EMPTY WOMB ALERT!!! Responding to aggressive tabloid rumors that Bey-Bey was sporting a brand new bay-bay bump, Jay-Z released a definitive statement. Because it is totally definitely obviously 900% our business what's going on inside a complete stranger's uterus!

After being rushed to the hospital Tuesday, and then again last night, über-enceinte Reese Witherspoon is still pregnant, but totally fine. However, Tuesday's visit involved "complications" with the pregnancy, according to the source, making Witherspoon and husband Jim Toth very nervous. The baby is due in September, and …

Kim Klardashiurn is honored to be boyfriend Kanye West's "perfect bitch," which is the title of a new song he wrote about her, Tweeted about having written about her, and promptly deleted.

PARIS, FRANCE - OCTOBER 22: Kathleen Kennedy (L) and Steven Spielberg (R) attend 'TINTIN: The Secret Of The Unicorn' World Premiere at Le Grand Rex on October 22, 2011 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images)

Nicki Minaj and her entourage were kicked out of a five-star hotel for causing a ruckus. What did they expect? Everybody knows she's a motherfucking monster.

• The Dancing With the Stars production office intercepted a "threatening letter containing white powder" (it was talcum) that forced a building evacuation. The FBI is investigating! Could the perps be those "haters" who Bristol Palin's been talking about lately?

Says the Daily Beast, "would-be stalkers are often particularly transfixed by women who appear regularly on TV, playing emotionally vulnerable working women, not in stable relationships-characters with 'strength but also an affectional hunger.'" In other words, rom-com heroines?

• Lindsay Lohan has hired famed attorney Robert Shapiro to represent her, but it doesn't look like Shapiro is interested in getting Lohan out of her jail time:

• Ellen DeGeneres is starting her own record label!

• Does Beyoncé really have a tattoo on her hand which reads "Brooklyn"?