• Ian Halperin, who is pushing his book, Brangelina : The Untold Story, claims that Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston had a "heated confrontation" at a deserted Hollywood restaurant after Brad and Jen's 2006 divorce. Halperin says:

"Jen was upset and shouted at Angelina . . . There was an altercation, it got pretty heated . . . It reduced Jen to tears." Um, he also claims that before meeting Brad, Angelina was "interested" in other married men: "She said she wanted to go after either Bill Clinton or Johnny Depp." But for business reasons, no? Anyway: Grain of salt. [Page Six]

• Dumb/untrue headline of the day: "Only Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Would Take An Eight-Year-Old To See A Film About Nelson Mandela." [Daily Mail]
• Roman Polanski began his house arrest in an Alpine chalet in the luxury resort of Gstaad today. [AP]
• Miley Cyrus's tattoo allegedly says "Just Breathe," but the rumor that she got her boyfriend's name inked probably started since she dated a dude named Justin. Just, Justin. Just saying. [Daily Mail]
• Jude Law and Sienna Miller: So back on? Or just friends? [Page Six]
• "Sources" say that the reason Rachel Uchitel canceled her press conference about Tiger Woods is because Tiger gave her $1 million. [MSNBC]
• TMZ says Tiger didn't pay Rachel, but that she canceled her press conference because she was "scared for her safety" and fears"all the other people caught in what is becoming a very large net." What the hell does that mean? [TMZ]
• According to a report, Tiger Woods' mom and mother-in-law were at his house the night of the incident and came outside after the cops showed up, with Tiger's mom asking, "What happened?" [USA Today}
• "Sources say Bryon Bell, a childhood friend and President of Tiger Woods Design, bought a plane ticket for Rachel Uchitel to go to Australia in mid-November to secretly spend time with Tiger. The ticket was purchased by Bell using a credit card. He also booked a room for Uchitel at the Crown Towers Hotel in Melbourne." The trip, of course, was booked to coincide with the Australian Masters, which Tiger won. [TMZ]
• TMZ has emails between Byron Bell and Rachel Uchitel. [TMZ]
• Tiger Woods is allegedly offering his wife Elin $80 million to stay for seven years in a revised prenup. Worth it? [NY Daily News]
• Destiny's Child is reuniting — in court for a lawsuit over the song "Cater 2 U." A source says: "Matthew [Knowles] has a long history of trying to get songwriters to add Beyoncé's name to songs she didn't compose, just so she gets publishing royalties." Kelly Rowland is pissed, apparently, that she is even involved. [Gatecrasher]
• The usually conservatively dressed Taylor Swift wears a bikini in a new video clip. [NY Daily News]
• WTF headline of the day: "Kim Kardashian: I'm Back to My Ninth-Grade Weight." Next goal: 3rd grade! Then sexy as a fetus! [E!]
• This picture of some of the kids from Glee about to sing in Bryant Park = awesome. [Gatecrasher]
• Hollywood kids in love! Patrick Schwarzenegger is seeing Tallulah Willis. [Page Six]
• Naomi Campbell went to Art Basel in Miami and a source says: "She was pretty rude, didn't bid on anything, and spent the whole time clinging to her boyfriend. Who shows up to a charity event with a bodyguard?" Is she obligated to bid on anything? What if the bodyguard was for her wealthy Russian beau? This story reeks of sour grapes. [Page Six]
• Rihanna told some radio station DJs that she likes a tall guy with a big dick. Audio at the link. [TMZ]
• In an unrelated incident, Rihanna was the subject of a random search at LAX. [NY Post]
• The other Real Housewives of NYC don't like new housewife Sonja Morgan. "I had never watched the show before I joined, " she says. "If I had, I probably wouldn't be on it." [Gatecrasher]
• It's Britney's birthday! Celebrate with this "28 Years In 28 Pictures" column. [Pop Wrap]
• Busta Rhymes was fined $75,000 because a man claims he was assaulted by the rapper at a concert. [NY Post]
• Steve-O has been clean and sober and criminal violation-free for 18 months, earning him dismissal of a cocaine-possession charge. [E!]
• "There's 16 different licenses that I do; I do acting, music and TV. It's a lot of fun, so right now we're creating some different TV shows which I'm going to star in as well as produce and I'm just finishing up my new album." — Paris Hilton has a new perfume and a bunch of other projects and she is not going away. [Mirror]
• "It's hard for me. My wife passed away seven months ago and I don't want to think about the afterlife. I don't believe in that sort of thing. It'd be nice, if it were there. Woody Allen has that great quote where he says he doesn't believe in an afterlife, although he's bringing a change of underwear. That's how I feel." — Stanley Tucci, who plays a pedophile in The Lovely Bones, which deals with life after death, in a way. He shot Julie & Julia afterward, and says: "That film was the antidote to this one, and was exactly what I needed to do. I stayed at home, worked with Meryl, laughed a ton and made martinis every night. We're like two children together and laugh all the time, which is why we get along so well." [WSJ]
• "Of course, we feel like for us to put out an album titled Greatest Hits would maybe insinuate that we've got nothing left. I look at it as the end of Chapter 1—the first 15 years. I never thought we would last more than two albums. It wasn't meant to be a band. I would've called it something else if it were meant to be a band. Something other than Foo Fighters, I swear." — More great quotes from Dave Grohl at the link. [Time]
• "I'm getting my child a mortgage. She split time between New York and L.A. growing up, but she's a New Yorker. It's a house in the West Village, which is all she wants in life." — Courtney Love is giving Frances Bean property for Christmas. [Style.com]
• "There were a ton of paparazzi in the café with their huge cameras and laptops. I was like, 'Peter, oh my god, they are so into us. They're swarming us. We are so important.' It turns out Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise were living on that street. It was the winter, so the photographers would go into the café to download their pictures."— earlier this year, Maggie Gyllenhaal thought she and Peter Sarsgaard were the toast of New York. [E!]
• "I feel the consequences of that every day. I was going to put the hose in the most noxious of the cars I own, a Jeep, take some sleeping pills and take a nice nap in the front seat of my car in the garage." — Alec Baldwin, on calling his daughter a "rude, thoughtless little pig" in a voicemail. [Daily Express via Men's Journal]
• "It's been amazing [to have twin daughters] but complicated because of my current work schedule, which I have enormous regrets about… One would prefer to be held 24 hours a day, and the other is already suffering from type A issues. It is the eternal conflict of every working woman. I've done this to myself. And I have a wonderful, wonderful nanny who allows me to be a working person. The great challenge for me is to be all things to all people; I want to be a great mother, and I want to feel good when I'm at work. But it is hard." — Sarah Jessica Parker regrets filming Sex And The City Part Deux. [NY Daily News via Glamour]

• Mel Gibson "completely lost it" this weekend, according to a fellow churchgoer, who said he stood up in front of the congregation and "paced back and forth, furiously telling the congregation that he would not stand by and be judged and scrutinized."

• The source added, "Mel got up on his stage — the altar — and went off. He tried to intimidate the parishioners by staring at everyone with his angry eyes. Mel even threatened to shut down the church if people kept gossiping about him. The bottom line is that if Mel hadn't cheated on his wife and gotten his Russian girlfriend pregnant, there wouldn't be much to gossip about – he created this mess, and now he's trying to control it." [Radar Online]
• Nicole Kidman is denying rumors that she and Keith Urban are adopting a baby from Vietnam. Dang Minh Dao, deputy of the Department of International Adoption at the Ministry of Justice in Hanoi, told Australia's New Idea magazine, "Yes, Nicole Kidman wants a baby from Vietnam. We've been approached by the American Embassy." However her spokeswoman says: "I am aware of this rumour out of Australia's New Idea tabloid. It is a complete fabrication, there is no truth to it whatsoever." [The Daily Mail]
• Susan Boyle's brother Gerry said even though she's being treated for exhaustion after coming in second on Britain's Got Talent he knows she'll be OK. "She is feeling a bit exhausted. She is a bit tired and maybe even a wee bit homesick," he said. "First and foremost we have to make sure she is happy, and she is - she wouldn't change all this for the world. It would be nice to get her back home for a couple of days. But she will bounce back - we know our Susan." [The Sun]
• We know TMZ is expanding to cover political figures, but this clip of Dick Cheney is still disturbing. A reporter questions him like a Hills star stumbling out of a nightclub, asking if Cheney thinks the Obamas should have gone to see a Broadway show ("I don't know why not"), and if he's a Susan Boyle fan ("Sure, she's good"). [TMZ]
• We've lost count of how many times we've heard this: Britney Spears may be dating her agent Jason Trawick, because there's no other explanation for Brit going to Starbucks with a business associate. "In my eyes, Britney and Jason are definitely together," says one of the paparazzi stalking Brit. "I've never seen any other celebrity spend as much time with their agent as Brit does - vacation in Costa Rica, dinner, the Bahamas, running out to get Starbucks on a Saturday afternoon - I mean, it's not just business as usual." [Fox News]
• In honor of what would have been Marilyn Monroe's 83rd birthday, LIFE.com has released a series of never-before-seen photos of Monroe taken in 1950 by photographer Ed Clark. [People]
• Perez Hilton claimed last week that he never hired ghostwriters, so Guanabee hired a handwriting expert to study his infamous doodles and somehow she determined that he's totally lying. [Guanabee]
• Nadya Suleman's mother lost her house this morning to auction. Rather than helping her mom save her childhood home, Nadya recently bought a new home for almost the same amount of money that here mother owed. [Perez Hilton]
• Since EMI was taken over by Terra Firma in 2007, Joss Stone has become desperate to leave the label and is willing to give back £1.2million of her £7.5million advance to get out of her contract. "Joss has completely lost faith in EMI. It's all pie charts and products and there's no creativity. She has no working relationship with them and no confidence they will support her or market her album properly," says an insider. EMI won't let her go and is taking legal action to sue her because she won't turn over the master tapes for her new album Color Me Free. [The Daily Mail]
• Lily Allen is one of the celebrities featured in a new ad campaign to promote Britain's National Portrait Gallery. Her photo will be featured in an ad along with the caption "vocalist, lyricist, florist." Before her music career took off, Allen was training to be a florist. [Mirror]
• Pink's 14-week Australian tour is helping her rekindle her marriage to Carey Hart. Though scheduling conflicts caused them to break up, they've coordinated their tours so they're spending most of their time in the same cities. "It's the most time we've ever been able to spend together," said Pink. [News.com.au]
• Gordon Ramsay had to sell his Ferrari to keep his restaurant empire in business. He said his company expanded too quickly. "Tenacity and ambition overtook me. We thought we could do anything, that we could not fail. We flew too high, too fast," he said, adding, "God, I loved that Ferrari." [The Mirror]
• Looks like Ryan Cabrera's career isn't going too well. For just $24,500 you can purchase a one hour private performance by Cabrera through Sam's Club's online store. [Perez Hilton]
• Steve-O was ordered by a judge to enter rehab in 2008 and now he's marking each step of his recovery with a new tattoo. He has been clean for over a year and got another tattoo this weekend. "He was talking a lot about sobriety and passing another landmark," says a source. "He seemed like he was getting the tattoo on the back of his shoulder to mark a new sober period. He was in really good spirits." [The Daily Express]
• Zac Efron really wants to be in Vanessa Hudgens' new movie Sucker Punch because he wants to work with Sach Snyder. "I think it's an all-girl movie," said Efron. "But if there's any way to be in that film, I'd do it. I'd play a girl if I had to." [E!]
• Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart had dinner together after hte MTV Movie Awards. The surest sign that they're secretly dating is them having dinner in public surrounded by paparazzi. [Radar Online]
• Pearl Jam is recording a new ad for Target, and the company may be one of a group of partners financing their next album. [Billboard]
• Kimora Lee Simmons wrote an editorial for the Huffington Post about 14-year-old Trevor Casey, who was beaten by police. She writes: "As a mother of two beautiful daughters and one son, I am horrified at the way that our young black males are stereotyped: as negligible and disposable and destined for trouble." [The Huffington Post]
• Morgan Freeman says of playing Nelson Mandela in a new movie directed by Clint Eastwood, "If you are playing a living figure who's revered by the world, you've got yourself a major, major undertaking. You've got to do this without embarrassing yourself, your audience, and especially Madiba [Mandela's nickname]. Knowing that, you can be entirely too self-conscious. There are pitfalls, but I am going to be working with Clint." [Style.com]
• Natasha Henstridge says she's damaged her body in her pursuit to be thin, including taking pills and over the counter supplements. "I've done some things that probably weren't the smartest things in the world," says Henstridge. "All of a sudden when you decide to go clean, things are changing in your body because you done a bit of damage," [People]
• Pete Wentz's New York City bar Angels & Kings has been temporarily shut down for allegedly serving alcohol to minors. "There was an outstanding legal issue which the owners are now working to correct," says a spokesperson. [People]
• Christie Brinkley says: "I would never get married again. With what I know I don't see why anyone would get married." But she adds, "I totally believe in true love. And I think couples should celebrate their love over and over again." She doesn't think people need to formalize it though. "In fact, right at the beginning of a relationship, I would formalize an exit strategy," she says. [Ladies' Home Journal]
• Stephen Colbert says he no longer fears an audience not laughing. "The first director I had at Second City said, 'You have to learn to love the bomb,' and I didn't know what he meant for a very long time," he said. "But there's something nice about getting to the point where you enjoy the feeling that people aren't laughing. Imagine a child drinking beer for the first time and they can't possibly understand why you like it, and you can't possibly explain why it tastes good. But there's a buzz to failing and not dying." [The L.A. Times]

In this clip, Steve-O is shown totally high and hell bent on making a time machine in order to go back and save his mother from the brain aneurysm she suffered in 1998, which led to her death in 2003. In March 2008, he began sending emails to friends and family, threatening suicide, which is when his Jackass compatriots Johnny Knoxville and Jeff Tremaine intervened and had him committed for psychiatric evaluation, and ultimately, rehab.

Steve-O states that he was 12 the first time he vomited from too much alcohol, and that he began doing drugs when he was in high school. (He also began documenting his binges on video around this time, with footage of him drinking and gargling bong water.) He aimed to be a stuntman, and worked as a professional clown, a resume that probably made him the most fitting cast member of Jackass. Ultimately, the nature of his career fed into and was fueled by his addictions, compounding his problems to the point that he was so wasted on nitrous, coke, weed, pills, and alcohol that he began hearing voices in his head, and would hold conversations with them — all on camera.

Steve-O has been sober for over a year now, and seems incredibly serious about his recovery. In the documentary he said, "Drugs and alcohol turned me into an absolute douchebag. A complete monster. And I had cameras rolling just about the whole time, all the way to rock bottom. So here it is: An incredibly difficult process, showing the world how bad my drug and alcohol addiction got."

• Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's former bodyguard Mickey Brett might pen a tell-all or sell a TV show based on his life working for the A-list couple.

The thing is, how juicy can it possibly be? We're not talking Courtney Love-style antics with those two; it's probably like, strollers, diapers, sex, travel, diapers, diapers, sex, movie set, diapers, diapers diapers. (Sex!) [MSNBC]

• Angelina and Brad's "hot shot" attorney, Marty Singer, is calling the bodyguard a "pathological liar." [LA Times]
• As part of the trial, the court has learned that Tyra's stalker slipped into her TV studio asking to see his "very good friend." [NY Daily News]
• Parts of Heidi and Spencer's wedding had to be retaped after a generator went out in the church. Romantic! [Page Six]
• Chris Noth has indeed signed on for Sex And The City 2 Electric Boogaloo or Sex And The City 2 The Streets or whatever but Sarah Jessica Parker says she doesn't know if Carrie and Big will have kids. She also has no "clue" whether Dancing With The Stars phenom Gilles Marini will be in the sequel but my Magic 8 Ball says: Duh. [E!]
• Marc Jacobs is helping Madonna and Jesus Luz stay together! A source spills: "[Marc] wrote a letter of support for Jesus' work permit. Marc campaigned for Jesus, saying he is highly talented and a necessity to the label." Also, this report calls Madge a " well-connected cougar." Let's all get reductive! [MSNBC]
• Sniffle! According to this source, when Jesus Luz walked in a recent fashion show, "None of the other models would talk to Jesus or even look at him. They were gossiping like catty girls about how they couldn't wait for his career to fizzle out." Then they wouldn't let him play any reindeer games. [Gatecrasher]
• Casey Aldridge has been hospitalized since Sunday when he flippped his pickup truck and suffered a head injury; he will be moved from the ICU on Monday. [People]
• Rihanna is in Barbados with a "Chris Brown lookalike," which basically means the guy is black. [Daily Mail]
• "I try to be a friend for Miley," Billy Ray Cyrus says. "I know that's not everyone's parenting style… A friend, partner as an actor, a singer, songwriter and let her be a teenage girl and do her thing." Is that why you guys have matching highlights? [MSNBC]
• Uh, what? Susan Boyle has issued an ultimatum to Simon Cowell: "Let me sing or I'll quit the show." Apparently she is miffed that she has to wait five weeks before her next appearance on Britain's Got Talent. [Daily Express, The Sun]
• There are several horrifying things about this story involving Michael Jackson and his kids shopping at the Ed Hardy store in L.A.: First, the children are wearing school uniforms and feathered masquerade masks; second, MJ is wearing a fedora, headscarf, surgical mask and hideous green blazer; third, Michael Jackson's PANTS are BEYOND FUG. [Daily Mail]
• Robert Pattinson will star in a romantic drama called Remember Me, the story of a young couple whose relationship is complicated by a series of family tragedies. He'll be shooting in New York, so get ready to stalk the sparkly vampire in the gritty city. The leading lady role has not yet been cast: Who do you think it should be? [Mirror]
• In this video, Lost's Evangeline Lily talks about Jack and Sawyer. Uh, Matthew Fox and Josh Holloway. Anyway there's a nanosecond in which Sawyer has his shirt off and he is kissing Kate so click for that. [Breitbart]
• Snoop Dogg was in court yesterday, denying that he hit a dude with a brass-knuckle microphone. The guy in question has testified that he woke up backstage, naked and in a pool of blood; Snoop's position on this is that the man ran up on stage and security intervened, thinking Snoop was being attacked. [AP]
• "Intimate" pictures of Carla Bruni and an ex-lover were stolen during a burglary in Paris and apparently the "thieves appeared to know exactly what they were looking for." [Daily Mail]
• Here's a "cute" story about Justin Timberlake pressuring Jessica Biel to get wasted: "Everyone was doing shots of tequila, but Jess said she didn't want to drink anymore. Justin good-naturedly insisted, so she pulled her hair back and drank up!" [Gatecrasher]
• For $40, superfans can take a Gossip Girl bus tour of New York, and see the locations which serve as the homes and school of the characters. Just remember, only plebes take the bus. [Gothamist]
• Renée Zellweger turned 40 and Dan Abrams, Hugh Grant, Bradley Cooper, Neil Patrick Harris, Madonna, Kelly Ripa and Harry Connick Jr. were among the revelers. [Page Six]
• That dude Marilyn is still telling anyone who will listen that he was in a relationship with Gavin Rossdale in the '80s. [Daily Express]
• Pharrell Williams has been getting laser removal of his tattoos, which looks traumatizing, and now he's wearing a sling he made from a Burberry scarf. Ink removal must be really really really painful. [The Life Files, The Life Files]
• Something something financial crisis something something Aussie bank ANZ something something spent $1 million bringing Paris and Nicky Hilton to Australia for a New Year's Eve party in Sydney. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Shirley Jones, the mom on The Partridge Family, will be topless on an upcoming episode of A&E's The Cleaner. This report snipes, "We hope with her back to the camera." [Page Six]
• Edie Falco says she would gladly do a Sopranos flick: "I don't actually see it happening, but I've been surprised before." [E!]
• The Daily Fail asked Joan Collins how she would makeover Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, and Joan was delighted and thorough: "Camilla should invest in a one-piece bodysuit that hugs her figure and pulls her in at the waist. And shoulder pads are excellent for improving shape. […] A richer, honey-blonde shade, with paler highlights at the front and sides, would bring light to her face. […] Finally, Camilla's mouth is crying out for a strong-coloured lipstick." [Daily Mail]
• Don Johnson will play a "mustachioed porn director" in Born To Be A Star, the porn-themed Adam Sandler comedy. The plot? A small-town nerd learns his quiet and demure parents were famous porn stars in the 70s, and this inspires him to head for Hollywood and fullfill his destiny banging on camera. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Amanda Peet has joined the cast of Gulliver's Travels, which stars Jack Black. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Dynasty star Linda Evans is the winner of the UK's Hell's Kitchen 2009. [Daily Mail]
• A lady is suing Wolfgang Puck due to a terrible incident which occurred in the bathroom of his Beverly Hills restaurant Spago, which I'd prefer not to get into so early in the day. [TMZ]
• Blind item! "Which Oscar winner's girlfriend won't let him get to third base? She's afraid of STDs." [Gatecrasher]
• "They tried to arrest me in Russia, for leather at St. Basil's. But all is calm in the red square, as I leave the east Parisbound." — Lady GaGa. [Perez]
• "I've actually broken up with boyfriends for inspiration. When I hit a period of not being able to write music, I get up and walk away. It's pretty mean but it's true." — Lily Allen. [Daily Express]
• "I've had to end good relationships, and I know how we talked about them, and tried to be nice and everything, but I think ... maybe that bruised a little bit more on the other side than I noticed, or than it did me. Because when you flip it over, I know there were times when I was the dumpee or whatever, and I was like, 'No way am I showing her how much this is hurtin.'" — Matthew McConaughey. [USA Today]
• "Steve-O was scared and nervous, we needed to take him to the mental ward — I instructed the guys that if he doesn't want to go, knock him out, but he went and he's actually doing really good now. He's in so much a better place now and I'm really proud of him." — Johnny Knoxville. [The Star]
• "It's true that I've never had a burning desire to rebel against my parents. But in other respects I think I have rebelled. I mean, I rebelled against my record label when they wanted to shelve me, and I've rebelled against people trying to push me around in the recording studio. To me, that's always been much more exciting than going out and getting drunk. I remember at high school trying to cheer up my girlfriends who were crying in the bathroom after some party when they couldn't remember who they'd made out with the night before. You see, I don't ever want to be that girl in the bathroom crying." — Taylor Swift. [Telegraph]
• "We try to protect ourselves from being fully in love and fully open and fully vulnerable, and really all we're doing is protecting ourselves from love and real love and the opportunity to really learn and grow with another person, so it's actually really detrimental, and you think it's helping." - Pink. [Yahoo News via AP]
• "The Type A thing is a big misunderstanding. It's funny to me that I have been portrayed as a closed-off, uptight person. I'm very open. Type A is my blood type." — Reese Witherspoon. [Elle UK]

• El oh el: It appears none of the celebrity weeklies have bought exclusive rights to pictures of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's wedding this weekend.

A source says they're not worried, because chances are, the pix will end up in all the mags: "They'd rather be on page 50 of Us, People, In Touch or Life & Style than be on the cover of a magazine like OK! that isn't going to sell. They need to make money, and so does the magazine. The formula is changing," spills a source. [MSNBC Scoop]

• In this video of concert footage, Britney's extensions get ripped out of her head and left behind on a couch. [Perez Hilton]
• Kudos to TMZ for the headline, "Britney Weaves It All On Stage." [TMZ]
• Lily Allen celebrated the end of her tour by having a "massive ice cream fight" in her dressing room. But she paid the clean-up bill: "Cost me $2,000. End of tour, time to get mashed." [The Sun]
• In case you forgot that Madonna's boyfriend Jesus Luz has a job, he totally walked the runway in a Jeffrey Fashion Cares fashion show. How do we feel about those white trousers? [WWD]
• Even though Miley Cyrus is with Justin Gaston, is she still hung up on her ex, Nick Jonas? Were they making out recently? Are they MFEO (made for each other)? [Gatecrasher]
• Jay Leno, who hasn't missed work in years, checked himself into a hospital with a "mystery illness." [NY Daily News]
• Paris Hilton's "BFF," Brittany Flickinger, was in a car crash in Hollywood last night; she wasn't wearing a seat belt and slammed her head into the windshield. Luckily, she escaped with only a chipped bone in her leg. [TMZ]
• Behold: Video of Justin Timberlake, in foxy glasses, talking about his mancrush on LeBron James: "He just lights me up!" He also declares Caddy Shack as the best sports movie ever. [Rolling Stone]
• Ashton Kutcher's Twitter can now be considered a place to break new artists; he wrote about an unsigned singer/songwriter named Alex Highton and now the guy's MySpace is blowing up. [Telegraph]
• Guess who stars in one of Kanye West's next videos? Rihanna. Yeezy says, "She's an amazing talent…Collaborating with her is always a pleasure!" [Fashion Week Daily]
• Amy Winehouse's dad flew to St. Lucia yesterday to check on the singer. Will they go horseback riding together? [The Sun]
• Beyoncé wants to do Broadway in a couple of years, when she's settled down and had some rugrats with Jay-Z: "It's my ideal job," she explains. "I'll be able to go to the theater every day and drop my kids off and maybe make some food — maybe I'll know how to cook by then — and then go do what I love and have some normalcy and have a regular schedule." [Reuters]
• Kim Kardashian on Miss California, Carrie Prejean: "I don't agree with her narrow mindedness and neither do a lot of people… Everyone has the right to be happy and be treated equally and I think not allowing gay marriage just kind of puts us back." But KK also says: "Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. She stood up for what she believes in so she should be happy with that backlash." [People]
• Is Pam Anderson down and out? Or is Courtney Love high? Wait. Don't answer that. Courtney says: "Pam Anderson doesn't even have a credit card. And she lives in Paradise Cove — which is in Malibu, but it's a trailer park in Malibu." [Page Six]
• This piece about Russell Crowe begins: "He is a man's man - or, rather, he is the kind of man in whom shabby, ageing, overweight, altogether untidy and unresolved males can see their manly image. In other words, Russell Crowe seems more than happy taking very little care of himself, his appearance or his 'glamour.'" Why don't you tell us how you really feel? [Guardian]
• Jerry Seinfeld's grandparents arrived in this country via Ellis Island, and their story will be in the spotlight on May 19, when the Statue of Liberty-Ellis Island Foundation bestows a "family heritage" award on Seinfeld. [NY Times]
• Parker Posey is no longer dating Keanu Reeves and has moved on to a graphic designer and sculptor named Scott Lenhardt. As seen in this picture, they're super happy and adorbs. [NY Mag]
• Aww, pictures of Slumdog Millionaire stars Dev Patel and Freida Pinto nuzzling up to each other over lunch in Israel — where Pinto is filming — will melt your cold, tiny heart. [Daily Mail]
• This report calls Kate Middleton Prince William's "bride in waiting," and notes that it's been discovered that she's related to Swallows And Amazons creator Arthur Ransome. [Daily Express]
• Blogger Julia Allison lives in the same apartment building as Rosie O'Donnell. Wednesday she posted a Twitter which read: "Holy shit. My neighbor Rosie O'Donnell has been having a knock down drag out screaming match with Kelli for the last hour. Sad. :( " Anywho, JA deleted the post, maybe because it's an invasion of privacy, but it's sorta too late. [Ed note: This will be the only mention of Ms. Allison on this blog for all of 2009.] [Gawker]
• Dane Cook was on Larry King Live, talking about his half-brother and former manager who embezzled millions from him: "It's a terrible betrayal. But hopefully justice will be served and I can move on with my life." [ET]
• Sniffle: Elton John, Paul McCartney and Mick Jagger have lost "huge chunks" of their personal fortunes due to the economic crisis. [Reuters]
• Stephen Dorff has joined the cast of the porn industry comedy Born To Be A Star, which is produced and co-written by Adam Sandler. [Variety]
• Blind item! "Which closeted - and married - actor almost had his cover blown when he hit on a straight man in a sauna? Word is the offended dude is now quite wealthy, thanks to a payoff." [Gatecrasher]
• "Although I'm her friend, [I don't want to defend her to her detractors] because that's their right as well. They feel really strongly about their opinion for pro-gay rights, and that's great." — Miss USA on Miss California. [Gatecrasher]
• "I realized I was spending hours and hours in the middle of the night signing autographs. Unless I had assistants forging letters and signatures I knew I couldn't continue. So I posted a message on the internet saying: 'If I can't do it honestly, I won't do it any more.'" — Viggo Mortensen, on answering fan mail. [Daily Mail]
• "He called me and said, 'You know let's do it right away.' It was really emotional. I think the only way he could have come back was right after because his family was all there to support his boys. Liam is heroic. He came back and finished. I think he's trying to absorb [what's happened] ... He's suddenly a single parent with absolutely no preparation for that. But he is surrounded by people that really love him. There is a lot of support." — Director Atom Egoyan, on Liam Neeson, who returned to the set of the film Chloe days after his wife Natasha Richardson died. [People]
• "We're just extremely careful with our shit. I keep a CD with me, I'm the only one who usually has a CD. Maybe me and Dre… Other than that, nobody has it." — Eminem, on how his new album avoided getting leaked. [Rolling Stone]
• "Watching it was horribly unhealthy for me. You think that would help keep me sober, you know seeing myself as this raving lunatic...It absolutely triggered these crazy urges to get loaded." — Steve-O on watching his upcoming documentary about his addiction and recovery. [E!]
• "For some reason people think like if you tell someone they're too thin that's OK. But if you tell someone they're too heavy that's insulting… It hurts either way. I'm the same weight I was before I was pregnant. I've been pregnant for two years in a row. I'm the same weight I was on 90210. I'm the same weight I was before I met Dean and we got married. It's the same." — Tori Spelling. [AP]
• "If you read some of his early-life autobiography, it's horrible... the amount of mental anguish he has to go through, just to have any kind of even vaguely sexual relationship. It's really depressing what he's going through in his head. Dali had a massive fear of penetration – penetrating someone or being penetrated… [As for the love scenes with a man,] I think girls almost really like watching something like that. From what I've read, people really get excited about that – it sounds really sexy!" — Robert Pattinson on playing Salvador Dali. [Independent]
• "Marijuana has always been that drug that united people. It's always been on the verge of being legal. It's hardly a drug really. When people look at marijuana, they look at it as an enjoyment of connecting." — Redman. [NY Daily News]
• "Most of the time, songs that I write end up being finished in 30 minutes or less. 'Love Story' I wrote on my bedroom floor in about 20 minutes. When I get on a roll with something, it's really hard for me to put it down unfinished. — From "10 Questions For Taylor Swift." [Time]
• "I don't even know what 'tweeting' means ... but it sounds dirty!" — Michelle Trachtenberg. [Gatecrasher]

• Lindsay Lohan has supposedly been spending time with "a different man every night" since breaking up with Sam Ronson:

According to this report, she's been in "constant contact" with 90210 star Kellan Lutz and also been hanging out with a British paparazzo named Chris Jepson. A source says she and Jepson were "inseparable" at a Hollywood house party and spent some time in the bathroom together, blah blah blah. [Page Six]

• Heidi Montag and Miley Cyrus have come out in support of gay marriage (and Perez Hilton) via Twitter. Heidi's says: "God says in the bible that we should love our neighbor and he created us all as equals. I know in my heart that gays and lesbians should have the same government rights that Spencer and I will when we get married. So, yes, this blonde Christian believes in gay marriage." As for Miley, she wrote: "Jesus loves you AND your partner and wants you to know how much he cares! thats like a daddy not loving his lil boy cuz hes gay and that is WRONG and very sad! like i said everyone deserves to be happy." [Perez]
• Jesus may love the gheyz but Catholics hate Ron Howard's Angels & Demons. The Catholic Bishops Conference of India want it banned. [E!, Page Six]
• Lauren Conrad says Spencer Pratt has admitted that he started the sex tape rumor about her. "We actually have it on tape. He takes responsibility and apologizes for it." Oh, and also, the peeps from The Hills may not be as vapid as you think: MTV exec Liz Gateley sez: "These folks do talk about a lot of intelligent things — like global warming — we just don't show that on the show." Yes, shield your audience from the big words! [LA Times]
• Stephanie Pratt on being a Speidi bridesmaid: "I've never been to a wedding before. I know that Holly is in it. I'm hoping that she is Maid of Honor because I will screw everything up. I don't know if you watched any of the Kelly Cutrone scenes, but I'm really not good at following direction." [E!]
• LC says of the wedding: "I think that it was very nice of [Heidi] to invite me but I think that she didn't really expect me to come." [Mirror]
• Audrina is in a PETA ad, dressed as an angel wearing some kind of stripper bikini. She copy reads: "Be an Angel for Animals. ALWAYS ADOPT. NEVER BUY." [Just Jared]
• Was Madonna's fall from a horse as bad as it sounded? She is already back to working out with trainer Tracy Anderson. [The Sun]
• Angelina Jolie might star as Dr. Kay Scarpetta in a film based on the best-selling books by Patricia Cornwell. There are 16 Scarpetta books, so the film could potentially turn into a Bourne-type franchise. And! She's neither a hooker, a victim nor a doormat; she's a medical examiner. [Variety]
• Rihanna may go on tour with Ciara and Keyshia Cole, a source says. "Rihanna wants strong women to join her," the insider spills. "This is a 'women empowerment' type of tour." [E!]
• Will Rihanna and Chris Brown have to confront each other at an ASCAP Awards after-party tonight? [Daily Express]
• Hey, remember Britney's restraining order case? It's still going on: Closing arguments were heard yesterday but no ruling was made on whether to extend the length of time Sam Lutfi needs to stay away from the pop star. [People]
• Leonardo DiCaprio and Oprah Winfrey are the greenest celebrities in the world…according to a poll. Hmm. [Daily Express]
• Hugh Jackman put his hand and foot prints in the cement outside of Grauman's Chinese Theater in Hollywood yesterday. [Reuters]
• Rachel Bilson will be a "fashion editor" at In Style; she'll write a monthly Q&A answering readers' style questions and talking about her favorite trends. [WWD]
• Congrats to Jill Scott and her fiancé; she delivered a boy named Jett Hamilton Roberts on April 20. Scott, who stars in HBO's The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency, found out she was pregnant the day she was supposed to leave for Africa. [People]
• When Steve-O was in the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Clown College, he was a "cocaine-addicted clown" who "two shows on Friday, three shows on Saturday and three shows on Sunday, and typically I would do cocaine through all of it without sleeping." Jackass. [People]
• Lo Bosworth is guest blogging about The Hills over on E! Here's a sample: " Last night's episode was kind of sad, but there were parts that were really funny, too." Scintillating! [E!]
• Jamie Foxx is being sued by a guy who was severely injured by a vodka display and now can't be a brain surgeon. It's wasn't Foxx's display, but he was the host of the party at a Hollywood club. [TMZ]
• Can you picture Jamie Foxx playing Mike Tyson? [Gatecrasher]
• Movie studios are custom-tailoring scripts for Tom Cruise… Will he have a hit? [Variety]
• Check out what Michael Jackson wore on a 95° day in Beverly Hills. [Concrete Loop]
• In a "legal victory" for Sacha Baron Cohen, a judge ruled that a woman was not subject of libel because "it is obvious that the Ali G character is absurd, and all his statements are gibberish and intended as comedy." [NY Times]
• Here is a detailed run-down of the Mel Gibson family: Mel and his wife have an eldest daughter and "six able-bodied boys," the youngest of whom is 10. How will the divorce affect them? [People]
• Blind item! "What music executive ditched his longtime girlfriend by calling the cops and having her physically removed from their apartment?" [Gatecrasher]
• "For me to go, in the dead of winter, and leave the family, when the kids are in school and they can't come with me - it has got to be pretty damn good." — Michelle Pfeiffer on the script for her new flick, Cheri. [Guardian]
• "My manager keeps it in his house. I got too many people coming to my house. I don't want it to walk off. People stealing it and leaving me with an Oscar Mayer (meat product) instead. Like, what's this doing here?" — Jamie Foxx on his Oscar. [Daily Express]
• "We're like the Green Eggs and Ham of breakers-up: in a box. With a fox. On a train. In the rain. Down at Mel's. On our cells. Over a martini. In a Lamborghini… I will always love him. He's a very special person." — Kristin Chenoweth, on her on-again/off-again relationship with Aaron Sorkin, creator of Studio 60 and The West Wing. Full interview with Chenoweth, who has a new book, here. [The Daily Beast]
• "On April 27 I will begin a fast of water only in solidarity with the people of Darfur and as a personal expression of outrage at a world that is somehow able to stand by and watch innocent men, women and children needlessly die of starvation, thirst and disease." — Mia Farrow, announcing her hunger strike. [Yahoo News via Reuters]

• Miley Cyrus might make you want to puke: Hannah Montana Chocolate Granola Bars have been recalled due to suspected salmonella contamination. [Perez]

• Natasha Richardson suffered a serious head injury in a ski accident and has been hospitalized in Montreal. Husband Liam Neeson has rushed to her side. [People]
• Oh, no: Natasha Richardson is in critical condition. As you may know, she is the eldest daughter of Vanessa Redgrave; her sister Joely Richardson is also an actress, best known for Nip/Tuck. Natasha Richardson has been in A Month in the Country, Nell, The Parent Trap and Maid in Manhattan. [Yahoo News via AP]
• DJ AM is seeking $10 million in medical costs, lost earnings and damages, plus $10 million for mental and physical pain after the September plane crash in which he and Travis Barker were the only survivors. [People]
• Psychiatrist Khristine Eroshevich turned herself in to police Monday, facing charges of excessively prescribing drugs to Anna Nicole Smith. she's out on bail. [AP]
• Fox's Roger Friedman on Julia Roberts: "She was rude, downright nasty, and dismissive. She snubbed me in front of other people to make her point… Her behavior was unexpected and chilling." Apparently she knows Friedman as "the man who writes bad things about me." [Fox 411 ]
• Mickey Rourke is in a Russian prison… Doing research for his Iron Man role. [Daily Mail]
• If you didn't get a chance to audition for ANTM because of the stampede in NYC on Saturday, don't fret! Tyra says: "We are doing everything we can to make sure that ALL the girls who weren't seen get an opportunity to audition — we'll update you on our plans very soon." Sorta hoping they call it America's Next Top Model Who Can't Reach The Top Shelf. [US Magazine]
• Amy Winehouse is planning a "heart-to-heart" with estranged husband Blake Fielder-Civil. Her dad says: "I want her to get divorced." Tell us how you really feel! [The Star]
• Amy Winehouse's dad also says: "Amy wants to resolve the situation. She's guilty of loving him, stupid girl." That's her own father, calling her stupid. [The Sun]
• Since Amy Winehouse has visa issues which ban her from coming to the U.S., she is headed back to the Caribbean. She'll headline the 18th Annual St. Lucia Jazz festival in May. The Minister of Tourism is thrilled and says "She's welcome to stay as long as she wants to." [Yahoo News via E!]
• But uh, Amy Winehouse is still facing an assault charge from back in September, so she needs to deal with that first. [Mirror]
• The Daily (Hate) Mail has printed pictures of Jesus Luz's ex-girlfriends and pointed out that they are "younger and prettier" than Madonna. Rude! [Daily Mail]
• By the by, Guy Ritchie had dinner with Elle Macpherson. [Daily Mail]
• Here is a photograph of Prince William helping out in a kitchen at a homeless charity, "following in his mother's footsteps." He looks genuinely happy. [Daily Mail]
• Clive Owen was asked who would win in a battle of wits: Himself or Julia Roberts? "She would, because she's very smart," he said. She agreed: "I would. It's just me," Julia said. "I have my tricks." [USA Today]
• There's a naked Lithuanian model on top of Zac Efron in the new Interview magazine, FYI. Zac and the young lady rolled around in dirt for the photo shoot and Zac says, without irony: "I got pretty dirty by the end of it, so that was fun. It was definitely different from anything I had ever done before." [Just Jared]
• Cops are going to interview Calum Best after a woman claims she was raped by his friend while he slept just a few feet away. [The Sun]
• Heath Ledger directed two music videos before his death; one for Modest Mouse and one for Grace Woodroofe. Both will be released this year. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Steve-O is the latest contestant to be injured on Dancing With The Stars. Does the show pay medical bills? [UPI]
• Portia de Rossi is still not pregnant, and not trying, despite what the weeklies are saying. [People]
• Sacha Baron Cohen tricked the Alabama National Guard into giving him a military uniform and letting him train — possibly for a scene for Bruno. A young cadet recognized him — maybe when he exposed his thong while changing — and alerted superiors. A staff sergeant is calling the incident an "embarrassment," but it sound like a security risk. [AP]
• Carson Daly's girlfriend Siri Pinter has given birth to their son, Jackson James Daly. [UPI]
• Guy Ritchie will direct a remake of The Wild Geese, "with a budget that will buy him some real star names." The original flick had Richard Burton, Richard Harris and Roger Moore; who will be the new trio? [Telegraph]
• Will Matt Damon be Jason Bourne again? Signs point to yes. [Guardian]
• Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber are both playing spies, but in different films. [Telegraph]
• Brad Pitt's film company, Plan B, is producing a flick based on John Le Carré's book The Night Manager. [Variety]
• Alex Rodriguez is seen kissing himself in a mirror in the new issue of Details. [NY Post]
• Jon Stewart's brother — who is head of US Markets & Global Technology at NYSE Euronext — helped him kick Jim Cramer's ass. [Page Six]
• No one is watching Kings or Celebrity Apprentice. [AdAge]
• Creators of Family Guy won a lawsuit which made it okay to turn the song "When You Wish Upon A Star into "I Need A Jew." [Reuters]
• It's tough to believe that villagers are living in fear of Pete Doherty moving to their town, but that is the headline here. [The Sun]
• There seem to be "two strapping young lads locking lips" on the cover of Bob Dylan's new album. This paper calls the photo "controversial." A commenter writes, "ha ha ha whats the issue?" [The Sun]
• Speaking of Bob Dylan, "Malibu residents say wind-borne odors from a portable toilet at the singer's compound are making them ill." [LA Times]
• Tons of Elvis stuff has gone up in an online auction — bids as low as ten bucks! [Reuters]
• "Tori is my daughter, and I love her. I wish her all the best with the publication of her new book… I never read her first one because my friends and family advised me against it. They said it would hurt my feelings, so I decided to pass. I won't read her new one either." — Candy Spelling, who moved the publication date of her book up two weeks so that it wouldn't hit stores on the same date as Tori's new book. [Us Magazine]
• "She's a little dictator. Definitely the most colorful person I've ever met. I feel so connected to her, but at the same time, we are completely different. I discover something new about her every day." — Salma Hayek, on her daughter, Valentina. [Mirror]
• "It's so sad that there's such an invasion of privacy, with camera people, cops and paparazzi outside their home. I mean, when have you not thrown something when you're mad? Everyone has to admit that at one time in their life, they've gotten so mad that they've thrown something, but maybe not necessarily breaking a window. Can't people have an argument without everyone watching? Just because she had an argument, I don't think it means that she's off track and that everything is crazy. It's really just messed up that everyone blames her. I think everyone needs to let her breathe." — Kim Kardashian on Lindsay Lohan. [People]

• Brad Pitt's mom was supposed to move into the Long Island estate where the posse is staying while Angelina Jolie films Salt, but Angelina has reportedly nixed the idea.

She thinks Brad should be able to handle the kids on his own, like she did when he was filming in Germany, according to a source. No word on what is up with the nanny, but that was a Star story and this is from a different source. [National Enquirer]

• Jen Aniston and John Mayer have indeed broken up. [Gatecrasher]
• It's official: Dancing With The Stars is a goddamn health hazard. Now Steve-O has pinched nerves. [ET]
• Injured Jewel will sing "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" on DWTS on Tuesday. [UPI]
• Bong boy Michael Phelps's interview with Matt Lauer will air on the Today show this morning and again Sunday on Dateline. [ET]
• Here's what you're gonna hear Michael Phelps say during the interview: "mistake," "bad judgment," "stupid mistake." Wait, do you regret it? [People]
• Last week, four of the celeb weeklies put Rihanna on the cover, and none of them saw an increase in sales. Life & Style had a picture of Jennifer Aniston on the cover, and sold more than sister mag In Touch. [NY Post]
• Chris Brown's image still appears on Sony Music's website. [NY Daily News]
• Details on Mandy Moore's wedding to Ryan Adams: The bride wore a "cream-colored, lacy tea-length dress and flat sandals" and the groom wore "tight skinny jeans, a T-shirt with sport coat and sneakers." The pastor "didn't know who they were." The ceremony took eight minutes. [People]
• The woman is dead but Anna Nicole Smith's legal issues live on: Now Howard K. Stern has turned himself in for providing ANS with prescription drugs. He was arrested and booked yesterday and the charge is a felony. [TMZ, People, Fox 411]
• This report begins, "Let's stop encouraging Joaquin Phoenix's miscreant behavior - the only thing real about this rap act is the beard." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Joaquin's "brawl": "It was a fake fight," says a witness. "Nobody threw a punch. They were just holding onto each other." [Page Six]
• Here's what Hayden Panettiere has to say about that "outburst" she had on the red carpet: "I have tremendous respect for the media and reporters – particularly the press who treat the people they are interviewing with dignity. While in Hawaii, one reporter grabbed me suddenly from behind and frightened me. It happens. Typically, the press has treated me with great respect." [Ok!]
  
• Will Slumdog's Freida Pinto be the new Bond girl? Signs point to yes. [The Sun]
• Kelly Killoren Bensimon may have "beaten up" her boyfriend to make sure she stays on Real Housewives. People are saying the attack was fake. [Gatecrasher]
• Someone is leaving House. Who, who? Also, Judy Greer is in an episode next week. She says: "[My character] works at a nursing home and there's a cat, and whoever's bed the cat sleeps on dies in the next couple of days. And then one day the cat snuggled up to my character and she totally freaks out and goes to see House..." [E!]
• Miley Cyrus wanted to meet Radiohead after the Grammys. She was told they "don't do that." She says: "I left 'cause I was so upset. I wasn't going to watch them. Stinkin' Radiohead! I'm going to ruin them. I'm going to tell everyone." Radiohead responds: "When Miley grows up, she'll learn not to have such a sense of entitlement." [Mirror]
• Feel like doing a *headdesk*? Peaches Geldof will be in a reality show about her "career" at Nylon magazine. [The Sun]
• No one wants you to forget that auction documents show that Michael Jackson's house was filled with sculptures of boys. [TMZ]
• Mischa Barton has a job! She's been cast in a CW show produced by Ashton Kutcher. "Ashton developed it about his life growing up as a model from Iowa, so it's about the whole fashion world that he was in, and obviously I have a lot of friends in the fashion world, so I'm used to being around a lot of people in that," Barton says. "[I play] a bitchy model-type character, like it's a totally different character for me." [People]
• Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson did an SNL skit about Hawaii's tourist industry and now the Governor of that state is pissed. [CBS News]
• Congrats to Cesar Milan, the dog whisperer, who is now a U.S. citizen. [People]
• Hugh Hefner is selling his house. Not the Playboy Mansion — the one next door, where his wife was living. [WSJ]
• OutKast's André Benjamin says it's tough being a fashion designer because people think "hip-hop stars will just throw their names on anything." And: "I'm not a gay man." [Page Six]
• Set your DVR: Tracy Pollan (Mrs. Michael J. Fox) is playing Natalee Holloway's mom in a Lifetime movie. [USA Today]
• Nicollette Sheridan could return to Desperate Housewives after she leaves this season. The show's creator says: "I wouldn't be surprised if that's just a nasty rumour and Nicollette has more Desperate Housewives episodes in her future." [Mirror]
• Vin Diesel says his life has changed in "an incredible way" since the birth of his daughter last year. [Mirror]
• Chris Cornell not only has a new Timbaland-produced album coming out, he has a second career as a restauranteur. In Paris. [Guardian]
• A screenwriter is suing the makers of the Jane Fonda/Jennifer Lopez flick Monster-In-Law, accusing them of stealing her plot. Sorta late, no? [E!]
• Researchers with too much time on their hands have "discovered" that if you listen to U2, you're smart, and if you listen to Lil Wayne, you're not. [The Sun]
• Whatever happened to Mary Stuart Masterson? She's in a new indie called The Cake Eaters. [LA Times]
• Least blind blind item ever? "Which rapper threatened a pal after the buddy mistreated his girlfriend? The icon got in his face, then froze him out on the group's private jet." [Gatecrasher]
• "I certainly try my best not to be a terrible interview subject. But I am tortured. If you've been acting all your life, you can just talk about yourself without ever thinking about what's going on inside the head of the person that's interviewing you. But for me it's different, because I'm constantly seeing it from both sides. I don't think there's any connection between my journalism career and my film career." — Greg Kinnear. [Independent]
• "I think that the best way to judge movies is, like, 10 years after they're released. I think they should actually do the awards that way. I think they should have done the Academy Awards this year for movies from 1998. I think it's better to look at a movie and then step back and look at it again. I don't think that the awards necessarily get it right. I think they get it wrong more often than they get it right." — Matt Damon, to Parade. [MSNBC]
• "For me this thing happened so long ago and I just really wish people could move on from it. I don't live in the past. When I read headlines about me saying 'When she was 15 her mother shot her father' it's very sensational for me.It happened 18 years ago. Since then I've had a complete, full life and, my God, if I've been living the past 18 years in the past because of one event that happened in my life someone should put a gun to my head and put me out of my misery because that's a waste of my life. I am 33 and I have had a much bigger life than that one event." — Charlize Theron. [Daily Mail]
• "I'm probably a lot more boring than I used to be and more tired at night. You can't fake it. It's like when it's bedtime, it's bedtime. I go to bed earlier and I get up earlier. I think being a parent changes everything about you in really little ways and in ways that you don't really understand unless you have kids. It's kind of like describing a guitar chord - it's not really a simple thing to do." — Matt Damon, to Parade. [Mirror]
• "Before we were married, my wife and I used to play a game called Let's Go Get Lost. We'd be driving, and she would just tell me to turn. 'Turn here, turn here, turn here.' I'd say, 'Baby, I know this town too well. I can't get lost.' And she'd say, "Turn, turn, turn." Until we were out in Indian country, and they were shooting at us." — Tom Waits. [GQ]
• "I'm kind of frightened of the red carpet. I really am. And, you know, it gets worse. At one time, you could just come down the line, meet the fans, see the film and hopefully a good night is had by all. It's changed. You have people checking out your dress from the minute you step onto the carpet and then, you know, it's a hit or miss. That can be more frightening than the premiere." — Julia Roberts. [CBS News]
• "I'm currently in the writing process. I'm learning how to play music and write song, but they're comedy songs. Because I can't write music or play very well - actually, I have quite a bit of musical aptitude when it comes to the guitar, but I don't know how to write music - I'm collaborating with different artists who are giving me the music while I provide the lyrics. Two of the people I'm collaborating with will be performing with me at SXSW - Patty Griffin and Amanda Palmer [of the Dresden Dolls]. [The songs] are all pretty dirty. The titles are things like, 'I'm In Love With Someone Else So Fuck You' and 'Eat Shit and Die.'" — Margaret Cho, who is performing at SXSW… as a musician. [Time]

• It's Oscar night, kids, and you know what that means: a night of fashions, possible upsets, long speeches cut off by orchestra music, and my mother calling to ask me where Billy Crystal is. [CNN]

• Hugh Jackman is ready to party tonight: "Celebration is the key," the Oscar host says, "I'm certainly going to have a good time. If I'm not going to have a good time, how the hell is anybody else?"[WashingtonPost]
• "One of my favorite moments at the Oscars was when the streaker came across David Niven. And we're upping it a level and we're just going to do most of the show naked. Um, well, there hopefully will be YouTube moments," Jackman says. "Drunk and nude, yes. So that's our new fresh approach. It's the Australian way."[CNN]
• However, Hollywood apparently is none too pleased that films like Wall-E and The Dark Knight didn't make it into Best Picture contention this year. [NYTimes]
• Anne Hathaway isn't expecting to go home with an Oscar tonight: "My category is sewn up. It's going to be (Kate) Winslet all the way. The best thing so far has not been winning the Golden Globe. It would have been awesome to win and a lot of people told me I was going to, and when I didn't I realized I was still having a great time. It didn't matter what would happen to me for the rest of the awards season. I was having a blast and so lucky to be there." [USAToday]
• Will Javier Bardem be skipping the Oscars tonight in order to keep his relationship with Penelope Cruz under the radar? "I got an e-mail from a source that said Javier is not going to show because he doesn't want to acknowledge his relationship with Penélope," says E!'s Guiliana Rancic, "They're a couple that likes to stay under the radar and so meeting on the Oscars stage would blow their cover. Would Javier kiss Penelope if she won? Would they hug? Would they shake hands? He's worried it could be an awkward scene."[OK!]
• Mickey Rourke picked up another Best Actor award last night at the Independent Spirit Awards."I just got done talking to the Santa Monica Police Department," Rourke said in his speech. "They gave me a bed to sleep in 10 years ago. And I thank them-I asked them for two pillows, they told me to f—k off. But anyway, thank you, Darren Aronofsky, for believing in me...I've told people in the past that directors like [him] come around every 25 years...He is one tough son of a bitch and he don't like it when I say that 'cause he goes, 'Mickey, you'll scare all the other actors away from me.' But Darren, you know what, if they ain't got the balls to bring it, then f—k 'em, you know."[E!]
• Meanwhile, Mike Myers' stinker, The Love Guru, was the big winner at last night's Razzie Awards.[EW]
• "I wanted to be a movie star. You can't say about work that I didn't try very hard. That really wasn't true. I've always been a great opportunist, but the opportunity was not always there. I had a difficult set of circumstances to deal with, particularly for a movie career. Being gay, really. It just doesn't work."- Rupert Everett[NYTimes]
• Is Amy Winehouse responsible for breaking up a couple? A woman claims she found Amy in bed with her girlfriend. Amy asked the woman to join in, but she refused. "It all got messy. Amy shouted at me for not joining in. It was a strange night," says the unnamed woman, who later updated her MySpace profile to read, ""Amy Winehouse asked me for a threesome and I said no, no, no".[Mirror]
• Lacey Schwimmer is quite impressed with her Dancing With The Stars partner, Steve-O: "His head is really clear. I look up to him in that sense because as hard as he's working on so many things, I feel like I should be working harder. I wasn't expecting how nice of a guy he turned out to be and how much of a gentleman and how adorable he is. He's so sweet and so cute and everyone who meets him just falls in love with him," she says. [People]
• Johnny Depp's real acting dream? To be a Python, apparently. "Johnny always wanted to be a Python," says Terry Gilliam, "He loves comedy and said 'If I could have been a Python I would've been happy." [DailyExpress]
• Jessica Alba claims that a leaky source ruined her wedding: "The person who helped us sign the documents told the press that day, so my parents found out from a reporter before we got to tell them," she says, We were planning to take them out to dinner and tell them, but that got ruined. I was more hurt, probably, than anything. It's not the first time something like that has happened. Journalists feel entitled to do whatever it takes to get a sensational story, no matter how it affects the person involved. We're not really people, right? We're just celebrities."[ShowbizSpy]
• Yo: Samantha Ronson doesn't John Edwards-it when it comes to haircuts, dig? "Two things," Ronson writes on her MySpace blog, "1. it doesn't cost $500 to cut my hair.... have you seen my hair? i don't even have that many strands.
  2. if for some reason i decided that I was going to throw $500 away on a hair cut I would pay for it myself, however- I have a great exchange going with my hair dresser- i make him cds- he cuts my hair. yay! cheap and cheerful! so there!"[ONTD]
• The third film in the Twilight series, Eclipse, already has a release date of June, 2010. But will sparkly vampires still be all the rage in a year or so? [HollywoodReporter]
• Diane Kruger was seen at Tommy Hilfiger's Fashion Week show with bruises under her eyes, but her rep insists that she did not have a nose job. "The truth is she had laser eye surgery the day before," the rep says. [UPI]
• Lady GaGa knows what she wants out of this fame gig: "I'm not interested in settling down," she says, "I just want to make music and f*** random people. I want to be around for 25 years. I admire Madonna and Courtney Love and the way they re-invent themselves and kick ass. I want to do that and be even bigger."[ShowbizSpy]
• "I feel like I came from the dark ages into the light ages. When I first started out, we didn't even have electricity. I was singing on TV before we even owned one. Now here I am in this high tech world. I don't even know half of what the stuff means. But I'm on it."-Dolly Parton [ShowbizSpy]
• Kenan Thompson wins today's round of "just stop digging that hole, please" when discussing whether or not Chris Brown would ever reappear on SNL: "It's not up to me, but I'm sure we would if he had another hit single," Thompson says, "We don't care about scandal. We just care about what brings us ratings! I don't know the whole story, but I know how women can get when you get a text message from another female, so I'm just saying, you have to learn that you can't put your hands on a female." Oh Kenan. Do we need to get Lori Beth Denberg in here to give you some Vital Information for Your Everyday Life? [USMagazine]

• A blog called The Blemish says that grainy BJ picture from yesterday is most decidedly not Lindsay Lohan. They have proof, but be warned: It involves a link to porn site XTube. [The Blemish]
  
• Meanwhile, Lindsay is spending Easter visiting her terminally ill grandfather on Long Island... And she took BFF Samantha Ronson with her. [E!]
  
• Renée Zellweger says she's dyed her hair so many times she's amazed "it's still attached to my head, by the grace of God." She doesn't talk about what she's on, though. [Page Six]

• Did Michelle Williams try to save Heath Ledger's life right before he died? [TMZ]
• A woman is suing Harpo Entertainment, claiming that crazy Oprah fans stampeded and pushed her down the stairs when she was an audience member. Orit Greenberg claims she has "severe and permanent injuries" and is seeking $50,000. That's a big give! [TMZ]
• Tori Spelling says she'd love to be in the 90210 remake. "Maybe I could be one of the main character's young step mom," she says. Well, Tori, first they have to ask you. [People]
• Jackass star Steve-O: "I was always powerless over alcoholism ... I haven't mentioned nitrous oxide, the drug I 'fiend' for, by far, the most. I used to inhale this gas by cartridge, specifically, by the case." [People]
• Jennifer Aniston is teaming up with Courteney Cox in an effort to raise $1 million for Epidermolysis Bullosa (EB), a rare and potentially deadly skin condition that mainly afflicts children. [ET]
• Chris Brown is still denying that he's with Rihanna. "I am a single guy," he says. "I have a close friend but it's not like a relationship. I'm just living my life and having fun." Jerk. [Mirror]
• Pamela Anderson is on the safety patrol at her sons' school. "You have to do it," she says. "And I love it." Surely she has a knack for stopping traffic. [Mirror]
• Aw, cute picture of Amy Winehouse when she was a schoolgirl. [The Sun]
• Angela Bassett was in tears yesterday as she got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Congrats! [Concrete Loop]
• Legendary screenwriter Buck Henry has been diagnosed with cancer. [Page Six]
• Chris Rock says a black First Lady could be a problem: "Because a black woman cannot play the background of a relationship. Just imagine telling your black wife that you're president? 'Honey, I did it! I won! I'm the president.' 'No, we the president! And I want my girlfriends in the Cabinet! I want Kiki to be secretary of state! She can fight!'" [Page Six]

• Minnie Driver confirmed that she is expecting her first bebe on the Tonight Show. Unlike Avril Lavigne's pregnancy, this one is not the brainchild of Ashton Kutcher but an actual fetus. Who's the daddy? [People]
  
• Britney on How I Met Your Mother: "Everyone, including the cast, the crew and the producers, has been wonderful and Abby is such a fun girl to play. I'm having a blast!" [People]
  
• Did Britney have her Hebrew neck tattoo lasered off??? [TMZ]
  
• "I would love, love, love to give Britney Spears a makeover. I think that she is so cute and sweet and has a great style. But it's all fallen apart and it's a mess now. I would love to bring her back to where she used to be." — Kim Kardashian. [People]

• Snoop Dogg will appear on ABC soap opera One Life To Live on May 8 and May 9. "I've been a fan of One Life to Live since I was a baby," says the Dee Oh Double Gee. "My momma always had it on the tube in the crib growing up." [Nicole Kidman's bodyguard attacked a paparazzo who was stalking her as she and her trainer were hiking. The photog claims to be injured, but who knows? [ONTD]
• Superbad star Jonah Hill is psyched to host Saturday Night Live this weekend. "It's my life's dream, and it's come true, so that's pretty sweet." [ET]
• Uh, there are pictures of Patrick Swayze with a cigarette in his mouth, though he continues to undergo chemotherapy for pancreatic cancer. [The Sun]
• Amy Winehouse canceled a gig for record execs from her label because she was "sick" but actually, she'd fought with hubby Blake Incarcerated over the phone and was too upset to sing. These tears dry on their own! [The Sun]
• Chris Rock had a one night stand in 1998; the woman tried to sue him three years later and call it rape; for some reason details of a phone call he had with a private eye regarding the situation are in the paper today. [Page Six]
• Michael Jackson has saved Neverland Ranch from foreclosure with a confidential refinancing deal. The ferris wheel is still rusty, though. [Page Six]
• What's up with Ed Norton and the final cut of The Hulk, which he wrote and stars in but is threatening not to promote? [Page Six]
• Despite yesterday's report that Rachel Ray's syndicated show may get canceled, this reports says she ain't going anywhere. Sigh. [Rush & Molloy]
• Weird blind item! "Which rehabbed screen siren flipped out when her sobriety caretaker tried to shoo stray cats away from the facility and into the woods? The bombshell tried to have him fired, but was told to calm down and focus on herself." [Rush & Molloy]
• Jackass star Steve-O was hospitalized yesterday and charged with felony possession of cocaine. Well, we knew he liked to snort stuff. [TMZ]
• Oh, yeah, video of Steve-O with a big coke booger. Warning: You will never get back the 5 minutes of your life you spend watching him talk crazy, so choose wisely. [Perez Hilton]
• Lily Allen leaving a club with blood in her nostril? Eh, don't really see it. [Daily Mail]
• The court in India has suspended an arrest warrant against Richard Gere for breaking obscenity laws by kissing actress Shilpa Shetty at an event last year. He is now allowed to visit the country — and leave — without getting arrested. Namaste! [Yahoo News]
• The April issue of Interview magazine features Michelle Williams, Naomi Watts, Ellen DeGeneres and several of Heath Ledger's other industry friends sharing memories about him. "He had uncontrollable energy. He buzzed ... His mind was turning, turning, turning - always turning." — Michelle Williams. [People]

• Donatella Versace's on the prowl: "I am looking for The One to take over the Versace brand." How Carrie Bradshaw of her? Anyway, the front-runner right now seems to be English designer Christopher Kane: ""Christopher is my favorite designer. He and Tammy remind me so much of me and Gianni - brother and sister, working together." Paging Dr. Freud! [Vogue UK]
  
• Model Yasmin Le Bon's tip for how to look beautiful in photographs: "Never shoot in the morning - your face just hasn't woken up properly yet!" Especially if you haven't blown all the coke residue out of your nose. [Vogue UK]
  
• Kim Kardashian on her and her sisters' experience modeling during LA Fashion Week: "Everyone is starving themselves backstage and we are just eating Twix." Say what you will about this family's integrity, but the junk inside their trunks is for real. [Fashion Week Daily, 3rd item]
  
• Rumor alert: Marc Jacobs might actually use models in the Louis Vuitton spring advertising campaign. Bet they won't be black! [WWD, 3rd item]

• Tiffany is focusing on selling "accessibly-priced" (i.e. tween) jewelry. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Ridiculous New York department store Henri Bendel is launching their debut accessories line. It plays off of their signature brown and white color scheme. And it is seriously fugly. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Jackass's Steve-O: The latest to go naked than wear fur. Wait a sec, is Steve-O ever not naked? [Fashion Week Daily, 1st item]
• If you see celebrity stylist/TV talking head Philip Bloch stumbling around Manhattan with a cane, rest assured: He is just fine. Though poor Barneys Creative Director Simon Doonan came across Bloch and convinced something was terribly wrong (you know, like, that Bloch had gone blind) when he passed him on the street the other day, turns out that Bloch is just going all Method acting-y and is preparing for a film role where he plays a blind man. And all the fuck we can think of this whole tale is: So Philip Bloch is an actor now? [NY Post]

• Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon attended a party at Carrie Fisher's home and "were sitting by the fire all night, talking... They were in deep, deep conversation. It was like there was no one else in the world." [E!]
  
• "I hate L.A., I'm so sick of that town." — Britney Spears. You have money, darling. Why don't you move? [Page Six]
  
• Watch out, ladies! Heath Ledger is still on the prowl: He and a friend were seen chasing two girls and giving them the address to Heath's new apartment in SoHo. [Page Six]
  
• Paris Hilton is trying to get her new man, Swedish tourist Alex Vaggo, signed with a modeling agency. He also seems to have moved out of his $27 a night hostel. "He's living much better now," says a source. No doubt! [Page Six]
  
• Vaggo was previously a pizza delivery man, by the way. He says Paris' family is "nice, normal and ordinary." Poor kid. [The Sun]

• The stripper who sold photos of Oscar de la Hoya allegedly in drag has regrets. [Page Six]
• Is Lucy Liu going Jew? Spies have seen her reading a book called The First Hebrew Primer between takes on the set of her show Cashmere Mafia. Keep in mind she's friends with kabbalah enthusiast Demi Moore. [Gatecrasher]
• A pal of Lindsay Lohan's says she is set to leave rehab this weekend. [Gatecrasher, 2nd item]
• The day after their motorcycle accident, George Clooney and Sarah Larson were seen eating at New York hotspot La Esquina. Margaritas speed recovery! [Gatecrasher, 4th item]
• Blind item! "Which powerhouse music producer likes to gear up before long sessions in the studio by watching his favorite kind of big-booty porn?" [Gatecrasher, last item]
• Brokeback Mountain, The Opera: in the works! [Rush & Molloy, 9th from bottom]
• Jackass star Steve-O: releasing a rap album, LOL. [Rush & Molloy, 7th from bottom]
• Catfight! At a wedding reception, Kate Moss accused Sienna Miller of stealing her style, her lifestyle and her friends. Sadie Frost broke up the brawl. The thought of being bitched out by Kate is horrifying. Doesn't she seem capable of being vicious? [The Sun]
• Drew Barrymore was seen serving cocktails at a West Hollywood gay bar over the weekend. She's so kooky! [TMZ]
• Halle Berry's baby daddy Gabriel Aubry says Halle craves pickles now that she's preggers. Also? "She loves foot massages ... I do all of that stuff," he says. We're so jealous our head is going to explode. [People]
• Lawyers in the Spears-Federline custody battle met on Monday to "refine certain areas" of a judge's previous order in the case. Whatever that means. The first hearing is set for Nov. 26. [USA Today]
• Sir Elton John intended to loan a Nan Goldin photograph to an exhibit at the Baltic Modern Art Gallery, but it was seized by police on suspicion it breaches child pornography laws. The picture features two young girls, one of whom is sitting down with her legs wide apart. We're just surprised to hear they're girls. [Telegraph]

• Star's juiciest filler feature is about Rachael Ray's crusade against studio audience members who dress tackily. On-set, she bans prints, velour pantsuits, sweats, T-shirts, sequins, capri pants, ripped jeans, and tank tops. This is the best kind of filler: While clearly based on a single horrified email sent by a sequined, denim capri-pant-wearing reader from Tuscaloosa, the weirdness of the story makes it seem juicy. Grade: B+
• In a more prototypical filler feature, Star runs a four-page guide to picking up celebs which "stars" Steve-O and Lost actress (wait, someone gave this ho an actual job? On an actual network television show?) Bai Ling divulging the top 5 pickup lines that worked on/for them, respectively. Bai: "Are you gay?" Steve-O: "Can I tempt you with this joint?" Grade: C
• InTouch gets the prize for most dubious filler content for the two pages it runs this week suggesting the contestants of this season's American Idol are actually hybrids of two previously-established celebrities, with Sanjaya being the cross of drunk churchgoer Paula Abdul and Harold & Kumar Kumar Kal Penn. Grade: D
• US fills two spreads, starting on page 66, by resurrecting celeb yearbook photos you've seen on 1,000 reruns of E! True Hollywood Story and using them to pose the question "Would They Have Dated In High School?" to Mo Rocca. This type of filler is a favorite of writers, obviously, because they get to e-mail Mo Rocca, and we enjoy being reminded that some celebrities are older than 23, and some even existed in the era of overteased-hair. Grade: C
• Life & Style, a magazine not long ago almost wholly comprised of filler, runs a story (page 72) on celebrities and hypnotherapy, detailing how Fergie, Martha Stewart, Drew Barrymore and Debra Messing all used hypnotherapy to conquer addictions and fears (Debra was afraid of being underwater!) Another page is devoted to fun facts like about how the average woman spends 385 hours a year shopping, which we think sounds low, since we spend at least that much time per year standing in checkout lines trying not to buy these fucking magazines. Grade: D.
• Finally, US devotes an entire page (70, for those of you following along!) to asking Ashlee Simpson how she manages to stay thin (Ashlee says if she wants bread, she doesn't eat a whole loaf... just a few slices!). We also learn that Ashlee wants to collaborate with The Cure. Grade: A+

Rachel Ray Enforces Strict Dress Code [StarPulse]