife and daughter. [The Sun]
• The latest is Madonna wants to raise her kids in NYC. [People]
• Do pictures of Tea Leoni hanging out with Billy Bob Thornton prove anything about the state of her marriage at the time? [TMZ]
• Wow, David Duchovny plans to sue Britain's Daily Mail for claiming he cheated on wife Tea Leoni with 28-year-old tennis instructor Edit Pakay. Pakay says she hasn't seen Duchovny since last November and never had a romantic or sexual relationship [with him]." [Rush & Molloy]
• A 19-year-old hacker who published provocative snaps of Miley Cyrus was raided by the FBI Monday morning in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. He'd gained unauthorized access to her Gmail and her MySpace. The guy's also made about $50,000 exploiting an advertising scheme on MySpace. The moral of the story: Change your passwords often! [Wired]
• Scarlett Johansson will host the Nobel Peace Concert on Dec. 11 due to her "compassion and influence." [Yahoo News]
• Prosecutors in the Raffaello Follieri case are urging the judge to give him more than the four years in prison agreed to in his plea deal. They say he "committed crimes out of greed and a desire to live a lifestyle like the rich and famous." [AP]
• Joe Biden was on Ellen and called Proposition 8 "regressive" and "unfair." [SF Gate]
• Tom Cruise took son Connor (member him?) to see Tina Turner in concert last week, and after the show, Tom went to a dinner for Tina. Private dancer! [Page Six]
• Victoria Beckham, wedding planner! Melanie "Sporty Spice" Chisholm has asked Vicky to help plan her ceremony to fiancé Thomas Starr. Expect crisp white everything. [Pop Dirt]
• Kristin Cavallari of Lauguna Beach is hooking up with hot hottie Chris Evans of Fantastic Four. [Page Six]
• Paris Hilton hearts London. "I love the Brits, they rock! Everything from their personalities, style and of course the accents. I'd love to live here one day." Don't let us stop you! [Daily Mail]
• Venus and Serena Williams are posing in evening gowns on a tennis court for November's Bazaar. Click for pix! [Concrete Loop]
• Hugh Grant has dropped out of a romantic comedy called Lost For Words. He would have played a British actor approached to star in a movie by a Chinese director with whom he falls in love after a brief flirtation with her translator; Ziyi Zhang was cast in the role of the director. Hugh Grant will be replaced by a cocker spaniel, who promises to be as floppy and charming. [UPI]
• Eminem on that 2002 MTV Awards where he was seated in front of Moby and had a showdown with Triumph The Insult Comic Dog: He was drunk. [Rush & Molloy]
• Pamela Anderson was seen leaving a plastic surgery center with a bandage on her chest. What does it mean? [Perez Hilton]
• Gillian Anderson gave birth to a son last week, whom she named Felix. Her first son's name is Oscar. Her very own Odd Couple. Gillian also has a daughter named Piper. [Reuters, ET]
• The driver of a car in which Mary-Kate Olsen was riding backed into an an El Pollo Loco delivery vehicle in West Hollywood. M-K was out furniture shopping at the time. [TMZ]
• Teen Dream Zac Efron will be in Pirates Of The Caribbean 4. Disney's got to "groom" a successor for Johnny Depp. Not that you can replace Johnny Depp. Especially not with a dude from a teen musical. [The Sun]
• Here's a video of a Faberge egg that belonged to Princess Grace. It's making its first public appearance at the Clevland Museum. [Forbes]
• A burger restaurant in New York has a huge Andy Warhol hanging by the takeout window; guess who is pissed off? The Campbell's Soup people. They say the art makes it "seem that the restaurant is affiliated with or sponsored by Campbell in some way." [Page Six]
• Heather Locklear and Richie Sambora were together Saturday night — for the sake of daughter Ava, who was celebrating her 11th birthday. [TMZ]
• Here's a story all about the drug habits of the Rolling Stones. (Mick Jagger's been clean for years; Ronnie Wood and Keith Richards, on the other hand, were "permanently fuelled by a combination of cocaine and alcohol.") [The Sun]
• Sting received a kiss — described as a "terrifying snog" — from Little Britain transvestite character Emily Howard; aka David Walliams. [Mirror]
• Bond Girl Ursula Andress has suffered from osteoporosis for the last eight years: "My doctor told me that I had to take medication to save my way of life. I find it so strange because I had no pain, no warning. But that is the nature of the disease. You carry on as normal and you don't realise that your bone is becoming like glass." [Daily Mail]
• John Cleese: Baffled by the curtains in his California hotel room. [The Sun]
• Hmm, a blogger accused of leaking songs from the long-delayed Guns N' Roses album Chinese Democracy has pleaded not guilty to violating federal copyright laws. He could get three years in prison if convicted. Does this mean the album may actually get released??? [AP]
• Fergie, the Duchess of York, probably won't get married again: Her daughters don't want her to. She also says of Prince Andrew: "He said I must never say this, but he said, 'We are divorced to each other, not from each other.' We are the happiest unmarried couple." [Daily Mail]
• Ricky Gervais has an idea for an Extras Christmas special. He misses Extras more than The Office and says: "Andy Millman was more real than David Brent by the end of the show and I loved Maggie Jacobs - she was the best character we've ever come up with." [The Star]
• Katy Perry, whose single "I Kissed A Girl" has more than five million worldwide sales, says she really has kissed a girl. "Of course. I think I was 19. I kissed a girl and it was great." [The Star]
• Tim McGraw has co-written a book about a dad and his daughter, just hanging out. He says dads should bond with daughters, but not by getting pedicures or shopping: "Do what you have to do in your regular routine and take them with you. It makes all the difference in the world." [Yahoo News]
• Robert De Niro's hotel got a bad review. You talkin to me? [Jossip]
• Jamie King has been dealing with a stalker, and had to get protection from the cops. "It's very real and he was very aggressive," says a source. "He had recently escaped from a mental institute. It was scary." [E!]
• Apparently the cover of OK! with Jordan breaking up with husband Peter Andre was a trick/joke. [Perez Hilton]
• Daniel Craig is backing a £2 million campaign to fund a new lifeboat station near his childhood home. [Telegraph]
• Hulk Hogan's son: Out of jail. [AP]
• "You can’t ignore divorce rates. Every friend of mine has parents who are divorced. I didn’t go into it with Max thinking, 'This is going to last forever.' But I did go into it thinking, 'I love him right now and I know that I will continue to love him for a long while.'" — Peaches Geldof, 19, on her quickie marriage to Max Drummey. [Perez Hilton]
• "She said that small towns, that's the part of the country she really likes going to because that's the pro-America part of the country. You know, I just want to say to her, just very quickly: Fuck you." — Jon Stewart on Sarah Palin. [Perez Hilton]
• "In writing my memoirs, I have made a great many observations about myself and my sister Madonna. I will not be commenting on her divorce as that is a private matter between her and Guy Ritchie and would consider any commentary on my part dishonorable and disrespectful." — Christopher Ciccone. [MSNBC]
• "I’d never work out and lose weight if the part called for it. I’d say, 'that’s not the film for me.' It’s not real life, it’s ludicrous. If you fall for someone because they’ve got a jawline and a chest and they’re brain dead it won’t last! In life, real people fall for nice people all the time and Hollywood denies that a bit. That’s what I brought over from Britain." — Ricky Gervais. [The Sun]

• Lindsay Lohan will appear on SIX EPISODES of Ugly Betty, including the season finale. LL will play an old classmate of Betty's who is down on her luck. Naomi Campbell, Christian Siriano, Victoria Beckham and now Lindsay? It's official: Ugly Betty is the new Love Boat. [TMZ]
  
• Oooh, Lindsay's mugshot is being used in a drunk driving ad. [Reuters]
  
• Courtney Love was in the hospital over the weekend; homegirl has strep throat! Stay away. (Not that you needed a warning.) [Mirror]
  
• Thirty guests attended Jamie Lynn Spears's baby shower in Kentwood, LA on Saturday and big sis Britney was one of them. The ladies sat in a circle and opened gifts and nothing scandalous happened, yawn. [People]
  
• Britney hadn't been in her hometown since early 2007. Bet she misses some Southern cooking. [People]
  
• Miley Cyrus appeared at the Disney Channel Games concert Saturday night and thanked fans, saying: "Thank you guys for all your support. Without you, none of this would be possible. I love every one of you and I could not be more appreciative. God bless you." Then she took her top off. Kidding! [People]

• Boo! Amy Winehouse has backed out of recording the theme for the new James Bond flick because she's not ready to work. Also: Nothing rhymes with Quantum of Solace. [Variety]
• But! Amy will duet with Pete Doherty at a gig at Royal Albert Hall. Which sounds um, healthy? [Mirror]
• The nanny who is accusing Rob Lowe of sexual harassment also babysits for Shanna Moakler, whom you may know from the MTV show Meet The Barkers, as she is Travis Barker's ex-wife. [People]
• Oscar nominee Judy Davis is suing a Sydney newspaper over an article that implies she is a child-hating selfish hypocrite. The thing is, she doesn't want floodlights on a soccer field near her waterfront home. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Dina Lohan to Jill Zarin of The Real Housewives of New York: "I don't watch TV. Especially reality shows." Haha bet you will when yours starts airing! [Rush & Molloy]
• Kim Kardashian: Seen going for a laser cellulite treatment... With camera crews in tow, of course! A butt that famous needs lots of attention and tender loving care. [Rush & Molloy]
• Blind item! "Which newly minted TV star is a pushover who already looks ready for rehab? At an L.A. party, the actor was mocked into doing a bunch of shots, despite protesting numerous times that he had to drive that night." [Rush & Molloy]
• Lily Allen spent £300 at a nail salon last week but neglected to tip her technician, tsk tsk! [Mirror]
• Sean "Diddy" Combs was honored with a star on the Walk of Fame in Hollywood on Friday; his mom, kids and baby mama Kim Porter were all in attendance — and dressed to match. [Concrete Loop]
• Avril Lavigne has laryngitis and has canceled or postponed most of her tour. Get a refund, people! [People]
• Dinner with Erykah Badu is up for auction! The proceeds go to the African American Museum in Dallas. [UPI]
• Gary Dourdan is "embarrassed" about his arrest situation. But the luggage in his car with all the drugs wasn't his and the reason he pulled over and cops found him sleeping in his car was because he didn't want to drive while drunk. So there's that. [People]
• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes gave the Beckhams a wine tasting trip to Napa Valley for their birthday; Seal and Heidi Klum and Kate Beckinsale and Len Wiseman also came along. Hot couples wandering through the grapevines? Sounds like the opening scene of a very classy porn film. [Mirror]
• A woman is scheduled to testify at R. Kelly's upcoming child pornography trial, and will reveal that she had a threesome with R. and the allegedly underage girl in the infamous video. Wait, wouldn't that be a crime, too? Oh, the woman was also underage when she had the threesome. Great. And by great I mean awful. [TMZ]
• A Sting charity concert was meant to raise money for the rain forests, but less than half of the show's profits actually went to the cause. "What are they doing with the money?" the Better Business Bureau asked. Good question. [UPI]
• Orlando Bloom: Seen out drinking sake with a buddy instead of attending a fashion show where his girlfriend Miranda Kerr was in the front row. [News.com.au]
• Elle Macpherson is moving from London to her homeland of Australia. [News.com.au]
• Country star Gretchen Wilson, 34, passed her GED exam in April and will don a cap and gown and finally graduate from high school on May 15. Better late than ever! [AP]
• "I came to grips with my bum. Before, I always tied a shirt around my waist when I went for a run. It was ridiculous. I finally told myself, 'I'm not doing this anymore — I have nothing to hide.' I've got some curves, I've got a bubble butt, but I don't mind, because it's what powers me forward when I run." — Elisabeth Hasselebeck. [Page Six]
• "Unfortunately for certain media outlets, you will never be able 2 'Michael Jackson' me. That means 2 make it seem like everything I do is so weird or out of place... they always try 2 make it seem like everything is about my ego! That joke is getting old. At a certain point you have 2 respect that I'm one of the last artist that still cares about the fans having the best time of there lives!" —Kanye West. [Perez Hilton]
• Iron Man made $100 million? This country confuses me. [E!]

• Uh-oh... Tracie Rice, the woman who was in the car Lindsay Lohan chased at high speed right before her DUI arrest last July, claims she has spent upwards of $3,500 on therapy since the incident (and lost her job). Guess who she wants to pay for the shrink? Papers have been filed! [TMZ]
  
• Lindsay is also being sued by the busboy who was injured when her car smashed into his vehicle in 2005. Raymundo Ortega is also naming The Ivy restaurant in his suit; he claims the hotspot supplied LL with booze before the accident. Linz had better quit shopping and start working. [TMZ]
  
• The cancellation of the Golden Globes means no movie studio parties, no magazine parties, no hotel room reservations, no limos, etc. The Los Angeles economy will reportedly take a $100 million hit. [Page Six]
  
• The LAPD issued a restraining order to Britney Spears last Thursday night during her custody standoff. The emergency protective order is enforced for five business days and dictates that the person it's placed on stays 100 feet from the other person or face arrest. Sick of this story yet? [People]

• Rapper Eminem was rushed to the hospital over the holidays for pneumonia and a heart condition. Sources say his weight has "ballooned" to 212 lbs. Thick Shady? [TMZ]
• Preggo teen Jamie Lynn Spears: Loves the soundtrack to Juno. No, really. [Page Six]
• Zoey 101, Jamie Lynn's Nickelodeon show, is experiencing its highest ratings ever. Nothing says "hot teen entertainment" like a knocked-up star. [E!]
• And hey, Jamie Lynn is attending parenting classes with her mom, so that could be good. [MSNBC]
• Dita Von Teese is suing an L.A.-based dominatrix who allegedly stole the proceeds to a film Ms. Von Teese made in 2001. Not sure how you get a dominatrix to back down... maybe Dita needs a "safe word"? [Page Six]
• Blind-esque item! "Which former presidential daughter is on the 'Anna Wintour facial refreshment plan'? Before she went on a book tour last year, she paid a visit to her dermatologist to get Botox, restalyne and collagen injections so she could face the public looking like her old self." [Page Six]
• Will Smith: Loving Scientology! He gave the crew of a film gifts when the movie wrapped: cards good for a personality test at any local Scientology center. Which, incidentally, you can get free. From the Church of Scientology. [Gatecrasher]
• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie: Getting drinks even after the bar was closed at the Critics Choice Awards. Sucks not to be them. [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which distinctively named member of a chart-topping pop group swings both ways? He surprised his male talent escort at a recent Hollywood red-carpet event with an invitation back to his hotel room." [Gatecrasher]
• "I'm not going to tell her to go to rehab. She's not an idiot, she knows what her problem is." — Kelly Osbourne on Amy Winehouse. [Mirror]
• Right before the new season of American Idol begins: Paula Abdul had a "nervous breakdown that lasted 10 minutes" at the Continental Airlines terminal at LAX, says a source. "One minute she was hyperventilating and on the verge of passing out; the nest she was yelling into her cell phone in this deep, rage-filled Poltergeist voice." [MSNBC]
• An anchor on the Golf Channel (?) said that other golfers should "lynch Tiger Woods in a back alley." Absolutely unconscionable. [Perez Hilton]
• Sopranos star James Gandolfini has asked his girlfriend, former model Deborah Lin, to marry him. She said yes. [Perez Hilton]
• Jennifer Lopez says there was "massive pressure" from her family to get knocked up. "When Marc and I first got married, my mother rang me every day asking if there was any news," she spills. "I come from a Latino family where it's all about children." Surely her mother will be doubly psyched when J. Lo gives birth to twins? [People]
• A carbon footprint organization has rated green rock bands and Pete Doherty is greener than Sting. And not green as in he smokes green. [Mirror]
• Jude Law's ex-wife Sadie Frost, 42, has been shagging men in their 20s. "It's not a conscious thing but dating a younger man seems to work," she says. "They're not so intimidated by the fact that I've got a family." (Sadie's got four kids!) [Daily Express]
• Amy Winehouse's husband Blake Fielder-Civil is "falling apart" in prison. He's had to receive medical attention for self-inflicted injuries; he's been slashing his arms and breaking down in tears. [TransWorldNews]
• Jessica Alba on teen heartthrob Zac Efron: "He looks like a child with a lot of makeup. I was like, My God, you're just a little kid." [News.com.au]
• Fergie is a sex freak. Yeah, didn't need to know, but there it is. [The Sun]

• American Idol finalist and sex-tape star Jessica Sierra, whom you may have last seen smoking naked in a bathtub, is pregnant. The father is a "rapper." Sierra remains in a Florida jail, though she is now in the infirmary on a "pregnancy diet." [TMZ]
  
• Hey, have you heard the rumor that the father of Jamie Lynn's baby is rapper and fellow Nickelodeon star Lil' Romeo? Yeah, we hadn't either, until now. But here it is! So... yeah. [The.Life Files]
  
• Meanwhile Casey Aldridge, the reported babydaddy, has been avoiding the spotlight and gone into hiding. "He doesn't want to say the wrong thing to the media," a pastor in his hometown said. "At the right time he will speak." Casey was class president and campus favorite at his high school and the principle says "He was just a super dude." Well okay then. [USA Today]
  
• Also, Casey is 18, not 19, so no statutory rape. Apparently. [CelebTV.com]

• And Casey wants to marry JLS, says the same pastor. (Though in OK! mag, JLS said she had no plans to get married.) [NY Post]
• Nickelodeon, the network on which JLS is a star, is considering airing a special about sex and love. Uh, how about condoms? [CNN]
• And, not that anyone asked, but Facts Of Life star Lisa Welchel has applauded JLS for keeping the baby. "I'm so proud of her for stepping up and being courageous and taking responsibility for her choices," she says. [ABC News]
• Britney Spears bought her sister a tank top bedazzled with the phrase "Hot Mama 2 B." Sigh. [MSNBC]
• Heather Mills' lawyers may sue her for £2 million in unpaid fees, ugh. [Telegraph]
• Sting and wife Trudie Styler have pictures of half-nekked ladies in their bedroom! Oh, they're Helmut Newton prints. Classy! [Daily Mail]
• Is there trouble in paradise for Kelly Ripa and hubby Mark Consuelos? Sources say she's pissed that he had "goo goo eyes" for co-star Nadine Velazquez on the set of his cable movie Husband For Hire. [MSNBC]
• Pam Anderson and Rick Salomon may have fought because she was a "cozying up" to illusionist Criss Angel while Rick was at a poker tournament. A friend says, "Their relationship is so volatile [that] I'm sure this won't be the last time she files [for divorce] but nothing happened with her and Criss; they were just hanging out." [Page Six]
• Gwyneth Paltrow's 3-year-old daughter Apple Martin walked into a store in the West Village and started "speaking a mile a minute and telling the clerk that her dad was taking her to see the new Alvin And The Chipmunks," says a source. Dad Chris Martin was a few seconds behind her and ushered her out. [Page Six]
• Once, Moby was in Kiev and it was so hot that he called the front desk and asked for a fan; the concierge replied that he was sorry but there were no women in the lobby. Badumbum. [Page Six]
• The Spice Girls' Sunday show was less than full and some ticket agencies were selling seats at slashed prices. Is the girl powah gone? [Page Six]
• Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart are heading back to work: Their shows will both resume production January 7, without the writing staffs. Should be interesting! [E!]
• The L.A. County Sheriff's department has investigated whether Mel Gibson and Paris Hilton received preferential treatment after their arrests. The verdict? Yes. Obvs. [ET]
• Leonardo DiCaprio says he got beat up by drug dealers when he was growing up. Yikes. [Mirror]
• Eva Mendes on learning that Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant: "It's an epidemic, I hope I don't catch it!" [The Sun]
• Vanessa Redgrave is helping two suspected Al -Qaida operatives: She paid half of their bail and says, "Guantanamo Bay is a concentration camp. It is a disgrace that these men have been kept there all these years." Their lawyers argue that there is "not a shred of evidence" against them. [Telegraph]
• Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall, wanted to boycott the Royal Family's Christmas celebrations because she is not being shown enough respect. She believes junior royals and members of the Queen's household look down on her. Eh, they probably do. [Daily Express]
• A toy and flower shop owner prayed for a miracle to save his struggling business and poof! Brad and Angelina showed up. Christmas miracle! [TMZ]

• Oprah's not a hairdresser, but she did chop about nine inches off of Hilary Swank's mane — which was then donated to Pantene Beautiful Lengths. The segment will air on Oprah's show Friday. Wonder if either of them read about how sometimes writing a check is better? [People]
  
• Lance Armstrong and Ashley Olsen: Still at it. The couple had dinner at New York's Waverly Inn, owned by Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter. [Page Six]
  
• Was Gisele Bundchen a witch for Halloween? She cut the line at a haunted house in New York. [Page Six]
  
• Paul McCartney's soon-to-be-ex-wife, Heather Mills, is so upset about being branded a "whore and a gold digger" that she has thoughts of suicide. "I considered killing myself because I thought, if I am dead, [Beatrice] can be safe with her father," she says. [Page Six]

• Dog The Bounty Hunter star Duane "Dog" Chapman has apologized for making racist slurs. Dog was recorded while on a phone call with his son — dropping the N word several times in a rant about his son's girlfriend, who is black. [People]
• Owen Wilson pees with the stall door open. [Page Six]
• Sting was seen in the Champagne Lounge of a strip club, probably not singing "Don't stand so close to me." [Page Six]
• Kelly Klein is a mom! Lukas Alexander Rector was born to a surrogate in California on Oct. 25. He'll be raised in New York, and though he has his mother's maiden name, Kelly's ex, designer Calvin Klein, will be involved in his life. Ah, the modern family! [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which designer who's gone 'round and 'round the revolving rehab door gets his fix from a model - who's been in rehab herself, though for a different problem?" [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which famously un-single hip-hop powerhouse recently had a booty call with three women in a private third-floor room of that very trendy restaurant on Greenwich St.?" [Gatecrasher, last item]
• Rocker Joel Madden says of his situation with pregnant girlfriend Nicole Richie: "Having a baby is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me, and to us." [People]
• It's a little late, but if you wanted to be Posh Spice for Halloween, the key is: "Don't smile at all. You have to look really miserable. Like really miserable. Annoyed," says Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham. [People]
• Speaking of Posh, she's back to dark hair, you know. [The Sun]
• And Posh's hubby? David Beckham? His new best friend is Snoop Dogg. Their kids play soccer together and Snoop says, "I love soccer just as he loves hip hop." [Mirror]
• An Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty duet??? Please please please let this come true. [The Sun]

• OMG. This is amazing. Sex-tape star Kim Kardashian was seen "making out" with Terrence Howard! And he was seen "rubbing her butt"! Does she know about the baby wipes??? [Page Six]
  
• Jennifer Lopez's mom told a Daily News reporter she didn't hear about Jennifer being pregnant. "You know more than I do. I don't talk to her very often." Ouch! We're totally calling our mom later. [Rush & Molloy]
  
• Lindsay Lohan's rep says the rumor about LL shagging married dude Tony Allen in rehab is "mean" and "untrue." Because that's her job. [Rush & Molloy]
  
• Have you seen Beyoncé's new dark hair? [StereoHyped]
  
• Mary-Louise Parker's adoption of an African girl is "a great idea" says Angelina Jolie. Inside she was thinking, "Copycat!" [Page Six]

• Whoopi Goldberg seen giving Sherri Shepherd fashion advice? How very troubling. [Page Six]
• Today in the Charlie Sheen custody drama: Denise Richards claims Charlie got engaged to fiancée Brooke Mueller to get on the cover of People. [People]
• Eddie Murphy and Tracey Edmonds want a "fun and casual" wedding. You know what would be fun? If Scary Spice showed up! [People]
• Brad Pitt: where he's from in the Midwest there's a "congenital sadness" but he's happy to have kids and their mother is "amazing." Same old same old. [People]
• Brad's next project? Playing a disgraced boxer in a flick based on a true story. We like that the documentary about the fighter was called High On Crack Street. Kind of says it all. [E!]
• For last year's transgression — trying to enter an airport with a collapsible baton in his luggage — Snoop Dogg was sentenced to community service in a location that does not involve children, games or football. Boo! [TMZ]
• Sharon Osbourne says Ozzy is always up for sex. "He's like a rabbit. Every song gets him in the mood." Ugh, too early for this! [The Sun]
• Amy Winehouse and hubby Blake Fielder-Civil had a spat before her MOBO performance, which might have been why it was kind of a mess. A source claims Blake told her he was going to slit his wrists, and that Amy's toilet was covered in vomit. Sigh. [The Sun]
• Did you hear about Sting visiting a brothel in Germany? Apparently his wife doesn't give a damn. They were nuzzling in public last night. [Daily Mail]

• The Eva Longoria nupti-news continues: Ryan Seacrest wept and everyone got huffy (heh) when Teri Hatcher showed up mugging for cameras in a dress tailored to look exactly like the bridesmaid dress. Um, if succeeding at undermining someone requires wearing a bridesmaid dress when you don't have to we would normally call it a Pyrric Victory but it was Eva Longoria, so, go Teri! [Gatecrasher]
  
• Madonna demands eye contact during interviews. We can't wait to see the contract her lawyers drew up for sex! [Huffington Post]
  
• Aw. Sean Preston is only three years old and already he is carrying mommy's cigarettes like a good boy. Baby knows it's hard to fit everything in mommy's bikini bottoms! [The Sun]
  
• New word we just made up: Fauxbriety. It's what guylined Ashlee Simpson boychick Pete Wentz is into when he's not practicing sobriety. [Rush & Molloy]
  
• Brandon Davis should maybe look into it! [Page Six]

• Live Earth-athon: The Police kiss Al Gore's ass, Kanye kisses Sting's ass, Alicia Keys kisses Keith Richards' ass, everyone gets along! [Rush & Molloy]
• A Senator showed up on the DC Madam's list but he's from Louisiana so it doesn't actually count. [Washington Post]
• Jamie Lee Curtis: I have a terrorist's mind. [Huffington Post]
• Memo to Jamie Lee: Then please do something about this. [TMZ]