Republicans Should Probably Be More Scared Of John McCain Than Barack…

With the election only 3 weeks away, Obama isn't just winning, he's whupping McCain's saggy, white ass from sea to shining sea. And while McCain and his buttboy Steve Schmidt thought it would be a good idea to go ugly — since an ugly win is still a win — voters apparently feel otherwise. Between race-baiting,… » 10/13/08 10:00am 10/13/08 10:00am

McCain Campaign, CBS Journalists Are Unashamed Of Their Own…

When the chips are down and all the prayers to God to win the election and protect you from witchcraft haven't worked, everyone knows it's time to call in the big guns: the forces of evil. And, if they're too busy helping the Axis of Evil get nukes and shit, well, then you can always call in the forces of pettiness… » 10/09/08 10:00am 10/09/08 10:00am

If Sarah Palin Hates Smart People, What Does That Say About Her…

Sarah Palin's only been doing this Vice Presidential thingie for, like, 5 weeks or so, which means it's about time for the inevitable Who She Is And How She Got Here stories to hit the magazines. See, John McCain, this is why people generally: a) actually vet their VP picks and b) announce them sooner. Then, the kind… » 10/06/08 4:20pm 10/06/08 4:20pm

John McCain Walks Away From Debates, His Pride, And America Itself

Yesterday, John McCain announced a temporary end to partisan politicking and asked Barack Obama to join him in holding hands, singing "Kumbaya" and postponing the Presidential debates until Congressional intervention ends the financial crisis, which most economists agree will be some time next year at the earliest.… » 9/25/08 10:00am 9/25/08 10:00am

McCain's Campaign Adviser Declares War On Media, New York Times

John McCain's senior campaign adviser, Steve Schmidt (seen here with the cardboard cutout the GOP plans to use to fill McCain's position after his death or descent into full dementia) has decided that it's not enough to campaign against Barack Obama, he's got to campaign against The Media to win the election. Luckily … » 9/23/08 10:00am 9/23/08 10:00am