Over the course of her effervescent, heart-tugging, clinically professional two-and-a-half hour victory lap in the swampy stadium twilight of Nationals Park in Washington, DC, the 25-year-old singer-songwriter-superstar Taylor Swift reminded me of many things, including: an animated mannequin, a Rockette on XR…

Welcome to Grim Yelp Reviews, a new regular feature where we share people’s worst experiences at the worst places. This week: sportsball.