Has anyone seen "Gran Torino"? Not about Asian American women in gangs, but kind of along the same lines (Asian American men). I liked it a lot, and it was about a whole subculture of people I barely knew anything about beforehand.
@Maulleigh: I sort of was thinking that same thing too until MzJenkins set me straight down below. More than anything, I think the idea is hard to embrace because of the person it's coming from. It's simply not expected that an Asian-American woman will lead such a socially-deviant, dangerous, gangster lifestyle. Still, it doesn't make it any less true. It's more of a re-shifting of our own belief systems. No one would say, "Hey, remember Margaret Seltzer?" if the story had been written by a black woman. But I do understand your initial reaction.
It's amazing how much the "mainstream" doesn't know about HUGE and prominent subcultures right here in America. I'm sure there are some people reading this now going, "Asian women? 'Gangsta'? Really?"
You have no idea...
@MizJenkins: I may be guilty of this, because I'm still like, man, it's going to come out in a few months that these "memoirs" are as fake as a $3 bill. Damn, that "model minority" stereotype has really affected my thinking, too. And here I was thinking that I was immune because I was black and more sensitive to stereotyping. Still, it's very hard for me to wrap my mind around a gangster Chinese-American.
@MizJenkins: I think it probably depends on where you live. It's changed a little, but there are still large chunks of the country with barely any Asian-Americans living there. When I was growing up in South Texas, I knew 2 Vietnamese-American kids and 1 Chinese-American kid. That was it. And I know people who grew up in small Midwestern towns who never met an Asian-American until college. So all those people are relying on media portrayals of Asian-Americans. And we know how well that goes...
@mipsy6: I think you're right about this particular stereotype's influence depending on where one was raised. I grew up in a city where most of the gang violence was between Mexican and Fillipino gangs, and if you traveled a city or two North then you got into the Chinese gangs' territories. It would never have occurred to me to doubt the veracity of this woman's story based on her race.
The final word in re: physical attractiveness by Roald Dahl:
"If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until it gets so ugly you can hardly bear to look at it.
A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely."
I've known some truly gorgeous women- pageant winners, models, etc. - and I've never thought what they looked like had anything to do with how they acted.
I'm really annoyed by the implication that looks are how women should compete. How about grades, careers, talent? I'm not a very competitive person, but competition about looks/guys is the only kind I can't stand.
What have we learned? 1) Only be friends with people who are uglier than you. 2) Men should be buying your love, or you're not as pretty as you think you are. 3) If you express an opinion that offends other people, they're going to think you're stuck up, and criticize your looks. 4) Girls don't play sports.
I usually call it Hive Vagina. The assumption that all women, and thus all their individual experiences, are therefore universal experiences.
Anyone else tired of the "women are competition/jealous of each other's looks" trope? It's just so easy to fall back on. Like most stereotypes, there's an element of truth, but it gets turned into The Truth and it's just not accurate.
I honestly don't spend time rating my friend's looks, male or female. I don't base my friendships on looks because I'm not 14. Adolescence is the only time I can understand that being an issue. Otherwise, it's time to move on.
You know what really annoys me about this? What's her definition of pretty? Do we all have to subscribe to the same idea of what constitutes 'beautiful'... It's kind of a subjective concept. What a bunch of schoolgirl shit this is. How old is this woman anyway?
@REZPECT: You know what, though? Men aren't always so "friendly". One of the Daily Fail commenters makes a point about the zero sum game of sexual competition that women's competition is generally turned into (if you will pardon the preposition placement).
So frequently that happens because
- women are frowned upon for openly competing against men;
- women are frowned upon for competing against men or women in areas not related to such sexual competition;
- men will punish women even more severely than they will punish other men for competing directly with them for what they, the men, consider scarce resources.
All of which is a rather long-winded way to say I'm not sure your generalization is so accurate.
@Rooo sez BISH PLZ: You can put a preposition at the end of a sentence in casual writing or conversation, no points off.
I hear what you're saying, but aren't you basing your points on stereotypical male behavior? Can't the article's hypothesis - assholery is not gender specific - apply here as well?
"That stuff made me feel terrible most of the time and I don't want anyone knowing what that's like."
So, now,um -- why is the 'stuff' spewed all over a CNN web page that receives international exposure again??
Also, what twisted editor decided this feature should be named "The Frisky"?
As a reader, you take one look at that column title and you should just know there's going to be a problem.
I am perplexed by the term "the struggle for supremacy among females." Can somebody explain please? If it's what I think it is, don't we already know that the winner is She Ra, Princess of Power?
Why do people keep feeling the need to pit women against each other? It's like the witch hunts all over again where women were seen as plotting against men if they socialize with each other. It needs to stop.
@anabacus: The same reason they want them to spend all their time and money on dieting and Botox – low self-esteem keeps them from getting anything important done and makes sure they stay in a pink ghetto. Men can 'just be friends' the same way they can 'just be.' Women must have ulterior motives.
10/08/09
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10/08/09
I know I'm going to get yelled at for bringing her up, but, yeah...
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You have no idea...
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09/30/09
"If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until it gets so ugly you can hardly bear to look at it.
A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely."
09/30/09
I'm really annoyed by the implication that looks are how women should compete. How about grades, careers, talent? I'm not a very competitive person, but competition about looks/guys is the only kind I can't stand.
09/30/09
WRETCH.
09/30/09
09/30/09
Anyone else tired of the "women are competition/jealous of each other's looks" trope? It's just so easy to fall back on. Like most stereotypes, there's an element of truth, but it gets turned into The Truth and it's just not accurate.
I honestly don't spend time rating my friend's looks, male or female. I don't base my friendships on looks because I'm not 14. Adolescence is the only time I can understand that being an issue. Otherwise, it's time to move on.
09/30/09
09/30/09
One, despite its grammar flail, which I particularly enjoyed:
"Why does sexism get in the way of so many Femail articles, more to the point!
Will you never tire of depicting women as some kind of raging sub-species? Apparently not."
09/30/09
09/30/09
So frequently that happens because
- women are frowned upon for openly competing against men;
- women are frowned upon for competing against men or women in areas not related to such sexual competition;
- men will punish women even more severely than they will punish other men for competing directly with them for what they, the men, consider scarce resources.
All of which is a rather long-winded way to say I'm not sure your generalization is so accurate.
09/30/09
I hear what you're saying, but aren't you basing your points on stereotypical male behavior? Can't the article's hypothesis - assholery is not gender specific - apply here as well?
09/30/09
So, now,um -- why is the 'stuff' spewed all over a CNN web page that receives international exposure again??
Also, what twisted editor decided this feature should be named "The Frisky"?
As a reader, you take one look at that column title and you should just know there's going to be a problem.
09/30/09
09/30/09
09/30/09
09/30/09
09/30/09
09/30/09