Benedict Cumberbatch Kills Your Dreams, Will Marry Fiancée Today 

Gangly ginger and unlikely heartthrob Benedict Cumberbatch, will marry pregnant fiancee Sophie Hunter today. According to various sources, Cumberbatch has been scheming this vile plan to stomp all over your heart for some time. Sources also confirm that the couple will marry on the Isle of Wight, the windiest place in… » 2/14/15 10:35am 2/14/15 10:35am

Here's Drunk-Ass Justin Bieber Pissing in a Restaurant Mop Bucket

A little dingleberry hanging from the butt of humanity named Justin Bieber peed in a restaurant mop bucket in New York earlier this year because he is an ingrate, and there's a video. As previously evidenced by shenanigans at that Vegas indoor skydiving place, El Beebo and his posse continuously target the employees » 7/10/13 9:00am 7/10/13 9:00am

M.I.A. Loses Her Shit on Twitter Over Son's Custody Battle

Queen of Controversy M.I.A. is currently embroiled in a vicious custody battle over her 4-year-old son, Ikhyd Edgar Arular Bronfman, with her estranged ex-fiancé Benjamin Bronfman, the environmentalist son of Seagram heir Edgar Bronfman Jr. (and part of the younger generation of almost-too-cool dilettante-ish… » 3/14/13 9:00am 3/14/13 9:00am

Jennifer Aniston and Her Huge, Huge Engagement Ring Are Planning Their…

The noted tabloid duality of Jennifer Aniston—beautiful, charismatic millionaire actress or SAD CRONE FISHWIFE FROM THE LAND OF THE UNLOVED WOMEN?!!!—finally comes to an end soon because she's planning her wedding to Justin Theroux. Yes, folks, the dude who was on one episode of Sex and The City as a premature… » 2/27/13 9:00am 2/27/13 9:00am

It's Thursday So Lindsay Lohan Got Arrested Again

Last night Lindsay Lohan went to a Justin Bieber concert. A few hours later, at around 4 AM, she was arrested for punching a woman in the face in a New York club following brief verbal altercation (LiLo said something to the effect of "Give me my space" before clocking the girl). She and friends attempted to flee the… » 11/29/12 9:00am 11/29/12 9:00am

Kim Kardashian Will Bring Peace Milkshakes to Middle East

After being roundly chastised for having—I mean, I guess, kind of—an opinion of sorts on the Israel-Palestine conflict and Tweeting about it, Kim Kardashian is going to make it up to the people of the Middle East by visiting Kuwait and Bahrain, and she's "determined" to learn about the conflict. She is also planning… » 11/20/12 9:00am 11/20/12 9:00am

Steven Tyler Thinks His American Idol Stint Was Just M’Okay

Professional singer, judger of singers, author, and rumored (my rumor) amateur street musician Steven Tyler recently told Rolling Stone that his time on American Idol was just medium good, because, even though he made a whole pile of money from the TV gig, he hated having to shit all over contestants' dreams. » 7/31/12 8:00pm 7/31/12 8:00pm

Mariah Carey Wins American Idol Diva Musical Chairs

You have doubtlessly shed a bitter tear over professional fishmouth Steven Tyler's departure from his post as an American Idol judge. Said Tyler in what could loosely be called a statement: "After some long…hard…thoughts…I've decided it's time for me to let go of my mistress 'American Idol' before she boils my… » 7/13/12 9:00am 7/13/12 9:00am

And the Baby Inside of Snooki Shall Hereby Be Known As...

Lorenzo! Well. That was anticlimactic, wasn't it? I mean, Lorenzo is pretty good. I would have laughed harder if it was, like, "Gabagool" or "Abbondanza," or "Luigi Mario" or "Bowser," but Lorenzo is actually pretty cute for a little baybay. The name beat out Snooki's second choice, Jionni Jr. and was apparently… » 7/12/12 8:30pm 7/12/12 8:30pm

Watch Steven Tyler Destroy the National Anthem


Depending on how much you like your singers to sound like dying animals, Steven Tyler either destroyed "The Star-Spangled Banner" before today's AFC Championship game, as in knocked it out of the park, or destroyed it as in you cringe so hard that your face breaks. Either way, you have to give Tyler major props for… » 1/22/12 8:00pm 1/22/12 8:00pm

Steven Tyler Oozes Dirty-Old-Man Slime All Over Female American Idol

On the premiere of last night's American Idol, scat-happy judge Steven Tyler licked every single female aspirant with his eyeballs, no matter their age. You'll notice in the clip above that you can actually see him, at times, speaking to women's legs. The most awkward though, was when he leered at one 15-year-old… » 1/19/12 4:15pm 1/19/12 4:15pm