• Tom Cruise is being sued by Michael David Sapir, who he sued in 2001 after Sapir claimed he had a video of Cruise "engaged in a homosexual relationship." Now Sapir says Cruise hired a P.I. to wiretap his phone.

He says the wiretapping took place during the 2001 case, which was later settled. Afterwards, both parties issued a statement saying the tape never existed. [TMZ]

• An autopsy was performed today on Brittany Murphy. Sources say there were no signs of foul play, but nothing that pointed to a cause of death either. Now the coroner is waiting for the toxicology report and other lab tests come back. [TMZ]
• The LAPD has concluded its preliminary investigation into the death of Brittany Murphy and sources say there is no evidence of foul play. [TMZ ]
• In this article, Brittany Murphy's "friends" say she got addicted to prescription drugs after having plastic surgery, used cocaine, and had an eating disorder. "We have been very worried something like this was about to happen. Brittany has been living life on the edge. She definitely had a drug problem and we have all begged her to seek help. Sadly our words fell on deaf ears," said the source. [The Sun]
• Ashton Kutcher, who dated Brittany Murphy, showed up to a book signing for Kabbalah leader Yehuda Berg on Sunday afternoon, but an eyewitness says he "looked visibly shaken when he arrived. He was physically there to support Berg, but mentally he was on another planet." [Star]
• This video isn't all that interesting, but it now seems creepy in light of Brittany Murphy's death. At a public appearance, she says to a reporter, "Can I have your hair in my next life please?" The reporter replies, "Can I be you in my next life?" [TMZ]
• In an e-mail to ABC News, Brittany Murphy's half-brother Jeff Bertolotti said, "I haven't seen my little sis for eight years or so now due to family issues and Hollywood politics, but never have i lost my heart for that sweet little child... I'm torn up in side beyond belief. It's just not natural for a man of 54 to see his kid sister of 32 leave in such an abrupt manner as this. The loss is just unbearable to us all." [ABC News]
• A clip of Abby Elliott impersonating Brittany Murphy on the December 5 episode of SNL was removed from Hulu last night. [EW]
• Hockey player Mike Fisher confirmed that he and Carrie Underwood are engaged at a press conference before an Ottawa Senators game tonight. "It's true," said Fisher. "We're both obviously excited and very happy." [Ottawa Sun]
• Her rep says: "I'm happy to confirm that Carrie Underwood is engaged to Mike Fisher, and the couple couldn't be happier... No wedding date has been set at this time." [People]
• There's a rumor going around that Jay-Z and Beyonce have changed their legal names to Shawn and Beyonce Knowles-Carter. A source says Beyonce wanted to keep the Knowles name alive because her parents had no boys. [Media Take Out]
• Britney Spears' manager posted a "BS Alert" on her blog listing the 75 most outlandish stories published about Britney last year. He lists a story about Britney dating Indian choreographer Sandip Soparrkar as the most ridiculous, but we think Courtney Love posting on her Facebook page "britneys dad molested her" is more disturbing. [Us]
• The FBI was supposed to release 333 pages of formerly-classified documents about Michael Jackson today, but they've been delayed by a day due to the snow storm. Source say the documents show that in 1993 Johnnie Cochran contacted the FBI and claimed the family of the boy who accused Michael Jackson of child molestation was just trying to extort money from MJ. [TMZ]
• Wave goodbye to Tiger Woods: Sources say he and some friends took off on his yacht from Florida this weekend and they're cruising to the Bahamas. [E!]
• It seems all of Tiger Woods' neighbors knew that he was cheating because he'd take women out to dinner and bring them to his home. "Elin feels that Tiger made a fool of her and that's not something she can forgive," said a source. [Radar Online]
• Sources say the husband of Theresa Rogers, the woman who had the longest affair with Tiger Woods, found out about their affair but made some kind of arrangement so she could keep sleeping with Tiger. [Radar Online]
• Moments after Pete Doherty escaped a prison sentence by admitted to careless and drunken driving in court, he was arrested on suspicon of possessing a controlled drug and taken to the police station across the street from the court house. [The Telegraph]
• Boy George is appealing his probation sentence for imprisoning a male escort because it prevents him from appearing on Celebrity Big Brother. [BBC]
• Are Randy and Evi Quaid on the lam? This morning they posted bail and later they were seen packing some belongings into their car and driving off into the sunset. [Perez Hilton]
• Check out Evi Quaid's mug shot from her arrest on Saturday here: [Radar Online]
• New Zealand TV host Paul Henry, who said Susan Boyle was "starved of oxygen at birth" and "she is in fact retarded," has apologized saying, "I am sorry that some people have taken what I said in a way that I never intended." [AFP]
• Want to party with the cast of Jersey Shore? It's going to cost you. Michael Schweiger of CEG Talent says, "We get the most requests for Mike (aka The Situation) and Pauly D. They're $7,500 per person." [E!]
• One of Bon Jovi's sons was taken to the hospital in New Jersey this morning. Authorities said the incident wasn't serious and he's already been released. [Perez Hilton]
• Taylor Swift is in talks to star in the remake of the 1984 flop Supergirl! The Love Story. [The Wrap]
• Taylor Swift has been named the Associated Press Entertainer of the Year. "I am so honored and so excited," Swift said. "This was so unexpected, and I could not be more grateful." Tina Fey won last year and Stephen Colbert won in 2007. [AP]
• The AP says Michael Jackson's death was the biggest entertainment story of 2009 (obvs.). [AP]
• No surprises here either: Entertainment Weekly named Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag's How To Be Famous the worst book of the year. [EW]
• Jessica Simpson posted this video of herself using an ear candle, which was a Christmas gift from her hair stylist Ken Paves, on her Twitter for some unknown reason. [Buzzfeed]
• Some previously unseen letters Princess Diana wrote in the 1980s have been released. In one letter she tells a friend, "I could not resist opening my present, as a parcel of any shape or form has never been safe with me and I fear that William has also picked up this dreadful habit from his mother, as I find wrapping paper undone in the most extraordinary places!" [Daily Mail]
• Nancy Meyers says Alec Baldwin demanded a butt double for It's Complicated. "He said, 'Mine's beautiful. However, I don't want to do that,'" she reported. [Us]

Though women now comprise a majority of their viewership, late night remains stacked with men. Here's a breakdown based on Carter's piece:

"The Jay Leno Show": Zero.
"Late Show with David Letterman": Zero.
"The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien": Zero.
"The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson": One, apparently (his sister).
"Jimmy Kimmel Live!": One.
"The Colbert Report": One.
"The Daily Show with Jon Stewart": Two female writers just added.
"Late Night with Jimmy Fallon:" Three out of "about a dozen."

So congratulations, Jimmy Fallon, on being the tallest dwarf! Of course, there is one break from this monotony, and it might not be a coincidence that the host is female!

"Chelsea Lately with Chelsea Handler": Five out of ten.

Which brings us to another point made in the piece: even if writers' rooms were full of women, nine times out of ten they'd still be writing for a male voice:

"When you're writing for late night, you're writing through one person's prism, and that person at the shows you're looking at is always a dude," said Hallie Haglund, one of the new writers on "The Daily Show. " Allison Silverman, who has served as the only woman writer first on "The Daily Show" then on Conan O'Brien's staff, said she had no trouble assuming the voices of male hosts. But she added, "I don't think the issue of sensibility is off base. The hosts and the staffs I worked on often resembled one another. Have you seen how many tall Irish people are on Conan's staff?"

Not surprisingly, the few women that did make it onto writing staffs have coped with being odd woman out with, well, humor:

"I would walk into Lizz [Winstead]'s office, where the writers were assembled to hear the day's jokes, and would want to exercise my executive producer privileges by sending half of them home to shower," Ms. Smithberg said in an e-mail message. "I wonder if the corollary we should be examining is between body odor and humor rather than gender and humor."

There's only one way to find out: hire more women writers. (And um, smell them.)

Among Late Night Shows, Few Women in the Room [New York Times]

Related: Letterman and Me [VF]

Image via The New Yorker

Following Conan O'Brien's on-set accident on Friday (in which he sustained a concussion) Stephen made fun of his fellow comedian for hitting his head, suggesting that it was because of a recent Glamour Magazine poll called "Do, Dump, or Marry?" (the milquetoast Glamour version of the classic marry/fuck/kill), in which Jimmy Fallon was the "do," Conan was the "dump," and Stephen was the "marry." First, Stephen was giddy over his Conan victory, until he realized Glamour readers were planning to cheat on him with "do" Jimmy Fallon ("you whores!"), and he had to cry, take "some antidepressant" (Ben & Jerry's), and declare himself to be fat. It was pretty hilarious, though one wonders who on Colbert's staff actually reads Glamour. (Oh, and also? Stephen is totally the "do" of those three. Duh!)

• Gerard Butler had to shoot a wedding photograph with Jennifer Aniston as a prop for their characters in The Bounty. Gerard says:

"It was quite romantic. We were joking about it: 'We might as well make this real. Keep everybody happy.'" As Gerard slipped the ring on Jen's finger, his phone rang. It was his mother. "I have to call you back. I'm getting married," Butler deadpanned — on speakerphone, so the crew could hear. "She goes, 'What?' " Butler clarified: " 'I'm marrying Jennifer Aniston!' and she's like: 'Oh, good. Well, I'm glad you made the right choice.'" [USA Today]

• Lindsay Lohan feels "scared" and "violated" after the break in at her Hollywood Hills home. She Tweeted: "I know it was not a ROBBERY. electronics weren't taken... just things that a certain old friend knew meant a lot to me. It really makes me sad, and well, obviously-scared. :( and I'm sorry i haven't been on in a bit... my life has been kind of in shambles considering my house was broken into and i feel really violated." [The Sun]
• Uh-oh: The "real reason" Lindsay is upset about someone stealing the safe from her house? She had some "very incriminating" videos, photos and legal documents inside. Will they go public? [Chicago Sun-Times]
• Oh Lord. Britney Spears is "still madly in love" with Adnan Ghalib, the paparazzo she dated for a few months early last year. Notes this column: "The pap-turned-celebrity-by-association was later charged with assault, hit-and-run and battery stemming from an incident in which he allegedly attempted to run over a court official who was trying to serve a restraining order on him." A catch! [Fox News]
• Britney has been catching shows while in New York: Wicked and The Little Mermaid, for instance. But her lawyer Larry Rudolph is with her, not alleged boyfriend/manager Jason Trawick. What does it mean? [Page Six]
• MSNBC Scoop columnist Courtney Hazlett went to the Britney Spears concert in NYC and reports: "When Spears wasn't changing from one fabric swatch to another, her time onstage could be summed up in one word: walking. There was walking from one side of the stage to the other. There was walking from one backup dancer so she could be flung toward another. Sometimes you could find Spears walking to a cage, entering and having another person push it, so the cage could do the walking for her." [MSNBC Scoop]
• The 53-year-old man charged with stalking Miley Cyrus told an investigator he planned on visiting her movie set and "finishing things." [AP]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin are accusing each other of financial deception. Prediction: It will get uglier than an Ed Hardy T-shirt. [Radar Online]
• The real reason Kate called the cops on Jon recently? She heard Jon was going out drinking and leaving the kids with babysitter Stephanie Santoro. [Radar Online]
• Jon was spotted wearing a shirt with the words "Lies lies lies lies." [Gatecrasher]
• On August 13, Jon and Kate's plus 8 — the children — staged a rebellion, refusing to be videotaped for the show. "The kids staged a sit-in — a revolt," Jon tells Life & Style. "They didn't want to work." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Now it comes out: Documents released by the court show that Chris Brown and Rihanna had a history of violence. She had slapped him during an argument three months before the February incident in which he assaulted her; his response was to shove her into a wall. A second fight, in January, involved an argument inside of an SUV in Barbados. Chris Brown "exited and broke the front driver and passenger side windows of the car. No one was injured during the incident." [People, TMZ]
• Before Chris Brown was sentenced, his record label CEO, a lawyer who has worked with Oprah and Brown's pastor all wrote letters to the judge. [TMZ]
• Chris Brown has been "depressed" since the assault on Rihanna. [TMZ]
• Court documents also show that in June, Chris Brown said that he was "ashamed and embarrassed" about the Rihanna beating. He wanted to plead guilty, but his lawyer, Mark Geragos, would not let him. Brown also told probation officers that he wanted to attend domestic violence counseling and "do it right." [TMZ]
• An official transcript of the incident between Chris and Rihanna is at the link; it is detailed and disturbing. Just a snippet: "As he drove, he continued to punch the victim in the face with his right hand while steering the vehicle with his left hand…
  [Brown] looked at [Rihanna] and said 'I'm going to beat the shit out of you when we get home! You wait and see!'" [TMZ]
• Kari Ann Peniche, whom you may have seen topless in Rebecca Gayheart and Eric Dane's nude video, says that she is a sex addict but not a madam. She says her hard drive has pictures of reputed madams because she once wrote a college paper about prostitution. She also says: "My biggest concern is my family. My brother is saying he wants to change his last name now. He goes, 'You're not my sister anymore.'" [E!]
• Six words: Neal Patrick Harris on American Idol. [Gatecrasher]
• Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer got together during the pilot of True Blood, but kept it very quiet. Costar Carrie Preston says: "They were very cool and professional about it." [People]
• John Mayer and Taylor Swift will be making music together, and that is not a euphemism. [Gatecrasher]
• Beyoncé has been named Billboard's Woman of The Year. [AP]
• Paula Abdul has gotten the boot from Ugly Betty "over her outrageous demands" — including a private jet. This report claims she will host a VH1 show called Divas instead and Kristen Johnston will take Paula's part on Ugly Betty. [The Sun]
• Danielle Staub from Real Housewives Of New Jersey needs a cover shot for her upcoming memoir, and is trying to get photographers to take a picture of her for free. A source says, "It's embarrasing and tacky!" [Gatecraasher]
• A "skripper" pal of Amber Rose claims that she got illegal injections from a "hood doctor" to make her butt bigger. [Media Takeout]
• Chelsea Handler and her boyfriend have broken up. But as you may know, her boyfriend is Ted Harbert, CEO of Comcast, aka her boss. He's moved out of the house and into a hotel. [Gatecrasher]
• Joe Francis is facing a criminal trial, and his defense team will try to legitimize Joe by linking the Girls Gone Wild mastermind to stars like Jennifer Aniston, Vince Vaughn and Jack Nicholson. Too bad Jen's name is misspelled in the presentation slide. [The Smoking Gun]
• Curious about Martina Navratilova's love life? Want to see the word "galimony" used in a sentence? Click the link! [Page Six]
• A&E is planning a reality series about the Jackson brothers. The network had already ordered a show before Michael Jackson died, but now the series will be expanded and focus on the band as they reunite as brothers — "underneath a cloud of tragedy." [NY Times]
• Comedy Central has been doing research on its fans and finds that viewers say that "people think I'm cool because I watch" Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. [NY Times]
• Drag performer Erickatoure Aviance went to a taping of the Wendy Williams show, but was told that she could not appear on camera or ask any questions because she was "in violation of the no-costumes dress code." Aviance said: "This is not a costume." And someone connected with the show said: "Well, it's a costume to us. We don't want the show to turn into Let's Make a Deal, where everyone comes in crazy costumes." Aviance was stunned: "So you're comparing me to a man in a gorilla suit?" Aviance notes: "I was wearing a ponytail piece and a bang piece. It was much less hair than Wendy was wearing and, p.s., much less hair than any of the other black women in the audience." Now Lonnie Burstein, the VP of the company behind the show, has issued an apology to Aviance and to GLAAD. [Advocate, Advocate]
• Susan Sarandon: Joining the cast of Oliver Stone's Wall Street 2: Electric Boogaloo. [Variety]
• Redmond O'Neal, son of Farrah Fawcett, has signed a reality show deal — brokered by his dad, Ryan O'Neal — that will chronicle hus strugle with addiction. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "Eddie Cibrian and Wife 'Both Happy'...Now That They're Getting Divorced." [E!]
• The Who's Pete Townshend has written a new musical, Floss, about the aging process. It's like, "Tommy can you hear me? Turn up your hearing aid!" [AP]
• Whatshername's new boyfriend tells her he loves her 50 million times a day, which seems excessive. [Daily Mail]
• "It was exhilaratingly humiliating. But I completely became giddy in a strange way the moment I put on the dress. Vanity quickly set in, and I thought to myself, 'I wish my belly was flatter.' Let's face it, I don't look great in a dress, but it's nice to hear I have nice legs." — Liev Schreiber on playing a transvestite in Taking Woodstock. Click for pic! [People]
• "The Runaways is absolutely not a biopic. It's not fact-for-fact. What they did was basically take elements from the Runaways story and created a parallel narrative. We're hoping it will be great. They exceeded our expectations with the casting. ... Even if it's not a huge movie, it's going to have a colossal effect on young girls playing rock 'n' roll, for sure. Kristen [Stewart] was so into it, into the whole vibe of doing this. I think she felt a weight and a responsibility to interpret it correctly. She was really serious about it and was watching me and asking me all sorts of question, from speech aspects to watching my body language, watching where I stood, watching my guitar playing. She really worked hard to get it right." — Joan Jett. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• "Everything in our movie, it's such a heightened version of reality. People don't just break up [in the films] – they break up and it literally kills you. It's not like you just say, 'Oh, I'm really depressed and crying.' I always had a really hard time figuring out, 'Am I doing enough? Do I look like I'm going to die?' My favorite line in the book is when I have to say to [Jacob], 'It's him; it's always been him!' Yeah, it killed me. It killed me." — New Moon star Kristen Stewart. [People]
• "I do get men trying to pick me up and it's funny because a year ago, when I was dressing like this, with a very avant-garde fashion sense, I think I intimidated men much more. It was funny the other day when I was wearing my cone head and this radio DJ was saying, 'Oh you're so sexy', when the mic was off. I thought, 'I can't believe that after a whole year, they finally think my cone head is sexy." — Lady Gaga. [Mirror]

Colbert explained that one way to combat the neutralization of masculine terms — like changing "Congressman" to "Member of Congress" — is to replace "female" terms with male ones. He'd start things off by replacing "bitchy" with "teste," the better to describe the way white men feel marginalized in a society that's slowly recognizing the existence and power of women and people of color.

Colbert "advocates" that, like gas, Americans should just politely ignore racism that busts out of someone's ass, regardless of how stank it is, so as to avoid embarrassing those involved. Luckily, since females don't fart at all, it's not as much of a problem!

Well, last night, he chose the former, debating himself on the relative "merits" of Don't Ask Don't Tell, and plowing through even when the laughter subsided somewhat and the situation began to feel uncomfortable. It was pretty amazing to see a comedian at a USO show in a former palace of Saddam Hussein in front of hundreds of active duty military personnel — the very personnel proponents of Don't Ask Don't Tell claim require it for cohesiveness (which is code for their lives and those of their comrades) — openly mock the military's stance on the LGBT members some of those soldiers undoubtedly know serve among them.

In the segment, the pro-Don't Ask, Don't Tell Colbert proclaims the issue is a problem to be fixed in Washington and then migrates to the argument that it's about military cohesiveness and those who haven't served shouldn't get involved. I guess that explains why Barack Obama hasn't gotten involved in it yet?

• Contrary to a report in the National Enquirer, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are not splitting up. In fact, they're in love. Imagine that! [Us Magazine]

• Meanwhile, Angelina Jolie has been named by Forbes as the "world's most powerful celebrity," stealing the top spot from (dun dun dun…) Oprah Winfrey.Forbes' Celebrity 100 power rankings are based on a combination of earning power and media exposure, and four out of the top five places are held by female stars: In addition to Angie and Oprah, there's Madonna and Beyoncé. Do it, ladies! [Telegraph]
• Interestingly, Forbes chose Beyoncé as their cover model. Maybe Angelina was too busy making out with Brad? [People]
• The Forbes "Celebrity 100" list is here. [Forbes, Forbes]
• Eminem speaks about the Bruno stunt: "Sacha called me when we were in Europe and he had an idea to do something outrageous at the Movie Awards. I'm a big fan of his work so I agreed to get involved with the gag… After the ceremony I went back to my hotel and laughed uncontrollably for about 3 hours. Especially after I saw it on air." [Rap Radar]
• Power ballad showcase showdown: Jake Gyllenhaal and Zac Efron are "neck and neck" to play the lead in the big-screen version of Broadway's Rock of Ages. [Gatecrasher]
• George Clooney is dating another waitress, this time she's an aspiring model in Miami. She looks really tall! [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
• Ashlee Simpson "had to be restrained" at an event where she was drunk and told her husband Pete Wentz's ex — Michelle Trachtenberg : "I hope you know, the whole time you were dating Pete, I was fucking him!" [Page Six]
• Did Susan Boyle lose Britain's Got Talent votes due to a YouTube scam? [Telegraph]
• Lindsay Lohan is following Sam Ronson around London, but it seems like every time LL arrives at a club where Samantha is hanging out, Sam leaves. Wonder why? [Daily Mail]
• Oliver Stone and Shia LaBeouf have made a deal: Shia will star in the Wall Street sequel. [Page Six]
• When he's out of town, Kate Hudson watches boyfriend Alex Rodriguez play ball on TV. [Page Six]
• Stephen Colbert will be guest-editing Newsweek's June 8 issue. Is that concept intriguing enough to get you to buy the magazine, at a time when print is flailing? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Oh shit, here comes the Adam Lambert smack-talk. A "source" says: "He is such a diva. Rude to everyone - from fans right down to the lighting folks." Clay Aiken, is that you? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Miley Cyrus fired United Talent, her agency, and will go with CAA instead. UTA had repped her on her Hannah Montana deals, but Miley is probably looking to "grow up." [Deadline Hollywood]
• Oh dear: Christina Ricci and boyfriend Owen Benjamin have called off their engagement, Sad face! In this report is the classic phrase, "They're definitely still friends." [People]
• Kim Kardashian says: "I am not engaged!!! My new publicist was talking with Star Magazine earlier today and accidently referred to Reggie as my fiance so they posted the news on their website! There have been so many rumors flying around recently about Reggie and I being engaged that she assumed we were! So, sorry Star Magazine for ruining your exclusive! It's totally my publicist's fault haha." [Kim Kardashian.Celebuzz.com]
• From a review of Britney Spears' concert in London: "The costumes are pretty skimpy and there's nowhere the set designers haven't contrived to put a pole for her to gyrate around. And yet there's something unsexy about all of it, possibly because there's something weirdly characterless about the woman at its centre: you'd happily trade some of the special effects for the sense of Spears actually engaging with her audience rather than slickly going through the motions." [Guardian]
• Britney's trying to sell her old house — she even dropped the price by about a million dollars — but no one's buying. People! This is the scene of the famous ambulance ride. Surely you want to… Never mind. [E!]
• LeAnn Rimes is accused of "stalking" Eddie Cibrian in the new Us, but in response to that allegation, she says: "You know what, I'm a classy woman, I'm never ever going to battle anything out in the press." And: "I can't control other people but I can control what I say and what I don't. I refuse to get down on any one else's level and I'm going to take the high road on everything." Okay then! [People]
• The stars of The Hangover — Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms and Zach Galifianakis — have a wacky, silly banter off the screen, as well. [USA Today]
• Real Housewives star Bethenny Frankel gave Caroline Kennedy a copy of her book, Naturally Thin. Surely, just what Caroline always wanted. [Gatecrasher]
• Eyeroll: Kristin Cavallari threw glitter at some models during a fashion show in St. Maarten and almost got in a fight, yawn. [Page Six]
• Mel Gibson's divorce — what with the real estate being held in trust for the kids and millions in the bank — is going to be messy. [TMZ]
• Mel Gibson's pregnant ladyfriend has an ex-husband who was married to her for five months. He says: "It's a period of my life that I would rather forget." Asked what his former wife was like, the man sniped, "You should ask all the other men - there were enough of them!" [Daily Express]
• While on break from shooting Dollhouse, Eliza Dushku visited Uganda and met with former child soldiers who are trying to reintegrate themselves back into society. "You learn so much that you would never be able to read in a book ... meeting people and hearing stories firsthand," Dushku says. "I can't bear to hear people say that they're bored in this day and age." [AP]
• Edie Falco says being the star of Nurse Jackie is different from playing Carmela on The Sopranos: "It really feels like changing careers in a way. [Sopranos creator David Chase] oversaw everything; we called him the master cylinder. We all had our input, but it ultimately trickled down to David alone in a room somewhere, I imagined, making all the decisions. I had trust in that. [But at Jackie], they're asking for my input on levels I've never been asked before. That's revelatory for me, and it takes a great deal of chutzpah, confidence, to be able to say that. I really am just an actress." [USA Today]
• Vanessa Hudgens and Mary-Kate Olsen will be in the teen romance film Beastly, a retelling of Beauty and the Beast. [Variety]
• "Stephen Fry and Ricky Gervais defend science writer sued for libel." [Telegraph]
• "Jude Law stuns the critics with a 'lucid, excellent' performance of Hamlet." [Daily Mail]
• Terrence Howard will develop a a TV drama based on the life of undercover LAPD detective Ronald Farwell, who infiltrated the Black Panthers. [Variety]
• Not-so-blind item: "Which rehabbed starlet is back in the tangled web of getting drunk every night?" [Gatecrasher]
• "It was just a comment that you make, the same comment when you're 12. He just made it when he was 38 or however old he is. They had a friend over last night who is gay. I have two gay brothers. It was not done with malice, because I know them. It was a slip of the tongue. His "uh-oh" moment. Let's give Joe his "uh-oh" moment. We all get them. The Joe I know has no phobias, has no discrimination, he has family members that are gay. He has friends that are gay. He welcomes and embraces my two brothers that are gay." — Caroline Manzo, of The Real Housewives Of New Jersey, on Teresa's husband, Joe, calling someone "gaylord." [E!]
• "It did take a lot of work. I thought it was gonna drop off easily because I had been in shape my whole life, but it wasn't. I gained about 50 pounds with my twins, and the first 30 dropped off like that, and I was like, 'Ha, this is gonna be so easy.' That last 20 - that took a while." —Jennifer Lopez, on losing her "baby weight." [Mirror]
• "First of all, you gotta run them around before the bath. Play a game of hide and seek or wrestle or muck around. Then they're exhausted. Then we all fall asleep on the bed!" — Hugh Jackman's secret to getting the kids to go to sleep. [People]
• "I'm reaching out to Susan. She should hook up with me and [Catholic classical trio]The Priests. We would be the world's first gospel supergroup. I think it's horrible people have been making fun of her. Susan just wants to love Jesus and sing – it's cute. Only I can help her out of her meltdown." — Beth Ditto wants to hang with Susan Boyle. [The Sun]
• "Filming a scene that involves being entirely naked and takes a couple days can be a little awkward. Thankfully you're there for so long and you're doing it for so long that you dispense with the awkwardness pretty quickly and start to have mundane, normal conversations – the difference being you're not wearing pants." — Ryan Reynolds, on letting it all hang out in The Proposal. [People]
• "In the movies, you often see the average-looking guy with the incredibly attractive woman. In my movies you see the average-looking woman with the super hot John Corbett. I'm happy to make those movies for all of us women. Guess what? We need people like me on screen. That's what movies are. You go and escape for a sec." — Nia Vardalos, whose directorial debut, My Life In Ruins, opens tomorrow. [LA Times]
• "They are men. They have desires. They have testosterone. If they make a mistake, I'm not going to hate them. I don't think they are above or below being seduced. I would be foolish if I thought that. I pray for them." — Denise Jonas, mother of the Jonas Brothers, worries that your slutty Jezebel lifestyle includes tarnishing her purity-ring wearing sons. [MSNBC]

• Mel Gibson "completely lost it" this weekend, according to a fellow churchgoer, who said he stood up in front of the congregation and "paced back and forth, furiously telling the congregation that he would not stand by and be judged and scrutinized."

• The source added, "Mel got up on his stage — the altar — and went off. He tried to intimidate the parishioners by staring at everyone with his angry eyes. Mel even threatened to shut down the church if people kept gossiping about him. The bottom line is that if Mel hadn't cheated on his wife and gotten his Russian girlfriend pregnant, there wouldn't be much to gossip about – he created this mess, and now he's trying to control it." [Radar Online]
• Nicole Kidman is denying rumors that she and Keith Urban are adopting a baby from Vietnam. Dang Minh Dao, deputy of the Department of International Adoption at the Ministry of Justice in Hanoi, told Australia's New Idea magazine, "Yes, Nicole Kidman wants a baby from Vietnam. We've been approached by the American Embassy." However her spokeswoman says: "I am aware of this rumour out of Australia's New Idea tabloid. It is a complete fabrication, there is no truth to it whatsoever." [The Daily Mail]
• Susan Boyle's brother Gerry said even though she's being treated for exhaustion after coming in second on Britain's Got Talent he knows she'll be OK. "She is feeling a bit exhausted. She is a bit tired and maybe even a wee bit homesick," he said. "First and foremost we have to make sure she is happy, and she is - she wouldn't change all this for the world. It would be nice to get her back home for a couple of days. But she will bounce back - we know our Susan." [The Sun]
• We know TMZ is expanding to cover political figures, but this clip of Dick Cheney is still disturbing. A reporter questions him like a Hills star stumbling out of a nightclub, asking if Cheney thinks the Obamas should have gone to see a Broadway show ("I don't know why not"), and if he's a Susan Boyle fan ("Sure, she's good"). [TMZ]
• We've lost count of how many times we've heard this: Britney Spears may be dating her agent Jason Trawick, because there's no other explanation for Brit going to Starbucks with a business associate. "In my eyes, Britney and Jason are definitely together," says one of the paparazzi stalking Brit. "I've never seen any other celebrity spend as much time with their agent as Brit does - vacation in Costa Rica, dinner, the Bahamas, running out to get Starbucks on a Saturday afternoon - I mean, it's not just business as usual." [Fox News]
• In honor of what would have been Marilyn Monroe's 83rd birthday, LIFE.com has released a series of never-before-seen photos of Monroe taken in 1950 by photographer Ed Clark. [People]
• Perez Hilton claimed last week that he never hired ghostwriters, so Guanabee hired a handwriting expert to study his infamous doodles and somehow she determined that he's totally lying. [Guanabee]
• Nadya Suleman's mother lost her house this morning to auction. Rather than helping her mom save her childhood home, Nadya recently bought a new home for almost the same amount of money that here mother owed. [Perez Hilton]
• Since EMI was taken over by Terra Firma in 2007, Joss Stone has become desperate to leave the label and is willing to give back £1.2million of her £7.5million advance to get out of her contract. "Joss has completely lost faith in EMI. It's all pie charts and products and there's no creativity. She has no working relationship with them and no confidence they will support her or market her album properly," says an insider. EMI won't let her go and is taking legal action to sue her because she won't turn over the master tapes for her new album Color Me Free. [The Daily Mail]
• Lily Allen is one of the celebrities featured in a new ad campaign to promote Britain's National Portrait Gallery. Her photo will be featured in an ad along with the caption "vocalist, lyricist, florist." Before her music career took off, Allen was training to be a florist. [Mirror]
• Pink's 14-week Australian tour is helping her rekindle her marriage to Carey Hart. Though scheduling conflicts caused them to break up, they've coordinated their tours so they're spending most of their time in the same cities. "It's the most time we've ever been able to spend together," said Pink. [News.com.au]
• Gordon Ramsay had to sell his Ferrari to keep his restaurant empire in business. He said his company expanded too quickly. "Tenacity and ambition overtook me. We thought we could do anything, that we could not fail. We flew too high, too fast," he said, adding, "God, I loved that Ferrari." [The Mirror]
• Looks like Ryan Cabrera's career isn't going too well. For just $24,500 you can purchase a one hour private performance by Cabrera through Sam's Club's online store. [Perez Hilton]
• Steve-O was ordered by a judge to enter rehab in 2008 and now he's marking each step of his recovery with a new tattoo. He has been clean for over a year and got another tattoo this weekend. "He was talking a lot about sobriety and passing another landmark," says a source. "He seemed like he was getting the tattoo on the back of his shoulder to mark a new sober period. He was in really good spirits." [The Daily Express]
• Zac Efron really wants to be in Vanessa Hudgens' new movie Sucker Punch because he wants to work with Sach Snyder. "I think it's an all-girl movie," said Efron. "But if there's any way to be in that film, I'd do it. I'd play a girl if I had to." [E!]
• Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart had dinner together after hte MTV Movie Awards. The surest sign that they're secretly dating is them having dinner in public surrounded by paparazzi. [Radar Online]
• Pearl Jam is recording a new ad for Target, and the company may be one of a group of partners financing their next album. [Billboard]
• Kimora Lee Simmons wrote an editorial for the Huffington Post about 14-year-old Trevor Casey, who was beaten by police. She writes: "As a mother of two beautiful daughters and one son, I am horrified at the way that our young black males are stereotyped: as negligible and disposable and destined for trouble." [The Huffington Post]
• Morgan Freeman says of playing Nelson Mandela in a new movie directed by Clint Eastwood, "If you are playing a living figure who's revered by the world, you've got yourself a major, major undertaking. You've got to do this without embarrassing yourself, your audience, and especially Madiba [Mandela's nickname]. Knowing that, you can be entirely too self-conscious. There are pitfalls, but I am going to be working with Clint." [Style.com]
• Natasha Henstridge says she's damaged her body in her pursuit to be thin, including taking pills and over the counter supplements. "I've done some things that probably weren't the smartest things in the world," says Henstridge. "All of a sudden when you decide to go clean, things are changing in your body because you done a bit of damage," [People]
• Pete Wentz's New York City bar Angels & Kings has been temporarily shut down for allegedly serving alcohol to minors. "There was an outstanding legal issue which the owners are now working to correct," says a spokesperson. [People]
• Christie Brinkley says: "I would never get married again. With what I know I don't see why anyone would get married." But she adds, "I totally believe in true love. And I think couples should celebrate their love over and over again." She doesn't think people need to formalize it though. "In fact, right at the beginning of a relationship, I would formalize an exit strategy," she says. [Ladies' Home Journal]
• Stephen Colbert says he no longer fears an audience not laughing. "The first director I had at Second City said, 'You have to learn to love the bomb,' and I didn't know what he meant for a very long time," he said. "But there's something nice about getting to the point where you enjoy the feeling that people aren't laughing. Imagine a child drinking beer for the first time and they can't possibly understand why you like it, and you can't possibly explain why it tastes good. But there's a buzz to failing and not dying." [The L.A. Times]

The crux of Warner's argument seems to be that Meghan McCain's efforts to mesh a political persona with her more personal side (as evidenced by her Colbert appearance, apparently?) make her look foolish, water down her message and will doom her career as a pundit or political person.

She says: You can't do these things because they're just stupid and, when you're already a sitting duck, particularly one who at some point in her career could very well rise to make a valuable contribution, you just can't afford to look stupid.

You can't because you end up sounding like a much younger, much dumber (which you're not), much less savvy (which you are) version of Sarah Palin...

Well, Meghan McCain is nearly half Sarah Palin's age, but I didn't see McCain looking stupid or un-savvy on Colbert — or in any of her other recent television appearances. She came across as she always does (and has likely been trained to), which is to say relatively articulate, politically moderate (while still speaking in GOP-code about guns, God and country) and approachable to people her own age.

But the more telling part of Warner's statement might be the "at some point in her career." Warner — who writes for the New York Times — seems a teeny bit cheesed off that McCain has gotten so big so young or, in Warner's words, has been "endowed with a soapbox years before [she's] paid your dues" and adds,

I really have no business feeling sympathy for a wealthy, pretty, well-connected recent Columbia grad who's already been given a political blog by Tina Brown, who's already been paid a reported high six figures to write on the future of the Republican party...

I mean, McCain is young, and she is privileged and, being the daughter of the last Republican candidate for President, she has gotten a pretty big soapbox. And — horrors! — she's using it to advocate that Republicans support same sex marriage and that people (including Republicans) take a more nuanced look at what being a Republican means, among other things. Do I disagree with some of her stances? Certainly. Do I blame that on her age? Absolutely not.

Warner thinks that McCain admitting, such as it is, that she's not a virgin and that she's "pro-sex" is an embarrassment and will only hurt McCain down the road. I think admitting in front of millions of people — including your family — the likely obvious truth that she's sexually active is both courageous (the memory of having that discussion just with my parents makes me shudder to this day) and a pretty overtly political act. By doing so, McCain brought home the already-interesting statement about the foolishness of abstinence-only education and the Republican insistence on putting a doily over the truth that most people have sex before marriage. She made herself — willingly and openly — the poster child for how being an openly sexual person isn't (and shouldn't be) quite so embarrassing, which is actually a really big deal thing for a lot of people. I think McCain knew exactly what she was doing — just as I think that her Twitter and McCainBlogette and the rest of her appearances are a savvy way of building a personal brand of political savvy and personal accessibility. I don't feel sorry for her in the least.

The Young And The Snarky [NY Times]

Earlier: Meghan McCain Talks Sex, Marriage With Colbert

• Jamie Foxx apologized on the Tonight Show for his statements about Miley Cyrus (he called her a "little white bitch" and suggested she should "go catch chlamydia from a bicycle seat"), telling Jay Leno:

"I am a comedian, and you guys know that whatever I say, I don't mean any of it. And sometimes, as comedians, as we do, we go a little bit too far. I have a radio show...We're really the black Howard Stern. We go at everybody. There was a situation with Miley Cyrus, and I just want to say, I apologize for what I said. I didn't mean it maliciously. You know I'm a comedian. You know my heart. Miley, I apologize, so I'll call you. I got a daughter too, so I completely understand." [E!]

• Miley's dad Billy Ray Cyrus thought Jamie Foxx's radio show comments were out of line, in case you were wondering. [E!]
• By the way: The 19-year-old hacker who broke into Miley Cyrus' MySpace last year is "very stressed" and in hiding. [E!]
• Another day, another Britney rumor; this time, it's that she's engaged to a 40-year-old real estate developer named John Sundahl. A source says the dude "got down on one knee in a Subway sandwich shop in Santa Monica" and offered Brit "a $4.5 million marquise-cut diamond." [Gatecrasher]
• Uh-oh, Britney's Circus tour might be a victim of the craptastic economy! She was supposed to add dates in Europe and Australia, but the outlook is now rather grim. [People]
• Lindsay Lohan on her Funny Or Die video: "I just think it's better to take something negative and turn it into something good... laughter is the BEST medicine." The video's director, Eric Appel, says: "She came up with the stuff about being a threat to all security guards — she improvised while doing it. She threw in a bunch of fun, funny stuff. People forget Lindsay Lohan's, like, a good actress." Wanna know why? Because we so rarely see her ACTING. [Us Magazine]
• Madonna's former nanny is still spilling deets about her time with her Madgesty! She says: "We weren't allowed to take any photographs of the family. We were given 'nanny cameras' so we could take photos of the children during their activities but when we got home we had to hand them in. The photographs were taken off and stored on Madonna's hard drive." [Daily Express]
• For crying out loud: Spencer Pratt wants a political career. He says: "Don't know if I'll be getting elected any time in the next century or so, but definitely going after mayor of L.A. and at least governor." [Us Mag via Pop Sugar]
• Is there another baby on the way for Heidi Klum? [MSNBC Scoop]
• When actors ask for money during a recession, they risk getting killed off. See: Edie of Desperate Housewives. Will Katherine Heigl's character on Grey's face the same fate? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Boo: The auction of Michael Jackson's stuff was called off yesterday; Jackson and the auction house reached a settlement. [AP]
• Mariah Carey has a Twitter, where she says things like "I gained a few pounds… My trainers back living w/me again..yippie." [E!]
• Oh. God. Mariah is covering Foreigner's "I Want To Know What Love Is." [Page Six]
• The 24-year-old Russian pop singer claiming to be the "mystery girl" to blame for the end of Mel Gibson's marriage is named Oksana Pochepa. She was seen "frolicking" with Mel on the beach earlier this year, and from the looks of these pictures she is not shy about her body. She says her relationship with Mel "is serious and I hope that our union will be real and strong and long-lasting." Good luck! [The Sun]
• Speaking of Mel Gibson, the writer of Passion Of The Christ thinks Mel owes him money. [TMZ]
• Stephen Colbert is heading to Iraq to entertain the troops! [Page Six]
• Zac Efron might star in a film based on classic animated TV show Jonny Quest, even though Jonny was 11 years old. In talks to play Race Bannon, the brawny dude from the show? Dwyane "The Rock" Johnson. [LA Times]
• This Twilight "news" sounds juicy but actually isn't: Kristen Stewart's boyfriend Michael is "really insecure" when it comes to Robert Pattinson. A source says: "Everywhere [Kristen] goes, [Michael] now wants to go too. He's extremely jealous. And let's just say he's been trying to be up in Vancouver a lot lately." Which leaves Robert by himself, poor thing. [E!]
• William Hurt to Marlee Matlin: "My own recollection is that we both apologized and both did a great deal to heal our lives. Of course, I did and do apologize for any pain I caused. And I know we have both grown. I wish Marlee and her family nothing but good." She has said that he was violent when they were together; she told Access Hollywood: "I always had fresh bruises every day. And if I had a split lip, or if...I mean, there were a lot of things that happened that were not pleasant…I was always afraid...of him, but I loved him. Or maybe I thought I did. But look, I was 19, he was 35." [E!]
• The lady accused of having an affair with Bruce Springsteen wanted the details of her divorce to be private; the judge said no way. [NY Post]
• Wow, does David Letterman really hate Jay Leno? Apparently Jay wrote him a letter after his open-heart surgery and Dave did not respond. GQ calls this "heartless." [New York Mag]
• You guys: The show hasn't started yet but one of the Real Housewives Of New Jersey is pregnant. [People]
• The folks at ONTD are calling Johnathon Schaech's blog "The Saddest Blog Of The Year." [ONTD]
• Survivor star Richard Hatch wants to live in Argentina after he's released from prison for tax evasion; a federal judge said no fucking way. [USA Today]
• An arrest warrant was issued for model Angie Everhart, but she has paid a fine and her lawyer says it was a misunderstanding. [RadarOnline]
• Law & Order : SVU has been renewed for an 11th season, but it's not clear whether stars Christopher Meloni and Mariska Hargitay will return. How can the show move on without them? [LA Times]
• Words I never ever thought I would type: Apple's Steve Wozniak will walk Dancing With The Stars' Karina Smirnoff down the aisle at her wedding to Maksim Chmerkovskiy. [Page Six]
• Private Practice star Kate Walsh filed amended divorce papers on Monday; she doesn't want her estranged hubs to get spousal support. [ET]
• Blind item! "Which singer/talk show hostess should be more careful where she shops? She was taken recently to a downtown storage facility where she bought $10,000 worth of luxury designer goods of dubious provenance — not fake, but fallen off the truck." [Page Six]
• "The girls were out of control-they were doing drugs and they were making out and they were coming on to us in a big way. They might have been 15 or 16, but in their heads they were already 40. I don't think there was a virgin on the set, except maybe a couple of the guys." — says Gerald V. Casale, of DEVO, reminiscing on playing the "New Wave Bat Mitzvah" on '80s sitcom Square Pegs. He also says he did coke with Jami Gertz and Sarah Jessica Parker in the talent trailers. [Heeb]
• "See, I don't think of myself as funny. I think of myself as rather grave, actually. And I'm suspicious of fun. I never quite know what that is or how to deal with it or how to generate it. That's my fault. I know it's a burden on the people I'm with. It's tiresome." — Hugh Laurie. [Mirror]
• "I'm in love with Angelina Jolie. Everything she does, I adore. I'd like to do an action film where I could kick someone's ass. I want to be strong and empowered. I want to shock everybody. [I have] really strong legs. I inherited them from my dad, who has tree stumps for legs, basically. I've got big calves that look good. When I wear heels, it looks like I've worked out my legs a lot, which is why I love them. I also have a big, big big toe. I call it my goat toe. I can climb anything." — Vanessa Hudgens. [Ok!]
• "I will donate 100K to one individual's favorite non profit organization.Of course,you must convince me why by using 140 characters or less." — Hugh Jackman, on Twitter, encouraging people to Tweet their suggestions. [Telegraph]
• "How long do you think the whole Internet thing is gonna last? Are people gonna get sick of that in five, 10 years, maybe? They [my kids] won't get to be, like, 15, 16, typing in, like, the word 'Fuck' and their father's name - a kid wouldn't do that, right? This just completely undermines all parental authority I would ever have." — Ben Affleck, worried that the "I'm Fucking Ben Affleck" skit he did with Jimmy Kimmel will be seen by his kids someday. [Daily Express]
• "I could have turned everything into a crime scene, like OJ, cutting everybody's throat. You live half a mile from the 20,000-square-foot home you can't go to anymore, you're driving through downtown Clearwater and see a 19-year-old boy driving your Escalade, and you know that a 19-year-old boy is sleeping in your bed, with your wife… I totally understand OJ. I get it." — Hulk Hogan. [Page Six]
• "My friend hypnotised me before I started rehearsals to have a real open mind. I was getting a bit nervous. My anxiety was getting to me. I was hypnotised to calm me down and it worked." — Mel B, on getting ready for her racy peepshow in Las Vegas. [Daily Express]
• "I said, 'Look I'm going to call out the elephant in the room. I've never done a part like this. I sound like a girl from the San Fernando Valley. I have nothing in my arsenal to prove to you I'm capable of doing this.'" — Drew Barrymore, on her casting meeting for Grey Gardens. [LA Times]
• This is my first action movie, and I love every minute of it. I have a wonderful role, named Virginia. I wish I could tell you more about who I am, but I had to sign a confidentiality agreement. And I'm a trading card, too! I said, 'Oh my God, I have to be the oldest female-action-figure trading card.' And it's a very odd child who will ask for my card." — Jane Alexander, 69, who is in Terminator: Salvation as well as the play Chasing Mamet. [NY Mag]
• "I WAS WORKING ON THIS DOPE ASS SONG WITH JARED AND BRANDON STOPPED BY. I PLAYED THEM SOME OF THE NEW JEEZY BEATS AND BEFORE EVERYBODY BOUNCED BRANDON HOPPED ON THE KEYBOARD AND I HOPPED ON THE MPC. SHIT WAS DOPE. OH AND YES THOSE ARE SWAROVSKI CRYSTALS ON BRANDON'S SHIRT BY DRIES VAN NOTEN." — Your Friend Kanye West, who is talking about Jared Leto and Brandon Flowers. Pic at the link! [Kanye UniverseCity]

• Madonna is making moves in Malawi: This picture at the link shows 4-year-old Mercy, the girl she's trying to adopt, holding hands with possible new sister Lourdes. [Daily Mail]

• Oprah faces yet another scandal involving her Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa; seven students allegedly engaged in "inappropriate behaviors." [Socialite Life]
• This report says that even though girls at Oprah's school were expelled, this is not a sex scandal. [MSNBC]
• Lisa Ling's sister Laura and another journalist being detained in North Korea are headed for a trial on the basis of "already confirmed suspicions," which doesn't sound good. [People]
• Bridget Moynahan is furious with Gisele Bundchen for telling Vanity Fair she loved Tom Brady's son like he was her own. Someone close to Bridget says: "If Gisele loved Bridget's child like he was '100 percent her own,' then she would not talk about him in the press. Discretion and respect are not either of Gisele or Tom's virtues, as was evidenced even when the child was still unborn and they publicly flaunted their relationship without any discretion whatsoever." [Page Six]
• Kate Moss is supposedly in New York to open the new TopShop here and OMGCLOTHESOMG. [Daily Mail]
• Shocker: Britney's Candie's ads have been Photoshopped! Won't someone think of the children? [Daily Mail]
• Josh Holly, the dude who hacked into Miley Cyrus' email and had his apartment raided by the FBI back in October is still being investigated. Special Agent Scott Augenbaum says: "We're still working on it. He hasn't been arrested." Guess what Holly has been doing in the meantime? Hacking celeb MySpace accounts and spamming their "friends." [E!]
• Speaking of Miley, she looks ever so uncomfortable on the May cover of Glamour. [Just Jared]
• Stephen Colbert is warning NASA to name a new wing of the international space station after him or he will "seize power as space's evil tyrant overlord." [CNN]
• Holy crap yay! Taye Diggs and Idina Menzel are expecting their first baby! [Socialite Life]
• Singer Natalie Cole is in desperate need of a kidney; she went on Larry King last night to talk about it and dozens of emails came in, with offers from people saying they would get tested to see whether their kidney could be donated. Sometimes TV redeems itself. [CNN]
• In this photograph, Robert Pattinson looks like a folkie singer with long hair and a guitar. Scarier than a vampire? [E!]
• Kelly Rowland has left Columbia Records, the label she's been with since her Destiny's Child days. Good luck out there! [E!]
• American Idol's emo musical theater rocker, Adam Lambert, has a fan in Neil Patrick Harris: The How I Met Your Mother Star was in the audience last night and says, "No male in this competition has sung so well. He really hit those notes." [E!]
• A TV station in Panama City, FL decided that Osbournes: Reloaded was "not keeping with community standards" and declined to air the show after American Idol. [E!]
• A sneak peek at the new Sherlock Holmes flick: "Leave it to Robert Downey Jr. to turn Sherlock Holmes into a wisecracking action hero who ends up handcuffed naked to a bed." [Yahoo News via AP]
• Rachel McAdams says filming the Sherlock Holmes movie was "cold and dirty." "The 1800s were kind of dirty, I realized. I didn't think about that before." [Mirror]
• Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani will never collaborate musically: "We come from such band mentalities that it's something we've really done well to avoid," Gavin says. [Mirror]
• Dreamworks animated flicks like Kung Fu Panda and Monsters Vs. Aliens will be shown on FX, thanks to a deal between the channel and the distributor. [USA Today]
• Star Jones says her mind and body are not in sync: I'm still 300 lbs. in my head some days," she told Oprah. [People]
• Wanda Sykes and the Fox network are finalizing a deal for a Saturday late-night show. Bring it! [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• Some Slumdog Millionaire DVDs were released without the "making of" feature and "deleted scenes," which were advertised on the box. Buyers are bitching to Amazon about it; Amazon is blaming Fox. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Pedro, a film about the HIV positive Real World castmember Pedro Zamora, premieres tonight on MTV and LOGO. [LA Times]
• The Seattle home where Jimi Hendrix grew up has been destroyed; preservation efforts failed. [Mirror]
• Liam Neeson has completed Chloe, the film he was working on when his wife Natasha Richardson died. [CBS News]
• R.I.P Andy Hallet, who played the demon Lorne on Angel. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Blind item: "Which Academy Award winner, who constantly denies his philandering ways, was outed after sleeping with a publicist who blabbed to everyone?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I'm going to get smashed after doing this." — Ed Westwick, at the Dressed To Kilt show, before which he apparently stripped down to his underwear in a corner to change into his kilt. [Gatecrasher]
• "I break down a couple of times a week, at least. It gets overwhelming. Sometimes I think that I can't take this anymore. I just want to live a normal life. Olivia [Palermo] kind of mothers me and looks at me as a pet project…I'm not some country bumpkin. I'm from Los Angeles." — Whitney Port on The City. [Page Six]
• "If women look like her, that would be the perfect world. She doesn't need to change anything. Who likes stick skinny girls? Where's the flavor? Whoever likes those stick skinny girls never had sex before in their life." — Dancing With The Stars' "star" Gilles Marini, on people talking about Cheryl Burke's weight gain. [E!]
• "I want my dogs to be in my wedding, I am so serious." — Jennifer Hudson. [Mirror]
• "Girls are scary. Large groups of girls scare the (crap) out of me." — Kristen Stewart. [USA Today]
• I haven't read the books, but I saw the movie… I thought the movie was really bad." — Whitney Port, on Twilight. [Perez]

Directed by Rob Letterman and Conrad Vernon, the film tells the story of Susan (Reese Witherspoon), a Californian bride who gets hit in the head by a meteor on the day she's supposed to marry her self-important fiance, Derek (Paul Rudd). Susan grows 50 feet tall and the military takes her to a detention center for monsters. While there she meets B.O.B. (Seth Rogen), a gelatinous blue blob; Dr. Cockroach (Hugh Laurie), who is half-insect, half-mad scientist; and Missing Link (Will Arnett), the part fish, part human. When the evil alien Galaxhar (Rainn Wilson) threatens Earth, General W.R. Monger (Kiefer Sutherland) convinces the President (Stephen Colbert) that the monsters should be released, as they are the only ones who can save the planet from cartoon doom.

From now on, DreamWorks Animation says it is only going to movies designed for 3-D. Monsters vs. Aliens is supposed to prove that the format can work as a story telling device rather than just a gimmick during Super Bowl commercials. With its stereotypical themes of outcasts saving the day and a bit of girl empowerment, it's not clear that they succeeded. While the critics found the jokes moderately amusing and most of the voice acting solid, when the film is viewed in 2-D, without anything being hurled at the screen, the story unoriginal. Below, we size up what the critics are saying about Monsters vs. Aliens.

Slate

Not to let any unnecessary ideology creep into a review of a fun animated movie, but let's get this out of the way up front: Monsters vs. Aliens is a film for children with a female lead. She is not the love interest, or the helpmate, or the mom. Nor is she a princess, or princesslike. She does not marry a prince or a prince-manqué. She does not marry at all. She tries to get married, but she is struck by a meteor on her wedding day (typical!), which transforms her into an unmarriageable, world-saving, 49-foot-11-inch superfreak and-thank you, O bountiful movie gods-a Strong Female Protagonist. (Or, as my more skeptical viewing companion put it, "a strong female protagonist who just happens to be ultra-skinny with big boobs and a pneumatic butt, and who sometimes wears a catsuit." Touché.)

The Los Angeles Times

The dialogue has its share of the sly grown-up/cultural references that have become de rigueur for DreamWorks projects, designed to make sure the adults in the audience don't fidget, but there aren't enough of them to push this into full-fledged comedy mode. Which means it's up to the action/thriller elements to power the film, and they are never quite bold enough.

So it comes down to the story and the voice actors to carry the day, and they have their moments — particularly the monster crew led by a feisty Witherspoon, who brings some of the edgy-fun of her Election mean-girl to Susan as she grows stronger.

Baltimore Sun

The best running gag comes when BOB falls in love with a Jell-O mold. The mold has more shape and structure than anything else about the movie. Rogen gives a textbook demonstration of the unlikely power a juicy voice performance can provide to a gelatinous mass. Yet, amazingly, in a cast that also includes Stephen Colbert as a reputation-conscious president and Kiefer Sutherland as a monster-wrangling general (with the joke name W.R. Monger), no one else stands out or steps up the way Rogen does.

The Boston Globe

The bright, enthusiastic performances from Rogen, Witherspoon, Laurie, et al., put Monsters vs. Aliens over, not the dialogue that trundles along a well-worn family movie rut. Rudd displays none of his sneaky charm as the fiance - turns out you need to see this actor to get the joke - and the same goes for Stephen Colbert as the US president, who's drawn much funnier than he sounds, like a Mort Drucker caricature in a vintage '60s Mad magazine. In general, though, the animation isn't terribly impressive if you take away the 3-D; the monsters are fetchingly bizarre, but all the women look like Bratz dolls.

Reel Views

Monsters vs. Aliens, one of the 2009 big movies designed to highlight where 3D could transport audiences, is an example of technology run amok. With a slight, light screenplay that required five credited writers, the film tells an unimaginative story about an alien invasion of Earth that is foiled by "monsters." Of course, they're not really monsters. They're just misunderstood. But since they're in the 3D, we're too busy watching whizzing comet fragments fly out of the screen to care about things like plot or character development. It's a good thing, too, because anyone on the lookout for those elements may be a little disappointed.

NPR

Here, directors Rob Letterman and Conrad Vernon push so hard for three-dimensionality - and they're so reliant on it - that they basically have their animators putting sightlines before storylines; they set up practically every scene so that something in it can be sent careening at your head. After a while, you can see the setups happening - and once you do, the careening gets predictable. Which gets old, really fast.

The A. V. Club

On some level, the latest DreamWorks CGI project isn't a movie so much as a gag-delivery system wrapped in special effects. The story is crammed with incident, yet completely trifling; there are a ton of personalities, but no real characters. It zips along at hyperspeed, alternating jokes, explosions, and videogame-ready action segments, but never comes to rest long enough to make an impression. It's available in some markets in 3D, but regardless of presentation, it's strictly two-dimensional.